Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Always There For You ❯ 18 ( Chapter 18 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Yeah...I still don't own GW...

Always There For You Chapter 18:

One month had passed. One month had washed away since Derek had kissed Rain. And, in all that time, neither of them had been able to talk about that afternoon. Things had remained awkward between them. Neither was sure how to bring it up. So, in all that time, they had silently agreed to act as normal as possible without mentioning the mishap.

Shelly had not shown himself in all that time either. The Yuy's were starting to grow both relaxed and anxious. They were slowly getting used to sharing the large mansion with the Wales family. There was enough room that several families could have lived there comfortably. Yet, at the same time, they grew weary as no news turned up about Shelly's whereabouts.

The former pilots and the Peacecraft family had been working extremely hard, long hours to track down the psycho; but, to no avail. It was as though Shelly had dropped off the earth after his late night threat to Rain.

The girl was happy to be less paranoid. She felt safe at the Wales house. Chelsea was like a sister to her, and she adored the entire family. That, and she had more pressing teenage troubles to deal with.

It was night. Rain was lying in her room at the Wales residence, lost in her own train of thought. For the entire month following the semi-pool party, Rain had been tormenting herself with thoughts of Derek.

Staring up at the dark ceiling, she sighed for the umpteenth time that night. Looking to her left at the clock on the nightstand, she found that it was 3 am. It was becoming a bad habit; her stress was depriving her of sleep and it frustrated her.

The teen had debated sleeping in Chelsea's room that night, thinking the girl could talk to her and she would at least be able take her mind off things. Any moment she was alone, she thought of Derek and how she had wronged him. The scene kept replaying over and over in her mind until she found herself lying in bed, awake, just like that particular night.

Rain had wanted so badly to get advice from Chelsea. But at the same time, she had not wanted to rain on her best friend's parade. Chelsea had been quite excited for the previous few weeks, talking about Jason and the latest adorable things he had done or said.

It was true that Rain was happy for her friend, but she was a little jealous of how simple Chelsea had it. It seemed that the only problem between her and Jason was that they were not officially dating yet. There were no mistakes between them, no idiotic misunderstandings.

Rolling onto her side and glaring at the wall, Rain began to pout. It was hard enough scolding herself over screwing with Derek's head. It was even worse knowing that she was not giving her one hundred percent happiness to her best friend's current successes; nor was she truly helping her friend out as she should have been.

The guilt was eating away at her. She felt guilty for how she had treated Derek, guilty for not responding, guilty for not explaining, and guilty for not helping her best friend out with her own boy problems.

Furrowing her brow in frustration, Rain replayed the past events in her mind for what she knew was at least the hundredth time that night.

' "Do you really want to know?"

"Only if you want to tell me." And then he leaned down and kissed me...' Rain thought, tapping her lip with her index finger.

"I am SUCH a MORON!" She said in exasperation as she buried her face in her pillow. As if her mind were not plagued as it was, the object of her stress was staying in the same house that very night.

Rain had a lot of trouble trying not to barge into Jack's room, drag Derek out and plant a kiss on him. The girl giggled at the thought, picturing the look on his face.

'Yeah right. He probably hates me now.' Rain thought, sobering up once again.

With a defeated sigh, Rain flopped her head back against her pillow and closed her eyes. She had been getting an average of four hours of sleep per night. If she did not get some sleep that night, she worried she would end up sick.

Frustration getting the better of her, Rain threw back her blankets and got out of the bed. She walked to the door and flung it open, determined to talk to Chelsea, regardless of what time of night it was. She needed to get at least some guilt off of her chest.

The brunette girl jumped in fright as she nearly collided with someone standing in the doorway. Upon closer inspection, she recognized that it was Derek, standing just outside her door with an equally surprised look on his face.

"Shit you scared me!" Rain hissed in the quiet hallway.

"Sorry." Derek said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture he had picked up from his father.

"What are you doing here?" Rain asked, crossing her arms and glaring daggers at Derek, a trait she had picked up from her own father.

"I wanted to talk to you." Derek said, frowning under her accusing stare.

"At three in the morning? How long have you been standing there?" Rain asked, her eyes remaining icy.

"I couldn't sleep... I've been here about five minutes maybe. I was debating whether or not to wake you up. Did you hear me walk up or something?" Derek replied.

"No...I've been awake. Was going to talk to Chelsea." Rain said, finally softening her gaze.

"Oh. I'll go then." Derek said.

"No...you're awake, I'm awake. It'd be better if I didn't wake Chelsea up." Rain said with a sigh, rubbing her tired eyes. She stepped aside, allowing him entrance.

"What did you need to talk about?" Rain asked as Derek sat down on the edge of her bed while she closed the door. Sitting beside him, she looked carefully at him in the dim light from the open windows.

"I just...wanted to talk to you. Since I couldn't sleep." Derek said softly. Rain felt a pang of sorrow hit her gut. Before the whole kissing incident, Rain and Derek had talked on the phone late into the night if one of them could not sleep. Luckily, both teens had their own phone lines so that their parents had never been able to scold them for it.

"Oh." Was all Rain could say in response.

"You OK?" Derek asked, his friendly instincts kicking in.

"Huh?" Rain had been working off the looks of apathy and her heart sank when she remembered how easily Derek could read her emotions.

"You just...looked stressed. What did you need to talk to Chelsea about?"

"Oh...I've...been a bad friend." Rain finally said, plucking at the blanket beneath her.

"What do you mean?"

"She's so excited about Jason...and I have been so apathetic about it. I feel guilty for not caring as much. I mean, she's one of my best friends. I should be so excited for her...but I just...get annoyed or don't care whenever she brings it up."

"Why do you think that is?"

"I dunno...maybe I am jealous she's happy...or maybe I just wish life were so simple. She complains about how they are not officially together. I tell her to just ask him out already and she goes on and on about how she thinks she would be rushing into it. So...I just want to tell her that's life. I mean, you can't expect your first boyfriends to be the ones you marry!" Rain said, waving her hands for emphasis.

"I sure hope not." Derek laughed lightly, wrinkling his nose at the thought of some of his first girlfriends.

"That would mean I would be married to Jack...and you would end up marrying someone like Jennifer Pike." Rain said, trying to recall the name of Derek's first girlfriend that she knew of.

"Eeeh." Derek shuddered dramatically at the memory of his first girlfriend from his sophomore year. Jennifer had turned out to be a completely bitchy slut. It had seemed that the girl got some sick pleasures out of treating Derek like her lapdog.

At first, she had claimed to be suicidal over Derek, so he had refused to break up with her for the fear of her rash behavior. It had all been a ploy though. A cruel ploy to keep Derek in her maniacal clutches.

Jack had been the first to find out the truth. He had been trying to talk some sense into Jennifer when she had come on to him. They had been at Derek's house one day, watching a movie in Derek's room when Derek had left to get drinks.

While Derek was out of the room, Jack had attempted to talk to the girl. He had tried to convince her that there was more to life than the people you dated; it was not worth it to kill herself over Derek.

At the time, Jack had felt guilty. He knew Derek really liked the girl. But, he also knew that Jennifer would be really mean and nasty to him. Jack had never understood how his best friend put up with it. That is, until Jack had learned about Jennifer's supposed suicide attempts.

By then, Jack just hoped to get his friend away from the crazy girl. And, he knew the only way to do that was by convincing Jennifer that there was more to life than Derek Maxwell.

In reality, Jennifer frightened Jack. He had had a feeling that she was too controlled. Her random fits of anger and depression seemed odd. It had always made him wonder whether or not her emotional torment about Derek had all been an act to keep him in her control.

That one day, fate had helped Jack out it seemed. In the middle of their conversation, Jennifer had jumped him and told him to fuck her before Derek came back. Both shocked and appalled, Jack had shoved her off of him, making her fall quite painfully to the floor. It was around that time that Derek had walked back in.

The result had been a big fight between all three of them. When Jack had tried telling Derek what had happened, Derek had not known whom to believe. It ended with Jack being kicked out and the both of them not speaking for a week.

Things were not resolved until a week later when Derek had mistakenly walked in on Jennifer screwing one of their high school's varsity football players. The girl's parents had said she was upstairs studying. They were completely oblivious to what was really going on and had unknowingly sent Derek up to surprise the girl.

Derek had been the one surprised. After screaming many obscenities, Derek had stormed out of the house realizing how stupid he had been for mistrusting Jack.

Rain had known all of it from both sides. Both Derek and Jack had told her their versions of the story over time. She had attempted to be the mediator, but it had not worked too well. In the end, she was glad they had worked things out on their own.

"I'm glad Jack was able to help me get away from that bitch." Derek said, rolling his eyes at the memory.

"Yeah..." Rain said.

"I miss talking to you. You know we haven't talked like this since..." Derek trailed off, unsure if he wanted to hit that particular topic.

"Since what?" Rain asked, sick of beating around the bush. She knew he must have thought about the whole ordeal a lot too. It was time to just discuss it and move on.

"Nevermind." Derek mumbled.

"No. We need to talk about it." Rain said, trying to catch his gaze in the darkness.

"Yeah..." Derek sighed and fiddled with the fabric of her blanket.

"I...I'm sorry." Rain said weakly.

"No, I'm sorry... I shouldn't have kissed you... when I didn't know..." Derek continued to look at the blanket.

"But-" Rain started.

"It's OK really. I shouldn't have just assumed." Derek said, cutting her off.

The two fell into silence. Rain felt her heart rate picking up. He still misunderstood. He thought she had meant there were no feelings there. She had always liked him. It had simply taken her that long to realize how much she really cared about him. And then, finally presented the opportunity to tell him, she had frozen up.

"Do...do you remember what I said to you...at that Christmas party at my uncle's house...?" Rain asked.

"You didn't want me to be sad." Derek replied, giving her a curious stare. "I'm not sad if tha-"

"That's not what I meant," Rain said, cutting him off. "I meant that...I realized that day...how much you mean to me...As a friend." Rain finished.

The hopeful feeling Derek had been getting had suddenly died. He felt as though his world had been shattered. He wondered why she was stressing it. How could she so unknowingly wring his heart out like a dirty dishtowel?

"What's wrong?" Rain asked. She had not been done with her train of thought and was sidetracked by Derek's sudden sad look.

"Nothing. I get it now." Derek said, clenching his jaw.

"Get what? I wasn't done explaining..." Rain said, clearly confused.

"Why are you doing this?" Derek asked, finally looking up at her.

"Doing what? I am trying to make amends if you would just let-"

"No I get it. You can stop. I get what I did was wrong. And I get that you don't want me to be sad. But you're not helping. I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Derek said through clenched teeth.

Rain's eyes widened in horror as she realized what he was getting at. Had Derek not turned away at that exact moment, he would have seen it and not reacted the same way he did.

"I'm going to bed." Derek grumbled, walking to the door.

"No Derek wait. You didn't let me explain." Rain said.

"You don't have to." He said as he opened the door and walked out.

Looking back inside, Derek gave Rain a relaxed look, even though his eyes were filled with sorrow.

"I'll be fine. I promise. Now that I know...I can finally move on." Derek smiled falsely at Rain and reached to close the door.

"Night." Derek whispered before he shut the door.

Tears sprang to Rain's eyes. She could not react fast enough. Her mind was working overtime again. The damage had been done. She had screwed up again.

Leaping to her feet, Rain rushed to the door and jerked it open. It had only been a split second after Derek had closed the door. He was still standing outside, a shocked look on his face.

"Derek!" Rain wailed as she ran towards him.

"Rain! No!" Derek yelled. The girl stopped half a foot in front of him and looked onward at him with blurry, confused, eyes.

"Wha..." Rain whispered as she tried to follow the boy's gaze. Whipping her entire body around in a dizzying rush, Rain's jaw dropped. Shelly stood before her, aiming a gun point-blank-range at her head.

Closing her eyes tightly, Rain was overwhelmed by fear. Her mind went blank. She was too frightened to be worried or to feel bad about her life ending so soon. There was only one thing that floated to the surface of her mind: her father.

"I'm sorry Daddy." Rain said through clenched teeth as she braced herself for the impending pain of the bullets.

A stinging pain sliced past the left side of Rain's ribcage. With a startled cry, she fell backwards into Derek's arms, colors dancing before her eyes.

Blinking rapidly to clear her vision, Rain forced her mind to focus. Looking down, she saw that she had knocked Derek over when she had fallen.

Pushing herself up slowly, Rain hissed again as a stinging pain rippled through her entire body, stemming from her left side. Placing her hand there, Rain found it moist and sticky.

In the dim light of the hallway, Rain glanced at her hand shining with dark liquid. Blood. Her mind reeling, she tried to think of something to do, some way to react to the blood on her hands.

Turning around with her hand still suspended before her eyes, Rain did the first thing that came to her mind. She screamed.

After a split second pause, Rain heard footsteps running down the long hall, towards them.

"RAIN!" Heero shouted from the end of the hall.

"You fucking bitch! Next time I will get you, not your retarded boyfriend." Shelly said before he took off running for the back stairwell.

"What?" Rain choked out. Tearing her eyes away to look at the crumpled form beside her, Rain felt her heart stop beating.

Derek lay motionless on the floor. A dark shadow was growing around him. Rain could feel a warm, gooey substance lapping at her bare feet. Her stomach heaved when she realized it was Derek's blood.

Falling to her knees, Rain scooped Derek's head into her lap. She understood then why there had been so little damage done to her. The bullet had grazed her side and had hit Derek instead.

Tears were streaming down the girl's cheeks. Cradling the older boy's head in her lap, Rain hugged him tightly and him rocked back and forth. She was so trapped in fright, she was unsure what to do.

"Oh God...Oh god... Derek? Derek? Oh Kami-sama..." Rain choked out, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." Rain said, her voice cracking as she choked back another sob. Derek blinked once, and looked at her with an odd expression. It was mixed between pain and delirium.

"Derek?" Rain's voice rang in uncertainty. She was feeling tired. Unsure what else to do, she leaned back against the wall for support while she fought back her exhaustion. "Derek..." Her eyes were closing. Her tears were slowing as she lost a battle to fatigue.

"Why're you...crying?" Derek asked weakly before his eyes slid closed and he fell limp in her arms. Jerking herself awake, Rain began shaking the limp form in her arms.

"No...No, wake up! Wake up!"

When his eyes remained closed, all the adrenaline left Rain's body, making her feel ten times more exhausted. Her control was slipping more and more as the seconds dragged by.

From that point onward, everything in Rain's world seemed to be moving in slow motion. She barely noticed as her father touched her shoulder, trying to get her attention. His voice sounded as though it were underwater.

It did not phase her in the slightest when she was suddenly surrounded by people. Quatre was yelling something into a cell phone while Heero was still trying to get Rain's attention.

Chelsea stood nearby, leaning against Jack as tears streamed down both of their faces. Relena stood beside them, her lips drawn tight as she clasped Dorothy's hands in her own, trying to hold on to what little bravery she had.

"Rain...Rain...the ambulance is on its way. I need you to let go of Derek. I have to check both of your wounds."

"Is he dead...?" Rain spoke so softly, that Heero nearly missed what she had said.

"I don't know. I need to find out. So, I need you to let go." Heero said gently.

"I...didn't...get to explain...that I...love..." Rain's eyes slid shut, her sentence forgotten. The girl's vision was filled with darkness as the world faded away into the abyss of her mind.

*****

Snapping her eyes open, Rain stared dizzily at the wall in front of her. A blue wall; the wall of her room at the Wales residence.

Shivering and drawing in quick breaths to slow her racing heart, Rain tried to process her surroundings. Her head hurt, her back hurt, her whole body felt exhausted.

It had been a nightmare. Nothing more than a horrible dream. Shelly had not really returned. Derek had not been shot. It had all been a cruel trick of her subconscious.

It had seemed so real. The images were haunting the edges of Rain's mind. She burrowed into her blankets and tried to fight off the cool chill from her sweat-covered body.

Rain jumped with surprise as a knock sounded at the door. She could hear it open slowly and heard footsteps approaching her bed.

"Rain?" A whispered question came in the dim morning light.

Rolling over onto her other side, despite the fear of what she may find, Rain looked at the newly arrived person.

Derek stood over her, his expression changing from curiosity to concern as he studied her. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put a hand on her blanketed shoulder.

"Rain? What's wrong?" Derek asked. He looked down at her shaking form and his heart melted into a bubbling puddle of mixed emotions.

Rain sat up slowly and pulled the blanket around herself, trying to ward off her incessant shivering. She looked at Derek and swallowed a few times before she spoke.

"I...I had a really creepy dream. What are you doing here?" Rain asked as she brushed her hair out of her face. She suddenly felt shy, recalling the fight they had had in the dream. She could barely remember if they had fought in real life or only in the dream.

"Chelsea sent me in here to tell you breakfast is ready. Our plane for Japan leaves in 3 hours. Did you forget to set your alarm?

"Yeah...guess so." Rain mumbled. The former gundam pilots were going on a business trip to Japan and their children had been asked to come along for one reason or other.

"Oh well, you're up now. So what was your dream about?" Derek asked, relieved that Rain was merely shaken up.

"Well...I was trying to tell you...something really important. But you would not listen to me." Rain began, starting to feel much calmer than when she had first awoken.

"Then...you left...And I felt bad. So, I followed you out of my room and into the hallway. But...in the hallway, Shelly was there, pointing a gun at you..." Rain trailed off, blinking at the painful images polluting her mind.

"What happened?" Derek prompted her.

"You...got shot. And, I still wanted to tell you something...but you had stopped moving. My dad found us. He had been saying something, but everything became fuzzy. I told him I wanted to tell you something...and then I guess I had died or passed out because everything got dark and I woke up." Rain concluded.

Despite the lack of details, Derek nodded his head in thought, analyzing the few things he had gathered.

"Well...death in a dream usually means change. So, I guess your subconscious is telling you that...you are worried if you keep something from me, things will change..." Derek said, looking at her again.

"That makes sense." Rain replied, trying to avoid his look.

"So, what are you not telling me?" Derek asked.

"I don't know." Rain lied.

"Nice try." Derek smirked. "Just tell me. If you are having nightmares over it, it must be something important."

"Heh. It is important." Rain said with a wry smile.

"Well, then tell me. If it's important to you, I want to know what it is."

"It's about..." Rain trailed off.

"About?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

"About the kiss."

"Oh..." Derek said simply. He frowned down at the blanket with a guilty look in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be sorry!" Rain said, taking his hands in hers.

"Why?" Raising his blue-violet eyes to meet hers, Derek shook his head slowly in confusion.

"Because...Because..."

"See...you have no reasons for me not to feel bad." Derek said with a sad smile.

"No, wait. The reason that...I didn't react...was because I was confused. I knew I cared about you as a friend. I knew you were important to me. I have always known that. But...I could not admit to myself the truth. I denied it...I lied to myself." Rain said.

"Lied...?"

Words began to come from Rain's mouth in a busy rush. A month of pent-up emotions was taking its toll on her.

"This entire month, I have been thinking about how I screwed up so badly. How I have BEEN screwing up. And I had wanted to tell you...but I didn't know how to explain it..." Rain sucked in a breath. "I'm such a screw up. And I know it's too late...and I'm sorry."

"What's too late?" Derek said quietly, fearing and hoping for her answer at the same time.

"I love you...so much it hurts." Rain whispered as tears formed in her eyes.

Derek sat there in silence for a long time as tears slowly slid down Rain's cheeks. He could only stare at her with half opened mouth after she had poured her heart out to him so suddenly.

"I'm sorry." Rain whispered and looked away.

"I love you." Derek said softly.

"What?" Turning to face him again, Rain wondered if her mind had been playing tricks on her.

"I love you." Derek repeated.

The daughter of the Yuy family could only look at him with bewilderment. His eyes seemed to hold their own light even in the dim, early-morning light of the room. It puzzled Rain and at the same time made her heart soar at the very sight of them.

It was then that everything fell into place. After seeing the happiness in Derek's eyes and thinking back on everything, she knew what she had been hiding from herself all that time.

Derek wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. Slowly falling into the warmth of his strong embrace, Rain closed her eyes and nuzzled his neck.

They remained like that, feeling rejuvenated in each other's presence for what seemed like an eternity.

Chelsea peeped her head in the open doorway with her cheerful, morning grin on her face. Stepping all the way in, her jaw dropped in both amusement and surprise.

Regaining her senses, the blonde girl grinned wickedly and folded her arms over her chest. Leaning back against the wall and staring at Rain and Derek, her grin became even more smug.

"It's about fucking TIME!" Chelsea yelled.

To Be Continued...

-End of Chapter 18-

Author's Notes: "But at the same time, she had not wanted to rain on her best friend's parade." Wow...a pun. I didn't even recognize it at first! Hehe.

Well, that; the new chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I rewrote it so many times. I thought I might trash the whole thing if I didn't just post it soon. Hehe.

So??? What do you think?
Did you really think Derek had died?
Well, hold on folks, because there's still lots more to be done in this story. ::grins evily:: Please Review!

Please R&R!

-AlyRain

May 26th, 2004