InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shrine Prostitute ❯ Supplication ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: FlameTwirler 
When Kagome has a problem who does she call? Ghost Busters! ...er, I mean...Our Hero!
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.29.2007 | Updated On: 03.17.2013 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.5K | Visits: 6.0K | Status: Work In Progress
When Kagome has a problem who does she call? Ghost Busters! ...er, I mean...Our Hero!
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.29.2007 | Updated On: 03.17.2013 | Pages: 4 | Words: 6.5K | Visits: 6.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Shrine Prostitute by FlameTwirler
~ ~ ~
Chapter 8: Supplication
----- To make an earnest petition, a humble entreaty to; beseech
----- A humble request for help from someone in authority
----- The act of communicating with a deity
~ ~ ~
Kagome paused in front of Inuyasha’s door, mentally pumping herself up to re-engage with someone she was supposed to have cut contact with eight days prior. She knew she could get in trouble or she could be getting him into trouble but at the moment she just couldn’t bring herself to care. She absolutely had to talk to someone or she might go insane and he was the only one she could broach the subject with.
Breathing in deeply and steeling herself, she raised her hand to the buzzer, freezing when the door was suddenly yanked open in front of her before she'd even had the chance to press the button. She blinked, stepping back to allow the woman standing in the doorway to pass out into the hall. She received a small, curt nod in thanks before the woman disappeared around a corner, Kagome’s eyes following her the whole time.
She’d expected any of Inuyasha’s other clients to look evil but this one certainly didn’t. In fact, she was wearing miko garb, the same nettle as that from the adjoining healing shrine if she wasn’t mistaken. Also her face had been drawn in some kind of overwhelming sorrow she didn’t understand but her features still showed a calm sort of beauty that made Kagome think she wouldn’t bloody up a hanyou, her hanyou she thought with a sudden pang of jealousy, for no reason.
A cough sounded behind her and she whirled to see Inuyasha in the doorway staring at her like he was seeing a ghost. He looked slightly unsure of himself and more than a little confused, as if he didn’t know what to do with the situation. Kagome herself was unprepared for the sensations that battered inside her at the sight of him again, bringing to the forefront of her thoughts all the multitude of times he’d flashed through her mind the past few days, though her treacherous mind insisted on commenting on how much better he looked in person.
She felt a blush rising on her face at the memories and was instantly assailed by nausea as she recalled just what she’d been doing at the time some of those thoughts had popped into her head. She crossed her arms in front of her body in an attempt to keep the filth in, to hide it from Inuyasha’s burning eyes.
He was still staring at her, unmoving, and she knew she had to make the first move. She opened her mouth but something entirely different rushed out of her mouth when she noticed there was no blood anywhere to be seen, that he was completely unharmed by the woman who’d just left.
She flew to him, hands stopping just short of reaching his chest, not sure if her touch was welcome or what kind of reaction it would incite. His eyes were boring into her and she crossed her arms back in front of her, desiring nothing more than to open herself to him but desperate to keep the dark corners of her mind hidden. Still, she knew she couldn’t have one without the other and she squared her shoulders for what she had to say.
“Spit it out Kagome, I don’t have much time.”
Her heart sunk a little bit at his words. “Another appointment?”
He nodded. “Yeah, Kikyou should be back any minute.”
She looked at him appraisingly. “I thought you said I was the only client who hadn’t maimed you?”
“Kagome…” he growled warningly.
“All right, all right,” she huffed. “I just…really need to talk to you. About a lot of things.”
He was concerned at the range of emotions that flickered across her face, all of which were negative. She seemed different than when he’d last seen her; she was drained, like a portion of her energy and magnetism had been leeched right out of her. Still, if she was seen talking with him in front of his room in the middle of the night…
“I don’t have time for this right now.” He had to stop himself from growling as she winced. He knew he was being an ass but with his station in the Shrine it might come down to her sentiments or his neck, and as much as he liked her he still liked himself better.
For her part Kagome was fighting to keep herself from panicking. She was a smart girl, she knew what he was doing. He’d done some of the kindest things for her anyone ever had and the way he was acting now didn’t match up. He had to be protecting himself, against what she didn’t know but could only guess had to do with her presence threatening the security of his position in the Shrine.
Oh no, was she putting him in danger just by talking to him?
Even still knowing this, she couldn’t assuage the niggling doubt that the reason he was really being gruff with her was because he saw it, he knew how she had changed into this hideous mass of guilt, could smell the stench of her and wanted nothing to do with it. Not that she’d be able to blame him.
Normally she’d let it go at that – she didn’t want to be a bother and she certainly didn’t want to place him in danger, but this was something she had to get off her chest or she’d go crazy trying to figure out on her own how to still function normally. He could decide for himself after that.
“I know you don’t have time right now, what with you having another appointment and all,” she said, the second part spoken more snidely than she’d intended as she could tell by the surprise on Inuyasha’s face. She took a second to collect herself.
“I need to speak with you though. I’d like to as soon as possible but I know that you’re the one who’s working here. I’ll meet you whenever and wherever you like but I just really need your help. Please?”
Kagome looked up at him with pleading eyes and he knew he couldn’t deny her anything, not after all she’d done for him.
Inuyasha raked a hand through his hair, mussing it even more than his earlier exertions already had. “Keh, fine woman, I’ll meet you.”
He leaned back to where he could see behind the door, glancing at the clock. “I should be able to get out of here in a couple hours. Do you want to meet then, or – ” He cut off when he saw her nodding her head vigorously. He was going to suggest they meet later in the day but he could see she was anxious to get on with it. It wasn’t like he really needed the extra sleep that much anyhow, especially not after an easy night like this one.
“Okay, 6 a.m. it is then. Where? Obviously it can’t be anywhere too public.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorpost in a show of being at ease but she could see him glancing down the hall surreptitiously.
“Could you meet me at my apartment? I know you don’t typically leave the Shrine but it’s close and we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone seeing us together there.”
Kagome missed the almost imperceptible flinch as Inuyasha misinterpreted her words, thinking she’d rather not be seen with his pathetic hanyou ass. He wasn’t sure why it affected him so much, after all he’d gotten the same treatment his whole life, but he suddenly turned angry and determined to prove he could take any challenge she threw his way, his security outside the Shrine grounds be damned!
“Fine,” he bit off, “where’s the place at?”
She rattled off the directions, a mixture of trepidations and relief flooding her system.
He waved her off gruffly, looking anxiously down the hall where they could hear footsteps. “Now get out of here. I’ll see you at 6.”
Bowing in thanks, Kagome turned and hasted away back down the corridor.
~ ~ ~
Inuyasha landed in front of apartment 305 with a bang, throwing open the door before Kagome had any chance of answering. It was a good thing it had been unlocked or Inuyasha, in his haste to get out of the vulnerable outdoors, very well might have broken through it.
Kagome spun at the loud sound and intrusion, barely managing to keep her balance amidst the tangle of blankets she had wrapped around her shoulders like a cloak. She stared wide-eyed at him, surprised at his sudden appearance and unsure of herself. She’d been sitting huddled in the middle of her bed, pondering in her mind what she would say to Inuyasha, how she could put her thoughts into form, but nothing seemed right and words failed her. Her time had been all for waste as she still had no idea what to say to the hanyou about why she’d called him here, despite the heaviness in her heart and body.
Choosing action when words failed, she strode over the door, locking it soundly behind the slightly winded hanyou.
Did he run all the way here? She wondered. Looking closely at him, the tousled hair, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the scowl on his reddened face, she figured he must have and felt poorly for asking him to risk his own safety just for her sanity of mind. She truly was a selfish person, all the more so for having gone through with her request despite knowing what it might cost him.
Double checking the blinds to see they were tightly shut she went back to the bed to sit huddled in the mass of blankets and sheets. She stewed in the semi-darkness of the room, the kitchen light the only illumination. Inuyasha did not like where this was going, not one bit if he had to judge by her mannerisms and mood.
Considering he had neither the experience nor the patience to deal with something like this he figured it best to get things moving quickly.
“So am I supposed to wrap myself in blankets and huddle in some corner too or was there some other reason you asked me here?” Mentally he winced. Not the smoothest intro ever, but what else was he supposed to say to a girl feigning hypothermia?
She sidled over on the bed a little bit, but whether in invitation for him to sit or in effort to get further away he wasn’t sure, so for the time being he held his ground.
“Am I dirty?” she asked suddenly. Inuyasha was so thrown by the question that he started tentatively sniffing at the air, wondering if her multiple layers were a futile attempt to keep in any proof of a lack of proper bathing habits.
“I mean,” she continued, thankfully oblivious to his misinterpretation, “what I’m doing is normal right? Decent, admirable even. I’ve come to a prestigious shrine to worship the kami and bring blessings to my family, to our small little shrine we call a home. I should feel honored for such a position where I’m able to do so much for those closest to me…”
“I…I mean,” she began again, clearly still lost and confused in her thinking, “my grandfather was supposed to be retired by now and living easy, his son supporting him in his old age, but dad was killed too early…too early. Jii-chan’s done so much for my mom, for all of us, despite how weird he can be sometimes.”
She raised her eyes from her cocoon to look directly at him, her gaze piercing, and he was surprised to see a faint sheen swimming on the surface. “What I’m doing is just what any good daughter and granddaughter would do. That’s right, isn’t it?”
When she paused he realized she truly meant for him to answer this time and he slowly nodded his head, perplexed by the difference in her words and demeanor and wondering where she was leading with this.
She lowered her head back down, afraid to look at him, and pulled the blankets away from her legs so that she could hide her face between her upraised knees. “Then why do I feel so dirty?” she whispered.
Inuyasha sat down on the bed, shocked.
He started to say something but she cut him off with a shake of her head.
“I feel their fingers scrambling at me, the coldness behind the touch, and I wonder if I’m any different. After all I did the same thing,” she admitted.
Crossing his arms he scoffed at the sentiment. “Keh, I don’t know what you’re going on about wench. That’s what everyone does, on both sides. It can’t really be helped, it’s just the nature of the beast. It’s what you came here for, isn’t it? Just because you can now see the ugly side and know it’s not all pretty ain’t no reason to get your knickers in a twist.”
She didn’t move. If anything she sunk deeper inside herself. “But you don’t know what I did,” she whispered.
He glared at her, wondering what on earth she could have herself convinced was so bad. “What did you do?”
“I thought about one man while with another. I’m no better than a whore.”
An irrational surge of anger exploded through him and he fought hard to keep himself in one place. “Was it me?” he finally ground out and Kagome would have to have been deaf to not hear the agitation in his voice.
She kept quiet, unsure of which way he meant the question and unwilling to give anything away. There was nothing that could convince her to ever tell him that yes, it was him, that she’d thought of him while with Kouga and one of the other Tetsudai she’d visited after him, and hadn’t been able to assuage the guilt ever since.
Inuyasha took her silence in the worst possible way, jumping to all sorts of conclusions, and pushed his palms flat on either side of his head to fight against the invading images of who else she had thought about while with him. Was that why she’d been kind? Was that why she’d been able to treat him with some semblance of normalcy?
“Was it me?” he demanded again, yelling this time and shocking Kagome enough that she raised her head from its hiding place, though she still stared straight ahead and away from him.
Taking a deep breath she knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of this and decided to go for the safer of the two directions in such a loaded question. “No, Inuyasha, I didn’t think of someone else with you.” How could I, she added quietly to herself, I didn’t know anything else, didn’t have any basis for comparison. She knew she couldn’t say that out loud though; it would give her away.
He looked quickly away to hide the sense of relief he felt flooding through him at her answer. He was tempted to turn on her and find out exactly who she had been with and who she’d been thinking of, but he knew that if he thought the conversation was uncomfortable there was no way he’d be able to handle her if he ended up pushing her to tears. She looked close enough to it already.
Kagome was thinking along the same lines and prayed fervently he’d let the subject drop.
“I’ve been showering four times a day. I just can’t seem to get clean enough. What do I do to fix it? Can it even be fixed? I didn’t know who else to ask.”
Inuyasha watched her shoulders droop again as she curled back on herself. This girl was just too dense for her own good. He crawled over slowly, so as not to startle her, and grabbed her chin in his right hand, forcing her face to turn toward him.
Quietly he asked her, “Did I make you feel dirty?”
Even then she still kept her eyes averted but he was not to be outdone. He may be a filthy half-breed, he may have contributed to this problem, but she had come to him; that had to mean something and he wasn’t about to let her get out of it now. Keeping his grip tight on her he crouched in front of her until there were only a few inches between their faces and she didn’t have anywhere to look but at him.
“Don’t make me repeat myself Kagome,” his breath hot on her face, his voice gravelly. “Did I make you feel dirty?”
From somewhere deep inside her anger bubbled up at the way he was dominating the situation. This was her problem, her conversation, she was the one who asked him here. Where did he get off trying to get her to say things she didn’t want to?
“What am I supposed to say, Inuyasha? How can you expect me to answer honestly when you’re two inches from my face?” He blinked. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen.
“What if I said yes, huh? How could I say it with you staring at me like that?” She pushed at his chest and he gave, rolling off the bed until he stood looking down at her, glaring in mixed anger and confusion.
How the hell had this managed to turn into her getting mad at him? “Well I wouldn’t have to do that if you’d look at me. What else do you expect me to do?”
The two seethed in silence, Inuyasha scared of unwittingly setting her off again, Kagome afraid of what she had to say.
“No,” she finally said quietly, his ears twitching toward her in agitation.
“No, what?!” he snapped.
Kagome turned her nose up and looked away. Was he really clueless or was this just a game to drag the words out of her mouth. Fine, have it his way.
When they came out the words seem bitten from her mouth. “You didn’t make me feel dirty, all right?”
“Then it’s not your problem.”
She whirled on him, eyes wide. How on earth had he reached that conclusion? Luckily he presupposed her question and quickly explained.
“If you didn’t feel that way with each and every guy then it must be their fault. They – we,” he gulped, “were the only thing that changed in each situation, not you.” He saw the fight leaving her and moved back over to her side, touching one clawed finger gently to her shoulder. “You just got stuck with a lot of bastards, Kagome.”
She was about to contradict him and mention that Kouga had been nice but decided against it as she wanted to avoid having to explain why she’d been so uncomfortable with him if he’d been kind. As understanding as Inuyasha was being it was still best to avoid that topic altogether.
“So no,” he continued in that same gentle tone she’d never heard from him before, “I don’t think that makes you a whore.”
She sniffled, resenting his touch and how it was breaking down her defensive anger. “Even though I betrayed one of the guys I was with?” Despite the fact that she’d also thought of the silver haired hanyou in front of her while with one of the other Tetsudai and had felt dirtier as a result, she didn’t feel treacherous for it because she’d had no real connection with him like she had with Kouga.
Inuyasha was quiet a moment and Kagome feared the worst but he continued stroking the back of that single finger down her shoulder to her elbow and back again and she had to resist the sudden desire to pull the blankets back up around her as a shield.
“Did you think of the other man because the one you were with was boring or because you needed to take your mind away?” His question caught her off guard; she’d never thought of it in that light before and wondered again about the kind of life he was forced to live that gave him such insight into a situation like this.
It was a simple answer for her. “I…I couldn’t handle the situation I was in.” She felt his grip tighten and the bare beginnings of a growl and instantly realized what she’d said. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. The guy I was with was nice enough I just … like you said, I needed to take my mind away.”
“There you go then. A lot of people do it at need, hell I’ve even done it myself recently.” He immediately clenched his teeth together and looked away, appalled at what he’d just unwittingly revealed.
Kagome turned slowly, Inuyasha’s hand dropping from her as she did so. He made to move away but she grabbed his sleeve and held him still, more from his reluctance to pull her rudely from the bed than from any real strength she had. “Inuyasha, are you…blushing?”
“Keh, stupid woman,” he turned around to yell in her face, “what would make you think that?” As she watched, his face turned an even brighter hue of red and she couldn’t suppress the giggle that made its way from her mouth.
“What’s so funny?!” he all but bellowed.
Her mirth overflowed until she was holding her other arm against her front to restrain her belly laughs. “You are blushing,” she said, moving her hand from her stomach to prod his burning cheek for emphasis.
“Am not,” he replied, pouting like a little boy and moving away from her. Kagome was too busy being thrilled about the fact that he could still act like a kid to care that he had chosen one of childhood’s more annoying mannerisms to mimic. Of course, she had her own immature tendencies as well and couldn’t let an opening like this pass her by. She stood up on the bed, intent to chase him around the room until he showed her his blazing red face again.
For his part, Inuyasha was by no means stupid, and knowing immediately what she was going to do, backed away from the bed. She lunged for him but neglected to take into account the blankets still wrapped around the lower half of her body, realizing too late that she was going to crash quite spectacularly onto the floor.
Inuyasha leaped from where he was crouching behind her desk chair half-way across the room, catching her and twisting backwards until he landed the both of them on the bed.
He froze.
There was nothing particularly provocative about the position they were in; he was on his back with Kagome kneeling to one side, leaning over him. Their bodies weren’t touching anywhere except where he had his hands on her waist and one of hers on his shoulder. Their faces had certainly been much closer earlier in the night, yet neither could deny the sudden intimacy of the moment.
She wanted nothing more than to allow herself to fall to him, to bury her head in his shoulder and never look up again. Their breathing grew shallower and the space between them closed by a scant inch before Kagome seemed to wake up. With a wrench she tore herself away, breaking the moment, and scooted away to the head of the bed, allowing her back to lean against the wall as she clutched a pillow to her. Now that the momentary lightness was gone she felt reality crashing back in on her.
She couldn’t ask him, not yet; she still needed more time. So instead she delayed.
“Who was that woman with you tonight?” She tried to sound as casual and uninterested as possible.
Inuyasha was still fighting the delicious sensations her touch evoked, no matter how short the moment had been, and was still catching up with the fact that she’d moved away from him when she spoke. He was caught off guard by the sudden change in subject, and the shift caused his hackles to rise slightly. He wasn’t sure why but something was warning him to tread carefully here. “Kikyou?”
She nodded.
“She’s one of the high miko at the healing shrine attached to ours.”
Kagome looked at him expectantly and he knew she wouldn’t let him get away with so little information. “I assume by your lack of proper clothing that you’d already had one session before I arrived to speak with you tonight.” Obviously he’d been right. “I believe you once told me I was the only one who hadn’t bloodied you up, but you seem perfectly all right to me.” Her voice pitched higher and Inuyasha wasn’t able to make out what that meant. Little did he know she was warring within herself, blasting herself for the tiny amount of jealousy she was feeling and working to convince herself that this was actually the best news she could hope for.
With a weary sigh he continued. “We’ve had an…agreement for a while. The first time we met was after one of my worst sessions and the establishment wasn’t sure I was going to make it. By now they know I’ll heal just fine, or they just don’t give a shit anymore, but since that was one of the first times I needed such severe care they called her over from the healing section to insure their assets,” he spit with disgust.
“After that she’d come over every now and again. We use each other to offer a tiny bit of solace. It’s nothing too special, but it’s a nice respite from the rest. Kikyou needs it too, I think, though I’m still not entirely sure why. She’s a very sad person, never wanted to be a miko, but was born into it and now honor bound to follow a path she doesn’t desire. She probably only uses me because I don’t remind her of what she’s lost, the whole family package with the husband and 2.5 kids and white picket fence. Any of the human Tetsudai would make her think about it too much. Either she feels as shitty as I do or she likes being around someone she knows has it worse than she does. Hell, I don’t really care what she uses me for as long as it gets me away from my nut-jobs for a night or two.”
“Oh, Inuyasha…” she breathed, wishing for the millionth time that she wasn’t such an impotent force against the fate that caused him such a horrid, cheerless life.
“It’s not like I can really complain,” he began defensively, eying her with something akin to horror at the growing brightness of her eyes, “not when I use her too.”
Kagome cracked a smile, realizing he was uncomfortable. Besides, he was just too cute when cowering like a disgusted ten-year old. “That’s too bad. And here I thought I’d single-handedly started a new movement to get you a clientele of decent women. So disappointing.” She shook her head slowly in mock dismay.
Caught up as she was by his words she was more distracted by her own reaction to them. At first she’d been appalled to find herself jealous of the other ‘nice’ woman and was relieved when the feelings began to dissipate with his story, but she wasn’t prepared for the compounded sense of disappointment that flooded her. As selfish as she was feeling at the moment she knew that she truly did wish that as long as he had to have clients that they were of the less violent variety than his current cache. While she may be pouting on the inside, curled up next to her inner-child, she knew it would be better for him and was sad to see that she hadn’t actually started a ‘hanyou-are-hot-and-not-for-beating’ club.
Inuyasha watched as she fidgeted with the pillow in her lap, getting anxious himself. He’d been away from the Shrine for too long. He was paranoid by nature but this time he wasn’t afraid for himself, he was afraid of what would happen to Kagome if he were found with her, if she’d be considered an accomplice or hanyou-lover. While she might not get any overt punishment she'd be labeled for life and be at the least a social pariah.
“There’s something else, isn’t there.” Kagome winced. She wasn’t looking forward to asking this of him and she knew it was an incredibly selfish request but she knew she had to try. She’d put off asking him for long enough but she couldn’t do that forever, unfortunately, her mind griped.
“Inuyasha, I need to ask a huge favor of you.” He immediately stiffened and while she noticed there was nothing she could do about it at the moment. “I don’t want to ask you but I can’t think of anything else to do.”
He grumbled to himself, wondering how he was going to get used this time.
“I don’t want to go back to finish off my month here in a way that makes me feel so…so unworthy. I can’t stand it and I already want to scrub myself clean again.” Noticing her slightly damp hair from when she must have had another shower just recently, he took that as a bad sign. “But at the same time I have my obligation to my family and the honor of our shrine. I’ve been sent here for twenty-eight days and I will worship the kami each night, otherwise how could I show my face back home when I didn’t fulfill my duty just because I didn’t like the feel of it?
“I’m not quite that selfish, but pretty close to it.” No, she wasn’t selfish enough to risk the kami's anger on her family, just enough to ask something that was potentially troublesome, perhaps even dangerous, of someone she barely knew but had shown her great kindness.
She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. “I want to know if you’ll be my Tetsudai the remaining nights.”
He immediately started waving his hands and opened his mouth to refuse but she cut him off.
“I know we can’t at the Shrine and if you think it’s too dangerous even here in my apartment then I won’t ask you to risk yourself like that. But as you said, you’re the only one that didn’t make me feel dirty. I don’t know how feeling like a whore can even be said to worship any of the spirits; I’m sure they don’t revel in such a feeling and would be much happier if their followers didn’t feel disgusted any time they finished such a practice that is meant to be in praise of and supplication to those beings that grant blessings.” She paused a moment to catch her breath after her increasingly rushed rant.
“You could come here each day and I’d pay you the same what I’d be paying to the Shrine – plus this way you would actually see some of the money instead of it all feeding the pockets of someone else.” He was momentarily surprised that she’d caught on to the fact that he didn’t get normal pay like all the other Tetsudai, but then again by looking around his sparse room and bare necessities it didn’t take a genius to figure out.
Kagome was getting worried. He’d been silent for far too long, his face giving away nothing. “I would really appreciate if you would do this for me but I don’t want to get you in trouble. I’m not sure what all your circumstances are and what you are and are not allowed to do,” she looked disgusted, “and I certainly do not want to be the one responsible for putting you in danger in any way. Please know I would never intentionally do that.”
Inuyasha sat still in contemplation, the moment dragging out and frazzling Kagome’s nerves. “You were already with someone tonight, right?” He spoke slowly, forming the words carefully on his tongue.
“Yes, I was,” she replied and he noted the way she pulled the blankets back up around her, hugging herself tightly.
“That means you have four days left.” It wasn’t even a question, just a statement, pure and simple, and Kagome didn’t even think to wonder why he remembered exactly when she would be leaving.
“Fine,” he said, standing up, “I’ll come.”
She jumped up, ecstatic. She hadn’t really had much hope he’d agree, no matter how much she wished it, and she was momentarily stunned, at least until she saw him heading for the door. “Wait!” she yelled. “Where are you going?”
He turned and looked at her like she was stupid. “We made our agreement so now I’m going to go.”
She knelt at her spot on the bed, staring at him beseechingly. “Please don’t go yet. I just…I…” After explaining so many things that evening she’d lost her words. Anyhow, how could she describe what she was feeling at the moment when she wasn’t even sure herself? She just knew she didn’t want him to go. “Please, I don’t want to be alone yet. Just stay until I fall asleep? It’ll only be another few minutes or so, so it won’t make much difference, right?”
He glared at her skeptically.
“I promise I’ll make you dinner every night,” she declared, her voice rising in hope even though she doubted the pathetic attempt at bribery would work.
Heaving a long suffering sigh he marched over to her and sat on the very edge of the bed, relaxing his head back against the headboard and closing his eyes. “Keh, better be some pretty good food, woman.”
Kagome beamed at him, amazed at how much he was giving to her especially considering how demanding she was being. He growled, “I thought you were going to sleep.”
She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she curled up on the other side of the bed, awash in the unexplained security of having him nearby.
When she woke in the morning he was gone but she found she didn’t mind at all, not with the prospect of seeing him late that night or the following morning. Humming to herself she rambled around her apartment, cleaning, showering, getting dressed, making sure all her library books were well hidden, then finally grabbing her keys and heading out the door. She had grocery shopping to do.
~ ~ ~
A/N: If you want to follow my run around you can catch me on livejournal since I actually write and don’t just skulk now. I’m under FlameTwirler (surprising, I know) or you can follow the link in my profile.
Notes:
*I meant to address this issue last chapter but forgot: No offense to Buddhism – this is not a representation of Buddhism as it currently exists. This is an alternate reality that had to adapt itself to a hugely different set of circumstances.
*This story is snowballing out of control. It was supposed to be about 8 chapters, it’s probably now going to be around 15 because, gasp, there’s actual plot now! And it’s going to get more complicated as we go on, of course… What good story doesn’t like complications?
*Just because I know someone will ask: no Kikyou hating here, so don’t expect me to turn her into a bitter, remorseless villain – and she’s a minor role
*Thanks again to my betas who whip me into shape and let me know I might actually be missed if I fell off the face of the planet…despite how round it is…shut up.
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Original posting: March 29, 2007
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Chapter 8: Supplication
----- To make an earnest petition, a humble entreaty to; beseech
----- A humble request for help from someone in authority
----- The act of communicating with a deity
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Kagome paused in front of Inuyasha’s door, mentally pumping herself up to re-engage with someone she was supposed to have cut contact with eight days prior. She knew she could get in trouble or she could be getting him into trouble but at the moment she just couldn’t bring herself to care. She absolutely had to talk to someone or she might go insane and he was the only one she could broach the subject with.
Breathing in deeply and steeling herself, she raised her hand to the buzzer, freezing when the door was suddenly yanked open in front of her before she'd even had the chance to press the button. She blinked, stepping back to allow the woman standing in the doorway to pass out into the hall. She received a small, curt nod in thanks before the woman disappeared around a corner, Kagome’s eyes following her the whole time.
She’d expected any of Inuyasha’s other clients to look evil but this one certainly didn’t. In fact, she was wearing miko garb, the same nettle as that from the adjoining healing shrine if she wasn’t mistaken. Also her face had been drawn in some kind of overwhelming sorrow she didn’t understand but her features still showed a calm sort of beauty that made Kagome think she wouldn’t bloody up a hanyou, her hanyou she thought with a sudden pang of jealousy, for no reason.
A cough sounded behind her and she whirled to see Inuyasha in the doorway staring at her like he was seeing a ghost. He looked slightly unsure of himself and more than a little confused, as if he didn’t know what to do with the situation. Kagome herself was unprepared for the sensations that battered inside her at the sight of him again, bringing to the forefront of her thoughts all the multitude of times he’d flashed through her mind the past few days, though her treacherous mind insisted on commenting on how much better he looked in person.
She felt a blush rising on her face at the memories and was instantly assailed by nausea as she recalled just what she’d been doing at the time some of those thoughts had popped into her head. She crossed her arms in front of her body in an attempt to keep the filth in, to hide it from Inuyasha’s burning eyes.
He was still staring at her, unmoving, and she knew she had to make the first move. She opened her mouth but something entirely different rushed out of her mouth when she noticed there was no blood anywhere to be seen, that he was completely unharmed by the woman who’d just left.
She flew to him, hands stopping just short of reaching his chest, not sure if her touch was welcome or what kind of reaction it would incite. His eyes were boring into her and she crossed her arms back in front of her, desiring nothing more than to open herself to him but desperate to keep the dark corners of her mind hidden. Still, she knew she couldn’t have one without the other and she squared her shoulders for what she had to say.
“Spit it out Kagome, I don’t have much time.”
Her heart sunk a little bit at his words. “Another appointment?”
He nodded. “Yeah, Kikyou should be back any minute.”
She looked at him appraisingly. “I thought you said I was the only client who hadn’t maimed you?”
“Kagome…” he growled warningly.
“All right, all right,” she huffed. “I just…really need to talk to you. About a lot of things.”
He was concerned at the range of emotions that flickered across her face, all of which were negative. She seemed different than when he’d last seen her; she was drained, like a portion of her energy and magnetism had been leeched right out of her. Still, if she was seen talking with him in front of his room in the middle of the night…
“I don’t have time for this right now.” He had to stop himself from growling as she winced. He knew he was being an ass but with his station in the Shrine it might come down to her sentiments or his neck, and as much as he liked her he still liked himself better.
For her part Kagome was fighting to keep herself from panicking. She was a smart girl, she knew what he was doing. He’d done some of the kindest things for her anyone ever had and the way he was acting now didn’t match up. He had to be protecting himself, against what she didn’t know but could only guess had to do with her presence threatening the security of his position in the Shrine.
Oh no, was she putting him in danger just by talking to him?
Even still knowing this, she couldn’t assuage the niggling doubt that the reason he was really being gruff with her was because he saw it, he knew how she had changed into this hideous mass of guilt, could smell the stench of her and wanted nothing to do with it. Not that she’d be able to blame him.
Normally she’d let it go at that – she didn’t want to be a bother and she certainly didn’t want to place him in danger, but this was something she had to get off her chest or she’d go crazy trying to figure out on her own how to still function normally. He could decide for himself after that.
“I know you don’t have time right now, what with you having another appointment and all,” she said, the second part spoken more snidely than she’d intended as she could tell by the surprise on Inuyasha’s face. She took a second to collect herself.
“I need to speak with you though. I’d like to as soon as possible but I know that you’re the one who’s working here. I’ll meet you whenever and wherever you like but I just really need your help. Please?”
Kagome looked up at him with pleading eyes and he knew he couldn’t deny her anything, not after all she’d done for him.
Inuyasha raked a hand through his hair, mussing it even more than his earlier exertions already had. “Keh, fine woman, I’ll meet you.”
He leaned back to where he could see behind the door, glancing at the clock. “I should be able to get out of here in a couple hours. Do you want to meet then, or – ” He cut off when he saw her nodding her head vigorously. He was going to suggest they meet later in the day but he could see she was anxious to get on with it. It wasn’t like he really needed the extra sleep that much anyhow, especially not after an easy night like this one.
“Okay, 6 a.m. it is then. Where? Obviously it can’t be anywhere too public.” He crossed his arms and leaned against the doorpost in a show of being at ease but she could see him glancing down the hall surreptitiously.
“Could you meet me at my apartment? I know you don’t typically leave the Shrine but it’s close and we wouldn’t have to worry about anyone seeing us together there.”
Kagome missed the almost imperceptible flinch as Inuyasha misinterpreted her words, thinking she’d rather not be seen with his pathetic hanyou ass. He wasn’t sure why it affected him so much, after all he’d gotten the same treatment his whole life, but he suddenly turned angry and determined to prove he could take any challenge she threw his way, his security outside the Shrine grounds be damned!
“Fine,” he bit off, “where’s the place at?”
She rattled off the directions, a mixture of trepidations and relief flooding her system.
He waved her off gruffly, looking anxiously down the hall where they could hear footsteps. “Now get out of here. I’ll see you at 6.”
Bowing in thanks, Kagome turned and hasted away back down the corridor.
~ ~ ~
Inuyasha landed in front of apartment 305 with a bang, throwing open the door before Kagome had any chance of answering. It was a good thing it had been unlocked or Inuyasha, in his haste to get out of the vulnerable outdoors, very well might have broken through it.
Kagome spun at the loud sound and intrusion, barely managing to keep her balance amidst the tangle of blankets she had wrapped around her shoulders like a cloak. She stared wide-eyed at him, surprised at his sudden appearance and unsure of herself. She’d been sitting huddled in the middle of her bed, pondering in her mind what she would say to Inuyasha, how she could put her thoughts into form, but nothing seemed right and words failed her. Her time had been all for waste as she still had no idea what to say to the hanyou about why she’d called him here, despite the heaviness in her heart and body.
Choosing action when words failed, she strode over the door, locking it soundly behind the slightly winded hanyou.
Did he run all the way here? She wondered. Looking closely at him, the tousled hair, the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the scowl on his reddened face, she figured he must have and felt poorly for asking him to risk his own safety just for her sanity of mind. She truly was a selfish person, all the more so for having gone through with her request despite knowing what it might cost him.
Double checking the blinds to see they were tightly shut she went back to the bed to sit huddled in the mass of blankets and sheets. She stewed in the semi-darkness of the room, the kitchen light the only illumination. Inuyasha did not like where this was going, not one bit if he had to judge by her mannerisms and mood.
Considering he had neither the experience nor the patience to deal with something like this he figured it best to get things moving quickly.
“So am I supposed to wrap myself in blankets and huddle in some corner too or was there some other reason you asked me here?” Mentally he winced. Not the smoothest intro ever, but what else was he supposed to say to a girl feigning hypothermia?
She sidled over on the bed a little bit, but whether in invitation for him to sit or in effort to get further away he wasn’t sure, so for the time being he held his ground.
“Am I dirty?” she asked suddenly. Inuyasha was so thrown by the question that he started tentatively sniffing at the air, wondering if her multiple layers were a futile attempt to keep in any proof of a lack of proper bathing habits.
“I mean,” she continued, thankfully oblivious to his misinterpretation, “what I’m doing is normal right? Decent, admirable even. I’ve come to a prestigious shrine to worship the kami and bring blessings to my family, to our small little shrine we call a home. I should feel honored for such a position where I’m able to do so much for those closest to me…”
“I…I mean,” she began again, clearly still lost and confused in her thinking, “my grandfather was supposed to be retired by now and living easy, his son supporting him in his old age, but dad was killed too early…too early. Jii-chan’s done so much for my mom, for all of us, despite how weird he can be sometimes.”
She raised her eyes from her cocoon to look directly at him, her gaze piercing, and he was surprised to see a faint sheen swimming on the surface. “What I’m doing is just what any good daughter and granddaughter would do. That’s right, isn’t it?”
When she paused he realized she truly meant for him to answer this time and he slowly nodded his head, perplexed by the difference in her words and demeanor and wondering where she was leading with this.
She lowered her head back down, afraid to look at him, and pulled the blankets away from her legs so that she could hide her face between her upraised knees. “Then why do I feel so dirty?” she whispered.
Inuyasha sat down on the bed, shocked.
He started to say something but she cut him off with a shake of her head.
“I feel their fingers scrambling at me, the coldness behind the touch, and I wonder if I’m any different. After all I did the same thing,” she admitted.
Crossing his arms he scoffed at the sentiment. “Keh, I don’t know what you’re going on about wench. That’s what everyone does, on both sides. It can’t really be helped, it’s just the nature of the beast. It’s what you came here for, isn’t it? Just because you can now see the ugly side and know it’s not all pretty ain’t no reason to get your knickers in a twist.”
She didn’t move. If anything she sunk deeper inside herself. “But you don’t know what I did,” she whispered.
He glared at her, wondering what on earth she could have herself convinced was so bad. “What did you do?”
“I thought about one man while with another. I’m no better than a whore.”
An irrational surge of anger exploded through him and he fought hard to keep himself in one place. “Was it me?” he finally ground out and Kagome would have to have been deaf to not hear the agitation in his voice.
She kept quiet, unsure of which way he meant the question and unwilling to give anything away. There was nothing that could convince her to ever tell him that yes, it was him, that she’d thought of him while with Kouga and one of the other Tetsudai she’d visited after him, and hadn’t been able to assuage the guilt ever since.
Inuyasha took her silence in the worst possible way, jumping to all sorts of conclusions, and pushed his palms flat on either side of his head to fight against the invading images of who else she had thought about while with him. Was that why she’d been kind? Was that why she’d been able to treat him with some semblance of normalcy?
“Was it me?” he demanded again, yelling this time and shocking Kagome enough that she raised her head from its hiding place, though she still stared straight ahead and away from him.
Taking a deep breath she knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of this and decided to go for the safer of the two directions in such a loaded question. “No, Inuyasha, I didn’t think of someone else with you.” How could I, she added quietly to herself, I didn’t know anything else, didn’t have any basis for comparison. She knew she couldn’t say that out loud though; it would give her away.
He looked quickly away to hide the sense of relief he felt flooding through him at her answer. He was tempted to turn on her and find out exactly who she had been with and who she’d been thinking of, but he knew that if he thought the conversation was uncomfortable there was no way he’d be able to handle her if he ended up pushing her to tears. She looked close enough to it already.
Kagome was thinking along the same lines and prayed fervently he’d let the subject drop.
“I’ve been showering four times a day. I just can’t seem to get clean enough. What do I do to fix it? Can it even be fixed? I didn’t know who else to ask.”
Inuyasha watched her shoulders droop again as she curled back on herself. This girl was just too dense for her own good. He crawled over slowly, so as not to startle her, and grabbed her chin in his right hand, forcing her face to turn toward him.
Quietly he asked her, “Did I make you feel dirty?”
Even then she still kept her eyes averted but he was not to be outdone. He may be a filthy half-breed, he may have contributed to this problem, but she had come to him; that had to mean something and he wasn’t about to let her get out of it now. Keeping his grip tight on her he crouched in front of her until there were only a few inches between their faces and she didn’t have anywhere to look but at him.
“Don’t make me repeat myself Kagome,” his breath hot on her face, his voice gravelly. “Did I make you feel dirty?”
From somewhere deep inside her anger bubbled up at the way he was dominating the situation. This was her problem, her conversation, she was the one who asked him here. Where did he get off trying to get her to say things she didn’t want to?
“What am I supposed to say, Inuyasha? How can you expect me to answer honestly when you’re two inches from my face?” He blinked. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen.
“What if I said yes, huh? How could I say it with you staring at me like that?” She pushed at his chest and he gave, rolling off the bed until he stood looking down at her, glaring in mixed anger and confusion.
How the hell had this managed to turn into her getting mad at him? “Well I wouldn’t have to do that if you’d look at me. What else do you expect me to do?”
The two seethed in silence, Inuyasha scared of unwittingly setting her off again, Kagome afraid of what she had to say.
“No,” she finally said quietly, his ears twitching toward her in agitation.
“No, what?!” he snapped.
Kagome turned her nose up and looked away. Was he really clueless or was this just a game to drag the words out of her mouth. Fine, have it his way.
When they came out the words seem bitten from her mouth. “You didn’t make me feel dirty, all right?”
“Then it’s not your problem.”
She whirled on him, eyes wide. How on earth had he reached that conclusion? Luckily he presupposed her question and quickly explained.
“If you didn’t feel that way with each and every guy then it must be their fault. They – we,” he gulped, “were the only thing that changed in each situation, not you.” He saw the fight leaving her and moved back over to her side, touching one clawed finger gently to her shoulder. “You just got stuck with a lot of bastards, Kagome.”
She was about to contradict him and mention that Kouga had been nice but decided against it as she wanted to avoid having to explain why she’d been so uncomfortable with him if he’d been kind. As understanding as Inuyasha was being it was still best to avoid that topic altogether.
“So no,” he continued in that same gentle tone she’d never heard from him before, “I don’t think that makes you a whore.”
She sniffled, resenting his touch and how it was breaking down her defensive anger. “Even though I betrayed one of the guys I was with?” Despite the fact that she’d also thought of the silver haired hanyou in front of her while with one of the other Tetsudai and had felt dirtier as a result, she didn’t feel treacherous for it because she’d had no real connection with him like she had with Kouga.
Inuyasha was quiet a moment and Kagome feared the worst but he continued stroking the back of that single finger down her shoulder to her elbow and back again and she had to resist the sudden desire to pull the blankets back up around her as a shield.
“Did you think of the other man because the one you were with was boring or because you needed to take your mind away?” His question caught her off guard; she’d never thought of it in that light before and wondered again about the kind of life he was forced to live that gave him such insight into a situation like this.
It was a simple answer for her. “I…I couldn’t handle the situation I was in.” She felt his grip tighten and the bare beginnings of a growl and instantly realized what she’d said. “No, no, I didn’t mean it like that. The guy I was with was nice enough I just … like you said, I needed to take my mind away.”
“There you go then. A lot of people do it at need, hell I’ve even done it myself recently.” He immediately clenched his teeth together and looked away, appalled at what he’d just unwittingly revealed.
Kagome turned slowly, Inuyasha’s hand dropping from her as she did so. He made to move away but she grabbed his sleeve and held him still, more from his reluctance to pull her rudely from the bed than from any real strength she had. “Inuyasha, are you…blushing?”
“Keh, stupid woman,” he turned around to yell in her face, “what would make you think that?” As she watched, his face turned an even brighter hue of red and she couldn’t suppress the giggle that made its way from her mouth.
“What’s so funny?!” he all but bellowed.
Her mirth overflowed until she was holding her other arm against her front to restrain her belly laughs. “You are blushing,” she said, moving her hand from her stomach to prod his burning cheek for emphasis.
“Am not,” he replied, pouting like a little boy and moving away from her. Kagome was too busy being thrilled about the fact that he could still act like a kid to care that he had chosen one of childhood’s more annoying mannerisms to mimic. Of course, she had her own immature tendencies as well and couldn’t let an opening like this pass her by. She stood up on the bed, intent to chase him around the room until he showed her his blazing red face again.
For his part, Inuyasha was by no means stupid, and knowing immediately what she was going to do, backed away from the bed. She lunged for him but neglected to take into account the blankets still wrapped around the lower half of her body, realizing too late that she was going to crash quite spectacularly onto the floor.
Inuyasha leaped from where he was crouching behind her desk chair half-way across the room, catching her and twisting backwards until he landed the both of them on the bed.
He froze.
There was nothing particularly provocative about the position they were in; he was on his back with Kagome kneeling to one side, leaning over him. Their bodies weren’t touching anywhere except where he had his hands on her waist and one of hers on his shoulder. Their faces had certainly been much closer earlier in the night, yet neither could deny the sudden intimacy of the moment.
She wanted nothing more than to allow herself to fall to him, to bury her head in his shoulder and never look up again. Their breathing grew shallower and the space between them closed by a scant inch before Kagome seemed to wake up. With a wrench she tore herself away, breaking the moment, and scooted away to the head of the bed, allowing her back to lean against the wall as she clutched a pillow to her. Now that the momentary lightness was gone she felt reality crashing back in on her.
She couldn’t ask him, not yet; she still needed more time. So instead she delayed.
“Who was that woman with you tonight?” She tried to sound as casual and uninterested as possible.
Inuyasha was still fighting the delicious sensations her touch evoked, no matter how short the moment had been, and was still catching up with the fact that she’d moved away from him when she spoke. He was caught off guard by the sudden change in subject, and the shift caused his hackles to rise slightly. He wasn’t sure why but something was warning him to tread carefully here. “Kikyou?”
She nodded.
“She’s one of the high miko at the healing shrine attached to ours.”
Kagome looked at him expectantly and he knew she wouldn’t let him get away with so little information. “I assume by your lack of proper clothing that you’d already had one session before I arrived to speak with you tonight.” Obviously he’d been right. “I believe you once told me I was the only one who hadn’t bloodied you up, but you seem perfectly all right to me.” Her voice pitched higher and Inuyasha wasn’t able to make out what that meant. Little did he know she was warring within herself, blasting herself for the tiny amount of jealousy she was feeling and working to convince herself that this was actually the best news she could hope for.
With a weary sigh he continued. “We’ve had an…agreement for a while. The first time we met was after one of my worst sessions and the establishment wasn’t sure I was going to make it. By now they know I’ll heal just fine, or they just don’t give a shit anymore, but since that was one of the first times I needed such severe care they called her over from the healing section to insure their assets,” he spit with disgust.
“After that she’d come over every now and again. We use each other to offer a tiny bit of solace. It’s nothing too special, but it’s a nice respite from the rest. Kikyou needs it too, I think, though I’m still not entirely sure why. She’s a very sad person, never wanted to be a miko, but was born into it and now honor bound to follow a path she doesn’t desire. She probably only uses me because I don’t remind her of what she’s lost, the whole family package with the husband and 2.5 kids and white picket fence. Any of the human Tetsudai would make her think about it too much. Either she feels as shitty as I do or she likes being around someone she knows has it worse than she does. Hell, I don’t really care what she uses me for as long as it gets me away from my nut-jobs for a night or two.”
“Oh, Inuyasha…” she breathed, wishing for the millionth time that she wasn’t such an impotent force against the fate that caused him such a horrid, cheerless life.
“It’s not like I can really complain,” he began defensively, eying her with something akin to horror at the growing brightness of her eyes, “not when I use her too.”
Kagome cracked a smile, realizing he was uncomfortable. Besides, he was just too cute when cowering like a disgusted ten-year old. “That’s too bad. And here I thought I’d single-handedly started a new movement to get you a clientele of decent women. So disappointing.” She shook her head slowly in mock dismay.
Caught up as she was by his words she was more distracted by her own reaction to them. At first she’d been appalled to find herself jealous of the other ‘nice’ woman and was relieved when the feelings began to dissipate with his story, but she wasn’t prepared for the compounded sense of disappointment that flooded her. As selfish as she was feeling at the moment she knew that she truly did wish that as long as he had to have clients that they were of the less violent variety than his current cache. While she may be pouting on the inside, curled up next to her inner-child, she knew it would be better for him and was sad to see that she hadn’t actually started a ‘hanyou-are-hot-and-not-for-beating’ club.
Inuyasha watched as she fidgeted with the pillow in her lap, getting anxious himself. He’d been away from the Shrine for too long. He was paranoid by nature but this time he wasn’t afraid for himself, he was afraid of what would happen to Kagome if he were found with her, if she’d be considered an accomplice or hanyou-lover. While she might not get any overt punishment she'd be labeled for life and be at the least a social pariah.
“There’s something else, isn’t there.” Kagome winced. She wasn’t looking forward to asking this of him and she knew it was an incredibly selfish request but she knew she had to try. She’d put off asking him for long enough but she couldn’t do that forever, unfortunately, her mind griped.
“Inuyasha, I need to ask a huge favor of you.” He immediately stiffened and while she noticed there was nothing she could do about it at the moment. “I don’t want to ask you but I can’t think of anything else to do.”
He grumbled to himself, wondering how he was going to get used this time.
“I don’t want to go back to finish off my month here in a way that makes me feel so…so unworthy. I can’t stand it and I already want to scrub myself clean again.” Noticing her slightly damp hair from when she must have had another shower just recently, he took that as a bad sign. “But at the same time I have my obligation to my family and the honor of our shrine. I’ve been sent here for twenty-eight days and I will worship the kami each night, otherwise how could I show my face back home when I didn’t fulfill my duty just because I didn’t like the feel of it?
“I’m not quite that selfish, but pretty close to it.” No, she wasn’t selfish enough to risk the kami's anger on her family, just enough to ask something that was potentially troublesome, perhaps even dangerous, of someone she barely knew but had shown her great kindness.
She took a deep breath and looked him straight in the eye. “I want to know if you’ll be my Tetsudai the remaining nights.”
He immediately started waving his hands and opened his mouth to refuse but she cut him off.
“I know we can’t at the Shrine and if you think it’s too dangerous even here in my apartment then I won’t ask you to risk yourself like that. But as you said, you’re the only one that didn’t make me feel dirty. I don’t know how feeling like a whore can even be said to worship any of the spirits; I’m sure they don’t revel in such a feeling and would be much happier if their followers didn’t feel disgusted any time they finished such a practice that is meant to be in praise of and supplication to those beings that grant blessings.” She paused a moment to catch her breath after her increasingly rushed rant.
“You could come here each day and I’d pay you the same what I’d be paying to the Shrine – plus this way you would actually see some of the money instead of it all feeding the pockets of someone else.” He was momentarily surprised that she’d caught on to the fact that he didn’t get normal pay like all the other Tetsudai, but then again by looking around his sparse room and bare necessities it didn’t take a genius to figure out.
Kagome was getting worried. He’d been silent for far too long, his face giving away nothing. “I would really appreciate if you would do this for me but I don’t want to get you in trouble. I’m not sure what all your circumstances are and what you are and are not allowed to do,” she looked disgusted, “and I certainly do not want to be the one responsible for putting you in danger in any way. Please know I would never intentionally do that.”
Inuyasha sat still in contemplation, the moment dragging out and frazzling Kagome’s nerves. “You were already with someone tonight, right?” He spoke slowly, forming the words carefully on his tongue.
“Yes, I was,” she replied and he noted the way she pulled the blankets back up around her, hugging herself tightly.
“That means you have four days left.” It wasn’t even a question, just a statement, pure and simple, and Kagome didn’t even think to wonder why he remembered exactly when she would be leaving.
“Fine,” he said, standing up, “I’ll come.”
She jumped up, ecstatic. She hadn’t really had much hope he’d agree, no matter how much she wished it, and she was momentarily stunned, at least until she saw him heading for the door. “Wait!” she yelled. “Where are you going?”
He turned and looked at her like she was stupid. “We made our agreement so now I’m going to go.”
She knelt at her spot on the bed, staring at him beseechingly. “Please don’t go yet. I just…I…” After explaining so many things that evening she’d lost her words. Anyhow, how could she describe what she was feeling at the moment when she wasn’t even sure herself? She just knew she didn’t want him to go. “Please, I don’t want to be alone yet. Just stay until I fall asleep? It’ll only be another few minutes or so, so it won’t make much difference, right?”
He glared at her skeptically.
“I promise I’ll make you dinner every night,” she declared, her voice rising in hope even though she doubted the pathetic attempt at bribery would work.
Heaving a long suffering sigh he marched over to her and sat on the very edge of the bed, relaxing his head back against the headboard and closing his eyes. “Keh, better be some pretty good food, woman.”
Kagome beamed at him, amazed at how much he was giving to her especially considering how demanding she was being. He growled, “I thought you were going to sleep.”
She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face as she curled up on the other side of the bed, awash in the unexplained security of having him nearby.
When she woke in the morning he was gone but she found she didn’t mind at all, not with the prospect of seeing him late that night or the following morning. Humming to herself she rambled around her apartment, cleaning, showering, getting dressed, making sure all her library books were well hidden, then finally grabbing her keys and heading out the door. She had grocery shopping to do.
~ ~ ~
A/N: If you want to follow my run around you can catch me on livejournal since I actually write and don’t just skulk now. I’m under FlameTwirler (surprising, I know) or you can follow the link in my profile.
Notes:
*I meant to address this issue last chapter but forgot: No offense to Buddhism – this is not a representation of Buddhism as it currently exists. This is an alternate reality that had to adapt itself to a hugely different set of circumstances.
*This story is snowballing out of control. It was supposed to be about 8 chapters, it’s probably now going to be around 15 because, gasp, there’s actual plot now! And it’s going to get more complicated as we go on, of course… What good story doesn’t like complications?
*Just because I know someone will ask: no Kikyou hating here, so don’t expect me to turn her into a bitter, remorseless villain – and she’s a minor role
*Thanks again to my betas who whip me into shape and let me know I might actually be missed if I fell off the face of the planet…despite how round it is…shut up.
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Original posting: March 29, 2007