Cyborg 009 Fan Fiction / Lupin III Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction / Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow ❯ StOp ThE iNsAnItY: Koenma's Revenge 1 ( Chapter 1 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
'Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow
"StOp ThE iNsAnItY: Koenma's Revenge--Part I"
Written by: Jesscheaux
Disclaimer: I did not invent, nor do I own, Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters. I do own Jessi thought, because she is me! I also do not own the authors that I am using in this fic they own themselves!
Author's Notes: Back by popular demand, THE REVENGE SERIES! "Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow" was the first title I thought of for it and it stuck! This picks up a little while after the third largest installment of the Revenge Series, "The Bashing Must Cease: Kuwabara's Revenge." Koenma is sick and tired of helping our Spirit Detectives get revenge on each other one after the other. He's been pushed over the edge. A crazed Koenma goes to great lengths to get his OWN revenge on the Reikai Tantei. Stay tuned for fun and madness!
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BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Lord Koenma banged his head against his desk for about the millionth time that day. He was developing a lump over that cute tattoo on his forehead, but he really didn't care. After a few more bangs he held his head in his hands and fell over in his chair.
"Whyyyyy do I dooo thiss!!!" he moaned to no-one in particular.
"Are you ok, Koenma-sir?" his assistant George asked worriedly.
"Does it LOOK like I'm ok?"
"Well, no..."
"OF COURSE I'M NOT OK!!! Those four idiot Spirit Detectives are driving me up the wall, not to mention Botan constantly asking for a raise! I can't take the pressure anymore, George! I think I'm going to EXPLODE!"
"Perhaps a rice-ball would make you feel better?"
"Is is strawberry flavored?" Koenma asked eagerly.
"Yes, your favorite!" George set a plate in front of Koenma who immediately scarfed the rice balls down.
"That sure hit the spot."
"You're welcome, sir."
"But I still feel rotten! GRRRR I HATE HELPING EVERYBODY!"
"You could always say no..."
"NO I CAN'T! Then they'd threaten to stop working for me! I don't PAY them remember?!" Koenma screamed and a knock at the door was hear.
"Come in!" he yelled.
Botan waltzed into his office, "Good morning Koenma-sir! You're looking quite handsome today! *wink*"
"What is it, Botan...I'm not in the mood for your silly banter!"
"Uh oh! Somebody got out of the wrong side of the crib this morning, didn't he? Hehehe."
"GRRRR GET OUT OF HERE! STOP CRACKING JOKES ABOUT MY REIKAI FORM! OUT OUT OUT!"
Botan gasped, "But Koenma! I came to ask you about a--"
"I know....A RAISE! For the MILLIONTH TIME NOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"FINE! BE THAT WAY YOU LITTLE BABY! I'M LEAVING!"
"Good!" Koenma huffed as Botan left the room, her nose in the air, "Maybe we'll get some peace around here for a change."
Wrong again, Koenma.
"Get out of my face you impudent human!" Hiei yelled as he rushed into Koenma's office.
"You say human like it's a bad thing, demon!" Kuwabara said in retaliation, hot on Hiei's trail.
"Get away from me, your smell is more than I can bear."
"HUH! When's the last time you've taken a bath, Shorty!"
"Idiot! My hygiene habits are none of your concern!"
"I KNEW IT! YOU DON'T BATHE!"
"I'm sick of you running your big mouth, stupid oaf." Hiei growled and unsheathed his katana.
Koenma was majorly sweatdropping.
"Oh yeah? Well I'm tired of looking at your ugly face!" Kuwabara formed his spirit sword and the two of them began circling around the office, weapons held out.
"Moron." said Hiei.
"Idiot." Kuwabara returned the sentiment.
"Ape!"
"Shrimp!"
"Imbecile."
"CRAZED MANIAC!"
"NUMBSKULLED NITWIT!"
"Why I oughta pound you into the ground!"
"I'd like to see you try, you weakling!"
"Oh I WILL try AND succeed, just watch me!"
Koenma couldn't take it anymore, "SHUT UP!!!!!!!" he yelled, using all of his lung capacity.
Kuwabara and Hiei put their weapons back and both sweatdropped.
"I KNOW you didn't come in here to give me a free show! STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR LEAVE!" Koenma ordered.
"ALRIGHT ALREADY! Looks like somebody got up on the--" Kuwabara was cut off.
"DON'T even THINK of finishing that sentence." Koenma warned him.
"Ok! Well, Hiei here tried to kidnap my beloved Jessi!" Kuwabara moaned, on the verge of tears.
"She deserves it." Hiei snapped, "Anyone foolish enough to love you should be tortured. Slowly and painfully..."
"But she's innocent!"
"Not in my book. She helped you write that stupid play about ME being COWARDLY."
"But you got all that sweet snow in return! Wasn't it worth it?" Kuwabara asked incredulously.
"NO! The networks loved your little show...that part of it anyway...and they've rerun the play almost as many times as 'Teapot-FreakBoy', which is my personal favorite."
"'Teapot-FreakBoy' is awesome!" Kuwabara agreed, "But that's beside the point! YOU TRIED TO HARM MY JESSI AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"
"ENOUGH YOU BUFFOONS! I'M SICK OF YOUR YAMMERING! I already have a bad enough headache." Koenma groaned.
"So, what are you going to do to punish Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.
"NOTHING!" the angry Koenma seethed.
Kuwabara was taken aback, "B-b-but he was trying to hurt a human!"
"I wasn't going to hurt her, only TORTURE her. *evil smirk*"
"YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW LOVE IF IT WHACKED YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD!"
"And you wouldn't know sanity if it slapped you in the face, you weak fool!"
"I HATE YOU HIEI!"
Hiei pulled out a tub of sweet snow and took a few bites. You could see him surge with electricity as the sugar went to his head, "AND I HATE YOU EVEN MORE YOU MENTALLY IMPAIRED OGRE!!!"
"HEY!" George the Ogre yelled from the side lines, "Ogres are people too." he pouted.
Koenma was at his last straw. He slammed his hands on the front of his desk, making both fighters jump:
"Listen here and listen good. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANY MORE OF YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS! Hiei, you're a fire demon! Can't you control yourself? So what if Kuwabara made you look stupid! IT'S OVER! And Kuwabara, I know you love your girlfriend, but YOU NEED TO WORK THESE PROBLEMS OUT FOR YOURSELF! I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS ANYMORE, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!!"
Kuwabara pouted and left with a last mournful glance.
"Mwa ha ha!" the sugar-high Hiei laughed and jumped out of the window.
"FINALLY!!!!!!" Koenma yelled, relieved, "Those two will NEVER get along. It's not my problem. At least Kurama hasn't asked me for help yet."
3, 2, 1...
"Hello Koenma!" Kurama said happily as he strode into the office.
Koenma face-faulted, "YOU! AAAAAGH!!!"
Kurama sweatdropped, "Was it something I said?"
Koenma regained composure, "No. What can I do for you today?"
"Well, since you mentioned it, I would rather like to hold my own revenge convention."
Koenma's eyes widened to the size of saucers, "NOOO!!! N-O AND THAT SPELLS NO! I AM NOT HELPING YOU!"
Kurama pouted, "Please? I'll tend your flower gardens for free!"
"DON'T YOU REMEMBER MY NEW PLEDGE?"
"No..."
"I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER going to help any member of the Spirit Detectives get revenge again!"
"I don't think it's fair, you helped everyone else!"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT KURAMA, NOW OUT!"
Kurama looked like he was going to cry and he flipped his hair and left the room.
"Well, at least Yusuke isn't in here bothering me today." Koenma said and then clapped a hand over his mouth, "Oh no..."
Yusuke strode in the room seconds later with his hair looking extra slick and a pair of ultra cool sunglasses on. He was wearing a leather jacket and sporting a choker with spikes and a chain hanging from his tight blue jeans.
"What up, yo!" Yusuke greeted the co-ruler of the Spirit World.
"Yusuke! What are you doing in that ridiculous getup?!" Koenma asked incredulously.
"I thought I'd change my image, whatta ya think?"
"I THINK NOT! You look even MORE like a punk now! I can't have my reputation ruined by having Spirit Detectives who look like THAT work for me!"
"Koenma I swear! You don't pay me for this stupid gig and yet you expect me to obey your every whim. WELL I'M TIRED OF IT! I'M THE HEAD SPIRIT DETECTIVE AND I WANT MORE RESPECT!"
Koenma slapped his hand on his forehead and let it drag down his face, (Maybe if I pretend I don't see him, he'll go away.) he thought hopefully.
Yusuke started tapping his foot, "I'm still here ya know!"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"UGH YOU ARE UNBEARABLE! Every member of the gang is mad at you, you know. Well you can add ME to the list now!"
"Yusuke..."
"Don't 'Yusuke' me! I'm blowing this popscicle stand! But before I go...could you--"
"WHATEVER IT IS NO A THOUSAND TIMES NO! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE TAKE A HINT?!" the ruler yelled at his head Spirit Detective and pointed towards the door, "Oooooouut!!!"
"Yes, Koenma-sir." Yusuke said sarcastically, mocking the way George always said it.
Koenma seethed with rage; he was being pushed over the edge and had no way to stop it! "I'm not going to sit around here all day and do nothing."
He thought for a moment and an evil smirk crossed his face behind his pacifier.
"I'm going to get my OWN REVENGE! All those morons deserve it! This time it's going to be my way.....MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
The crazed and now evil Koenma, out for revenge, rubbed his hands together as his brain began working at a million miles a minute; a plan so evil and fiendish coming into mind. "Oh yes, I WILL pay you back YOU STUPID SPIRIT DETECTIVES! MWAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!" Koenma laughed crazily with his head thrown back and his arms outstretched and lighting crashed in the background.
"Let the games begin..." he whispered and faded into the shadows.
* * *
Teen Koenma, wearing a lab coat, went into the secret lab of Spirit World. He kept files and a sample of DNA on all of his employees, should anything ever happen to them or he had to track them down. He walked slowly down the isles until he reached the one he was looking for.
With an evil gleam in his eye, and revenge in his heart, Koenma selected two jars of DNA that were directly next to each other. The Spirit Detectives would pay, oh yes they would!
He stalked over to a large object which was covered with a white sheet and ripped the sheet off. Lightning and thunder crashed outside and Koenma echoed it's sinisterness in his laugh. He opened one jar of DNA and placed it inside a tube. He threw a switch and a large jolt of electricity lit up the room.
The machine hummed loudly and Koenma went to open the large door on the other end after a minute or two.
Creaaakkk..., a humanoid form emerged out of the shadows of mist. And who's visage did Koenma behold?
None other than.......KURAMA!!! The first Kurama was followed out by three more Kuramas all looking completely confused.(And all completely clothed :p)
"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BWAA HA HA HA HA HA!" Koenma laughed, "They're ALIVEEEEEEE THEY'RE ALIVE!!!"
"Where am I?" one Kurama asked.
"How did I end up here?" another one mused.
"My mother will be worried if I'm not home for dinner." the third one said.
"Hmm, wasn't I supposed to meet up with Yusuke this afternoon?" wondered the last Kurama.
Koenma laughed again, "YES! I created the perfect clones! They are EXACT COPIES! EACH THAT THINK THEY'RE KURAMA!"
"I AM Kurama." all four replied at once.
"That's right, you are all Kurama. Now run along!"
"Yes, Koenma." they chanted.
Koenma could barely contain his glee as he emptied the contents of the second jar into the machine. It hummed once more and when the door opened this time out strode.....
FOUR HIEIS!!!
"OHHHHH YESSSS MUA HA HA! THEY'RE PERFECT!"
"Hn." one Hiei said.
"Hn." the second one echoed.
"Hn." the third returned the sentiment.
"Hn." the fourth Hiei also said.
Then all together now, "Hn." the Hieis said in unison.
"Toddler, set me free at once or die!" one Hiei growled and unsheathed his katana.
The other four followed suit and Koenma was shaking in his boots.
"Uh...right. That's right, run along and have some sweet snow."
"SWEET SNOW?" they all said excitedly.
"Yes, there's a whole world out there, now go have fun!"
The Hieis wasted no time in running out the room. Koenma cackled, it was time to put Plan #2 into action.
Dialing up a number on his Spirit-phone, it rang twice and a girl on the other end answered:
"Moshi moshi!"
"Greetings, Elizabethina, or should I say Thiny, this is Koenma."
"Hey Koenma, how are you doing?" the girl's voice asked on the other end.
"No time for chit-chat, Thiny, I have a special assignment for you."
Thiny often worked for Koenma as a Spirit Detective and he used her on more dangerous missions. Thiny was a half human half water demon with pupil-less, ice blue eyes and black hair. She wore it in a Sailor Moon-esque style, except her pigtails were shorter.
"Is it a mission?!" Thiny squealed, already excited at the prospect of a fight.
"Oh yes, a very SPECIAL mission."
"ALRIGHT! What is it this time? Slaying demons? Skydiving into enemy territory with micro-film?"
"No, but you're reallllly going to enjoy this mission."
"Koenma, the suspense is KILLING ME!"
"I want you to stalk Yusuke Urameshi."
"...." silence abounded on the other end of the line.
"Thiny? Thiny? Are you still there?"
"Uh...yes Koenma. Sorry, I just fainted for a moment...ehehe."
You see, Thiny had a crush on Yusuke, a BIG one. She was completely obsessed with Koenma's head Spirit Detective.
"So, will you do it?"
"DUH!!!"
"Suuuuuuper...MWA HA HA HA HA!"
"Koenma, you sound...evil..."
"Never mind that, Thiny. Your mission begins now. Aggravate Yusuke as much as possible; anything goes."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
It was Thiny's turn to laugh evilly, "MWA HA HA HA HA!" plans of getting Keiko out of the picture were already entering her mind.
"Good luck on your mission and have fun!" Koenma said.
"Oh I will Koenma.....I CERTAINLY WILL!"
Click. Both of them hung up and then Koenma dialed up another number; it was time to put his plans of revenge on Kuwabara and Botan into action.
Two rings and then an answer: "Word up!" Jessi's voice came on the line.
"Hey Jessi, it's Koenma."
"Koenma-sama! What a pleasure to hear from you."
"Indeed. Jessi, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight. Kuwabara and Botan will be there also, but don't tell them you're coming, I want it to be surprise."
"Sure thing Koenma, that sounds great!"
"Be here for 7 and dress up, ok?"
"Whatever you say! I'll see you later." Click. She hung up.
"BWA HA HA HA HA! But little does Jessi know that she's just fallen into my trap!" Koenma said to himself.
He made the phone calls to Botan and Kuwabara, telling them to arrive at 8 o'clock and not to tell Jessi because it was a surprise.
Then, he made another call.
* * *
Sugar-high Hiei flitted through the trees around town. He could already feel his sugar rush dying down and was frantic for more sweet snow. He had polished off a tub or two today, but that was not enough to quench his thirst for the treat.
A sign came into view 'Minimaganahitiriousaschlep's Ice Cream shop" it read in blue letters. It was famous for it's absurdly long name, and it's ice cream.
"Why doesn't the sign say 'sweet snow'!" Hiei growled, "Stupid humans!"
He rushed in like a madman and pulled out his katana.
A young girl was sitting on one of the stools eating a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone and her eyes widened.
(Could it be?) she thought to herself. Yes, it was! (That's Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho!)
Colleen never thought in a million years she'd meet her idol from Yu Yu Hakusho while at an ice cream shop. But secretly, she always wished it would happen this way. Colleen was 5'6" with straight brown hair that came just past her shoulders. She had blue eyes and a smattering of freckles across her cheeks. She took another lick from her ice cream cone and looked back to Hiei.
He was breathing heavily, but it didn't seem to be from exhaustion. A crazed look came into his eyes as he yelled:
"GIVE ME SWEET SNOW AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"
The manager of the shop ran out just then and shrieked, "Who are you?!"
Hiei ran up to her and pulled her up by the collar, letting her dangle in the air, "I am Hiei, give me sweet snow or die."
"S-s-ure, Hiei. But you'll have to tell me, What is sweet snow?"
"What you humans foolishly call 'ice cream' NOW GIVE IT!"
She took out the largest bowl they had in the store and starting scooping ice cream into it. She must've put 40+ scoops into the bowl, it was piled so high. She drizzled on chocolate syrup, then sprinkled nuts on and topped it with whipped cream. As a finale, she placed a ripe jubilee cherry on top.
Hiei was drooling in anticipation as she set the giant bowl down in front of him. He grabbed two spoons and starting shoveling the ice cream into his mouth as fast as he could.
Meanwhile, Colleen had inched her way over to him. She was sitting right next to him and smiled at the fire demon. She decided to break the ice:
"Hi, Hiei."
"Hn?!" Hiei momentarily stopped gorging on ice cream and whipped his head to the side to see who DARED to speak to him while he was eating. "Who are you?"
"I'm Colleen, a fan of yours."
He inched back a bit, "Are you one of those crazed fangirls?!" his eyes betrayed fear.
Colleen held her hands up and sweatdropped, "No no no no, just a fan!"
"Hn."
"So, do you come here often?"
"Foolish girl, I am trying to eat, why do you bother me." he kept shoving sweet snow in his mouth.
(Awww, he's so cute!) she thought to herself then said, "I think you're really cool!"
"A FIRE demon? Cool? Absurd."
Colleen laughed, "No silly, 'cool' is a slang term. Meaning that you're an interesting person."
"I am not a person, I am a demon. And I don't care for your foolish slang."
(Yum! What an attitude!) Colleen liked Hiei even more now, his bad attitude was irresistible!
"Well, each to his own. So Hiei, what are you planning on doing for the rest of the day?"
"As if it's any of your business." He said with a final gulp of ice cream. He pushed the bowl away from him and got up.
"Where are you going?" Colleen asked when he started walking away, "Hey! Hiei! Don't leave.."
"Why do you care if I stay or go?" Hiei asked, wondering why he didn't kill this human on sight for all her annoyance.
"Um.." she bit her lip, "I just do?"
"Humans.." Hiei muttered.
* * *
"Dun, dun dun dunt! Dun dun dun, dun dun dunt! Da da da da!" Thiny 'sang' the secret agent music to herself as she crept up slowly to the Urameshi residence.
(Oh yes Yusuke, you will be mine!) she thought excitedly. The half water demon swung upsidedown in front of Yusuke's bedroom window, careful not to be seen.
Yusuke was laying on his bed reading a comic book.
"Yusuke..." Thiny drooled as she watched him.
"Huh?" Yusuke's keen sense picked up another person nearby and he was instantly on guard. "Oh great, here we go, I bet another demon is on my tail." Yusuke whined and then stood up. He noticed a slight movement at the window and rushed over and threw it open.
"Hee hee hee..." Thiny was seen swinging back and forth like a pendulum and she pulled out a small camera and took pictures of Yusuke.
"GAH! What are you doing?! This is MY house!" Yusuke yelled at the intruder.
"I know, that's why I'm here!"
"So, are you going to try and kill me now?"
Horror crossed the girl's face, "NEVER! I LOOOOVE YOU YUSUKE!!!" She swung into his bedroom via the newly opened window and landed into the Spirit Detective's arms. Then she threw her own arms around his neck and grinned at him.
"What's the big idea?!" Yusuke retaliated, "I have a girlfriend!"
"Keiko? I would hardly call her a girlfriend. All she does is slap you and call you a jerk. Some girlfriend she is. You need someone better....someone like....me!"
"GAH! You're freaking me ouuuuttt...I don't even know who you are!"
"I'm Thiny!" she replied, jumping out of his arms, "And you, Yusuke Urameshi, are the hottest thing on the planet! BE MINE!" she enveloped him in a huge hug, enough for his eyes to bulge.
"I'm flattered, Thiny, but like I said, I have a girlfriend."
"Phhstt BLAH BLAH BLAH! You're too good for her!"
Yusuke sweatdropped majorly, "Um...I'm having a hard time breathing...."
"What's that? You loooooveeeee me??? OH YUSUKE I AM SO HAPPY! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING!" she screamed as loud as possible and kept him in her tight grasp.
Seconds later, Keiko Yukimora burst into Yusuke's room and covered her mouth in a large gasp at what she saw. She starting shaking with rage and clenched her fists at her sides.
"Yusuke....you...JERK!!!! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Keiko had managed to slap only Yusuke even though Thiny had her arms around him, "I can't believe I ever trusted you or liked you! WE'RE THROUGH YUSUKE DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!!"
"Keiko, wait!" he choked out, but it was too late, the angry girl had already left to drown her sorrows in root beer.
"Good riddance!" Thiny chimed in, "Now you can have a girlfriend who appreciates you....like me!"
"Oh brother...Well, now that Keiko's gone, ya wanna hang out?"
Thiny gasped, "Do you mean it?"
Yusuke shrugged, "Sure, why not."
"WHEEEEE!!!!! YUSUKE IS MINE ALL MINE!" she hugged him again.
"Can't...breathe..."
* * *
Hot tears streamed down Keiko's face as she walked down the streets alone. Yusuke was such a jerk! She didn't need him! (I'm better off without him. Mom and Dad never liked him much anyways.) she thought, trying to make herself feel better.
She wiped her eyes dry and took a deep breath. Today was the first day of the rest of her life and she wasn't going to waste it! Keiko decided to head to the park to see if there was any wildlife there today. She passed through the trees, searching for squirrels.
No squirrels, but she did hear a loud scraping sound coming from near by. Curiosity got the best of her, and Keiko followed the sound until she came to a clearing. A young boy of about 13 was sharpening two oak branches.
The boy had light blue hair and turquoise eyes. He was wearing a cubs visor with a dragon shirt and cutoff jeans. He looked up just then and a smile crossed his face. "Hello!!! How are you doing?" he asked her happily.
Keiko was surprised that he addressed her right off the bat, but decided to talk to him, "Not so hot, how about you?"
"I'm doing fine, but what's wrong?" he asked her as he saw Keiko's face fall, "By the way, I'm Fuzzy Demon."
Keiko smiled slightly, "Nice name, I'm Keiko."
"Well Keiko, you look down. Do you want to talk about it?" Fuzzy Demon asked her.
"Sure...I do need someone to talk to. I just broke up with my boyfriend that I've known since we were kids."
"Wow...I'm really sorry to hear that."
"It's ok, it was for the best."
"If you say so."
Keiko watched him as he sharpened the pieces of wood, "What are those for?"
"Oh these? These are my weapons, I have to keep them sharp. They turn into indescructible katanas in battle."
"Oh wow...are you a Spirit Detective?"
"Not really, but I do fight demons, I happen to be one myself. I'm a kitsune."
"Heh, that explains your name. Me, I'm just a plain old human." Keiko replied.
Fuzzy Demon grinned, "There's nothing wrong with that."
Keiko smiled back.
"Say Keiko, how would you like to go see a movie or something?" FuzzyD asked her.
"Well...I mean it's so soon and all..."
"No no, just to hang out! You look like you could use a good friend about now."
"That's true. Ok, Fuzzy Demon, that sounds like fun!"
* * *
"GEORGE!!! Where's my silver tablecloth?!" Koenma yelled to his assistant who rushed in frantically holding the desired item, "Gooooood this'll look perfect!" he exclaimed as he slung it over the long table. "We only have a few minutes left before she gets here, NOW HUSTLE!"
"Yes, Koenma-sir!" the frantic Ogre answered.
A few minutes later:
DING DONG!
"She's here! How do I look, George?" the dressed up Koenma asked. He was wearing a navy blue suit with an ascot instead of a tie and a pair of gold and mother of pearl cufflinks. He brushed himself off and turned around for his assistant to see.
"You look fabulous, Koenma-sir!"
"Thank you." he straightened his pacifier, which he had polished, and went to answer the door.
Koenma opened it cordially and welcomed his guest, "Jessi! Welcome to my palace. The other's haven't arrived yet, why don't we go sit down in the den while we wait for dinner?"
Jessi smiled, "Koenma, you look great!"
"Why thank you, I always try to look good for my guests. And might I say you look ravishing yourself."
Jessi blushed slightly, "You flatter me."
"Of course, with a lady so lovely as yourself, what else can I do?" Koenma was turning on the charm big time; all a part of his revenge plans.
Jessi was wearing a royal purple colored gown, that reached just below her ankles and was trimmed in silver ribbon. She wore her hair pulled back with a silver barrette on one side and her open-toed strapped shoes matched perfectly with her ensemble.
Koenma offered her his arm and escorted her to the den where they sat on a small sofa.
"So Koenma, when do you expect the others will arrive?" Jessi asked.
"Ah with Botan, who knows. She's always late and I can't really say about Kuwabara. He might have gotten attacked or something." Koenma answered.
"*gasp* Don't even say that! I hope Kazuma's ok."
"Ah, I assure you, he'll be fine."
George, decked out in a black tux, came in that moment and bowed, "Dinner is served."
"Come, let us dine!" Koenma exclaimed and offered Jessi his arm again.
They sat down at the exquisite table with Koenma's special silver tablecloth. He was seated at the head, and Jessi directly on his right. The plates and dinnerware were made of pure gold and there was a large chandelier hanging over the table, it's soft light dancing over the room.
"My, this certainly is a romantic atmosphere." Jessi observed.
Koenma lit a few candles to complete the effect, "I do like my romantic settings." he answered.
"Hehe, yeah. So, when did you and Botan start dating? I never heard anything about it."
"What? Oh no, we're not dating. In fact, I have my eye on someone else." he winked.
"Really now..." Jessi said a bit suspiciously.
They kept up light conversation throughout dinner and ate until they were full.
"Well well, those two are extremely late, they've already missed dinner!" Koenma said in a mournful tone, "No matter now, what would you say to some after dinner music, Jessi?"
"That sounds really nice."
"I'm glad you approve." he clapped twice and soft rock began playing on Koenma's surround sound stereo system.
They listened in silence for a few minutes until 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion came on.
"I love this song." Jessi said with a sigh.
"Me too, would you care to dance?" Koenma stood and held out his hand to her. He glanced over at the clock, it was nearly 8. (Perfect...) he thought.
"Well...um..sure!" Jessi took his hand and he led her out onto the dance floor that was also in the room.
~Every night in my dreams I see you I feel you...~
Koenma put his hands on Jessi's waist and she put her arms around his neck. They rocked back and forth to the music for a while and Jessi was surprised when Koenma pulled her closer.
~That is how I know you go on...~ (A/N: Don't worry, this isn't a song fic!)
"Jessi..." he whispered into her hair.
"Um..Koenma? Don't you think this is a bit close?"
"Nonsense. I like being close to you."
~Near, far, wherever you are...~
"But this close? I do have a boyfriend you know..." she gulped loudly.
Koenma didn't say anything else, he only pulled her closer. They were dancing very slowly now and Koenma appeared to be enjoying himself very much.
Unknown to Jessi, (but Koenma knew) two figures came into the room at that moment.
~I believe that the heart does go on...~
Kuwabara's eyes widened, there was Jessi, HIS Jessi, dancing romantically with Koenma! A giant pang hit his heart and he cried out: "JESSI!!!!"
It was Jessi's eyes turn to widen as she instantly let go of Koenma, not seeing his evil smirk when she turned away. "Kazuma!"
Tears began running down Kuwabara's cheeks, he felt so betrayed, "How? How could you do this to me?"
"No! This isn't what it looks like! Kuwabara please..." Jessi's eyes misted over.
"Don't 'Kuwabara please' me! I can't believe this...!!!!!" he couldn't take anymore and ran out of the room crying.
"KAZUMA!!!!!" Jessi fell to her knees and reached out a hand as she watched him go. She then looked over at Koenma who was smiling like a cheshire cat, and it dawned on her. He had planned it, HE PLANNED IT ALL! That lousy, no good, stinking son of an Enma! He would pay...
Meanwhile, Botan was abhored at the sight. Both upset because she thought Koenma liked Jessi, and because she thought Jessi liked Koenma back and felt bad for Kuwabara. But the next few seconds cleared that up. Koenma's grin gave him away.
"KOENMA YOU JERK!!!!!" Botan whacked him with her oar several times.
Jessi began beating on him with her fists, "GRRRR I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! HOW COULD YOU! YOU'RE EVIL EVIL EVIL NOT NOT NICE!!!!" she screamed.
And so, Koenma got tortured even during his own revenge, but he told himself it was worth it and grinned and bore it. (It gets even better after this.) He thought and grinned whilst getting beaten even more by the angry girls.
"That's it! I'm going to find him and apologize!" Jessi cried passionately, "You're a cruel man, Koenma." she sneered and then ran out of the room, her heels clicking rapidly.
Meanwhile, several rooms down:
Kazuma Kuwabara ran into a room and threw himself down on the well-cushioned sofa. He cried for a few minutes then wiped his eyes and rested his chin on his arms. (Why Jessi...why? I thought we were so happy together.) *sniff*
"You look terrible, what happened, Kazuma-kun?" an unfamiliar voice rang out of nowhere into the room.
Kuwabara jerked his head up and saw a young girl of about sixteen sitting across from him on another sofa. She looked about 5'5 1/2" tall with long curly brown hair, similar to Jessi's, and dark brown eyes.
"Aagh! I didn't know there was anybody in this room! I must look like an idiot..." Kuwabara trailed off and then looked up at her again, "Wait...how do you know my name?!"
The girl chuckled, "I'm Mei, and I know more than you think, Kuwabara. Don't worry, it's ok to cry."
He wiped his eyes, "Uh thanks I guess, but that still doesn't explain how you know me."
"I'm one of your fans of course, silly!" She got up and sat down next to him and patted him on the back, "So, why don't you tell me what's bothering you."
"Well, you see...it's my girlfriend, Jessi. Koenma invited us to a special dinner and told us not to tell Jessi we were coming and when I got there, she was dancing with him romantically! It ripped my heart out..."
"Ohh Kazuma-kun, I'm so sorry..." she knelt next to him and hugged him in a comforting guesture.
Just then, Jessi walked into the room calling his name and what sight greeted her? Another woman hugging her boyfriend!
"KAZUMA!!!" she cried out and he whipped his head around.
"Jessi! No! It's not what you think!"
"HOW DARE YOU! I CAME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU BECAUSE KOENMA SET THE WHOLE THING UP AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING?! It's very clear which one of us is doing wrong!"
"He, he did?" Kuwabara choked out.
A young man walked in just then, you might know him as Ken Hidaka from Weiss Kruez.
"MEI!!!" yelled out the brown-eyed brunette, as he saw his beloved girlfriend wrapped in the arms of another. He put a hand to his goggled forehead and moaned, "How could you do this to me!"
Mei instantly let go of Kuwabara and stood up, "Ken, no!!! KEN-CHAN! I'm not...not doing what you think!"
"Mei, I can't believe this..." a tear slipped down from his eye.
Mei glomped him but Ken stayed rigid. "Please Ken, you have to listen to me!"
Jessi burst into tears and Ken brushed Mei off of him. Ken started walking out and Jessi said, "I'm going with you! Our significant others are obviously cheaters!"
"I agree with you Miss, I'm Ken by the way."
"I'm Jessi, nice to meet you although it would've been nicer under different circumstances."
With a last mournful glance, Jessi and Ken walked out of the room their arms folded and tears wetting their cheeks.
"Wonderful..." Kuwabara trailed off and smacked his hand on his forehead.
"We're in this together, Kazuma-kun." Mei agreed and they both began plans to win back their loves.
* * *
Shiuiichi Minamino, aka Kurama, was walking home on his way back from the library. He brushed a hand past his gorgeous red hair and saw something flash out of the corner of his eyes. He saw three more flashes after it and he swore he could sense Hiei on the wind. But there wasn't only one Hiei. There were four.
"Strange..." he mused to himself then shrugged, he'd talk to Hiei about it later.
Kurama kept on walking and was so deep in thought that he didn't see where he was going and collided with an oncoming object.
Kurama stayed standing while the other person fell down onto the ground: "HEY! Watch where you're go...ing..." the person he ran into trailed off and stopped, "Umm...hi.."
Kurama looked down to see a young girl with long dark brown hair in a ponytail. She was dressed simply in shorts and a t-shirt and was wearing sandals.
"I'm so sorry," Kurama held out his hand to help her up, "I wasn't watching where I was going. I'm Kurama."
She blushed as he helped her up and murmured, "I know..."
Kurama was surprised, "You know me? How?"
"Well, it's a long story. I'm Angel, it's great to see you."
"Angel, the pleasure is all mine." he smiled and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.
Angel blushed even more.
"Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me? I'd really like to know more about you." Kurama asked her kindly.
"Sure." Angel said and they walked together to the nearest coffee shop.
Inside, they sat down and Kurama ordered two regular coffees, when they arrived Angel started sipping hers and Kurama smiled over at her. "So Angel, tell me a little about yourself."
She nodded, "I'm part mimic demon, the other part of me is human. I can see an attack once and mimic it perfectly but from then on I have to say my name in front of the attack. There's a part of my past that has to do with you too, Kurama. You see, I'm from an alternate dimension that was destroyed...." she looked down, "I found myself in a vortex and came out here in this world so like the one I knew. I knew you and the other Spirit Detectives there. You and I were...together..." she trailed off.
Kurama reached his hand over and put it on Angel's hand in a comforting guesture, "I'm sorry to hear about your dimension. I'm glad that you're ok though. Somehow, I feel like I've known you forever."
She smiled up at him, "Thank you, Kurama. You're wonderful."
A slight blush tinged his cheeks and the two of them stayed at the coffee house talking until after the sun went down.
* * *
"Ohhhhh there was a Queen who had a King and Hiei was his name oh! H-I-E-I YAY! H-I-E-I YAY! H-I-E-I YAY! And Hiei was his nammmeeee ohhh!!!! Thank you thank you, you've been a wonderful audience!!!" Dragon Queen bowed to no one in particular as she was on her way to the sweet snow parlor.
She whipped out a mirror and studied her reflection admiringly. DQ was 5'1" with dark dark dark brown eyes that were almost black and long black hair. She wore a crown on her head and straightened it up then put the mirror away. "Ah yes, I look lovely as usual! I might run into Hiei so I have to look my best!"
She continued along and whistled when she saw a flash of light. She pulled out her compact mirror again and flashed it at the unknown object. "He he he! Time for torture!" she said with delight.
Her newest victim was blinded and kneeling on the ground and DQ walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. She pulled out a lighter and lit the flame menacingly, "Fear me--HIEI?!"
Dragon Queen almost fainted when she saw her most beloved idol and guy she had a crush on right in front of her. You see, the Hieis Koenma created were all desparately trying to find sweet snow. This Hiei was no exception.
"What are you doing, girl!" the Hiei which was an exact duplicate of the original in every way, grabbed the lighter out of her hand.
"OMG YOU'RE HIEI!" she glomped him.
"Of course I am, now let me go, foolish human!"
"NEVER!!!! I'M DRAGON QUEEN AND YOU'RE MY KING! KISS ME YOU FOOL!"
"Hn?! I don't have time for this insanity, I am searching for sweet snow, now let go before I force you."
"Oh Hiei...I love it when you sweet-talk me!"
"Sweeeeet snow..." the mention of the word sweet sent him into a frenzy.
"Sweet snow?" DQ asked, "Oh yes! I was just on my way to a sweet snow parlor, wanna come?"
"You will bring me to this place with sweet snow. Now."
"Course my silly little bishi!" she grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the street in the other direction, "Sing with me now!!! HIEI ROCKS OH YES HE DOES AND I'M HIS DRAGON QUEEN LIKE HE SAID I WAS!" she half screamed/half sang a little song she made up at the spur of the moment.
"I did not say you were my Queen."
"Ohhh yes you did!"
"No, I did NOT."
"Hiei, you're breaking me heart! IF YOU DON'T STOP I SWEAR I'LL BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!!!"
Hiei rolled his eyes, all three of them, "Spare me."
DQ stopped suddenly and clasped a hand to her heart, "That's it! Now you've done it! I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!! OH WOE IS ME MY WORLD IS CRASHING DOWN AND SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME---"
"ENOUGH! Hurry up, I need sweet snow. Let's go, you can be my stupid queen, ok?"
"I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!!" she yelled as she glomped Hiei, "Oh Hiei my love! Let's get married and live happily ever after!"
"Hn..." he sighed.
"Ooh ooh! I know!" DQ had an idea, "After we get sweet snow, let's go get our pictures taken! Then we can get them put into little keychains and on t-shirts and on cell phone covers and we can get cell phones and call each other all the time and even when we're standing next to each other and we'll be so happy you and meeeee!!!!"
Hiei slapped a hand to his forehead, this human was driving him crazy! Although he had to admit, she was starting to grow on him. "Come on." he grabbed her hand whilst she kept on talking and dragged DQ all the way to the sweet snow parlor.
* * *
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
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Yep! Koenma's revenge is too long to put into one chapter! The fun and madness will continue next time on part two. As you can see, people are pairing up!
NEXT TIME ON TALES OF REVENGE AND SWEET SNOW: Koenma's revenge continues! Will Koenma finally be happy with torturing the Spirit Detectives? Will Thiny and Yusuke get together? Will Kuwabara and Jessi make up? Will Mei and Ken make up? And what will happen when Hiei and Kurama find out they've been cloned? STAY TUNED!!!!!!
"StOp ThE iNsAnItY: Koenma's Revenge--Part I"
Written by: Jesscheaux
Disclaimer: I did not invent, nor do I own, Yu Yu Hakusho or any of the characters. I do own Jessi thought, because she is me! I also do not own the authors that I am using in this fic they own themselves!
Author's Notes: Back by popular demand, THE REVENGE SERIES! "Tales of Revenge and Sweet Snow" was the first title I thought of for it and it stuck! This picks up a little while after the third largest installment of the Revenge Series, "The Bashing Must Cease: Kuwabara's Revenge." Koenma is sick and tired of helping our Spirit Detectives get revenge on each other one after the other. He's been pushed over the edge. A crazed Koenma goes to great lengths to get his OWN revenge on the Reikai Tantei. Stay tuned for fun and madness!
________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Lord Koenma banged his head against his desk for about the millionth time that day. He was developing a lump over that cute tattoo on his forehead, but he really didn't care. After a few more bangs he held his head in his hands and fell over in his chair.
"Whyyyyy do I dooo thiss!!!" he moaned to no-one in particular.
"Are you ok, Koenma-sir?" his assistant George asked worriedly.
"Does it LOOK like I'm ok?"
"Well, no..."
"OF COURSE I'M NOT OK!!! Those four idiot Spirit Detectives are driving me up the wall, not to mention Botan constantly asking for a raise! I can't take the pressure anymore, George! I think I'm going to EXPLODE!"
"Perhaps a rice-ball would make you feel better?"
"Is is strawberry flavored?" Koenma asked eagerly.
"Yes, your favorite!" George set a plate in front of Koenma who immediately scarfed the rice balls down.
"That sure hit the spot."
"You're welcome, sir."
"But I still feel rotten! GRRRR I HATE HELPING EVERYBODY!"
"You could always say no..."
"NO I CAN'T! Then they'd threaten to stop working for me! I don't PAY them remember?!" Koenma screamed and a knock at the door was hear.
"Come in!" he yelled.
Botan waltzed into his office, "Good morning Koenma-sir! You're looking quite handsome today! *wink*"
"What is it, Botan...I'm not in the mood for your silly banter!"
"Uh oh! Somebody got out of the wrong side of the crib this morning, didn't he? Hehehe."
"GRRRR GET OUT OF HERE! STOP CRACKING JOKES ABOUT MY REIKAI FORM! OUT OUT OUT!"
Botan gasped, "But Koenma! I came to ask you about a--"
"I know....A RAISE! For the MILLIONTH TIME NOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"FINE! BE THAT WAY YOU LITTLE BABY! I'M LEAVING!"
"Good!" Koenma huffed as Botan left the room, her nose in the air, "Maybe we'll get some peace around here for a change."
Wrong again, Koenma.
"Get out of my face you impudent human!" Hiei yelled as he rushed into Koenma's office.
"You say human like it's a bad thing, demon!" Kuwabara said in retaliation, hot on Hiei's trail.
"Get away from me, your smell is more than I can bear."
"HUH! When's the last time you've taken a bath, Shorty!"
"Idiot! My hygiene habits are none of your concern!"
"I KNEW IT! YOU DON'T BATHE!"
"I'm sick of you running your big mouth, stupid oaf." Hiei growled and unsheathed his katana.
Koenma was majorly sweatdropping.
"Oh yeah? Well I'm tired of looking at your ugly face!" Kuwabara formed his spirit sword and the two of them began circling around the office, weapons held out.
"Moron." said Hiei.
"Idiot." Kuwabara returned the sentiment.
"Ape!"
"Shrimp!"
"Imbecile."
"CRAZED MANIAC!"
"NUMBSKULLED NITWIT!"
"Why I oughta pound you into the ground!"
"I'd like to see you try, you weakling!"
"Oh I WILL try AND succeed, just watch me!"
Koenma couldn't take it anymore, "SHUT UP!!!!!!!" he yelled, using all of his lung capacity.
Kuwabara and Hiei put their weapons back and both sweatdropped.
"I KNOW you didn't come in here to give me a free show! STATE YOUR BUSINESS OR LEAVE!" Koenma ordered.
"ALRIGHT ALREADY! Looks like somebody got up on the--" Kuwabara was cut off.
"DON'T even THINK of finishing that sentence." Koenma warned him.
"Ok! Well, Hiei here tried to kidnap my beloved Jessi!" Kuwabara moaned, on the verge of tears.
"She deserves it." Hiei snapped, "Anyone foolish enough to love you should be tortured. Slowly and painfully..."
"But she's innocent!"
"Not in my book. She helped you write that stupid play about ME being COWARDLY."
"But you got all that sweet snow in return! Wasn't it worth it?" Kuwabara asked incredulously.
"NO! The networks loved your little show...that part of it anyway...and they've rerun the play almost as many times as 'Teapot-FreakBoy', which is my personal favorite."
"'Teapot-FreakBoy' is awesome!" Kuwabara agreed, "But that's beside the point! YOU TRIED TO HARM MY JESSI AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"
"ENOUGH YOU BUFFOONS! I'M SICK OF YOUR YAMMERING! I already have a bad enough headache." Koenma groaned.
"So, what are you going to do to punish Hiei?" Kuwabara asked.
"NOTHING!" the angry Koenma seethed.
Kuwabara was taken aback, "B-b-but he was trying to hurt a human!"
"I wasn't going to hurt her, only TORTURE her. *evil smirk*"
"YOU HEARTLESS MONSTER! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW LOVE IF IT WHACKED YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD!"
"And you wouldn't know sanity if it slapped you in the face, you weak fool!"
"I HATE YOU HIEI!"
Hiei pulled out a tub of sweet snow and took a few bites. You could see him surge with electricity as the sugar went to his head, "AND I HATE YOU EVEN MORE YOU MENTALLY IMPAIRED OGRE!!!"
"HEY!" George the Ogre yelled from the side lines, "Ogres are people too." he pouted.
Koenma was at his last straw. He slammed his hands on the front of his desk, making both fighters jump:
"Listen here and listen good. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANY MORE OF YOUR STUPID PROBLEMS! Hiei, you're a fire demon! Can't you control yourself? So what if Kuwabara made you look stupid! IT'S OVER! And Kuwabara, I know you love your girlfriend, but YOU NEED TO WORK THESE PROBLEMS OUT FOR YOURSELF! I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS ANYMORE, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!!!"
Kuwabara pouted and left with a last mournful glance.
"Mwa ha ha!" the sugar-high Hiei laughed and jumped out of the window.
"FINALLY!!!!!!" Koenma yelled, relieved, "Those two will NEVER get along. It's not my problem. At least Kurama hasn't asked me for help yet."
3, 2, 1...
"Hello Koenma!" Kurama said happily as he strode into the office.
Koenma face-faulted, "YOU! AAAAAGH!!!"
Kurama sweatdropped, "Was it something I said?"
Koenma regained composure, "No. What can I do for you today?"
"Well, since you mentioned it, I would rather like to hold my own revenge convention."
Koenma's eyes widened to the size of saucers, "NOOO!!! N-O AND THAT SPELLS NO! I AM NOT HELPING YOU!"
Kurama pouted, "Please? I'll tend your flower gardens for free!"
"DON'T YOU REMEMBER MY NEW PLEDGE?"
"No..."
"I am NEVER, and I repeat, NEVER going to help any member of the Spirit Detectives get revenge again!"
"I don't think it's fair, you helped everyone else!"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT KURAMA, NOW OUT!"
Kurama looked like he was going to cry and he flipped his hair and left the room.
"Well, at least Yusuke isn't in here bothering me today." Koenma said and then clapped a hand over his mouth, "Oh no..."
Yusuke strode in the room seconds later with his hair looking extra slick and a pair of ultra cool sunglasses on. He was wearing a leather jacket and sporting a choker with spikes and a chain hanging from his tight blue jeans.
"What up, yo!" Yusuke greeted the co-ruler of the Spirit World.
"Yusuke! What are you doing in that ridiculous getup?!" Koenma asked incredulously.
"I thought I'd change my image, whatta ya think?"
"I THINK NOT! You look even MORE like a punk now! I can't have my reputation ruined by having Spirit Detectives who look like THAT work for me!"
"Koenma I swear! You don't pay me for this stupid gig and yet you expect me to obey your every whim. WELL I'M TIRED OF IT! I'M THE HEAD SPIRIT DETECTIVE AND I WANT MORE RESPECT!"
Koenma slapped his hand on his forehead and let it drag down his face, (Maybe if I pretend I don't see him, he'll go away.) he thought hopefully.
Yusuke started tapping his foot, "I'm still here ya know!"
"Unfortunately, yes."
"UGH YOU ARE UNBEARABLE! Every member of the gang is mad at you, you know. Well you can add ME to the list now!"
"Yusuke..."
"Don't 'Yusuke' me! I'm blowing this popscicle stand! But before I go...could you--"
"WHATEVER IT IS NO A THOUSAND TIMES NO! CAN'T YOU PEOPLE TAKE A HINT?!" the ruler yelled at his head Spirit Detective and pointed towards the door, "Oooooouut!!!"
"Yes, Koenma-sir." Yusuke said sarcastically, mocking the way George always said it.
Koenma seethed with rage; he was being pushed over the edge and had no way to stop it! "I'm not going to sit around here all day and do nothing."
He thought for a moment and an evil smirk crossed his face behind his pacifier.
"I'm going to get my OWN REVENGE! All those morons deserve it! This time it's going to be my way.....MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!"
The crazed and now evil Koenma, out for revenge, rubbed his hands together as his brain began working at a million miles a minute; a plan so evil and fiendish coming into mind. "Oh yes, I WILL pay you back YOU STUPID SPIRIT DETECTIVES! MWAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAA!!!" Koenma laughed crazily with his head thrown back and his arms outstretched and lighting crashed in the background.
"Let the games begin..." he whispered and faded into the shadows.
* * *
Teen Koenma, wearing a lab coat, went into the secret lab of Spirit World. He kept files and a sample of DNA on all of his employees, should anything ever happen to them or he had to track them down. He walked slowly down the isles until he reached the one he was looking for.
With an evil gleam in his eye, and revenge in his heart, Koenma selected two jars of DNA that were directly next to each other. The Spirit Detectives would pay, oh yes they would!
He stalked over to a large object which was covered with a white sheet and ripped the sheet off. Lightning and thunder crashed outside and Koenma echoed it's sinisterness in his laugh. He opened one jar of DNA and placed it inside a tube. He threw a switch and a large jolt of electricity lit up the room.
The machine hummed loudly and Koenma went to open the large door on the other end after a minute or two.
Creaaakkk..., a humanoid form emerged out of the shadows of mist. And who's visage did Koenma behold?
None other than.......KURAMA!!! The first Kurama was followed out by three more Kuramas all looking completely confused.(And all completely clothed :p)
"MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! BWAA HA HA HA HA HA!" Koenma laughed, "They're ALIVEEEEEEE THEY'RE ALIVE!!!"
"Where am I?" one Kurama asked.
"How did I end up here?" another one mused.
"My mother will be worried if I'm not home for dinner." the third one said.
"Hmm, wasn't I supposed to meet up with Yusuke this afternoon?" wondered the last Kurama.
Koenma laughed again, "YES! I created the perfect clones! They are EXACT COPIES! EACH THAT THINK THEY'RE KURAMA!"
"I AM Kurama." all four replied at once.
"That's right, you are all Kurama. Now run along!"
"Yes, Koenma." they chanted.
Koenma could barely contain his glee as he emptied the contents of the second jar into the machine. It hummed once more and when the door opened this time out strode.....
FOUR HIEIS!!!
"OHHHHH YESSSS MUA HA HA! THEY'RE PERFECT!"
"Hn." one Hiei said.
"Hn." the second one echoed.
"Hn." the third returned the sentiment.
"Hn." the fourth Hiei also said.
Then all together now, "Hn." the Hieis said in unison.
"Toddler, set me free at once or die!" one Hiei growled and unsheathed his katana.
The other four followed suit and Koenma was shaking in his boots.
"Uh...right. That's right, run along and have some sweet snow."
"SWEET SNOW?" they all said excitedly.
"Yes, there's a whole world out there, now go have fun!"
The Hieis wasted no time in running out the room. Koenma cackled, it was time to put Plan #2 into action.
Dialing up a number on his Spirit-phone, it rang twice and a girl on the other end answered:
"Moshi moshi!"
"Greetings, Elizabethina, or should I say Thiny, this is Koenma."
"Hey Koenma, how are you doing?" the girl's voice asked on the other end.
"No time for chit-chat, Thiny, I have a special assignment for you."
Thiny often worked for Koenma as a Spirit Detective and he used her on more dangerous missions. Thiny was a half human half water demon with pupil-less, ice blue eyes and black hair. She wore it in a Sailor Moon-esque style, except her pigtails were shorter.
"Is it a mission?!" Thiny squealed, already excited at the prospect of a fight.
"Oh yes, a very SPECIAL mission."
"ALRIGHT! What is it this time? Slaying demons? Skydiving into enemy territory with micro-film?"
"No, but you're reallllly going to enjoy this mission."
"Koenma, the suspense is KILLING ME!"
"I want you to stalk Yusuke Urameshi."
"...." silence abounded on the other end of the line.
"Thiny? Thiny? Are you still there?"
"Uh...yes Koenma. Sorry, I just fainted for a moment...ehehe."
You see, Thiny had a crush on Yusuke, a BIG one. She was completely obsessed with Koenma's head Spirit Detective.
"So, will you do it?"
"DUH!!!"
"Suuuuuuper...MWA HA HA HA HA!"
"Koenma, you sound...evil..."
"Never mind that, Thiny. Your mission begins now. Aggravate Yusuke as much as possible; anything goes."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
It was Thiny's turn to laugh evilly, "MWA HA HA HA HA!" plans of getting Keiko out of the picture were already entering her mind.
"Good luck on your mission and have fun!" Koenma said.
"Oh I will Koenma.....I CERTAINLY WILL!"
Click. Both of them hung up and then Koenma dialed up another number; it was time to put his plans of revenge on Kuwabara and Botan into action.
Two rings and then an answer: "Word up!" Jessi's voice came on the line.
"Hey Jessi, it's Koenma."
"Koenma-sama! What a pleasure to hear from you."
"Indeed. Jessi, I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight. Kuwabara and Botan will be there also, but don't tell them you're coming, I want it to be surprise."
"Sure thing Koenma, that sounds great!"
"Be here for 7 and dress up, ok?"
"Whatever you say! I'll see you later." Click. She hung up.
"BWA HA HA HA HA! But little does Jessi know that she's just fallen into my trap!" Koenma said to himself.
He made the phone calls to Botan and Kuwabara, telling them to arrive at 8 o'clock and not to tell Jessi because it was a surprise.
Then, he made another call.
* * *
Sugar-high Hiei flitted through the trees around town. He could already feel his sugar rush dying down and was frantic for more sweet snow. He had polished off a tub or two today, but that was not enough to quench his thirst for the treat.
A sign came into view 'Minimaganahitiriousaschlep's Ice Cream shop" it read in blue letters. It was famous for it's absurdly long name, and it's ice cream.
"Why doesn't the sign say 'sweet snow'!" Hiei growled, "Stupid humans!"
He rushed in like a madman and pulled out his katana.
A young girl was sitting on one of the stools eating a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone and her eyes widened.
(Could it be?) she thought to herself. Yes, it was! (That's Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho!)
Colleen never thought in a million years she'd meet her idol from Yu Yu Hakusho while at an ice cream shop. But secretly, she always wished it would happen this way. Colleen was 5'6" with straight brown hair that came just past her shoulders. She had blue eyes and a smattering of freckles across her cheeks. She took another lick from her ice cream cone and looked back to Hiei.
He was breathing heavily, but it didn't seem to be from exhaustion. A crazed look came into his eyes as he yelled:
"GIVE ME SWEET SNOW AND NO ONE GETS HURT!"
The manager of the shop ran out just then and shrieked, "Who are you?!"
Hiei ran up to her and pulled her up by the collar, letting her dangle in the air, "I am Hiei, give me sweet snow or die."
"S-s-ure, Hiei. But you'll have to tell me, What is sweet snow?"
"What you humans foolishly call 'ice cream' NOW GIVE IT!"
She took out the largest bowl they had in the store and starting scooping ice cream into it. She must've put 40+ scoops into the bowl, it was piled so high. She drizzled on chocolate syrup, then sprinkled nuts on and topped it with whipped cream. As a finale, she placed a ripe jubilee cherry on top.
Hiei was drooling in anticipation as she set the giant bowl down in front of him. He grabbed two spoons and starting shoveling the ice cream into his mouth as fast as he could.
Meanwhile, Colleen had inched her way over to him. She was sitting right next to him and smiled at the fire demon. She decided to break the ice:
"Hi, Hiei."
"Hn?!" Hiei momentarily stopped gorging on ice cream and whipped his head to the side to see who DARED to speak to him while he was eating. "Who are you?"
"I'm Colleen, a fan of yours."
He inched back a bit, "Are you one of those crazed fangirls?!" his eyes betrayed fear.
Colleen held her hands up and sweatdropped, "No no no no, just a fan!"
"Hn."
"So, do you come here often?"
"Foolish girl, I am trying to eat, why do you bother me." he kept shoving sweet snow in his mouth.
(Awww, he's so cute!) she thought to herself then said, "I think you're really cool!"
"A FIRE demon? Cool? Absurd."
Colleen laughed, "No silly, 'cool' is a slang term. Meaning that you're an interesting person."
"I am not a person, I am a demon. And I don't care for your foolish slang."
(Yum! What an attitude!) Colleen liked Hiei even more now, his bad attitude was irresistible!
"Well, each to his own. So Hiei, what are you planning on doing for the rest of the day?"
"As if it's any of your business." He said with a final gulp of ice cream. He pushed the bowl away from him and got up.
"Where are you going?" Colleen asked when he started walking away, "Hey! Hiei! Don't leave.."
"Why do you care if I stay or go?" Hiei asked, wondering why he didn't kill this human on sight for all her annoyance.
"Um.." she bit her lip, "I just do?"
"Humans.." Hiei muttered.
* * *
"Dun, dun dun dunt! Dun dun dun, dun dun dunt! Da da da da!" Thiny 'sang' the secret agent music to herself as she crept up slowly to the Urameshi residence.
(Oh yes Yusuke, you will be mine!) she thought excitedly. The half water demon swung upsidedown in front of Yusuke's bedroom window, careful not to be seen.
Yusuke was laying on his bed reading a comic book.
"Yusuke..." Thiny drooled as she watched him.
"Huh?" Yusuke's keen sense picked up another person nearby and he was instantly on guard. "Oh great, here we go, I bet another demon is on my tail." Yusuke whined and then stood up. He noticed a slight movement at the window and rushed over and threw it open.
"Hee hee hee..." Thiny was seen swinging back and forth like a pendulum and she pulled out a small camera and took pictures of Yusuke.
"GAH! What are you doing?! This is MY house!" Yusuke yelled at the intruder.
"I know, that's why I'm here!"
"So, are you going to try and kill me now?"
Horror crossed the girl's face, "NEVER! I LOOOOVE YOU YUSUKE!!!" She swung into his bedroom via the newly opened window and landed into the Spirit Detective's arms. Then she threw her own arms around his neck and grinned at him.
"What's the big idea?!" Yusuke retaliated, "I have a girlfriend!"
"Keiko? I would hardly call her a girlfriend. All she does is slap you and call you a jerk. Some girlfriend she is. You need someone better....someone like....me!"
"GAH! You're freaking me ouuuuttt...I don't even know who you are!"
"I'm Thiny!" she replied, jumping out of his arms, "And you, Yusuke Urameshi, are the hottest thing on the planet! BE MINE!" she enveloped him in a huge hug, enough for his eyes to bulge.
"I'm flattered, Thiny, but like I said, I have a girlfriend."
"Phhstt BLAH BLAH BLAH! You're too good for her!"
Yusuke sweatdropped majorly, "Um...I'm having a hard time breathing...."
"What's that? You loooooveeeee me??? OH YUSUKE I AM SO HAPPY! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING!" she screamed as loud as possible and kept him in her tight grasp.
Seconds later, Keiko Yukimora burst into Yusuke's room and covered her mouth in a large gasp at what she saw. She starting shaking with rage and clenched her fists at her sides.
"Yusuke....you...JERK!!!! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Keiko had managed to slap only Yusuke even though Thiny had her arms around him, "I can't believe I ever trusted you or liked you! WE'RE THROUGH YUSUKE DO YOU HEAR ME?!!!!"
"Keiko, wait!" he choked out, but it was too late, the angry girl had already left to drown her sorrows in root beer.
"Good riddance!" Thiny chimed in, "Now you can have a girlfriend who appreciates you....like me!"
"Oh brother...Well, now that Keiko's gone, ya wanna hang out?"
Thiny gasped, "Do you mean it?"
Yusuke shrugged, "Sure, why not."
"WHEEEEE!!!!! YUSUKE IS MINE ALL MINE!" she hugged him again.
"Can't...breathe..."
* * *
Hot tears streamed down Keiko's face as she walked down the streets alone. Yusuke was such a jerk! She didn't need him! (I'm better off without him. Mom and Dad never liked him much anyways.) she thought, trying to make herself feel better.
She wiped her eyes dry and took a deep breath. Today was the first day of the rest of her life and she wasn't going to waste it! Keiko decided to head to the park to see if there was any wildlife there today. She passed through the trees, searching for squirrels.
No squirrels, but she did hear a loud scraping sound coming from near by. Curiosity got the best of her, and Keiko followed the sound until she came to a clearing. A young boy of about 13 was sharpening two oak branches.
The boy had light blue hair and turquoise eyes. He was wearing a cubs visor with a dragon shirt and cutoff jeans. He looked up just then and a smile crossed his face. "Hello!!! How are you doing?" he asked her happily.
Keiko was surprised that he addressed her right off the bat, but decided to talk to him, "Not so hot, how about you?"
"I'm doing fine, but what's wrong?" he asked her as he saw Keiko's face fall, "By the way, I'm Fuzzy Demon."
Keiko smiled slightly, "Nice name, I'm Keiko."
"Well Keiko, you look down. Do you want to talk about it?" Fuzzy Demon asked her.
"Sure...I do need someone to talk to. I just broke up with my boyfriend that I've known since we were kids."
"Wow...I'm really sorry to hear that."
"It's ok, it was for the best."
"If you say so."
Keiko watched him as he sharpened the pieces of wood, "What are those for?"
"Oh these? These are my weapons, I have to keep them sharp. They turn into indescructible katanas in battle."
"Oh wow...are you a Spirit Detective?"
"Not really, but I do fight demons, I happen to be one myself. I'm a kitsune."
"Heh, that explains your name. Me, I'm just a plain old human." Keiko replied.
Fuzzy Demon grinned, "There's nothing wrong with that."
Keiko smiled back.
"Say Keiko, how would you like to go see a movie or something?" FuzzyD asked her.
"Well...I mean it's so soon and all..."
"No no, just to hang out! You look like you could use a good friend about now."
"That's true. Ok, Fuzzy Demon, that sounds like fun!"
* * *
"GEORGE!!! Where's my silver tablecloth?!" Koenma yelled to his assistant who rushed in frantically holding the desired item, "Gooooood this'll look perfect!" he exclaimed as he slung it over the long table. "We only have a few minutes left before she gets here, NOW HUSTLE!"
"Yes, Koenma-sir!" the frantic Ogre answered.
A few minutes later:
DING DONG!
"She's here! How do I look, George?" the dressed up Koenma asked. He was wearing a navy blue suit with an ascot instead of a tie and a pair of gold and mother of pearl cufflinks. He brushed himself off and turned around for his assistant to see.
"You look fabulous, Koenma-sir!"
"Thank you." he straightened his pacifier, which he had polished, and went to answer the door.
Koenma opened it cordially and welcomed his guest, "Jessi! Welcome to my palace. The other's haven't arrived yet, why don't we go sit down in the den while we wait for dinner?"
Jessi smiled, "Koenma, you look great!"
"Why thank you, I always try to look good for my guests. And might I say you look ravishing yourself."
Jessi blushed slightly, "You flatter me."
"Of course, with a lady so lovely as yourself, what else can I do?" Koenma was turning on the charm big time; all a part of his revenge plans.
Jessi was wearing a royal purple colored gown, that reached just below her ankles and was trimmed in silver ribbon. She wore her hair pulled back with a silver barrette on one side and her open-toed strapped shoes matched perfectly with her ensemble.
Koenma offered her his arm and escorted her to the den where they sat on a small sofa.
"So Koenma, when do you expect the others will arrive?" Jessi asked.
"Ah with Botan, who knows. She's always late and I can't really say about Kuwabara. He might have gotten attacked or something." Koenma answered.
"*gasp* Don't even say that! I hope Kazuma's ok."
"Ah, I assure you, he'll be fine."
George, decked out in a black tux, came in that moment and bowed, "Dinner is served."
"Come, let us dine!" Koenma exclaimed and offered Jessi his arm again.
They sat down at the exquisite table with Koenma's special silver tablecloth. He was seated at the head, and Jessi directly on his right. The plates and dinnerware were made of pure gold and there was a large chandelier hanging over the table, it's soft light dancing over the room.
"My, this certainly is a romantic atmosphere." Jessi observed.
Koenma lit a few candles to complete the effect, "I do like my romantic settings." he answered.
"Hehe, yeah. So, when did you and Botan start dating? I never heard anything about it."
"What? Oh no, we're not dating. In fact, I have my eye on someone else." he winked.
"Really now..." Jessi said a bit suspiciously.
They kept up light conversation throughout dinner and ate until they were full.
"Well well, those two are extremely late, they've already missed dinner!" Koenma said in a mournful tone, "No matter now, what would you say to some after dinner music, Jessi?"
"That sounds really nice."
"I'm glad you approve." he clapped twice and soft rock began playing on Koenma's surround sound stereo system.
They listened in silence for a few minutes until 'My Heart Will Go On' by Celine Dion came on.
"I love this song." Jessi said with a sigh.
"Me too, would you care to dance?" Koenma stood and held out his hand to her. He glanced over at the clock, it was nearly 8. (Perfect...) he thought.
"Well...um..sure!" Jessi took his hand and he led her out onto the dance floor that was also in the room.
~Every night in my dreams I see you I feel you...~
Koenma put his hands on Jessi's waist and she put her arms around his neck. They rocked back and forth to the music for a while and Jessi was surprised when Koenma pulled her closer.
~That is how I know you go on...~ (A/N: Don't worry, this isn't a song fic!)
"Jessi..." he whispered into her hair.
"Um..Koenma? Don't you think this is a bit close?"
"Nonsense. I like being close to you."
~Near, far, wherever you are...~
"But this close? I do have a boyfriend you know..." she gulped loudly.
Koenma didn't say anything else, he only pulled her closer. They were dancing very slowly now and Koenma appeared to be enjoying himself very much.
Unknown to Jessi, (but Koenma knew) two figures came into the room at that moment.
~I believe that the heart does go on...~
Kuwabara's eyes widened, there was Jessi, HIS Jessi, dancing romantically with Koenma! A giant pang hit his heart and he cried out: "JESSI!!!!"
It was Jessi's eyes turn to widen as she instantly let go of Koenma, not seeing his evil smirk when she turned away. "Kazuma!"
Tears began running down Kuwabara's cheeks, he felt so betrayed, "How? How could you do this to me?"
"No! This isn't what it looks like! Kuwabara please..." Jessi's eyes misted over.
"Don't 'Kuwabara please' me! I can't believe this...!!!!!" he couldn't take anymore and ran out of the room crying.
"KAZUMA!!!!!" Jessi fell to her knees and reached out a hand as she watched him go. She then looked over at Koenma who was smiling like a cheshire cat, and it dawned on her. He had planned it, HE PLANNED IT ALL! That lousy, no good, stinking son of an Enma! He would pay...
Meanwhile, Botan was abhored at the sight. Both upset because she thought Koenma liked Jessi, and because she thought Jessi liked Koenma back and felt bad for Kuwabara. But the next few seconds cleared that up. Koenma's grin gave him away.
"KOENMA YOU JERK!!!!!" Botan whacked him with her oar several times.
Jessi began beating on him with her fists, "GRRRR I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! HOW COULD YOU! YOU'RE EVIL EVIL EVIL NOT NOT NICE!!!!" she screamed.
And so, Koenma got tortured even during his own revenge, but he told himself it was worth it and grinned and bore it. (It gets even better after this.) He thought and grinned whilst getting beaten even more by the angry girls.
"That's it! I'm going to find him and apologize!" Jessi cried passionately, "You're a cruel man, Koenma." she sneered and then ran out of the room, her heels clicking rapidly.
Meanwhile, several rooms down:
Kazuma Kuwabara ran into a room and threw himself down on the well-cushioned sofa. He cried for a few minutes then wiped his eyes and rested his chin on his arms. (Why Jessi...why? I thought we were so happy together.) *sniff*
"You look terrible, what happened, Kazuma-kun?" an unfamiliar voice rang out of nowhere into the room.
Kuwabara jerked his head up and saw a young girl of about sixteen sitting across from him on another sofa. She looked about 5'5 1/2" tall with long curly brown hair, similar to Jessi's, and dark brown eyes.
"Aagh! I didn't know there was anybody in this room! I must look like an idiot..." Kuwabara trailed off and then looked up at her again, "Wait...how do you know my name?!"
The girl chuckled, "I'm Mei, and I know more than you think, Kuwabara. Don't worry, it's ok to cry."
He wiped his eyes, "Uh thanks I guess, but that still doesn't explain how you know me."
"I'm one of your fans of course, silly!" She got up and sat down next to him and patted him on the back, "So, why don't you tell me what's bothering you."
"Well, you see...it's my girlfriend, Jessi. Koenma invited us to a special dinner and told us not to tell Jessi we were coming and when I got there, she was dancing with him romantically! It ripped my heart out..."
"Ohh Kazuma-kun, I'm so sorry..." she knelt next to him and hugged him in a comforting guesture.
Just then, Jessi walked into the room calling his name and what sight greeted her? Another woman hugging her boyfriend!
"KAZUMA!!!" she cried out and he whipped his head around.
"Jessi! No! It's not what you think!"
"HOW DARE YOU! I CAME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU BECAUSE KOENMA SET THE WHOLE THING UP AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING?! It's very clear which one of us is doing wrong!"
"He, he did?" Kuwabara choked out.
A young man walked in just then, you might know him as Ken Hidaka from Weiss Kruez.
"MEI!!!" yelled out the brown-eyed brunette, as he saw his beloved girlfriend wrapped in the arms of another. He put a hand to his goggled forehead and moaned, "How could you do this to me!"
Mei instantly let go of Kuwabara and stood up, "Ken, no!!! KEN-CHAN! I'm not...not doing what you think!"
"Mei, I can't believe this..." a tear slipped down from his eye.
Mei glomped him but Ken stayed rigid. "Please Ken, you have to listen to me!"
Jessi burst into tears and Ken brushed Mei off of him. Ken started walking out and Jessi said, "I'm going with you! Our significant others are obviously cheaters!"
"I agree with you Miss, I'm Ken by the way."
"I'm Jessi, nice to meet you although it would've been nicer under different circumstances."
With a last mournful glance, Jessi and Ken walked out of the room their arms folded and tears wetting their cheeks.
"Wonderful..." Kuwabara trailed off and smacked his hand on his forehead.
"We're in this together, Kazuma-kun." Mei agreed and they both began plans to win back their loves.
* * *
Shiuiichi Minamino, aka Kurama, was walking home on his way back from the library. He brushed a hand past his gorgeous red hair and saw something flash out of the corner of his eyes. He saw three more flashes after it and he swore he could sense Hiei on the wind. But there wasn't only one Hiei. There were four.
"Strange..." he mused to himself then shrugged, he'd talk to Hiei about it later.
Kurama kept on walking and was so deep in thought that he didn't see where he was going and collided with an oncoming object.
Kurama stayed standing while the other person fell down onto the ground: "HEY! Watch where you're go...ing..." the person he ran into trailed off and stopped, "Umm...hi.."
Kurama looked down to see a young girl with long dark brown hair in a ponytail. She was dressed simply in shorts and a t-shirt and was wearing sandals.
"I'm so sorry," Kurama held out his hand to help her up, "I wasn't watching where I was going. I'm Kurama."
She blushed as he helped her up and murmured, "I know..."
Kurama was surprised, "You know me? How?"
"Well, it's a long story. I'm Angel, it's great to see you."
"Angel, the pleasure is all mine." he smiled and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.
Angel blushed even more.
"Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me? I'd really like to know more about you." Kurama asked her kindly.
"Sure." Angel said and they walked together to the nearest coffee shop.
Inside, they sat down and Kurama ordered two regular coffees, when they arrived Angel started sipping hers and Kurama smiled over at her. "So Angel, tell me a little about yourself."
She nodded, "I'm part mimic demon, the other part of me is human. I can see an attack once and mimic it perfectly but from then on I have to say my name in front of the attack. There's a part of my past that has to do with you too, Kurama. You see, I'm from an alternate dimension that was destroyed...." she looked down, "I found myself in a vortex and came out here in this world so like the one I knew. I knew you and the other Spirit Detectives there. You and I were...together..." she trailed off.
Kurama reached his hand over and put it on Angel's hand in a comforting guesture, "I'm sorry to hear about your dimension. I'm glad that you're ok though. Somehow, I feel like I've known you forever."
She smiled up at him, "Thank you, Kurama. You're wonderful."
A slight blush tinged his cheeks and the two of them stayed at the coffee house talking until after the sun went down.
* * *
"Ohhhhh there was a Queen who had a King and Hiei was his name oh! H-I-E-I YAY! H-I-E-I YAY! H-I-E-I YAY! And Hiei was his nammmeeee ohhh!!!! Thank you thank you, you've been a wonderful audience!!!" Dragon Queen bowed to no one in particular as she was on her way to the sweet snow parlor.
She whipped out a mirror and studied her reflection admiringly. DQ was 5'1" with dark dark dark brown eyes that were almost black and long black hair. She wore a crown on her head and straightened it up then put the mirror away. "Ah yes, I look lovely as usual! I might run into Hiei so I have to look my best!"
She continued along and whistled when she saw a flash of light. She pulled out her compact mirror again and flashed it at the unknown object. "He he he! Time for torture!" she said with delight.
Her newest victim was blinded and kneeling on the ground and DQ walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. She pulled out a lighter and lit the flame menacingly, "Fear me--HIEI?!"
Dragon Queen almost fainted when she saw her most beloved idol and guy she had a crush on right in front of her. You see, the Hieis Koenma created were all desparately trying to find sweet snow. This Hiei was no exception.
"What are you doing, girl!" the Hiei which was an exact duplicate of the original in every way, grabbed the lighter out of her hand.
"OMG YOU'RE HIEI!" she glomped him.
"Of course I am, now let me go, foolish human!"
"NEVER!!!! I'M DRAGON QUEEN AND YOU'RE MY KING! KISS ME YOU FOOL!"
"Hn?! I don't have time for this insanity, I am searching for sweet snow, now let go before I force you."
"Oh Hiei...I love it when you sweet-talk me!"
"Sweeeeet snow..." the mention of the word sweet sent him into a frenzy.
"Sweet snow?" DQ asked, "Oh yes! I was just on my way to a sweet snow parlor, wanna come?"
"You will bring me to this place with sweet snow. Now."
"Course my silly little bishi!" she grabbed his hand and started pulling him down the street in the other direction, "Sing with me now!!! HIEI ROCKS OH YES HE DOES AND I'M HIS DRAGON QUEEN LIKE HE SAID I WAS!" she half screamed/half sang a little song she made up at the spur of the moment.
"I did not say you were my Queen."
"Ohhh yes you did!"
"No, I did NOT."
"Hiei, you're breaking me heart! IF YOU DON'T STOP I SWEAR I'LL BE TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!!!"
Hiei rolled his eyes, all three of them, "Spare me."
DQ stopped suddenly and clasped a hand to her heart, "That's it! Now you've done it! I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE!!! OH WOE IS ME MY WORLD IS CRASHING DOWN AND SHALL NEVER BE THE SAME---"
"ENOUGH! Hurry up, I need sweet snow. Let's go, you can be my stupid queen, ok?"
"I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!!" she yelled as she glomped Hiei, "Oh Hiei my love! Let's get married and live happily ever after!"
"Hn..." he sighed.
"Ooh ooh! I know!" DQ had an idea, "After we get sweet snow, let's go get our pictures taken! Then we can get them put into little keychains and on t-shirts and on cell phone covers and we can get cell phones and call each other all the time and even when we're standing next to each other and we'll be so happy you and meeeee!!!!"
Hiei slapped a hand to his forehead, this human was driving him crazy! Although he had to admit, she was starting to grow on him. "Come on." he grabbed her hand whilst she kept on talking and dragged DQ all the way to the sweet snow parlor.
* * *
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
Yep! Koenma's revenge is too long to put into one chapter! The fun and madness will continue next time on part two. As you can see, people are pairing up!
NEXT TIME ON TALES OF REVENGE AND SWEET SNOW: Koenma's revenge continues! Will Koenma finally be happy with torturing the Spirit Detectives? Will Thiny and Yusuke get together? Will Kuwabara and Jessi make up? Will Mei and Ken make up? And what will happen when Hiei and Kurama find out they've been cloned? STAY TUNED!!!!!!