Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Choices ❯ Three ( Chapter 3 )

Gojyo was standing at the wall. It was very uncomfortable with the chains around his wrists, but he hardly noticed. He felt more lonely than he ever had done before. His fellow comrades must have been given their choices by now.

The Goddess of Fate stood before him once again.

"It's all up to your 'friends' now."

"What choices did you give them?" Gojyo tried to sound just a little interested, as if he had asked what weather it was outside, but he couldn't hide the fear in his voice.

"I don't think I'll tell you that. You can wonder about it while you await your death sentence. It's time for me to go and find out their answers."

"Wait, can you…?" Gojyo felt silent.

"What?"

"Nothing." He had almost asked her to come back and tell him what each one of them had answered, but he found he really didn't want to know. If he was to die, he didn't want to know which one, or if it was all of them, who sentenced him to death. Besides, if it pleased the demi god she would probably tell him whether he wanted it or not, if she thought it would give him more grief.

"Don't worry. I'll be back soon enough." She laughed a little and disappeared.

---

Hakkai was staring at the doors. How could anyone have to make such a choice? It would have been easier if she had asked him to die for Gojyo. He could have done that. All his anger that earlier had made him so mad at Gojyo was gone. Die for Gojyo, yes. But this… The rest of his life in that living nightmare? Reliving what Cho Gonou had done, but with Cho Hakkai's feelings and soul.

Or he could have Kanan back. Hakkai didn't doubt that the Goddess of Fate could make it happen. But in that case he would never see Gojyo again. He would leave him to suffer a painful death.

What if Gojyo had the choice between himself ending up dead while letting him, Hakkai, live with Kanan, or stay alive while Hakkai had to deal with the nightmares? He already knew the answer; Gojyo would sacrifice himself. In that case you'll only do what he wishes if you choose to live with Kanan, an evil voice inside him whispered.

He remembered himself running through the forest, falling, wounded, on the path, while the rain was pouring down. When he woke up he was inside Gojyo's house, in his bed. Gojyo had found him, picked him up, a stranger, taken care of him while he was unconscious. He had had a doctor have a look at him, and even given up on his smoking while he nursed him.

Other memories, all concerning Gojyo, seemed so bright. The most brilliant; he and Gojyo found they loved each other.

"Have you made your choice?" The voice was once again heard in the little room. "You have exactly one minute now, to walk through one of the doors."

Kanan. Gojyo. He loved them both. A peaceful life with Kanan, never to see Gojyo again, or a nightmarish life, but with Gojyo at his side. Gojyo would help him through it. After all, it was Gojyo who first managed to make Hakkai smile genuine smiles; he wouldn't give up this time either. And he had already accepted Kanan's death. He had to trust Goku and Sanzo to choose Gojyo, and he himself had to give Gojyo a chance to live. If he didn't, Hakkai knew he could never have a peaceful life with anybody.

"I have made my choice."

Hakkai walked to the right door, opened it, turned to the voice and said simply, "I love Gojyo." The he took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold.

---

The demi god stood in front of Gojyo.

"For the first time ever, someone has chosen a half-breed's life before his own wellbeing." Her voice was furious and she looked dangerous. "According to the rules of this game, I have to tell you what side they choose. Cho Hakkai, apparently seems to believe you two are friends. What a fool! He'll regret this, when the others sentence you to death."

Hakkai. He had chosen him, Gojyo, before himself. Gojyo fought not to let his feelings be seen.

"What did he choose between?" He tried to sound calm.

"That, I'm not going to tell you!" She disappeared again.

Gojyo couldn't hold back his tears anymore. If he was going to die, at least it wouldn't be Hakkai who made it happen. He only hoped that it wouldn't be too hard on him. If he survived this, he'll make sure that Hakkai would live a happy life, whatever his friend had had to do to give him a chance to live. What if he didn't survive? What would happen to Hakkai then? Gojyo cried, both in relief and in worry.

---

Goku was pacing the cave furiously. His usually so cheery mood was replaced by a rage he didn't seem to be able to control. He wondered if this feeling was like the one that came over him when his limiter was off his head.

Damned that goddess. How did she think he should be able to put on these chains and stay in this cave, again? Like 500 years weren't enough? But of course, she didn't want him to do that. She wanted to kill Gojyo. But Goku knew that if he didn't put on these handcuffs he would feel like he had been the one doing the killing. Which in an indirect way, it would be. Damned that goddess.

The cave. He didn't want to think about those years he had spent in it. Never a sunbeam had reached him. Cold, hungry, lonely, that's all he could remember. If he choose the cave again - he shuddered at the thought - how long must he be there this time? The rest of his life? And how long time was that? He hadn't aged during those years in the cave. Maybe if he choose the cave it would be for eternity this time? No, no… He couldn't do it. Not even for Gojyo.

Gojyo, that perverted kappa. Always calling him a stupid monkey, always fighting with him. Goku smiled when he thought about their fights. They always tried to steal each other's food, and their fights in the back seat of Hakuryuu… He had to laugh. It was fun, teasing Gojyo. He was like a big brother. They were all like a family, and families don't abandon its own members.

But if he choose the cave, the family would still have lost him, Goku. Would they search for him? If Gojyo knew what Goku had done for him, would he go looking for him? Would Sanzo, would he come looking for him again? Hakkai maybe, he was always so kind.

What happened if someone else made a choice that got Gojyo killed? Goku's head started to ache, this was way too complicated. He couldn't start to think about the others right now. All he could do was to decide which choice he should make himself. That was hard enough, only… He sighed. Suddenly he knew what he had to do. It couldn't be helped, but it was all that he could do.

"What is your decision?" He heard the despised voice above him again.

Goku was calm now when he had made his decision. He had to trust his friends, like Gojyo must trust him now. Determined he walked to the handcuffs, put them around his wrists and locked them.

---

Gojyo was once again facing the Goddess of Fate. This time she looked even more furious than the last time she had paid him a short visit. That gave Gojyo some hope. Someone else had put his life first?

"What?" He demanded. "Do I have another friend?"

"Yes!" She spat at him. Obviously she was both angry and scared. Scared that maybe she wouldn't get the chance to kill him, Gojyo thought.

"That little brat, Son Goku…" She was unable to continue the sentence. "I'll be back!" She vanished.

Goku, too. Gojyo had to smile. They do love me. 'Well, Sanzo, now it's up to you. I wonder if you know that?' It wasn't pleasant to think about. If he were to die, he would know it was because of Sanzo. He couldn't help but having some doubts. Sanzo was a very proud man. It must be easy for the demi god to find a thousand choices Sanzo rather would choose than Gojyo's pathetic life. Somehow, Gojyo still felt warm inside. He wasn't alone. Even if he had to die, he would die knowing he had two friends that loved him enough to chose him before themselves.

---

Sanzo sat staring up at the ceiling. He, bowing to Kougaiji? No way. I'm sorry Gojyo, but that's not an option. He snorted. It was too bad. He didn't feel any anger anymore over that stupid kappa, but Genjo Sanzo bowing to another man? Hell, no. He had made a promise never to do that, and he was going to keep that promise.

Maybe, if it had only been about handing over the Maten scripture? Eeh, maybe not. They needed that sutra. How could they keep this journey up, if they didn't have any sutras at all?

What about Gojyo? Didn't they need him? Oh, shut the fuck up! What they needed was a possibility to continue this journey and stop the revival of Gyumaoh. Some sacrifices were only to be expected on such a difficult journey. As a matter of fact, he was surprised no one had been lost before this. And with no one he meant Gojyo, since he was the weakest. Only half a youkai, without any special powers. He stands his grounds in front of an army of full youkai and you know it. Man, that voice inside him was really annoying.

This was an easy choice. He only had to walk through that door and he would be handed the Seiten scripture. Then the three of them could continue this journey, with two powerful sutras and no perverted kappa. That would be wonderful, right? Right? Right.

If the others had been weak and chosen something bad for themselves just to try to save Gojyo's life, well, with two sutras he would be more than prepared to make this journey alone. He didn't need anybody else, and he definitely didn't have to explain to them why he chose like he did.

Goku and Hakkai. What choices did they have to do? Had they chosen? What did they chose? What had happened to them? He snorted at himself. Like he cared. They had to make their own decisions, just like he did. He wasn't anyone's guardian.

His hands automatically searched for his cigarettes, then he remembered the empty package. A flash of Gojyo offering him one of his own passed by in his mind. Well, he couldn't bow to anyone else just because of some cigarettes, could he? Besides, he had paid back those cigarettes.

"Have you reached your decision?" The voice of the Goddess of Fate sounded angry for some reason.

"Of course I have. I made my decision before you left the room last time. You can take him away." Sanzo pointed at Kougaiji who once again was standing in the room a few meters in front of the door.

"I'd love too, but I can't until you have left this room through that door."

Sanzo rose. He started the walk to the door. Strange how heavy his legs felt. He must have been sitting badly. Gojyo's smiling face crossed his mind again. What the hell… He took a few other steps, he was now right beside Kougaiji who looked at him curiously. Had that damned goddess told him about the choices?

"What are you staring at, youkai?" Sanzo snapped at the young man.

"You. I'm wondering what the hell this is all about."

"None of your business." Sanzo managed to pass Kougaiji, finally he reached the door. He stretched out his hand to open it.

Flash, Gojyo fighting with Goku at the back seat, flash, Gojyo sleeping leaning against a tree trunk, flash, Gojyo's head in front of his own pulled gun, flash, Gojyo helping Hakkai bandaging his arm, flash, Gojyo saving his life.

Sanzo trembled, he couldn't make his arm open that door. Instead, he turned around. Slowly he walked the few meters back to the youkai, and without understanding himself at all, he took off his Maten sutra, offered it to Kougaiji who accepted it, stunned, and then… Genjo Sanzo bowed to his enemy.

---

Gojyo's chains unlocked and he was free. He was alone in the room. The Goddess of Fate hadn't returned yet. Gojyo sank to the floor, trying to get a grip of himself. This must mean… Even Sanzo. His heart was aching, but it was a good ache. They all were his friends.

He suddenly raised his head. What had they sacrificed to save him? He must find them and help them. Gojyo searched for a door, but couldn't find any.

"Hey, goddess! Let me out of here!" Gojyo yelled. "What has happened to Hakkai, Goku and Sanzo?"

The demi god's voice answered from somewhere above him. This time she didn't show herself. The voice was calm again, or maybe resigned.

"They're fine. Another rule of this game is that if all three of the half-breeds companions choose the half-breed's life, not only is he saved, but the sacrifices the friends have done will also be undone. This rule you'll never be able to talk about with anyone but your… friends." She clearly had some difficulties understanding that a half-breed could have friends, Gojyo thought.

"Now, all you have to do is walk out of that door and you'll be free. You'll meet your companions outside."

A door opened in the wall. Gojyo approached it carefully and looked out. He saw Hakuryuu standing in his jeep-form further down on a slope. Goku was sitting in front of it, eating from a sack that apparently was filled with food. Hakkai sat on the ground looking down and Sanzo lay in the shadow of the jeep, sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep. Gojyo stepped out.

As soon as he crossed the threshold the castle disappeared. There was only the hill behind him. Goku looked up and saw him.

"Gojyo!" Goku came running, throwing himself at Gojyo, hugging him violently.

Gojyo couldn't help but laugh. "Oi, you stupid monkey, what are you doing?"

Goku looked up at Gojyo's scarlet eyes, still keeping his arms around the kappa's body. "I thought she would kill you. I was suddenly out of the cave and then I thought you were going to be killed!"

"The cave?" Gojyo's voice was full of concern, and he returned the hug gently. "Goku. What choice did she give you?"

Goku lowered his head. "She took me back to the cave where Sanzo found me, and said that if I wanted you to live I had to stay there, alone. Again." The last word was hardly more than a whisper.

Gojyo could hardly believe his ears. Goku had made such an offer for his sake?

"Goku." He almost choked. "Thank you."

Goku raised his head, and let go of Gojyo. He was all cheery and smiling again. "Hey, you perverted cockroach. You're not crying, are you?"

"Of course not, stupid monkey. Why would I cry for someone with such a small brain as you?"

Hakkai had risen and stood beside them.

"Gojyo."

Gojyo reached out with his hand and gently stroke his friends cheek.

"What choice did she give you, Hakkai?"

Hakkai looked away. "I'll tell you later." He sounded so sad that Gojyo became worried. But Hakkai's eyes went back to meet Gojyo's, and when he smiled Gojyo was relieved to see that it was a genuine smile and not one of his fake ones.

"Let's wake Sanzo up and get away from here."

---

In the evening they made camp near some rocks in the desert. The sack Goku had been eating from had been found beside Hakuryuu when they all returned from the castle. It was filled with more than enough food to take them to the next village. The jeep had been standing next to a well, so they also had enough water.

Later that night, Gojyo and Hakkai talked. Hakkai told Gojyo all about the choices he had had to make.

"It must have been terrible to have to make such decisions. You guys must have had a much harder time than me."

"You were the one facing a painful death," Hakkai protested.

"Compared to what you and Goku was prepared to sacrifice for me, death is nothing." Gojyo looked thoughtful.

"What is it?" Hakkai asked.

"I was only wondering what choices Sanzo had."

"He's never going to tell you or anyone else."

"I know. But that only means it was something that was very hard for him to do, and that makes me even more grateful to him. Not more grateful than to you and Goku I mean. Just…"

"I know what you mean. You don't have to explain. Sanzo is Sanzo, that's all there is to it. He will never admit why he chose like this, but we all know, and he knows that we know."

"The question is, does he know?"

---

There hadn't been any fighting this evening. Nothing serious anyway. Sanzo lay beside the fire looking up at the stars. He wondered why he had chosen the way he had done. It felt like the right thing, though. He found that he wouldn't have it another way, so he was glad he had been unable to open the door. There were no regrets, especially not since the Goddess of Fate had assured him that Kougaiji wouldn't remember what had happened in that room.

"What if they don't like half-breeds in the next village, Sanzo?" Gojyo kneeled beside him, offering him one of his last two cigarettes. "Are you going to shoot me and dump me in the desert then?"

Sanzo took the cigarette and let Gojyo light it. He inhaled the smoke with satisfaction. It wasn't his favorite brand, but still, it was nicotine.

"No," he answered Gojyo's question.

There was a moment of silence.

"Sanzo."

"What?" Sanzo said grumpily.

"Thank you."

"Shut up, you bloody kappa."

Gojyo smiled and left for his blankets.

owari