Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Mend my Heart ❯ Conversations ( Chapter 13 )

"Ken!!" Ran shouted as he dashed into the room. He quickly surveyed the scene to figure out what was going on. Ken's hands were up holding his head, his features grimaced in pain. Kase was sitting at the edge of the bed trying to soothe the distraught goalie. His hands were trying to pry Ken's from his head. As he got closer he could tell that Ken was shaking, and his breathing was erratic. He glanced up at the heart monitor and saw how fast the boy's heart was beating. Hurriedly, he pushed Kase back and took up position next to the youth.

"Ken, you have to calm down! Breathe!" Ran knew nothing was getting through to the brunette at the moment. Grabbing hold of Ken's shoulders he gave him one hard shake and commanded, "Hidaka, Look at me!" After a heartbreaking moment, painfilled aquamarine gems cracked open. "You need to take deep breaths. Like this." And Ran slowly took in a lung full of air and carefully released it. At the next intake, Ken tried to follow.

They took a few breaths together and Ken gradually began to calm. Offering a small smile, Ran continued to encourage, "Good. You’re doing great, Ken-san. Keep breathing and you’ll be through this in no time." The grip Ken had on his head relaxed and soon dropped his hands down into his lap. The brunette sank back into the bed, his eyes half lidded from exhaustion but never leaving the redhead’s face. "That’s it. Just rest now, Ken-san. And don’t worry I’ll be right here the whole time." Giving a wan flicker of a grin, the goalie closed his eyes.

Kase who had been pacing impatiently in the background moved to sit opposite Ran on the bed. "Thank Kami. I thought I was going to loose you all over again." He mumbled as he scooped up one of Ken’s hands. The blue-green seas fluttered open once more to look at his lifelong friend. 

"What happened?" The deep intimidating voice of the redhead startled the J-league manager.

Kase met his glare with one of his own. "I don’t have to answer to you."

"When it comes to Ken-san’s wellbeing, you most certainly do."

"Look, moneygrubber,” he shot the other man look that revealed his loathing of the scarlet haired man, “don't go playing the hero because your act won't work with me. I've been by Ken's side for years before you decided to show up, I…"

"Oh you've done a bang up job so far.” Ran snapped back.  “Where were you when he needed you?"

Those words stung the angered brunette more than Ran could have ever hoped for. However it only infuriated the man further.  Dropping Ken’s hand, Kase leapt to his feet slowly edging his way around the bed.  "Bastard! You have no right to judge me! You have no idea what's going on…"

"So then why don't you tell me,” Ran mirrored his movement, “that way I can understand why you would abandon your best friend like that?"

"I didn't abandon him! I had no choice!"

"No choice? So you left him alone?"

"It was the only way to save him!"

"Save him?! You condemned him to a living hell!"

"I already told you I had NO CHOICE!"  They were in each other’s faces now.

"That's Bullshit! You always have a choice!"

"If I had come…. They… NO! I don't have to answer to you. You're just a nobody. You'd never understand what we've gone through."

"You're not the only ones to suffer. Don't mock my pain. I'd probably understand more than you know."

"Don't flatter yourself. This has nothing to do with you. This is between him and me. We have to deal with this ourselves."

"What? Deal with what? What happened that night? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!" Kase answered a little too quickly. But before Ran could press the issue a fist came flying toward him. Instinct took over and he dodged to the side and answered with a punch to the gut. He heard the satisfying sound of the responding grunt as he made contact. Kase stumbled back, growled and then lunged for the redhead once more. The pair grappled for an indeterminate amount of time before a smaller figure tried to wedge itself between them.

"Stop it! Stop it right now!" Omi shouted. Slowly he managed to pry the two apart. When they stilled enough, he added softly, "You're only upsetting Ken-kun." Guiltily they stole a glance at the core of their argument and immediately backed down.

Ken had tried futilely to stop them, but his voice was too weak to be heard over their anger. Desperately, he had tried to get out of bed to break them up. But his body lacked the energy to hold itself up unaided and all he did was slump to the floor. This only added to his feeling of inadequacy that he abruptly gave in to. Caught up in his own despair he clung to the side of the bed and wept. Their biting words and his own sense of helplessness only drove him further into the well of melancholy.  Neither had noticed him due to their heated debate.  And now both felt the sting of shame for it.

Once he knew that they were finished for the moment, Omi turned to help the former goalie back into his bed. "Come on, Ken-kun let's get you back in bed." Absently, Ken nodded his compliance and allowed the younger teen to pull him up. Ran had come up on Ken's other side when he realized what had happened.  Ken automatically curled up on his side as best he could in the uncomfortable bed.  He closed his eyes and cut off the world around him.  Right then he just wanted to be alone but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen for a long time.

As soon as Ken was resituated, the redhead uttered a sullen apology. Kase came up opposite the pair and watched them until they were done, then questioned, "And who might you be?"

"Omi Tsukiyono,” the blonde answered plainly. 

"And why are you here?"

Omi frowned at the man’s snippy tone but answered anyway.  "I'm a friend of Aya's and I want to help Ken-kun too."

"Another moneygrubber."  Kase threw up his hands and stepped away in annoyace.

Ignoring the comment, Ran leaned over to the smaller blonde. "I thought you said you weren't going to come until this afternoon."

Blushing slightly, the genki answered, “I heard someone scream over the phone and you left it on when you helped Ken.  I was afraid something like this would happen so I rushed over.”

Ran had totally forgotten about his phone and how their conversation was abruptly cut short.  For once he was grateful for the little shop’s close proximity as well as the kid’s quick thinking.  And for some reason he didn’t think this would be the last time he felt that way.  “Thanks.”

“This is ridiculous!”  The J-league manager came stomping back toward them looking pointedly at Omi.  “I don’t even care who you are, but I want you out.  And you,” he jabbed a finger at Aya, “I don’t know who appointed you Ken’s guardian but I’m here now so get the hell out.  You’re not needed here anymore.”

Violet eyes narrowed, he managed to ground out, “I already told you I’m not leaving unless Ken wants me to.”

“I don’t care.  It’s obvious Ken isn’t fit enough to make that decision.”

“He seems perfectly capable to me.”

Omi spared a glance at the figure curled up on the bed and noticed how the brunette tried to scrunch up tighter and the hand that tried to block out their bickering.  “Stop it.  This isn’t helping.”

On the heels of the young blonde’s sharp reprimand, a new voice entered the fray. “What is going on in here?”  Three heads snapped to see Doctor Makoto bounding into the room, two orderlies waited just outside the doorway.  “First I get a call telling me that Hidaka-san is having an anxiety attack which Fujimiya-san was able to handle.  The next thing I know is that people down that hall can hear yelling and a fight breaks out.  Of the three perfectly healthy people here only one of you seems to have any sense.”  He points to Omi.  “Now if you don’t stop this nonsense immediately, I’ll ban the lot of you from visiting until Hidaka-san’s release.  Got that?”

Properly chastised, the trio drops their heads in submittal.  “Good.  Now someone tell me how all this started.”  It wasn’t a question, it was an order.  Omi’s face remained blank.  Ran’s glare automatically accused the other brunette.  Kase just looked out the window with arms folded across his chest.  “Someone better start talking or I’ll get you all admitted to my care so I can torture the information out of you.”

Annoyed, Kase finally spoke up.  “Nothing happened.  We were just talking.”

“Talking?” Ran barked.  Makoto’s hand shot up to silence him.

“Tell me exactly what you were discussing.  I need to know.”

Kase regarded the older man trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.  “We were just talking.  It was nothing really.”

“It had to be something.”  Everyone knew that something more had had to gone on and so Makoto resolved to hold the stand off until he got the answer he was looking for.  Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait that long.

“He asked me what I remembered.”  They all turned to see Ken lying on the bed looking blankly up at the ceiling, one arm draped over his forehead.  The moment the doctor entered his room, Ken relaxed a little.  He knew that with such authority their arguing would come to an end, at least for the moment.  Of course he was still exhausted by the whole experience but he was tired of listening to them shout back and forth.  So he decided if they weren’t going to give the answer then he would.

“Really?  Why?” Omi’s curiosity got the better of him and he asked the question that everyone wanted to know.

“Because I…..”  For that moment, the tall brunette looked lost.  And it was obvious that it was an emotion he didn’t experience that often.  Frustration took over and he promptly turned from them unable and unwilling to voice his answer. 

Ken sighed loudly and finished what his best friend couldn’t, “Because even he doesn’t know what happened that night.”

“What?” A chorus of disbelief.

“Weren’t you with him after the game?” Ran questioned.

“I was,” Kase snapped back quickly then stumbled over his words.  “But… we… had an argument.  I went… to change.  When I came back… he was gone.  So I just left for the party.  We found out later he was in an accident.”

Ran looked at Omi’s crestfallen face and asked, “Now what do we do?”  The blonde just shrugged.

Makoto listened to them at first but then his mind started putting some things together.  “Hidaka-san, since you woke up, you have had other anxiety attacks as well, correct?”  Ken nodded.  “Did you suffer from them prior to the accident?”

Ken shook his head.  Kase answered, “Not really.  He was in perfect health before.”

The answer to his next question though would be critical to Ken’s recovery.  “When you’ve had these attacks, were you discussing the events that lead up to your accident?”

Ken dropped his gaze from the ceiling to look at the doctor, a frown on his face. “Yes.”

“I see.”

“What is it Sensei?” The youngest of the group inquired.

“It appears Hidaka-san has a mental block.  He must have experienced something very traumatic that his mind has constructed a sort of barrier.  Attempting to recall those events brings on one of these panic spells.”

Curious now even Kase asked, “So what does this mean?”

Shrugging, Makoto stated simply, “It means I’m going to have to recommend Hidaka-san see a psychiatrist.”

“What?” Ken sat up in his bed.  “I don’t want to see a shrink!”

None too sympathetically, the older man regarded his patient, “Nevertheless, I think it for the best.  Or else triggers may take you off guard and you’ll suffer from these attacks for the rest of your life.”

“Don’t worry Ken-kun, we’ll help you through this.”  Omi placed a supportive hand on the older boy’s shoulder.

Makoto continued, “These attacks seem to drain you quite a lot.  I must reiterate my earlier suggestion.  Until you can handle them on your own, you need to have someone close to you at all times.  Inform me of who will be helping you once you are out of the Hospital so that I can go over how best to help you through these spells.  Unless, of course, Fujimiya-san is with you.  He seemed to know exactly what to do.”  He nodded at Ran then over to Omi.  “Do you think you can keep these two in line?”

Omi quickly glanced between the two before answering.  “I think so.”

“Good.  Hidaka-san, get some rest.  I’ll be back once more tonight to check up on you.  In the mean time I’m going to contact a few people that I think would be best to help you.”

Ken looked sullen.  Ran muttered a soft, “Thank you Makoto-sensei,” before the elderly man left taking his orderlies in tow. 

For long minutes none of the four occupants spoke.  The world seemed to be spiraling into a chaotic jumble for the young man on the bed and he was now way past dizzy to downright seasick.  Not really addressing anyone specifically, he whispered, “I want to go home.”

Ran was torn.  He had the sudden urge to hug the brunette close and tell him everything was alright, even if he had no idea how.  But all he could do was watch as Kase knelt down next to the bed and scooped up one of Ken’s hands effectively drawing the younger man’s gaze.  “I know you do, but…. Not yet.”

Confused, hurt-filled eyes peer down at the fellow J-leaguer.  “What are you saying?”

Clearing his throat, Kase said more solidly, “You can’t come home yet.”

“You mean not until after they release me, right?”  Ken hoped that he understood correctly.  Unfortunately, he was utterly wrong.

“No Kenken.”  The brown-eyed man’s voice was soft.  “I can’t bring you home yet.  Not for a while.”

“Why not?  Don’t you want me back?”  No one could mistake the hurt on Ken’s face or in his tone.

“Of course I do.”  Kase tried to placate his friend but even now a hint of his irritation could be heard.  “But it’s not safe enough for you right now.  It’s best you stay here as long as you can.  I’ll take you home the moment I’m able.”

Ken argued.  “But I don’t want to stay here.  I’ve only been awake for a day and I already hate this place.  I want to go home.”

“I told you, not now.”  The edge in his tone became sharper.  “I’ll find you a place to stay, like a clinic or something.”

“A clinic?!  How dare you pawn me off on someone else!”

“It’s not like that!”  Kase stood up abruptly dropping Ken’s hand.  “Gah!  Look, I’m not going to argue with you right now.  I’ve had enough of this crap already.”  He glanced at his watch. “I’m sorry but I have to go.  I’m already late for a meeting.  We’ll finish this later.”

“And that’s it?  You’re just going to leave me here?”

“Not now, Ken,” he warned.  “I’ve already got to figure out an excuse they’ll buy.  No one even knows I’m here.  But I had to come and see you when they told me you were awake.”

“You haven’t told anyone else?”

“No.  And no one else can know.  At least not yet. Not until I figure some things out first.”  Kase glared at the two strangers – in his eyes – and ground out.  “Do you understand me?  No one else must know that Ken’s awake.”

Omi blurted out, “There’s one other that knows.”

At this point the manager was too flustered to worry about it.  “Fine. Whatever.  No one else.  I’ll deal with this later.  I’ve got to go.”  He headed for the door.

“Why?”  Ran asked sharply, before Kase could leave, stopping the man in his tracks.  “Why can’t anyone else know?  What is it you’re not telling us?”

He didn’t bother to turn around to address them.  “I can’t tell you.  Remember, I said that you have no idea what you’re getting into.  I gave you the chance to get out.  Now it’s too late.  But if I say anything more right now, you’re lives aren’t worth shit.  Just leave it at that.  I’ll come back as soon as I can Ken.  Later.”  Then he walked out.

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