Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Waking Ami ❯ Life's Decisions: A Month In The Life ( Chapter 12 )

"Makoto, what is the deal between you and Fiore anyway? I always thought he was your boyfriend, but you mentioned the other day that you felt lonely."

Ami and Makoto sat cross-legged across from each other on a beautifully hand crafted picnic mat. The two friends had spent a few hours after Ami got out of school to just walk around and explore a bit. Makoto had received permission to take this time off of work earlier so she came prepared with everything needed for a picnic. The food surprisingly enough was prepared by the tall brunette. As the two ate, Ami couldn't help but think how delicious it was considering Makoto had never set foot in a kitchen before.

The tall brunette really didn't want to talk about this, but she liked the rapport and honesty that she and her smaller companion shared. She knew to keep that going she would have to be honest here as well. Besides, it couldn't hurt to get another persons perspective on this. "Fiore's and my relationship is, complicated. I met him when I was twelve; he saved me from some pretty rough times. Since then he has always been the most important person in my life. I just wish that I was the most important in his." Makoto put down her bento and sat quietly, trying to organize her thoughts. "We had to separate a few times over the last several years, but mostly that was due to me going to lockup so much. Other times he had things he needed to do, but I never learned what that was. Aside from that though we are always together."

Makoto glanced at Ami who was listening intently. She knew she was talking around the question, she hesitated a moment but decided to just go with it. "Fiore and I first became lovers after my last boyfriend dumped me. I had a bad habit of choosing men who just wanted me for sex. They would use me and leave me when they got bored. After that last time I just got so depressed y'know. I felt like I was worthless and no one would ever love someone like me."

Ami could tell that this story was very difficult for her friend to tell. She scooted in closer to her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was a small gesture of support, but the older teen was able to draw strength from it. "So I kinda seduced Fiore. I just wanted to feel loved. And he does love me, he's just not in love with me."

"What do you mean?"

"Fiore has someone else that he's in love with. Though I don't even think that guy even remembers him. They met when they were young and Fiore's always waiting for the perfect time to meet em again." Ami didn't fail to notice the slip Makoto made in revealing the gender of Fiore's love. Ami felt bad for her friend, it would just be difficult for Makoto to find the happiness she obviously craved with a gay man.

"So, There you are, Fiore is my best friend and I am in love with him. And, well he just doesn't think of me that way. I live for those times when I can get him to make love to me, cause it feels like we're really together, like there is no one else just us. But the reality is he just sleeps with me out of pity. There is no way my Angel could possibly be in love someone like me."

"I feel like I`ll never find someone to love me completely. Fiore`s the closest thing I got to that, and he can`t love me the way I love him. So I take what I can get until the next asshole that I fall for shows up and uses me again. It's my own fault really. I mean look at me. I'm too tall and muscular. I look like a damn boy! And I'm not even full Japanese. How can I ever be a wife when my main talents are fighting and picking locks? Who would ever want to be with someone like me? "

Makoto was feeling very vulnerable right now, she had opened up in a way she hadn't expected to. She said things out loud that she never dared voice before. She didn't know what it was, but there was something about her new friend that encouraged her to open up like this. Makoto was on the verge of tears and was surprised when arms encircled her in a steadying embrace.

The older teen wanted to cry, but held back. This quiet show of support from her friend was soothing for her troubled soul. Makoto absorbed the feeling of non-judgmental understanding that Ami was providing her. The tall teen leaned into her younger friends embrace gaining strength from it. She stayed like that for a few moments until she remembered who was holding her. She slowly released herself from the embrace and sat back a bit.

"Thanks. I appreciate that."

Ami smiled at her friend. "That is what friends are for right?" Ami looked at the ground for a moment wandering if she should continue. If what she wanted to say was appropriate. "You are wrong you know."

"Huh." Makoto gave Ami a confused look, not entirely sure what the younger girl was talking about.

"You will find someone. You told me all those things like they were bad, but I see them as strengths. Your heritage does not make you undesirable. If anything it makes you more exotic, so does your height and muscles. Don't you realize how beautiful you are? I can not believe Fiore, or your old boyfriends have never told you that."

Makoto was blushing at the younger girls compliments. It took he a second to reply, and when she did it was in a shy unsure voice. "Fiore does, but I always thought he was just trying to cheer me up."

"Well he is not, and neither am I. You are an extremely beautiful and admirable woman Makoto. Any man, or woman for that matter would be lucky to have you." Ami blushed a moment not really sure if she should continue, but she felt that her insecure friend really needed some extra reassurance. "You know, if I was not with Juni I would ask you out in a heartbeat. And believe me when I say that I would be the lucky one if you said yes."

Makoto squirmed a bit in embarrassment, but Ami did manage to make her feel better. Even though, it was definitely time for a subject change. "Speaking of Juni, are the two of you uh intimate yet?" Makoto cringed at the bluntness of her question, but she "really" wanted to change the subject.

Ami at the mention of her own sex life immediately turned beet red. "Uhm, we still have not."

"You haven't!?! Ami, you have been a couple for almost a month, I would have thought you would have done it by now." Makoto was used to being pressured into putting out in the first few dates, if not the first date. So the concept of not having sex right away was quite foreign to her. "If you're not careful she's going to get tired waiting."

Ami balked at Makoto's statement. "Juni is not like that! We have not been together yet because she wants to make sure that I am ready for that kind of commitment."

"What do you mean commitment?"

"Neither Juni or I have ever been in a relationship before, and we want to make sure that we both are feeling the same thing before we take it to the next level." Ami had always thought that waiting was the natural thing to do, but the way Makoto was talking it seemed like doing it right away was normal.

"So both of you are virgins? No way!" Makoto was shocked, everyone she has known has had sex at least once. Thinking about it she could see Ami's excuse, but Juni? No way, the woman was twenty-three after all.

Ami looked really embarrassed now, and even a little bit hurt. Makoto seemed to pick up on that right away and hastened to pull her foot out of her mouth. "Aw jeeze, y'know Ami I didn't mean it like I was making fun of ya. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said nothin. I guess I'm, just used to hanging around a different crowd of people. Please just ignore what I said, it`s good to wait to be with someone you love."

"You do love her right?"

Ami accepted Makoto's apology and the minor subject change. "Juni told me she loved me a few days after that day." Ami did not have to mention what day that was, both girls would carry emotional scars from that for a long time. "I have not said anything to her yet."

"What, Why not? Are you not sure of your feelings?"

Ami took a moment to properly state her thoughts. "I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I think I knew for sure the day I skipped school to see her. All morning throughout class the only thing I could think of, was being with her again. So, yes I do love her."

"Ok, so why haven't you said anything yet? I would think the more time goes by without you saying anything, the more insecure she will prolly be about your relationship." Makoto resumed eating her lunch, her appetite returning now that the conversation was off of herself. "I don't know, but if I told someone I loved em and they pretty much smiled and didn't say anything back I would feel pretty shitty."

Ami looked like something just hit her. "I never even considered that!" the young genius looked physically ill, assuming incorrectly that that is why Juni had been so withdrawn and melancholy lately. "It was not my intention to make it seem that way. I was just waiting for the perfect moment, but I keep getting scared whenever it comes."

"Why do you get scared? I mean you`re both in love with each other, it should all work out right?"

Ami looked away and began fidgeting with the picnic mat. "I, I planned that the day I told her would be the day we, you know." Another blush colored the shy geniuse's cheeks.

"Oh!" Makoto exclaimed, then smiled slyly at her friend. "I bet you have been trying to plan something huh?"

"Kind of."

Makoto was starting to get confused. "Ok, so you love her, she loves you, you already have the scenario planned out. What is making you so nervous?"

"I told you I am nervous about uhm being intimate with her."

"Huh, why? You're not nervous cause she's a girl are you? I kind of thought that you were a lesbian, so why would that matter?"

"No! I am, well I mean. Ugh it's not that." Ami was starting to get a bit frustrated at not being able to explain this. "I am just nervous about having sex for the first time ok! It does not matter that she is a woman. I just do not want to disappoint her."

"Oh!" Makoto mentally kicked herself for not realizing that earlier. ::Duh, she's still a virgin of course she'd have performance anxiety.:: That thought struck the tall brunette as funny and she had to struggle to hold back her laugh. Quickly composing herself she hastened to reassure her friend. "Well, remember what you were telling me about how being with her made you feel."

"Yes." Ami was not sure where her companion was going with this.

"And remember how I described what being with someone who you love is like." Ami nodded. "Well if you two really love each other, than that alone will make the experience really good. It doesn't matter if you don't know what your doing. Usually your first time with someone is weird anyways, cause you don't know each other's bodies yet. That's where feelings and emotions come in. They make it so you're not even thinking about the physical stuff you're just overwhelmed that your doing it with someone you love."

A thoughtful look crossed Ami's features. Both teens remained quiet for a while, Ami thinking on Makoto's words, and Makoto giving her friend some time to sort things out. When it became evident that Ami was not going to say anything else, the two friends finished their meal, and cleaned up their picnic site in silence.

Just when they were about to start walking home, Ami stopped her companion. She had a nervous look to her, and Makoto set down the basket she was carrying and gave Ami her complete attention. "There is something else. I want to talk about it but.."

"Ami, anything you tell me that you don't want repeated just let me know and I won't tell anyone. And I'm not the person to judge anyone, so if it's somthin embarrassing I won't make fun of it."

Ami nodded slightly and the two girls settled themselves again on the ground. Ami took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. "After the incident, Juni was missing for three days. She did not go to school and every time I called or went by her house no one was home. On the third day she finally answered the door when I went to her house. She, she seemed sick, and looked completely worn out. She told me she was recovering from a fever, but I think it was more than that."

Makoto just nodded, not wanting to interrupt the story but also wanting to let her friend know that she held her attention. "I uhm, later that night I was washing her hair, and back and she started crying. I thought I had hurt her at first, but she said it was not anything I did."

Ami's eyes took on a faraway look, as if she was trying to piece together the experience. She was in fact, in the hopes that she could see something that she didn't before. "When I washed her back, it was fine nothing was wrong with it. When she told me to stop all these welts started appearing. It was like they were hidden somehow."

"She told me that she had done something that she regretted and had paid the price for it. She wouldn't go into any details about it. All she would say is that she had to work some stuff out on her own and would tell me when she did."

Ami's hand began to unconsciously tug at the grass beneath her. Makoto wanted to say something, but felt that Ami had more to say. "That's the first time she told me she loved me. I.. I couldn't say anything back I was pretty overwhelmed. Instead I kissed her."

The Genius started to flush a little. She looked up at her friend who was hanging on her every word. "I admit that if she didn't stop me, I would have gone all the way with her. I.. I wanted to."

"Why did she stop?"

"She said that it was not right for me to be with her while she was not telling me everything about her yet."

"And she hasn't said anything about this since then?" Ami nodded no to Makoto's question. "Do you have any idea what these secrets are about? Did she give you any clue as to what is going on with her?"

"Whatever it is, she seemed afraid. She did say that she might be in some kind of trouble." Ami's shoulders slumped. This was something that had been weighing on her for some time.

The two friends retreated into their thoughts, each thinking about what Ami had just said. When one of them finally spoke, it was Makoto who had broken the silence. "Well I guess the real question is how you'd react to whatever it is she's keeping from you."

"What do you mean?"

"Is there anything she could say that would make you stop loving her? And do you trust her to eventually confide in you?"

"No" Ami's answer was instantaneous as it came from her heart. "She could tell me that she was a cross dressing alien fugitive wanted all over the world and it wouldn't change how I feel about her. And I know she will eventually confide in me."

Makoto arched an eyebrow at her friend. "Then, just make sure she understands that and you won't have any problems."

After that, Ami remained in quiet contemplation. It wasn't until Makoto was leaving Ami off in front of her apartment that the young genius said anything. "Thank you Makoto, you gave me a lot to think about. I am going to tell her soon. I just needed to hear verbalized what I should have known all along."

Makoto waved off her friend. "Hey no problem. Besides, you helped me with some stuff today too. I hope that we can keep doing that y'know. I never really had someone sides Fiore to talk to, and a lot of the stuff I need to talk about is about him." The tall teen gave her short friend a nervous smile. "So, uhm thanks. I'll be by to pick you up tomarrow." With that the older teen turned away.

Ami waved at her departing friend. "Thank you Makoto."

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The next day went by without incident. School was a drag as usual. The trip to and from school was very educational, as Ami was able to ask for a couple of bedroom "tips" from Makoto. That was easily the most embarrassed the young teen had ever been in her life, but she did learn some interesting things. When she arrived home she was quite flushed from all the stimulating conversation. She left her shoes and jacket by the door and went into the kitchen to prepare a snack, as was her habit.

"Ami, honey is that you?" The young genius practically spilled her snacks all over the floor. It was her mother, but Ami could not remember the last time she had been home at this hour. After she recovered from her shock she set down her snack things and followed her mothers voice to the back room. Even though she was startled by her, Ami was happy that she was home; it had been a while since they were able to spend any time together.

As she walked into her room, Ami found her mom just waking up and putting on some clothes that were strewn around the room. "Mom, are you alright? Did you not go to work today?"

Finally clothed, Ayanee walked over to her daughter and gave her a tight hug, one that the younger girl happily returned. "Actually my shift ended around noon, and I asked not to work a double today." Ayanee ran her fingers through her daughter's short hair. It had been several months since they cut it, but it still felt weird to her. "I was hoping that we could spend the evening together. I want to talk to you about a couple things that are going on right now."

Ami became nervous; it usually was never a good thing when her mom wanted to have a "talk." "Is everything alright, we are not moving again are we?" Just the thought of that made tears well up in the younger Mizuno's eyes. She had finally found a place she belonged and she couldn't bare to give it up yet.

"No, Goddess no!" Ayanee hastened to assure her daughter. "I promised no more moves. So unless you want to leave I don't plan on picking up anytime soon."

Ami sighed in relief.

"I actually wanted to take you somewhere later tonight. I uh, well I have some friends I would like you to meet."

Ami was shocked. "Really! You made some friends!?!" With the exception of Noriko, whom Ami didn't know about, her mother had never in her memory ever had a friend. "I would love to meet them. I just need to call Juni and let her know that I won't be able to see her tonight." Ami hurried off to go make to call. Ayanee stood there for a moment thinking about what her daughter had said. Not only did she call her teacher by her first name, she made it sound like she would be hanging out and not going to school.

Now curious, Ayanee slowly followed her daughter and tried to eaves drop on her conversation. She couldn't hear all of it, but she could tell that Ami and her teacher held a conversation like close friends and not like pupil and teacher. Of course, Ayanee knew that they were friends. Heck, Juni was probably the one responsible for Ami`s surprise party. It wasn't that that nagged at her. It was the way Ami said goodbye. Her voice had gentled and she had a curious look about her that Ayanee couldn't quite place.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. Yes. Hah! That sounds wonderful, it's a date then. Alright, have a good night take care." Ami stood leaned against the wall for a moment. If she had remembered that her mother was home, she would have wiped the silly grin off her face. Ayanee made a mental note to watch her daughter's interaction with her teacher when she left and got home from their normal Sunday together.

For the time being though, Ayanee was willing to trust in her daughters better judgment and not jump to conclusions. "Hey honey, you have everything taken care of?"

Ami jumped a little bit at the sound of her mother's voice. "Uhm, yes."

"Hey Ami come sit down with me for a second, I need to tell you something."

Ami's heart started pounding in her chest as she thought for a moment that her mother had heard her phone conversation. "Sure mom, what is it you want to talk about." Ami had to concentrate fully to be able to stop her knees from shaking as she took a seat next to her mom at the small dining table.

Ayanee noted all of this and was becoming more than a little suspicious. In the mean time though she would wait to observe the way the two acted without knowing someone was watching. "Ami I have been seeing someone."

"What!?!" Ami was immediately pulled from her nervousness by her mother's confession. "Seeing as in your dating someone? Who is she? She is a she right?" Ami shot a rapid fire of questions at her mother. Even though she was dating Juni and was really close to Makoto, her mother is still the only person that she would act hyper around. It wasn't something she did consciously either, that's just how things happened.

"Whoa! One question at a time." Ayanee breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't know why, but she half expected her daughter to be mad at the news. But hearing her daughter's obviously positive response she wondered why she could even think that. "Yes, she is a she. Her name is Umi. Now, there is something you need to know about her and I should have asked how you felt about it first but."

"What is it?"

"Well Umi was one of my patients. My partner and I found her being carried in the middle of the street by Tsuzuku, he's the other person you will meet tonight. Well, she was in pretty bad shape when we found her, and both she and Tsuzuku have amnesia. Neither of them can remember anything about themselves, not even their names. So, I let them share our last name."

"What caused it, did they find out?"

"They think that she was in some kind of knife fight, she had a mass amount of stab and slice wounds on her body. Whatever happened, it left her with a lot of scars and she lost the use of her legs."

"Oh my gosh. How is she coping with everything?" Ayanee was touched by her daughter's concern for her girlfriend. A weight was lifted off the elder Mizuno's shoulder as she realized she had no reason to be worried. The next few hours were spent with Ami asking questions about her mother's new friend and girlfriend. After Ami had asked everything she possibly could the conversation turned to catching up. They hadn't had a whole lot of time together lately, so it was nice to have this time to talk about life. As they talked, the two Mizuno's prepared a salad and a few side dishes to take with them to the other Mizuno's house. Tsuzuku was cooking, so they didn't have to worry about a main dish.

The only thing that Ami disliked bout this situation was the fact that her mother had sold her car and traded it in for a spacious minivan. Ami had loved that old car, and the two Mizuno's had many fond memories of it. It was just a minor annoyance though, Ami understood the need for the change and wouldn't fault her mother for that.

The dinner was fabulous, Tsuzuku surprised everyone by having quite the talent for preparing fish. He said it came natural to him and despite the "help" Umi insisted on giving it turned out well. This of course earned him a punch in the side from the indignant Umi.

Ayanee was pleased that Tsuzuku was on his best behavior for the night, and offered her daughter the same courtesy he showed Umi and herself. Ami seemed pretty indifferent to the future model. They talked a little but didn't really find much common ground. Still there was no animosity, so that was good.

As far as Umi was concerned, Ayanee couldn't have asked for a better reaction. It only took a few minutes before the two were chatting away like old friends. Mostly it was Ami getting details on how she met her mom, and other such things. Then it was Umi playfully digging for details on Ayanee. Ayanee was a little uncomfortable with that. She had briefly touched upon some of the problems she had gone through, and didn't want Umi to hear about them second hand from Ami.

When the night finally came to a close Ayanee went home feeling blessed. Not only had she found two good friends, one of which she loved dearly, but her daughter also got along with both of them. Nothing could have made Ayanee happier than when Ami turned to her in the car and told her that she really liked both of them and would be happy to have them as a part of the family. She even asked if she could call Umi, Auntie.

The night had been a great success. As they were on their way home both Mizuno's reflected on everything that had happened over the past month. So much had happened that it was hard to believe that that was only how long it's been. One thing was for sure. Even through all the ups and downs a lot of wonderful things happened. It was a good month in which many doors were opened. The future wasn't clear, but for the first time both women had loved ones and friends to share it with.

For the Mizuno's, life could not be better.

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Author's notes::

Wow, this chpt. Just flowed really easy. It might seem a bit rushed in areas, but I am really excited about nearing the end. I am anxious to have a completed work.

The next chpt is an important one, and chpt. 14 is the climax. 15 will be for tying up loose ends and 16 will be a short epilog.

I have decided my nest story, but throughout the updates I plan on writing three random short stories staring,

1. Tomoyo from CCS

2. Mao from princess Nine

3. I will tentatively do a Miki/Kozue fic

Please keep up the reviews, and thanks to all those who keep them constant. They keep me inspired!

Kozue and Yukari/Caroline or from the excellent manga Paradise kiss.

Jun is from Devilman Lady.

Umi means sea and Tsuzuku means to continue. Tsuzuku is based on his Manga incarnation. I have not decided how I am going to develop Umi yet.

The past three chpts took place in the month following the attack on Ami. The next chpt starts on Sunday the 5th of October.

:::Notes thoughts or Garoben's speech::

Rei is currently staying at another temple. She has been gone for four months and won't return for another month or two.

Questions? Comments? You can reach me at poepah@yahoo.com

Next chapter 13 A Perfect Day