InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shades of Gray ❯ Declarations of Intent ( Chapter 34 )

 

~<>~ Shades of Gray ~<>~

 

 

~<>~ Chapter 34 ~<>~ Declarations of Intent

 

 

 

Sitting in front of the little condo in the middle of the forsaken low-income ghetto was nerve racking enough for the business man, but the knowledge that he would have to get out of his Audi Coupe was nearly gut-wrenching. Maybe it was a fear of the poor, or a fear of having his car jacked, or even worse, being shot, but for Sesshoumaru Taisho, the fear was well preserved. He never did away missions, he never went on field work; for all of his life as a businessman all of his `dirty' work was done by his minions, by those he overpaid. But now he was in the middle of the Tinton Falls Low Income housing section, staring at a door that was the true mark of his trepidation, and all he could think of was his car getting stolen while he was still inside of it; though anyone who would try was asking to die.

 

Swallowing thickly, he slowly worked over the speech in his head, trying to get all of the words right. For nearly a decade and a half, he had prided himself on his charisma, his absolute supremacy of the spoken English language. He had been told once that he could sell a painting to a blind man without a single doubt. Yet now, as he stared at the faded numbers, 125, on the mold encrusted siding, he found himself at a loss of words.

 

Deep mahogany eyes glanced up to meet his reflection in the rearview mirror. Licking his lips, he stuttered through his premeditated speech. “I…I am…I…” His lips formed the formation for the syllable S to escape through his mouth, but he found his throat dry. Shaking his head, his eyes narrowed dangerously in spite of that word. He sneered once and rethought his words. “I deeply re... regre…” Closing his hand into a fist, he pounded it into his dashboard.

 

`Damn my insufferable pride,' he thought darkly as he found himself a victim once more of his father's upbringing; take everything and apologize for nothing. But this…this had turned into a grave mistake on his behalf, one that had kept him awake at night, gnawing at his gut like a thousand rats eating him from the inside out. And here he was, completely unable to even form the correct words. They didn't exist in his vocabulary.

 

Sesshoumaru knew that there was little he could do; he had dug his grave and was going to have to lay in it. He was already dead to the woman inside of the apartment, and this was merely sealing his fate. How could he apologize for what he said? How could he ever make it better? Make it right? The answer was he couldn't. It wasn't for a lack of wanting to, it was that he didn't know how to. Never once had he apologized for anything in his life time with any type of sincerity. In some cheesy after-school-special sort of way, he had been told that if he really meant it, the words would come to him. But as Sesshoumaru stared at the town house, not a single damn thought ran through his mind beyond for fear.

 

`The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,' he chanted over and over. Ducking his head, he muttered that over and over a few times, while also attempting to string together some coherent sentence that would knock Rin off her feet and back into his arms.

 

But was that really what he wanted? The worst pain he had ever known was letting her go. He was sorry for that too. This little girl was making him regret most of his life and twisting up all of his ideology. And it drove him crazy.

 

“My word choice, the previous night, was unarticulated,” he decided upon as he held his own gaze in the mirror, “I acted brashly, something I would expect someone half my age to do. What I said, I hardly meant, and it was out of anger and spite.” Yes, that would do quite nicely. After all, she had his son and never told him. She had hidden this child from a proper upbringing and from his true father. What life had this boy been subjected to thus far?

 

As he struggled out of his tiny coupe, he eyed the neighborhood with contempt. This was no place for his blood line to be. If Rin would not compromise, he would remove the baby after everything was settled. `There's a beautiful home up-state that would be quite adequate to house a young Taisho and a beautiful new wife,' his conscience, that sounded oddly like InuYasha, cooed. Maybe he could remove her too. Being with Rin again would be that dream that he never acknowledged. Up until a few weeks ago, it was something he had buried so deep within him, he never recognized it. But it was what he wanted; it was always what he wanted. And now he had a chance…one that he nearly blew. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a glimmer of hope, and he could cling to its tail feathers until he either lost completely or had her back in his arms.

 

As he slowly approached the house, he remembered the first time he had seen her…really seen her. She had been hollering at him, in his office, about his oafish behavior as of late, which she was clueless that she was the cause of. He had avoided life for a span of two weeks, trying to figure out his in the interim. He didn't understand at the time the feelings he had for the four foot nothing girl who had more balls than any man he had ever met. She was a spit-fire that was as much a demon as an angel and was the torment of his life. And as she sat there, self-righteously poking him in the chest for being ever so tardy and seemingly oblivious to the company, he had come to a revelation. He was in love with her. And he acted on it. Lacing his hand through the silk like strands of her raven hair, he kissed her. And his life had never been the same since then.

 

Then he had let her go. And for what; to have Kagura cheat on him and then leave him (or more accurately, force his hand in divorce), and to find out that this girl, the one who meant so much, had given up her life to have his child…and never told him. If she had come to him he could have at least seen to her financial needs. He could have set her up for life. Instead she was living in a sector of town that was bound to get her mugged…or worse.

 

As he approached the door, trepidation won him over. Nervous was never an adjective when describing Sesshoumaru Taisho, but it shrouded him today. After he rang the doorbell, he shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from shaking. That was the last thing he wanted her to see. Taking a few deep breaths, he rationed why he was doing this, why he was about to make a complete fool of himself. The door opened for a second and his eyes met those brown orbs he had fallen in love with so many years ago. It was a second long enough for him to take in the complete loathing expression that came onto her face the minute she saw him; like someone who ate something awful. Then she slammed the door in his face.

 

Sesshoumaru blinked once, then again. What hurt the most was the expression; she absolutely hated him. If he was a smart man, he would have walked away and given this some time to settle, but today he was not that person. Ringing the doorbell again, he waited patiently for Rin to decide that she would spare him a moment of her time. He waited five minutes. He rang the doorbell again. He waited another five minutes. Then he began pounding on the door.

 

“Rin, I just want to talk.” He shouted at the piece of plywood in front of him.

 

Inside the house, he could hear the faint sounds of growling. Without a question, he knew those sounds; an InuYoukai pup. But why wasn't he wearing a limiter? It was only after those few questions flew through his brain that something much deeper hit him like a train; that was his son. He just knew it. His fist began to beat against the door mercilessly.

 

It took about another ten minutes before the door was snatched hastily away from his fist and in it's place stood a rather pissed off mother.

 

“You have two minutes, and then you better get off my stoop before I call the police. Go.”

 

Sesshoumaru didn't doubt her for a moment. The anger that swirled in her eyes didn't belong to her, it was so obtuse and didn't fit; he had known Rin for only a short period of time but this, this was not her. She had always been so carefree and happy; anger did not do her well.

 

“Rin…I….”

 

“Spit it out,” she hissed.

 

Checking his temper as well as his nerves, he responded, “My word choice, the previous night, was unarticulated. I acted brashly, something that I would…expect someone my age...half…my age to do. What I said…”

 

Rin groaned and ran her hand over her face, holding out her other hand to stop him mid sentence. “Save it, Sesshoumaru,” she said with all the frustrations of a single mother, “I wrote those speeches for you. I spent day after day perfecting these apology speeches so that you would never have to say you were sorry. Because, Lord knows, that's not in your vocabulary. Take your foolish pride and your half felt apology and shove it. God knows you got your head up your ass already, why not a few more handfuls of bullshit.”

 

Sesshoumaru was taken back for a moment, at a complete loss of words. Rin never spoke like this. “What happened to you,” he whispered as his eyebrows creased. Was this really all his doing? Had he destroyed her as well?

 

Rin raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her body. “It's called a wake up call, Sesshoumaru. I'm a big girl now, not that flighty high-school graduate who worked in your office and worshiped you.”

 

Sesshoumaru could see the raw pain filter through her eyes as she summed up their existence as trivial. “Rin,” he spoke hoarsely, “I…” extending his hand for one moment, he brought it to cup her cheek. Her eyes closed for but a second before she pulled away as if he had burned her.

 

“No! No, I am not playing these games with you! I know now how you feel about your child, so you can just go to hell. I don't need you, I don't need anyone.”

 

The tears that welled in her eyes ate away at Sesshoumaru like acid. “I wasn't lying when I said I spoke brashly. I was angry Rin…”

 

“That gives you no right!”

 

“I'm not using it as an excuse, I am just…”

 

“—Trying to defend your actions! This is our child, Sesshoumaru, not some disease you pick up on the street. You make it seem as if he is some abomination, instead of being an actual boy; your boy.”

 

Sesshoumaru swallowed thickly, “And I regret that most of all.”

 

“All those times you confided in me that you wish you had spoken otherwise of InuYasha growing up, that you wish you hadn't tormented him for being a half-demon…I believed that you were telling me the truth. But the first thing you do is jump on our son's heritage. Who judges their own child?”

 

He couldn't argue her point. “I'm an asshole.”

 

“You're more than that. You're pathetic.”

 

Though her words wounded his pride, he took them as best he could. “You are right. But that's why I am here Rin. I want to…” it took a moment but he forced himself off the pedestal his father had glued him on so many years ago. “I need to apologize. I've been…in a tough…situation these past few weeks and my nerves are rather frayed. I was ill prepared for your news, let alone to see you again.”

 

“Then let me close this door and your nerves won't need to suffer that.”

 

Sesshoumaru closed his hand into a loose fist and hit the side of the house without force. “That's not what I am saying.”

 

“Then just say it, Sesshoumaru. Stop with these games and just say it!”

 

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and attempted to collect his thoughts as well as his nerves. How could she turn him, the coldest business man on the face of the planet into such a simpering coward? “What do you want me to say, Rin? I'm an asshole, I'm an inconsiderate prick! You know this about me! Hell, you know me better than anyone else I know! You know I am not polite nor am I nice. I would make the Grinch look like a saint, isn't that what all the office workers said about me? It's the truth, it's who I am.”

 

“No, it's who your father made you. You know damn well you can be different, you have just always made the choice not to be.”

 

“I've tried Rin, God knows I have…”

 

Rin bit back in disgust. “Oh, give it a rest. If you want sympathy, it's in the dictionary between Shit and Syphilis, look it up because you won't find it here.”

 

That shut him up for a solid minute. Staring at Rin through new eyes, he realized everything that she had given up, given away and moved on with because of his mistake. “I'm sorry Rin, I truly am. If I had known…”

 

“It wouldn't have changed a damn thing, and you and I both know that. You still would have gone back to Kagura and I would have been thrown money by your old man to shut up and disappear.”

 

“I wouldn't have let that happen.”

 

Rin shook her head and sighed heavily, “This isn't the Big Love, Sesshoumaru, we're not Polygamists and I sure as hell ain't playing sloppy seconds.”

 

Sesshoumaru winced. “Rin…I would have taken care of you, I would have found you more appropriate housing and a way for you to still go to school.”

 

Rin slowly crossed her arms, a smirk winding its cynical way onto her outraged face. “Well gee, daddy, guess what I did today; I learned how to get into college all on my very own; while managing to hold a full time job and be a single mother. And I did all without you.” Pushing her way onto the stoop she stood against Sesshoumaru in the most challenging way her five feet could to his towering height. “Now you listen to me, Sesshoumaru Taisho, I have done just fine without you. It was a mistake for me to even come to you in the first place. I am sorry that I did. But don't you think for one God damned second, that I need you in my life. Because honey, I've done just fine on my own.”

 

Sesshoumaru stared down at Rin, all the fight draining from his body. He just wanted to wrap his arms around her and crush her to his frame and never let her go. “I didn't mean it like that.”

 

“You never do, and that's the problem.” Stepping back into her house, she turned slowly to face him. “I can't forgive what you said, I can't forget it either.”

 

“I understand that, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to be a part of your life; of our son's life.”

 

“You need to give me some time.”

 

Sesshoumaru took his turn to become cynical. “You've had time, Rin. You've had the past eighteen months with him! I haven't…I haven't had a chance yet to even see him.”

 

“What do you care about some half-blooded monstrosity running around? Aren't you the one who said the world would be a better place without them?”

 

Sesshoumaru shook his head firmly in the negative. “I never meant it, not once.”

 

“You sure as hell could have fooled me.”

 

“I want to see my son.”

 

“If wishes were horses Sesshoumaru, we'd all be eating steak. I want back the man who was in love with me, but I know that will never happen.”

 

Sesshoumaru flinched under the connotation of the words. “Rin…I never stopped loving you. There hasn't been a day that I haven't…”

 

“Don't, Sesshoumaru, not another word!” Rin was suddenly very pale and looked extremely tired. The years of stress shone through her eyes. “I can't hear anymore empty promises. I can't take anymore lies.”

 

“She left me,” he suddenly declared, looking up to the sky, waiting on his salvation. “Well, she cheated on me and I am divorcing her.”

 

Though Rin wasn't a vengeful person, the news left her some relief. “Talk about the pot calling the Kettle black.”

 

“It's different. We have a child.”

 

“So that makes it wrong? When we were together, was it not wrong? When is it okay for you but not for her?”

 

“Are you defending her?”

 

Rin snorted, “No, but I'm asking you to take another look at yourself. You say that you are leaving her because she cheated on you. Is that why you're leaving her, or is that just the cover story?”

 

Was that a hopeful tone he heard in Rin's voice? Bringing his eyes to meet hers, he stared intently. “It is both. I do not love her, and I never did.”

 

Rin swallowed thickly, knowing now that she needed to close the door before she did something stupid, like forgive him and beg him to come back into her life. “I have to go now. Your two minutes are up.” She prayed to God he couldn't hear the wobble in the speech or the shaking of her hands.

 

“Rin, please.”

 

If it had been Rin's decision, he would not have seen the child that day. She would have dragged it out. Maybe for the fear of self preservation, or maybe just to keep Kenren as her own, but either way, the choice was taken away when the toddler shoved his way between Rin's legs to peer up at the stranger from his magnificent cognac eyes.

 

“Papa?”

 

Rin froze, her eyes widening as she absorbed the toddler's words. Her head swung like a rocking chair between the baby and his father. Had the child just rightfully picked out his father? “What the…”

 

Sesshoumaru seemed to be completely bedazzled. Kneeling down slowly, he gazed for the first time at his child. The boy without question was his; their eyes were so similar, the structure of the child's face was like looking at photographs nearly three decades old. Reaching out with a hand, he slowly slid his fingers into the mess of fine raven locks that graced the boy's head. And for the first time, Sesshoumaru felt his own mortality as he stared at the child. A piece of him had been buried within this child; a chunk of his heart he hadn't known was missing belonged with this baby. And Sesshoumaru feared, for the first time, that he would never have enough time with this boy. He could see his life, from the youngest memory in his mind to the day his daughter was born in crystal clear perception. He could see the time he had spent in the office, lingering around to kill time, that could have been devoted to this absolutely beautiful boy in front of him, instead of wasted fruitlessly. Time that he would never get back, be able to redirect or make up for.

 

“He…doesn't…use that word.”

 

Sesshoumaru had nearly forgotten Rin was next to him. Glancing up at the confused mother, he tilted his head to the side, never removing his hand from the boy. “What word?” It was as if he was simply floating above the scenario, playing the role of a heavenly spectator. His words tasted foreign, he could feel the blood in his veins but could do nothing to control anything. He had lost that in the moment he saw those golden orbs.

 

“Papa,” Rin's voice was scarcely above a whisper. “I've never heard him call anyone by that. My father is Pop-pop and my uncle is pappy, but that's it.” Scrunching up her face, she attempted to ward off tears. “It's like he knows.” She had dreamed of the moment that Sesshoumaru would see his child for nearly two and a half years. She had thought of many witty things to say and things to snap at but now, as she saw the pain etch its way across Sesshoumaru's face, she was at a complete loss of words.

 

“Papa,” the child chirped happily as he ran his head around the strange man's hand. He had smelt him when he pulled up in the shiny car outside and could feel him standing in the doorway. Though the baby was too young to comprehend it, a youkai's child knew their parent by smell and Sesshoumaru stood out amongst everything. He smelled like him.

 

Sesshoumaru swallowed what felt like nails. The boy was so young, so tiny and fragile and yet not all in the same minute. Inhaling slowly, he stole a quick glance up to Rin. “May I?” He motioned to pick the child up.

 

Rin seemed torn; on one hand, she wanted Sesshoumaru gone and on the other, she wanted him in her bed, with her and their family where he belonged. The tears that had been long coming finally streamed their way down her face as she slowly opened the door to her home to her wayward lover. “Please.”

 

Sesshoumaru scooped up the baby, holding him in his arms like a natural father, and stepped into the tiny apartment without a second thought.

 

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*

 

 

Kagome stood in the doorway of her college dorm room, one hand bracing her weight against the wall, the other hand covering her face. She had figured when she got back that Kikyo would be absent, probably retreating to be with her mother and father for a long weekend of mental relaxation (or anguish, in Kagome's recent knowledge). She had even expected a call from her estranged father yelling at her for being the whore he always proclaimed her to be. She hadn't planned for what lay in front of her.

 

The room was empty besides for the few items that were Kagome's. Kikyo's bed was back to the stark naked blue mattress, all of her hand quilted comforters gone without a trace. The 42” plasma that had been a Christmas gift from her father was missing as well. Her closet, her desk, and her side of the sink in the bathroom had been ransacked of their belongings, stolen away by brown boxes and a rented U-Haul.

 

Kagome's mouth was dry from the moment she had walked into the room, bitterness swelling up inside of her like a rising storm. Kikyo had moved out. Walking slowly around the mess she had left on the floor, she searched the room for any trace that would suggest Kikyo may return at some point; anything that would suggest that Kikyo hadn't given up on Kagome completely. Clothing she had borrowed from Kagome and garbage that Kagome had put inside of Kikyo's trashcan littered the floor like broken off pieces of her heart. The room, what had once been declared a castle worthy of princesses, had been turned into a broken down palace, as dilapidated and destroyed as Kagome's heart and soul. What tore another hole into Kagome's already fragile mindset was the pile of pictures on Kagome's desk, a pile that she herself had not made. They were all ripped down the center, Kagome having been cut out of her cousin's life by a pair of safety scissors in the hands of a wronged woman. The photos were those that Kikyo had cherished inside of picture books, which clung to her corner of the cork board; photos that ranged from when the girls were two years old until the previous semester at the Christmas party. Kikyo had completely ripped Kagome from her life and memory, leaving the pieces for Kagome to clean up.

 

. Kagome's eyes, already bloodshot from her night of horror and tears of betrayal, filled with those burning tears that had already seared paths down her cheeks and into her heart. Her chest compressed with the need to breath, and her inhale was staggering. She had expected anger, and rage, but nothing like this. Kikyo had been cheating on him, for Christ's sake! Kagome had always been confused over Kikyo's feigned interest in her relationship with InuYasha; one day being in crazy love and speaking of marriage, the next speaking of her latest one night stand. Kagome had never, before now, truly considered her cousin's side of the story.

 

Much like herself, Kikyo had been thrust into the adult world much too early. Kikyo had been burdened at the young age of fifteen with a relationship that could make or break her father's business. He dropped InuYasha on her like a responsibility and expected her to carry her share of her daddy's profit like an adult. For seven years, Kikyo had been burdened with InuYasha, as he had been with her. She had never been able to come to a complete understanding of their relationship because it was forced upon them and also had never experienced the normal teenage dating ritual. They had no choice, just like Kagome when Souta's secret was brushed under the rug and dissolved her parent's marriage. Kikyo was never given the proper time to decide if InuYasha was what she had wanted, which was why she was always so confused. Neither party had lived a normal life, just like Kagome.

 

For the first time in Kagome's life, she understood her cousin perfectly clear. She understood why Kikyo chose her travels on such seedy trails. And she understood that her cousin would probably never forgive her.

 

A primal cry ripped its way from her diaphragm as Kagome sunk to her knees. She clutched the first thing that was within her reach; a Monmouth university sweatshirt she had loaned Kikyo two weeks prior when they had gone to the mall. Hugging it fiercely, as if it were her remaining strand to reality, Kagome sobbed like a child. Who was left in life for her? Who hadn't she cast out? Burning bridges had become her forte, and it seemed like she had sentenced herself to exile on her own island of woe.

 

“I came to see if it were true. Dare I say that I am not surprised to find all allegations seemingly fulfilled.”

 

Kagome couldn't bring herself to look up from the sweatshirt. Burying her face in it more, she prayed that if she ignored the masculine voice in her doorway, he would simply vanish. After all, that was what he was good at.

 

“Are you going to continue to sit on the floor like a pig in filth or stand and show me the proper respect?”

 

Kagome inhaled sharply once, twice and then a third time. Why today, why now? The pieces of her sanity were hardly ready to combat this vicious battle, let alone allow her to walk away from another mind-numbing blow to her conscience. Her jaw quivered in sorrow as she slowly lifted her eyes. Ignoring him would not solve any problems. Her voice was hardly above a whisper. “Ohayou Gozaimasu, Otosama.”

 

The elder Higurashi lifted his squared chin a bit higher at the formal address. Speaking in English, he continued his degradation. “Kagome,” he responded curtly, her name rolling off his tongue with the same tone one would address words such as Chlamydia. “What have you done now?”

 

Anger surged through her body, her fists forming tight balls with her nails digging back into their fleshy graves, freshly dug the night before. Her entire body tensed at his words. Swallowing thickly, she forced out a reply. “Made a mess, it would seem.”

 

“Again.”

 

Kagome didn't have to be looking at her father to hear the sneer in his voice. There was no words to justify herself, no way to make any form of retribution. She deserved this.

 

“Your cousin returned home last night crying that you had successfully ruined her life. Imagine the shame I had to tolerate when she spoke of how you have once again succumbed to being a whore.” Walking slowly into the room, as if being in her presence would sully his soul, Kagome's estranged father made his path. “InuYasha Taisho, Kagome? Do you know what the plans that our family had for the two of them? They were to be wed to ensure our future. This has been planned for nearly a decade, when you and your whorish tendencies have once again blackened our name and destroyed yet another business partnership.”

 

Kagome sat back slowly, not able to meet his eyes, and wiped her nose on her sleeve. Inhaling sharply to clear her sinuses, she couldn't help the hiccup of desperation that wrenched through her body. “Otosama…”

 

“Don't!” Snapping around with agility a man bordering sixty should not possess, his eyes blazed with a hell fury. “Don't you dare address me as your father! I don't know what mystical creature of damnation stole my child away at birth and left me you, but I wish it would have simply taken the baby. A death would have been easier to face than the disgrace you have continuously wrought upon this family. Do you know what you have done?”

 

Kagome swallowed down her father's words with the bitterness of digesting glass. Each word cut her bleeding heart, ripping her soul to shreds. “I have shamed you,” she forced out in broken syllables.

“—for the last time.” Clasping his hands behind his back, he addressed the child he had abandoned nearly six years prior. “I will be cutting off your mother's alimony and your child support immediately. I will not aid your adventure to become pregnant again. Fornicate and ruin people's lives on your own dollar, Kagome. I want nothing more to do with you. You are to never see the Taisho boy again. It will take us years to make up for the night of damages you have caused.”

 

Kagome's eyes narrowed as they followed her father around the disheveled room. “As if you had anything to do with me for the past six years,” a raspy, wilted and bitter voice from deep within her demanded. Her sanity had suffered a heavy blow the previous day and her state of mind could well be questioned; but for her to speak outright against her father was suicide, at least in her perspective. And from the way he snapped around to face her, apparently he thought the same.

 

“For this very reason,” he spit back, “regardless of your proper upbringing, you have time and again proven yourself to be a worthless whore.”

 

“And here I thought you'd be proud,” the demon within answered. The sneer that graced her face was nearly award winning. Pulling herself onto Kikyo's naked mattress, her eyes burned holes through her father. “Conniving, manipulative and self motivated, aren't those the traits that make a Higurashi?”

 

His movement across the room hardly startled her nor did her head snapping to the left from the blow of his right hand. “You know nothing of what sacrifices I have made to cover your mistakes!”

 

Kagome rubbed her sore jaw, making more of a show than to eliminate the pain. “Right, because being raped is really my fault.” The sheer rancor of her words could corrode metal. And the gauntlet had been cast.

 

“If you hadn't spread your legs, I would still be happily married.”

 

Kagome's entire body twitched in the urge to pummel the man bloody. “God forbid my tragedy get in the way of your fortune. I guess it hurt something fierce to realize that your wife loved someone else other than for you. Unlike you, she made room in her heart for me. You never gave a shit about anyone but your precious business and your own ass.”

 

He raised his hand to strike her again, but seeing her unflinching glower, he retracted his arm to his side. “Watch your language.”

 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” she breathed out, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckidy fuck. How does that suit your cup of tea, Dad? I might as well have a filthy mouth to go with my whore attitude, as you put it. God knows I was asking to be fucked when I was fourteen, I practically begged the boy to take me while you, mom and his folks were walking the gardens.” The uncomfortable level rose in the room as Kagome let loose six years of repressed anger. “I asked his friends to fuck me too, didn't you know?” Standing up off the bed, some ounce of satisfaction was gained by watching her father retreat back a step. “It made all of my fourteen years of dreaming come true; nothing like a good gangbang to usher in those teenage years. Fuck you!”

 

For the first time in life, it seemed that her father was at a momentary loss of words. “Once you stop lying to yourself about the true events of that trip, maybe then you will start to heal.”

 

Exasperated, Kagome fisted her hands into her hair and walked in a tight circle. “Are you kidding me?” Spinning around to face her father, tears streamed anew down her cheeks. “Six years later and you still believe that scumbag over your daughter?”

 

“His parents are very prominent…”

 

“Save it! I don't want to hear this! It's the same shit you delivered to me when I told you I was pregnant, when I told you what that fucker did to me. `It's your fault Kagome',” she mimicked with scorn that burned with a hellish blaze, “'you shouldn't have looked at him; you shouldn't have shown any skin around him. You should have been wearing a chastity belt'. I was fourteen, Dad, and pretty naive at the time. After all, we all know you were never around. I told you what he did and you found every way possible to blame me.”

 

“He would have never…” sticking out his chin a bit further, he shrugged at the jacket of his Armani suit. “A boy with that upbringing does not simply rape a little girl. You had to have given him some signs, and trust me Kagome, I watched you that trip, appalled at your behavior from the day we arrived at the Hitomi residence.”

 

Kagome sneered and turned swiftly to look out the window. The overcast sky was dabbled with shades of gray as a light splash of rain trickled down against her window. “I was fourteen and he was seventeen, turning eighteen.” Looking slowly back to her father, she shook her head and crossed her arms, unable to ward off the permanent chill that crept up on her every time she was forced to remember. “He was good looking, he paid attention to me, and of course I fawned all over him.”

 

“Reserve was never a strong point of yours,” he bit back, his voice however softening a fraction of an inch.

 

Kagome hardly noticed. “He took me places, complimented me, he seemed to honestly get me and at fourteen years old, of course that makes you stupid.” Looking out of the corner of her eyes at her father, she could visibly watch his anger fade. Of course, he would be lit like a candle again in a moment. “I may have instigated him kissing me once or twice, but I never approved of what he did to me that night.”

 

“You were practically begging him for it. I know how males think, Kagome, and I know how we react. They way you stared at him, how you vanished behind closed doors with him…your mother should have kept you on a tighter leash. But she allowed you to chose this path, she allowed you to spread your legs, and for what; a bastard son who has no meaning to me or my empire? An heir with no kingdom?”

 

“—A son who I love more than anything in the world who has no idea that I am his mother. That is what was created, that is what was gained. I deeply loathe Kagawaki for what he took from me and what pain he inflicted on this family, but he gave us something in return. It's a shame that it's something you will never know, because God help me, you will never come within an arms reach of him. I swear I am going to protect that boy from everything evil in this world, evils that you couldn't protect me from.”

 

“Protection is over rated.”

 

“Obviously, says the shitty father.” Kagome hiked up an eyebrow.

 

Straightening his back, Mr. Higurashi stared down his nose at his daughter. “Understand that from here on out, you are on your own.”

 

“You're only six years to late to tell me that, Dad. I already got that memo.”

 

With a sneer, he turned and walked for the door.

 

Closing her eyes, Kagome's mind flashed to the exasperated and exhausted look that shadowed her mother's face the last time she had seen her. It wasn't fair that once again, her mother would have to suffer for her actions. “Father,” she called out after him, unable to meet his gaze.

 

Mr. Higurashi paused in the doorway but did not turn around. She could tell she had his attention.

 

“This is my fault, my burden to bear. If you wish to cut off child support, I completely understand and won't fight it, but please don't punish mom for this.” Dead silence hung in the moment. “Please,” she added.

 

“What were your words,” he asked with dripping sarcasm, “oh yes, I believe you are six years to late,” his tone deepened, weighed down by emotion, “Kauai chose her path when she decided to allow you to keep that bastard. She will live with the regrets of that decision for the rest of her life, as will you. I will have nothing more to do with this, or either of you.”

 

Kagome's hands balled to fists. “It's not her fault.”

 

“It is as much her fault as it is yours.”

 

Kagome suddenly lashed out with her left foot, kicking over her metal trashcan to make up for the scream that wouldn't come. “How can you be such as asshole? It's as much your fault as it is ours. You brought us there.”

 

“And I should have left you there.”

 

Kagome shut her eyes, her mind shutting down at the harsh words of her father. Wasn't that what she had felt for years after the divorce? She should have been abandoned in Japan, on the streets, anywhere but her home; if she had run away, her mother would still be happy, her father as well and she would be nothing but a distant memory, a picture on a shelf.

 

When Kagome opened her eyes, her father was gone. Rushing forward and nearly tripping face first over the debris in the room, Kagome shot into the hallway to see the coattails of her father's jacket. Not caring that he would never turn around, she bellowed, “Why today? Why now? After all of these years, why did you wait to come see me? I hate you! I fucking hate you!” Kagome wasn't sure when her words became slurred by the blubbering effects of sobs, but her entire body shook as she tried to breath right. Bringing both hands to her eyes, she tried to wipe away the tears that seemed to never end.

 

Turning slowly to disappear back into her room, and hopefully, from life, her eyes locked with the gentle brown eyes, staring at her from across the corridor. She had missed him completely, perched harmlessly with his arms crossed over his body as he watched the interaction with a lingering disgust. Kagome wavered in her step, their eyes never breaking contact.

 

Pushing off the wall, he slowly wrapped one arm around his friend and directed her back into her room. The anger that welled inside of him was formidable and, though no one would ever think by his appearance, he was ready to kill for this girl. She had been through enough, and it seemed that he had been of absolutely no help. All of his motives, no matter how practical they seemed, had been meant to help her. She was so confused on life between her sane self and her alter ego and he was so scared that InuYasha would just abuse the life out of her, and he had decided to take the action that she couldn't. He had seen Kikyo flirt with a thousand other men in his career as a bar tender/owner, and never would he had expected this to become such the melodrama it had. “Come on Poodle,” he declared in a much deeper tone than his normal jubilant exclamations, “let's get you cleaned up.”

 

 

*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X

 

 

Staring through blank eyes, InuYasha watched Kagejiro once again own Miroku in a game of Guitar Hero. It was funny how fast the demon had picked up on the game, as well as how fast he was able to control the `kids' toy' that he had deeply loathed the previous day. Doomsday, as he had so rightfully dubbed it. How had he been so stupid? He had stormed from the house, intent on tracking down Kagome and making her understand the truth. She would be okay with everyone once she heard and understood his side. And that was when it hit him; he was acting just like Bankotsu. He would have gladly forced his mindset on Kagome at that very moment if he hadn't of been hit with that revelation. No wonder Kagome had thought the things she had, he had realized with a dreaded rationalization. For the next four hours, he sat outside in the cold overcast weather and pondered over how he had been so stupid to screw this all up. He had finally gotten it all right in his head; to bad that didn't speak for his previous actions. He had lied to her and was caught. He couldn't blame her for what she said or what she thought; after a long bout of calming down, he realized he would have thought the same thing.

 

That frame of mind had not left him even by morning. He missed her terribly; he missed waking up with her, smelling the scent of her hair on his pillows, he missed being able to wrap his arms around her and missed…well…he missed everything; things he hadn't had the time to become accustomed to, like her wearing his battered tee-shirt with nothing else on to slip like a shadow from his room and dart down the hall to the bathroom. He also missed those things he had gotten to indulge in. He had royally screwed everything up; he should have told her the truth from the minute he figured it all out. Instead, once again, he worried about his father and his family first and his own embarrassment over the truth. He had gambled with balancing these truths on his shoulders. And he had lost big time.

 

As his blackberry vibrated across the kitchen table, his eyes followed it with barely concealed contempt. His amethyst eyes followed the contraption, willing death rays to shoot from his pupils and send the infernal device back to its fiery home world. He knew who was on the other end of the call, Satan himself, and how absolutely furious he must be. This was the twelfth call this hour, and it was only twenty past. Dropping his head into his hands, he called out weakly to no one but the angels who listened above, “I'm doomed.”

 

A hand slammed down onto the table, centimeters from InuYasha's face. Clawed fingers tapped at the wood with impatience and a snooty accent attached. “If ya not gonna answer the phone, then wouldn't it be best to turn that bloody thing off?”

 

InuYasha answered his eldest brother without lifting his head, “then he would know I'm ignoring him. It's best for him to think I've committed suicide. Maybe then he'll leave me alone. ”

 

His brother bypassed the joke, paying no attention to the ridiculous assertion. “I'd think easier ta just pick up the device and tell Da' ta fuck off. Wouldn't you?”

 

“Right, let me get right on that, says the son who hasn't been disowned…yet.” InuYasha lifted his head to glower at Kagejiro. Though no hostility or sarcasm lined his words, they still hung heavy in the air. “Why would I take advice from you? You're the one who has a bounty on his head. I don't really want that in my future, thanks but no thanks.”

 

Kagejiro grimaced and crossed his muscular arms over his chest. “Look Lad, just because ya fucked things up with your Miko, doesn't mean you get the right ta shit on us.”

 

InuYasha exhaled and wrapped his hands over his face and screamed into them, one short primal yell before wilting forward, void of any fight left in his bones. “God, what the hell have I done?” he asked in a defeated voice.

 

“Made one clusterfuck of a mess, that's for sure,” Miroku chimed in as he reached into the refrigerator. “Grapefruit,” he asked, holding one out to Kagejiro with a smirk. Maybe he could still get a rise out of InuYasha; this depression was starting to wear thin on the comedian.

 

Staring from the fruit to the boy, Kagejiro raised an eyebrow before turning back to InuYasha. “You have a choice that ya have to make, InuYasha; ya need to pick up the phone and listen to Da rant with the option to disconnect at anytime or ya can ignore him. Guarantee that he will show up here in a few hours if you take that route. My suggestion, for what it's worth, is we meet him head on. Go to Daddy's little fortress and talk it out; duke it out if need be.”

 

“You mean walk to my death?”

 

“Walk to the Gallows?” Miroku offered in conjunction with his friend's assertion. He had paused at the counter, the coffee container nearly slipping from his hand. Was Kagejiro nuts or just stupid? Why would either of them want to find Papa-Inu?

 

“No, I mean to deal with him like a man,” Kagejiro rectified.

 

InuYasha snorted and crossed his arms stubbornly, “I have no want to deal with father face to face right now. Maybe in a year or two, I'll look him up.”

 

Miroku fell into the chair across from InuYasha and kicked his feet up. “I still can't believe that slut went to her father about all this shit. It's the only way for your dad to know, right?” Miroku had no problem displacing the blame, especially if it meant he got to rag on Kikyo harder than normal. “I'm sure she left out the part of, `oh Daddy, it's awful. Even the other guy whose dick I'm sucking thinks Inu wrong for kissing Kagome.'”

 

InuYasha's lips pressed into a thin line, ignoring Miroku's rant. He knew that Miroku was more than thrilled at his current disposition; it meant he wouldn't have to deal with Kikyo anymore. “It's my only thought,” he added after a moment. His real thought, the one he didn't want to acknowledge, was that somehow Kagome was to blame. He knew anger when he saw it and she was lit the previous day; she wanted him to hurt as badly as she did. Would it be beyond Kagome, who had spent years with Bankotsu, to call him out to his father? No, it wasn't. And that scared him. Glancing up at Kagejiro, he could just about read the same thoughts going through his mind. Snapping his attention back to Miroku, he found it much easier to blame Kikyo.

 

Miroku studied InuYasha for a moment before sitting back in the chair, letting his rant subside. “So…Kagome's quite the little volcano of doom, isn't she?”

 

InuYasha pointedly frowned. “I would prefer not to talk about her right now. My life is already in shambles, let alone adding her to the equation.”

 

“She is the equation,” Miroku quipped, “and I don't know why you can't see that.”

 

“Can it, all right, Miroku? I really don't want to talk about her,” he hissed back.

 

Miroku held up both hands in front of him. “All I'm saying…”

 

“Don't.”

 

With a deep sigh, Miroku turned to Kagejiro, pinning blame in an absurd voice. “He's a little touchy right now; I think you should stop talking. Especially about Kagome, God what's wrong with you for picking that scab? Gosh.”

 

Kagejiro was not amused. As the phone began to vibrate for the thirteenth time that hour, he growled loudly. “All right pup, here's the thrown down; you answer it, you get into the car, or I answer it. Pick.”

 

InuYasha grunted a non-committed response. With a shrug, Kagejiro lifted the phone, picked up and promptly hung up on his father. “Now he knows that you are avoiding him.”

 

InuYasha was out of his chair in a second. His face went beat red in seconds, and sent Miroku scurrying to the opposite side of the room. “Why the fuck would you do that? Damnit, Kagejiro, I didn't ask you here to fuck with my life! Fuck me! Damnit, now what the hell am I supposed to do?”

 

“Ya asked for help,” Kagejiro replied coolly, ignoring just how much InuYasha had invaded his personal space, “and that's what I am here for. You don't understand Da like I do. You don't understand how he works. You can't ignore him, InuYasha, and you can't pretend like you didn't fuck up. Be a man, grow a pair and deal with this.”

 

“I…I…” Throwing his hands up, InuYasha shoved past Kagejiro and stormed into his bedroom, slamming his door hard enough to shake the apartment.

 

Miroku watched his friend storm out and then turned to look at `Jiro. Knowing that he did not want to push the demon too hard, for fear of his life and his beating heart, he still prodded. “You really think that InuYasha taking a road trip to Daddy's Neverland is a good thought? It's liable to get his nuts cut off and hung off the mirror of the old man's Caddy.”

 

“No,” Kagejiro replied, glancing at Miroku from the corner of his eyes, “but it's his best option. He screwed up and needs to face the music. While he's at it, he needs to see Da for what he truly is. He needs to see how fast his father will disown him for a simple mistake.”

 

Miroku was quiet for a moment, processing the correct words. His left eye twitched a few times as he got the deeper meaning of the eldest siblings words. “Have you stopped to wonder just how this is going to influence their relationship? Do you want to see InuYasha left on the side of the road like some unwanted Prom Night baby? You know damn well your father is going to flay him. Why are you encouraging him to walk into that?”

 

“My father doesn't have relationships, he has ownerships. If he can't control you, then you are no good to him. He will cast both boys to the side as soon as time seems right to him and they are of no further use. InuYasha and Sesshoumaru are both living in some fantasy world made up by our father that makes them feel the need to be competitive over his love.” Kagejiro barked out a very vicious, dry laugh; “The sad reality is there is no love. Father wouldn't cry over losing either or both of the boys. It would just hinder his plans.”

 

Miroku raised an eyebrow, “On what, world domination? Are you saying that your mom and Dad are really Pinky and the Brain in disguise?”

 

Kagejiro glowered at the boy. “What I'm saying is that they believe that he's disappointed in their actions. They're afraid that the might not approve or be angry. No, he's just annoyed that they changed the game. Now he'll have to rethink his strategy. He wants control of the youkai world, more than he has already, and he wants all the financial bearing of a King. He wants the world served to him on a golden platter, and he thinks Sesshoumaru and InuYasha will deliver it. T' sad part, Lad, is that both boys would if they thought it would get them an ounce of respect.”

 

Miroku found it hard to swallow down such a callous definition of the man who had paid his rent for the last four years. Kagejiro had been out of the loop for some time, a few hundred years if he eavesdropped correctly. “What if he's changed?”

 

“Men like us don't change,” Kagejiro replied, “we don't grow hearts after stone replaces muscle. We don't start caring after centuries of looking out for ourselves. I know, sure as hell is hot, that Da' is planning on fuckin' both of them out of any due rights in the end.”

 

“But you do, you do care,” Miroku corrected him. “You care about InuYasha and Sesshoumaru. Why else would you be helping them? What benefit comes to you from it? You came because InuYasha asked for help, therefore destroying your last statement. If you didn't care, you would never have booked a red eye flight here before even speaking with InuYasha.”

 

With a dark glower cast to the lone human of the house, Kagejiro stormed from the room without another word.

 

“Zing,” Miroku muttered as he busied himself in the refrigerator once again. “Maybe I shouldn't piss off the one who would actually kill me.”

 

Miroku cringed as he rethought the day. The entire world seemed to be burning down around him, and he was trying to piss on the fires to put them out. Sango had called Miroku shortly after the blow up at the house to demand details of what was going on. She was highly irate that Kagome had blown up at her as well, sprouting all sorts of conspiracy theories that didn't make sense. Miroku had to calm her down personally…twice. But even now, he couldn't explain anything to Sango without endangering InuYasha's secret. For the first time, he was really beginning to see the burden that InuYasha's heritage weighted him with. He had Sango flipping out on one end of his spectrum, wondering just why the hell her friend of two decades wouldn't answer her phone calls; he had InuYasha ready to die in battle against his tyrant father and a demon who was an admitted assassin ready to take his head off. And all this shit before lunch. Damn. It sucked.

 

Before Miroku could pull his head out of the refrigerator, `Jiro and InuYasha and had stormed back into the kitchen. Miroku tensed, wondering if his head was going to get slammed by the door of the fridge by a vengeful Kagejiro. That would be an awful way to die; he contemplated, though someone would need to clean him up. The thought was not enough to comfort him. Sliding from the fridge, he sought shelter in a corner.

 

“I am not going!” InuYasha bellowed and dumped his body into a chair at the table.

 

Kagejiro flanked right behind him, resting both clawed hands on the back of the

chair. “Yes, ya are!”

 

“No, I'm not.”

 

“I don't give a rat's ass if I have to carry ya out to the car me self, InuYasha; you're gonna' go see Da and settle this shit.”

 

“No…I'm not going to see Da',” he mocked snidely, “I'm going to sit here and…”

 

“What, hide? Mope about like the vagina ya are? Just because ya want it to be gone, don't mean it will. This isn't going to go away InuYasha, own up to it and get in the fuckin' car.”

 

“Fuck you! You don't know me!”

 

Kagejiro sighed heavily and cracked his neck and then his wrists. “All right, we're gonna play this game?”

Miroku paled and moved quickly to intervene. “Let's…have another round, shall we? `Jiro, why don't you dish us out some shots of tequila and we'll settle this after a few drinks and some anti-war maneuvers? Because to be honest; I'm not ready for World War Three to break out in my kitchen.”

 

InuYasha glowered at Miroku but didn't resist the thought. With a scowl, he crossed his arms over his chest like a lectured child. “I have no interest in what Dad has to say. Because I know already what it is going to consist of;” deepening his voice to a baritone, he puffed his chest forward and tucked his chin into his neck, “why did you fuck up, yet again, InuYasha, why can't you take simple instructions? Why can't you control your emotions like Sesshoumaru? You're worthless and I should never have taken you in. You've disgraced the family yet again.”

 

Kagejiro had paused from pouring the straight Jose Cuervo to look up at his brother with something that resembled an acute sadness. He knew those words all to well. They were his mantra growing up.

 

“Dude, why are you making your dad sound like James Earl Jones? Unless there is something else you haven't told me about your heritage, then you're way off base. I see it going more along the lines of,” Miroku tilted his head to the side and crinkled one eye like an old fisherman. “You,” he hissed in a mafia-esque tone, “despicable boy. I set you up, and what do you do; you ruin it. You're a disgrace You don't understand, you coulda had class. You coulda been a contender. You coulda been somebody, instead of a Bum. Which is what you are, let's face it. It was you…*” Noticing the blank stares from Kagejiro and InuYasha he shut his mouth.

 

“Japanese, Miroku, not Italian!” InuYasha barely resisted the urge to slam his fist into Miroku's shoulder and instead, turned to Kagejiro. “You know I'm right. Why should I subject myself to that?”

 

Kagejiro slammed back the first of three shots he laid out and then began to pour them again. “Why? Because maybe if you confront your problems,” he said without any accent clouding his words, “you won't end up like me.”

 

InuYasha balked for a moment, his eyebrows reaching for the ceiling. What can you counter with to that? It was the most honest answer he had yet from his older brother and he couldn't disagree. “It's not that…” he paused and fumbled over his words. How could he respond?

 

“It's all right, Lad,” Kagejiro slipped blindly back into his Irish role, “I'm happy with myself, it's just not a life that I would want to see you take up.”

 

Miroku glanced from the bottle of Cuervo resting in Jiro's hand to the blank face of InuYasha. “Fuck, I want to be you when I grow up,” Miroku responded suddenly, “drink all day, have really awesome cars, be able to get any woman I want…fuck, that's the life for me. You're like a modern day pirate! Except with a car, not a boat, and no gangrene of your face, hands or feet. And you don't smell…most of the time.”

 

Kagejiro glowered at Miroku for a moment before choosing to ignore him. Looking at InuYasha, he replied, “Look, Boyo, I want you ta be happy. And I know you won't find it, living under Da's domination. To be free of that leash though, you have to talk to him. Otherwise you're going to feel attached for the rest of your miserable life.”

 

“Is that how you feel?” InuYasha swallowed thickly, knowing that he was getting into some psychological shit he was ill-equipped to decipher. The only one with enough credit hours to do it was still muttering Mafia quotes under his breath.

“It's how I felt for years,” `Jiro confessed, “until I found him at that battle. Then I just felt empty. Ya grow to learn yourself as an attachment of him, not as an individual. Where as dumbass over there can think and function in life on his own, you always wonder just how this affects father and the family and you will learn to judge your movements off of that. It's why the shit got fucked up with your girly; you couldn't' tell her the truth because of the `what if' attached. You will never be free until you free yourself.”

 

“I feel like I'm sitting in on Oprah,” Miroku muttered as he went for the shot. “Just talk it out, Yash, what's the worst that can happen?”

 

InuYasha made a face and then pointed to the scar on Kagejiro's face. “He could try to take my head off. No offense.”

 

Kagejiro sighed heavily and took back his shot with the two boys. After swallowing stiffly, he replied, “He won't come after you with this tenacity; I killed his kid, don't forget.” Walking from the room, he ignored the baffled and slightly horrified stare from Miroku.

 

As Kagejiro closed the bathroom door, the front door opened and Sesshoumaru breezed through the house. Stopping only to grab his suit jacket from the closet, he turned to InuYasha. “I am heading to the mansion upstate. I have business with Father that can no longer wait. Should I assume that you are doing the same?”

 

InuYasha gawked for a moment, floundering in his words. “What the bloody hell makes everyone think that I am going to go talk to Dad? I have no want to see him!” Pausing for a moment, he took in Sesshoumaru's state of being. “Why are you going to him? Business?”

 

“I am going to tell him about Kagura and Kenren.” Shrugging into the suit, he didn't bat an eye or hesitate when dropping that bomb on the house. He didn't even seem like this was anything major; just a social call to his father to tell him he's fucked life up just as bad as InuYasha. Not for the first time, InuYasha was insanely jealous of his older brother's composure on life.

 

InuYasha slowly shook his head, trying to understand just how Sesshoumaru keep it cool, “are you fucking insane? He'll crucify you! You done fucked up worse than me! And here I am shitting kittens at the thought of having to talk to him.”

“I do not fear father.”

 

InuYasha scoffed loudly. “Why the hell not? You know what he's capable of.”

 

Sesshoumaru blinked once and then shrugged, “If he wishes to adjourn my relationship with the family, so be it. But I will take with me my clients that I have worked into being contributors to his company. And as I am sure that Higurashi will be removing his business, and that alone will cripple father. He will have no choice but to accept what I am going to tell him, or risk his entire financial stability.”

 

InuYasha eyed the bottle of Cuervo and then looked back to Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru planned on leveling Taisho Inc. above his father's head. And all he had to tell his father was that he fucked up and slept with the wrong girl. Mutiny versus coveting another girl; the odds just jumped into InuYasha's favor. “Shotty on telling him my problems first,” he cooed and grabbed the bottle of Tequila.

 

Sesshoumaru raised a slender eyebrow. “And why would I care which order we break the news to father in?”

 

“You won't. But at least your problems will make mine seem like a breeze. I'll be off the hook completely, while he roasts you. Fuck that, let's get going!”

 

Kagejiro exited the bathroom to find Sesshoumaru standing in the living room. Taking in InuYasha's position in regards to the door and Sesshoumaru's obvious annoyance, Kagejiro sighed and grabbed his coat. “I'll drive.”

 

InuYasha cleared his throat and eyed the eldest Taisho. “You don't really have a backseat. Last time I nearly had to straddle the center consol. We'll take my car.”

 

Sesshoumaru eyed the two with a type of curiosity one would exhibit while observing a traffic accident; it was repulsive but he couldn't look away. “I plan on taking my own vehicle, thank you. I have no need, or desire, to share confines with the likes of you.”

 

InuYasha took a swig from the bottle, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Go fuck yourself, Sesshiles. You, sir, are an asshole and that is why you get to tell Dad last.”

 

Kagejiro stared at the boys. “It would be easier going in a group.”

 

“And you would know a lot about that, wouldn't you?” Sesshoumaru barked back tersely. “Isn't that the last time you saw Father; when leading your group of warriors into the castle to slaughter our family?”

 

“You shouldn't speak of things you don't know,” Kagejiro replied evenly.

 

“I know enough to think that you would use this,” he pointed to InuYasha, “as an excuse to get close to father to finish him off. I will have you know, however, that I am heir to the Inu-No-Taisho throne. If you plan on slaughtering father, you'll have to kill me too. And I promise that will not be easy.”

 

Miroku winced at the sheer venom that poured from Sesshoumaru's mouth. “Ouch, Sesshiles, calm down. He's not after your throne. Shit, it seems that some of your father's psychosis rubbed off on you.”

 

Sesshoumaru shot a menacing glower in Miroku's general direction that shut him up instantly. “What I'm saying is…”

 

Kagejiro held up a hand; “I get it pup, and I want you to understand that I have no want, or desire, to see Da' anytime soon. I'm going for moral support for the both of you. Because when dad expels you, I just want to say I told you so.”

 

Sesshoumaru's back straightened to his full height. “You have no right to insinuate anything against our father.”

 

“And you don't know what you're dealing with. But enough rubbish, let's get moving and we'll see whose right at the end of the day.”

 

Sesshoumaru snubbed Kagejiro and walked from the house. Miroku trailed behind the three brothers before having the eldest turn on him. “Not you, Lad, you stay your ass here.”

 

“But…” Miroku stared helplessly at the older demon. “The fuck I'm staying here. I want to be there for Yash.”

 

Kagejiro sighed heavily, “and what effect do you think your presence will have on our father understanding of InuYasha's problem? He was told to tell no one; now a daughter of a competitor knows the truth and can ruin him. How would it look to see he has messed up more than once?”

 

Miroku licked his lips and turned his face to the ground. “Not so hot, I guess.”

 

Kagejiro patted his shoulder and nodded back to the house. “It ain't a knock to you, you're a good friend. It just ain't the right time.”

 

Miroku glanced back once to the three, but they were already beginning to argue over whose vehicle they were going to take and how many more shots they were going to do before facing this doomsday task. Entering the house, Miroku prayed silently that this wasn't going to go as awful as he envisioned it to be.

 

 

X*X*X*X*X*X*X*X*XX*X*X*X

 

So I thought some of you might get a kick out of this; I've been sick all week so that gave me time to write but I'm taking this new prescription I've never heard of. So I decided to do some research on it just to see. It was designed by Taisho industries. How fucking ironic is that?

I'm also going to reupload chapter 33, apparently half of my responses to reviews got cut off.

Sorry it's taken forever, I really am trying to get these done faster, it's just not an easy task. I'm also dedicating this chapter to Ikichira, because of the push I got from that review to get this chapter done. Thank you!!!!

 

mm.org reviews

 

This is me smiling: LOL, I am glad that you enjoyed her spaz attack. Though in the darkest of adversity, she was strong enough to try to pull herself out (though not so well, I guess). Not a problem, if there are any more, just let me know. Hope you decide to go there, it's a great school (I may go back to get my Masters).

 

Drakey: because she's Kagome and it's what I'm good at writing, the smart kind of stupid, LMAO. Kagome had never really been a rational character when emotions take charge. She'll figure it all out eventually, right now, she to busy falling to pieces.

 

Ninjagurl512: LOL, InuYasha is going to need a lot more than a hug when it's all over. LOL

 

Malitiadixie: it's very true. Don't worry, Sesshy will come around after getting a good dose of reality thrown at him. you know I never write a good Sango, I can't describe it. Maybe because in my opinion, she is very overbearing. But she cares, and in the end, it's what matters. Glad you enjoyed!!!

 

Oyuki: of course it doesn't seem right, but she's losing it right now. She's so confused, she doesn't know what way is up. It's like drowning. She is trying to straighten out her life but it just keeps hitting her over and over. Don't worry, in the end it will all come around.

 

Sovereignty: LMAO, I'm sorry, please don't die. LOL. LOL, I love that you like Jiro. I won't be doing a back fic on Jiro, but you'll get some more fun with him as we go through. Maybe one day if I decide to actually change a few names and publish this, we'll see about the character. HAPPY belated (VERY) BIRTHDAY!!!! Sorry I missed it. Hope you had fun, wicked is amazing. I've seen it twice, and so sad I missed the original cast in it.

 

Blackr0se: LOL, glad you enjoyed the fic!!!

 

Leilachan: lol, you expected a cliffy because you know me. LOL. Yeah, it's a huge mess (you know me and drama) but it's all right, they'll be okay in the end,.

 

Elemental obsession09: Yeah, darkness just seems to spill from me…is that a bad thing? LOL. Lol, thanks, I agree; I'm hoping new direction for New Moon will be a lot better than the last one. We'll see.

 

Vvkimbo07: LOL. Guess that worked out well for ya. Lol.

 

Madjax36: wow, happy belated birthday! I hope it went well for you! That's sad that it normally sucks, but I understand that. Hey, my boyfriend is born two days after Christmas, shopping for him is the pits. LOL. Talk about a drain on the wallet. LOL. Yeah, Sango fumbled and Kagome just went face first into the darkness. Is it a bad thing that those scenes are so much easier to write than the happy ones? Uh oh. LOl. The thing about Sango that most forget is that she is SO out of the loop. She has no real idea about what's going on (and I blame myself for leaving her a flat character). Yeah, a lot of dark shit but it worked out beautifully. Now we'll see where it takes us. Also, I'm reuploading my last chapter, a whole lot of the reviews got cut out.

 

Silveraloria: thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

 

InuYashacutie: lol, Kagome is hard headed because she's hurting and doesn't know what way to be angry at.

 

Ikichira: Wow, the least I can say is I'm honored. Thank you so much, you really don't know how much this review pushing me into finishing this chapter. It's been sitting partially done since January and I just didn't have the time/motivation to get it done, but you surely kicked me into gear to get it out there. LOL, I used to do the same things; get so caught up in a story that I would let term papers just slide by as I waited to catch up or get that new update. I can only be absolutely flattered by your reviews and that you are so pleased with my writings. Please, I don't ever mind hearing what people have to say, the good and the bad. As a writer, you really learn how to tone your skills from your peers, and before I hit the `big time' world of publishing, I really want to know what people think. I'm so happy to have such a great receptive crowd over this. I give a lot of credit of this story to A Midsummer's Night Dream because of the developing of two separate characters linked together by frayed `per-chances' and alter-egos. Taking that and running with it, Bankotsu/Oberon, Sha/InuYasha really just developed on their own. I enjoyed brining a real personality to Kikyo and though I don't like her, I wanted to give her a fair chance. Thank you so much, again, for the great and inspiring words. Like I said, I'm always glad to hear from others; how else do we learn?

 

Ikusa no Kuari: LOL, reading it on your phone, huh? That's a first. Thanks!!!! Glad that you enjoy it!!!

 

Twix2010: Unfortunately the end is a good deal away. With my lack of time to update, you may be waiting for a while. But I can promise I will not give up on this. LOL. Glad you enjoyed it!!!!