Original Stories Fan Fiction ❯ To Take Back Time... ❯ ...To Bring Back Life ( Chapter 1 )

He was my life, and still is. I am in love even without him. He would always tell me I was everything. We were young, but he made no motion to hide the fact that he wanted to get married. After all, we weren't made to be apart.

 

He took me to see a movie. I don't remember the title or even what kind it was. It seems like only a frivolous detail of that night. A song I loved was on the radio as we were driving home. Like the movie, I don't remember what it was, only that I turned the volume up all the way without destroying the speakers. He was singing along with me from the passenger's seat.

 

It had only just stopped snowing, so the world looked crisp. There were hardly any cars on the road, but I felt the need to drive fast even with all the new snow. There must have been three inches on the ground. I took a turn a bit too fast and we began to slide. The vehicle drifted for a few seconds, and then I regained control. He looked at me concerned and said,

 

“Maybe you should slow down now.”

 

My stubbornness told me not to let him win. “Please! I've driven in snow before.”

 

“I know but it's really slippery, and you've already lost control.”

 

“I'll drive. You sit there and look pretty.”

 

“Pretty? I believe the words you to want use are handsome, dashing, hot.”

 

“No, I meant pretty.” I was glad he had dropped the subject, because I did not like arguing with him.

 

I continued on, driving and singing. I was turning off the highway, going down the ramp. I hadn't slowed my speed the whole ride, and as the car was beginning to disobey my pleas, I wished I had. I was breaking but nothing was happening. The incline was working along with the fresh snow to combat my every effort to decelerate the vehicle. We slid all the way down the ramp, never slowing, maybe even gaining speed.

 

The car went straight into oncoming traffic. By some cruel stroke of chance, all cars coming from the left missed my car, but the one coming from the right—a semi—nailed the vehicle dead on. I hit my head on the window and severely hurt my neck, but he was not so lucky. I remember as they were pulling me from the wreckage, I became aware for only a moment, but it was long enough. I looked over and saw what I had done. He was dead, taken by me! I had been selfish and he had paid the price.

 

That's how I ended up here. I am dressed in black and am being pushed in a wheel chair across the cold tile of the church's front room. I know his casket is there, but I can't bring myself to look at it. I can feel a dark concentration of sadness to my left. There I see his family; his life before I had come along and destroyed it all. His mother's eyes meet mine and we can only stare for a long moment. She walks over to me, but says nothing. I can think of only one question to ask.

 

“Please—will you ever forgive me?” My voice chokes, but her face does not waver.

 

“I think…” She looked as if this meant everything right now. “I think that is not entirely deserved! No! No, how could you?”

 

She is crying violently now and she's beginning to move her hands through the air. I can only watch as she continues to yell at me, but I have brought it upon myself. Her husband walks over and hugs her so tight I wonder if he'll ever let her go.

 

I stay for the funeral. It is long, for he was young and loved. I attend the burial, but do not participate in placing dirt on the top of his casket. I don't think now would be the time. Later. I promise myself later I will come back and I will stay there for as long as it takes for me to feel human again.

 

I look around me, but I see no vivid colors. I see no beauty. I only see a cold, cruel world in which I created my own demise. I live here now, only half a person, wishing for death to bless me with it's presence.