Utena, Revolutionary Girl Fan Fiction ❯ Memory of the Rose ❯ Chapter Fifteen ( Chapter 17 )

Chapter Fifteen

Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small,

large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and

good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently

overwhelming might of the enemy.

--Winston Churchill

Several days had passed. Utena had left before her temporary sanity abandoned her according to her own wishes, at least so Sari claimed. The witty, but sad eyes of Himmemiya Utena, Sari's REAL mother had charmed him. Much had been explained, but not all of it… not even close to all of it.

The short time they had spent together had convinced Adam of one thing alone: The answers lay within Akio. Sari had her own reasons for doing what she did, but it was Akio's decision to drag him into this whole mess. It was his duty to get both himself and Sari out of here. The only person who might even have a clue about escaping this place was the Dean himself. Utena was gone, most likely meddling into some mischief as he sat, but perhaps before her return he might be able to free the rest of them from this twisted parody of a academy. It bothered him though. If Kozue had come to this school, and thus had returned here after her death… did that mean somewhere on this campus Juri walked the halls as well? He reverently hoped not. He really did. Because he had no clue how he'd managed to free Kozue and her cohorts from their eternal purgatory and no inkling how to do the same for Juri if she were also trapped.

The Council and Akio had called a meeting for that afternoon. Adam had an idea that he would be facing some charges of some sort for not winning the duel with Nurikia according to the proper rules. He just hoped not.

Tapping lightly on the door of Akio's office, he stepped in without being invited in. Some things required a little direct action. "Akio-san?"

"I was wondering when you'd come to me with questions," came a voice from the darkness. Adam shuddered slightly, but kept walking. He didn't understand any of this, he was a stranger in a strange land so to speak, but here was a walking encyclopedia of answers and he intended to get some sort of explanation.

"Sorry to be late," he quipped, settling down on the couch beside the older man. "I had things to take care of."

Akio nodded. "Packing. Preparations to leave. Sari keeps me well informed."

"It bothers you?" It better not bother him.

"No," Akio stood. "Did you know that before my Utena returned to me I had no idea Sari existed? For almost ten years I had a daughter and I didn't know it. When she began attending Ohtori I would sneak around campus to see her."

He supposed he could understand that. "Why didn't you speak to her?"

"I did, somewhat. I was not allowed to keep in contact with her much until Utena had destroyed Mitsuru. He was her last real connection to reality and sanity. You have to be driven mad, you see, to be a true Rose Bride. You have to lose everything before you can be anything. Utena would never have made a good Rose Bride. She always had her fighting spirit, her pride. I tried to crush that out of her and failed. But Sari… she lost her friends and her only family one after the other."

Adam frowned. "Utena tortured her."

"No," Akio shook his head. "Utena did no such thing. The SWORDS tortured her. Before the other night the last time I truly saw Tenjou… I mean Utena was perhaps three or four years ago. The Swords have too much strength now. Which is why you need to get Sari out of here right after the meeting tonight, before Utena returns. She has had enough time. She must flee before Utena decides to rush the Descent."

"What is the Descent?" Adam had heard this word before, but he couldn't quite figure it out. What did descending have to do with anything?

"I wish I knew," Akio replied, holding up a hand and tracing a pattern in the painted stars high above their heads. "Perhaps then I could help you more. But the Swords do not keep me privy to their desires. All I know is that the Descent is similar to the Revolution I tried to bring about all those years ago."

"Revolution? So you DID create the original Council to destroy the world." Adam was stunned. "Your ambition killed them by binding them here?"

"No, I didn't," Akio ground out. "I am not responsible them. I just created the original Council. It is not my duty to baby-sit a bunch of grown children. If they get themselves in some huge mess I'm not going to come down in a blaze of glory and help them out. You make a mess, you clean it."

Shocked, Adam couldn't help himself. "What?! But that's so heartless!" He gasped in surprise and his hands found his mouth without him ever being fully aware of how they got there. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled, certain he would find himself in yet another fight.

"I'm a lover, not a fighter." Adam's startled gaze sought out his and found Akio smirking at him. "But…"

"Think of me like their parent," he amended. "If it makes you feel any better. It's tough love, you know? I mean, if you did something wrong, your folks would either punish you or make you fix it right?"

Adam took this in, despite his obvious lack of parenting. "Well- yeah."

He shrugged. "Sari…no let me change that. Most of humanity believe that 'Dios' used to be this all-powerful, all-omnipotent being who brought you miserable humans to this planet in order to suffer in order to be worthy of 'HIM' so he could rescue them. You know what? That's a complete and total load of-"

"I get the point," Adam interrupted.

He snorted. "Right. To most humans today fairy tale princes are mythology. Either dead or I'm supposed to solve all their problems. How would you feel if you had several billion people trying to contact you on a daily basis?"

"Well, not everyone on Earth is weak," Adam pointed out carefully.

He laughed. "It was an exaggeration, Adam. I know that. But ask everyone here, at least the old Duelists know where I'm coming from. Anshi was the only one who really understood though I didn't realize it at the time. It's really frustrating having to sit back and let you people learn it all on your own. Especially when you start going backwards again. And all the wars and name-calling and crap that goes on! Don't even get me started!"

A soft flutter at his right hand caught Adam's attention. Somehow a butterfly had made it to their little locked meeting. "So what now? Sari said…"

"That you'd probably need my permission to stay here now or something?" Akio snorted. "Hardly. I don't care what you do. Your existence is your own to fritter away or spend in contemplation. I don't even care if you stop in occasionally to say hi. I mean, it's nice and all, but it's not like I own the place. If business is bad it's got nothing to do with me. The monsters inside Utena run the show now."

Surprised, Adam leaned forward. "If you didn't create the Swords, then who did?"

Akio shrugged. "I don't know. Hate was already here in this world when I arrived. I just wandered in, liked the idea of being a prince and fought for lovely ladies. Since Utena's return I've pretty much been here on the sidelines ever since. Sari comes and goes as she pleases."

Adam cupped his hand across his mouth and tried not to groan. Even though Akio was obviously very easy going, he wasn't quite certain what to make of him. "Are you serious?"

He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling up slightly. "Completely. I am your image of waste after all, aren't I? You can't believe I was once a prince."

Blinking in confusion, Adam leaned forward. "I …don't know. What do you mean?"

Akio steepled his fingers together and leaned back in his chair. "The conversation we just had. That's not the way you always thought I would be, right?

He nodded, completely and utterly confused. "Yeah. Your point being?"

Akio grinned boyishly. "I don't even know how I feel on things anymore. Maybe this will explain it better: The way I feel is the way you think I feel. But who or what I am can't ever really be explained. To you I'm opinionated and laid back. I let people do their own thing and basically I just sit back and watch. It's all a matter of perception. Everything in Ohtori is. You play the game and watch the results."

"Oh." Sitting back, Adam wasn't fully sure what to make of that. Akio had no set plan, no real rhyme or reason, just to what Utena wanted. It was frightening when he actually let himself think on it a few moments. Akio had given him very few answers and a whole load of new questions.

"Either way," Akio yawned, "we need to get to the meeting. We're late."

Adam blinked. How long had they been talking? It seemed like no more than an hour but his watch indicated several hours had passed. Shaking his head, he rose to his feet and followed Akio to the elevator. The dean smiled pleasantly until the elevator began descending when suddenly the façade dropped.

Adam found himself staring into the hurried face of the dean once more. His expression was the same as he'd worn when he had shoved the ring into Adam's hand that first day.

"It's safe now. She never comes into the elevator unless she absolutely has to! You'd walk over red hot coals to keep her safe, wouldn't you?" Akio leaned forward and wrapped his fingers around Adam's upper arm. He shook the young man once. "Am I correct in trusting you? Would you die for her?"

Adam yanked his arm away, he was angry at all these games. "Yes! Yes! I would rip my body apart limb by limb if it meant she wouldn't have to go through any more of this." He stared hopelessly at the thin curtains that led to the Council Meeting room. There, in front of Nurikia and Sari he would speak for his actions in battle. He would try to explain in words the strange conflicting emotions and memories that had surged through his body in the heat of battle. He had felt so strong, so ready to fight! He had not felt like himself, he had felt… infinite. It was as if he had no more a physical presence than a thought or dream. He had been sheer potential, a vengeful wraith of fire and ice and unstoppable power.

Despite all that, the only place he wanted to be though was in his comfortable room, reliving the strange revelry of that last night following the battle, or perhaps thinking on what Akio had just told him upstairs. The dreams had been potent, drenched in symbolism he felt he should be able to decipher but was unable. "I would die for her, Akio," he murmured in English. "But it's too late. She's in there in that room with them and I'm out here. I couldn't protect her when it counted and she cut her own face. I failed her." The elevator opened.

He whirled quickly and strode to the marble column behind which two slim figures shimmered. He didn't see Juri or Miki; all he did was pound the column with his fists once, twice. "I just want these games to END!"

"So do I, son," Akio said. "So do I."

Swallowing tightly at the raw anger and guilt in his voice, Juri's specter watched as Akio gripped the young man's shoulders. A moment later Adam had been pulled aside and was forcibly calmed down. Juri wanted to enter the chamber and help the dean comfort her bereaved son, but she knew their meeting had officially begun when the dean escorted him through the curtains of the Council Room. Nodding to the Student Council, Akio settled himself behind his desk and clapped his hands once to gather the attention of the Student Council and the young Rose Bride. Juri and Miki quickly found new positions behind the waving fronds of a particularly large plant and waited for the meeting to begin. It would not do for anyone beside Akio and Sari to know of their existence just yet.

Seated behind that large inlaid desk Akio no longer appeared a weary, time-stained educator. He was once more the Ends of the World, the exiled dark prince, and it was he and Utena who would lead them to the Descent they each so richly craved. Even the stronger set of his shoulders spoke volumes about the older man. Despite his odd appearance garbed in the traditional dueling uniform he was every inch a leader, and as was custom to Council Meetings, he easily ignored the random objects that floated about the Council Chamber in all their glorious symbolism. "At the request of the Ends of Innocence this Council meeting was called. I believe Adam does not need introduction to the Council or they to him?" At the sound of his name, Adam's head rose defiantly as his red-rimmed eyes met Akio's.

He settled immediately the chair Akio indicated as he assumed was proper for the Victor addressing his enemies and allies in council. Straightening his back, he began: "I have made no secret of the fact I consider this practice of dueling until blood is shed rather barbaric. I learned swordsmanship from several excellent masters, and never in my education was I led to believe that blood should be drawn just to decide the outcome of the match. One of my instructors was rather firm and violent in her manner of teaching, however her aim was to teach me to play dirty because not all I fought would have honor, not to simply see blood. I don't see why Sari stands for it and agrees to be your mascot for this or why the school condones it."

Akio nodded once. "Your points are well made, Adam. I'm afraid, however, that you don't fully comprehend what exactly you are fighting FOR. Your own dear instructors Juri and Kozue both battled at Ohtori."

Adam sucked in a breath. "You lie."

Juri's eyes flashed.

"I do not," Akio replied evenly.

"Why don't you go ask her?" queried Nurikia coyly. "Oh that's right, you can't. She's dead."

The slap was very loud. Nurikia's mouth dropped open in shock, even Akio couldn't keep the slightly incredulous look off his face as Sari's hand dropped primly back into her lap and she stared blankly forward once more. Adam, who had gone white with fury, smiled very slightly, and returned his gaze back to Akio.

Beside her Miki punched his hand into the air in a victorious flash, but quickly contained himself at Juri's harsh glance. Yet the smile did not fade off his face. He, perhaps more than all the others, had stubbornly held his ground on Sari's inner strength. He had finally been proven correct in his faith.

A part of them knew it was wrong to be spying on this meeting, but they needed to and couldn't quite help themselves. Miki's curiosity got the better of him and he leaned forward, waving Juri to do the same.

Akio broke the stunned silence by clearing his throat. "However you feel, Adam, I speak the truth. You were taught by some of the best duelists of their generation. It shows in the way you fight. Either way, it is of no concern to the Ends of Innocence or myself. Your opinion on the manner the duels are conducted in is of little importance to either the Council or the Ends of Innocence. You will fight for Sari or you will lose her. It is simple as that."

Adam shook his head. "No, Sir, it is not."

The dean smiled. "You will learn, just as the others did," he said. "You are no different from any other Victor after all. You are a boy playing the prince, you are nothing more than a tool, a key, a step to the Descent."

Juri sneered and was about to step forward to defend Adam with all the power of her restless spirit when a strange thing happened as they were born into some Arthurian Legend. The sun broke free of the dark storm clouds and glittered almost ominously in the rose-shaped widow set high in the chamber wall.

Fierce golden light falling from the window high above illuminated the young duelist, and for the first time Juri truly saw the illusive beauty of Adam that so captivated both the Rose Bride and all other young women in the vicinity. He truly had grown into a fine specimen of a man. Fine golden hair draped over his cheeks and his bright green eyes caught the slowly fading light with sparks of amber fire. There was nobility in his silence, strength in the smooth lines of his body humbled before the Council and the Ends of the World. Nothing would faze this man, except perhaps a declaration of love.

One that he made in front of the entire Council without blinking. "You are wrong, Sir. I am different because I love her. Very much, Sir. And I won't let anyone have her. Not the Council, not some guy off the street, not even her family. No, Sir, not even you."

A collective gasp sounded among the Council, several of the duelists who'd been trying to figure out WHY exactly Adam fought for so long and so hard for the young Rose Bride turned practically purple at his affirmation. Juri noted Nurikia's reaction with pleasure, the girl didn't change colors; she outright swayed on her feet with sheer anger. Adam had beaten her before and would easily beat her again, as well as easily trouncing all other challengers that came his way. Her chance at being the ultimate Victor was lost. Smothering a fierce grin, Juri poked Miki and pointed out the Secretary's unease and discomfort.

Miki for his part merely bared his teeth in a very uncharacteristic smile and twisted his fingers through loose tendrils of his hair. "Perfect," he whispered, "she is finally getting what she deserves. Power can't be bought through murder."

There was still a quiet buzzing in the Council room, though most of the members were finally calming down. Akio and Adam both seemed to be locked in silent conversation with their eyes alone. For their part, the Council merely glanced at one another slightly surprised, though Juri could have sworn a small smile was playing about the corners of Sari's mouth. The stitches across her cheek were barely noticeable in this light. In the dim light the girl appeared even younger than she normally did. Miki suddenly frowned beside her.

"What is going on?" he murmured, indicated the Bride.

Juri also frowned slightly. "Perhaps she's bored and acting out a little today?"

They were looking at the Rose Bride in mixed amusement and surprise. Sari's simple Ohtori school uniform was becoming shimmering and transparent as it did right before she drew forth the Sword from her breast. As they watched, her mauve-tinted hair released itself from its customary ponytail and then caught itself up into a dignified twist held up by polished sticks and decorated with small clear jewels. Magically all the Council members' school uniforms began to grow vague like her own until they were replaced with dueling uniforms much like the one Akio currently wore. However, unlike shifting the council members surrounding her, she wore a simple white gown rather than her customary ornamental dress of the Rose Bride. Something in her face made Juri want to stare at her rather than the proceedings around them. The Council was just realizing that their attire had completely altered without any of them knowing it.

"Miki," she chanced, "she really is Akio and Utena's daughter?"

Following Juri's stare, Miki nodded in understanding. Dressed as she was, Sari was truly some exotic combination of Anshi's dark look and Utena's playful style. Her eyes alone told the story of so much more. "Yes," he replied. "According to my research and calculations, yes, she really is."

"And-" prompted Juri. "She obviously knows something about the situation."

Miki blinked. "You know, I have no idea. None of the other Council Members has ever suggested she knows, but I suppose they wouldn't have a clue either in such a personal matter. As for myself, as long as I've known her, she'd never known anything of her parentage other than her mother's abandonment of her at age four. However, from what I've been able to glean from recent circumstance, I believe she may now have an inkling of whom her birth parents are. She became the Rose Bride so suddenly after Tsuwabuki's death, you see. I can only assume Utena or Akio may have come to her and perhaps inducted her into the ways of the Rose Bride."

"She's not a true Rose Bride." Surprised at the observation, Juri looked closely at the Sari's face. Though sparkly earrings dangled from small green jewels, the common jewelry for the Bride, and she held herself in the same gracious and graceful manner Anshi did previously, there was something in Sari's face that hinted at more. "Is she?"

"I'm sorry, Juri," Miki murmured, "but she is. She may not be a 'full' Rose Bride per say, but she has the power to draw the Sword. You saw it yourself."

Turning on Miki, Juri grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall and away from the Council room. Once safe, she turned to her companion and shook him lightly, somehow managing to do so without losing her icy composure. "She can draw the Sword, yes, but how does that make her necessarily a Rose Bride? The Victor can draw the Sword…"

Raising one eyebrow, Miki shrugged. "The Victor can only draw the Sword from the Rose Bride, remember?"

Trying desperately not to belt her friend, Juri shook her head once more in excitement. "That's not what I meant, and you know it! Sari withdrew the Sword FROM HERSELF, Miki! Adam was nowhere near her to catch her as Utena used to catch Anshi. She drew the Sword from her own soul and held it at ready. She almost looked prepared for battle, I'd swear to it."

Miki pulled out of Juri's grip and rubbed his forehead. "So she's the first Rose Bride who can keep her balance enough to pull the Sword from her own body and not fall. I wouldn't be surprised, she was a dancer for many, many years before she became a duelist."

"But that's not it," Juri argued passionately. It was strange to be so fierce about someone other than Shiori after all these years, strange and pleasant. "Miki, you're being purposefully blind. Akio and Utena have both said that Adam is not the true Victor now, he's just a key!"

"Excuse me?" Miki regarded her friend as if she'd just grown another head. "I think I misheard you there. Adam is the Victor! It was what you were told to do, to train him to protect Sari."

"No, he's not." Juri drew her arms around herself and stilled. It was as if a thin layer of ice surrounded her, encased her in her own thoughts. "That's just it, Miki. I was asked by Anshi to train him to protect Sari, not to revolutionize anything, or descend anywhere. I don't know what Utena's ultimate intentions are, but I would bet that Anshi knew nothing of them at the time she requested me to take Adam under my wing. I was supposed to train him to be a good man and a good fighter for Sari's sake, and that of his mother, but Anshi never said he was to be a duelist. Over and over again it has been said that he may be the Victor now, but that he is not the True Victor. He is the key."

Miki smiled. "The key to what? If he's the key, what is he to unlock?"

"I don't know," Juri admitted as they began walking back toward the Council room. "That I do not know."

Waving his hands in a roundabout way, Miki smiled with some of his old sweetness. "That's one of the drawbacks of believing in miracles, hey? You can't always back them up."

"It couldn't hurt you to believe a little too," Juri replied as they reached the door. "She was your ward too. Don't you worry for her? Don't you want to help her escape Ohtori?"

Miki smiled ruefully. "She is the Rose Bride, Juri. Sari will never escape Ohtori."

Ignoring Miki's pleasant but defeating attitude, Juri tried to remember the expression on the girl's face. Unusually pale skin considering her father, still creamy-smooth though she had to be in the heaviest throes of adolescence, and that shock of brilliant mauve hair carefully arranged in respectable traditional styles except when she wore it up in the simple ponytail of her childhood. But more than her hair had spoken of her not-quite submissive traits. There had been the fact that she alone had been suppressing her amusement of the situation, and her long slender hands were oddly bare without the new design signet ring the other Council Members sported. She had returned to wearing her mother's ring on a chain about her neck, at least for that meeting, and that small action spoke volumes to Juri.

Turning to Miki, Juri opened her mouth to speak, but instead slid to the floor slowly. "She's the Bride, yes. But she's more than that. Can't you see it?"

"No," Miki said. "I'm sorry, Juri, but I can't. I spent many years getting to know Sari, more than you spent with Adam, I think, despite how close you were. My Sari is dead. That woman in there is her shell."

Juri wanted to be angry with his purposefully blindness. He couldn't see the purpose and strength in that small figure? "So what next? What happens to Adam?"

"He broke the rules," Miki said. "He let Sari get wounded in a duel and did not draw blood to win the battle. Who knows what will happen next?"

Slowly turning away, Miki moved to the window. "I hope," he coughed, "I hope she is merciful. Our sins we paid for, but Adam, like the rest of those children, is primarily innocent. Utena visited each of us in her own way and performed her brand of punishment for our foolish actions of all those years ago. She and the Swords made us pay for our impertinence. She executed each of us, from Nanami's car 'accident' to the outright slaughter of Tsuwabuki in front of Sari's own eyes. If you consider it, Sari was only a baby in the ways of the world when it happened. She was forced to very rapidly grow up. Utena's laws have been loosened since then, but I have no idea what he'll decide in that room tonight. Akio is Utena's pet now, not his own man." He shrugged, the set of his shoulders was tight and his voice was strained. "Perhaps all will go well."

"Do you really believe that?"

Miki shook his head. "I think Akio already knows what the Swords want and hearing Adam's side of things won't change anything."

"Which means?"

Gazing out the window Miki settled his elbows on the windowsill and pointed to the stars. "It means that the 'morning star' himself might have to challenge Adam for Sari. If so he will lose. Akio is much older now, but since we were granted our freedom I have been watching him closely. He has not changed. He is still a warrior, though he's hiding it."

"I wonder if Touga and the others are also still wandering around," Juri mused.

Miki nodded. "I would assume so. They most likely are keeping to themselves and exploring how far we can get away from this campus in these strange forms. Not very far, but far enough, I suppose."

The early evening stars far away were jewels carelessly tossed in the dusty sky. Their cold twinkling reminded Juri of the eyes of the Council. "Not far enough," she repeated, thinking of those children now doomed to walk as they did. At least thanks to Adam's sacrifice the Black Roses had been set free of their eternal torment. She could hold that close.

Unconsciously, she shivered. What she wouldn't give to have Kozue's brash strength with her once more. She reached one finger forward into the sunset and pinpointed the pale glow of the star Polaris. It was so bright when she was alive, but here in this strange afterlife it was a mere speck of dim light.

"I'm worried, Juri." Miki took her hand, and clenched it tight between his own. "If they decide he's guilty of breaking the laws there's not telling what Utena will do to him. And we can't stop her this time…not without our full strength."

Juri pulled away. "We will do whatever necessary, Miki." Her eyes raked the hallway, seeing but not fully comprehending the darkness sliding over them. "He has done nothing except get further and further entangled in this web of lies and deceit. We will protect him."

"I know," Miki whispered. "I know. But all the promises and miracles of this world won't hold up in theirs. We can be so cold, so hard about things, once death descends. I didn't remember the meaning of warmth until Kozue died and was freed."

He dropped to his knees and flattened his palms on the floor. "You do know that right? She tried to protect me to the very end. She was always foolishly doing that, being loud and angry and fierce to protect me."

"I know," Juri kneeled beside him. "We all knew."

Miki's icy fingers entwined with hers and she lent him that small comfort. "They changed me. Kozue and Sari changed everything about me. When I first met Sari I was so angry at the world. Nothing was fair. It was me against the world. I couldn't afford to be clumsy or goofy or childish anymore. The warrior within must always be without; I had to train daily for fear of being defeated. But I lived for the day I would be bloody and beaten on the ground. Then I could go home in disgrace and return to the training I knew or follow a master who would protect and instruct. But I kept winning. It was like I was destined to never lose. Yes, I had the backing of Ohtori, but..."

Juri finished for him; "It wasn't enough."

The younger man raised his head to reveal tears sliding one by one silently down his face. "No, it wasn't."

"And when you and Mitsuru went into the woods that day-"

"I was glad. I thought I'd finally found peace. I thought the vision would provide me with a purpose… something that would teach me to be what my sister needed. I would grow and live and I would be strong."

Juri sighed. "You must have been so scared when the vision asked you to protect Sari instead."

Miki nodded. "I saw it as punishment. I couldn't rely on Tsuwabuki, he wasn't a warrior, just a kid." He blushed.

A loud crash from the Council room drew their attention. The two ghosts rushed into the room and found the occupants in sheer chaos. The table had been overturned and Makoto of all people was stabbing at Jitsu with a large broadsword. The Council was in uproar, only Adam, Sari, and Akio held any semblance of composure and even that was strained.

"Take her and leave," Akio muttered to Adam. "I'll deal with this chaos here."

Adam nodded once and gathered Sari in his arms, striding past Juri and Miki quickly. They shared a look and decided to split up. Miki would remain with Akio and Juri would follow the Victor and the Bride.

It was no surprise to her when she finally caught up with them that they were in their shared bedroom. Stepping back, Juri allowed herself to fade into the woodwork. She didn't like eavesdropping like this, but she had to be sure. She just had to be sure.

Adam was beyond frustrated. Sari had not packed a single bag!

A tear slipped down his face as he held her tightly to him. "Sari, please! We have to get out of here. I talked with your father this morning… he wants you to go too!"

Ignoring his words she pushed his hair off his face and brushed a stray lock of hair away from his eyes. "You cry? You cry for me? I don't understand."

Adam yanked away from her tired eyes and gentle touch. "No-you wouldn't understand, would you? All you understand is swords and blood and pain. What have they done to you, Sari? You used to be so bright and golden. Now you're just-- you're just dead inside! I remember when you were a little girl you used to cry when we'd find dead pigeons in the park. Now you think tears are for the weak."

Strangely affronted at his words, Sari grabbed his arm in a bruising grip. "Adam, of course I don't cry anymore. They are for the weak. They show the entire world your pain. Sorrow must be fierce and strong...just like existence itself. Or it's worth nothing. You live. You always live. You bend with the stronger winds and withstand the little ones. Don't you see that?"

"No. I don't. It doesn't have to be that way. It never had to be that way." Callused fingertips brushed her lips, and she shuddered, thinking of all the years that they had both wielded a sword. He was so strong, and she was so weak. Just the opposite of Akio and Utena… her parents. A tear slipped down her face and his thumb caught it. Slowly, as if in a dream, Sari stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his thumb, sucking it into her mouth and lightly scraping the pad of flesh with her teeth. She could taste the salty tang of her tear as her lips as she pulled away. A moment passed and Adam seemed to come to some decision. His lips were suddenly on her own- hard and bruising and searching for a response. Her tenderness answered his brutal anger. She knew instinctively that the angrier he grew, the gentler she'd be in return. So for the first time in her life, Sari gave up. And what a sweet surrender it was.

Slightly shocked at his actions, Adam traced her mouth with his own. She pulled away and crushed her lithe form to him in a fierce hug, deeply inhaling the scent of his shampoo. "Stay with me," she whispered against his neck.

Adam couldn't breath. After all this, after what she'd shown him and told him…she wanted him to remain with her in Ohtori? "Stay with you?"

Quiet breath tickled his ear, and she pulled his attention to the surrounding opulence of the Observatory. "Forever. Stay with me in Ohtori and be my prince. Ute…my parents can finally rest."

Shivering under the fire finally stoked in her eyes, the life she'd so carefully tried to hide with submissive actions and a bevy of formal honorifics, Adam tried desperately to calm his racing heart. She'd never felt so beautiful and thrilling before. Here was the woman he had been searching for in the little girl he knew. She held face like fine china, treating him like a tender thing to be cherished. But he pulled away in confused anger. "I can't."

She pursued him. "What? Why?"

"Don't." He stepped back and tossed her a look full of contempt. "I can't stay here now. Not after everything you've shown me. We both need to get the hell out of here, Sari! This place is killing you."

Tightening, she thrust her hand through her hair and glared at him. "Your words mean nothing. Why did you accept Tama's challenge for me, if once you've won you turn away?"

"I don't know, Sari. When I won that fight, I didn't know what was going on! I had been at Ohtori for ONE DAY. All I knew was that some guy was coming at me with a knife. I like living and he was serious. I couldn't sit there and let myself get stabbed."

Sari licked her lips and crossed her arms across her chest. "I understand that, believe me, I do. But Adam, why won't you stay with me? Don't you love me?" In that moment she looked both woman and child- a girl on the edge of bloom. Adam knew then that he loved her and hated her in that moment- he loved her for her intelligence and beauty… he hated her for those very same reasons. This airy creature of shadow and light was not the child he'd known- the girl whose laugh broke apart like scattered droplets of water. She was both his familiar and a stranger, standing there, yearning and frightened- trembling in the wake of their innermost storm of emotions.

He tilted his head back and nearly sobbed in frustration. "Of course I love you Sari Himmemiya! Do you honestly think I would have stayed in this weird place for more than a week if it hadn't been for you? Juri wanted me to come here. I did. But she escaped Ohtori and so must I! I can't stay here. This isn't my world, not even the country of my birth, and if I stay here there's nothing for me except going off to battles and risking my life on a daily basis all in the name of some fractured fairy tale. I'm an independent person; I can't be a prince for you! What if you-"

Without another word, she grasped Adam by his wrist, pulling him fully in to contact with her body. They were pressed together from chest to toe. She gazed at him with broken blue eyes, before closing them and biting down softly on his lower lip. His anger and confusion were as water, melting away. She tilted his face down to her own and kissed him for the first time without conflict between them. It was a gentle kiss, aching and begging and pleading for Adam to respond.

For three heartbreaking seconds, he didn't. He simply let her lips dance over his own, feeling their salty texture with his mouth, assuring himself of their hard reality. She was his, she loved him, and she would never abandon him. She was safe within the circle of his arms. Utena would get better, Sari and Akio would see to it. And then they'd be together, forever. When his heart began beating again, Sari cautiously fluttered her eyes closed and let her fingers curl in his rough shirt. The coarse fabric and gentle lips quickly warming on her own suddenly came crashing in. She began hiccuping and crying and gasping for breath beneath him.

Miki, her mind reminded her. If you let yourself fall like this he has no chance at rebirth. Utena told you what you needed to do. You love your mother, right? You trust her? Would she want this kind of reconciliation? She has suffered so much; they all have suffered so much! Shut up, she told herself fiercely. I can be both prince and princess at once. She has faith in me! But the reminder wasn't enough. Slowly she grew cold in Adam's arms. She made herself go rigid and distant, forced her rampaging breath and thudding heart to slow to a normal pace.

Feeling her stiffen, he frowned and looked at her with a dawning realization. "It's not enough, is it? I'm not enough for you; my LOVE isn't enough for you! You are bound and determined to kill yourself for your mother, for whatever lives inside her! Sari! What are you doing? Come with me! Don't stay here!"

Sari bowed her head in shame. She still wore Utena's signet ring-- like a good Bride she was allowing the darkness to seduce her once more. How weak she was. "I'm sorry, Adam."

He drew back, the passion in his eyes cooled to something infinitely more dark and dangerous. "I see. Well then, there's nothing much I can do, now is there?"

She shook her head, half expecting some further argument, some reasoning. Adam had never been one to give up easily. For a few moments it seemed as if he would indeed try fighting with her once more, but then he simply gave up. The aura of love and happiness faded; all that remained was his strong determination. "I love you, Sari, but I can't stay here and watch you destroy yourself. If you won't come with me, I suppose that is that."

She took a deep breath and then smiled tremulously. A moment later she strode to a crystal vase filled with the blood red roses of her dusky garden. With a soft flourish a fully formed bloom lay in the palm of her hand. She stalked towards him; the soft sobbing of wind outside the windows was the only sound in the still room.

"Take it," she said. "Take it and keep it safe. Plant the bud when you return to New York, these are my secret flowers, a bush will blossom no matter the hardship. When the first rose thrives, cut it and look inside the petals. What you find, keep with you always. If you're in trouble, call for me and I will come if I can."

Startled by the gift, Adam took it from her hand. "I-"

"GO!" she shouted suddenly, pushing past him. A loud buzzing filled the room and Adam felt a tremor of fear embrace him. Sari had lied; Utena and the Swords within her had not left Ohtori after all. Even now, she approached and she brought with her an icy wave of fear and hatred.

"Get out!" Sari cried. "I never want to see you in Ohtori again!"

Servants and blank-eyed students appeared as if drawn from the darkness itself. Adam found himself wanting to talk a little more, to apologize despite the specter of Utena's approach, but he didn't get the chance. Pale skinned fingers wrapped around his arms; strong hands pulled him back, insistently yanking him out the door as he struggled forward. "Wait!" he cried. "Wait! Sari, please!"

"Go!" she roared one final time.

The heavy doors slammed shut as she dropped to the floor.