Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Reaching Out For Love ❯ Part One: Rejection ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Reaching Out For Love   Authors: DuosAngel and foxmagic07 Pairings: Haru/Yuki, Kyo/Tohru, hints of Shigure/Ayame Warnings: sap, yaoi, het, humor, romance, angst, POV Disclaimer: Neither of us own Fruits Basket but desperately wish we did.     Part One: Rejection   ~Tohru~ "Hmmm….." I lay back on my bed, restless. A thousand things ran through my mind at once. It had been so wonderful living in the Sohma house, I can't remember being happier, except when my mom was still alive. That fateful day when Shigure san and Sohma san invited me to stay at their house has to be one of my favorite memories. They really didn't have to do what they did…but because of them I now have the best family in the world. There's Shigure-san, Ayame-san, Sohma-san, Momiji-kun, Hatori-san, Kagura-chan, Hatsuharu-kun and…. Kyo-kun… "Kyo kun…” The world outside my window is buzzing with the breath of morning….and I don't dare move an inch.   ****** ~Haru~ I sigh as I look through the photo album I found on the bookshelf in Hatori’s living room. The only reason I’m looking through it at all is because I’m hoping to find some pictures of Yuki. Lucky for me, there’s tons. But for some reason he’s never smiling in any of them. In fact, I’ve never really seen Yuki smile. Yeah, sure, he’s smiled at me before but none of them were real smiles. He only really smiles at Tohru. And that girl doesn’t even care. She only has eyes for Kyo. Sometimes I wonder if I should be happy that she doesn’t want Yuki or sad that Yuki can never be with the one he must love. Why do I think he loves her? Because he treats her differently than everyone else. Because he smiles for her.   “Momiji.” Hatori called from his office. “You’re going to be late for school.”   “OK bye!” Momiji calla and he bounces down the stairs. We leave the house and start to walk to school. I can’t wait to get there and see Yuki. Maybe I’ll get to see him smile, even if it is for Tohru. ***** ~Kyo~ "Damn rat." I glare vengefully at Yuki from across the hall. Several girls have stopped him to talk. They're probably from his freakin fan club. God, those girls give me the creeps. I have problems with girls here, too…but not nearly as bad as him. "Heh…. serves that bastard right…" I snicker just loud enough for myself to hear.  I really don't understand how he could go to this school with all these women around. Sure, I go here too, but I was FORCED. I'd much rather be training with my master than going to this place. Guess I'd better make the most of it though, I'll be here for a while.   Suddenly, a rush of warmness runs up my spine. I turn, knowing full well whom I'm going to find. The girl who had won over the Sohmas that lived at my house. Shigure, the rat, even Kagura (who doesn't really live at my house…thank god)….they all have taken a liking to her. And me…well….   "Kyo-kun!" she sang in her usual chipper tone. "How are you this morning?" Her eyes wide in eagerness for the day, clothes neat and clean. This is Tohru. Though naïve and unbelievably clumsy at times, she is still….Tohru. Nothing will ever change that.   "I'm….fine." I manage to say in between thoughts. I'm really not as nice as I'd like to be….but hey; I'm getting better at it! So instead of attempting further conversation, I simply force out a half smile (more like a smirk) and sling my pack over my shoulder. "Let's go to class."  ***** ~Yuki~ I roll my eyes as I watch Tohru and that dumb cat come into class. The two of them were made for each other, and it’s obvious that they like each other. When will they just admit it? Not that I’m one to talk. I’ve never told the one I love how I feel, but I do it for his own protection. If Akito ever found out my feelings for Haru…god only knows what he would do to him.   “Yuki!” I turn to see Momiji running at me. Before I even get a chance to blink I feel Momiji’s arms wrap around my waist and I quickly detach him. I look over to where Tohru and Kyo are and see Haru with them. He smiles at me and I feel my heart melt. He has such a beautiful smile. I wish I could kiss him, touch him. But I won’t put him in danger like that. I must keep my distance and pretend that I don’t love him. That I don’t dream about holding him in my arms. ***** ~Haru~ “Yuki!” Momiji shouts and he runs to give our cousin a hug. I can’t stop the wave of jealousy I feel watching the little blonde get to hug my Yuki. I’m ashamed to admit that I was a little bit pleased when Yuki pulled away from Momiji. I know I shouldn’t feel like this but I can’t help it. It’s not fair that Momiji gets to hug Yuki and I can’t do anything.   Yuki looks over at me and I smile at him. I’m not surprised when he doesn’t smile back, just nods his head in greeting. I wish that just once he’d smile for me, but it will never happen. He doesn’t love me enough to give me the pleasure of seeing his smile. *Sigh* This sucks. I need to get Kyo to fight me later so I can let off some steam. Or even better, maybe I can get Yuki to fight me. No, he’d never do that. Because like his smiles I’m not worthy enough to spare with him. ***** ~Tohru~ Stuffing my things into my bag, I quickly turn on my heels and run out the door. Today it will not be just Sohma-san, Kyo-kun, and I walking home. Hatsuharu-kun and Momiji-kun have decided to join us. I smile warmly at them, trying my best to be polite as usual, and we depart for Shigure-san's house.   "So how was everyone's day?" I ask. My question was answered with a not-too-happy grunt from one, a smile from another, a shrug given by Hatsuharu-kun, and a downcast gaze from Momiji-kun. Apparently no one knew how to use words.   "When we get back, how about I start dinner? What do you think we should have, Kyo-kun?" My words float effortlessly on the wind.   "Anything that ain't got leeks…" He grumbled. Well, I wasn't getting much out of him. That's what he always says.   "And what about you, Sohma-san?"   "Well, miso sounds good. And I don't even care if you decide to add leeks." He sent a snide reply, though not really directed at me…more at Kyo-kun. I knew that would start something.   "SHUT UP!!!!!" Kyo-kun barked back. "ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIGHT??!!" His whole face erupted in a fit of rage. It was definitely easy to get him riled up.   "I'm not fighting you. You couldn't take me." It was Sohma-san's turn to talk. But he never lets himself get worked up the way Kyo-kun does.   All I could remember after that was the endless bickering of the two (more of Kyo-kun than Sohma-san of course). An all that flooded my mind was how much I loved it. I loved these days when we walked home together, bickering or not. The sweetest times were spent with them. And it made me think….would things always be this way? Sneakily, I stole a glance at Kyo-kun who was still ranting, and deep down I wondered if I even wanted things to stay the same. ***** ~Kyo~ The walk home was more annoying than usual. As if it isn't bad enough that I have to walk with that stupid rat, but I ALSO had to endure the unwanted company of the fat cow and little rabbit. ...ugh....why me? The only thing that kept me sane was Tohru-kun....if she wasn't there, I think I'd go insane......insane... Later, we arrived at the house. I have no idea where Shigure was....and I had a feeling I didn't really WANT to know. I simply took this time to escape to the roof, where I knew I'd be safe from all the pests inside. "Man...." I grumbled to myself. "Sometimes...sometimes I just don't know what to do...." Thankful to be alone so no one could hear my complaints....I took in the evening air. "I really do...hate --" "What do you hate, Kyo-kun?" a timid voice interrupted my musings. I looked over to find the innocent face of none than...that's right...Tohru. "Umm...I don't hate...well...." explaining my way out of this was going to be tough. "What I mean to say is...wait a minute! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP HERE ANYWAY?! Aren't you supposed to be cooking dinner?" "Well, Shigure-san invited Momiji-kun and Hatsuharu-kun to stay over for dinner...and then Sohma-san and Hatsuharu-kun offered to make the food..." she was trying her best to explain under my intense glare. "........." I flashed her the best smile I could muster and rubbed her head playfully. "Don't worry about it, you can sit up here with me, alright?" Her eyes lit up in a way that made my stomach do a back flip. I really do love to see that smile.... ***** ~Haru~          &n bsp;   Oh god it’s killing me to be this close to Yuki and not do anything about it. I wish I could tell him how I feel. Yeah, sure, I’ve talked about having a crush on him before but no one, not even Yuki, has ever taken me seriously. But I really do love him.   “Hey, Haru.” Yuki says from the other side of the kitchen. “Could you cut up the leeks for me?” I smile, knowing that Yuki is putting leeks into the dinner we’re making just to piss Kyo off. Things are certainly going to get interesting tonight.   “Sure.” I say and I go over to where he’s standing to cut the leeks while he cuts up some other vegetables. We don’t talk while we cook but it doesn’t bother me because with Yuki silences are never uncomfortable. Soon we’re setting the table and everyone is drawn to the dinning room by the smell of dinner. I hide my smile behind my hand as I watch Kyo’s face turn red at the sight of the leeks.     “Damn you two! Why’d you have to go and put leeks in it?” He demands. I just ignore him and start to eat but Yuki is of course ready with a reply.   “Because you hate leeks and I hate you.” He says calmly. Kyo grabs Yuki by the shirt and pulls back his fist. I up in a heartbeat and pull Yuki away from the cat. Kyo glares at me but I could care less. The moment I saw the cat boy grab Yuki I had gone black.   “Sit down, shut up, and eat your dinner.” I growl. Kyo sits down muttering something about me being a meddling bastard and again I just ignore him. Just as we’re all about to start eating Ayame walked in, smiling as always.   “Hello everyone, I know you must have missed me.” He says. Just as I thought before, this is going to be a very interesting night. ***** ~Ayame~ I plaster on one of my oh-so-familiar grins and sit down beside the teens at the table. "So you all must have missed me SOOOOOO much! It's been so long since we last met!"   "It's been a WEEK!" Kyo-kun shouted back. Oh how mean he is to me!   Yuki then intervenes.” What are you really doing here?" He seems upset…I wonder why?   "WEEELLLLLL, Gure-san invited me to eat with you guys….so I just brought myself right on over!!!!!"   "Then why don't you bring yourself right on back…?” I faintly caught someone say under their breath. I'd really think someone didn't like me if I didn't know any better.   Then Gure-san walks in, just as charming as ever. "Oh, I thought I heard you, Aaya-chan. You're just in time to eat."   "OH GOODIE!!!" I ran over to grab the spot nearest my brother and Gure-san. Yuki only rolls his eyes. "So tell me, anything new with you all?" I say throwing an arm over Yuki’s shoulders. ***** ~Yuki~ I can’t believe Shigure invited Ayame over. Isn’t the house filled with enough idiots already? I can already tell that things are just going to go downhill from here. The only thing that could possibly make this worse is if Kagura showed up.   “KYO-KUN!!!!” Damn. I’m never going to get any peace now. I look over at Kyo across the table and can tell he’s thinking the same thing. Strange that one of the people I hate the most in life is the only other person who shares my opinion of our family.  Suddenly I feel eyes on me and turn to see Haru watching me. He quickly turns away but I know he knows that I saw him. I have a really bad feeling.   “By the way everyone. I just got off the phone with Hatori and we decided that since none of you have school tomorrow, you can all stay the night!” Oh god. What the hell were Hatori and Shigure thinking? Tonight is going to complete and utter hell. ***** ~Shigure~ Oh my, it seems like Yuki is quite angry now. I guess that’s my fault. Oh well, I’m sure tonight will be fun. Then again I suppose the fact that Aaya-chan is running his hand slowly up my thigh is proof of that. I swear he never gets tired of teasing me. I’ll just have to get him back later.   I look around the table and can’t help but smile at the innocent love that is being expressed. Kagura is now attached to Kyo’s arm and going on about how happy they’ll be together in the future. Momiji and Tohru are talking but poor Tohru is watching Kyo and Kagura. I look over to Yuki and Haru and nearly laugh at how cute they’re being. They keep sneaking glances at each other when they think no one is looking. Ah, young love. It warms my heart to see it. *****  

~Kyo~ After one hell of a dinner, I decided to go outside and take a walk to get some fresh air. It was really hectic in the house and I wanted NO part of it….especially when it came to Kagura. So here I am…out in the damn cold….all because a bunch of morons took over the house. Then suddenly, I feel a hand grasp my shoulder.  

"Kyo-kun?" It was the unmistakable voice of Tohru.

  "Yeah, what is it?" I throw back. Then nothing but silence. So, I decide to turn around and look her square in the face. "Well, what's the matter?"   Her eyes are cast down at the ground, a definite sign that something is wrong. "Umm….Kyo-kun…I…” she tries to spit the words out, but is apparently having trouble. Instead of going on, she fiddles with her dress hem.   I'm starting to get a little worried, but showing it wouldn't be a good idea, so I settle for taking a hold of her hand and sitting (or rather forcing) her to take a seat on the ground next to me. "Now, what's wrong?"  

"Kyo-kun….tell me…what do you think of me as?"

 

The question seemed almost like a slap in the face. What on earth did she mean by that? "Umm….ahh…I don't exactly understand…"

  Then I make a mistake -I lift my eyes up to meet hers. Her expression tells me everything.   "Tohru…” What can I say? How do I tell her? How do I tell someone like her how much I care? Because….because I'm just not worth it. I will never be worth the love of somebody like Tohru….and that is why… "Tohru, stop it….just stop it."  

She stares at me deeply, her face filling with sadness. "Kyo…" The sentence is drawn at that -she left out the honorific, and I don't know what to make of it.

  "NO!!" Standing up, I proceed to shout. "STOP IT ALREADY!!!!"   The only thing I am faced with after that is the image of a tear sliding down her cheek. Quickly, Tohru gets up and runs….not even caring where. And I….I am left with that painful sight searing into my mind. ***** ~Yuki~ After dinner I went to my secret place to hide. I hate it when there are so many people at the house. It drives me insane. Sometimes I wish everyone would just go away forever. But then I remember that while they’re all a nuisance when together, they’re still good people.   Just as I was about to check on my vegetables I hear a twig snap nearby. I quickly turn around; ready to fight if the intruder turns out to be Kyo. To my surprise Haru is standing there, and from the look on his face, I can tell that I’m not going to like whatever he came here to say.   “Did you need something Haru?” I ask, pretending that I’m not bothered by his presence.   “We need to talk.” He says walking closer. “Yuki…I…I love you.” I gasp and know my eyes must be wide as saucers. I can’t believe this is happening. For years I’ve dreamed of Haru confessing his love for me and the carrying me away from everything. From this house, from the Sohma family, and from Akito.  But even though I always wanted this, I know that for Haru’s sake, I can’t let it happen.   “You say that.” I say, twisting my mouth into a cruel smirk, one that I usually save for Kyo and my brother. “But do you really mean it?”   “Of course I mean it.” Haru says. “I’ve said it a million times and I’ve meant it each time. I love you Yuki.” I laugh at him even though I can feel my heart breaking from what I’m doing to him.   “You love me, so what? Lots of people claim to love me. But what none of you seem to realize is that I’m incapable of feeling love.”   “That’s not true Yuki.” He says. God I’ve never heard his voice like that, so desperate. It doesn’t suit him at all. “I know Akito hurt you but that doesn’t mean-.”   “NO!” I shout at him. “YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH! NO ONE DOES!” I’m sorry Haru. I’m so sorry for acting this way.   “Yuki please-.”   “Go away Haru! I can’t stand to be near you!” Please, try to find someone else to love. Someone that won’t cause you pain.   It kills me to hurt him this way, but I have no choice. I can’t let him get hurt. I have to protect him. I watch as tears run down his cheeks. It feels like a hand is squeezing my heart when he lets out a single sob before running away. God I want to go after him, to tell him I’m sorry and that I love him. But I can’t. Because it’s better that he hates me than for him to get hurt. It’s better this way. ***** ~Haru~ You say that, but do you really mean it? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH! I can’t stand to be near you!   With Yuki’s words replaying over and over in my head, I ran. I don’t know where and I really don’t care. Just as long as I get away from Yuki. In all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never known him to be so cruel. Why isn’t my love good enough for him? Why can’t he love me?   Suddenly I found myself on the ground. What the hell did I run into? I look up and see Tohru on the ground in front of me. I must have hit her and the collision made us both fall. In the fading light I can see unshed tears in her eyes. Damn. The last thing I need is for Kyo to kill me for making Tohru cry. Then I noticed that her eyes are red and her cheeks are tear stained. She was already crying when I ran into her.   “Ah, Hatsuharu-san.” She says, her voice a little rough from crying. “Were you crying?”   “Yes.” I say helping her up. “And so were you.” She gasps and I know she’s going to try to make an excuse.   “Ah, you see, when you ran into me, that is-.” I hold up a hand indicating for her to stop, which she does.   “So,” I say with a bitter smile. “Did you get your heart broken too?” ***** ~Tohru~ I stare at Hatsuharu-san in surprise. He looks worse off then me. His eyes, too, are stained from tears. But what do I say? I can’t get out of this one. “….Oh, Hatsuharu-san…” I begin to cry again. “I thought that…. I thought…”    “You thought that if you told the person you loved the truth, they would accept it. Didn’t work, huh?” He finishes my sentence.    I can only nod my head in agreement and wonder how he knows. By the way he is talking, he must have confronted someone as well….and I have a good idea who it is.   Obviously sensing my hesitancy on the subject, he plows on. “I think I did the same thing you did.” He admits. “I went to someone very dear to me and put my heart out for them…but as you probably guessed, it didn’t go over too well. Yuki….he…he told me that he didn’t even want to be near me…” I could hear the hurt in his voice.    “I’m so sorry.” I can truly sympathize with him. Then he looks up. “What about you? What happened between you and Kyo?”    “How did you know it was Kyo-kun?”    Giving me a dumbfounded glare, Hatsuharu-san shakes his head. “Whaddya mean? Everybody knows you two like each other. It’s plain as day.”    “I don’t think it’ll be that way any more.” I force out a smile. “When I tried to talk to him about it, he told me to just stop. He didn’t even want to hear it.”    After that, we both sat in silence. I could tell Hatsuharu-san was doing a lot of thinking about all this, just as I am. But even so….it seems like no matter how hard I think; I can’t bring myself to feel closure on this. What should we do now? Then, Hatsuharu-san jumps up and drags me with him. There is a mischievous look in his eyes that I’m not sure I like…    “Tohru! There is only one thing we can do if we ever want to get over this.” He exclaims. “As much as I hate to admit it…we have no other choice.” I wait patiently to hear the rest; half dreading what he is going to say. Then, he finishes. “We must go to see Ayame and Shigure-san!”     I sweat drop. “Pa…pa…pardon?”