Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Arms of the Angels ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own FY or Sarah McLachlan's City of Angels.

Summery: Tamahome's on his deathbed and each of the Suzaku Seven has something to say to him as a farewell. But none are taking it quite so hard as Miaka. (Written to Sarah McLachlan's City of Angels)

Arms of the Angels

[Nuriko's POV]

"Tamahome…" This word hardly expresses all the confusion I'm feeling right now, Tama-baby. It's only the start, but as I see you, lying there, the strongest of us so weak, I can't think of anything else to say. I think of when I met you, you were an idiot to risk your own neck to save Miaka's, but you did it because you loved her. You still do, I suppose, but not for long, Tamahome. I can tell you're getting closer to the light. "Tamahome…?" Why can't I say anything else? My face is wet. I can't stop crying. You were, are…you are my friend, Tama-baby. Even after you're gone, you'll still be my friend. "Oh…Tama-baby!" I'm clinging to you. Clinging to your neck…why? I know they're coming to get you, but…why am I so hesitant to let go?

"Nuriko…" You sound so weak. You were never weak. You were always so strong…you were so strong for Miaka. She could have chosen any of us and we would have happily loved her in return, but she chose you. She loves you. Not me, or Chichiri, or Tasuki, or Chiriko, or Mitsukake. Not even his majesty, who proclaimed his love for her more than once. She chose you. Don't you understand that? Even if you don't give a damn about the rest of us, stay for Miaka. "Nuriko…take care of Miaka for me?"

"What're you talking about?" I straighten up and look you in the eye. I refuse to admit that you're dying, even though I'm all too aware, I won't tell you that. "Stop talking like that, Tamahome. You…you're not going anywhere. So…shut up and just let it go."

"Nuriko-"

"No." I turn from you and start to walk out. "I won't do it. I can't do it. She doesn't love me. I can't take care of her, not like you can…" I walk out of the room, I can tell you had more to say, but if I stay to listen…I'm going to say something that would not be…good. As I exit the room, I meet Tasuki's eyes and, almost as if we both were making a silent agreement. I know now, Tamahome, I'm never going to see you alive again. In the event you make it through the night, Miaka will want to be alone with you till the end. Good-bye, my friend. May Suzaku's light guide you.

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance,
for a break that would make it okay.

There's always some reason
to feel not good enough,
and it's hard, at the end of the day.

I need some distraction,
Oh, beautiful release.
Memories seep from my veins.

Let me be empty,
Oh, and weightless,
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight.

[Tasuki's POV]

Man, Tama. This is depressing. I hate it when people die. Yes, I know I'm usually the one to kill people, what with the Rekka Shin'en and all that, but I still hate it when people die. This is perfect, not only am I losing a friend, but this is going to make Miaka cry. I hate it when she cries…

"How ya holdin' up there, Tama?" I try and sound cheerful…man this must sound awful to ya. I'm such a bad actor.

"Well…" Ya look like yer thinking about it. Of course yer thinking about it! I am such an idiot! Can I get more self-condescending? "I…am…"

"Miaka's gonna cry an awful lot when ya go, ya know." Why must I state the obvious in a crisis?

"Nuriko told me she wouldn't take care of her when I'm gone…" Aw! Tama, why are ya telling me this? "She told me that Miaka didn't love her…that she'd still be just as sad."

"Well, Nuriko's bein' a bitch." I nod resolutely. "I'll look after Miaka for you, if Hotohori don't beat me to it. Don't worry, Tama. Yer Miaka's in good hands."

You laugh and for a minute, I almost forget that yer sick. It's almost as if yer gonna stand up and walk out to see Miaka for yerself. I wish it were true, Tama…

"Thanks, Tasuki."

I nod and leave the room; I think Hotohori wants to talk to you anyway.

In the arms of the angel,
fly away from here,
from this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you feel.

You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
may you find some comfort here.

[Hotohori's POV]

I refuse to allow Miaka to be hurt. As soon as Tasuki comes out of that door, I am going to march in there and tell you that, Tamahome. You've already caused Miaka so much pain; it's time to let you know all you've done to her. Tasuki comes out and I prepare to enter, but someone stops me. It's Miaka!

"H-Hotohori, can I talk to him after you?" Poor girl, her eyes are full of mourning already.

I nod slowly. She deserves a proper good-bye to you. Then I enter your room.

"Tamahome?" I call. "You're hurting her."

"I know. I don't mean to…this is still sort of surreal. Hotohori, talk to Nuriko for me? She…she's really upset about this."

"We all are."

"Yeah, but you guys don't take it out by not taking care of Miaka."

"She told you that?"

"Yeah…so…could you just talk to her for me?" You look pitiful, Tamahome. "Please?"

"Yes…I will do this. Miaka wants to talk to you, be gentle when you tell her what's going on?"

"Your majesty…Miaka's known the whole time."

"She knew something was wrong a long time before we knew what, I couldn't just not tell her what was wrong when we did find out."

"She's coming in next, she'll probably cry a lot." I'm not sure what to say to you. I'm the emperor, I shouldn't have this problem, but I do. "I'll let you talk to her now."

"Hotohori…?" I look back at you…you're smiling. "Thank you…for loving Miaka like you do. Take care of her? Or at least make sure Tasuki takes care of her."

"Of course."

So tired of the straight line,
and everywhere you turn,
there's vultures and thieves at your back.

The storm keeps on twisting.
Keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack.

Don't make no difference,
escape one last time.
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
Oh, this glorious sadness,
that brings me to my knees.

[Miaka's POV]

It's my turn now. I get to talk to Tamahome! Oh, Tamahome, we'll find a way to get you better. We have to find a way to get you better. I enter your room and I see you. My breath catches in my throat. You look so…tired, Tamahome. The only time you ever looked tired was when we found your family, slaughtered by Suboshi. Why do you look so tired, Tamahome?

"T…Tamahome?"

"Miaka…" You sit up, gesture for me to come over to you and sit down. "M…Miaka, let Tasuki and the others keep you happy? Don't ever stop smiling…"

"Tamahome…what are you talking about?" I know, but I won't ever admit to it. "You're going to be fine, Mitsukake will be back soon with the Holy Water form Ti Yi-Jun soon. You'll be better then!"

"He won't…make it in time…Miaka." Tamahome…you poor thing, your having trouble breathing. "He's here for me Miaka. I…I was waiting to…to say good bye to you…"

"Who's here for you, Tamahome?" I ask you. You struggle for breath; I can tell you're trying to stay for longer…oh! Tamahome! Stay with me…please stay!

"He's here, Miaka." You tell me, your eyes are shining with tears, and I know that I'm crying. Tamahome, don't leave me…please! "He wants to take me now. I'm so sorry…" You've fallen silent, your eyes are blank, and your fingers relax around my hand. Tamahome…are you really gone? No…you can't be…I won't let myself admit that.

In the arms of the angel,
fly away from here,
from this dark, cold hotel room,
and the endlessness that you feel.

You are pulled from the wreckage,
Of your silent reverie.
You're in the arms of the angel,
may you find some comfort here.

"Tama…home…" I scream. "Chichiri! Tasuki! Hotohori! Nuriko! Someone! Help! Tamahome, he's…"

"What's wrong, Miaka?" Nuriko…its Nuriko…

"Tamahome!" I yell at her. "It's Tamahome! He won't wake up! He won't answer me!"

"Miaka…" There's sadness in Nuriko's eyes that I know all too well. It's like a fraction of what I'm feeling right now, Tamahome. How could you leave me? How? "Miaka…it's too late to help Tamahome now. Come on now. Let His majesty take you back to the palace."

"No!" I shriek. "He's not dead! I want to stay with Tamahome! Nuriko…let me go! Let me stay with Tamahome…I need to stay with Tamahome. He needs me! Nuriko!"

"Stop it, Miaka!" Nuriko commands, slapping me on the cheek. "Tamahome is dead. Now, come with me."

"B…but Tamahome..."

"Tasuki will take care of Tamahome. Now, please, Miaka? You're starting to scare me."

"Tama…home…is he really gone, Nuriko?" I stop fighting her. She nods at me.

"I'm sorry, Miaka. If I could undo it I would."

"I…didn't get to say…good bye." I sob. Tamahome, why'd you have to leave me? Why?

"Nuriko?" It's Hotohori, Tamahome; Hotohori's going to take me home. Back to my world, Tamahome. Isn't wonderful, Tamahome? Isn't it? Tamahome…you're never going to answer me again. "Is she okay?"

"See for yourself, your majesty."

I'm not okay! Tamahome's gone; I'll never be okay again. I'll never see Tamahome smile, laugh, or even speak or breathe again…Tamahome, I'm going to miss you. Yui will too, I know…

"Time to go now, Miaka." Hotohori tells me. "Time to take you back to your own world."

"Don't want to go knowing Tamahome's dead…" I whisper. "Don't want to go knowing I'll never see him again…"

"Miaka…" It's Nuriko again, Tamahome. She's worried about me…I don't want my friend to worry… "Time to go…"

{Tokyo Japan} [Still Miaka's POV]

I'm home, Tamahome. I'm home and I feel empty without you. I'll never see you again…never hear, or even read about you…

"Hey, Miaka!" Keisuke. He wants to cheer me up, I can tell. "Miaka, I want you to meet out new transfer student from China." He grins and drags me over to meet this new person. "This is Taka, he's in my class this year."

"Tama…home…?" Is the only word I can get out.

He smiles, this Taka. "You mean like the southern constellation? Yeah, I'm into that ancient astrology stuff too. We should go star watching sometime, I could name them all to you."

"You have no idea how much I love those southern constellations…" I whisper. "Keisuke, have you mentioned anything about the book to him?"

"Nope." He's smiling. Tamahome, this Taka boy…he looks just like you, except he doesn't have the mark of Oni on his forehead, as you did.

"Well…" He says as he and Keisuke start to walk off. "I'll see you around, Miaka."

"I love you, Tamahome!" I call after him. He turns and stares at me for a moment.

"We'll go look at them one night." He promises. "You've got my word."

"You're word's as good as gold." I whisper. I've found you, Tamahome. I've found your reincarnation…Taka.

You're in the arms of the angel,
may you find some comfort here.

~*END*~