Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ Final Christmas ❯ Lifeline to Flatlined ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: Don't own characters. Do own the plot line in this story though… that's worth something, right? _________________________________________________________________

Chapter 9: Lifeline to Flatlined

 

November 29, 2005

 

She's been in a coma for the past month and a couple of days now. The doctors have told us to be prepared for the fact that this might be the one she wouldn't awake from. But they've said that the past few times, so they could be wrong as well this time. Christmas is in a month and I know she was determined to see it through to that day. She's so close now… to both death and her goal.

 

The cards are mine as much as they are hers still. That allows me some hope, no matter how small. Hope is hope, right? What else can we do now but hope for the better?

 

With each day that passed and she grows worse, my heart shatters just a bit more. The rope has been thinned to a simple thread that's holding her here with us. So easily breakable; so unpredictable in its every action. Would it be able to hold her to us long enough to let her heal? I can only hope.

 

The heart monitor they've hooked her up to does little to comfort me. If anything, its made me more stressed and terrified. Every beep has me holding my breath in fear that it may change into the dreaded long sound that signifies her death. Every silence gives me relief and a hold on my sanity. Her breathing now depends on the tube forced down her slim throat. Machines are the only things keeping my dearest love alive now.

 

I can't let her go. She's my world, my everything. If she dies, my world ends and where would that leave me? An empty shell of the man I once was? The cards won't let me follow her into eternal bliss until I've found a worthy successor to pass them onto. A hard place and a rock I seem to find myself stuck between.

 

Dare I say good-bye to Sakura? Never! If given the option, I would hold onto the hellos for as long as I possibly can. As they say, good-byes are the hardest. In this case, it's damn near impossible. She's mine and I refuse to let her leave me. I love her. That counts for something, right? I came back for her and it was the best choice I've ever made.

 

If forced to choose between Sakura and my family, I believe I'd choose her. She's my future and my family's my past. What kind of fool would forsake their future for their past? The past three years have been both the best and the worst. The first two years were heaven for me. The past year was when things fell apart and I lost my paradise to purgatory.

 

If she dies, I will be neither dead nor will I be alive. I'll just exist. Going from day to day, night to night, waiting. Waiting until the day I can see my Sakura again. Waiting until I can find my heavenly paradise once more. Waiting…

 

Even now, as I sit here writing this, she's fighting what could very well be her final battle behind me. And there's nothing I can do to help her. Damn! What did I ever do that was so wrong that I'd have to lose her as a punishment? What did she ever do that she needs to suffer like this? I'd walk away if that would let her live… I swear I would. If she'd only live. At least that way I could watch her from afar.

 

Mei Lin arrived just two days before Sakura fell into her comatose state and hasn't left her bedside since. The tear tracks on her cheeks have long since dried up, but everyday her eyes would fill up with fresh tears… none of them ever falling. According to her, there's no point in letting the tears fall if the one you're crying for can't cry with you. That's not true. I've shed my tears when the two of us are alone. Sakura was the first to ever see my tears and she'll be the last as well.

 

She's my weakness as well as my strength. A deadly combination, but true nonetheless…

 

… I wonder why the doctors are in here again. Oh, shit! She's flatlined!