InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Shrine Prostitute ❯ Affliction ( Chapter 12 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: FlameTwirler 
Inuyasha realizes the cost and danger of vulnerabilities.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.18.2007 | Updated On: 08.25.2013 | Pages: 6 | Words: 10.4K | Visits: 5.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Inuyasha realizes the cost and danger of vulnerabilities.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.18.2007 | Updated On: 08.25.2013 | Pages: 6 | Words: 10.4K | Visits: 5.0K | Status: Work In Progress
Shrine Prostitute by FlameTwirler
~ ~ ~
Chapter 12: Affliction
----- a state of pain, distress, or grief primarily due to adversity; misery
----- a cause of mental or bodily pain, as loss or persecution.
~ ~ ~
The black hair and dark eyes were unmistakable: Inuyasha was human. But how was that possible?
Tentatively Kagome skimmed a finger along the blanket still draped across his shoulders; sensing the heightened tension coursing through his body, she made her movements as calm and smooth as possible, trying to let him know she wasn’t going to force him into anything.
He relaxed fractionally and she moved her hand to his hair, intrigued by the slight change in texture – and slightly amused that it was as tangled as ever, if not more so. Her fingers trailed down and encountered the tip of an ear and he started, staring at her more intently and sliding away. She pulledback, willing to give him the space if he needed it, and turning her hand over she looked at it as if she could see the residual imprint from the new appendage. She’d been just as surprised as he at the contact since she was used to feeling flat skin on the sides of his face.
“How long are you going to remain human?” Her voice sounded unnaturally loud in the deep silence of the room.
He shook his head, unwilling to give out anymore information about what made him most vulnerable, and she took his hand, ignoring his half-hearted tugs. “Look, I need to know what to tell my family to keep them away and to prevent them from asking after you. I do assume you wouldn’t like them to know?” She raised an eyebrow and he merely looked away, grunting, and she couldn’t help but smile at that. It was the most Inuyasha-like behavior she’d seen out of him all night.
Standing, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, something he would never allow under normal circumstances. Despite everything else he still didn’t like her to touch the sensitive ears on top of his head but as of now he had no excuse. She couldn’t grin at her victory though when she felt how stiffly he still held himself.
“I’m going to go get some food from the house and then I’ll be right back, ok?”
He immediately bolted upright. “No, don’t leave.”
She knew better from the look on his face than to think it was because he so desperately wanted her presence. Instead he was virtually brimming with paranoia about what she would do once outside that little room with information so vital to him. Apparently though he could likewise tell from her face that she would do as she wished and as her Tetsudai he technically had to go along with her wishes, though that wouldn’t have prevented him from fighting with her tooth-and-nail if he thought it would make a difference.
“I’m getting us food; we both need it. Besides, if I don’t go back over then Mama or Souta will come over here to check on us and I doubt that’s something you want.”
He grudgingly had to concede her point though that didn’t mean he liked it, especially now that he wouldn’t have any chance of hearing anything going on over there in the main building.
“I’ll only be a bit and you can watch from the window if you’re so worried about it.”
Her family had put a crude window in the wall when converting it into a living space and, while it wasn’t pretty, it kept the room from getting so stifling hot during the day. At the moment, though, Inuyasha looked at it like it was a venomous snake.
“All right, all right, I get it. Bundle up on the bed if that’s what you want and I’ll be right back.”
“What will you tell them?” he suddenly asked. The thought of further humiliation at the hands of whatever excuse she made didn’t improve his mood at all.
She pursed her lips a moment then decided to stall and gather her thoughts by putting the doorknob back in place. “Not sure. Maybe something about something you’re setting up in here…or I can just smile mysteriously,” she grinned at the thought of herself being able to pull off that feat, “and let them think what they will. After all, with what we do in here at night I doubt they’ll want much information.”
At her wink Inuyasha felt himself relax marginally. She wasn’t acting any differently around him at all but he wouldn’t allow himself to hope for anything because disappointment and failure were always riding close on its heels.
“Until morning, then. I’ll remain human until morning.”
~ ~ ~
Kagome closed the door behind her and immediately went grim. How on earth had this happened? Why did Inuyasha turn human? This must have happened before since he knew how long it would last, so what did he do at the Shrine when he changed? She couldn’t imagine him letting those sadistic women find out about it but what could he do?
She’d reached the door to her house before she balked. What was she supposed to tell her family?
She had to go with the first thing that popped into her head because at that moment Souta burst through the door, obviously on his way to go summon them for dinner. Pasting on her most brilliant smile she breezed her way into the kitchen and started piling food onto two plates.
“Ne, onee-chan, where’s Inuyasha?”
Figuring the less she said about it the better she merely raised the second plate in demonstration.
“Is he sick?”
Despite her quick negative he was still half-way to the door before she caught him. When he looked back at her it was plain to see that he was merely looking for any excuse to visit the hanyou – he must have missed him. Perhaps they had been a little overzealous in their avoidance of her little brother the last couple days. She’d make a note of it to have Inuyasha spend some time with him tomorrow or the day after. But for now she had to choose her words carefully to keep her family from becoming suspicious.
“He’s setting up a surprise for me - ”
“Oh cool!” Souta exclaimed, tugging on the arm still clasped in her hand. “Can I see?”
“No!” Taking a quick breath to calm herself she lowered her voice to prevent the panic from leaking out. “No, this is specifically for me and not the kind of thing you want to see…”
She trailed off meaningfully and smirked a bit hoping he would take the bait. “What do you – oh – oh!” He stared at her, vaguely horrified, and she was incredibly thankful he was still at an age where sex was gross and taboo and not something he would ask details about – at least, not from his sister.
Kagome had no sooner let go of his arm when her mother walked into the kitchen, her grandfather trailing behind, dusty from whatever work he’d just been doing before her mother fetched him. “What are you two shouting about in here?” she asked, then looking around she continued, “And where’s Inuyasha?”
She barely contained the groan that threatened to escape. Everyone, including she herself, knew she was a horrible liar and her mother would be harder to get past than her naïve little brother. Luckily, said brother spoke up in her place.
“He’s setting up something special for her,” giving the sentence a note of derision only possible by a pre-pubescent boy.
Her mother’s gaze shifted to her and she made a curious sound. “Oh really?” Crossing her arms she smiled at her daughter who was furiously hoping she wasn’t as shaky as she felt.
“Don’t bother pumping me for details. First of all it’s a surprise and I don’t know, and second I already told you that I’m not telling you about anything that happens inside that room.”
“Fine then, let me help you.” From the growing smile on her mother’s face Kagome really didn’t want to guess at the scenarios running through her mind. She simply counted herself lucky to be getting out of there so quickly and with little fuss. Holding the two plates of food she protested there was enough already to feed a small army but Mrs. Higurashi continued to pile more on, insisting they would need all the strength they could get for the coming night. Again, Kagome wished to be kept unaware of her mom’s mind.
Grabbing the plates before they’d be too heavy to lift she headed for the door, the older woman opening it for her then placing a light kiss on the top of her head. “Now have fun.”
Rolling her eyes she made her way across the courtyard as quickly as possible then realized her problem as the door to her room loomed in front of her, shut tight.
“Inuyasha,” she hissed, then realizing that he might not be able to hear as well in his human state she spoke again, louder this time. “Inuyasha, open the door. I can’t do it with all this food in my hands.”
She got no response and resigned herself to the fact that she probably wasn’t going to so she placed one plate on the ground – that one was going to be his for not letting her in – then wheedled the door open, putting her weight into it as it sometimes had a nasty tendency to stick.
Finally getting all the food inside with her, the door locked tight behind her, she shoved a plate in Inuyasha’s face. When he ignored it she nearly growled. “I did not juggle this all the way out here so you could pretend you’re not hungry. You’re always hungry, so if you don’t eat on your own then I’m going to force feed you just like you did me.”
He glared at her but took the food, shoveling it in so that more ended up on his clothes and the bed than in his mouth. Sighing in exasperation she tucked into her own meal which they completed in silence.
Dead air – especially uncomfortable dead air – was not something that Kagome dealt with well. When he still didn’t say a word to her she was determined to draw him out, even if it meant getting his anger first.
“I assume this has happened before?”
He nodded.
“How often?”
He ignored her.
“Why does this happen?”
“You sure are a nosy wench, aren’t you?” he snapped at her.
“Yes, I am. You’re just now figuring this out?” She was sure her sarcasm wasn’t helping the situation but she couldn’t help it.
He turned away from her but she was fed up. Moving from the chair she’d eaten in, she climbed onto the bed, all but on top of him, forcing him to acknowledge her. “Inuyasha, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here with you all night, whether you like it or not, and I don’t know what you’re so worried about. You’re human for a night, so what? I’m human all the time and I’m not cowering away.”
“I’m not cowering,” he shot back.
“Sure looks like it to me.” She raised an eyebrow at him but suddenly decided this wasn’t where she wanted to go with things. He was obviously uncomfortable and her confrontation wasn’t helping. She knew he didn’t trust her fully, that perhaps he’d never be able to, so trying to drag information out of him would only complicate things. She didn’t have to know to let him know she cared.
Carefully she lowered herself down to the mattress behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and missed the look of surprise on his face. “I shouldn’t try to force you to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and I promise to keep this secret if you want me to.”
His soft “Keh” carried through the room, scoffing at her thought that he needed comfort, but she felt him relax in her arms and was glad for it. They lay like that for a little while, just luxuriating in the soft warmth of each other, when there was a knock at the door.
“Go away,” Kagome called, irritated that her family would come over despite her insinuations. Maybe Souta missed the two of them more than she thought?
“C'mon, open up,” the voice called, “I haven’t got all night.” Kagome shot upright in the bed. That almost sounded like...but it couldn't be.Kazuma? What on earth was he doing there?
“Hold on a minute,” she yelled, slight panic edging her mind. She threw the blanket back over Inuyasha and told him to stay out of sight. “I’ll find out what he wants and send him on his way. Make sure you stay here, no matter what.”
Tidying herself up she had second thoughts and ran her hands wild through her hair, then taking a deep breath she opened the door to face him, shutting herself alone with him in the courtyard as she made sure the knob was firmly fixed in place again.
"K-Kazuma?" Her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her; it really was him. But why in the world...?
Kagome stared at the Shrine worker, confusion and panic causing her heart to beat uncontrollably and her mind to race.
"W-what are you doing here?" she stammered.
"Hi Kagome. How are you doing? It's nice to see you too." He grinned, letting her know he wasn't seriously reprimanding her - at least not entirely - but she still blushed.
"Sorry," she pushed out. Still, worry over Inuyasha's predicament prevented her from utilizing further manners. "But why are you at my house? How do you even know where I live?"
"I'm here to check up on you, Kagome," he said, grinning widely. "You didn't think we lent out our precious tetsudai without making sure you weren't breaking the merchandise while you had 'em, now did you?"
At her stunned look he chortled. "I need to make sure the bastard is still alive and relatively in one piece. And if he is, I need to make sure he is behaving properly and doing everything he can to please his client."
He waggled his eyebrows in a crudely suggestive manner, and at Kagome's face of disgust he merely shrugged. Oh, why did this have to be happening tonight of all nights?
Managing an overly-dramatic, put upon sigh, she moved to her left, tapping on the window. "Inuyasha?" she called. Sure, he didn't have his superior hearing at the moment, but she was sure his paranoia would have him carefully following everything happening outside as closely as his muted senses would let him.
Still, she was relieved when he answered her through the window with a rough, "Yeah." She'd half-expected him to stay silent, trying to hide his presence from Kazuma, but apparently he had enough faith in her to let her deal with the situation. Either that or he was busy trying to carve himself an escape hole in one of the walls.
The glass muffled his voice and the curtains hid him from view, but his gruff tone carried well. There was no way Kazuma would be able to mistake him for anyone else. Raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'See?' she rolled her eyes when he just shrugged again.
Turning back to the window, she called, "Are you sure that's you in there and not some imposter?"
His snort was all the answer needed, but he still replied, "Of course woman."
Kazuma leveled a look at her. "You let him talk to you like that?"
She waved the question away without even bothering to turn back to him. "Are you behaving yourself?" she continued pestering the window. "Do you have any complaint you'd like to lodge with Kazuma here?"
"Everything's all right, all right!"
Kagome spun to Kazuma, a too perky smile on her lips. "There, you see? We're all good here. Thanks for coming to check though.
He clicked his tongue at her. "Rules are rules, Kagome. As lamentable as it is, I need to actually see the mutt."
"No!" she cried before catching herself. She cleared her throat. "I mean, no," she repeated in a more normal voice. "There's no way I'm letting you - or anyone - in there to see such a private part of my life. Besides, since we brought home an honored tetsudai, the room has been purified to further please the kami and aid in our worship reaching their ears. If you go in we'll have to re-purify it and that's a waste of time and money."
"Fine then, have Inuyasha come out here."
"I don't think so," she said flatly. With a plaintiff edge to her voice she continued, "I don't want you having any insight into how things are for me behind closed doors." At the glint in his eye, she amended, "Well, any more than you already know, anyhow. I'm a rather private person about that kind of stuff. While I'm sure some of his other clients are, I'm no exhibitionist. Besides, he's a little, erm, tied up at the moment."
She didn't have to fake the blush that stained her cheeks. Just thinking about Inuyasha actually being in that particular situation would've done it, but having to discuss such scenarios, even if they were made up at the moment, embarrassed the heck out of her.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said glibly, not sounding sorry at all, "but rules are rules. I need to see him. Whatever it is that you're hiding could be detrimental to his health!" he added, all insouciant innocence.
"Since when do you care so much about rules? I seem to remember a certain someone leaving out most of them when teaching me about how the Shrine runs."
Really, why was he being so pushy on this? He was probably just being a pervert and wanted to see her supposed set up so he could either tease her about it later or fantasize about it later. Still, he was being just too darned dogged.
He smiled. "Some rules are more appealing, or even amusing, than others."
Kagome grit her teeth. Kazuma sure was being something else today.
"So what would it take for you to look the other way? For a friend?" She tried to ask as sweetly as possible but she was sure some of her annoyance must've leaded into her voice, given the amused expression he was wearing.
"For a friend, huh? Well I suppose just this once I could let it slide for a kiss."
She blinked at him. "A kiss?"
"A kiss," he confirmed.
Score one for the pervert argument.
She really didn't want to, but she could almost feel the nervousness flooding through the window from Inuyasha. In the end she supposed it really wasn't that big of a deal.
"All right, fine."
He grinned lasciviously, stepping forward and pressing his lips against hers almost before she'd finished speaking.
Knowing Kazuma she hadn't expected it to be a small peck, a one-second kiss, but still she was surprised when his hands started roaming. Suddenly they were everywhere, on just the very edge of propriety and where he could probably tell she'd punch him if he took more liberties, but something niggled in the back of her brain, telling her there was something odd going on beyond just the obvious.
His hands slid up and down her arms and sides, but lightly, even if multiple times. When he fiddled with her hair he seemed to be almost meticulously brushing through it with his fingers.
He was sliding but not grabbing, touching without groping. It was almost like his mind was somewhere else and he'd completely forgotten she was there.
Suddenly it clicked and she went cold. He was trying to scent mark her. So that she would smell of him when she went to Inuyasha.
This whole charade wasn't even to try and get at her; while he was still being a pervert his entire aim was getting one in at Inuyasha.
More disgusted than she knew how to deal with she pushed him away, glaring at the lecherous, triumphant grin he leveled at her. Why did he have to try all the time to be such a prick to Inuyasha? Was it because he hated hanyou or did he just have a loathing for this one in particular? As absurd as it was, she hoped it was the latter. It'd be far better for him to dislike Inuyasha as a person than to be a prejudiced jerk who hated him simply because of his race. She was sure Inuyasha would prefer that too, as poor a choice as it was.
She resisted the urge to rub the back of her hand across her lips. She was going to have to talk a scalding hot shower after this anyhow, not to mention brush her teeth. A lot.
"Okay, fine," she said shortly. "You got what you wanted now leave."
Kazuma tapped his chin thoughtfully. "There seems to be something else I'm forgetting. Now what could it be? Ah!" he snapped his fingers. "That's right. Here." He dug in his pocket, producing a crumpled bit of paper.
"What is this?" she asked hesitantly. Anything coming unexpectedly from the Shrine made her nervous. Finally she had the delivery straightened enough to see it was an envelope with Inuyasha's name on it, and she recognized the cramped handwriting.
"Ryu?" Uncertainty laced her voice despite her recognition. Why on earth would Ryu give anything to Kazuma?
"Yeah, it's for the mutt there," he pointed for the door. "I was supposed to send it with the mail last week, but things being as they were..."
"You forgot," she said flatly.
"Maybe just a bit," he admitted unrepentantly. "Anyhow, the old man was adamant that I have it here by yesterday, so I figured I'd do the nice thing and come all the way out of my way to make sure it got delivered."
"A day late."
He sniffed. "Better than not at all."
A moment more of staring at the letter in her hands and the enormity of what he just hadn't told her hit her like a ton of bricks. "Do you mean to tell me that you were here just as a delivery boy and not doing a check up on us?"
His smug expression was all the confirmation she needed.
She ground her teeth. He'd actually gone out of his way to use her, and to get at Inuyasha to boot, and that was too much. Had he never considered her his friend or did his loathing for Inuyasha just trump all of that? Suddenly she just felt tired and defeated, and wanted nothing more than her hot shower.
"Goodbye, Kazuma," she said a firm voice that brooked no refusal, not here on her family's property, not here where he admitted to having no leverage. She realized as she spoke that she meant it in more way than one. There would be no going back from this, and she wondered what it would be like to see each other at the Shrine in the future.
To her relief he put up no fuss, merely giving her a proprietary little bow before taking his way off toward the steps, a whistle on his lips. Kagome just shook her head dumbfoundedly.
Staying outside a few minutes more she gave herself time to cool her head. What was done was done, the important thing was that she’d kept Inuyasha’s secret like she’d promised. Granted, she could use a nice acid gargle, but in the end it was only a kiss. She supposed she could count herself lucky he hadn’t asked for more but figured he knew her well enough to know she would refuse any requests that had detailed more than that.
Straightening out the letter one more time she headed inside and made her way back over to Inuyasha. He was still on the bed, staring at her with a strange expression, but she wasn’t prepared to deal with him yet. Dropping the letter on the mattress she made her way to the bathroom, fixed on getting the taste of Kazuma out of her mouth and the scent of him off her skin. She shut the door before flicking on the light switch, squinting at the brightness after being in the dim courtyard and darkened room, then silently thanked her family again for redoing the plumbing out there. She'd never imagined she'd need it for this particular purpose, but it did come in handy.
Inuyasha switched his attention from the room Kagome had just disappeared into and picked up the letter, noting with increasing irritation that in his current form he actually had to turn on the light in order to read it.
Inuyasha,
I know your night is coming up and you don’t like people to know about it –
Inuyasha scoffed. Understatement of the month goes to Ryu, he thought wryly.
- and I’m sure that despite all your efforts Kagome will find out, but please try to relax a bit for once. She’s a good girl and you know it, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone on this foolish trip with her in the first place. You must trust her somewhat already to let her place that damn rosary on you. Don’t take everything out on her and snap at her. She’s more sensitive than you know and has done a great deal for you already.
Suddenly all he could hear was her talking to Kazuma outside, kissing him damn it, and it took an effort of will to not raise his hands to his ears in an ineffectual attempt to block out the sounds.
All this to say: try to remain calm. You’re likely safer there than you ever were here, despite all the precautions I took for your sake. Enjoy the time you have left and see you back in a week and a half.
Ryu
P.S. And Inuyasha…do try to have a bit of fun while you’re out, all right?
He did not want to envision the kind of face the older man had when penning that last line.
Grudgingly though he was to admit it, maybe the crazy old coot did have a point: every time Kagome was given a way to turn against him, to hurt him, she didn’t. The girl must be crazy, but she didn’t.
Still, he hadn’t survived as long as he had by trusting others – that gave them entirely too much hold.
He couldn’t make a complete exception – a lifetime of survival instincts couldn’t be thrust aside – but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to be a little more lenient with himself around her?
The bathroom door swung open and Inuyasha started, crumpling the paper he still gripped in his hand. What would she say if she knew the thoughts circling through his mind?
She didn’t seem to care either way though as she strode past him without a glance and into the store room next door. He heard the sounds of boxes being shoved around and items being shuffled amid her muffled curses, which made him chuckle despite the circumstances.
She tumbled back into the room, disheveled, hair dripping, eyes blazing, and holding a pair of handcuffs. He immediately sobered. Damn him for getting carried away after reading Ryu’s letter. No matter what, despite the peculiarity of tonight’s circumstances, he was still her Tetsudai, bought and paid for, and had to do whatever she said short of letting himself be killed, no matter how stomach-churning or demeaning. Closing his eyes in frustration, resignation, and disappointed hopes, he fisted the rest of the paper and threw it against the opposing wall, wishing it had made a more satisfactory crunch when it hit.
Kagome stalked to the bed, eyes following the trajectory of the little paper ball, but couldn’t bring her temper down enough to stand asking about it. She’d do that tomorrow, when her mind was functioning properly. Crawling up to the head of the bed, completely ignoring Inuyasha in the process, she locked one cuff around her wrist.
Inuyasha stared in muted wonder. What on earth was the crazy wench doing now? As he watched she threaded the metal chain through the pathetic looking iron headboard, placed her free wrists in the other cuff, and locked it into place. Lifting her head to look at him he swore there was liquid fire dripping from her eyes. He didn’t even get the question out before she answered him.
“I’m tired of you tiptoeing around me, of you feeling like you have to worry about me and the kind of trust you can place in me. Most of all, I’m sick of the fact that you have a reason to do this in the first place.” Her voice had a vicious edge to it he’d never heard before and she cut him off at the first move he made.
Heavens, but it still hurt that he couldn’t believe in her. She knew that he really had no reason to, that one month with her couldn’t eradicate a lifetime of cruelty, but that didn’t always make it easier to swallow. What she wouldn’t give sometimes to be able to get her hands on some of his clients (although if she were perfectly honest with herself she knew she wouldn’t really be able to follow through on any of her threats - at least not the more satisfying ones). So she would do all she could for him in the here and now and hope it would help him somehow.
She tried to calm herself more before she spoke again but inwardly she was still seething. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m stuck here,” she rattled the chain for emphasis, “and there’s no key.”
His eyes widened at that tidbit of information but she ignored his reaction. Plus, at the moment she was just really, really hoping she wouldn’t have to use the bathroom all night.
“I’m not getting out of these until you’re hanyou again and can break them. Until then I’m yours to do with as you please, only the same rules apply: no permanent damage. Other than that you can do anything you like – you can even ignore me if you want and go sulk in the other room.”
He glared at her. He was most certainly not sulking.
It seemed as though her explanation was finished because she suddenly sagged, as though either taking on a heavy burden or letting all the piss and vinegar out of her, and then fumbled around until she could get her hands above her head and lie down. Making herself relax against the pillows she closed her eyes, determined to not pressure him into any particular reaction – though the idea of her forcing him to do anything was humorous enough.
She felt his weight leave the bed and the glow behind her eyelids was snuffed out so she knew he’d turned out the lights. Waiting on baited breath she didn’t hear anything, then the door clicked and she went limp against the comforter. It seemed he’d made his decision. Oh well, it wasn’t that extraordinary, she decided. The poor guy probably never really got a night to himself so maybe he just needed this time alone. He could probably do with a rest from her anyhow. She tried to amuse herself with the thought that maybe she’d just exhausted him and his human form couldn’t keep up, but it didn’t work.
Just as she was giving herself up to the inevitability of the situation and an uncomfortable night with tingling arms, she heard the door click again. Her eyes snapped open and there he was, standing before her. “Inuyasha!” she cried in her surprise.
“Close your eyes,” he told her. First she raised an eyebrow skeptically but then, remembering her avowal that tonight he was in charge, she did as directed. Dumping the supplies he’d garnered from the other room onto the table he picked up a long strip of cloth and made his way stealthily over to her. Tying the makeshift blindfold around her head he then directed her to test it.
“Can you see anything?” Unfortunately for her Kagome never had been able to tell lies convincingly so he had to adjust the bit of fabric two more times before he got it situated properly. He, on the other hand, was fervently grateful that she was a horrid liar. In this form he wasn’t as in control of his emotions as he’d like and he didn’t want to have to spend the night worried about his facial expressions or what she was reading from them.
He stood again, the mattress squeaking from his abrupt departure, as he went to shuffle through the things he’d pilfered from the storage room. His foray into the dusty recesses searching for bandages the prior week had been most useful as he’d discovered the little trinkets. He set up the mammoth supply of old and half-burned candles, though he had to pinch matches from their bathroom where Mrs. Higurashi had placed an aromatherapy candle. Only one go at that had taught Kagome that he most certainly did not appreciate anything so strong smelling, regardless of whether it was 'nice', as she said.
Still, he was glad for the older woman’s foresight otherwise he’d probably have had to go without. He wanted to see the flesh he planned to reveal soon, and be able to stare his fill without having to worry about how the mind attached to it would react.
Finally he picked up the pair of scissors, the very ones he’d cut the gauze with. His eyes ran over her outfit: she wore a t-shirt and loose-weave, drawstring pants – not stuff that would exactly be hard to get her out of, but he liked to have his fun. He planned to reveal her perfect skin inch by marvelous inch, kissing and nipping anything newly exposed, until she was all but begging for him. Drawing things out would make them so much more enjoyable.
Kagome flinched slightly at the first feel of cold metal against her stomach but melted immediately when it was replaced by the heat of his mouth. She sighed deeply, relaxing fully for the first time that night even as the first inklings of that thrilling tightness stirred in her belly. In no time at all she was biting her bottom lip to keep from giving in to the moans that threatened to burst from her. Tonight was Inuyasha’s night; she had vowed not to give instruction of any kind and was determined to not let herself make a sound.
When he looked up and saw her restraint, though, he was having none of it. Reaching up he tugged her lip from between her teeth, caressing it lightly with his fingers, reveling in the way her own ministrations had made it swell like a mouth thoroughly kissed.
“Don’t,” he commanded. “No holding back. I want to hear you enjoying yourself, enjoying me.”
She gave in readily and as the night progressed and the tension mounted an unending stream of sighs and screams fell on his ears. He managed to kiss every single inch of her, which took some considerable acrobatics on her part – though distressingly he wasn’t able to bring himself to close the gap between his mouth and hers, despite what she’d had to sacrifice for him earlier. Their previous breaches in this particular rule made it even more imperative that he not break it now; there was too many things raw and charged hanging in the air, too many ways he’d already given himself over to her. But throughout the night he never once paused their byplay until his transformation took him over, sunlight cresting the trees and filtering in through the drapes. Then, when he cut the chains from her wrists, he flipped her on top of him and they started all over again.
~ ~ ~
The following days were a haze of laughter and joy, something the likes of which Inuyasha had never known before, but time was passing much too quickly for either of them.
Suddenly, in the middle of the night Kagome awoke with a gasp, startling awake, and Inuyasha pulled her back closer to him, curling around her as his sharp eyes searched the room. After Kagome gave pathetic excuses she herself wasn’t even listening to as her mind was so occupied, he fell back asleep, something she’d noticed had only just started happening. Until recently he’d spent the nights just as paranoid as his days and only lightly dozed. She’d felt profoundly honored and moved when she felt the change.
At the moment though she was too busy with her newest revelation to ponder all the ways he’d touched her in their short time together – or maybe it was just all the summation that led her to this point. Regardless, she now knew that she didn’t want him to leave...ever.
Oh, part of it was sympathy she knew. No one should ever have to live such a life as the one the Shrine gave him, let alone her Inuyasha – and it was just that. He was hers. She knew she could harp for hours about the injustices of society, of the position of hanyou, of how necessary it was to change things and save him, but at the end of the day she just wanted him with her. Forever. She couldn’t imagine herself ever being without him now that she knew him. It was almost like she l….
Well enough of that, she cut off the frightening thought before it could fully form in her mind. That didn’t matter. She knew what she wanted, and best of all, thanks to Ryu and a long conversation they’d had before she’d left the Shrine, she knew how to get it.
Smiling to herself as she laid out plans in her head she snuggled back into Inuyasha’s arms and fell asleep.
~ ~ ~
Kagome satin the vehicle with her mother, the silent air weighing heavily between the two normally chatty women. Mrs. Higurashi had known something important was on her daughter's mind when she asked if they could speak privately. In such a 'friendly' (read: eavesdropping) house as theirs this wasn't an easy commodity to come by so the two were purportedly out grocery shopping, though she doubted they'd even leave the car if Kagome really didn't want prying ears, so she started driving some of the more scenic bypass routes.
The younger Higurashi knew what she had to say but not quite how to say it. It wasn't exactly every day she had to broach the subject of hanyou politics with her family.
"Mom, you like Inuyasha, right?"
The older woman smiled to herself; she had seen the glances her daughter sent the Tetsudai's way, and what pleased her even more were the ones she saw directed back at her.
"He's a fine young man, Kagome."
"Hanyou."
"You know what I mean. Linguistics aren't my forte, honey, so why don't you cut to the chase here. Your squirming is making me nervous."
She took a deep breath to steel herself. "I want to ask Inuyasha to stay with us."
When no answer was forthcoming she cracked one closed eyelid to glance at her mom. She wore a strange expression on her face, so Kagome rushed to explain. "You have no idea what kind of life he's had to live, mama, the horrible things they make him do - "
"You've told me some of it: appalling things. Animals are treated better. And they say we're living in the enlightened age." For all the smiles and bubby personality of her mother she knew that a shrewd mind worked underneath. She couldn't have run a household and support three family members otherwise. Still, it caught her by surprise time and time again, especially when she remembered mentioning so little about his condition to her family. So instead, she gave her mom credit and answered the question that hadn't been voiced.
"I don't know if you know this, but hanyou have absolutely zero rights," she started quietly. "If nothing changed then Inuyasha would just be trading one prison for another, though granted our house has better food and company." She quirked a small, wistful smile. "I could not do that to him, I couldn't ask that of him.
"When I was there this little man and I became friends of sorts, accomplices almost, since he's been doing what he could to protect Inuyasha in the system he's stuck in. He told me about some paperwork that Inuyasha's father had been laying the groundwork for. In one way it's a sort of adoption - if the paperwork were in my name then he would be my sole responsibility. In another way it'd be like making him and I the exact same being. He would have all the rights of a human, exactly the same as mine, and I would be punished in the exact manner he was for any legal charges he were found guilty of."
She looked up at her mother then and the older woman wasn't surprised to see her daughter's eyes were suspiciously shiny. "Mama, I want to do this for him. I'd give anything to be able to keep him safe - "
Mrs. Higurashi pulled over to the side of the forest road and put one hand on Kagome's, stilling her fingers as they nervously twisted in on themselves. "I know, honey. You've always had a big heart - in this situation especially." She tried to smile brightly and put on a front but she couldn't help her own reservations and fears; she knew that with such a racist political system there would be many more complications and pitfalls than any of them could possibly foresee.
"There's more," she said suddenly, grasping her mother's hand with a fierce strength.
"If it only involved Inuyasha and I then it'd be a no brainer. I'm not only telling you this because I want your advice and approval, but also because it would involve you."
"Because you're living in my house?"
"No." She took a reaffirming breath. "If anything happens to me then Inuyasha would revert to someone in my familylike, like he was property or something!"
Her eyes locked with her mothers. "If I died - "
"Kagome, don't talk like that!" Mrs. Higurashi commanded, quickly performing a hex.
"It's probably inevitable. I'm human; Inuyasha's hanyou. No one knows how long hanyou live - as far as I've been able to deduce there hasn't been a single documented case of a hanyou of any breed dying from old age - but it's likely he'll have inherited at least part of his lifespan from the demon blood of his father. So it's not like I'm saying 'In case I die next year,' but we still have to admit that's a possibility as well."
There had never been such a light in her daughter's eyes, and coupled with the wistful edge of sadness it made a powerful combination a mother could never ignore.
"I know you like him dear," she said quietly, "but if this is something so dangerous..."
She knew her mom only meant best and was worried for her, but now that Kagome knew the truth she'd never be able to ignore it. She couldn't live a normal life, a free life, knowing that someone so close to her heart was suffering among countless others.
"It probably is dangerous, mama, but you taught me to fight for the things that I believe in. There isn't even much I can do, other than offer Inuyasha a home and a modicum of safety. Even with the paperwork it's unlikely he'd be able to live a normal life outside the shrine grounds and would still be subjected to bigotry and prejudice everywhere he went, but I can't turn my back on him." Plus he was starting to mean more to her than she could even fathom but it wasn't something she felt up to discussing with her mother just yet.
"Who knows, maybe if others learn about what we're doing then they'll even be able to do the same for hanyou in their families. It's something I have to do but isn't something I'm willing to force on you all."
Mrs. Higurashi nodded, knowing that was the kind of answer she was likely to get. "Better tell me the rest then."
"The man, Ryu, seems to love Inuyasha like a nephew, almost like a son, but he wasn't able to make the paperwork in his own name because he has no family to take care of Inuyasha after he dies. In that case he'd revert to being a ward of the state, and considering they can't even decide which court has jurisdiction over him I doubt that'd be a good situation. Ryu told me it'd likely be worse than the one he's in now.
"So the only reason I can consider this is because I have you, and Souta." They both knew she'd omitted reference to jii-chan because they weren't sure of his level of cooperation and self-sacrifice for anyone even part demon and his own age. As little as either liked to dwell on it, he wasn't likely to be around much longer.
"Like I said, if I took on the care of Inuyasha he would pass on to you or Souta when I die, then to Souta's kids, etc. Whoever the paperwork transferred to would have the same responsibilities and dangers as myself. That's why I can't just do this on my own but I have to check with you first, and Souta as well. I don't plan on dying anytime soon and leaving Inuyasha alone," though he'd have her family it would be different, "but it is almost a given that'll happen."
"I wanted you to think about it, then if you're willing to go along I'll have to talk to Souta as well. I won't say a word to him though until you give your okay."
Mrs. Higurashi's heart was near to bursting from all she was feeling. Kagome was so grown up she couldn't believe she'd given birth to her only eighteen years ago. She'd never felt so proud of anyone in her life as she did for her daughter in that moment - and terrified as well, for both her children. Was it fair to ask something like this of Souta, when he was still so young and couldn't even begin to understand the full ramifications? Was it fair to not give Inuyasha this chance? After all, the poor guy hadbeen asked to be born a hanyou,had never done anything to deserve such punishment. She knew this wasn't something that was likely to stay small - it'd be a political scandal. There was no way she could pretend to know the far reaching effects such an action would have in the long run, but she was sure they would be big. Still...was it right for her family to have to start it?
"I'll need time to think about this Kagome."
"Of course. I've known about all this for over three weeks and I've just now come to my decisions. I hope it's not too much to ask, but if you can I'd like to have your answer this week before Inuyasha has to go back. I never want him to step foot in that awful place again if it can be prevented. Then again, it might not matter since I'll have to talk to Souta as well if you decide we can go ahead with it, and if he says okay then I'll want to have a chat with jii-chan, just in case there's an earthquake in the house when he's at his friend's playing go." She winked at her mother, attempting some levity to lighten the mood, and she appreciated the effort. It still amazed her how level-headed her daughter was able to be about this whole thing.
Leaning across the seat she grabbed Kagome in a fierce hug, glowing with the fact that she'd raised such a girl to womanhood and that she'd felt her family strong enough and loving enough to bring them this proposal. However, she also knew that regardless of how the decision went their lives were changed forever, so she clung to her for the past and to remember the present.
~ ~ ~
On the excuse that she’d ignored her brother too much lately, Kagome had left with Souta for the movies and the duo wasn’t due back until later that night.
Inuyasha was restless without her there and he paced the shrine grounds trying to clear his head. He breathed in deeply and felt the comfort the scent brought him and immediately recoiled. This place was starting to feel too much like home to him; he was letting down his guard and allowing himself to get attached to these people. He couldn’t do that – not to himself or to them.
He knew, had known ever since his mother died, that the closer he was to a person the more he put them at risk. Ryu was okay because he had the backing of the Shrine and because he knew the reality of his situation and wouldn’t do anything foolhardy. He couldn’t depend on such character from Kagome; she was too reckless. He could easily envision her doing something completely idiotic for his sake, putting not only herself but also her family on the line.
He couldn’t let that happen. He had to leave, quickly, and sever all ties. No good could come from this situation. The Higurashi shrine, this family, it was all starting to feel like a place he could belong and he felt the gravitational pull of it, the deep longing inside him to wrap himself in the comfort and acceptance it exuded, which was why he needed to fight it and go now.
Determined, he headed back inside to ask Mrs. Higurashi about train schedules. He was set to leave tomorrow anyhow but now he had his mind set on leaving with the first whistle in the morning.
~ ~ ~
It was their last night together in their little storage shed room and neither had been able to pull away as they merely laidstill in each other's arms the majority of the day after the rest of the family had said their goodbyes to Inuyasha. They spoke soft murmured nothings as they stroked each other's hair and reveled in each other's scent, Inuyasha making lasting memories while Kagome searched for the right words to breach the silence. They had plans to leave on the early train in the morning, her making the ride with him - despite his injured pride - in order to ensure he arrived back at the Bacana Shrine safely and unaccosted. However, if she had her way, those plans would be changing and he wouldn't leave at all.
Her mother had come to her the day after their conversation and said how proud she was to have such a daughter, making Kagome choke back a sniffle, and that she would be honored to follow in her footsteps. She'd protested the words her mother had picked but Mrs. Higurashi just smiled and shooed her off to go talk with her brother.
That was something she had dreaded doing. When she first broached the subject Souta had nearly jumped with glee, proclaiming how he could be the one to protect Inuyasha for a change, excited that he would stay with their family. Then she'd had to force him to sit and listed to the grisly reality of death and crooked politicians and dirty cops and jail and...
She'd finally broken off when she saw how grim and set his face was. She'd tried to leave to give him time to think but he told her he was already decided; Inuyasha was already family and he'd protect him as such. He wouldn't be persuaded so Kagome checked with him multiple times over the following days to make sure he was certain. There was a grown up look in his eyes that she didn't like being responsible for putting there, but he kept saying how Inuyasha would need a man to help his situation since all he had so far was two women. Finally she smiled, closed her eyes against the tears, and kissed the top of her little brother's head, unable to articulate to him how privileged she was to have such a family, how fine a young man he was, and how sorry she was to put him in such a situation.
She'd decided to leave jii-chan for later since she didn't want him confronting Inuyasha until she herself had the chance to talk to him. So as she lay close to him, fingers twined in his hair, she swallowed her courage and spoke.
"Do you like it here?"
He was startled by the cutting of the silence, the urgency in her voice. "Of course I like it here wench, what'dya think?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean...do you like it a little or do you like it a lot?"
He loved the place - it was like heaven on earth to him, but there was no way he could tell her that, especially not with his departure so soon. Besides, with as much risk as he’d made this family take for his selfish desire for freedom, it was better to make a clean break altogether. "What are you getting at?" Suddenly suspicious, his eyes narrowed. She could not be taking this where he thought she was leading…could she?
Here goes nothing, she mused, mentally bracing herself. "I want you to stay here...with me."
He pushed away to look at her, sitting up. "You mean you want another week of worship or something?"
Shaking her head she sat up as well, the strap of her satin nightie falling off her shoulder, and she watched his eyes follow it. Swiftly pulling it up to prevent distraction she trudged forward.
"No, I mean I want you to stay here…permanently."
He looked at her like she had gone mad. "As in you want me to sever all ties to the Shrine and live here with your family, putting all of you in danger every day?" This could not be happening. This girl couldn’t be so incredibly dense! But then again, he mused, she could and it’d be all his fucking fault for encouraging her all along the way. He’d lapped up the opportunities she’d given him, dove into life with her family, and all around made himself too much a part of what went on here because he was too caught up in everything to see the need to keep a barrier and let them sever ties cleanly. His own selfishness had led her to this point and he could blame no one but himself. Perhaps it had been a mistake after all.
"The paperwork that Ryu has talked about, where I'd be taking you under my charge, I have it all made up and we could go turn it in to the court system tomorrow - "
"NO!" he yelled, jumping up from the bed. "I don't need your damned pity. I have a job and though it's shit I still earn my way in the world. I'm not going to let you take me on as a burden out of some stupid notion you need to save the stray!" So what, now she was endangering her family from some misguided sense of sympathy?!
"It's not pity, you jerk! I want you here with me...I love you!"
Inuyasha stilled as though he had suddenly be turned to stone, his eyes cooling from agitated anger until they were still and unreadable. "What did you say?"
"I..." she began in a small voice but then she sat up straight and with all the resolution she had behind her words she met his gaze square on. "I love you."
"No you don't." Calmly, succinctly, he shattered her world.
She froze, stunned. "How can you say that?" she whispered.
They stilled, locked in a gaze too chilling to break. Kagome was desperately trying to understand what was going on inside his head, what was causing him to cut himself off so suddenly from her like this, and Inuyasha was mentally hitting himself repeatedly. With a two-by-four. With sharp, pointy nails at the end. He’d let things go entirely too far, get completely out of hand, and he needed to put a final stop to it right now. Kagome watched, trembling but paralyzed as he turned his back to her and moved across the room, putting on his haori as he went.
He opened the door, looking back at her, and though her heart ached and cried out to run to him, to jump in his arms, to stop him, she was still frozen in place, unable to move.
"Because," he said simply, lowering his eyes from hers to rest on the doorframe as he turned halfway away from her, "that's not possible."
Then he quietly shut the door behind him, ignoring when the heavy, tense silence was cut through by soft weeping,walked out of her life.
~ ~ ~
A/N: Thanks to Akihana for giving this chapter a quick once over and making a couple suggestions.
Thank you again to all reviewers. They’ve slacked off lately but that’s why I’m so glad for hit counters ^_^ As long as I can tell my stories are being read I’ll continue to post them. YeeHaw!
~ ~ ~
Original posting: August 18, 2007
~ ~ ~
Chapter 12: Affliction
----- a state of pain, distress, or grief primarily due to adversity; misery
----- a cause of mental or bodily pain, as loss or persecution.
~ ~ ~
The black hair and dark eyes were unmistakable: Inuyasha was human. But how was that possible?
Tentatively Kagome skimmed a finger along the blanket still draped across his shoulders; sensing the heightened tension coursing through his body, she made her movements as calm and smooth as possible, trying to let him know she wasn’t going to force him into anything.
He relaxed fractionally and she moved her hand to his hair, intrigued by the slight change in texture – and slightly amused that it was as tangled as ever, if not more so. Her fingers trailed down and encountered the tip of an ear and he started, staring at her more intently and sliding away. She pulledback, willing to give him the space if he needed it, and turning her hand over she looked at it as if she could see the residual imprint from the new appendage. She’d been just as surprised as he at the contact since she was used to feeling flat skin on the sides of his face.
“How long are you going to remain human?” Her voice sounded unnaturally loud in the deep silence of the room.
He shook his head, unwilling to give out anymore information about what made him most vulnerable, and she took his hand, ignoring his half-hearted tugs. “Look, I need to know what to tell my family to keep them away and to prevent them from asking after you. I do assume you wouldn’t like them to know?” She raised an eyebrow and he merely looked away, grunting, and she couldn’t help but smile at that. It was the most Inuyasha-like behavior she’d seen out of him all night.
Standing, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed the top of his head, something he would never allow under normal circumstances. Despite everything else he still didn’t like her to touch the sensitive ears on top of his head but as of now he had no excuse. She couldn’t grin at her victory though when she felt how stiffly he still held himself.
“I’m going to go get some food from the house and then I’ll be right back, ok?”
He immediately bolted upright. “No, don’t leave.”
She knew better from the look on his face than to think it was because he so desperately wanted her presence. Instead he was virtually brimming with paranoia about what she would do once outside that little room with information so vital to him. Apparently though he could likewise tell from her face that she would do as she wished and as her Tetsudai he technically had to go along with her wishes, though that wouldn’t have prevented him from fighting with her tooth-and-nail if he thought it would make a difference.
“I’m getting us food; we both need it. Besides, if I don’t go back over then Mama or Souta will come over here to check on us and I doubt that’s something you want.”
He grudgingly had to concede her point though that didn’t mean he liked it, especially now that he wouldn’t have any chance of hearing anything going on over there in the main building.
“I’ll only be a bit and you can watch from the window if you’re so worried about it.”
Her family had put a crude window in the wall when converting it into a living space and, while it wasn’t pretty, it kept the room from getting so stifling hot during the day. At the moment, though, Inuyasha looked at it like it was a venomous snake.
“All right, all right, I get it. Bundle up on the bed if that’s what you want and I’ll be right back.”
“What will you tell them?” he suddenly asked. The thought of further humiliation at the hands of whatever excuse she made didn’t improve his mood at all.
She pursed her lips a moment then decided to stall and gather her thoughts by putting the doorknob back in place. “Not sure. Maybe something about something you’re setting up in here…or I can just smile mysteriously,” she grinned at the thought of herself being able to pull off that feat, “and let them think what they will. After all, with what we do in here at night I doubt they’ll want much information.”
At her wink Inuyasha felt himself relax marginally. She wasn’t acting any differently around him at all but he wouldn’t allow himself to hope for anything because disappointment and failure were always riding close on its heels.
“Until morning, then. I’ll remain human until morning.”
~ ~ ~
Kagome closed the door behind her and immediately went grim. How on earth had this happened? Why did Inuyasha turn human? This must have happened before since he knew how long it would last, so what did he do at the Shrine when he changed? She couldn’t imagine him letting those sadistic women find out about it but what could he do?
She’d reached the door to her house before she balked. What was she supposed to tell her family?
She had to go with the first thing that popped into her head because at that moment Souta burst through the door, obviously on his way to go summon them for dinner. Pasting on her most brilliant smile she breezed her way into the kitchen and started piling food onto two plates.
“Ne, onee-chan, where’s Inuyasha?”
Figuring the less she said about it the better she merely raised the second plate in demonstration.
“Is he sick?”
Despite her quick negative he was still half-way to the door before she caught him. When he looked back at her it was plain to see that he was merely looking for any excuse to visit the hanyou – he must have missed him. Perhaps they had been a little overzealous in their avoidance of her little brother the last couple days. She’d make a note of it to have Inuyasha spend some time with him tomorrow or the day after. But for now she had to choose her words carefully to keep her family from becoming suspicious.
“He’s setting up a surprise for me - ”
“Oh cool!” Souta exclaimed, tugging on the arm still clasped in her hand. “Can I see?”
“No!” Taking a quick breath to calm herself she lowered her voice to prevent the panic from leaking out. “No, this is specifically for me and not the kind of thing you want to see…”
She trailed off meaningfully and smirked a bit hoping he would take the bait. “What do you – oh – oh!” He stared at her, vaguely horrified, and she was incredibly thankful he was still at an age where sex was gross and taboo and not something he would ask details about – at least, not from his sister.
Kagome had no sooner let go of his arm when her mother walked into the kitchen, her grandfather trailing behind, dusty from whatever work he’d just been doing before her mother fetched him. “What are you two shouting about in here?” she asked, then looking around she continued, “And where’s Inuyasha?”
She barely contained the groan that threatened to escape. Everyone, including she herself, knew she was a horrible liar and her mother would be harder to get past than her naïve little brother. Luckily, said brother spoke up in her place.
“He’s setting up something special for her,” giving the sentence a note of derision only possible by a pre-pubescent boy.
Her mother’s gaze shifted to her and she made a curious sound. “Oh really?” Crossing her arms she smiled at her daughter who was furiously hoping she wasn’t as shaky as she felt.
“Don’t bother pumping me for details. First of all it’s a surprise and I don’t know, and second I already told you that I’m not telling you about anything that happens inside that room.”
“Fine then, let me help you.” From the growing smile on her mother’s face Kagome really didn’t want to guess at the scenarios running through her mind. She simply counted herself lucky to be getting out of there so quickly and with little fuss. Holding the two plates of food she protested there was enough already to feed a small army but Mrs. Higurashi continued to pile more on, insisting they would need all the strength they could get for the coming night. Again, Kagome wished to be kept unaware of her mom’s mind.
Grabbing the plates before they’d be too heavy to lift she headed for the door, the older woman opening it for her then placing a light kiss on the top of her head. “Now have fun.”
Rolling her eyes she made her way across the courtyard as quickly as possible then realized her problem as the door to her room loomed in front of her, shut tight.
“Inuyasha,” she hissed, then realizing that he might not be able to hear as well in his human state she spoke again, louder this time. “Inuyasha, open the door. I can’t do it with all this food in my hands.”
She got no response and resigned herself to the fact that she probably wasn’t going to so she placed one plate on the ground – that one was going to be his for not letting her in – then wheedled the door open, putting her weight into it as it sometimes had a nasty tendency to stick.
Finally getting all the food inside with her, the door locked tight behind her, she shoved a plate in Inuyasha’s face. When he ignored it she nearly growled. “I did not juggle this all the way out here so you could pretend you’re not hungry. You’re always hungry, so if you don’t eat on your own then I’m going to force feed you just like you did me.”
He glared at her but took the food, shoveling it in so that more ended up on his clothes and the bed than in his mouth. Sighing in exasperation she tucked into her own meal which they completed in silence.
Dead air – especially uncomfortable dead air – was not something that Kagome dealt with well. When he still didn’t say a word to her she was determined to draw him out, even if it meant getting his anger first.
“I assume this has happened before?”
He nodded.
“How often?”
He ignored her.
“Why does this happen?”
“You sure are a nosy wench, aren’t you?” he snapped at her.
“Yes, I am. You’re just now figuring this out?” She was sure her sarcasm wasn’t helping the situation but she couldn’t help it.
He turned away from her but she was fed up. Moving from the chair she’d eaten in, she climbed onto the bed, all but on top of him, forcing him to acknowledge her. “Inuyasha, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying here with you all night, whether you like it or not, and I don’t know what you’re so worried about. You’re human for a night, so what? I’m human all the time and I’m not cowering away.”
“I’m not cowering,” he shot back.
“Sure looks like it to me.” She raised an eyebrow at him but suddenly decided this wasn’t where she wanted to go with things. He was obviously uncomfortable and her confrontation wasn’t helping. She knew he didn’t trust her fully, that perhaps he’d never be able to, so trying to drag information out of him would only complicate things. She didn’t have to know to let him know she cared.
Carefully she lowered herself down to the mattress behind him and wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and missed the look of surprise on his face. “I shouldn’t try to force you to tell me anything you don’t want to. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and I promise to keep this secret if you want me to.”
His soft “Keh” carried through the room, scoffing at her thought that he needed comfort, but she felt him relax in her arms and was glad for it. They lay like that for a little while, just luxuriating in the soft warmth of each other, when there was a knock at the door.
“Go away,” Kagome called, irritated that her family would come over despite her insinuations. Maybe Souta missed the two of them more than she thought?
“C'mon, open up,” the voice called, “I haven’t got all night.” Kagome shot upright in the bed. That almost sounded like...but it couldn't be.Kazuma? What on earth was he doing there?
“Hold on a minute,” she yelled, slight panic edging her mind. She threw the blanket back over Inuyasha and told him to stay out of sight. “I’ll find out what he wants and send him on his way. Make sure you stay here, no matter what.”
Tidying herself up she had second thoughts and ran her hands wild through her hair, then taking a deep breath she opened the door to face him, shutting herself alone with him in the courtyard as she made sure the knob was firmly fixed in place again.
"K-Kazuma?" Her mind hadn't been playing tricks on her; it really was him. But why in the world...?
Kagome stared at the Shrine worker, confusion and panic causing her heart to beat uncontrollably and her mind to race.
"W-what are you doing here?" she stammered.
"Hi Kagome. How are you doing? It's nice to see you too." He grinned, letting her know he wasn't seriously reprimanding her - at least not entirely - but she still blushed.
"Sorry," she pushed out. Still, worry over Inuyasha's predicament prevented her from utilizing further manners. "But why are you at my house? How do you even know where I live?"
"I'm here to check up on you, Kagome," he said, grinning widely. "You didn't think we lent out our precious tetsudai without making sure you weren't breaking the merchandise while you had 'em, now did you?"
At her stunned look he chortled. "I need to make sure the bastard is still alive and relatively in one piece. And if he is, I need to make sure he is behaving properly and doing everything he can to please his client."
He waggled his eyebrows in a crudely suggestive manner, and at Kagome's face of disgust he merely shrugged. Oh, why did this have to be happening tonight of all nights?
Managing an overly-dramatic, put upon sigh, she moved to her left, tapping on the window. "Inuyasha?" she called. Sure, he didn't have his superior hearing at the moment, but she was sure his paranoia would have him carefully following everything happening outside as closely as his muted senses would let him.
Still, she was relieved when he answered her through the window with a rough, "Yeah." She'd half-expected him to stay silent, trying to hide his presence from Kazuma, but apparently he had enough faith in her to let her deal with the situation. Either that or he was busy trying to carve himself an escape hole in one of the walls.
The glass muffled his voice and the curtains hid him from view, but his gruff tone carried well. There was no way Kazuma would be able to mistake him for anyone else. Raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'See?' she rolled her eyes when he just shrugged again.
Turning back to the window, she called, "Are you sure that's you in there and not some imposter?"
His snort was all the answer needed, but he still replied, "Of course woman."
Kazuma leveled a look at her. "You let him talk to you like that?"
She waved the question away without even bothering to turn back to him. "Are you behaving yourself?" she continued pestering the window. "Do you have any complaint you'd like to lodge with Kazuma here?"
"Everything's all right, all right!"
Kagome spun to Kazuma, a too perky smile on her lips. "There, you see? We're all good here. Thanks for coming to check though.
He clicked his tongue at her. "Rules are rules, Kagome. As lamentable as it is, I need to actually see the mutt."
"No!" she cried before catching herself. She cleared her throat. "I mean, no," she repeated in a more normal voice. "There's no way I'm letting you - or anyone - in there to see such a private part of my life. Besides, since we brought home an honored tetsudai, the room has been purified to further please the kami and aid in our worship reaching their ears. If you go in we'll have to re-purify it and that's a waste of time and money."
"Fine then, have Inuyasha come out here."
"I don't think so," she said flatly. With a plaintiff edge to her voice she continued, "I don't want you having any insight into how things are for me behind closed doors." At the glint in his eye, she amended, "Well, any more than you already know, anyhow. I'm a rather private person about that kind of stuff. While I'm sure some of his other clients are, I'm no exhibitionist. Besides, he's a little, erm, tied up at the moment."
She didn't have to fake the blush that stained her cheeks. Just thinking about Inuyasha actually being in that particular situation would've done it, but having to discuss such scenarios, even if they were made up at the moment, embarrassed the heck out of her.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said glibly, not sounding sorry at all, "but rules are rules. I need to see him. Whatever it is that you're hiding could be detrimental to his health!" he added, all insouciant innocence.
"Since when do you care so much about rules? I seem to remember a certain someone leaving out most of them when teaching me about how the Shrine runs."
Really, why was he being so pushy on this? He was probably just being a pervert and wanted to see her supposed set up so he could either tease her about it later or fantasize about it later. Still, he was being just too darned dogged.
He smiled. "Some rules are more appealing, or even amusing, than others."
Kagome grit her teeth. Kazuma sure was being something else today.
"So what would it take for you to look the other way? For a friend?" She tried to ask as sweetly as possible but she was sure some of her annoyance must've leaded into her voice, given the amused expression he was wearing.
"For a friend, huh? Well I suppose just this once I could let it slide for a kiss."
She blinked at him. "A kiss?"
"A kiss," he confirmed.
Score one for the pervert argument.
She really didn't want to, but she could almost feel the nervousness flooding through the window from Inuyasha. In the end she supposed it really wasn't that big of a deal.
"All right, fine."
He grinned lasciviously, stepping forward and pressing his lips against hers almost before she'd finished speaking.
Knowing Kazuma she hadn't expected it to be a small peck, a one-second kiss, but still she was surprised when his hands started roaming. Suddenly they were everywhere, on just the very edge of propriety and where he could probably tell she'd punch him if he took more liberties, but something niggled in the back of her brain, telling her there was something odd going on beyond just the obvious.
His hands slid up and down her arms and sides, but lightly, even if multiple times. When he fiddled with her hair he seemed to be almost meticulously brushing through it with his fingers.
He was sliding but not grabbing, touching without groping. It was almost like his mind was somewhere else and he'd completely forgotten she was there.
Suddenly it clicked and she went cold. He was trying to scent mark her. So that she would smell of him when she went to Inuyasha.
This whole charade wasn't even to try and get at her; while he was still being a pervert his entire aim was getting one in at Inuyasha.
More disgusted than she knew how to deal with she pushed him away, glaring at the lecherous, triumphant grin he leveled at her. Why did he have to try all the time to be such a prick to Inuyasha? Was it because he hated hanyou or did he just have a loathing for this one in particular? As absurd as it was, she hoped it was the latter. It'd be far better for him to dislike Inuyasha as a person than to be a prejudiced jerk who hated him simply because of his race. She was sure Inuyasha would prefer that too, as poor a choice as it was.
She resisted the urge to rub the back of her hand across her lips. She was going to have to talk a scalding hot shower after this anyhow, not to mention brush her teeth. A lot.
"Okay, fine," she said shortly. "You got what you wanted now leave."
Kazuma tapped his chin thoughtfully. "There seems to be something else I'm forgetting. Now what could it be? Ah!" he snapped his fingers. "That's right. Here." He dug in his pocket, producing a crumpled bit of paper.
"What is this?" she asked hesitantly. Anything coming unexpectedly from the Shrine made her nervous. Finally she had the delivery straightened enough to see it was an envelope with Inuyasha's name on it, and she recognized the cramped handwriting.
"Ryu?" Uncertainty laced her voice despite her recognition. Why on earth would Ryu give anything to Kazuma?
"Yeah, it's for the mutt there," he pointed for the door. "I was supposed to send it with the mail last week, but things being as they were..."
"You forgot," she said flatly.
"Maybe just a bit," he admitted unrepentantly. "Anyhow, the old man was adamant that I have it here by yesterday, so I figured I'd do the nice thing and come all the way out of my way to make sure it got delivered."
"A day late."
He sniffed. "Better than not at all."
A moment more of staring at the letter in her hands and the enormity of what he just hadn't told her hit her like a ton of bricks. "Do you mean to tell me that you were here just as a delivery boy and not doing a check up on us?"
His smug expression was all the confirmation she needed.
She ground her teeth. He'd actually gone out of his way to use her, and to get at Inuyasha to boot, and that was too much. Had he never considered her his friend or did his loathing for Inuyasha just trump all of that? Suddenly she just felt tired and defeated, and wanted nothing more than her hot shower.
"Goodbye, Kazuma," she said a firm voice that brooked no refusal, not here on her family's property, not here where he admitted to having no leverage. She realized as she spoke that she meant it in more way than one. There would be no going back from this, and she wondered what it would be like to see each other at the Shrine in the future.
To her relief he put up no fuss, merely giving her a proprietary little bow before taking his way off toward the steps, a whistle on his lips. Kagome just shook her head dumbfoundedly.
Staying outside a few minutes more she gave herself time to cool her head. What was done was done, the important thing was that she’d kept Inuyasha’s secret like she’d promised. Granted, she could use a nice acid gargle, but in the end it was only a kiss. She supposed she could count herself lucky he hadn’t asked for more but figured he knew her well enough to know she would refuse any requests that had detailed more than that.
Straightening out the letter one more time she headed inside and made her way back over to Inuyasha. He was still on the bed, staring at her with a strange expression, but she wasn’t prepared to deal with him yet. Dropping the letter on the mattress she made her way to the bathroom, fixed on getting the taste of Kazuma out of her mouth and the scent of him off her skin. She shut the door before flicking on the light switch, squinting at the brightness after being in the dim courtyard and darkened room, then silently thanked her family again for redoing the plumbing out there. She'd never imagined she'd need it for this particular purpose, but it did come in handy.
Inuyasha switched his attention from the room Kagome had just disappeared into and picked up the letter, noting with increasing irritation that in his current form he actually had to turn on the light in order to read it.
Inuyasha,
I know your night is coming up and you don’t like people to know about it –
Inuyasha scoffed. Understatement of the month goes to Ryu, he thought wryly.
- and I’m sure that despite all your efforts Kagome will find out, but please try to relax a bit for once. She’s a good girl and you know it, otherwise you wouldn’t have gone on this foolish trip with her in the first place. You must trust her somewhat already to let her place that damn rosary on you. Don’t take everything out on her and snap at her. She’s more sensitive than you know and has done a great deal for you already.
Suddenly all he could hear was her talking to Kazuma outside, kissing him damn it, and it took an effort of will to not raise his hands to his ears in an ineffectual attempt to block out the sounds.
All this to say: try to remain calm. You’re likely safer there than you ever were here, despite all the precautions I took for your sake. Enjoy the time you have left and see you back in a week and a half.
Ryu
P.S. And Inuyasha…do try to have a bit of fun while you’re out, all right?
He did not want to envision the kind of face the older man had when penning that last line.
Grudgingly though he was to admit it, maybe the crazy old coot did have a point: every time Kagome was given a way to turn against him, to hurt him, she didn’t. The girl must be crazy, but she didn’t.
Still, he hadn’t survived as long as he had by trusting others – that gave them entirely too much hold.
He couldn’t make a complete exception – a lifetime of survival instincts couldn’t be thrust aside – but maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t hurt to be a little more lenient with himself around her?
The bathroom door swung open and Inuyasha started, crumpling the paper he still gripped in his hand. What would she say if she knew the thoughts circling through his mind?
She didn’t seem to care either way though as she strode past him without a glance and into the store room next door. He heard the sounds of boxes being shoved around and items being shuffled amid her muffled curses, which made him chuckle despite the circumstances.
She tumbled back into the room, disheveled, hair dripping, eyes blazing, and holding a pair of handcuffs. He immediately sobered. Damn him for getting carried away after reading Ryu’s letter. No matter what, despite the peculiarity of tonight’s circumstances, he was still her Tetsudai, bought and paid for, and had to do whatever she said short of letting himself be killed, no matter how stomach-churning or demeaning. Closing his eyes in frustration, resignation, and disappointed hopes, he fisted the rest of the paper and threw it against the opposing wall, wishing it had made a more satisfactory crunch when it hit.
Kagome stalked to the bed, eyes following the trajectory of the little paper ball, but couldn’t bring her temper down enough to stand asking about it. She’d do that tomorrow, when her mind was functioning properly. Crawling up to the head of the bed, completely ignoring Inuyasha in the process, she locked one cuff around her wrist.
Inuyasha stared in muted wonder. What on earth was the crazy wench doing now? As he watched she threaded the metal chain through the pathetic looking iron headboard, placed her free wrists in the other cuff, and locked it into place. Lifting her head to look at him he swore there was liquid fire dripping from her eyes. He didn’t even get the question out before she answered him.
“I’m tired of you tiptoeing around me, of you feeling like you have to worry about me and the kind of trust you can place in me. Most of all, I’m sick of the fact that you have a reason to do this in the first place.” Her voice had a vicious edge to it he’d never heard before and she cut him off at the first move he made.
Heavens, but it still hurt that he couldn’t believe in her. She knew that he really had no reason to, that one month with her couldn’t eradicate a lifetime of cruelty, but that didn’t always make it easier to swallow. What she wouldn’t give sometimes to be able to get her hands on some of his clients (although if she were perfectly honest with herself she knew she wouldn’t really be able to follow through on any of her threats - at least not the more satisfying ones). So she would do all she could for him in the here and now and hope it would help him somehow.
She tried to calm herself more before she spoke again but inwardly she was still seething. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m stuck here,” she rattled the chain for emphasis, “and there’s no key.”
His eyes widened at that tidbit of information but she ignored his reaction. Plus, at the moment she was just really, really hoping she wouldn’t have to use the bathroom all night.
“I’m not getting out of these until you’re hanyou again and can break them. Until then I’m yours to do with as you please, only the same rules apply: no permanent damage. Other than that you can do anything you like – you can even ignore me if you want and go sulk in the other room.”
He glared at her. He was most certainly not sulking.
It seemed as though her explanation was finished because she suddenly sagged, as though either taking on a heavy burden or letting all the piss and vinegar out of her, and then fumbled around until she could get her hands above her head and lie down. Making herself relax against the pillows she closed her eyes, determined to not pressure him into any particular reaction – though the idea of her forcing him to do anything was humorous enough.
She felt his weight leave the bed and the glow behind her eyelids was snuffed out so she knew he’d turned out the lights. Waiting on baited breath she didn’t hear anything, then the door clicked and she went limp against the comforter. It seemed he’d made his decision. Oh well, it wasn’t that extraordinary, she decided. The poor guy probably never really got a night to himself so maybe he just needed this time alone. He could probably do with a rest from her anyhow. She tried to amuse herself with the thought that maybe she’d just exhausted him and his human form couldn’t keep up, but it didn’t work.
Just as she was giving herself up to the inevitability of the situation and an uncomfortable night with tingling arms, she heard the door click again. Her eyes snapped open and there he was, standing before her. “Inuyasha!” she cried in her surprise.
“Close your eyes,” he told her. First she raised an eyebrow skeptically but then, remembering her avowal that tonight he was in charge, she did as directed. Dumping the supplies he’d garnered from the other room onto the table he picked up a long strip of cloth and made his way stealthily over to her. Tying the makeshift blindfold around her head he then directed her to test it.
“Can you see anything?” Unfortunately for her Kagome never had been able to tell lies convincingly so he had to adjust the bit of fabric two more times before he got it situated properly. He, on the other hand, was fervently grateful that she was a horrid liar. In this form he wasn’t as in control of his emotions as he’d like and he didn’t want to have to spend the night worried about his facial expressions or what she was reading from them.
He stood again, the mattress squeaking from his abrupt departure, as he went to shuffle through the things he’d pilfered from the storage room. His foray into the dusty recesses searching for bandages the prior week had been most useful as he’d discovered the little trinkets. He set up the mammoth supply of old and half-burned candles, though he had to pinch matches from their bathroom where Mrs. Higurashi had placed an aromatherapy candle. Only one go at that had taught Kagome that he most certainly did not appreciate anything so strong smelling, regardless of whether it was 'nice', as she said.
Still, he was glad for the older woman’s foresight otherwise he’d probably have had to go without. He wanted to see the flesh he planned to reveal soon, and be able to stare his fill without having to worry about how the mind attached to it would react.
Finally he picked up the pair of scissors, the very ones he’d cut the gauze with. His eyes ran over her outfit: she wore a t-shirt and loose-weave, drawstring pants – not stuff that would exactly be hard to get her out of, but he liked to have his fun. He planned to reveal her perfect skin inch by marvelous inch, kissing and nipping anything newly exposed, until she was all but begging for him. Drawing things out would make them so much more enjoyable.
Kagome flinched slightly at the first feel of cold metal against her stomach but melted immediately when it was replaced by the heat of his mouth. She sighed deeply, relaxing fully for the first time that night even as the first inklings of that thrilling tightness stirred in her belly. In no time at all she was biting her bottom lip to keep from giving in to the moans that threatened to burst from her. Tonight was Inuyasha’s night; she had vowed not to give instruction of any kind and was determined to not let herself make a sound.
When he looked up and saw her restraint, though, he was having none of it. Reaching up he tugged her lip from between her teeth, caressing it lightly with his fingers, reveling in the way her own ministrations had made it swell like a mouth thoroughly kissed.
“Don’t,” he commanded. “No holding back. I want to hear you enjoying yourself, enjoying me.”
She gave in readily and as the night progressed and the tension mounted an unending stream of sighs and screams fell on his ears. He managed to kiss every single inch of her, which took some considerable acrobatics on her part – though distressingly he wasn’t able to bring himself to close the gap between his mouth and hers, despite what she’d had to sacrifice for him earlier. Their previous breaches in this particular rule made it even more imperative that he not break it now; there was too many things raw and charged hanging in the air, too many ways he’d already given himself over to her. But throughout the night he never once paused their byplay until his transformation took him over, sunlight cresting the trees and filtering in through the drapes. Then, when he cut the chains from her wrists, he flipped her on top of him and they started all over again.
~ ~ ~
The following days were a haze of laughter and joy, something the likes of which Inuyasha had never known before, but time was passing much too quickly for either of them.
Suddenly, in the middle of the night Kagome awoke with a gasp, startling awake, and Inuyasha pulled her back closer to him, curling around her as his sharp eyes searched the room. After Kagome gave pathetic excuses she herself wasn’t even listening to as her mind was so occupied, he fell back asleep, something she’d noticed had only just started happening. Until recently he’d spent the nights just as paranoid as his days and only lightly dozed. She’d felt profoundly honored and moved when she felt the change.
At the moment though she was too busy with her newest revelation to ponder all the ways he’d touched her in their short time together – or maybe it was just all the summation that led her to this point. Regardless, she now knew that she didn’t want him to leave...ever.
Oh, part of it was sympathy she knew. No one should ever have to live such a life as the one the Shrine gave him, let alone her Inuyasha – and it was just that. He was hers. She knew she could harp for hours about the injustices of society, of the position of hanyou, of how necessary it was to change things and save him, but at the end of the day she just wanted him with her. Forever. She couldn’t imagine herself ever being without him now that she knew him. It was almost like she l….
Well enough of that, she cut off the frightening thought before it could fully form in her mind. That didn’t matter. She knew what she wanted, and best of all, thanks to Ryu and a long conversation they’d had before she’d left the Shrine, she knew how to get it.
Smiling to herself as she laid out plans in her head she snuggled back into Inuyasha’s arms and fell asleep.
~ ~ ~
Kagome satin the vehicle with her mother, the silent air weighing heavily between the two normally chatty women. Mrs. Higurashi had known something important was on her daughter's mind when she asked if they could speak privately. In such a 'friendly' (read: eavesdropping) house as theirs this wasn't an easy commodity to come by so the two were purportedly out grocery shopping, though she doubted they'd even leave the car if Kagome really didn't want prying ears, so she started driving some of the more scenic bypass routes.
The younger Higurashi knew what she had to say but not quite how to say it. It wasn't exactly every day she had to broach the subject of hanyou politics with her family.
"Mom, you like Inuyasha, right?"
The older woman smiled to herself; she had seen the glances her daughter sent the Tetsudai's way, and what pleased her even more were the ones she saw directed back at her.
"He's a fine young man, Kagome."
"Hanyou."
"You know what I mean. Linguistics aren't my forte, honey, so why don't you cut to the chase here. Your squirming is making me nervous."
She took a deep breath to steel herself. "I want to ask Inuyasha to stay with us."
When no answer was forthcoming she cracked one closed eyelid to glance at her mom. She wore a strange expression on her face, so Kagome rushed to explain. "You have no idea what kind of life he's had to live, mama, the horrible things they make him do - "
"You've told me some of it: appalling things. Animals are treated better. And they say we're living in the enlightened age." For all the smiles and bubby personality of her mother she knew that a shrewd mind worked underneath. She couldn't have run a household and support three family members otherwise. Still, it caught her by surprise time and time again, especially when she remembered mentioning so little about his condition to her family. So instead, she gave her mom credit and answered the question that hadn't been voiced.
"I don't know if you know this, but hanyou have absolutely zero rights," she started quietly. "If nothing changed then Inuyasha would just be trading one prison for another, though granted our house has better food and company." She quirked a small, wistful smile. "I could not do that to him, I couldn't ask that of him.
"When I was there this little man and I became friends of sorts, accomplices almost, since he's been doing what he could to protect Inuyasha in the system he's stuck in. He told me about some paperwork that Inuyasha's father had been laying the groundwork for. In one way it's a sort of adoption - if the paperwork were in my name then he would be my sole responsibility. In another way it'd be like making him and I the exact same being. He would have all the rights of a human, exactly the same as mine, and I would be punished in the exact manner he was for any legal charges he were found guilty of."
She looked up at her mother then and the older woman wasn't surprised to see her daughter's eyes were suspiciously shiny. "Mama, I want to do this for him. I'd give anything to be able to keep him safe - "
Mrs. Higurashi pulled over to the side of the forest road and put one hand on Kagome's, stilling her fingers as they nervously twisted in on themselves. "I know, honey. You've always had a big heart - in this situation especially." She tried to smile brightly and put on a front but she couldn't help her own reservations and fears; she knew that with such a racist political system there would be many more complications and pitfalls than any of them could possibly foresee.
"There's more," she said suddenly, grasping her mother's hand with a fierce strength.
"If it only involved Inuyasha and I then it'd be a no brainer. I'm not only telling you this because I want your advice and approval, but also because it would involve you."
"Because you're living in my house?"
"No." She took a reaffirming breath. "If anything happens to me then Inuyasha would revert to someone in my familylike, like he was property or something!"
Her eyes locked with her mothers. "If I died - "
"Kagome, don't talk like that!" Mrs. Higurashi commanded, quickly performing a hex.
"It's probably inevitable. I'm human; Inuyasha's hanyou. No one knows how long hanyou live - as far as I've been able to deduce there hasn't been a single documented case of a hanyou of any breed dying from old age - but it's likely he'll have inherited at least part of his lifespan from the demon blood of his father. So it's not like I'm saying 'In case I die next year,' but we still have to admit that's a possibility as well."
There had never been such a light in her daughter's eyes, and coupled with the wistful edge of sadness it made a powerful combination a mother could never ignore.
"I know you like him dear," she said quietly, "but if this is something so dangerous..."
She knew her mom only meant best and was worried for her, but now that Kagome knew the truth she'd never be able to ignore it. She couldn't live a normal life, a free life, knowing that someone so close to her heart was suffering among countless others.
"It probably is dangerous, mama, but you taught me to fight for the things that I believe in. There isn't even much I can do, other than offer Inuyasha a home and a modicum of safety. Even with the paperwork it's unlikely he'd be able to live a normal life outside the shrine grounds and would still be subjected to bigotry and prejudice everywhere he went, but I can't turn my back on him." Plus he was starting to mean more to her than she could even fathom but it wasn't something she felt up to discussing with her mother just yet.
"Who knows, maybe if others learn about what we're doing then they'll even be able to do the same for hanyou in their families. It's something I have to do but isn't something I'm willing to force on you all."
Mrs. Higurashi nodded, knowing that was the kind of answer she was likely to get. "Better tell me the rest then."
"The man, Ryu, seems to love Inuyasha like a nephew, almost like a son, but he wasn't able to make the paperwork in his own name because he has no family to take care of Inuyasha after he dies. In that case he'd revert to being a ward of the state, and considering they can't even decide which court has jurisdiction over him I doubt that'd be a good situation. Ryu told me it'd likely be worse than the one he's in now.
"So the only reason I can consider this is because I have you, and Souta." They both knew she'd omitted reference to jii-chan because they weren't sure of his level of cooperation and self-sacrifice for anyone even part demon and his own age. As little as either liked to dwell on it, he wasn't likely to be around much longer.
"Like I said, if I took on the care of Inuyasha he would pass on to you or Souta when I die, then to Souta's kids, etc. Whoever the paperwork transferred to would have the same responsibilities and dangers as myself. That's why I can't just do this on my own but I have to check with you first, and Souta as well. I don't plan on dying anytime soon and leaving Inuyasha alone," though he'd have her family it would be different, "but it is almost a given that'll happen."
"I wanted you to think about it, then if you're willing to go along I'll have to talk to Souta as well. I won't say a word to him though until you give your okay."
Mrs. Higurashi's heart was near to bursting from all she was feeling. Kagome was so grown up she couldn't believe she'd given birth to her only eighteen years ago. She'd never felt so proud of anyone in her life as she did for her daughter in that moment - and terrified as well, for both her children. Was it fair to ask something like this of Souta, when he was still so young and couldn't even begin to understand the full ramifications? Was it fair to not give Inuyasha this chance? After all, the poor guy hadbeen asked to be born a hanyou,had never done anything to deserve such punishment. She knew this wasn't something that was likely to stay small - it'd be a political scandal. There was no way she could pretend to know the far reaching effects such an action would have in the long run, but she was sure they would be big. Still...was it right for her family to have to start it?
"I'll need time to think about this Kagome."
"Of course. I've known about all this for over three weeks and I've just now come to my decisions. I hope it's not too much to ask, but if you can I'd like to have your answer this week before Inuyasha has to go back. I never want him to step foot in that awful place again if it can be prevented. Then again, it might not matter since I'll have to talk to Souta as well if you decide we can go ahead with it, and if he says okay then I'll want to have a chat with jii-chan, just in case there's an earthquake in the house when he's at his friend's playing go." She winked at her mother, attempting some levity to lighten the mood, and she appreciated the effort. It still amazed her how level-headed her daughter was able to be about this whole thing.
Leaning across the seat she grabbed Kagome in a fierce hug, glowing with the fact that she'd raised such a girl to womanhood and that she'd felt her family strong enough and loving enough to bring them this proposal. However, she also knew that regardless of how the decision went their lives were changed forever, so she clung to her for the past and to remember the present.
~ ~ ~
On the excuse that she’d ignored her brother too much lately, Kagome had left with Souta for the movies and the duo wasn’t due back until later that night.
Inuyasha was restless without her there and he paced the shrine grounds trying to clear his head. He breathed in deeply and felt the comfort the scent brought him and immediately recoiled. This place was starting to feel too much like home to him; he was letting down his guard and allowing himself to get attached to these people. He couldn’t do that – not to himself or to them.
He knew, had known ever since his mother died, that the closer he was to a person the more he put them at risk. Ryu was okay because he had the backing of the Shrine and because he knew the reality of his situation and wouldn’t do anything foolhardy. He couldn’t depend on such character from Kagome; she was too reckless. He could easily envision her doing something completely idiotic for his sake, putting not only herself but also her family on the line.
He couldn’t let that happen. He had to leave, quickly, and sever all ties. No good could come from this situation. The Higurashi shrine, this family, it was all starting to feel like a place he could belong and he felt the gravitational pull of it, the deep longing inside him to wrap himself in the comfort and acceptance it exuded, which was why he needed to fight it and go now.
Determined, he headed back inside to ask Mrs. Higurashi about train schedules. He was set to leave tomorrow anyhow but now he had his mind set on leaving with the first whistle in the morning.
~ ~ ~
It was their last night together in their little storage shed room and neither had been able to pull away as they merely laidstill in each other's arms the majority of the day after the rest of the family had said their goodbyes to Inuyasha. They spoke soft murmured nothings as they stroked each other's hair and reveled in each other's scent, Inuyasha making lasting memories while Kagome searched for the right words to breach the silence. They had plans to leave on the early train in the morning, her making the ride with him - despite his injured pride - in order to ensure he arrived back at the Bacana Shrine safely and unaccosted. However, if she had her way, those plans would be changing and he wouldn't leave at all.
Her mother had come to her the day after their conversation and said how proud she was to have such a daughter, making Kagome choke back a sniffle, and that she would be honored to follow in her footsteps. She'd protested the words her mother had picked but Mrs. Higurashi just smiled and shooed her off to go talk with her brother.
That was something she had dreaded doing. When she first broached the subject Souta had nearly jumped with glee, proclaiming how he could be the one to protect Inuyasha for a change, excited that he would stay with their family. Then she'd had to force him to sit and listed to the grisly reality of death and crooked politicians and dirty cops and jail and...
She'd finally broken off when she saw how grim and set his face was. She'd tried to leave to give him time to think but he told her he was already decided; Inuyasha was already family and he'd protect him as such. He wouldn't be persuaded so Kagome checked with him multiple times over the following days to make sure he was certain. There was a grown up look in his eyes that she didn't like being responsible for putting there, but he kept saying how Inuyasha would need a man to help his situation since all he had so far was two women. Finally she smiled, closed her eyes against the tears, and kissed the top of her little brother's head, unable to articulate to him how privileged she was to have such a family, how fine a young man he was, and how sorry she was to put him in such a situation.
She'd decided to leave jii-chan for later since she didn't want him confronting Inuyasha until she herself had the chance to talk to him. So as she lay close to him, fingers twined in his hair, she swallowed her courage and spoke.
"Do you like it here?"
He was startled by the cutting of the silence, the urgency in her voice. "Of course I like it here wench, what'dya think?"
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I mean...do you like it a little or do you like it a lot?"
He loved the place - it was like heaven on earth to him, but there was no way he could tell her that, especially not with his departure so soon. Besides, with as much risk as he’d made this family take for his selfish desire for freedom, it was better to make a clean break altogether. "What are you getting at?" Suddenly suspicious, his eyes narrowed. She could not be taking this where he thought she was leading…could she?
Here goes nothing, she mused, mentally bracing herself. "I want you to stay here...with me."
He pushed away to look at her, sitting up. "You mean you want another week of worship or something?"
Shaking her head she sat up as well, the strap of her satin nightie falling off her shoulder, and she watched his eyes follow it. Swiftly pulling it up to prevent distraction she trudged forward.
"No, I mean I want you to stay here…permanently."
He looked at her like she had gone mad. "As in you want me to sever all ties to the Shrine and live here with your family, putting all of you in danger every day?" This could not be happening. This girl couldn’t be so incredibly dense! But then again, he mused, she could and it’d be all his fucking fault for encouraging her all along the way. He’d lapped up the opportunities she’d given him, dove into life with her family, and all around made himself too much a part of what went on here because he was too caught up in everything to see the need to keep a barrier and let them sever ties cleanly. His own selfishness had led her to this point and he could blame no one but himself. Perhaps it had been a mistake after all.
"The paperwork that Ryu has talked about, where I'd be taking you under my charge, I have it all made up and we could go turn it in to the court system tomorrow - "
"NO!" he yelled, jumping up from the bed. "I don't need your damned pity. I have a job and though it's shit I still earn my way in the world. I'm not going to let you take me on as a burden out of some stupid notion you need to save the stray!" So what, now she was endangering her family from some misguided sense of sympathy?!
"It's not pity, you jerk! I want you here with me...I love you!"
Inuyasha stilled as though he had suddenly be turned to stone, his eyes cooling from agitated anger until they were still and unreadable. "What did you say?"
"I..." she began in a small voice but then she sat up straight and with all the resolution she had behind her words she met his gaze square on. "I love you."
"No you don't." Calmly, succinctly, he shattered her world.
She froze, stunned. "How can you say that?" she whispered.
They stilled, locked in a gaze too chilling to break. Kagome was desperately trying to understand what was going on inside his head, what was causing him to cut himself off so suddenly from her like this, and Inuyasha was mentally hitting himself repeatedly. With a two-by-four. With sharp, pointy nails at the end. He’d let things go entirely too far, get completely out of hand, and he needed to put a final stop to it right now. Kagome watched, trembling but paralyzed as he turned his back to her and moved across the room, putting on his haori as he went.
He opened the door, looking back at her, and though her heart ached and cried out to run to him, to jump in his arms, to stop him, she was still frozen in place, unable to move.
"Because," he said simply, lowering his eyes from hers to rest on the doorframe as he turned halfway away from her, "that's not possible."
Then he quietly shut the door behind him, ignoring when the heavy, tense silence was cut through by soft weeping,walked out of her life.
~ ~ ~
A/N: Thanks to Akihana for giving this chapter a quick once over and making a couple suggestions.
Thank you again to all reviewers. They’ve slacked off lately but that’s why I’m so glad for hit counters ^_^ As long as I can tell my stories are being read I’ll continue to post them. YeeHaw!
~ ~ ~
Original posting: August 18, 2007