Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ What Happens in The Bar Stays in The Bar ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Title: What Happens in The Bar Stays in The Bar  
Genre: Humor
Pairings: Multipule
Rating: M *Just to be safe*
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters, so please don’t sue me. For I have no money.

Inorganic One: MY SOCK PUPPETS WILL RULE YOU ALL! *sneaks the last cookie from Garra's secret stash  <.< >.>* (dun dun dun)

Garra: Inorganic One, are you high?

Inorganic One: *Quickly stuffs the cookie in her mouth* Yes I am. I am high off skittles because I are cool like that. SO HA, IN YOUR FACE GARRA-BEAR!

Garra: Ho dear lord have mercy on my soul. Alright then, Inorganic One does not own Naruto...hay where’s my cookie...DANM IT INORGANIC ONE GIVE ME BACK MY COOKIE.*starts to chase Inorganic One*

Inorganic One: *Starts to run from Garra* I DON'T THINK YOU WANT IT BACK NOW.

--

Somewhere in Konoha on some street there was a group of ninja. 19 of them to be exact. And well to put it lightly they were drunk off their asses.

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kibe, Hinata, Shino, Shikamaru, Ino, Choji, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Garra, Tamari, Kankuro, Kakashi, Guy, Asuma and Kurani were all at a bar getting wasted.

Sitting at the bar or in this case rather dancing on the bar was Naruto and Sasuke dancing to the song "I’m too sexy". (NOTE: I do not own this song.) And this was no hooky poky dance either.

Ho no they were doing the strip tease and doing a god job of it to.

Sakura and Ino of chores were taking pictures and adding them to their "We own Sasuke photo collection".

While the green beasts of Konoha a.k.a Lee and Guy were expressing their youth in their usual way of hugging and crying with Lee destroying a wall or two in the process while shouting to the world.

"LEE"

"GUY-SENSAI"

"LEE"

"GUY-SE NSAI"

"LEE"

"GUY-SENSAI"

As all of this was going on Shikamaru and Choji had passed out on the floor after 3 full bottles of sake each.

And our little Hinata was actually joining in on the dance with Naruto and Sasuke.

Now at this point Kiba and Shino's attentions were focused on the bar where Hinata was currently striping to the music of Def Leopard’s song "Pore some Sugar on me". (Note: I do not own this song. Def leopard dose.)

While the two of them were screaming "TAKE IT OFF. TAKE IT ALL OFF."

And as all of this was going on just what happened to Neji and Tenten you ask. Well let's just find out shall we.

Well currently Neji was hiding from Tenten in the broom closet because she was attempting to shave all his hair off.

Neji lay on his side in the fetal position while mumbling "No, no. Please, not my hair. Not my hair “as images of himself bald popped in to his head.

Suddenly the door to the broom closet was ripped off the hinges as Tenten stood there with a somewhat menacing look on her face as she said "No more hiding Neji, there’s nowhere for you to run now so be a good boy and sit still. Ok."  

Neji shook his head as he tried to make a brake for it but Tenten only grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved the door back in place. The only thing that was heard after that were screams and the sound of an electric razor complete with Tenten’s crazy psycho laughter.

Back with the others the sensei’s Kakashi, Kurani and Asuma were wondering what force had talked them into taking their student's to a bar in the first place.

But all thaws thoughts were currently disposed of when Hinata was seen stripping on the bar. Well for Kakashi anyway.

So as we all know Kakashi is a manger pervert. Why else would he read books that are authored by Jiraiya? As for Kakashi, well let’s just say he was going to need a nice long cold shower after this little escapade.

As for Kurani and Asuma, they decided to go back to Asuma’s apartment to "sleep". Hint Hint

And as for the sand siblings well let’s just say that Shikamaru and Tamari aren’t going to be virgins any more. (Note: Yes Tamari raped poor Shikamaru thinking he was awake, that's how drunk she was.)

And Garra and Konkuro were bringing new meaning to the term "brotherly love". (NOTE: Nothing happened, all they did was talk, and nothing sexual happened.)

Soon after everyone who was still in the bar passed out somewhere.

That morning Naruto woke up feeling like he just got hit by a train. He looked around and was shocked at what he saw.

Curled up on both sides of him were Hinata and Sasuke and all three of them were naked. Naruto suddenly had the urge to throw his guts up and not because of the hang over, no it was because he was naked with Sasuke.

Sasuke woke up five minutes later, took one look around and felt the same as Naruto.

The moment Hinata woke up and looked around she was as red as a tomato and said to Naruto and Sasuke "what the heck happened to us last night?"

Naruto and Sasuke shuddered at the thought and shook their heads.

Soon all the others woke up with the same thoughts running through their heads when they looked around.

Then last but not least Tenten and a very bald Neji came out.

Everyone else looked at Neji but before a word could get out Neji said "before any of you say a word think about how much you value your lives". After those words everyone decided it was best to stay quiet about Neji's new hair style or lack thereof.

Soon after everyone came to an agreement that what happens in the bar stays in the bar.

Inorganic One: So, what did you all think? Let me know please. ^.^

Garra: You.....made.....me sleep with.....my brother. *proceeds to sob hysterically. T_T*

Inorganic One: Nothing happened. All the two of you did was talk. Didn't you read the note?

Garra: *Stops sobbing and reads note* Ok, I feel better now. Please review.