InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shades of Gray ❯ Harder to Breathe ( Chapter 23 )

~<>~ Shades of Gray ~<>~

 

~<>~ Chapter 23 ~<>~ Harder to Breathe

 

 

InuYasha grimaced as he slowly lifted his head from the soft down pillow he had it resting against. The harsh lighting of the overhead lights was nearly too much for him, even from under the shading of the bunk bed shield. Blinking a few times to reconfigure his memory, he wrapped his arm tighter around the body to his left that clung to his chest like a leach. Closing his eyes for a moment, the entire night flashed back to him in a wave of panic and slight nausea. Had he really defiled Kagome on her cousin's bed? `Shit, Kikyo has to be back!' Sitting up fast enough to throw Kagome off to his left and crack his head against the bunk bed, he readied himself to leap from the bed and make a hasty escape if need be. Glaring around wildly, he was shocked to find that it was only three AM and that it seemed that Kikyo had not yet returned.

 

A sense of relief rushed through his body as he let his eyes drift to the other occupant of the room. Indigo clashed against chocolate as Kagome stared up at him in slight confusion. He blinked only to be assaulted by a nearly devastating pain radiating through his head. Rubbing where he had so gracefully collided with the bars of the bunk bed, he threw Kagome a weak smile. “Nearly forgot where I was.”

 

Kagome continued to stare at InuYasha, almost as if she was seeing through him. With a yawn and a confused smile, she slowly lowered herself back to the mattress and had almost instantly returned to a deep sleep.

 

InuYasha watched Kagome for a moment, a rare genuine smile shifting across his lips. As the pain dulled, he cracked his neck and slid from the bed. He had to get Kagome back into her bed and then get the hell out of Dodge before Kikyo returned. Luckily he had woken up, and he wasn't quite sure why. He knew he had been dreaming, he recollected as he stepped into a pair of boxers and his discarded jeans. He was back at Illusions with the mystery girl but Miroku was with him…and a man who he could only assume was Kagejiro. They had been arguing with someone who InuYasha couldn't place a name to and Miroku had said the wrong thing and was nearly shot. InuYasha saw Kagejiro take out the man who fired the gun but InuYasha had jumped in the way of the bullet to save his friend. Stopping dead in the middle of the room, InuYasha took a deep breath, realizing how fast his heart had been beating.

 

It was odd in reflection, seeing his brother in his dreams. In this dream, he looked no different than he had seventeen years prior; silver hair down to his ears and amber eyes so sharp that they could make you bleed out your soul. `He's changed though, I'm sure,' he thought as he put on his shirt slowly. Why was he dreaming about all those pieces of his life that he wasn't able to share? `Jiro, the Goth scene, his demon blood; all of those were bits of his life that had been restricted, classified by his father. Glancing once again to the red dots on Kagome's clock, he realized that he had to move fast. The last thing he needed was for Kikyo to catch him like this. `But where the hell is she?' he wondered idly as he knelt down next to Kagome. Staring at the sleeping girl for a moment, all thoughts of Kikyo seeped from his mind. All that mattered was her; Kagome was something that he wasn't going to sacrifice from his life. His father be damned, he wanted Kagome like he wanted to live.

 

Nudging Kagome's shoulder, he brought his lips to her ear and kissed her gently before whispering, “Hey babes, you need to move up to your own bed. I'm sure Kikyo wouldn't appreciate you being here.”

 

Kagome shrugged off his weight and attempted to roll away from him with a muffled grumble that sounded like blatant irritation.

 

InuYasha grabbed her shoulder to stop her from turning away. Rolling her towards him, he scooped his other arm under her body and lifted her from the mattress. Carrying her in a fireman's hold, he walked around to the back of the bed and stared at the ladder in contemplation. `I can do this, it can't be that hard!'

 

Putting one foot onto the ladder, he turned and attempted to redistribute his weight to get Kagome up to her bed. Failing to figure out a way to proceed, he twisted back and rested his back against the cold wooden frame of the bed. Staring down at Kagome, he grunted once before kissing her forehead in a feeble attempt to wake her up. Shockingly, it worked.

 

Kagome arched her back against InuYasha's arms and nuzzled her face deeper into the nook of his neck and shoulder. With a soft sigh that bled into a yawn, she slowly opened her eyes and pulled back from her warm haven. “What's…going on?” Blinking up into the iridescent violet eyes that stared upon her so intently, she licked her lips and glanced around the room. “Where…what…”

 

InuYasha could tell the moment that the reality washed across Kagome. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes widened and she slipped from his grip to instantly back away from him. He opened his mouth but couldn't find anything to say. Instead he helped level her on her feet and nodded wearily towards the alarm clock. “It's…late. I should go.”

 

Kagome nodded twice, wrapping her arms around her naked body. “Yeah…probably.” Glancing down when her hand touched flesh, she yelped and moved faster than InuYasha could blink. She dug through her closet and threw on a tee shirt and began digging for underwear. “Wow…this…so shouldn't have happened.”

 

Why did it feel as though she had struck him? Nearly turning his head with the backlash of her harsh words, he chewed on indignation before quickly swallowing it down. That was the truth, they shouldn't have done it…but he still didn't regret it. Nodding once at her back, he grabbed his keys and made a direct path for the door. “Right...of course.” Pausing at the door handle, he glanced back at Kagome who had just about crawled into her closet. “For what it's worth,” he spoke after a heavy hesitation, “I don't regret any of this.”

 

Kagome cleared her throat and hesitated, burdened by the knowledge that she had yet again managed to say the wrong thing. Not able to meet his gaze, she chewed on her lip and softly responded, “InuYasha, I…that is…I didn't mean…” Turning to face her illicit lover, she wound the underwear in her hand around her fingers nervously. “I don't regret…”

 

InuYasha grimaced, his frown one of disappointment rather than anger. Looking back at Kagome, he forced his lips to form one solid line and nodded briefly. “Yes you do.”

 

Kagome's eyebrows dipped downward out of embarrassment. Did she really regret taking those indulgences with the man before her? Blinking once, she shook her head, trying to make heads or tails of her feelings. She didn't regret sleeping with InuYasha; moreover, she wanted to crawl back into bed with him. Somehow he managed to make her forget the troubles that plagued her life, the hardships that she had and was going to endure. He made the day just a little bit better, and to her that was worth the world. What she was regretting, however, was betraying her cousin. Regardless that Kikyo had always been a thorn in her side, more by parental intervention than her own involvement, Kikyo had always been… `Been what? Are you forgetting all the problems she's put you through, all the torment she inflicted? She's always treated you like a second hand garment and always will. You're not her; you're not good enough for her.' But was that the truth? Kikyo was genuinely upset when Kagome was hurt, she was concerned, worried even. `Kikyo might be a bitch, but she's loyal and you know it.'

 

InuYasha studied Kagome's conflicted expression before backing away from the door and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Kagome…I…” turning his face to the side, he tried to come up with the right words. “I know that we shouldn't be doing this, I'm not a `tard, but…I also know that this feels….”

 

“Right? Perfect?” Seeing his agreement to her thoughts, she nodded in assent “Yeah, I know it does. But…”

 

“No buts,” InuYasha remarked suddenly. Taking two long strides to reach Kagome, he captured her hand with one hand and her chin with his other. Staring deep into her eyes, he quickly made a decision. “It was about the moment. I don't regret it and you say you don't. So…that's what it was. We were…”

 

“Caught up in the moment?”

 

InuYasha nodded, regardless how much his mind was screaming in retaliation. “It was all in the moment.”

 

“And this,” she asked as she stared up at InuYasha, “When is this?”

 

“After. We just…walk away. It was nice, it was….”

 

“Nice.” Kagome swallowed thickly. How did that word seem to shatter something inside of her? Pulling away from him, she wrapped her arms around her body to ward off an invading chill. When did it get so frigid in the room? On a second thought, she grabbed a towel from her closet. “Right then, well…you know how to get out. I'm going to…” she hesitated in a faux pause to gain control of pitch of her voice. She was trembling now; shaken by some emotion that she could barely strike the surface of. “I'm going to take a shower. I guess…I'll…see you around then, yes?” Nodding once in an almost formal Japanese fashion, she scurried around the dumbstruck boy.

 

“Right,” InuYasha called as he spun around to keep his eyes on her, “I'm just going to…you know…before Kikyo….”

 

The bathroom door ended the sentence that InuYasha seemed incapable of punctuating. . He stared at the closed door for a moment, silently cursing under his breath. How did things go from so wonderful and being on top of the world to feeling like yuppie scum? How was it that Kagome had such a hold over his life? Letting his shoulder sloop, he turned and grabbed the door handle. Walking away was the sane option; he got what he had always wanted, what he had been lusting after. Any player would just get up and walk away, no strings attached, after tapping a fine piece of ass like Kagome. Hell, Miroku did it nearly every night, walking away from some sweet thing he picked up at a bar. But even as InuYasha lied to himself, and opened the door to the hallway, he knew that this was slowly going to end him.

 

Kagome leaned against the bathroom wall, tears threatening to rear their ugly heads and terrorize her frail stability. She just wanted to curl up and die currently. She knew that InuYasha was a dream to chase for her. No matter how right it felt, like most things in her life, this was unobtainable. She would never be able to have him; she would never be able to be with him. As long as she was friends with Kikyo, or even acquaintances with her, she could never be with him. Once she convinced herself of this, however, then it would be okay. For now though, it would only cause more tears and more frustration shoveled into her already tumultuous life.

 

Reaching down for the cold water of the tub, she listened to the dorm door slam closed. Somehow, the world really had gotten colder. Resting her forehead on the cold tile, she was hardly ready for the bathroom door to nearly fall in on itself. Jumping nearly a mile high, she wasn't able to even make heads or tails of the situation until her back was pressed against that cold complacent tile and InuYasha's mouth was sealed over hers.

 

There was no way he was leaving, not on that note. InuYasha didn't give a flying fuck if Kikyo walked in at the current moment, or his father, or hell, a fucking news broadcasting team. He wanted Kagome; he wanted to be with Kagome. He couldn't--wouldn't--put her through these games. Moreover, he needed to know how she felt; he needed to know if she felt the same way about him. As he swept her off her feet and rendered her helpless to his charm, he wasn't shocked to find that she was as bent over the situation as he was. His hands came to rest under the swell of her ass, lifting her clear from the ground to rest against the cold tiled wall. Kagome's legs came to wrap around his waist a moment later, her lips crashing against his, meeting the safety and sanity that he provided and supported for her. Though it was wrong, and Kagome knew as much, this was heaven.

 

A fresh batch of tears dripped down Kagome's cheeks as InuYasha confessed his emotions with the cunning use of his mouth against hers. The tenderness of his kiss, the softness of his touch; all of it painted a wonderful picture for Kagome to understand what he couldn't say. He wanted to burry himself inside of her again and again, to reconnect with her in a way he feared he might never again be able to feel.

 

After what felt like a lifetime, he wearily pulled back from Kagome, his hands still cupping her chin. Tilting her face up to his, he kept her pinned to the wall with his body and one hand whilst his other came to wipe a few tears from her face. Nuzzling her cheek with his nose, he inhaled softly, taking in all that she was. “Kagome, I'm sorry.”

 

Kagome pressed her cheek to his and closed her eyes. Even in the most uncomfortable of positions, she knew she could fall asleep if she wanted to in his arms, just like this. Whispering into the serenity of their moment, she broke the silence. “Don't be. I should be the one apologizing.”

 

“No, baby, hear me out. I shouldn't have put you in this position. What we did, we shouldn't have done, but I don't regret it. I have so much going on…”

 

Kagome snorted once and pressed her forehead to his shoulder as he slowly lowered her to the ground. “You think you have so much going on? You don't want to know the things that are happening in my life.”

 

InuYasha ran his hand through her hair, his eyes darkening. “Yes, actually, I would love for some type of insight. That's just it, Kagome; I want us to be more than this. I want…” he couldn't strike the red that tainted his cheeks as he looked down and scratched his neck. “I want more.”

 

Kagome swallowed down a soft sob and fought to keep herself collected. “So do I,” she muttered.

 

InuYasha gently led Kagome from the room by her hands, leading her over to her desk chair. He sat down and then pulled her between his legs, and clasped his hands around her waist. “Kagome, there's a lot about my family I can't explain. My dad is an asshole and thinks he can control my life. I've let him, up until now but there are some things that I can't fight, and some that I can. I want—more—from us, I want to be with you. You're amazing, and you're beautiful,” he leaned forward and kissed her shoulder, before slowly kissing his way up her neck. “And you are everything I want in a girl. But right now…”

 

“It can't be, I know that InuYasha. Imagine how I would feel if you broke up with Kikyo for me. I would never be able to look at her! I want to be with you too,” she mumbled while he wreaked havoc on her body. “But now isn't…” she swallowed thickly. Why couldn't she just say it? Why couldn't she just say that now wasn't a good time? `If I say it, if I tell him not now, I might lose him. I can't lose him.' Slowly, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “We'll figure this out. Somehow, I just know we will.”

 

InuYasha nodded, knowing that words weren't right for the moment. Instead he sat back down in the chair and pulled her into his lap. Putting her head to his shoulder, he rocked them slowly back and forth, hoping to buy himself just a few more minutes holding her. These were the moments he would grow to treasure, he was sure of it.

 

 

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X*XX*X*

 

 

Striding into the apartment at a quarter past seven, InuYasha hardly paused when his brother crossed his path dressed in an Armani suit and nearly barreled directly into him. Sesshoumaru sidestepped at last minute, casting his half brother a look of disdain before eyeing over his apparel with a sneer.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

“And that's your business how?” InuYasha shot back nearly as fast as Sesshoumaru asked.

 

Sesshoumaru glared for a minute at his younger sibling before slipping past him and entering the kitchen.

 

InuYasha turned to give the freeloader millionaire a piece of his mind yet hesitated when he took in the aesthetic view of their apartment. “Ah,” he cleared his throat and glanced around wildly, his eyes widening. “Did you clean?”

 

Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder as he filled his thermos with the Starbuck ground coffee. “You live like a dog, InuYasha.”

 

“Says the man sleeping on the couch,” InuYasha commented as he circled his living room to inspect his brother's work. “I can't believe that you, of all people, cleaned. I just…can't see it! I mean, honestly, did you just hire someone off the street; because the thought of you with a dust rag and a mop just really makes my day a little bit brighter.” With all sincerity, InuYasha added, “Please don't take that image away from me.”

 

Sesshoumaru glowered as he snapped on the lid to the container and grabbed his briefcase, shoving the coffee into the front pocket. “Believe it or not, Baka, this Sesshoumaru can do a lot more than you give him credit for.” Eyeing his brother's outfit, he snidely remarked, “Including the ability to dress in clean clothes. Maybe it is my imagination, but somehow I believe that I saw you in those rags yesterday as well, which could only lead me to believe that you are just getting in. Maybe this is why you are going on your sixth year in college. Do you not understand the scholastic requirement for classes, or is it that father is simply throwing his money away for your gallivanting pleasure?”

 

InuYasha flipped him off and flopped down on the couch. “I was with my girl.”

 

Sesshoumaru reached the front door and made a motion to grab the knob but his brother's words made him stop. Turning to look at InuYasha, a sudden look of commiseration crossed his face. Glancing quickly at his watch, he put down the laptop case and leaned back carefully against the door. Crossing his arms over his chest, Sesshoumaru fell silent for a moment, choosing his words carefully. “Kikyo Higurashi…she's the daughter of Takada Higurashi, am I correct?”

 

InuYasha nodded once, curiosity bringing him to sit up and stare at his brother. Sesshoumaru always dealt with Kikyo's father in business; why was he questioning details he already knew the answers to? Glancing at the time on the cable box, InuYasha knew the man had to be in Manhattan in less than two hours. Why was he spending time indulging in rhetorical questions? With a nod, he remained silent to hear his brother out. There was something about the look on his face that made InuYasha curious; he looked sincere in his interest, and that rarely happened when the two brothers conversed.

 

“Her uncle is just as powerful in the business world, but I'm pretty sure that you already know that.”

 

InuYasha raised an eyebrow at his answer.

 

Scratching his chin, Sesshoumaru pushed off the wall and opened up his thermos. Taking a sip of the coffee inside, he closed it without saying anything else. Replacing it into his brief case, he addressed his brother once more. “Father has many business associates that privately own companies that the old man longs to get his hands on. Without any family ties, however, father will never accomplish earning those rogue industries. I'm sure he would love to find a way into the Higurashi fortune.”

 

InuYasha opened his mouth then decided against commenting. Was Sesshoumaru getting to what he thought he was?

 

“Don't allow him to convince you to marry for anything besides your own emotions,” he said slowly.

 

InuYasha blinked slowly, completely amazed at his brother's assertion. Sesshoumaru was actually attempting to give him advice to watch out for his own heart. His brother was making an attempt to give a damn about him. Completely dumbfounded, InuYasha could only find himself nodding.

 

Sesshoumaru captured his brother's gaze and held it for a moment, trying to figure out if anything he said had struck a chord. Instead he found the boy nearly stupefied. “Kikyo is a wonderful person,” he added in a defensive before InuYasha could jump into his notorious tempter tantrum, “But before marrying her, I would be sure that she is whom you want to be with for the rest of your life.”

 

InuYasha felt as if Sesshoumaru had uttered some three elusive words that would never define their relationship. This was the first time that Sesshoumaru had ever made an actual attempt to bond with his brother, or for that matter, to watch out for his kid brother. InuYasha wasn't sure whether to just die of shock or to laugh himself into the grave. Still gaping at his brother, he just couldn't find his voice.

 

Sesshoumaru knew shock when he saw it. Knowing that he had never really offered his brother any type of support, he wasn't all too surprised to see that emotion register over the kid's face. Grabbing his briefcase, he made for the door.

 

“Sessh,” InuYasha called before the man could reach the door.

 

Sesshoumaru paused. Without looking back at the boy, he acknowledged his question.

 

“How would you suggest that I tell dad that I'm not in love with the woman he wants me to marry?”

 

Sesshoumaru snorted once, mostly in an ironic gesture more than anything else. “You have already been a constant disappointment to him, InuYasha; I hardly doubt that he would look twice if you were to announce your reluctance to seal the transaction.”

 

InuYasha knew that Sesshoumaru looking out for him was too good to be true. “Back to the asshole I know you to be, huh? You know, I might be a constant disappointment to dad and you might be his little pet project, but he's gonna kill you when he finds out that you left your wife. My problem is peanuts next to that. Thanks for the cover,” InuYasha winked and sat back into the couch, a snotty smirk wound tight around his lips.

 

Sesshoumaru blinked and then sighed heavily. “Worry about your own burdens, InuYasha, and I shall mine.” Sufficiently sure that he had ended the conversation; Sesshoumaru took his leave from the apartment, leaving a gaping hanyou in his path.

 

InuYasha sneered as the door shut, nearly ready to make hell. “Fucking asshole,” he commented as the door slammed shut. “Prick really thinks he's God.” Standing up, he shuffled his way into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of the already made coffee. “What a douche.”

 

“I couldn't agree with you more.”

 

Spinning on his heels, InuYasha came face to face with Miroku. With a smirk, he offered his best friend the coffee in his hands. “What's up, guy?”

 

Taking the coffee, Miroku leaned against the entrance to the kitchen and smelt the brew. “That's the shit,” he muttered before taking a long sip. Lolling his head backwards, he shrugged haphazardly. “Nothin'.” Looking at InuYasha through one cracked open eye, he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and mumbled, “You wore that yesterday.”

 

“Yo,” InuYasha scoffed after a minute with a sharp laugh, “Get off my dick, damn. Are you people in love with me or something? That's both you and Sesshiles who are watching what I'm wearing.”

 

Miroku blinked a few times before taking another sip of coffee. Keeping a straight face with the most monotone voice he could, he responded; “Oh yes. I love you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.”

 

InuYasha smirked and shook his head. “You're a fuckin' nut, man.” Going back to the coffee pot, InuYasha got himself another cup. “And I told you, I don't float that way.”

 

“That's what they all say,” Miroku jested while taking in another sip, “Until one day they decide to like cock.”

 

InuYasha glared at his friend while pushing past him to make it out to the living room. “So what did you end up doing yesterday? Sango, perhaps?”

 

“Pragmatics,” he muttered as he followed InuYasha into the living room, “But enough about me. What about you? Did you get to talk to Kagome?”

 

InuYasha did everything he could to avoid the conversation and where it was about to go. The last thing he wanted to do was to drag Miroku into the middle of this; the letch would really have a mouthful to say that InuYasha was sure he didn't want to hear. “What makes you so sure I was with Kagome?”

 

Miroku shrugged and rotated his shoulder, attempting to wake up the muscles. “Well,” he mentioned offhandedly, “I would say that you spent the night at their dorm, and before you bite my dick off; I say that because you're wearing the same clothes as yesterday and that you didn't go to that club of yours.”

 

InuYasha was beginning to wonder if rooming with a psych major really was the best of all options he had ever chosen in life. “And how do you know where I was last night? You get a tracking device installed on me?”

 

Miroku really wanted to crack a joke about dogs and leashes but decided against it. Instead, he went with obvious tactics. “Well…first and foremost, you don't have that bar hopper look right now and two; I still have your leather pants.”

 

“Yeah, about that,” InuYasha glared at his friend, a small twitch in his lips betraying his stern disposition. “When am I getting my pants back?”

 

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Now, if you're referring to my leather pants…”

 

“Oi, you can't change the possessive form within two sentences. You just said that they were mine!”

 

“Yeah, my bad.” Miroku smirked at InuYasha and sat back against the couch. “So when are you going to take me to this bangin' club? Because you know, I really want to see the darker side of you.”

 

“Excuse me?” InuYasha couldn't begin to wrap his brain around where to start on his roommate. “First off, what? Second off, no! I am not taking you to the club; there ain't no way in hell!”

 

“Oh come on! I want to see the non-stick-up-his-ass InuYasha.”

 

“I do not have a…”

 

Miroku seemed to have at that moment caught a thought, for his eyes widened to a near popping extent and his mouth fell open. “Wait, you're not one of those uke bastards who dress in spandex and get done in the ass by some guy named T-Bone, right?”

 

InuYasha slapped a hand to his face and dragged it over his face. “That's prison, Miroku. People don't run around this club with the name T-Bone.”

 

Miroku rolled his eyes and waved his hand. “Yeah, right…because that's the important part of that sentence. Fine,” he gestured with his hands, “Are you getting done up the ass by some guy named Lestat*?”

 

“No, I don't take it up the ass, thanks. Never have, never will, and you can take that to the fuckin' bank!”

 

Miroku sat back and crossed his arms. “So, are you T-Bone then? Tell me you're not…”

 

“No! Damnit, Miro, I'm a lot more a sadist than you think but fuck, not like that! Sluts are the only thing I've dominated.”

 

“Up the ass?”

 

InuYasha shook his head and held out his hand, “Do I really want to know why you want this kind of information?”

 

Miroku shrugged and sipped his coffee. “I'm just curious about what goes on there, that's all. Is it like one giant orgy or…do you meet people.” Blinking once, he asked slowly, “Wait, that girl you were telling me about a month or so ago; what happened to her?”

 

InuYasha opened his mouth and then hesitated. What had happened to her? He hadn't been back to the club since his attempt that night and after seeing Kagome, his mind had been completely off set. He wondered what happened to her after she got into the city. Did she rendezvous with Oberon? Had he given her shit for her pants?

 

“Oh shit, you met her there, didn't you?”

 

InuYasha blinked and then turned slowly to Miroku. “Err…yeah?”

 

Miroku smirked and slowly shook his head. “So who owns the place anyway?”

 

InuYasha glanced up and shrugged, “A guy named Oberon. Don't know who he really is or what the fuck he does in his spare time but the motherfucker doesn't need to work with the amount of cash he makes from that place. It's a whole fuckin' hotel, guy. You should see it, it's massive.”

 

“So you have no idea who he is beyond the name Oberon? And you've known him for how long?”

 

InuYasha flipped off Miroku and cracked his neck. “For a while actually; four years almost. I don't care who he really is, just like how I don't want him to know who I really am. He knows I'm a demon, that's enough for me. Last thing I need is some scum bag with a personality dysfunction to know that the Taisho family are a bunch of demons.”

 

Miroku shrugged, “I can see your point. So what happened to the chick?”

 

“I don't know what happened to her. I saw her last Thursday on our way up to the city and…” he shook his head, “To make a long story short, we fucked around and I damaged her outfit, so we decided it wouldn't be to great to show up together like that so I went to another bar. I haven't seen her since then.” Maybe he should have checked in with Titania, or whatever her name was. Oberon wasn't as gullible as she made him out to be; he'd have to hurt his friend if he laid a hand on the girl.

 

Miroku shrugged, “I guess you've been busy, worrying about Kagome…” pausing again, numbers started to fly through Miroku's head. More in line, it was a probability count; it was highly improbable that InuYasha met a girl at a club who he fucked around with on last Thursday who then went on alone to meet her boyfriend while InuYasha went drinking and then have two women show up with abuse; mystery girl and Kagome. More than anything, Miroku wanted to meet the mystery girl. Was it a possibility that Kagome was this girl at the club? Wrinkling his nose, Miroku discarded the thought; InuYasha would know Kagome when he saw her. There would be no physical way that InuYasha would fudge that up so bad…right? “So how is Kagome, anyway? Did you talk to her?”

 

“Talk?” InuYasha held the cup to his lips; ignoring the glare that Miroku shot him. “Yeah, we talked.”

 

Miroku could see the amusement circling his friend's eyes, along with another emotion that Miroku refused to name. “Why do I have a feeling that you did a little bit more than that?” Sensing InuYasha's profound hesitation, he nearly threw his hands up, “Oh Yash, tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't fuck her, please God tell me that you didn't screw this up.”

 

Regardless that his friend was trying to look out for his best well fair, and InuYasha knew this, he still bristled at the insinuation. “What are you implying,” he asked indignantly.

 

Miroku raised a slender eyebrow and leveled InuYasha with a hard glower. “Oh get over yourself, Taisho. You know as well as I do that you refuse to break up with Kikyo and therefore decided that you were going to talk to Kagome about ending these games. But…” narrowing one eye, he sat back and gave his best stern disapproving parent expression. “Something tells me that wasn't exactly what the two of you talked about. Now, seriously dude, I want to know that you didn't fuck her up or over or under…you know, all the position known to man…and dog.”

 

InuYasha tilted his head to the right and rolled his eyes. After a minute, he nodded briefly, “Look, it wasn't like how you're gonna make it sound…”

 

“Did you put your cock in her…”

 

InuYasha scratched his neck in discomfort and clucked his tongue once. “Look, guy, you know I ain't the type to gossip.”

 

“It's a simple fuckin' question, dude. Did you, or did you not, fuck her. And don't give me these bull shit answers, you pussy bitch. You know you fuck around all the time with girls and you always give me the dirt. What's different?” Seeing the faint redness seeping into his friend's visage, Miroku nearly burst out laughing. “Oh, that's rich! You're embarrassed. You enjoyed it more than anything; this wasn't a fuck, was it? This was one of those,” Miroku made a high pitched wavering sound that sounded oddly like displaced baby bird, “Things, isn't it? It's the category where you know that your emotions are weighing heavier than the need to spill your load. If I was a female, I'd call it making love, but you know…” he wrinkled his nose and paused, waiting for InuYasha to explode. When that didn't come, Miroku nearly did. Dropping his cup onto the coffee table, he leapt up onto the couch and jumped once, doing an awful impression of the Tom Cruise couch incident. “Holy shit, holy shit, you're in love with her. You really, really are. My god, I can't believe this. I thought I'd die before I met a girl who could school you!”

 

InuYasha rolled his eyes as his friend went much too far out of his way to put him on the spot. Seeing that Miroku wasn't about to stop, and was hitting chords that InuYasha himself was too afraid to discuss, he gathered his cup and walked around Miroku. “It ain't like that, dip shit. Don't hit your head.”

 

Miroku continued to jump up and down, yelling at the top of his lungs, “InuYasha ain't marrying Kikyo, InuYasha ain't breeding with a hoe!” Turning his tone to becoming more taunting, he followed up his childish antics. “He's in love, and he's embarrassed! He's turning red…he's walking away…” Continuing his jumping, he wasn't paying much attention to his trajectory and launched himself off the end of the couch. Nearly smacking into the wall, Miroku landed on the floor with a loud groan. “I think I broke something…”

 

InuYasha shouted from the end of the hallway as he entered his bedroom, “Serves you right, letch!”

 

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

 

Kagome sat on her bed, staring off out the window of the dorm lost in thought. She wasn't sure anymore about anything. She wanted InuYasha, she wanted him more than she wanted anything else in life, and that was saying a lot. When he had walked out of the dorm the first time, Kagome wanted to do nothing more than curl up in a ball and cry herself into a water-filled grave. Somehow, watching that boy walk away from her broke a part of her that she didn't even know was broken. What scared her was that she was already so broken that having another part of her lost was beyond anything she could accept. Life was sure shitty, but somehow as things were slowly changing in her life and people were shifting in and out, she was starting to believe that maybe it wasn't all a bad thing. A week ago, Kagome was nearly sure her life was over; granted that was with the help of a certain Masochistic asshole that she wasn't quite sure how to deal with. But after last night and the morning, Kagome was starting to compile all of her emotions. Why did it have to be this difficult? Why did she have to fall for the guy who her cousin was supposed to marry?

 

Kagome wasn't an idiot; she knew exactly why the unlikely pair was stuck together. It had been their fathers who had introduced the pair, it was their mothers who organized the first date, and it was their fathers' wallets that kept them funded. Daddy Taisho and Uncle Takada had kept the two together for their corporation needs. Takada wouldn't be able to run the business for more than another decade and InuYasha already had the blue blood running through his veins for business. Both parents would get what they wanted; money and an heir. Kagome knew that Kikyo would never go against her father, she would be too afraid of being cut off from his wallet, and as long as she was passed down to someone with money, Kikyo would never really care beyond that. InuYasha, however, was the one that was troubling Kagome.

 

Kagome understood that his father paid for his schooling and more than anything, InuYasha wanted to be done this semester. She had listened to him bitch about graduation for over a year to Kikyo and also about how much he loathed his father's control on his life. Why was he still with Kikyo after all of this? He was done, he was out and yet, they were still together. He had to know that she was cheating on him; everybody knew that she was cheating on him. Yet he stayed. She feared asking him, just because voicing her concern over their relationship would change the structure of theirs. Right now, sadly, it was just sex that was the meat of their relationship. She didn't want to tell him that she wanted more for fear that it would only further complicate their already difficult position. But she did want more, God she wanted more. She wanted to be next to him, she wanted to be with him, she wanted to be under him and by God she wanted to be in his arms.

 

There were very few men Kagome had ever really wanted in life. Crushes were few and very far in between. Truth be told, there were really only three people in life she had ever truly longed to be with, and all of them had shaped up to be nothing short of complete disasters. The first was a situation Kagome refused to even think about that had literally ended her dating career for all of high school and had turned her off to the thought of a boyfriend in general. The only reason she got into another relationship was because Kikyo and her mother thought it was for the best. Kagome didn't really count Kouga; he had been a fling that hardly lasted over a month. Bankotsu was the next one that she actually took into consideration. She couldn't deny that she thought he was sexy when she first met him, and in all actuality, he still was. Bankotsu had been on the most eligible bachelors list at least four times in his twenty-six years of life, so apparently she wasn't the only one who found the man irresistible. But the meat of their relationship was the nights that she spent appeasing him in any method he wished and after a while things turned sour. Now there was InuYasha, and she could honestly say that she wanted him like she had wanted him.

 

Kagome cringed, her entire body twitching at the thought of that…man. He wasn't much of a boy at the time, but she had been a love struck idiot. Granted, she wasn't that girl anymore, and InuYasha was so far from him; nevertheless the correlation still scared her. She had fallen for that asshole and had paid for it with a loss of innocence that no teenager should have to suffer.

 

Putting a hand to her mouth, she wasn't shocked to find herself nauseous over the comparison of InuYasha and the bastard. The latter had caused her so much heartache, that even the thought of wanting to be with someone as much as she had him caused an undeniable hurt. Tears sprung up in her eyes, and she mumbled a number of curses directed at that ass in Japan as she normally did at least once a day.

 

The jostling of the dorm door pulled Kagome from her brooding. Wiping at her cheeks, she slid from the bed and checked Kikyo's bed just to double check her cleaning job. She hadn't fallen back asleep after InuYasha left at five o'clock, and instead took to washing Kikyo's bedding. The stain had come out in the wash, but still had turned Kagome nearly ten shades of red.

 

Kikyo slipped into the room, quietly shutting the door with what sounded like a soft giggle. Kagome instantly rolled her eyes; her cousin was drunk. Turning around, Kikyo nearly leapt out of her skin when she caught sight of Kagome by her closet.

 

“Oh shit,” Kikyo breathed as her hand came up to rest over her heart; “You scared the hell out of me! What are you doing awake?”

 

Kagome raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “I just woke up. You're drunk, aren't you?”

 

Kikyo nodded twice before laughing and then waving her hand. “Only a little bit. But don't tell Daddy, `kay?”

 

Kagome smiled patiently and nodded. “Sure, Kik, I won't tell your dad.” Licking her lips, she wondered if she could get some real information out of her inebriated cousin. “So, where were you tonight?”

 

Kikyo rolled her eyes with a smile the size of Kansas on her face. “I told you…”

 

Kagome shot her a stern glower and pouted, “And you lied to me…again. Come on, Kikyo, I know you weren't with InuYasha.”

 

“Oh, do you now?”

 

Kagome nodded once. “He stopped by looking for you.”

 

Whatever Kikyo was going to say apparently slid right from her mind like all of her inhibitions because her face went pale white and her eyes widened. “What? When? Oh my God, what did you tell him?”

 

Kagome wanted to say that Kikyo looked like she was about to cry. Crossing her arms slowly, she had half the mind to blow up her cousin's spot, or for that matter, to tell her that she informed InuYasha to all of the bullshit and lies. But seeing Kikyo in near tears, regardless that it was just a drunken response, she just didn't have the bitchiness in her. “He stopped by with pizza, said that he wanted to see what was going on.”

 

Kikyo sat down slowly on her bed, her eyes as wide as saucers. Kagome could almost swear that she saw a tremor in her cousin's shoulders. “And; what happened? Tell me that you didn't say anything? Please!”

 

Kagome winced at the desperation that clung to Kikyo like cellophane. `Funny, she's nearly that transparent as well,' she thought as she sat down on the floor in front of her cousin. “No, Kikyo, I didn't tell him what you told me. I told him you were out with your friends.”

 

Kagome wasn't ready for Kikyo to launch herself forward and wrap her arms around her in a giant bear hug. “Oh my God, thank you so much Kagome!”

 

Kagome fought down the urge to shove Kikyo back. Hugging her back with one hand half heartedly, she pulled away nearly as fast as Kikyo had launched herself. “I thought you said you would stop lying to me.”

 

Kikyo blinked and then sighed heavily. Standing up with a wobble, she hung her head and spoke softly. “I didn't want to lie to you, Kaggie, but I had a few things I had to do. I told you about that guy, right? The one I met on campus?”

 

Kagome simply nodded.

 

“Well, I wanted to see him to tell him that we were done. I wanted to do it in person, it would be too wrong to tell him over the phone. We met at a bar and had a few drinks and talked.”

 

Kagome glanced at the clock, dragging Kikyo's eye with hers. “Right, but bars close at two in New Jersey, honey.” Seeing Kikyo blanch further, Kagome threw her hands up. “My God, you can't even tell me the truth for one minute!”

 

Kikyo's eyes glazed over again, tears brimming under the long lashes. “It's not that! I swear! I just don't want you thinking I'm…that I…”

 

“What, that you're cheating on your boyfriend? Too late, Kikyo, I know you are cheating on him. It's a wonder that he doesn't know it!”

 

Kikyo snorted and walked over to her bed. Dropping down on the mattress, she proceeded to cry. Burying her head in her hands, she sobbed, “It's so hard, Kagome! I don't know what to do anymore! I want to try at this relationship with InuYasha, I really do! But I have these feelings that I can't get rid of for…” burying her face, she continued to sob. “I don't know what to do! Telling him that it was over…I wanted to kill myself. He's so nice and so sweet and I really care about him. He made me actually feel something, he made me feel…nice. I've been with Yash for so long that we lost those feelings. Letting that go--I don't know if I can. But I want to be with Yash, I know I need to be with him. I have a future with him, I have security.”

 

Kagome closed her fist, her muscles clenching in rage over Kikyo's assertion. “Is that all he is to you; your security blanket? He has emotions too, Kikyo, and something tells me that you treating him like a blanket won't fly so well with him.”

 

Kikyo slowly lifted her head, tears streaking her cheeks. But the devil had decided to make a presence in her eyes, and Kagome nearly flinched. “Why are you all up on him suddenly? You haven't given a rat's ass about InuYasha for years and now suddenly it's like you care more about him than you do me. You're taking his side on everything! What the hell is going on?”

 

Kagome swallowed down her guilt and replaced it with a rage that could easily take on Kikyo's. “You know, the only reason I'm advocating his side, Kikyo, is because you're wrong! It has nothing to do with me, or these damn insinuations, but shit Kik, you're cheating on the guy and then blaming him for it! Now you're yelling at me for it, saying that what, I'm now all about him?” Kagome ignored the pang of guilt that was eating away at her and instead, focused it on rage. “How dare you?”

 

“Oh, come off it Kagome! Like you didn't cheat on Bankotsu!”

 

Kagome's mouth dropped open as she stammered indignantly, “The hell I did! I never cheated on that…” shutting her mouth, she stopped herself from calling him one of the thousand names that were sitting on the edge of her tongue.

 

Kikyo rolled her eyes and shrugged it off. “Whatever, does it matter anymore? Do you know how much InuYasha has cheated on me? He goes out to clubs, gets a one-night stand and I sit home. I have put up with it for years, and now I'm the bad person?”

 

Kagome turned her head to the side, knowing that she had a point. InuYasha was just as guilty as Kikyo on the adultery count. “No, Kikyo, I get that he hurt you, but damn, just let him go then. If you aren't happy with the relationship, and you like this new guy, then just leave InuYasha.”

 

Kikyo laughed sardonically and Kagome cringed. “Don't you get it? I can't! If I leave InuYasha, it better be for a damned richer person, says Daddy. He says that my only goal in life is to become a Taisho. He didn't want me to go to college just so that I would have no other option than to marry Yash. Hell, my mother suggested just getting pregnant just to trap him. To trap him, Kagome! My parents are so set on me marrying him, that they'd reduce themselves to thinking that. I don't even know if I want to marry him, and here they are already picking out our children's names! I can't, Kagome, I can't keep going like this. I like Yash, and yeah, I'm willing to try to fix the relationship for our parents…”

 

“Kikyo, just stop.” Seeing Kikyo snap her head up, Kagome sat down next to her cousin and grabbed her hand. “This is your life. You need to make your decisions; you need to do what you want to. When you're dead and rotting in the ground, do you really think it's going to matter whether or not you married InuYasha, or whether Daddy was disappointed in you? You need to do what you want to. You only live once, Kikyo, and you don't know when it's going to be over. You need to live how you want to!”

 

“It's not that easy! You don't know, Kagome!”

 

“Yes, I do! Damnit, Kikyo, think of who you're talking to! I've lived how I want to. Yeah, I might be single and depressed, but at least I made my own choices. I've lost people I care about because of it, but damn, I'm not ashamed of my choices.” That's when it hit Kagome, while staring in the face of her lover's girlfriend; she didn't regret an instant with InuYasha. Not one damn minute, and more than anything, she wanted to tell him that.

 

Kikyo scoffed and shot up off the bed. “What choices have you made in life, Kagome? What have you really gambled with in life?”

 

Kagome opened her mouth and then shut it. Kikyo didn't know the hardest decision Kagome ever made, and it had to stay that way. No one could ever know, apart from the three that already did. Looking away, Kikyo took a completely different answer to mind.

 

“See, you don't understand for shit what I'm going through.”

 

“We all have had our trials, Kikyo. You need to decide what you want to do. If you like this guy, then go after him. I'm sure that after all is said and done, it will be for the best.”

 

“What is it with you?” Kikyo stood up and walked around to glare at Kagome. “You act as if you want me to break up with him! Why, why now?”

 

“Kikyo, you know I've never liked the boy and you together. Do you have to ask beyond that? It's just that you seem so miserable. If you like this new guy, then give him a real chance! You know what you have with InuYasha, now you have to decide if you want this new feeling or what you already know.” Kagome winced inwardly, wondering if she was really being sincere in her advice to her cousin. It was tainted either way, wasn't it? She had honestly never liked the duo together as it was, and then to top it off, now she was having relations with her cousin's boyfriend. Either way, this wasn't going to end happy for either party, she could call it a premonition.

 

Kikyo snorted and turned away. “I'm done with this. You have no idea what I'm going through, and you couldn't understand even if you did. I want to be with him, I want to make it right, but I want him to love me, and he doesn't.” Wiping tears from her eyes, she shook her head. “What did you tell him when he showed up?”

 

“I told him you were out with friends. He didn't stick around.”

 

Kikyo swallowed thickly, her stress evident in her stormy eyes. “Thank you,” she bit out before turning around. “Kagome, just…stay out of it. I know you care, and I love you for it, but you really don't know what I'm going through, or what I'm stuck under. I want it to work with Yash, I want to make it right.” Storming into the bathroom, she slammed the door.

 

Kagome watched Kikyo walk away before dropping backwards onto the mattress and wrapping her hands around her head. “Oh my God,” she muttered as she tried to ward off the headache. Why was everything filled with so much damn drama? She absolutely loathed drama.

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X**X*X*X*X*X

 

 

*Lestat is a vampire from Ann Rice's novels.

 

~ Again with a chapter that kicked my ass. Man, I need to hire me some bodyguards!

Sorry it took so long, I was mentally blocked. X_X

 

MM.org Shout Outs:

 

Drake Clawfang: that quote will come much in handy in later chapters. ^__^ trust me, that couldn't be more of the truth spoken. LOL. thanks honey! I'm glad you enjoyed it! you know, I knew that you would appreciate the on the cousin's bed scene. LOL.

 

Oyuki: you know, Kikyo's gonna be a wild card this entire fic. I can say don't believe a word she says, but then again, I could be misleading you. LOL. she's another mystery character that you'll have to come to judge on your own. ^__^ what will Rin do when she sees the wrong brother? Be very, VERY confused. LOL.

 

Miss_Marylin69: LOL, don't worry, every thought that Kikyo would catch them. It was high on my agenda, but then again, that would only further complicate the plot. Best save that card for later. ^__^ nah, I hear you about dropping the ball soon. We'll see just how soon though. ^__^ nah, trust me, it takes a little more than this to scare me. LOL.

 

Inuyashaloverr: yes, that could have been very awkward. LOL.

 

Kagome313: LOL, honey, I'm sure we all wish it were us (females) under Inu. The man could be a god in real life (that, or someone VERY scary. LOL). I won't tell you not to believe Kikyo, but I'm not going to tell you to disregard her either. She's important in all of this, and yes, she does love InuYasha, but the reason why is the next part. She's like an onion. LOL. many layers. Sesshiles will get his in all due time, promise. ^__^

 

Midcat: LMAO, this has to be THE MOST amusing review I've ever gotten, hands down!!! thank you, thank you ::bows:: I try my best. LOL. Actually, the scene is Wednesday night, so she still has one day to show up in NYC for Bankotsu before he calls out the dogs. LOL. How was the drink? LOL. I'm sorry, I honestly have no cruel intention to make you suffer (but it's fun to hear that you're so into the story!). It really means so much to me! Updates might be a bit faster, cause my hours at work are being cut back, so we'll see. I have no pleasure in keeping you guys in the dark, I assure you. LOL. ^__^ anyway, thank you so much for sharing the awesome review. LOL

 

Toyas gurl: Fluffy will take over in a few chapters, and `Jiro equally so. Don't worry, it's slowly gonna start coming together. I hope he's going to be like Ryen, but in his own way. He's going to be a cross of the darker sides of Ryen with Miroku (with a bit of House's sarcasm). We'll see how well I can bundle this puppy together.

 

Silveraloria: yeah, it's a giant clusterfuck that will start to be understood in a matter of two chapters, promise. ^__^

 

Autumn_The_reviewer: see, I had to let inu let them get mixed up. that was my only in for `Jiro. Plus he'll be a boat load of fun…like monkeys! Lol. Rin was ambiguous because she doesn't know about Jiro. She thinks he only has one brother. If she had known… Nope, Bankotsu is like a walking Cybil. He has a split personality that he can control in this. He turns it on when he wants it on. it wouldn't have been logical for him to act the way he does with Kagome, with Kikyo, because of the power of business that her father holds. Bankotsu, however, knows that Kagome and her father don't talk. It will all be explained, promise. ^__^ thanky. I liked that lemon, but I got some more hot ones up the sleeve. We'll see. ^__^ will Kikyo ever catch them? …well…all I can say is that all good things must come to a head somewhere.

 

Shizuka Kaze: Nope, Rin has no clue about the other brother. It's in there, I promise. Sesshoumaru doesn't' accredit Kagejiro as a part of the family since he was disinherited by daddy-dearest three centuries earlier. You know, as much as I love fireworks, I just couldn't ruin the two's moment. LOL.

 

Leilia_chan: ::rings bell: you win! Oh, complicated is hardly the word for it. LOL. Kikyo is just as sneaky as Kagome, if not more so. ::high 5's back:; thank you! I'm so glad to be done with it all!

 

Loulou4729: haha, those are the greatest when you're least expecting them. Lol. ^__^ don't worry, I wouldn't' let the thought wander to far….

 

Precious: exactly, Kagome still has to deal with Kikyo by the end of this. That's why she's so hesitant to do anything about the situation. I know it bother's you, it didn't sit overly well with me, but at the same time, Rin has been avoiding the mention of said brother for so long, and being that she has no clue about `jiro, she wouldn't think to force the issue, ya know? LOL, yeah, I went back and was like O__O and fixed those errors. LMAO. Opps? Thanks for that! LOL. I'm glad that you enjoyed the car scene. I thought it fit well. LOL. thanks so much for the review, I'm always happy to hear people's thoughts!

 

InuKag_obsession: thank you! no, but right now, Kikyo won't have a reaction. I'm sure a lot of people are waiting for the same thing, though. ^__^ Bank…I'm not going to say `don't' worry about him….

 

Silvermoon maru: thanks! LMAO. I know it is; it's a giant clusterfuck of events that are strung together by silly putty and duck tape. LOL. yup, there is a whole bunch of fireworks about to sound off…

 

Inuyashacutie: thank you! I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

 

Girl_X_16: you know, I had to rush it only because of where it elevates the plot to. (that, and the fact that I can't keep dragging this on forever!). LOL. yeah he is; that wake up call is gonna be real rough, I promise! Yeah…yeah….it's gonna happen, don't worry!

 

Malitiadixie: LOL, you know, you're not the only one who said that. LMAO. Sesshiles is gonna pop an artery when he gets downwind of the whole situation, I promise. I emailed you about the secret, you peaked my interest. ^__^