InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shades of Gray ❯ I want you to want me ( Chapter 17 )

 

~<>~ Shades of Gray ~<>~

 

 

 

~<>~ Chapter 17 ~<>~ I want you to want me

 

 

-Limey content ahoy, man the sails!

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*

 

 

Fluttering her eyes open to greet the prevailing darkness, Kagome laid perfectly still wondering if this was another nightmare or the sordid boon of reality. To many nights as of late, when she dared to sleep, she had come up against terrifying nightmares that rendered returning to that blissful state a solid impossibility. Laying perfectly still Kagome felt the arm wrapped around her torso tighten, her back coming into contact with a broad and rather muscular chest. Kagome tensed with dread, a hesitation hitched her breathing for a short pause, and she swallowed thickly. Then, as if struck by a wave, the prior evening washed over her mind and she visibly relaxed. It wasn't Bankotsu in the bed behind her, it was InuYasha. `InuYasha,' she thought idly, her eyes staring off blankly into the pitch black room. `He stayed.' She felt her chest swell with an emotion she didn't dare explore. She couldn't, she wouldn't…this was InuYasha. This was Kikyo's future husband. Those feelings were taboo, something she had to lock away. It was impossible and completely immoral. But…the feel of his skin against hers, the feel of his breath against the back of her neck, it all felt so right.

 

“Are you awake?”

 

His voice was rugged and thoroughly destroyed Kagome's resistance to the temptation of sin. She held her breath for a moment, knowing she should simply feign sleep and ignore that welling tension in her gut. She wanted to turn to him, to cry on his shoulder, feel his arms around her, feel him… Kagome blinked again. `No, I am so not going there!' Indulging in a deep breath, one she was sure he felt, she slowly nodded. Words broke off in her throat, choking her to any audible response.

 

She felt his left fingers lift from their warm residence against the soft flesh of her stomach to brush some hair from her eyes. The bed shifted under the weight of the man behind her; feeling his body slide up against hers sent chills down her spine. Closing her eyes, she lived in that moment wishing to revel in it forever. Never had she known anything so wonderful in her life as those few seconds that he was pressed to her. The theories behind those emotions, however, drown her in an icy rationalization. She…wanted…InuYasha. Her mouth slipped open and her eyes widened. When did this happen? When did any romantic notions slip into her mind that concerned that jerk of whom she had hated for so long? Yet she couldn't deny that thirst, that unquenchable craving to feel him against her, around her and inside of her.

 

Feeling a slight tug at her shoulder, she suddenly found herself flat on her back and the man of her dreams lingering above her, his eyes glowing like candles. How that indigo stood out amongst the darkness, Kagome had no idea, but the emotions that swirled amid the purple were astonishing. She nearly forgot to breathe. “InuYasha?”

 

Staring down at Kagome, InuYasha joined her in the quest for air. His breath was suddenly gone, stolen away by the goddess who had mysteriously crept into his life without his knowledge. Bringing a hand to her cheek, he nearly lost himself. His mouth moved a few times before being able to reciprocate to Kagome's question. “Hey.” Yeah, he was that smooth.

 

And the silence that ensued could have sunk the Titanic. The pressure and tension created in the room was flammable, the gaze that captivated both parties seemed to hold the fate of the world in its balance. Both knew that all it would take was the lingering of a gaze to the others lips and the battle against their inhibitions would be lost.

 

Gazing up at InuYasha, a thousand thoughts poured through Kagome's mind. When had she fallen for this purple eyed nuisance of whom she had sworn to hate for the last five years? And she had hated him, hadn't she? She ranted and raved about his antics and lewd temperament time and again, to anyone who would listen. Kouga had agreed with all of her anger, relishing the moments when he could add fuel to her fire with a few harsh words about the younger Taisho boy. Bankotsu had always answered her rants with a soft smile that was nearly patronizing. Anyone of whom she had argued with… And that was when it hit her. Kagome had spent so many years busting his balls because she was afraid to ever reconsider her feelings for him. She had spent so many years throwing fuel onto the fire she thought was hatred. `But it never was, was it? All this time I've been avoiding…the truth.' And now, more then ever, the truth hurt. She could never have him. He was betrothed to another, and that other was of a blood relation to her. She could never hurt Kikyo like that, could she?

 

Pulling away from his piercing gaze, she rolled onto her right shoulder, her back to the boy and searched for something, anything to break her from the present situation. “Oh,” she muttered as the world seemed to shatter, once more. “It's late.” She prayed he couldn't see the tears that threatened to rip apart her cheeks for the thousandth time that day.

 

InuYasha watched as all the emotions came to head in Kagome's eyes. It was truly heart breaking; she went from a look of confusion to adornment, to hesitation to disdain in a matter of a minute. But it was look of disdain, of revulsion, that ripped into him like a sickle; he felt as if a part of his heart lay bleeding on the floor before him, dead to the world. He wanted to lash out at Kagome for the blatant rejection, but he couldn't. This wasn't her fault; he was dating her cousin for Christ's sake. It was his meddling conscious that did this to him. Rolling over to lay on his back, away from any physical contact with the girl, he stared up at the ceiling. “I…yeah, yeah, it is.” His voice was monotone, sullen, like a poorly construed mask of sorrow and papier-mâché. “It's a little after ten.”

 

Kagome stared at the red dots of the numeric clock, her vision blurring at the tone of his words. What the hell was wrong with the both of them? This…this wasn't right, it couldn't be. Nothing this good could ever be right. Swiping her hand at her eyes to void herself of those damned tears, she caught her knuckles against a rainbow shaded bruise. The hiss that left her mouth was louder than intentions had contrived, but it broke the silence like a sonic boom.

 

InuYasha was by her side in a second, sitting on his knees next to her. “Are you okay?”

 

The fact that he had just gone from sounding so broken to so concerned finally shattered that last string of restraint in Kagome. Dropping her hands to her side, she sat up in bed and just about threw herself into his arms. Curling her head to his shoulder, fat tears of regret and self-resentment streaked down her face. “I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!”

 

InuYasha's eyebrows rose up to nearly touch those obsidian black bangs as he clumsily stroked Kagome's back. Exhaling loudly, he packaged away those warm and fuzzy feelings for a time that would only be grieved over later in complete solitude. Embracing the girl before him, he took the time to comfort her woes. “Kagome…” closing his eyes, he bit back his anguish. Why was this so hard? It was a stupid crush, a stupid emotional attachment that shouldn't have existed in the first place. She wasn't his…she would never be his. It didn't stop the hurt though; it was more detrimental to the fragile state of his existence. “Kagome, don't apologize. There's nothing you need to apologize for. You've done nothing wrong.”

 

Kagome wasn't even sure why she was apologizing. Maybe for all those years of torture she had inflicted on him, or for all the snide and rude remarks she had thrown carelessly at him. Maybe it was because she hadn't got to him first. “But…I have! I'm so sorry. I've been such a bitch…and you…you're here, regardless. I'm so sorry; I never meant any of it.”

 

InuYasha felt his lips twist into a smile that she would never see. “Yes you did, but that doesn't matter right now. Should have, would have…it doesn't matter because what is done is done.” Pulling back from her, his smile faded as their eyes clashed in the dark. Stroking her hair from her face for what felt like the thousandth time, he relented, “you have to stop this, Kagome. You have to get away from this bastard.”

 

And reality once again consumed the girl. “Don't you think I want to? I hate having to hide these bruises, these scars!”

 

InuYasha felt like every muscle in his back tensed as he ground out, “scars? As in previous marks from other instances?” He'd kill the stupid fuck.

 

Kagome closed her eyes, knowing that she had once again said the wrong thing. “No, not previous. These things on my face, these…”

 

“Stop lying to me.”

 

Kagome exhaled softly, her entire body going sluggish. Hanging her head, she nearly wept once more. “I…can't…anymore, InuYasha. I can't keep doing this. I hate lying, especially to my friends.”

 

“So stop! You can repent by telling the truth for once.”

 

Kagome lifted her head and slowly opened her eyes. Giving him the most dead panned stare she could, she spoke from her heart; “I can't even tell the two apart anymore; what's a lie and what's the truth, it's all just a clusterfuck of ambiguity. I thought I could…but apparently, I was wrong.”

 

“Perspectives change, Kagome, and what you thought was something ends up being something else. It sucks, but it happens. You can't hide from it, you have to face it.”

 

“Why?” she asked suddenly, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Why can't anything ever go right? Why can't just once I meet someone who isn't out to hurt me, or to abuse me? Why do I attract these rejects?”

 

InuYasha nearly smirked, knowing that she had inadvertently just grouped him into that category. “I don't know, Kagome. But if life was simple, then they wouldn't have made that stupid board game with the same name. It's a challenge, Kagome, not a joy ride. I don't know what else to tell you.”

Kagome shook her head once, fighting the urge to curl up in the fetal position and die. “I've tried, I have! But there have been so many tears…I can't…I can't cry anymore. I feel dead, I feel…God, I feel so dead. I'm lost, InuYasha, I feel like I have no where to go. It's like being abandoned…but I asked for it, I brought it on myself.”

 

Taking what could have been considered a suicidal leap, InuYasha responded without thinking. “You'll never be by yourself, Kagome, never. I won't allow it.” Sensing her hesitation and his fuck up, he quickly blurted out, “you have so many friends, Kagome. They'd never abandon you.”

 

Kagome shook her head. “They don't know, InuYasha, they have no idea. Kikyo thinks I'm little Miss fucking Sunshine; she thinks I've never done anything wrong in my life. And when I tell her of some of the things that have happened, she says I made it up. She thinks I lie to make myself more interesting.”

 

InuYasha pulled her into his chest, lowering to rest his chin on the top of her head. “Don't listen to Kikyo, Kagome. She's a bitch.”

 

Kagome sniffled once from her warm haven in his chest. “Then why are you dating her?”

 

`Why indeed,' his conscious mocked. “It's complicated.”

 

Kagome snorted. “Right, because I don't understand complications.”

 

“No, but you understand compromise. You've given to gain, I can see it. You know what it's like to lose something important to achieve something else.”

 

“And it's never worth it.”

 

InuYasha inclined his head against hers. “You're right, on most accounts.”

 

Kagome turned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Resting her cheek to his collar bone, she closed her eyes. “I just want to wake up and find out that the last six years of my life have been some really horrible dream.”

 

InuYasha lifted his head slightly, his eyebrows arched in confusion. “Six years?”

 

Kagome waved him off. “I just want it to be over.”

 

Nodding, the man silently listened, making mental notes of questions that he planned on getting elaborations over when she was in a better mental state.

 

“I want to be with someone who wants me for who I am; not for my body, or for the heat of the moment.”

 

The willpower that it took to stop him from jumping all over that was nothing short of astounding. Dragging him from his brooding by his scrotum, InuYasha's attention became solely focused on the girl wrapped around him. “Kagome…”

 

Kagome glanced up at InuYasha and hesitated. She could see it in his eyes and could sense it in his aura, for it was in her as well. That wanton lust; that damned desire to indulge in the forbidden. With a slight hesitation, Kagome rose slowly from her place against his chest to sit on her knees before him. Staring up into his wild eyes, she leaned closer. “InuYasha…I…”

 

InuYasha watched Kagome slowly approach him with the same awareness that one would watch an ensuing train wreck. He knew it was going to happen, he could see the train barreling towards that car in the middle of the track, blowing all the whistles to avoid the catastrophe, but he couldn't do anything about it.

 

Her lips pressed to his gently, with an uncertain ease fluttering about her movements. Neither party closed their eyes at first, testing those uncertain waters. InuYasha stared on helplessly as Kagome just about threw herself at him. He should have stopped her, something in his brain was demanding to stop her, but it felt so right, and he wanted it, by God did he want it. Leaning into her, one hand wrapped around her back of her shoulders and pulled her squarely into his chest. He watched as her eyes slipped closed, and the last bit of restraint floated away.

 

Fisting her hair, his mouth dominated hers. Their breath became rugged with need, the passion swelling between the two like a balloon. His mouth moved in sync with hers, trying to consume all that she was. It was then that he realized that this was what he had wanted for the past few years; to taste the sweet nature that was Kagome, to indulge in everything she had to offer. He would never go back, could never go back, to anything else.

 

Kagome's hands slipped up his broad back, her tongue darting from her mouth to slip between those sweet lips that she could die against. InuYasha reciprocated immediately, his tongue coming to fill the vacancy in her mouth. With a passion that was fueled by ones heart, he dominated the kiss, his skillful lips winding Kagome like a spring. Ravaging her lips, he continued the onslaught of fervor with everything he had inside of him. It was as if he was trying to crawl into her mouth and live forever as one with her.

 

Running his tongue over her teeth then around the narrow confines of her mouth, he relished those tiny mews that slipped from her throat, nearly inaudible to the world. Yet he heard them, he tasted them, he thrived off of them. It was those simple sounds, of a girl receiving all due pleasure, that got him hard. He never heard anything so beautiful in all of his life.

 

Together, the two rode the waves of the torrent storm of passion. Indulgence bled to necessity as their hands began to explore each other, breaking that wall they had carefully constructed around the other. Kagome's hands traced his sculpted back, seeking in a frantic need for the hem of his shirt. She wanted him, she wanted him more than ever; the need was nearly blinding. Reaching the bottom of the shirt, her hands slipped beneath the fabric and ripped it up over his head.

 

Having no objections that made sense, InuYasha leaned away from Kagome and allowed her to undress him. Only breaking the kiss for a moment, he took control once more and pressed the girl to the bed. Hovering over her, he stared down at Kagome in awe. How had he missed this? How had he overlooked her? Better yet, how had he lived without her? Watching her eyes ogle his sculpted muscles, his fell to the recent bruises that still marred her beauty. A creeping sense of self loathing darted through his mind, reminding him of her current condition. She was injured, she was wounded and he…he was more than willing to take advantage of that. So she was throwing herself at him, could he be to blame? With an inward hatred that suddenly ignited in a blaze of disgust, he realized that he had to stop this. If he allowed Kagome to throw herself to his mercy, not only would she hate herself come morning but she would feel as if she betrayed Kikyo.

 

As much as all of him wanted this, it just couldn't be. And that killed a part of him.

 

Kagome moved up to his neck, her lips running along the length of his jugular, attempting to goad him into continuing. She hadn't truly sensed his resignation, but there was a feeling that something was direly wrong. Not wanting to see that rejection, not wanting to feel that mortal wound, she kept her face hidden in his neck. It took her two seconds to come to the exact same rationalization that he had. `What did I just do?'

 

InuYasha sat, straddling her waist with her body pressed against him for some time, simply staring ahead while tears ran down his bare chest. He wanted to ask if she was okay, but words wouldn't cooperate. Besides, he would sound like a jack ass. He didn't want her to feel as if he rejected her; it would be a cold day in hell before he would refuse the goddess before him. But right now, he would be the bad guy without any qualms. So, if it meant her being angry until his decision made sense, so be it. Judging by the tears that saturated his chest, however, he was guessing that she wasn't as angry as she was hurt.

 

The duo stayed intertwined for another half hour before Kagome could even attempt to look at InuYasha. Even then, it was a passing glance, only stolen as she slipped down the mattress to lie on her side facing away from him.

 

Neither spoke; words seemed to harsh, to rough to tread on this delicate situation. InuYasha sat by her side, staring while she lay beside him, wishing to be invisible. Eventually InuYasha slowly slipped from the bed and made his way to the door. Tonight would mar their relationship for days, if not months to come. Biting back the urge to reason with the girl, he knew it would be pointless. She was hurting and he was not going to help that currently. He had attempted to, and he saw where it got him. `Not in half bad of a position,' the darker side of his youkai mused; `could have gotten some ass.' Now InuYasha remembered why he wore that damned limiter; he hated himself.

 

“Where…are you going?”

 

InuYasha paused, his hand hovering above the door knob. Feeling his back stiffen slightly, he hadn't been prepared for her to call to him. He really expected her to want him gone, to want him to walk away. She had offered herself to him, grief be damned, and he shot her down like a kamikaze pilot. Glancing backwards, he could just about make out her silhouette resting on the bed, one of her eyes cracked open and staring unabashed at him. Swallowing, he responded quietly with all due grace. “I…err…”

 

Kagome sat up slowly, clutching the bed sheet to her chest. She stared at him now, with eyes that have turned the strongest of men to mush. She looked so frightened, so alone, and that ripped at InuYasha with the brutal force of a nuclear impact. “InuYasha, please…”

 

Neither spoke for another minute, their staring contest seeming ill-fated from the start. How could something like this end well?

 

“I'm sorry,” she cried out abruptly, shaking her head with an appearance of more tears. `Here go the apologies once more,' she thought spitefully. Her life seemed to be filled with them; `fucking regrets and dumb ass moves.' Letting a few curses fumble off her lips, she cast her head to the side and forced down tears, finally speaking from her heart. “Damnit, I can't seem to stop screwing things up! I shouldn't have…I'm so sorry. Please…please, Inu, don't leave.”

 

InuYasha visibly relaxed; maybe things hadn't been shot to hell after all. Taking two large steps, he fell to her side of the bed, sinking to his knees in an attempt for her to understand the reserve that was tearing him apart. “Kagome, I won't go anywhere. I'm by your side until you don't need me here.” Rubbing two crystal drops off her face, he forced a smile. “You didn't screw anything up. I'm just going to tell Sango that I'm staying the night, if that's what you want.” He hesitated, wanting to dive into explanations about why he stopped following with a brief commentary that had it of been any other day when she wasn't beat to shit that he would have fucked her brains out.

 

Kagome's gaze seemed to try to transcend mortal limits in an attempt to read his mind. “InuYasha, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…I don't know what came over me. It was stupid, and….” Why was this so hard to say? She had acted brashly and nearly damaged a relationship that she was exceedingly unsure about. Where did they now stand? Would he hold it above her head? Did he care? Why couldn't she say it was a mistake? Was it?

 

InuYasha seemed more frightened over those words then anything else. Placing a few fingers over her mouth, he shook his head. “Listen to me, Kagome; I'm fine, you didn't hurt me. You have to understand though, what I did…tonight, I just…that is…I…” he let out a deep sigh and frowned. “I mean, what kind of guy would I be if I let you…?” Staring into her eyes, he realized at that moment what could have been tarnished, and the weight that hung in this balance. He knew, logically, that he couldn't miss something that hadn't been to begin with, but he was beginning to question that. If he lost Kagome over some stupid mistake, it would hurt. It would hurt like a fuckin' bitch.

 

Kagome sniffled in a failed attempt at a laugh. “InuYasha…” seeing the sincerity in his eyes changed her tone. “I…understand.” So that was that. Nothing would happen between them, he didn't want it. He was right, though, nothing could happen between them. What perverse level of thinking was she functioning on? Of course nothing could happen; he was in love with her cousin. What was she thinking? `Nothing, I was acting off emotions,' she thought as her vision blurred momentarily. She knew what connotations those thoughts held. She was acting out because she wanted him.

 

InuYasha knelt by her side for a moment longer, watching that ugly internal struggle surmount to tears in her eyes. He hated himself more than ever at that moment, he was causing this. `Damnit, if she wasn't fucked up…I would show her just how I feel!' with a stifled sigh, he slowly climbed to his feet. “I'm going to tell Sango I'm staying the night. Something tells me, however, that this might be a lengthy argument. If she won't let me stay…” he could nearly feel a wave of panic that rushed from Kagome upon those words. Why she was so suddenly attached to him, InuYasha couldn't fathom, but he wasn't going to let her down. “Then you can come back with me to the apartment, okay?”

 

Kagome nodded slowly, her fingers sliding up the hand that was resting against her cheek. Intertwining their fingers, she asked carefully, “promise you won't leave?” A part of her was still aching over Bankotsu, but somehow, in InuYasha's presence, that pain was subdued. It was as if he could ease sooth that piece of her she felt was missing. Was that her problem? Instead of fixing her broken heart, was she simply looking for a substitute part to fit the hole? And if she was, then where did she stand with InuYasha? A frightened and foreboding voice called out from somewhere within the recess of her mind, `You don't know how to be happy. You don't know what happiness is. You'll settle your entire life, ending up miserable like your mother, because you have no idea what love is.' Maybe it was that thought that kept her awake at night; ending up marrying someone who was like her father. Oh, Bankotsu had filled that category all too perfectly. Shivering, she nodded slowly to InuYasha and then wrapped her arms around her body.

 

InuYasha smirked, “yeah, I promise. I'm not going anywhere Kagome.” With a nervous smile and running a trembling hand through his hair, he slowly trudged from the room. Somehow, this felt like a death march, he noted as he closed the door to the room behind him.

 

***X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X**X*X

 

 

As InuYasha entered the living room, the scene before him quite literally stopped him in his tracks. Miroku was sitting on the couch, his left arm laced around Sango's shoulders, and a bowl of popcorn nestled tightly between the two. They were watching a movie that InuYasha couldn't name on her giant television, yet it seemed that only one of them was truly paying attention to the screen. What shocked InuYasha to shit was the fact that Miroku's pants were still on. Normally, knowing his best friend like clockwork, Miroku would spend maybe two hours with a girl, at the absolute most, before dropping those slacks to his ankles and burying himself to the hilt. And there was absolutely no cuddling or talking afterwards; just an awkward goodbye and the occasional cursing fit. They had to have been talking for nearly seven hours. What the hell was going on? InuYasha glanced around, making sure he hadn't stepped into Oz or some fucking twilight zone shit. Last thing he needed was some pointy haired midget in suspenders singing to him.

 

Miroku had his eyes firmly fastened to the girl by his side, completely captivated by everything that was Sango; he was intrigued by the way she recoiled slightly at the more disturbing parts of the movie, and then tried to cover it up with a yawn or a stretch. He adored the way her ruby red lips would part slightly as the plot would build on suspense, knowing damn well that stupid guy shouldn't walk around the corner, or that the man should be moving faster. It was as if she was losing her breath along with the character, and that tickled everything inside of the hormonal driven man. He would watch those lips, wondering what they tasted like, and how they would feel under gentle pressure from his. And what he loved most was the way her right eye would tick lightly upon catching his blatant stare. She was doing much better at ignoring his gawk; it had been awkward for the first half hour with her constant inquisitions at his actions. He never really answered, he would just smile. That smile seemed to unnerve her enough.

 

“Are you really going to stare at me for the rest of the night?”

 

Miroku's smile turned to a smirk. “You know, I have to say, you are magnificent.”

 

The blush that tainted Sango's cheeks set off nearly every warning bell in InuYasha's mind. Taking another step into the room, he wasn't prepared for Sango's retort.

 

“That's nice. Now watch the movie or I swear I'm going to hurt you.”

 

Miroku's smirk only grew, and InuYasha knew it was going to be one of those moments that he longed for a camera. “What kind of hurt are we talking here? Like a smack on the ass, nails down the back or something serious like a bull whip and some shackles; because I do have leather pants at my immediate disposal.”

 

A harisen* materialized in her hand, and InuYasha winced as the paper made contact with the left side of Miroku's face, sending the boy sprawling backwards and nearly over the end of the couch. With a silent prayer, InuYasha thanks God that she hadn't actually taken a full swing at him with that bat. If she could knock Miroku back a few feet with a stupid fan, he didn't want to imagine the state his intestines would be in when met by metal.

 

“You fucking pervert! I don't know why I haven't tacked your balls to my wall yet!”

 

Miroku sat up, rubbing his head and inching away from the fuming girl. “Oi, Sango, be careful with that thing.” Rubbing his head with a beaten puppy look, Miroku grimaced again. “You don't need to be so rough.”

 

“Suck it up, you fuckin' pussy. Damn, Sango, you really are a fuckin' Amazon!”

 

Both parties paused from their petty squabble to turn to the dark haired man. Miroku cringed as Sango took on a new target. Jumping off the couch, she barreled towards InuYasha, fan in hand. “You! We need to do some serious talking. Get your ass to the couch.”

 

InuYasha didn't flinch as she came at him. Meeting her outraged glare with a cool assertiveness, he simply held her gaze. “You raise that to me,” he commented coldly as she sought to introduce his face to her weapon, “and it will be the last thing you do.”

 

Sango hesitated, and then slowly dropped her arm to her side with a huff. “What the hell have you been doing for the last seven hours? I swear to the Kami-sama, if you touched her…”

 

InuYasha inwardly flinched. At least he wasn't the only one with some logic. Looking at wonder boy, who was still slumped over on the couch, he called to him, “Yo, collect your wench before I have to school her on some manners.”

 

Sango's face darkened to a beautiful mauve shade. “Excuse me? I know you did not just call me…”

 

InuYasha snapped his head back around to glare at Sango. “Do you ever shut up? How is it that I hardly know you, but I already understand that you nag the fuck out of people? Close that damned trap for two seconds and I'll fucking tell you what you want to hear.”

 

“Go fuck yourself, you asshole. Take the lecher and get the hell out of my house!”

 

InuYasha rolled his eyes and slowly crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, this will be a hell of a lot easier if you shut up and listen. Kagome's okay, she's been sleeping for the past seven hours, uninterrupted. Something I doubt she's done in the last few days. I was out cold to, before you accuse me of being anything. Now, you keeping that mouth shut?” Hesitating enough to goad Sango, his frown tipped up into a cocky smirk, “good girl. Kagome is okay, she's hurt, but she's okay. She'll get through this. I just came out here to tell you loud ass mother fuckers to keep your voices low or I'll fuckin' kill you. If you wake her up, it's your ass.”

 

Sango reared back, as if he had slapped her and opened that gate of hell. “Who the hell…”

 

InuYasha placed his hand over her mouth, looking her dead in her eyes. “You don't take direction very well, do you Xena? I talky, you listen.” Somehow, this was relieving of that rage that had been building in the hanyou for the past few days; not being able to banter with Kagome had really taken its toll on InuYasha's patience. He wanted to verbally kick this bitch to the curb. He knew that some of his frustration was being misplaced, but how dare that stupid bitch seriously think that she could take him? It was nearly laughable. Seeing her eyes darken to a chocolate hue, he continued speaking; “now listen up. Kagome wants me to spend the night with her.” Countering Miroku before he could get started, he held out a hand in his direction, “no, letch, stop thinking it. It's nothing like that.”

 

Miroku cocked an eyebrow and retorted dryly, “Funny, I wasn't going to say a thing. You, however, seem to be thinking plenty enough for the both of us.” With a scoff, he folded his arms, “and you call me the pervert.”

 

Sango took that moment to pull herself away from InuYasha's grasp and belted him across the face with an open hand. InuYasha staggered back and turned to stare in utter shock at the brazen woman's audacity. She fucking hit him, he couldn't believe that shit. Casting a glower at Miroku, he saw that the boy was in the same state of awe that he was. Miroku's mouth was hanging open, his hand still up in the air, as if he was about to reach out to them, and his eyes were the widest InuYasha had ever seen them. And…it really didn't help InuYasha's rising ire that Miroku looked like he was about to piss himself.

 

InuYasha turned back around to face Sango, who seemed slightly shocked at her own actions, and growled darkly. “Listen to me, you fuckin' bitch. I don't know where you get off...”

 

Sango interjected nearly as fast, “stop calling me names. Damnit, are you this cocky that you think you can waltz uninvited into other people's homes and make yourself comfortable? And what's worse is you have the audacity to insult me on top of that! What the hell is wrong with you?”

 

Miroku finally wrangled in his urge to burst into hysterical laughter and cleared his throat. “My friends…this is getting us no where fast. InuYasha, I think you have to calm down a bit, and Sango, I think that you should back off…”

 

“Like hell…”

 

“Shut up, no one is talking to you,” the two retorts shot back at the intruder simultaneously.

 

Miroku sighed loudly and shook his head muttering, “Can't say I didn't try.”

 

InuYasha turned on Sango, “what's wrong with me? Let's focus on you, something that shouldn't be hard for you to do. You've done shit to help out Kagome--”

 

“Because you won't get off her ass. You're not a hemorrhoid!”

 

“--and all you seem to be able to do is whine and bitch. I thought she was your best friend!”

 

“She is, you jerk, but I can't get in to see her because you're in my way!”

 

“If you gave a damn, you'd be sitting in there with me.”

 

“Not like I didn't try to!”

 

“No, you tried; you tried to get me to leave. Kagome doesn't want me to leave!”

 

Sango bit back with an edge. “Kagome doesn't want you to leave? Oh, that's rich. Do you really believe that? I think you don't want to leave, which boggles me because last time I looked, weren't you dating her cousin?”

 

InuYasha stilled for a moment, trying to think of a reasonable comeback besides for `yeah…well'. Failing to do so, he groaned loudly; “we have more important things happening right here, right now, that doesn't involve my relationships. I'm here for my friend, to help her out…”

 

“And to get into her pants. I know how you men think! I know that you're just buttering her up, so that she feels she can trust you. Then you'll make a move and she'll think that you want her because, wow look, you've been there for her all along. You're just setting her up for heart ache, and you know it. If you don't know it, then you're more of a jackass than I thought you were.”

 

InuYasha grunted once, and then ran a hand down his face. This was getting them no where. “Look,” he said abruptly, “Kagome asked me to stay. I came out here to ask you if you cared. Apparently, you think I'm going to molest Kagome in the middle of the night, but I assure you, I have more dignity than that.”

 

“Yeah, you'll wait for morning.”

 

InuYasha took a deep breath and counted backwards from five. Vicodin was sounding like a wonderful solution to this swelling headache. Holding out a hand to stop her, he firmly stated, “I'm doing this for Kagome. You want to know what,” he said suddenly, throwing his hands up, “I give up. I'll fuckin' take her to my place. Then you can get that dildo out of your ass that you must have crammed up there.”

 

“Oh fuck you!”

 

InuYasha grunted as he turned on his feet, “You wish, baby.”

 

Sango was in front of him in a second. He glanced backwards to make sure he saw right then glared at her. How the hell did she move that fast? “You're not taking Kagome anywhere, let alone to your bed.”

 

“I'll be the utmost gentleman.” Okay, so he hadn't meant that much sarcasm to drip from his mouth, but it was too late to cry over spilt milk.

 

“Right and I'll sleep naked with Miroku and won't wake up pregnant.”

 

Miroku glanced out from where he had vanished into the kitchen and called out, “hey now, don't make promises you don't plan on keeping.”

 

Sango rolled her eyes and hollered at InuYasha, “You're not sleeping with her!”

 

“You're right; I'm sharing a bed with her!”

 

“I will not let you…”

 

“Oh grow up! She's twenty years old; she can take care of herself!”

Sango scoffed at that one. “Right, just like she was able to take care of herself when this bastard beat the fuck out of her? Or the other thousand times that she's let herself be hurt? I'm here now, InuYasha, so you can back off. You won't be taking advantage of her any time soon. Since she can't do it, I'll do it for her. So you can scamper off back to that whore you're dating, we don't need you here.”

 

Suddenly a clap of thunder echoed around the tiny room that was drowning in hostility. It took a minute for the two belligerent individuals to realize it was a fist against the wall. Sango glanced backwards to come face to face with Kagome, her fist still pressed to the wall and a hellfire in her eyes.

 

Kagome stared aghast in front of her, completely furious over the conversation she had intruded upon. How dare they sit here and banter over her, as if she wasn't within ear shot. She wasn't nearly as furious with InuYasha as she was with Sango, however. Maybe because the girl had gone into some rationalizations that Kagome herself would not dare tread, or because she was right, but Kagome was livid. She hadn't seen Sango in five years, maybe more, and for her to believe that she could just waltz in and take over her life; it was completely absurd.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

 

Sango faltered for a minute, her eyes softening to a near brink of tears. “Kagome, I'm sorry. I didn't mean…”

 

Kagome slapped away her hand as Sango reached to console her. “The hell you didn't. You meant every word of it!” shaking her head slowly, Kagome snorted, “I came to you Sango, because I wanted a friend. I'm not looking for a savior; I'm not looking for a superhero to protect me. I've done it for the last decade since you've been gone, it's not a problem. Yeah, I fucked up letting this bastard hit me, I know that. Everybody fucks up though, Sango.” Grabbing her coat from the chair, she threw it on hastily. “I have to leave…I can't be here right now.” Turning, she stormed towards the door, not daring to look over her shoulder.

 

Sango shoved past InuYasha in an attempt to catch up to Kagome. “Kagome, wait, I'm sorry! Kagome-Chan, please! I know you can take care of yourself! I know this isn't your fault…”

 

Kagome turned on Sango, her eyes cold as ice. “Yeah? You could have fooled me. I was just too gullible to not see what a scum bag I've been dating. Thank you, Sango; you've cleared it all up for me. I don't know I didn't think of that.”

 

Sango threw up her hands, wanting to rip her hair out in clumps. “Kagome-Chan! Listen to yourself! What do you want me to do? You know I don't sugar coat things; yes, you're an idiot for staying with a guy you knew could hurt you! But being your friend, I'm here to help you! You know I'll always be here for you!”

 

Kagome rolled her eyes, her entire body beginning to shake. She was furious; furious with herself mostly, but also with Sango. Why did Sango always have to point out the obvious? Kagome knew she fucked up, and she didn't want Sango to sugar coat that. But Sango didn't understand, she couldn't understand, and therefore, she had no room to make comments. `You're just angry with yourself, stop blaming others.' Kagome ignored that voice. “I'm going home.” An arm materialized around her waist, supporting her before her strength would run out, and also stopping her from leaving in a huff. She didn't need to look up to know it was InuYasha. It was a good thing to, because at that moment, her knees nearly buckled.

 

Sango glanced from Kagome to InuYasha before sighing loudly and throwing in the towel. “Fine, sure, whatever. You know where I live Kagome. When this one hurts you,” she tossed a nasty glower at InuYasha, “just don't say I didn't warn you. He's nearly as dangerous as the jerk that did this to you. You're just blind to it.”

 

InuYasha growled darkly then turned Kagome from the doorway. If he stuck around a minute longer, he would show Sango just how violent he could get. How dare she make such an accusation! She didn't know him! `And you're proving her right,' he conscious mocked in a rather bored voice. InuYasha, like Kagome, decided to turn his back on reason and led Kagome out of the town house. There was no way he was staying there.

 

Sango watched as the two strode down her yard, like two soldiers on their way to the Crimean war*. They were so lost in their own beliefs that they didn't see the world around them; they saw only what they wanted, believed what they thought was right. Like warriors fighting a religious battle that had everything to do with economics and nothing about religion, Sango knew there was no dissuading them. Wrapping her arms around her body, she couldn't help but shiver. Was Kagome really that lost? Could she not see how she was slowly destroying herself? Sango didn't blame Kagome for what happened, she really didn't. She wanted to gut the bastard that did it to her. But Kagome had to take some responsibility. She knew how dangerous he could be, she had to have known his power. Yet she stayed by his side, until it came down to this. Now… `Check mate,' Sango thought forebodingly.

 

“So…seriously, what was that about us being naked?” Miroku asked suddenly, standing behind Sango with half a bologna sandwich sticking out of his mouth.

 

Sango wanted to scream. At least they could have taken their trash with them when they left.

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X*X*

 

 

Walking through the front door of the apartment, they weren't more then two feet inside before both parties nearly exploded in a vivid array of colorful language.

 

“Who the fuck does that stupid cunt think she is?”

 

“I can't believe she thinks that I'm that weak! She doesn't get it!”

 

“I don't think I've ever wanted to hit someone so hard in all my life!”

 

“She doesn't know anything about all of this. How can she make such fucking wild guesses?”

 

InuYasha balled his fist, ready to unleash it into the wall. “That girl…gets on my fuckin' nerves!”

 

Kagome brought a hand to her mouth and turned around. “Oh God, I should apologize. I didn't mean…I'm just…”

 

InuYasha's eyes switched from his menacing glower on the wall to glance once at Kagome. Seeing the tears brimming in her eyes, he sighed and tried to drown out the raging adrenaline. Taking two steps to Kagome, he placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” he brought his fingers to her chin and forced her to look up at him. “Don't cry over her. She's the one who should be begging for an apology. What she said was out of line.”

 

Kagome shook her head once. “No, what I said was. She was being a friend and was trying to help me out. She didn't have to get me from school, she didn't have to take me in. she did it out of kindness, and I just walked all over her. I can't be mad at her because she doesn't know the whole truth; it's not like I'm willing to tell her all of it.”

 

InuYasha caressed her chin with two fingers trying to keep her emotions at bay. He couldn't see her fly off into some deep seeded depression again; it hurt them both too much. “Kagome,” he whispered, “she will understand. Right now, you're frazzled and honestly, you just need more sleep.”

 

Kagome wrapped her arms around her body and pulled her face from his hand. Walking into the living room, she collapsed onto the couch and buried her face in her hands. “You don't know how much I just want this to go away.”

 

Walking to the back of the couch, he placed his hands on the backrest. “And I want to win the lottery, but it's not going to happen. Stop wasting your time, Kagome, it's pointless. It's not going to go away, so instead of wishing, make something of it. Help us solve this, put the jerk behind bars, and then we'll move on with our lives.”

 

Calling out from behind her hands, she felt as if she had said this a thousand times. How many more times were they going to make her repeat herself? “I can't, InuYasha. Please stop asking that of me.”

 

“Then stop feeling sorry for yourself and bitching about it all going away. If you don't like it, change it. If you won't change it, stop bitching.”

 

Kagome snorted and lifted her head up to stare at him. “That's a bit harsh.”

 

“Life's a bitch, and then you die. You might as well make whatever you can of it.”

 

Kagome stared up at InuYasha for a moment, losing herself in his handsome features. For a moment she pondered just how similar he was to his father and brother. The strong jaw line that stood out so prominent of the man had to be a trait that ran in the family. His purple eyes seemed to glow as he stared at the adjacent wall, obviously trying not to look at her. Kagome knew at that moment that she was in for a rough ride; falling for the man that her cousin was dating was going to prove strenuous.

 

“I'm not really tired but…”

 

“You should lie down.”

 

Kagome nodded and slowly stood up. Staring briefly at the man, she wanted to ask the following question as delicately and couth as she could. “So, if I'm staying in there...?”

 

InuYasha felt his lips form one thin line, his eyes darkening in a hue of displeasure. If he had stayed with Kagome at Sango's, he would have slept in the same bed as her only because he wouldn't impose more then they had. But being that they were in his place, he was obliged to sleep on the couch and allow Kagome the bed. `Fuck, I would have kept my mouth shut if I thought of that.'

 

Moving his lips a few times, it took a moment for him to truly weight out the factors. There was just no way that he could sweet talk his way into bed with her. `Why do you want to lay with her, you perv?' his conscious asked. `You gonna prove Sango right? You know you're just doing this to get down her pants. Even for you, that's low.' If InuYasha had been by himself, he would have put his head through a wall. He hated his conscience.

 

Kagome watched as InuYasha waged his internal battle and decided that, what the hell, she might as well make a fool of herself. It wasn't as if she was trying to seduce him, she just didn't want to be alone. And…she didn't want to miss him. The previous seven hours of sleep had been some of the best in years, regardless of her bruised disposition. She wanted to become more intimate with that feeling. “I…don't want to be by myself…” feeling a flush of red highlight her cheeks, she quickly averted her eyes.

 

InuYasha paused from his internal struggle to stare at Kagome in shock. Had she really just asked him to stay with her? `You're forgetting she already asked that, dumb ass.' Yup, he was gonna stab that voice out with a q-tip as soon as he had a minute to himself. “Oh, uhh…” his language skills seemed to be suffering as well. “Yeah, that's fine. I guess. So you…err…want me to…umm…” InuYasha inwardly groaned. `Tell me, how did you ever lose your virginity? Let me tell you, Bond, that's some smooth shit. Next thing you know, you'll cum in your pants like some hormone driven preteen. Keep it up, this is entertaining.'

 

With a nearly feral growl, he ordered the voices of his conscience quiet. “Yeah, Kagome, that's fine. I'll stay with you until you're comfortable.”

 

A gracious smile passed over Kagome's face as InuYasha gently led her in the direction of his bed room. `Is this wrong?' Frankly, she didn't give a damn. Being in his arms was the only thing that felt right.

 

X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*

 

 

The night seemed to pass in a flash, Kagome was out the minute her head hit the pillow. She hadn't wished to be, in fact, she had planned to stay awake and talk with InuYasha some. There was so much she felt like she had missed, so many years of knowing him without really actually knowing him. It was a feeling akin to having your life sucked out of you, or realizing that you were turning thirty without ever really living. A sense of dire necessity to suck up every moment she could suddenly overwhelmed Kagome.

 

It was humorous; a week ago she would have stuck to her guns that she loathed InuYasha Taisho. She would have ranted and raved at anyone who would ever suggest that it would be her waking up at his side and not her cousin. However, they would have been right.

 

Glancing towards the Venetian blinds, Kagome could tell that the sun was on the horizon, threatening to peak its head and wake the world of a dreary nights rest. `Five forty seven,' she noted as she stared at the illuminated red dots of his alarm clock. She was nearly sure she couldn't sleep for another minute. Having spent seven hours asleep at Sango's and then a concomitant six hours at InuYasha's, she was nearly ready to run a marathon. To bad her body didn't agree; her limbs were sluggishly languid and felt as if they were tied down by individual weights. Stretching lightly she arched her back, her neck coming in contact with the figure that had the demise of her conscience. He was also what had woken her up.

 

Kagome was nearly sure that she had been having quite the exquisite dream about fountains of chocolate and the name Bankotsu being dismissed from her vocabulary, when the gentle wisps of fingertips against her skin had stirred her. Taking a few minutes to orientate herself she found that she was laying, once again, on her right side with InuYasha wrapped around her like a blanket. His left arm was shoved under her shoulders, the hand brushing against her right side while his right hand, the devilish limb that had woken her from her bliss, was lying over her left side, his fingers softly playing with the hem of her shirt. She had remained silent for a moment, her entire world exploding into a vivid awareness (and an all too uncomfortable swelling between her legs). His motions stopped as her body tensed under his touch, and she nearly groaned at the loss.

 

Now they sat in silence that spanned over fifteen minutes, neither saying a word. She knew he was awake, just as he knew she was, but what was there to say? `Hey, I felt your hand on my stomach. Want to fuck? Bad Kagome,' she chided silently, `you cannot bang your cousin's boy toy! Remember all your cracks about his STD's? You really want to be on the receiving end of those, or better yet, just another notch in his bed post? Oh, he'd love that! He'd goad you about that for the rest of your life!' Kagome didn't believe that for a minute.

 

With courage only described as foolish, she pressed herself backwards against InuYasha, her head coming to incline backwards enough to make out his features in the dim light of the morning rays. Basked in a golden glow, he looked almost angelic. His eyes were half lidded, as if overpowered by sleep, or some other deep rooted emotion that he was struggling with, and were focused completely on her. Licking her lips slowly, she stared at him unabashed, her eyes locking with his. No words needed to be spoken; they could see the truth through the reflections of their souls.

 

Kagome threw caution to the wind. Moving her left hand up to rest over his, she intertwined their fingers. His fingers closed over hers almost immediately. His thumb brushed caringly over the inside of her palm, his eyes saying the unspoken words. `I want you.' How could she deny that? How could she keep that gaze and not let him see the truth as well. `I want you to want me. I want you to take me.' she wasn't sure what encouraged her to suddenly act so brave, but swallowing her pride, she did something she had never done in her life until the night before. She made the first move. Uncoiling her fingers, she was pleased when he mimicked her actions. Splaying her fingers over his, she used her free thumb to lift up the hem of her shirt enough to slip their joint hands up her torso. Sliding up her stomach, she directed his palm to rest a few inches north of her belly button. She knew she had determined not to do this, to stay as far away from this sin as she could, but it just felt so right.

 

InuYasha was wholly shocked at her brazen move. He had spent the last two hours staring down at the girl in his arms in absolute wonder and amazement. She was so beautiful and so strong. He had known girls stronger than her to crack under half the pressure that was being exerted on Kagome. It tore into him that she wasn't willing to share her burden, that she wasn't willing to trust him. But why would she? When he had ever given her enough of a reason to do so? He had spent the last six years driving her away as far as he could, just so he wouldn't have to think about attraction or any other interference that could have interjected in his dead relationship. Maybe he had pushed her away to keep her from being hurt; yes, that sounded better.

 

But as his hand brushed over her warm flesh, all reason went out the window. Feeling her hesitation as his hand reached her stomach, his instincts kicked in. She had practically thrown herself to him, if not leading him to exactly what she wanted. The alpha male in him kicked in and dominated the situation. His hand rolled hers over while stroking her palm with his thumb gently with a soft enough touch that sent chills up her spine. He saw the affirmation in her eyes, his approval to touch her. Flipping his hand, he ran his fingertips over her sides, gently tracing her ribs to the juncture between. Brining his hand up a little further, he came into contact with the swell of her breast. His eyes searched hers again, to be absolutely sure with no hesitant doubt that this is what she wanted. Yesterday he had stopped because of that look in her eyes; the one that screamed that she was lonely and just wanted someone to tell her life would be better. She had been willing to trade her body to have that reassurance. Today, however, gone was the unsure adolescent and in her place, a confident gorgeous female who was begging for his touch.

 

Lowering his mouth to hers, he attacked her lips with gentle yet firm nips, his tongue lavishing the muscles and dipping into her sweet mouth as his hand slid up between the valley of her breasts, enjoying the way she arched her back slightly, trying to deter his hand to fall onto her aching muscle. Staring down at Kagome, he hesitated as his fingers swept back up that narrow valley of her cleavage, before sliding from their trajectory to graze across her breast. His fingers very slowly rounded the firm muscle, indulging in the softness of the muscle to his touch. He was glad that she had cast off her bra the night before; it would have only of complicated his mission.

 

His expert fingers slid around her left breast, enjoying the feel of that soft skin beneath his fingers. She defiantly had more going on than Kikyo did; not that he should have been comparing the two at the current moment. His fingers slid to her areolas, noticing how ridged the skin had quickly become. He bated her for a few minutes, not letting his fingers fall to that tiny bud of nerves that was begging for his attention. Sliding down behind the girl, so that his mouth hovered over her ear, he whispered hotly, “show me where it hurts Kagome, and I'll make it all better.” With a very hesitant pause, he snaked his tongue out and licked her cartilage slowly, enjoying the way her entire body twitched under the ministration. She would fall to pieces by time he was done with her.

 

`She's hurt, you jackass. You really want to do this to her? What will this mean when you're over? You know you can't break up with Kikyo, and you can't fuck Kagome with that knowledge. I won't allow it!' With a grunt, he closed his eyes as his fingers continued the lethargic torture. So he wouldn't fuck her, which was fine. He would still find ways to make her scream his name.

 

Kagome arched backwards as his fingers finally latched onto one of her nipples, the rough callous skin that donned his hands rubbed against that infinitely tender spot and sent shocks of pleasure straight to her core. He caught it between his middle finger and his thumb, allowing his index finger to gently scrape over the top. Her entire body rocked once, a guttural moan slipping from her lips. Kagome inhaled sharply, letting her head fall back to rest against his shoulder, her mouth inches from his chin.

 

InuYasha glanced down from under his bangs, his eyes positively glowing in the morning sun beams. He watched her mouth fall open just slightly, her eyes slowly closing in pleasure that was, and would only be caused by him. His eyes drifted towards her lips, and by God, did he want to kiss her. But that would have added to much sentiment to this, which would have turned this from being about pleasure and lust to being something much harder to define, and to walk away from. `So, you own up to exactly what Sango said, huh?' Why wouldn't his conscience go bug Miroku or something?

 

Licking his lips, he continued to gently pull at her left nipple with his fingers, enjoying the mews that left her lip when he would add a bit of pressure to his grasp, or the way that she would whine when he would drag his fingers away from her teat. She wanted it so bad, and he wanted nothing more then to roll her onto her back and take her like a full blooded Inu; hard, fast and in any of her holes that he wanted. But that wasn't a choice; at least, not at the current moment.

 

Bringing his mouth back to her ear, with a little nudge of his nose to get her to turn her head, he sucked her bottom lobe into his mouth. Nipping at it lightly, he spoke in such a husky tone, Kagome felt as if she nearly orgasmed on the spot. “Show me, baby; show me what you want me to do.”

 

Maneuvering his right hand up her shirt, he allowed that hand to indulge her neglected breast while his left captured her hand in his, leaving the warmth of her shirt.

“Show me,” he restated, his eyes burning into hers.

 

It had to be something about this man that drove her instincts into overdrive. It had to be some type of pheromone or some kick ass witch craft. He had cast a spell on her, she was sure of it. Uncaring of her current state of mind, or the fact of who he was, she latched onto his hand, and guided his hand to the top of her pants. Her fingers covered his, like a parent holding onto a child, and attempted to direct him without any self indulgence. The blanket that covered Kagome's thighs blocked her view of this descent into indecency, but she could feel it, and it was electric. “Here,” she groaned out as his right fingers tweaked one of her nipples rather hard.

 

A smirk delineated his smug features. “Your pants hurt you? Well, I can fix that without any problem.” His fingers moved away from hers, and within a second, the button on her jeans was popped and the zipper released. Rejoining their hands, he cooed, “Is that better? No more pain?”

 

Kagome could have laughed bitterly at that moment, indulging him in the truths about pain. What did he know about pain? Seeing his reluctance to move on without her, Kagome pushed both their hands down under her pants but over her boy-brief underwear. She moved their hands down lower, and attempted to shake herself loose. She had brought him to the place of her passion, of her discomfort; the show was his from this point out. But apparently, he did not see it that way.

 

Holding onto her hand, InuYasha's fingers took control. Switching the position, his fingers pressed hers to her panty covered slit, putting pressure directly to her clit. He pressed on her finger, loving the moan that slipped from her mouth as she, and vicariously he pleasured her. Hissing slightly, he brought his mouth back to her ear. “You really want to play through this barrier?” His middle finger left hers to press hard against her slit, relishing in the moisture that dampened the cotton. “Or do you want to feel pleasure?”

 

Kagome groaned as he teased her, bucking her hips lightly against his hand. She didn't want to play games anymore; the coil that was winding slowly in her gut was beginning to grow to taunt. His chiding laugher sent shivers up her spine. Why did she feel as if she had heard it before? But she hadn't, had she? Maybe it was one of those nights that she was kept up by him and… `No, you are not thinking about that right now!' licking her lips to keep them wet, she tilted her head back and groaned. Groveling and begging was something she was not used to, but hell be damned, she was about to start.

 

InuYasha watched Kagome writhe under his ministrations, knowing that he was barely toughing her seemed to be like drinking testosterone. His actions grew bold as he held her in his captivity. “Tell me, Kagome, tell me what you want.”

 

Kagome moaned loudly as his fingers slipped down to caress the inside of her thigh. `Fuck this,' Kagome though as she reached out to catch his hand. Dragging it up her body, she shoved both her hand and his inside of her panties. Bringing his fingers to her sex, she was completely ill prepared for him to take one of her fingers to do the dirty work. Controlling her index finger to her knuckle, he pushed the tip of her finger to her hardened clit, his eyes darkening to a hue of indigo. “Touch yourself.”

 

Kagome knew a command when she heard one. She had played for years as the submissive to a controlling yet ardent master. But there was something in InuYasha's voice that had never been in Bankotsu's. He cared; he actually gave a damn about seeing her pleasured as well. With Bankotsu, he had always been concerned about getting himself off before even considering what to do with her, and that was with normal sex, not just their games. Kagome wasn't sure why, but just hearing the dominant nature of InuYasha's sudden baritone voice brought a fresh wave of wetness to her already dripping pussy. Abiding his command, Kagome dragged her finger over her nub, throwing her head back in ecstasy as everything took on a crisper image. She had never been so close to an orgasm so fast in her life.

 

InuYasha watched as Kagome writhed under her own ministrations, dismayed by the fact that he couldn't watch her finger actually engage her sex. His hand hovered above hers, her actions not lost completely to him (or to his cock). He was stiff as a board, his dick begging to cum out and play. Yet he wouldn't do that to Kagome, he couldn't do that to Kagome. Watching her near her orgasm, he dipped his hand down from its sentinel over hers and placed one fingertip to her welcoming entrance. “Ask me,” he said hoarsely, “beg me to finger you, to allow you to get off.”

 

`Wow, there is a Dom in him after all,' she marveled as she jerked her head back to the pillow, her entire body thrashing in the buildup to one amazing orgasm. She was not one to deny a request, especially while this horney. “Inu...please, just…uhh…I need something; I need something inside of me. Please, just…let me cum.”

 

InuYasha smirked and brought his mouth to her ear. “That's not quite the right concoction of words I want.”

 

Kagome's eyes darkened for a minute before a playful smile grew on her face as well. Her right hand continued to work her clit over as her left snaked back behind her body. The thing pressing against her back wasn't hard to miss, and Kagome was nearly sure that InuYasha hadn't brought the flashlight to bed with him. Grabbing onto his length, covered only by his pajama pants, she pumped him once closed fisted. Hearing his gasp and audible grunt, she knew that the cotton would chafe his member, and if he was any type of normal guy, he would know that as well. If he wanted to have his fun, then she would as well. “I'll beg when you do.” She pumped him again for good measure, trying to put off that swelling knot that was building in her gut. If she didn't cum soon, she was nearly sure her head would explode.

 

InuYasha held back his smirk. `So the bitch plays dirty,' his youkai suddenly quipped, `she don't know who she's fuckin' with, does she? We invented dirty.' Pressing his index and middle finger into her sopping wet passage, he licked her ear. “I don't do the begging, princess. Don't play on the tracks little girl.” His tongue traced her neck as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of her tight canal. She was tight, not quite as tight as he had expected (he thought he would lose a finger to the vice grip) but damn, the fit was nearly perfect. There was something about feeling her from the inside that turned this situation from a casual fling to something deeper, something more meaningful. This didn't feel like everything else in his life did, this felt real. He wanted to be here, with her, doing this. He wanted to hear her moan, to be able to goad her into a blissful orgasm. He wanted her.

 

A breeze of cold air on his balls was all that prepared InuYasha for Kagome's hand seeking out his cock inside of his boxers and exposing him to her hungry eyes. Looking down, he knew that Kagome could only get a very brief side view of his penis, but it still wasn't fair. She was playing dirty again, she was getting more luxuries. “So, you want to watch?” he mused as he pushed a third finger into her pussy. “You want to see your hand pumping my cock? Does that shit turn you on, Kagome? Go ahead baby, cum for me, and then I'll show you what you're begging for.”

 

Kagome could swear she saw stars. With her ministrations against her clit, his cock in her other hand and three of his fingers pumping her like an oil rig, she burst. The world seemed to stop dead as her entire body spasmed backwards into the soft mattress. Her mind reveled in the release of tension and every other problem that had plagued her for the past few days. The world hazed into darkness for a moment, shapes floating in front of her eyes as her cunt constricted around the penetrating intruders; she could feel her groin tighten, her canal flooding over with her essence. She ripped her hand away from her clit as her entire body arched off the pillow. It was amazing.

 

InuYasha watched Kagome carefully, amazed at how beautiful she looked amidst the throes of passion. Continuing to pump his hand, he prolonged her momentous orgasm for at least an extra five seconds of bliss. It was in those moments when she completely surrendered her body to him that he realized that he could spend the rest of his life with her and be okay about it. No other man would ever get to see this, to see her in such an intimate state, he decided abruptly. Kagome was officially his; there wasn't a question in his mind.

 

As he pumped his hand into her excruciatingly sensitive region again, her hand tightened on his dick. He was a man of street smarts and he knew that sigh; she wanted him to stop. Gently pulling his hand from her pants, he raised it to his cock and pushed her hand off. “I can take care of this problem,” he spoke softly, as if afraid to disturb her from her post-orgasmic glory.

 

Kagome opened her eyes, aware that she was laying flat on her back with InuYasha kneeling next to her, his cock in his hand. She blinked herself down from her high and turned onto her left side to stare at the man who had given her that said pleasure. Nothing else mattered at this moment besides for the two of them in the bed. Pleasure was forefront on her mind, and his disposition spoke to something deep inside of her, ordering her to take care of his problem. The funny thing was, for the first time, she wanted to do this; she wanted to help him. “No,” she cooed as she reached for him. At this point, she would have given him anything he wanted. “You did me, I owe you.”

InuYasha swatted her hand away as he pumped his member over her stomach. “Save it for another day; I'll take you up on that later. I got this.” He carefully watched her expression as he turned slightly, on his knees, to aim his cock more towards her cotton clad breasts. Seeing her eyes widen slightly, and her tongue dart out to rub against her lips, he knew instantly that she was into the freaky shit. And that knowledge alone was a dangerous tool. Pumping his cock even harder with his attention focused on her lips, he sneered, “you're staring at my cock, little girl. Something you haven't seen before? Do you even know where it goes?” So he was goading her, but hell, it was getting his rocks off. His hand raked over the tip of his member, rubbing the mushroom cap with three fingers before jerking back hard on the skin, dragging his hand back his base and then repeating the action. He couldn't wrap his mind around the situation before him, besides for the fact that he was kneeling above Kagome, jerking his cock with all intent on emptying his balls over her beautiful rack and face. Throwing his head back, he could feel the pressure in his balls begin to recede, the anxiety surmounting to a loud crescendo of indivisible melodies.

 

Kagome opened her mouth to respond then shut it. The man was beautiful, how had she never noticed? He knelt above her, shirtless, like Adonis himself. His chest was chiseled perfectly, and she didn't doubt that he hadn't an ounce of fat anywhere on his bones. His cock was another thing of beauty; seemingly eight inches, if not nine long and wide enough to split her in two, Kagome was completely taken back by the penis that was being dangled in her face. Flicking out her tongue, a part of her was demanding to sit up and take that bad boy in her mouth until it withered. She could nearly taste that beautiful precum that oozed from the tiny slit. She watched as he pleasured himself, her mouth watering with desire. She had never wanted someone so much in her life.

 

“Open your mouth.”

 

Kagome glanced up at InuYasha, her eyes widening slightly at the rasp tone of his voice. Could he read her mind, or was she just that obvious? The look on his face was devastating; his eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, his chin tipped towards the ceiling and his black tresses caressing back over his shoulders and down his back. He was about to blow his load…all over her. Without a hesitation, Kagome opened up her mouth and stuck out her tongue. Closing her eyes, she jumped as the first load of his cum hit her lips.

 

Pump after pump, InuYasha filled her mouth with his sperm, his head snapping forwards as his system overloaded in one giant detonation. Watching his cum squirt from his cock into her mouth proved nearly too much for him to handle, as his hand worked double time on his member. It was only after the last drop of cum left his penis that she actually swallowed, like a well trained slut. He nearly fell forward, the world exploding over and over again with the after glory of such an orgasm.

 

Kagome allowed InuYasha a hesitation of that bliss, and a moment to note that she had gathered all of his semen in her mouth before actually indulging in the taste. It was a trick she had learned early on, something that always drove the men crazy. It worked, she noted with a smirk that could rival his, as she licked her lips for the after taste, making sure she got it all.

 

InuYasha gave into gravity a minute later, falling forward to brace himself inches above Kagome, their noses nearly touching. Staring into her chocolate eyes, he hardly knew what to say. That was the best orgasm of his life, without question, but how to tell her? Better yet, how could he say anything else to her? They had seriously crossed that damned line now. Kagome was apparently still lost in the seduction of the moment.

 

Kagome stared up into those beautiful indigo eyes before snaking out her tongue to trace his lips, enjoying the last taste she would probably get of this handsome man who had slipped past her radar. He was not hers, he would never be hers. This…these past few hours could never happen again, it didn't to be said to be known. She didn't want to hear it either. Rubbing her nose against his gently, in the most sensitive show of compassion she had made in a while, she whispered, “I'm tired.” She couldn't simply stand up, put on clothes and walk from the room, not after that. And a part of her couldn't even look him in the face. Coming down from her high was the roughest de-tox she had ever indulged in. The weight of reality fell on her like an anvil in one of those stupid Animaniacs cartoons.

 

InuYasha held back a laugh as he pushed off his hands to fall behind her, resuming their previous night's position. Embracing her, he asked smugly, “How can you possibly be tired? You just slept for fourteen hours.”

 

Kagome shrugged haphazardly, closing her eyes and snuggling backwards into his warm and sweaty chest. “I just am.” That was defiantly a finite statement. She didn't want to talk anymore; she just wanted to bask in the moment.

 

InuYasha watched as Kagome attempted, and pretended, to fall back asleep, knowing that she was putting off the inevitable. She didn't want to make this end; she didn't want to walk away. He knew it wouldn't last past this, that what they did would always remain a secret to this room, never to be shared else where. It was her way of ending it. As much as it hurt, and more then he hated to admit it, it was the truth.

 

Laying his head down behind hers, he decided to indulge her for a few more minutes. What could it hurt…besides their hearts?

 

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X*X*

A big thank you to everyone who voted for Shades of Gray in the IYFG 4th quarter noms. It took first place in best dark fic and third in best lemon (go figure on that one. I'm still scratching my head). But a giant thank you and mucho appreciation to you guys who keep on reading!!!

 

 

*- harisen - a Japanese fan, normally used in anime's under this title as a ridiculously large paper fan. Note Full Metal Panic (Kaname's) and Gensomaden SaiYuki (Genjo Sanzo).

 

Crimean war- a religious war waged in the Baltic over religious grounds, but the underlying influence was for control of two straights that would have been massive for transport.

 

Shout outs!!!

Drake Clawfang- no prob bob! Or in this case, Drake. Hehe. I like to think so, Miroku's great! His libido will be something to reckon with by the end of this. LMAO. Heheh. ^__^ hehe…how do you feel about Sango now? :: hides from the Rocks:; You got to understand; I like her, I do. But her personality is crafted by my best friend, who doesn't take shit, and all I see is the head on head fight that will ultimately lead to a big badaboom.

 

Blaccwolf813- hehe…Inu and Kag are on a great path for destruction. Eep? Yes, they will come to that ration slowly. Lol.

 

Inukag_obsession: how's this for fluff? Or is this just smut? Lol. yeah, Miroku is the smart one, Sango is just his helper. Lol.

 

Silveraloria- thanks!!!

 

Moon_essence1- nope, Inu got the night off (quite literally. Lol). hmm…I'm interested in knowing what you're thinking! Email me, I'm really interested to see how transparent my plots are. Shippo? No, not this time. Lol. maybe on a brief appearance. We'll see. No promises on that one. Thanks for the review!!!

 

Malice_babe- yesh, Kikyo is a bit snobbish. You'll see that more later. Hehe. Sorry not so fast but I think it's worth the wait. Lol.

 

TrinityK- yeah, he will be. It's just gonna take some time. Lol. so…how was this for non-verbal communication? HEHEH. ^__^

 

Girl_X_16- awkwardness be damned here. lol. some people decided to let out their inner demons. LOL. yeah, Sessh has his entrance queue, I'm just waiting to call it. lol.

 

Oyuki- He's almost figured it out. He doesn't have proof, and that's what is most important. What will he do with it? very little he can do. >.< Kikyo's mystery man will be divulged much later, don't look for that right now. Lol.

 

Toya's gurl: yeah, he needs to pick up a language. I figured I can't have everyone speak Japanese, that would be boring. Lol. ::sigh:: no, Kikyo is still in the players deck. Be patient with her, she's learning to be nice. LOL. ^__^

 

Lor- what kind of Grammar course are we talking? I know what you mean, but sometimes the plot can outweigh the mistakes. Must have been the case for my other story. The grammar was awful! Yeah, Bankotsu will play a creepy supporting role, and this will get darker. Promise. What will happen? Only time will tell.

 

LeilaChan- Yeah, Miro's just good like that. Lol. Kikyo's gonna be the wild card. I don't' quite know what I'm going to do with her until push comes to shove. We'll see as time goes on. I know her role throughout the story, but all of the front faces in this are facades. Everyone is wearing a mask of their emotions. We'll see which one she chooses. Yeah, Naraku's gonna ride the fence for a while. I'll let you draw up your own conclusion. Don't scratch your eye out! Cause…that would suck. LOL. ^__^