Other Fan Fiction ❯ Finding Forgiveness ❯ Finding Forgiveness ( Chapter 1 )

Finding Forgiveness is an entry for Mediaminer's Second Annual Maximum Fan Fiction Contest. The category it is being entered into is Letters from the Past.

 

Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding the Jak series and its characters. Tera and Kya belong to me.

 

Finding Forgiveness

By Amaria

 

Light filtered briefly through the shuttered window, then disappeared again, leaving the room once more in darkness, shadows cast over the single table and bed. Daxter rolled over in his sleep, falling into the place that Jak normally would have occupied, making a small noise of discontent before once more drifting off, lost in his dreams. Jak sat at the table, facing the window, staring silently down at the picture he held clutched in his hands, no intention of going to bed filtering through his wired mind.

 

It wasn't like he could go to sleep, even if he did retreat to the small comforter he owned. Another wastelander passing the window, light once more swept through the room before disappearing again, the shadows creeping back over the two occupants. Jak didn't move, his mind still working to grasp onto the concept that the picture in his hands represented, to grasp onto what had happened to the life represented on that photograph.

 

Still silent, Jak lifted one hand from the picture to grab the note that had come with it from the table, reading it again just to make sure his mind hadn't been playing tricks on him the first time. He scanned it once, twice, giving up after it still said the same thing on the third try.

 

`Jak, we found this at Tera's old apartment. She must have planned on sending it before… well; we thought it would be best if you had it. Keira.'

 

Jak drew in a shuddering breath, crumpled the note and threw it across the room, not wanting to see Keira's handwriting. The girl had burned him deeply, not once, but twice, and seeing her write so carelessly about the tragedy that had befallen her sister ten years beforehand made him want to scream. Gazing down at the picture again, the twenty eight year old hero made a noise in his throat, frowning deeply. Turning it over, he re-read the message that she had written:

 

`Happy eighteenth Jak! Recognize the picture? I just found it recently, stored away with my old clothes from Sandover. I guess it somehow came through the portal with us, but I didn't know till now. Kya thought it'd make a good birthday card, so I had a bit of a border and some text put on it. Man, things have really changed since then, haven't they? Two years... we've changed, I don't even look like that anymore! Though I still don't like Kya standing on my head... but, anyways, happy birthday! We have to go kick some metal head butt next time you're free! Love, Tera (and Kya)'

 

Jak failed at stopping the sob that rose up his throat from escaping his lips, squeezing his eyes shut to keep back the sudden tears that began to well up, taking long, deep breaths in order to calm himself down. Willing the tears back, Jak opened his eyes slowly, once more turning the paper over to gaze down at the two girls pictured there. Kya hadn't changed much physically since the picture had been taken back in Sandover, the little ottsel as small and lithe as ever, hair still long and tipped with blue. Emotionally, she'd been wounded almost as badly as Jak himself. The hero had to steel himself, as he always did, before he looked at the second girl pictured there. Like him, she had been blonde, though the tips of her hair were a light, aqua colour. Her eyes were a bright, deep blue, always wide and anxious. Her ears were too long, and she was extremely gangly and awkward but… Jak had always thought she was beautiful. Not perfect like the models one would see on TV, not fake, or plastic, but real, warm and imperfect and beautiful.

 

Tera had been truth; the girl couldn't lie, and to Jak's knowledge she never had. Jak's eyes softened at the thought of her, the gangly girl he had grown up with in Sandover. Tera belonged in the past; Sandover was where she had been most comfortable, free to roam where she liked. He had been free, there, to, but then they had been thrown into the horrible world of Haven city, separated for two years only to be reunited… changed.

 

She had grown up; he had been turned into a monster.

 

`She never called me a monster,' Jak took another weary breath, `Even when others ran from me, Tera stayed. She and Daxter always stayed by me.'

 

But, despite the fact that she had blossomed in Haven City, Tera didn't belong there. Because of what had been done to him, Jak belonged to the city of the future, but not Tera; nothing could taint her pure nature, so pure that she shone in the midst of the dim citizens of Haven. A memory blossomed before Jak's tired eyes, and he welcomed it, completely loosing himself in the recollection of an, albeit slightly, happier time…

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

“I hate the city,” Tera's nose scrunched up, her bottom lip caught under her teeth as she glanced briefly over at Jak, releasing her lip only to blow a piece of hair from her eyes, “There's too many people… not like Sandover.”

 

“I miss it too,” Tera perked slightly at his reply, casting her companions a quick grin before returning her eyes to the road, pouting slightly and crossing her arms.

 

“I don't know why you won't let me drive anymore,” she whined, earning a smirk from Jak and a snicker from Daxter, “I'll have you know I've been driving for two years now!”

 

“You're better at taking down Krimzon Guard ships while air born then I am,” Jak cast her a lopsided grin, “It makes more sense that I drive and you be in charge of shooting.”

 

“He's got a point, sweets,” Daxter hopped from Jak's shoulder to Tera's, leaning his arm against the top of her head, “`Sides y'know Jak likes to be `in charge',”

 

Tera giggled, her smile returning to her lips, “True enough,”

 

“I'm being bashed by my best friends,” Jak muttered fakely, simply eliciting more laughter from his companions. His grin returning, the blonde rebel turned the stolen zoomer in the direction of Haven's farming sector, the ottsel and teen sitting next to him striking up a conversation about the most random things they could think of. Soon, after flying over the automated watering machines and mass-grown plants of the farming sector, Jak dropped the zoomer to ground level and cut the engine, grabbing his morph gun as he hopped out.

 

Tera followed suit, sliding her hand-morph guns into their normal places on her belt, making sure that Daxter was securely on her shoulder before moving forwards up the metal ramp, not bothered by the hiss of the metal doors as they slid open to allow the three Underground members to exit the city. Once outside the metal barriers of the city, all three released a relieved sigh; Jak's more contained then those of his two companions. In sync, the two humans and ottsel hopped through the warp gate, arriving just above their prior place within a matter of seconds.

 

Stepping onto the ancient Precursor platform that awaited them, the three were silent as it carried them through a tunnel of rock and Precursor metal before slowing to a stop at another entrance, allowing the companions to step off and head back into the daylight. Looking out over the forest below them, Tera stretched her arms back behind her, a smile forming on her lips. Eyes flicking to her older friend's form, the smile turned into a sly grin.

 

“Hey, Jak?” Jak looked to the younger girl, eyebrow raised at her grin.

 

“Yah?”

 

“I'll race you to the great tree!” before he could respond she was off, zipping along fallen trees and rocks on her jet board. Jak smirked, Daxter already clinging to his shoulder plate as the blonde pulled his own jet board from his back and tossed it down on the ground, jumping on and taking off after her.

 

Laughter filtered through the trees as the two raced towards the small cavern that lead to the next area of the forest, Tera managing to swerve into the space just before Jak could cut her off. Flying out of the opening one after another, an evil thought crossed through Jak's mind and, without a second thought, he leapt off his jet board, crashing into Tera and in turn knocking the smaller female off her own board just feet from the tree.

 

They tumbled side ways, a rolling mass of blue and blonde and orange, shrieks and laughter continuing to rise from the three companions. Finally coming to a stop, Jak laying beside Tera on the grass, Daxter mumbling where he had landed nearby, the three simply stayed put, not wanting to disrupt the quiet peacefulness of the forest; the closest thing to their childhood home of Sandover they had in a place such as Haven.

 

Finally catching her breath, Tera turned her head and grinned playfully at the hero, “I so beat you.”

 

Jak just laughed.

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

The sudden small weight that made itself known on his shoulder brought Jak back to the present, the last remnants of the memory fading back into the deep recesses of his mind. He desperately tried to grasp onto them, to make them stay, but Jak knew that reality had once more claimed his mind. Daxter leaned heavily on the blonde's head, the ottsel still half asleep despite his best attempts to appear fully awake.

 

“S'matter, Jak? Should be in bed, getting `ur rest,” Daxter's statement was slurred from sleepiness, but Jak understood what his friend was saying perfectly.

 

“Can't sleep,” his voice was hoarse with emotion, and he flinched when the ottsel peered over his shoulder at the picture, releasing a tired sigh.

 

“'Ur letting this take over your life, Jak,” Daxter pulled back to keep himself from tumbling forwards, “Have you told Kya yet?”

 

“No,” Jak clutched the picture tighter, eyes closing yet again in an attempt to block the tears, “I don't think it'd be a good idea for her to see this.”

 

Daxter was silent, a rare occurrence for the ottsel, his talking slightly less slurred when he spoke again, “D'ya remember when we found Kya again?”

 

Jak nodded; he remembered that day well, as it had been the first time that Tera had shown true, open emotion after their reunion. Another memory formed in his mind, called up by Daxter's words, and the blonde let it fill his mind…

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

“Ugh,” Tera hopped off the smoking zoomer, tucking away her guns, “I hate Krimzon Guards.”

 

“No arguments there,” Daxter grumbled, examining himself for any singed fur, “we didn't even hit `em hard!”

 

“We shot one down, Daxter,” Jak smirked, climbing out and following Tera inside the Hip Hog Saloon, “I think we hit him pretty good.”

 

“Yah, well the bastard deserved it, we weren't doin' anything wro-” Daxter cut himself off when he noticed that Tera seemed frozen in place in front of them, staring at something beyond their range of sight, “what s'matter Tera?”

 

Jak stepped around her, the two boys following her shocked expression and freezing in similar positions, surprise just barely fitting the description of their actions.

 

“Oh, hey you guys!” Tess greeted from behind the bar, not seeming to notice the expression on the three underground members faces, “I found this girl outside this afternoon; said she knew you so I brought her in to wait.”

 

The girl, or, to be precise, ottsel in question stood from where she had been sitting on the bar, turning to look at the three renegades with bright azure eyes. Blonde hair tipped in blue hung around her face, orange and cream fur matching Daxter's almost perfectly, her outfit similar to that of Tera's clothes from Sandover.

 

The little ottsel squinted slightly, eyes running over the three of them before settling on Tera, a spark lighting within the depths, “Tera, Jak, Daxter?”

 

A sob escaped Tera's lips, her eyes filling with tears. “Kya!” she cried, running over and grabbing the girl in a tight hug, neither able to form coherent words and simply sobbing their happiness. Jak let one of his rare smiles float across his lips, Daxter hopping down from his shoulder to run over and jump on Tera's, sharing in the hug fest when the blonde released the female ottsel from her death grip.

 

Things were looking better.

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

“C'mon, Jak, you need sleep,” Daxter tugged at his friends ear, the blonde relenting with a sigh. Standing, he put the card down on the table and slowly walked the distance to the bed, waiting for Daxter to jump down onto it before lying down himself.

 

Staring up at the ceiling, Jak wondered what he had done to make the Precursor's so mad at him. Daxter snuggled up to his friend's side, seeking his warmth. Jak doubted he would be able to get any sleep, but if Daxter wanted him to he could try.

 

“Relax, Jak,” the ottsel muttered, already falling back into his dreams, “Just pretend `ur drunk and you'll be `sleep in no time…”

 

Daxter's voice drifted off, his breathing becoming steady as he drifted off, leaving Jak with his words ringing through his head. Memories once more flooded through his mind, his eyes closing as the dream like sequence overtook him and pushed him into a deep sleep…

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

“There were twen'y metal heads less when I was through with em… Dax'ers th' one ta call when ya need ta get rid o'em metal head's…” Daxter hiccupped, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand. Kya giggled at his actions, taking another sip of her own drink. A hiccup escaping both of them, the ottsel's dissolved into a fit of laughter.

 

Tera's eyebrows rose, and she nodded her head towards them from she and Jak's booth, lifting her small glass to her lips and taking a sip, “Think we should bail them out yet?”

 

Jak chuckled, shaking his head, “Naw, let them have their fun. It's been a long time since we could relax like this.”

 

Tera nodded, her eyes staying on the two ottsel's as a comfortable silence once more settled around them. Sipping her drink again, she jumped slightly when Daxter tumbled off the counter, Kya following after shortly; the ottsel's simply laughing it off once more.

 

“They're drunk,” Tera stated, looking back to Jak; she stared at him for a few seconds, then groaned and put her head on the table, “and so am I.”

 

Jak's eyebrow rose, “You're not drunk, Tera.”

 

“Oh, yes I am,” she argued, waving a finger in his face but not lifting her head from the table, “If I wasn't drunk, then I wouldn't be tempted to say what I'm tempted to say.”

 

This only made Jak's eyebrow raise more, but she waved him off, standing up and walking over to the two ottsels.

 

“Alright, Kya, that's enough. Time to head home,” Tera bent and scooped the female ottsel up, cradling her in her arms and heading towards the Saloon's entrance. Jak followed after grabbing Daxter, swiping a two-seater vehicle that was passing by and hopping in. Tera got in the passengers side, Jak handing Daxter to her so she could let both ottsels relax on her lap. The drive back to Tera's apartment was a silent one; Tera refused to speak and Jak's mind was running through all the things that Tera could be keeping from him.

 

Reaching the city block where their apartment was located, Jak lowered the zoomer to ground level and hopped out, helping Tera to do the same; Jak wondered if she really was drunk, as her movements weren't as fluid as normal. Carrying the two sleeping ottsel's safely in her arms, Tera climbed the steps to her floor and opened the door with her key, stepping in and allowing Jak to enter behind her.

 

Tucking Daxter and Kya into the make-shift bed they had created for them, Tera moved to enter the bedroom she shared with Jak, stopped by his hand on her wrist.

 

“Let go, Jak,” she breathed, not turning to look at him, “Forget about what I said earlier; I was mumbling.”

 

“What is it that you're tempted to tell me, Tera?” he questioned, his grip never faltering.

 

“I can't say it; you'd hate me,” she replied, and Jak tugged on her wrist, forcing her to face him.

 

“I could never hate you, Tera,” he said seriously, staring her down, “Tell me.”

 

Tera looked as though she were about to argue more, but gave in with a sigh, shoulders straightening determinedly, her eyes now fully aware and focused on his face as she spoke.

 

“I love you, Jak.”

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

Jak's eyes snapped open, immediately awake as the memory-turned-dream faded back into his mind once more, reminding him that it had happened long ago. The faint light that struggled through the window told him that it was somewhere around six in the morning, and he figured that he'd gotten roughly five hours of sleep.

 

That was good, considering he'd expected to get none. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Jak sat still in the all encompassing silence, debating on what he should do. Finally, shoulders slumped, he stood and pulled on his clothes, snapping his goggles on and leaving after scribbling a quick note for Daxter.

 

He had somewhere he had to go.

 

Not paying attention to the few wastelanders he passed on his way, Jak jogged quickly into the vehicle garage and hopped into the Sand Shark, starting the ignition and speeding out of the building and into the desert. Heading for Haven, he arrived within a short amount of time, hopping out of the vehicle and entering through the gate that opened with a hiss when he neared it.

 

Grabbing the first zoomer he spotted, Jak sped off towards Haven Forest, avoiding all of the places his friends usually hung out at. He couldn't face them right now; not after receiving that picture. Reaching the farming sector of the city, he hopped off the zoomer and retraced the steps they had taken so many times ten years before, taking the warp gate up to the cliff and standing in front of the familiar Precursor platform. Taking a deep breath, Jak stepped onto it, another memory taking him over as the platform moved forwards into the cavern of rock and metal…

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

“Jak, I need you, Tera, and the rats to go to Dead Town and take down some Metal Heads; they're moving in on the sacred site there,” Torn looked up at the four underground operatives, “You up for it?”

 

“On our way,” Jak grunted in reply, turning and following after Tera as they exited the hideout. Once the wall had closed behind them, Jak grabbed Tera's wrist, much like he had just two nights before.

 

“Tera, I don't want you coming on the mission to Dead Town,” Jak watched Tera stiffen up, her head whipping around to glare at him.

 

“And why not, Jak?” she hissed, attempting to yank her wrist away, “Don't want to be near me any more then you have to be?”

 

“Quit it!” he growled, “That's not it and you know it!”

 

“Then what is it?!” she shrieked, gasping in surprise when he yanked her roughly towards him, quickly silencing any more protest by kissing her.

 

“Idiot,” he muttered, letting her go, “I'm worried about you; I don't want to loose you.”

 

Tera stared at him in shock for a few seconds, a blush creeping across her cheeks. Finally, a smile forming on her lips, she snuck up beside the male and clasped his hand with hers, kissing him on the cheek. Leaning around to see his face, Tera gave him a pointed look.

 

“I'll be fine, Jak. I'm going with you; I'm not going to leave you, I promise.”

 

***** ***** ***** ***** *****

 

Jerked from the memory as the platform stopped, Jak stepped off and into Haven Forest, jumping on his jet board in order to reach the Great Tree. Swerving in order to enter the passage that he had chased Tera through so long ago, Jak hopped off the board at the other end and walked slowly towards the tree, circling to the other side and stopping at the small gravestone that sat there.

 

All that was written on the grey stone was her name, Tera Haggai, and her age when she had died, sixteen.

 

Tera had died at sixteen years old on their mission into Dead Town, after being ambushed by Metal Heads. It was something that Jak could never forgive himself for; letting her die.

 

A breeze drifted through the forest and Jak knew, knew without looking, that Tera's spirit sat on her tomb stone. She was there every time he came, always silent and forgiving. Tera had never blamed him for her death; she had chosen to go, it was her own fault. But Jak still blamed himself; blamed himself for not protecting her better.

 

Taking a shaky breath, he looked up; gazing at the spirit of the love he had lost. Her wings were those of a true angel, not the web-like set of his light form. Tera smiled, cocking her head to the side, ever silent. It seemed death had rendered her mute, and the thought tugged at Jak's heart like no other.

 

“I'm sorry,” he choked, tears welling, “I got your card… the one you sent before…” he paused, a single tear running down his cheek, “I'm sorry… it's my fault…”

 

A soft hand brushed against his cheek, wiping away the tears that fell. Jak looked up in surprise, Tera's blue form knelt just in front of him, as solid and real as he was in his light form. She smiled, leaning forwards to brush her lips against his, pulling back and standing.

 

“I love you…” the words were a whisper as she vanished into the air, leaving a comforting presence around Jak. The hero stood, glanced at the tomb stone, and smiled a sad smile. Steeling himself, he looked to the sky, whispering words that he hadn't been able to say before,

 

“I love you, too, Tera.”