Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Tears ❯ Arguments and Pain ( Chapter 9 )

TITLE: Tears

CHAPTER: 9 - Arguments and pain

AUTHOR: Anastasia

PAIRINGS: 2x5/5x2, 1+2/2+1, 1x5/5x1, 3x4

WARNINGS: Yaoi, language, perhaps angst later (but not to much), little bit of sap. Set after Endless Waltz so there might be spoilers but I don't know.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Jack, Gundam Wing or anything else I happen to use in this fic.

NOTES: Yay, This was completed at. . . 2:11 am on a Monday morning!!

Oh, and due to the wonderful reviews, I am posting this as fast as possible. Excuse the spelling and grammatical errors. I will re-write and edit after I post the whole story. . . I don't like going over my work much.

DEDICATION: Hmm. . . To my Beta who never Beta's! Anyone looking for work?? I write, I e-mail, and if I haven't received a reply with the fixings, I post. Lol. (BETA NEEDED!!)

Also to my Lurkers. De- Lurk!!. . . Now!! REVIEW!!! *PLLLEEEEAASSSEEE??*

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Seeing angry violet eyes on one particularly dangerous Gundam pilot, no matter how sick, was something that most people would try to avoid. If that dangerous Gundam pilot happened to be the self proclaimed God of Death, most people would being to fear their lives. . . and that of their families. Most people would just turn and run as far away as possible until the normally cheerful face of one Duo Maxwell began smiling again. Heero and Wufei were not most people. [1]

Once Kassia had left the room, Wufei stood and tried to shut the door quietly behind her. The door wasn't made for the frame, so Wufei had to stick with jamming his seat up against the door knob instead. While he was doing this, Duo had time to steam over this old crush, and ex lover's actions.

After Wufei had turned around and looked at Duo for a time the tension in the room began to build. The two Asian men were reluctant to say anything, due to the look on Duo's face. Duo was filled with so much rage that he couldn't quite form words yet.

"How dare you. . ." He finally grated out in a harsh whisper, eyes nearly glowing with his rage.

Heero didn't know how to deal with this situation and looked at Wufei for support.

"Look, we didn't mean. . ." Wufei's excuses were overrun by Duo.

"You. . . you have no fucking right. . . no goddamned right. . ." The whisper was like death, giving life to Duo's alter-ego of the wars. It slipped through the ears like a dagger and promised darkness, pain and all hell to pay.

"Duo, please. . ." Wufei tried again.

"Don't ever even think about making my decisions for me again. Don't even try. Not once." Faintly Duo's hands began to shake.

"Duo, we were only thinking of you and Kassia." Heero said, trying to aid Wufei.

"Thinking of US?!? I am sorry, but I don't need your help. I have never, ever needed you or your help. EITHER of you. Once we get to Earth - which we now /have/ to, thanks to you - stay the fuck away from both me and Kassia. We were and are fine on our own." The whisper was abandoned and Duo began to shout, normal anger partially taking over the near rage that had previously infested Duo.

"Yes, of course, THAT must explain the disgraceful excuse of a condemned rubbish dump?. . . oh, I'm sorry, I think /you/ actually call /this/ a house?!" Wufei gave up on explaining and let his infamous temper get the better of him. With age, Wufei had developed a biting sarcasm, and it made Heero wince to hear it. It was very rare that Wufei lost control enough to be sarcastic. "You deserve /better/ than this, Duo. And you /obviously/ can't take care of yourself if you could let yourself get this sick!"

Duo fought fire with fire. "Yeah, funny thing that. It's a shame that I have had /AMNESIA/ for the past. . . what, about two years? That's about how much Kassia have grown up since I have been here. I case you didn't get the /point/ I didn't. . . and DON'T want to see you two ever again. I don't want anything to do with you!"

Heero spoke up with the partial monotone that normally inhibited his voice nonexistent as he tried to portray the depth of his emotion. "We were worried about you, you know. We were looking for you for two years. Two whole years of not knowing if you were dead or alive, if you hated us or if you still cared. . . it hurt both of us, Duo."

Duo sat still, his mouth moving but nothing coming out. Eventually he spoke. "I will go to Earth for as long as I have to, no longer. I want to stay with Quatre, though. Or at least at one of his mansions. Kassia and I need our space."

"What about Kassia? Are you thinking about her as well?" Wufei voiced quietly, all of his anger drained out of him.

"DON'T accuse me of being selfish, Wufei Chang." Dou's anger returned briefly before he softened his tone. "I am going to work out with her what she wants to do. But I don't think I can stay on Earth for any extended length of time."

The room was silent. The only noise that could be heard was the wind rattling and whistling through the holes in the walls and the thumping of Kassia trying to close her makeshift dresser drawers.

Heero was the first to speak again, once it sounded like Kassia had finished packing. "Her arm is healing nicely. I thought you might like to know." With that he walked out, gently moving the chair barring the door and leaving the door open behind him.

"I. . . I didn't mean to make your decisions for you, you know. I just. . .. I would really like. . . I want to see you better again. To see you better again, and happy, just like we used to be when we were. . ." A slight sheen came to Wufei's eyes, his pain resurfacing once again before he stood, turned his head to hide it and left the room. Without turning as he passed the door, he told Duo, "I'll give you half an hour."

Duo sat in his bed, his face in his hands. "Thank you, Heero. I'm sorry, Wufei. I'm so very sorry, to both of you. . . forgive me."

Duo stopped his whispered apologies as his voice broke with remorse and regret. This was too much. Wufei was still hurting, and it was his entire fault. He had brought every ounce of pain that the pair of people he loved most in the world were suffering upon them. He was the one to blame for the sorrow in Heero's eyes when he had first laid eyes upon him before Duo had his memory returned. He, Duo Maxwell, was the one at fault for the anguish that Wufei appeared to still be trying to recover from. Wufei, who's emotions ranged from clam to angry in that order.

How could he face the pair he loved knowing this? As well as that, how could /he/ bare the pain of seeing the two together? What was he going to do for the indefinite amount of time that he would be spending on Earth, in their company? And Quatre was going to fell his pain. He knew it. How could Duo accept any hospitality that Quatre might offer when Duo knew that being near the other ex pilot would only cause more suffering?

This was to much. Duo wished that he could go back to the way it was before. Back to the happiness that he had shared with Kassia without the knowledge he had now regained.

But at least Kassia was happy. His little girl. She would be happy, attending school on Earth and making friends her own age instead of being a tyrant around the gangs in the area. She would be ahead of all the students of her age, but not to far ahead, thanks to Duo's home tutoring that he had carried out for her. She would have a nice, easy time to begin with in regards to the school work, and that would make it easier for the girl to make friends with people. A small accomplishment compared to the hell Duo had made his life right now.

Perhaps he could take something to quicken the process of his sickness, so that it would be too late by the time that they reached Earth. But then he would be leaving Kassia behind, on her own, with no one who knew her and her past. She needed, and would need, someone who could understand her.

Maybe Kassia was a bad idea. She was complicating issues that would have been easy to solve a few years ago. He also didn't have the same problems back then. He mentally berated himself for wishing Kassia away for the first time in his life. He didn't understand the mood he was in. Perhaps the depression was brought on by the sight that he had seen twice now. Heero and Wufei were getting along well, at least. He had wished that of them. If only. . . but that was wishful thinking.

Heero and Wufei. They were two of the very few people he valued in life. He had caused them pain. Duo's thoughts kept leading him back to that fact. That was the last thing he had ever wanted to do. That was why he had left Earth in the first place. That was why he had made sure to say goodbye. He had caused them pain.

He didn't have much more time before he would be subjected to the pain of seeing his two loves working side by side the way that partners should, that lovers should. He decided to try and numb himself to the heart wrenching pain and settled down in the covers to meditate quickly.

Now he needed to fortify and gather himself. The last thing he would ever want to do is cause them pain, either by breaking them apart or letting them know how he felt. This was going to be a very long stay on Earth.

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[1] I don't know where I heard that. Anyone who can tell me where I've heard something similar to that can. . . have a chapter dedicated and. . . ask for a story to be written with what they want to hear. ^_^ or Not. . . . perhaps you can decide. Well. . . I want to give credit where credit is due, so any help would be. . . helpful.

A.N. I am sorry about yet ANOTHER short chapter. BUT. . . I do have excuses!! A box full of them!!! Actually, I really just wanted a bit of pity and sadness. Anyone actually feel sorry for Duo?? Tell me if you did. I want to know if I did alright. I thought I was being to. . . over the top. I don't know. Anyway, tell me how I did, please? Otherwise I might have to practise and take. . . say. . . 3 months to post again? (Heh heh heh. . . MUAHAHAHAH *climbs on witches broom and flies off into the sky cackling*)

Anastasia

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If you Review, I shall post much faster and write more!