Fan Fiction / Zoids Fan Fiction ❯ Bandits ❯ A Lesson in Aerodynamics ( Chapter 4 )

Millerna: There are still more reviews on MY story.

HealerAriel: So? Yours has been up longer! Besides, I've gotten great reviews on this one! So there!

Millerna: *grumble* Man, I hate Van. Cocky bastard.

HealerAriel: Heh, he's still rubbing it in your face that I update this story more frequently?

Millerna: Yeah. Grrrrrrr.... NEW GUYS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE SUCH BIG EGOS! It took me several chapters and about fifty "Millerna's-so-cool" reviews to go on an ego trip like that!

HealerAriel: -_-; Yep, and you've been on that ego trip ever since...

Millerna: *glares* Don't mess with me, She-Who-Sleeps-Until-One-PM-In-The-Afternoon.

HealerAriel: Hey! I was up until 4 AM writing YOUR STORY! Be grateful! And I even let you cuddle with Link in that chapter. So worship me.

Millerna: ^_^ Oooh, okay then!

HealerAriel: *deep in thought* Ya know? I have the strangest urge to write some Bit/Leena smut.

Millerna: Well, duh, even a reviewer said you have a sick mind, why would THAT surprise me?

HealerAriel: Heh heh heh...a reviewer asked me for a semi-graphic Irvine/Moonbay scene, too. Oh, it will come, my friends, it will come... That'll just be the chapter I DON'T let Mark read, heh heh.

Millerna: Why do you let your little brother read this story, anyway?

HealerAriel: Didn't we go over this? He and I are the Mercutio and Alandria prototypes.

Millerna: Geez, you've come up with ANOTHER sixteen-year-old girl character. Let's see, me, Sabrina, Mona, Alandria... Four characters, aged sixteen. You wanna be sixteen, don'tcha?

HealerAriel: Yeah. Sixteen equals driving. And I wanna drive!

Millerna: You can't even ride a horse without mishap, Erin.

HealerAriel: NOT MY FAULT JACK LOST HIS BALANCE!

Millerna: You were the one in the saddle backing him up. You're the one getting your shoulder surgically repaired next month, too, heh.

HealerAriel: Again, NOT my fault! And may I remind you that there are worse injuries than a dislocated shoulder. That rope burn from the reigns was a bitch, though... I'd rather have dislocated BOTH shoulders than have rope burn for a week. But it's gone now! ^_^

Millerna: Oy vey. O_o Oh great, now I'm talking like you!

HealerAriel: I'm rubbing off on you. Soon you'll be shopping at Hot Topic and watching Zoids and Yu Yu Hakusho. You already have my coffee addiction.

Millerna: Shut up, Erin...

(A/N- Haha! I've been reading the reviews, my dears, and I agree with...one of you...that Van and Fiona are more likely to be all sweet and sappy, and Irvine and Moonbay are more likely to be...uh, less *innocent* when expressing affection. So, you want this stuff? I warn you, I do, in fact, have quite a sick little mind, so if I write such a scene, it'll be pretty graphic. You don't mind?)

"Aw, SWEET!" Mercutio yelled. What caused this outburst? Dinner at the base. Which led to anime sweatdrops appearing for Van, Irvine, Fiona, and Moonbay.

"Oh, food! Lovely food!" Mercutio continued, piling just about everything he could reach onto his plate and shoveling it into his mouth. Alandria was following suit with just a bit less, er, enthusiasm than her brother. Van and company - along with the rest of the military dudes - just stared at them in disbelief. But it wasn't until the high and mighty officers started making remarks about their manners that Van found it necessary to correct them. He elbowed Alandria.

"Ow, what's your problem, dorkus?" she demanded, thwapping him on the back of the head.

"Dorkus," Irvine snickered. Van glared at him. "Yeah, I'll shut up." Van turned his attention back to Alandria.

"You know, the food isn't going to fly away," he said. Alandria gasped and gave him an utterly shocked look.

"No way! Seriously? It just takes a genius like you to figure that out, doesn't it?" She rolled her eyes and went back to her dinner.

"I tried," Van said, exasperated. "I swear, I tried."

"Just goes to show you that you didn't try hard enough," Irvine said helpfully. Then he grinned. "Dorkus."

"You irritate me."

"I know. Heh heh."

"Jerk," Van grumbled under his breath.

"Pretty-boy," Irvine countered.

"You're not exactly one to talk about pretty-boys, Irvy," Alandria informed, wearing her trademark smirk. "You're about as pretty as they come. Although that ain't a bad thing, per se." Irvine smiled.

"You see? Aside from that 'Irvy' stuff, what's not to love about this kid?"

"Aw, thankies, Irvy!"

"'Thankies Irvy'..." Van continued to mumble about all the things Alandria and Mercutio did to annoy him. He was just getting to Mercutio's constant voice-acting of what he thought Van and Fiona did together in their spare time (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) when,

"Heads up, Van!" Moonbay called - a split second before a large piece of cheesecake landed right on Van's head. And Mercutio was arming himself once more with a jumbo shrimp (oxymoron) in a spoon-catapult.

"Hee hee hee hee hee," he chuckled evilly. "I challenge you, O slow-Zoided one."

"Mercutio, that is so incredibly immature," Van stated, trying his hardest to look like a responsible adult while he considered chucking a tomato at Mercutio's nose.

"You won't fight, varlet?! PREPARE TO FEEL MY WRATH!" Mercutio launched his shrimp and hit Van in the eye. "YEEEEEEHAW!" Van sighed and wiped all the shrimpy juices off his face as Fiona looked shocked and Irvine, Moonbay, and Alandria laughed their asses off.

"You know what?" Van asked. "I've changed my mind." He picked up the tomato and hurled it at Mercutio. Unfortunately for Van, he wasn't very good at throwing food, and he hit Thomas instead. This was just as pleasing to him, actually, until Thomas retalliated by catapulting a large spoonful of mashed potatoes into his face.

"Thomas!" Fiona scolded.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss Fiona, but this is war!" Thomas replied, just as Van payed him back with a banana to the forehead. Thomas growled and catapulted a spoonful of pudding in Van's general direction. Van blocked it with Alandria.

"YOU MONKEY TURD!" she screamed, upturning an entire pot of gravy onto Van's head for using her as a shield. Some of it splashed onto Fiona, though. Fiona gasped, looking horrified. She thought for a moment, then grinned, and picked up a piece of whipped-creamy strawberry shortcake.

"Catch," she advised, before throwing it at Alandria. The other girl ducked, and the cake went sailing right into the side of Moonbay's face.

"Oh, you wanna fight, Fiona?" Moonbay challenged, laughing despite her current cakey situation. "Take this!" She hurled a hunk of cornbread in Fiona's direction, accidentally hitting Van instead, at the same time as Mercutio and Thomas began flinging shrimp and potatoes at everyone (except Fiona, in Thomas's case). This, of course, erupted into a ferocious battle. Irvine hadn't been hit yet. He shook his head.

"Well, once again I'm the only mature adult in the situa- ACK!" A piece of cherry pie, directed at Moonbay by Van, had just splatted all over his face. "Now, you DIE!" Irvine yelled, picking up a can of that squeeze cheese stuff and launching a cheesy assault on everyone, laughing maniacally. "HAHAHAHA! I AM THE GOD OF CHEESE! FEAR ME, MORTALS!" he screamed, before he was bombarded by an onslaught of various food products.

"Yep. Should'a known that was coming," Irvine said to himself, tossing the empty can of cheese over his shoulder.

"Aw, poor Irvine," Moonbay said. "Allow me to assist you." With that, she poured a glass of ice water...into his lap.

"COLD!" he yelped. "ARE YOU TRYING TO FREEZE MY FREAKIN' BALLS OFF?!"

"Naw, she can't get rid of your balls, she's intending on using 'em later," Alandria informed.

"I AM NOT!" Moonbay shouted immediately.

"Are too," Alandria argued, flinging a spoonful of corn at the two of them.

Then, figuratively speaking, the shit hit the fan.

"Lieutenant Flyheight! What is the meaning of this!?" (You know the bitch who tried to get all the special stuff taken off the guys' Zoids when they were going up against the GenoBreaker? Yeah, I don't have the slightest clue what his name is, but it's that guy talking) Van sunk low in his chair.

"Oh, boy."

***

"Poor Van," Moonbay said, as she and Irvine walked back from the epic foodfight. Van was currently being totally laid out by the dude, who the authoress will just call Bitch-Head until she knows his name. Irvine smirked.

"Yeah, well if one of us has to take the blame, it may as well be Van," he said. "Maybe it'll take him off his little 'Ooh-I'm-A-Lieutenant-Look-At-Me' ego trip. By the way, all the whipped cream is very becoming on you." Moonbay giggled.

"You too," she replied, flicking some off the tip of his nose.

"We're the responsible adults in this outfit, alright," Irvine said, laughing, as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"You know it, Cheese-Boy. I really, really need a shower now."

"Me too. It was fun, though," he added, as they reached her room.

"Well, you know what they say: Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."

"Yeah."

They just looked at each other. Then both blushed.

"Uh..."

"Well..."

"G-Goodnight."

"Uh-huh. I mean, goodnight to you, too."

"Um...yeah. Seeya tomorrow."

"Okay. Bye, Irvine." Moonbay closed her door behind her and listened to him walk away. Then she banged her head repeatedly on the door. "God, did I just DO that?! I'm acting like a ditz over IRVINE! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRG! DAMN HIS FINENESS!"

(A/N- ahh, another chapter finished. I'm so proud of me little self.)