InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ The Inu Slave ❯ Enter The Voices ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, but I do own Kai and all the voices in her head!

(a/n: Just so you don't get confused, when the voices refer to Kai as Love, it's just because at that point she doesn't have a name. It's like when people call you 'dear' or 'honey' when they don't remember who you are.)


~ Now, on with the show! ^_^
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"Sesshomaru?" He gave her a very slight nod in answer. Blinking, she continued to stare at him, her mind going a mile a minute. She wasn't a hundred percent sure, but it felt like she'd heard that name before. In some far-away place in a time long past it'd been spoken, she was sure of it. Now if only she could remember.

Frowning, she tried despratly to navigate her memory. Every so often she'd catch a glimpse of faces through the mist, hear snatches of conversation through the darkness, but nothing of importance came to her. She mentaly scowled at her mind for it's lack of copetence, while silently berating herself for thinking this time would be diffrent.

Sighing, she abandoned her mind to it's musings and shifted her attention to the man next to her, trying to figure him out. He'd killed her master, yet did not wish to rule her. He'd saved her from being "punished" yet did not wish to be her savior. And now he was allowing her to follow him, though he seemed to want nothing more to do with her. He had to be the strangest man she'd ever met, human or demon.

As she continued to stare, he turned his head slightly to look at her. For what seemed like an eternity he held her with his emotionless eyes, making her feel like a deer caught in the headlights. He raised a silvery brow at her expression, bringing her back to her senses.

Ripping her eyes from his, she stared intently at the ground. She knew she was in trouble. Remembering the things her master had done to her when he'd caught her watching him sent shivers down her spine. True this Sesshomaru was as of yet an unknown entity, but that ment little to her.

Straining her ears, she tried to pick up the sounds of him moving to do something to her. All she heard was the slight rustling of their clothing. She braced herself for the pain she knew so well. It never came. She chanced a look at him, only to find that he was watching the forest ahead.

She stopped, her eyes fixed on his retreating back. She couldn't believe he hadn't punished her. Such behavior was foreign to her, having been treated like an animal most of her life.

Narrowing her eyes she continued to gaze warily at his back. Maybe he was punishing her. Mentally. Or luring her into a false sense of security.

But then why was he walking away?

It is a test! a test of your loyalty! She, the Voice of Survival, the Voice born from living a life of servitude, hissed darkly. If you do not follow, he will punish you! You do not want that! He is demon! His punishments will hurt worse! Is that what you want Love?

She blinked, uncertin. But he said he is not your master...The other Voice, the Voice of Hope, of The Child, spoke up tentivly. Perhaps he truly does not care what you do. Perhaps he will not punish you if you simply fail to follow...She worried her bottom lip with her teeth, unsure what to do.

Love: "If you are right and he will not punish me, then...Should I simply walk away?"
Survival: "But you do not know his intentions indefinatly!"
Love: "Still, Hope has a point Survival. He did say he was not my Master."
Survival: "....."
Hope: "Then what will you do Love? Will you walk away?"
Love: "Perhaps....But..."
Hope: "But what?"
Love: "He DID save me, and for that I am indebted to him."
Hope: "True...Perhaps you can comprimise with him."
Survival: "She shall need to. After all she does not know how to fend for herself."
Love: "This is true..."
Hope: "Then follow him...."
Survival: "After all, you ARE indebted to him."

Making up her mind, she lept forward, easily covering the distance between them. This was another thing she wasn't used to. Most of her human masters, as well as many of her demon masters, disliked it when she acted other than a human, often making her wear make-up to cover her markings, and perfumes to hide her scent.

Landing lightly a few feet from him, she automaticly took her place, making sure to keep her eyes lowered, just in case. After all, Survival had taught her not to take chances. "Chances bring punishment" She said. And survival was almost always right.

~+~

They walked in silence for awhile, Sesshomaru neither accepting nor denying her presence. He simply did not acknowledge her. She knew she'd have to broach the subject of her place eventually, though she wasn't to keen to do it.

S&H: "Do it, now or never Love."

Taking a deep breath, she did that which Survival had always told her not to do: Speak her mind.
"Sesshomaru-sama?" he looked over at her.
"You are not my Master, or my Savior?"
"Correct."
"Then I am your servant?"
"No."
"But, I am indebted to you. Therefore I am bound to you, correct?"
He frowned at her. Obviously the idea didn't thrill him.
"You may be indebted, but you are not bound."
"But then, what does that mean? What am I?"
"You are free."

"Free?" She could hear Survival and Hope echoing her. Free was not a word she heard often, and it definatly wasn't one she used. She did not know free. Did not know what it felt like, nor really what it ment. Free was the opposite of what she was, free was the far side of the rainbow, distant and unatainable. As far as she was concerned, free didn't exist.

Hope: "But Love, free DOES exist! "
Love: "No, Hope, free is nothing more than a bedtime story, told to pups to give them happy dreams."
Survival: "I agree Love, free is delusion. Free is make-believe for the weak minded."
Hope: "But Love, you were BORN free!! I remember!"
Love: "I was born...Free?"
Hope: "Yes!"
Love: "But those were just...Dreams, dreams I had as a pup."
Hope: "Those were memories! You were dreaming of the past! Your past!"

Was Hope right? Had she been born free? After all, all she had to go on was Hope's word, for the memories were gone, lost to the Mist and Darkness.

"But I do not know free." She spoke quietly, her eyes fixed on the ground before her. She did not wish to see the look on his face.

She heard him stop walking and did like-wise, her gaze remaining fixed on the ground. She could feel his eyes on her, and wondered vaguely if he was going to punish her.
"Why?"
"Being a dog is all I know."
"Were you not ever free?"
"I do not know. Perhaps once, long ago, but I do not remember."

For awhile he was silent, though his eyes never left her. Despite her better judgement, she lifted her eyes up to his. She was hard pressed to describe the emotion she saw in his golden-yellow eyes, though she was thankful it was something other than cruelty.

"What is your name?"
"My...Name?"
Frowning, she tried to think back, tried to remember ever being called by something other than bitch, wench, dog, or any of the other names her masters had for her. She berated her memory, begged it to show her her past, tell her her name. And at first, all she could see was The Mist, but then, voices.

"Mother! Mother look!" The voice of a young girl, sounding much like Hope. The sound of a woman laughing happily. Slowly an image began to materialize, one of a woman and a young girl, both of which had raven black hair.
The woman examined the flowers which the little girl had woven into her hair. Words were exchanged, and the little girl turned, revealing her face.
She knew instantly the little girl had to be her, which would mean the woman was her mother. A strange feeling emerged in the pit of her stomach, one she couldn't remember ever feeling before.
She laughed as her mother hugged her, planting kisses on her cheeks. "I love you Kai." She smiled along with her memory. "I love you too mommy."


Hope: "I knew Love had a name!"
Survival: "Of course she had a name. She was born was she not?"
Hope: "But know we know it! She remembered!"
Survival: "Yes, her name and her mother's face."
Hope: "Do you think this means she's getting better?"
Survival: "It was but one simple memory..."
Hope: "One more thing remembered brings us closer to recovery."
Survival: "If you say so..."

Shifting her attention back to Sesshomaru, she caught his gaze and held it, smiling softly.
"Long ago, my name was Kai."