Kingdom Hearts Fan Fiction ❯ Before the Fall ❯ Angels Fall First ( Chapter 10 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

She felt so far from herself at the moment, yet as if everything she touched owned its own current. The hallways were blurs of colors as she sped down them, focusing only on her steps. She did not wish to dwell on the fact that there could be another set of feet following her. Her heart and harsh breath pounded in her head, shutting out the world around her as she flung open her door only to re-shut it with the same force.

Raine did not hesitate, not even for a breath; she immediately reached her closet and opening the door brought out her suitcase. ‘Only the necessities,’ she chanted to herself as she turned from placing her luggage atop the bed. She hastily walked to her dresser and pulled open the first drawer she spotted. Her movements slowed.

Her eyes scanned the articles of clothing before she reached forward to retrieve a few of them. It was then she realized the enormity of all she had just witnessed. Her hands began to shake. She made it to her bed before she fell to her knees and the tears that had been irritating her eyes for release finally fell. She pushed herself to work through them; her heart may have been breaking, but her survival meant more than that.

She reached out her hands to unclasp the hook on the luggage. She threw her clothes hastily in, only to realize she would need as much room as possible. She then began to smooth the materials down. She jumped, however, as she heard the distinct unhinging of the door. Her red eyes snapped to it. Her silent sobs, that had been issuing from her throat from the beginning grew in volume. She flinched back from the person in the doorway, her tears flowing heavier.

Even stared into the room, his eyes immediately falling upon Raine. His face fell at her state of distress. He took one step into the room then another.

“Raine,” he whispered falteringly.

She whimpered in her throat and crawled backwards. She shook her head, her vision blurring from her crying. From what she could make out her actions were affecting Even. His expression dropped from one of shame to one of pure anguish. He reached a hand out to her. He called her name a little a louder.

Raine shook her head, “Please…don’t hurt me…”

Even felt his heart plummet at her begging. The question of how much she had witnessed before was no longer an issue. She had seen and/or heard enough. Even shook his head at her. “Raine, I-” He had begun reasonably, still following her movements across the floor, but he halted as his eyes caught upon the dark leather of her suitcase. She was trying to escape? Well, could he blame her? No; he knew he would doing the same thing. He felt tears flood his eyes as well.

He brought a hand up to wipe them away, and was then that he saw the scarlet staining his sleeve. He examined the remainder of his lab coat and found it was splattered with the deceased woman’s blood. His eyes grew in size as his mouth opened; his throat became parched. A mortified gasp leaked from him. ‘I now fittingly look the part of a killer…’ He smiled bitterly at his clothing and the despair. ‘She has ever right to fear me, the lord knows I would act no different.’

He was brought from his self pity at the sounds of rustling clothing. He glanced up just in time to see Raine standing. She gazed in raw terror and betrayal into his eyes. He tried to speak again. Her eyes spoke more than rage, perhaps she was furious, but all he saw in her eyes was the emptiness of his treachery.

“Raine-”

She ran, bolted from her spot, full long towards him, her target clear. She no longer cared about the material possessions upon the bed, all she wanted was to flee. To be free from the stinging reality she found. There was nothing worse in life than to be betrayed, and even worse when you loved that person. And it would be a lie to say that she didn’t love him still.

Even was at a loss, he had no idea what to do so he acted upon rash instinct. He did not think as he grabbed Raine’s hand and jerked her backward as she attempted to pass him. He pulled her tightly to his chest, no longer worried about his filthy state. He felt her tense in his arms and her lungs expand. He raised his head to stare at her face as she prepared to scream. He clamped a hand over her mouth, and embraced her tightly. He buried his head into her brunette tresses and let go of every inhibition he held.

Raine was too shocked by his action to stop her yell that she forgot to think about biting him, but any thought whatsoever of escaping was further banished when she heard him crying. She felt his body tremble at the extent of his sobs and felt the wetness settling onto her scalp.

She froze for a moment. He was crying? She shook her head. His hand fell from her mouth and to her wrap around her waist, where his other hand had fallen to long ago. Even began to nuzzle her head with his nose.

“Don’t,” he whispered softly, “don’t leave…Please, don’t leave…me…”

Raine’s face convulsed, tears beginning renewed. They had stopped at his sudden outlet. No, she had to be firm. She brought her arms in front of her, now that his embrace had loosened slightly. She pushed him minutely and turned away from him, her hands coming to lay tightly across her chest as she hugged herself. She refused to offer Even a glance.

Even, arms still hugged to her torso limply, his face deepened in its turmoil at her shun. He kept his arms where they were, but his body began to sink to the floor, his cries louder. He fell to his knees and pressed his cheek near the curve of her lower back.

“Raine, please don’t go! Don’t leave me!…I’d kill myself before I ever laid a hand on you…I’d never harm you…Please…I could never live with myself if I ever hurt you…So I beg of you…Don’t leave me!” His fists grasped the fabric of her gown-like shirt. “Don’t leave…Don’t leave me! Please don’t leave me, Raine!”

They were genuine: the tears, the pleading, his shame. Raine could feel it, but she couldn’t deny what she had heard and the condition of his attire spoke as well. She stared down at the floor.

“Why shouldn’t I leave?”

Her voice cracked with unrestrained distress. Even’s arms unclasped from her waist and she heard them softly hit the floor. She had forgotten in the moment that Even had originally had a broken arm; it didn't matter though. She pushed the useless thought out of her mind as she heard an exhale of held breath.

“You should leave,” his voice was still gravelly from his previous tears, “you have every right to…”

Raine’s body turned and she stared at the man, still on his knees before her. His face was obscured behind his honey locks, but she could guess he was staring ashamedly from her. His hands clenched upon the floor.

“But you-…But I-”

Raine knew she sounded like a babbling idiot, but he had touched something within her. That something wanted to give Even the benefit of the doubt. It urged her to hear him out. She sighed.

“Even,” she called her voice presenting her confusion, “do you want me to stay or leave?” The man’s face glared fully into hers, his eyes still seeping salt water. He was panting from the pent up emotions. “Because if you wish me to stay, you need to start explaining yourself now.”

His eyes connected with hers, Are you sure you’re ready to hear this? Raine nodded her head at his unspoken words. She moved past Even and gestured for him join her as she sat on the edge of her bed. He hesitated, but stood and walked at an unhurried pace to sit beside her. He stared intently at his hands for a moment before he moved one to gently clasp hers. His fingers slipped between hers and he would never be able to describe the relief that embraced him when her fingers ceded and intertwined with his. His thumb softly rubbed circles on the back of her hand as he began to speak, his voice first weak, but strengthening as he continued.

“It all started when Xehanort was found on an outlying farm here on Radiant Garden. He possessed no memories of who he was or from where he came…”

Raine listened carefully to him as he explained everything. Time was no issue to them: Raine desperately wanted to understand his and the others’ reasoning. Even wanted forgiveness; craved to see the woman beside him smile affectionately at him again. He wished this moment had not existed, but it did.

“…We thought that our discoveries, despite the damage, would prevail. I wanted to be known for a colossal breakthrough in science and human nature…I’m ashamed to say that until you came along, I was ignorant to all the pain I was causing. I irrationally believed that we would find a positive outlet for our findings. We were pawns, as you see now, for Xehanort’s iniquitous intentions.”

A heavy silence lingered then, until Raine who had been gazing throughout the whole explanation at her interlocked hands whispered forlornly.

“You know that everything you’ve all done is inexcusable?”

Even released her hand, allowing his to fall to rest beside him, “Yes, I am aware of that.”

He sniffed; he expected her rejection. His eyes misted. He reverted his gaze to her still open suitcase. He didn’t deserve an honor as great as forgiveness.

Raine’s warm hand encased his and he allowed her to raise it, “but, I forgive you…I shouldn’t, but I can’t deny you it. Beyond all reason, I want to understand you. I-I can’t loathe you.” His eyes found her face. His eyebrows rose and his whole disposition spoke of his surprise. Her expression was soft. She carefully replaced his hand at his side.

The hand that had been previously occupied with his own rose and he felt its softness on his cheek as it linked around his neck and then the other hand joined it. Even felt his body still. She had forgiven him; given a gift that he truly felt undeserving of. Yet, when she embraced him, for that’s precisely what she did, his hands instantly locked above her hips, pulling her closer. And he once again sobbed, but this time in incredulity and bliss.

His tears pulled her into crying as well, every last emotion awoken from the night’s events escaping from her. When the tears stopped flowing, when they no longer moaned cries in their sensitive state silence blanketed them, and they did not interrupt it for a period of time.

“Why,” Even muttered pulling away somewhat. He stared in skepticism at her face. “Why are you still here?”

His reply was a gentle smile. You know why…Her indigo eyes stared into his. He shook his head. His cheeks shimmered in the light. He leaned forward until his forehead was pressed softly against hers. His lips pulled into reassured smile.

I love you, he mouthed to her before that very same mouth was pressed delicately against her corner of hers. He felt her mouth broaden in its grin, but he was unprepared when she took the initiative. Her head shifted and her lips touched his in a tender gesture. His eyes closed, the last imagine of hers staring back into his warmly. His lips returned the tender force again and again.

One of his arms unlatched from Raine’s waist. He raised it to her face and caressed her cheek before settling his hand behind her head. The pads of his fingers massaged her the skin underneath the angle of her skull. He kissed Raine’s lips again and his mouth opened a little wider. Shyly his tongue traced her bottom lip; all he could hear was the thundering volume of his heart.

Raine’s body became taut at the sudden caress, but just as quickly she eased and she complied to his unspoken request. Even’s tongue entered her cavern at an unhurried pace, not rushed in any way. He did not want to startle her. His hand tangled in her hair to keep her head steady.

Raine’s cheeks burned; he was the second person she had allowed to kiss her in such a way; somehow to her, this one seemed more important. More sincere. She felt the way his tongue swept her mouth slowly, granting her time to relax from his intrusion. Despite this she jumped a little when his tongue touched hers. He chuckled lowly at her reaction and his thumb rubbed the crook between her head and neck soothingly. She had stiffened at the moment of her startled jolt, but with Even’s calming movements she returned to her slackened posture as Even’s tongue once again brushed against hers.

Timidly she copied the action. She knew by feeling the widened grin on Even’s lips that she had acted perfectly. They proceeded to engage in an unhurried waltz. At first Raine had felt stupid for choosing to stay, but the affection of the man in front of her assured her of her decision. Even if it wasn't the right one, it was what she wanted.

They were breathless when they pulled away from one another. Even stroked her cheek in adoration as he untangled his fingers from her hair. His attractive expression of gentleness greeted her as she opened her eyes. Her face was glazed with elation, made only further radiant by her quickened breath, or so thought Even.

“Raine,” both of his hands cuddled hers, “I need to go get cleaned up…Would you like me to come see you before I go to sleep?”

Raine’s face flushed once again and she averted her gaze, “Yes, but…”

“But?” Even questioned, his heart beginning to ache in fear of what she would say.

“But…could, you…um…stay with me? I-”

Even brought a finger to her lips and nodded, “Of course. I rather enjoyed waking to your stunning visage this morning. There is no where I’d rather be at this moment than with you as sleep gently seduces us into its grip.” He removed his finger and tilted his head. He had practiced that speech once before earlier that morning, in naivety hoping to use it, “Is that satisfactory?”

Adrenaline allowed her to giggle and she nodded. Even stood, aware that Raine followed suit. He walked to the door, which was still wide open, but he was stopped from stepping from its threshold as Raine grabbed his hand.

“Wait,” he regarded her in confusion. She flushed again, but kept her gaze steady, “I know you’re coming back, but I just wanted you to know something before you left.”

Even gestured for her to continue. She raised her chin and, inclining her head towards him, she kissed his cheek. “I love you too, Even.”

He knew she did, but those words flowing so assuredly from her lips without any hesitation caused his heart to palpitate flutteringly. He bent his head down and captured her lips in another chaste kiss before he stepped from her.

Within seconds she heard his footsteps retreating down the hall. She noiselessly shut her door, not thinking of bolting it because of Even’s imminent return. Her fingers momentarily flew to her lips. No words from Even could have expressed his reaction to her confession better.

Raine returned to her suitcase and closed it. She stashed it back in her closet, the clothes she had placed in it still folded inside. She removed her coat and placed it atop a chair near her. She then climbed into her bed and pulled the newly laid, emerald comforter around her frame.

She closed her eyes and fell into a light sleep, only vaguely aware of the outside world. She knew not how long she had been dozing when the low sound of the door opening awakened her slightly. Fully expecting Even to have returned she remained lax as the door latched shut again.

Her sleep-coated mind questioned not when the room seemed to drop in temperature. She merely snuggled deeper into her blankets and balled her body to retain heat. She didn’t even react to the footsteps that lightly tread her carpet; her mind did not register the information that those footsteps were heavier than Even’s.

The bed sunk as the person seated themselves upon the opposite edge. A hand traced a pathway from her forehead to her chin.

“Are you cold?”

Raine tensed at that voice. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes flew open. No, that voice couldn’t be-she was having a nightmare. She willed herself to turn in her bed to met her “guest”.

Xehanort smirked at her as she acknowledged his presence. She yelped and jumped backward, tumbling off the bed as a result. She groaned as the floor connected sharply with her back, but she scrambled to her feet and backed up towards the door.

Her fearful gaze centered on Xehanort as he stood from the bed and sauntered towards her. “Oh, forgive me for startling you. I just couldn’t stand to see you in here all alone.”

Raine gulped and moved a little quicker to the door. She kept Xehanort in her sights at all times. This caused her to have to reach behind her when she came to the door. Her hand made contact with the knob and her nerves instantly retracted it. The door was freezing cold, her mouth opened.

Xehanort cocked his head with a snort. He was closer now, just a couple more steps and he would trap her against the door. She couldn’t run for it, either.

“He froze the knob.”

Her voice was a low whispering of thought. The man before her had heard it, though. “Yes, unfortunately I couldn’t have you running out of here just yet. I just want to have a word with you, alright? I know it’s a god forsaken hour, but,” he laughed, “no time like the present, eh?”

He had caught her. She pressed herself as close to the door as possible. ‘Even, please come back, hurry…’ Xehanort shook his head at her. “No need to be scared of me.”

She stared up into his face. It was clean, there was no blood remaining from his fight with Dilan and Braig thanks most likely to a handy potion. His left eye, however was still an irritated red, a lingering reminder of Dilan's fury, though there was no signs of bruising around the socket. His face softened, a change from the light scornful expression with which he had been regarding her with.

“Raine,” he reached out to touch her head, crooning sweetly, “come now-” His hand had come within her personal space too far, she instinctually batted it away which stopped his prose.

“Don’t,” her voice was seeped in adverse warning. “Don’t you touch me…you,” she paused a moment, but a plan formulated itself in her head, “…murderer.”

Just as expected her biting words caught him off guard. He froze, eyes saucers and mouth gaping. Raine took advantage of his momentary stupor. She darted past him and ran towards the emerald curtains concealing her balcony doors. She had to make it there; she could escape out into the chilling night and jam the door with one of the chairs sitting out there. Surely that would hold him until Even came back.

Her fingertips grazed the fabric. Just a little further. Success was-

Ruined.

And a warm hand grasped the back of her neck. Without a formidable amount of power she was pulled backwards. The hand freed her neck as she stumbled; the momentum was too powerful, she would be unable to stop her fall. She did have enough strength, however, to twist in order to fall face first.

Her gaze caught Xehanort’s pleased expression as she tumbled towards him. She was allowed only a startled exhale as her face met his chest roughly. She felt the rumblings of his frame as the low vibrations from his chuckles reverberated through her.

His arms lazily rested over her shoulders and linked at the palms on her shoulders, “Where do you think you’re going?” He couldn’t hide the humor he felt at her feeble attempt of escape. He received no reply. Instead she pushed against his chest, but he stiffened his slack arms so she was able only to separate their bodies by a few centimeters. He was still too close.

He laughed quietly at her, “Why do you fight me so?” Raine gave an irreverent snort and put more effort in her movements. She pushed against his chest. “Xehanort, let me go!”

Ordering him around? Well, wasn’t that interesting? Still volatile even in the gravest of situations. He leaned down his head till his mouth was level with her ear, “I really hoped you wouldn’t fight me, but alas…You brought this upon yourself.” His patronizing lilt spawned an even stronger loathing for the man. She growled in irritation; she was having enough of being rough handled. His hands tightened on her back and she was yanked flush against him.

Her arms were locked between them. His iron grip was unrelenting. Raine’s rancor quickly cooled as she realized there was now no escape. She began to tremble.

Xehanort instantly felt her quivering. He kept a hand pressed to her back as he removed the other. That one soon found itself firmly cradling her waist. “Tremble not, I would never hurt you…unless you wished me to.” Her face paled at the audacious undertone to his last comment. She was so appalled by its meaning, which wasn’t hard to discover that she didn't noticed the fact that the arm that had remained draped over her shoulder was gone. She was made aware of it, consequently, when its hand began stroking her right cheek. “You’re too delicate to harm, anyone who could dare mar your skin is assuredly mad.” He paused and lessened his grip. “Raine, you must be aware of my affections for you. I do apologize that I come across quite bold, but I am only stating myself. I hate that I've upset you, but I only want you aware of me!”

Raine was immobilized by apprehension. She felt his hot breath on her cheek. “Your fear of me is a waste though, I deeply care for you. Hurting you is the furthest thing on my mind.” His lips laid a gentle kiss on her skin.

This task done he slowly pulled away. He smiled innocently at her, as if his actions were justified by some higher authority. “Raine,” he said her name one last time before he turned away from her, “I could give you so much more than Even, just consider that. I’m sure you’ll come to see the truth of the situation. Good night.”

During his speech he had strolled lazily to her frozen door. Placing his hand upon the knob, he used the weakest fire spell and thawed the gears. His words of farewell were accompanied by his disappearance behind the closing door and its terminating echo. Raine regained her senses enough to move when the noise of Xehanort’s retreating footsteps met her ears.

Even's eyes fell to the low light still shining from beneath her door. Had she stayed awake to await his arrival? He pushed that thought from his mind; he was still riddled with guilt. He kept denying she had forgiven so easily. It wasn’t possible, but that kiss…It was too real to refute simply. Yet, it was the truth; she had exonerated him for his cruel deeds. That thought was still new to him. It would take a fair amount of time for him to accept it.

He once again cleared his mind of every thought concerning the night thus far. More favorable ones sprouted in their stead. The proposition of spending the night with the woman behind the door was at the forefront of these alluring reflections. His hand touch the knob, a noticeable warmth assaulting his palm. He stared intently at it. ‘What the hell?’ The metal was warm, but he felt a frosty clutch engulf his body. Something was wrong.

He held no reservations and the door flew open. At first, hearing nothing unusual he sighed, but that reprieve vanished when he saw her trepid gaze at him. What had he done now? There was nothing left to be accused of, at least nothing as dark as his association with Xehanort and his sinister experiments.

“Raine,” his alarm embraced her, giving her solace as he swiftly climbed atop her bed to sit beside her in the lamplight. “What’s troubling you now?”

Despite the unbidden shiver that coursed across her body, she explained in a barely audible whisper what events had occurred after he had left. By the end of her narrative Even’s face was deeply etched with agitation. Fear and vexation patterned his complexion. There was no second-guessing as he embraced the woman. She had not fallen into tears yet; the situation was still playing out.

“He won’t come near you again." He said assuredly. How the hell had the man even managed it up the stairs? Aeleus and the others had certainly put his body through such punishment that the feats he pulled should have been near impossible. Even felt her nod against him and he breathed a sigh against her neck, "You are one of the only people keeping me from breaking down. The end of this will be unpleasant, there is no light way of explaining that.” He admitted lowly.

His arms fell from around her and he watched as she regarded the mattress below them, “I will stand by you no matter what,” she spoke, “I’d offer my life in an instant for yours.” She turned off the lamp and laid in the bed, pulling the blankets to her chest. Even followed her actions and turned on the mattress to watch her. He knew she wanted to say something else. He would wait patiently for her courage to warrant her the strength to do so.

It never came. Her eyes beheld him in dread, it was clear she feared for him. She was aware that should Xehanort face justice, her own friends would be there with him. Too many ill images flashed through her mind and she squinted her eyes shut.

From his blind perspective he could not see her face constrict in terror and gloom; he did, nevertheless hear her broken moans of sorrow, feel the bed shiver beneath him as her body shook. Shifting in position, glancing only a moment at her stricken face: her eyes were closed, tears trickling from their veils. He reached out his arms and drew her frame against his, not caring that when she encircled her arms around his ribs and curled into him she stained him with her tears. He rubbed her back and cooed softly to her.

“I wish you could have been spared this pain, but I vow to make you smile again…I will lift the blanket of sorrow and darkness for you, despite the retributions I will face…I love you, Raine, always remember that. You saved me from Xehanort’s fate of madness…I must repay you…”

She feel asleep weeping in his arms as his movements progressed to running his fingers through her hair; aware that to win something would be sacrificed. She was afraid of what that price was. His words gave her strength, though, and with every tear shed she tried to imagine the weight upon her lessening. She could make it. Even had faith in her, she would survive…for him…

Even was far from sleep even as the breath from the woman beside him slowed and softened. It burned him deeply to not have been able to comfort her further. He hated more, somewhat selfishly he thought, that he had no one to offer him such relief from his penance. He lifted his hand away from Raine's hair and pressed his fingers against the edges his eyes, the only outward venting he allowed himself as wounds ripped anew within him. 'Will I ever be rid of these feelings? Assuredly heaven knows there is no worse feeling than being well aware that you have damned yourself.'

Even grit his teeth. He had spoken true, he knew, when he had told Raine that there would be no pleasant ending to these circumstances. With a painful restriction in his stomach and nauseous dread of the future he shifted down into the pillow and covering, bringing himself closer to Raine as he did so. He returned his arm once more to rest around her and forced himself to live only in the moment.