Trigun Fan Fiction ❯ A Whisper in Darkness ❯ A Whisper in Darkness ( One-Shot )

This is what happens when you mix together two authors with a yen for something plotless and add a late-night Friday chat.

Jaina: It's all Arafel's fault! Really not mine this time!

Arafel: She encouraged me to do this, the blame is shared.

Meryl told herself that it was out of habit that she slipped out of her bed to go check on Vash long after they'd both gone to sleep. It was silly to be worried about him after the day's events. Even though the day had started with a terrifying attempt on Vash's life, it had ended with him emerging from the pit of despair that had kept her and Milly walking on eggshells. For the first time in weeks, she actually felt hope that things might be all right after all. Still, she continued down the hall towards Vash's room.

It was like…like work. Since they'd arrived in this little nowhere, Meryl had made taking care of Vash her most important task. In her working career, she'd always made a point of doing a damn good job on anything to which she was assigned. It was difficult to shift her focus after concentrating on something for so long, that was all. That had to be why she held her breath as she tiptoed into his darkened room, trying not to wake him as she squinted for a glimpse of his sleeping form to reassure her.

Tonight was different from all the other nights she had crept down the hall to look in on her charge. Meryl wasn't sure she understood all of what had happened that afternoon, and she probably never would. All she knew was that she had finally found the words to defend Vash and the courage to stare down a man who was going to shoot him, and the thought of Vash lying dead on the sand was somehow worse than the thought of the same happening to her. No one had been hurt - and at the end of it all, once the townspeople had cleared off and the girls had sliced through the ropes binding Vash, he was a changed man.

And then… A faint blush stained her cheeks at the memory. Then, with no warning at all, Vash had bounded up from the sand with dawn breaking on his face and hugged her. Not a little one, either. It was a heartfelt snuggle into her neck followed by a backbreaking bear hug. Meryl had smacked him a good one for the second half of the embrace, but the first part had been just fine as far as she was concerned. More than fine, actually.

Vash had never touched her with any kind of affection before. He had thrown her off a few times when she had tried to stop him or restrain him in some way, and that hardly compared to what had happened that afternoon. It was enough to get her thinking - thinking that maybe she could tell him what she was feeling someday, once the whole mess with Knives had come to a conclusion. And damn but he had been nice to hug. She hadn't quite expected that.

Meryl stepped into Vash's room hesitantly, not wanting to disturb him or to have to stammer out a plausible explanation for why she was sneaking in. The third moon had nearly set, and for the next few hours, none of the satellites that circled their dusty planet would glow in the sky. There was still enough moonlight coming in at the window for her to see that Vash was sleeping soundly. Meryl's lips curved in a small smile as she watched him. Before, it had been easy to sense his pain when he slept. He'd held himself rigidly, unable to give himself a moment of solace even when he was resting. Tonight Vash was sprawled on his side, one arm grasping the pillow that his cheek rested on. He was facing her, but his eyes remained shut, his breathing deep and even. Meryl wasn't sure when she'd last seen him look so peaceful.

Uncertainty filled her as she watched him. He was resting comfortably. Any danger that threatened him in the form of the townspeople or his own mind had gone away. Vash didn't need her with him any more. Who do you really want to console, Meryl? Vash or yourself?

The relief that Meryl had felt since Vash had given her an honest smile for the first time in weeks ebbed as she considered what lay before him. She'd be lying to herself if she pretended that the danger gone. Now that he'd stopped teetering on the edge of sanity, Vash had one last task to accomplish and one more person to face. Knives. The word sounded so harsh, even in her mind. It didn't seem like a name that should belong to a member of Vash's family. This was the man that Vash would have to deal with. Vash would leave her to confront his brother, and for once she knew with cold certainty that she could not follow.

Knowing that he was going to leave didn't stop Meryl from wishing that he wouldn't. Maybe Knives would kill Vash, out there in the unknown. Maybe Vash would defeat his brother and choose not to return, leaving her in uncertainty the way he had done after Augusta. It was all the more reason for her to sit in the dwindling moonlight to study his scruffy, beautiful face and commit every contour and line to memory.

Meryl brushed a stray lock of hair away from Vash's face, moving delicately so she wouldn't wake him up. His hair was so soft, faint gold in the last light, and she let her fingers move farther into his unruly mop, taking a liberty she wouldn't have dared if it wasn't Vash's last certain night with them. I might not get another chance to touch you, to see you, she thought, extending her feather-light caress down to his cheek. Maybe never again.

The light was almost gone, giving the scene a dreamy unreality. Vash muttered a little, shifting in his sleep, and Meryl jerked her hand back. Damn it. I almost got caught. She almost got up to scurry back to her room before Vash could wake up completely, but he settled down so that he was more on his back and didn't move again. His face was in profile against deepening shadows, mouth slightly open.

What if... what if.... oh, no. Meryl leaned closer to Vash, a terrible but highly appealing idea spilling into her head, prompted by the sight of the curve of his lips in the dark. She wanted to know, just once before he left, just once before he might pass out of her life forever, what those lips would feel like pressed against hers. It was stupid, and a complete invasion of Vash's personal space and his privacy... but here in the warm dark, it felt like she was capable of anything.

The thought was overwhelming and all-consuming. Meryl struggled against it, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more her mind supplied her with tantalizing images of how it would feel and how much she would like to find out. Hardly believing that she dared, or that she was even considering it, Meryl leaned over and touched her lips to Vash's, finding him completely by feel in the now-moonless night.

The kiss was as light as it could possibly be and still be called a kiss, but that didn't stop her lips from tingling at the contact. His lips were warm and soft, not chapped and worn like much of the rest of his body. His mouth fit against hers just so, as if it had been waiting for her all this time. Meryl chastised herself for the whimsical thought, but she remained where she was, savoring the moment. A kiss stolen in the night could hardly be ranked as a milestone in anyone's life, but she knew she would always remember this. She held the kiss for a few seconds longer before exhaling a quiet breath, ready to pull back and slip away before she pushed her luck too far.

Meryl was grateful that Vash hadn't awakened and thus nearly jumped out of her skin when she felt his lips move to press against hers, kissing her back. A sharp, sudden tremor went through her entire body as she held back a squeak and prepared to jump away and babble apologies. Before she could, she felt his arm brush against her as he reached a hand up to cup her cheek. The caress and the kiss were as light and tentative as hers had been, but he wasn't pulling away and he clearly wasn't asleep. After a few more seconds of stunned stillness, Meryl summoned the will to kiss him back. The strangeness of the situation made everything seem unreal, even more so when he gently brought her down against him.

I cannot believe this is happening. Meryl bent down over Vash, her entire being focused on the soft motion of his mouth on hers. Her balance faltered as Vash's arm tightened around her back, and she rested her weight on the edge of the bed, one knee pressed into the mattress. The light sweep of Vash's tongue against her lower lip distracted her completely from keeping her balance, and somehow Meryl suspected that he knew what effect he was having - he was already moving over and taking her with him. A furious blush rose to her face as she realized that she'd gone from stealing an innocent kiss to lying in bed with a man she desired deeply. But it felt so good, so right...

Vash's body was warm and solid against hers, and his hands moved lower on her back to hold her tight against him. Meryl murmured softly into his mouth, and a shiver ran through her at his answering purr. She nipped at his lips, teasing and tasting, exploring the new sensation of kissing him. Vash's mouth opened under hers, and a twist of heat raced through her as the tips of their tongues brushed. Meryl's knees went to water and she made an approving noise deep in her throat, and Vash responded by deepening the kiss even further.

She was lying on top of him now, her breasts pressed against his chest, so Meryl slid her arms around his shoulders to bring them even closer. She could feel her heart rate pick up as their tongues moved against each other, tasting and caressing. She let one of her hands run through his hair as both of his roamed over her back in a gentle massage. All her senses were filled with Vash, and the feeling was frightening. This was too close to being exactly what she'd wanted with him. It felt as if she might wake up any second, alone in her room.

Her nervousness increased sharply when Vash pulled away, rolling her gently to the side. She waited for him to say something, but instead, he tugged at the top sheet and blanket. After a moment, Meryl understood and lifted herself up so that he could pull them from beneath her. Once he'd settled things so that they were both under the covers, Vash groped blindly for her hand, and she let him bring her into his embrace once more. Her lips found his again, but for a long moment they simply lay together, sharing breath and closeness in the dark.

They were both trembling. Meryl felt him shake when she reached out to find him, her fingertips tracing the curve of his jaw. Vash began to breathe a word that might have been her name, but she put her hand over his mouth, silencing him. No words, Meryl wished him strongly, shuddering when he nibbled at her fingers. No words, because that will make this all real. Maybe it was for the best, to say what they needed to say to one another in the warmth of one another's bodies. The inevitable confrontation hung over both of them like a shroud, gagging them both for speech... but the way Vash's hands moved over her told a different truth.

Meryl let her fingers drift down from Vash's face and over his throat, noticing for the first time that his chest was bare. She flattened her hand against his chest, carefully testing where she could touch and where she couldn't. The newer scars were probably too sensitive, but the older ones... Her fingers brushed along ridged scar tissue, moving along the lines of the twisted maps of his history, and Vash let his breath out in a long exhale. Whether it was because it felt good or because he realized that she wasn't afraid of him or the way he looked after all, Meryl didn't know.

She let her touch wander around to his back and her hand slid down his spine to rest just above his ass. He made a soft sound in the back of his throat and moved into her touch, encouraging her to continue, and in the end she couldn't resist a squeeze as she held back a giggle. Vash scooted even closer, moving against her, and she let out a silent puff of air when she felt something that promised more than silent kisses. Her face heated up as she felt Vash's arousal against her thigh through his pajama bottoms, and she was glad they were already lying down for fear that the sudden dizziness might have forced her off her feet anyway.

Meryl closed her eyes, images swimming through her mind as Vash's hands traveled down her body. Was this something she really wanted? It might be their only night together…but it might be their only night together. She envisioned them moving together, Vash moving inside her. The tempting image flew from her mind when she felt Vash's lips move to her neck, suckling gently. Meryl let out a soft moan despite herself and knew that yes, she did want this. Whatever they could give each other tonight would have to be enough.

The slight pressure of long fingers on her upper thigh reminded her in a rush of heat that her shirt hardly left anything to the imagination. Meryl was glad that the dark hid the ensuing blush, and she was very aware that not much more than thin cotton was separating them. Vash curled his fingers around the bottom of her shirt and lifted it upwards, letting in a rush of warm air on her belly. The shirt refused to budge beyond a certain point thanks to the buttons, and Vash growled in frustration.

Holding in a laugh, Meryl found his hands and guided them up to her collar. She fitted his fingertips around the top button and was rewarded with a noise from Vash that could be translated as okay, I get it. The laugh bubbled dangerously close in Meryl's throat again when she thought about how glad she was that she didn't wear a bra to bed. Vash might be the quickest draw on the planet but she had a feeling that undoing bras in the dark would probably be beyond him. He wasn't having trouble with her shirt, though.

The amusement dissolved into a gasp as Vash finished with the buttons and fit his hand around one breast. Meryl let out a shaky sigh and closed her eyes. His fingers were gentle and cautious, and she felt her nipple stiffen under his exploratory touch. She became aware that Vash was pushing her down onto her back, and his mouth was busy at her neck again while he teased her with the ball of his thumb.

Warm breath moved from her throat downwards, his lips tickling her sensitive skin, and Meryl was unable to stifle a soft moan as his mouth closed over the nipple he'd been touching. Vash sucked at it, rolling his tongue around the peak. As if in answer to the barely-audible sounds she made, he shifted, nuzzling her other breast before he slipped his lips over it. His good hand moved up to the abandoned breast, squeezing gently and stroking her skin.

Meryl shifted restlessly beneath him. The temperature in the room seemed to have risen drastically, but she only wanted to be closer. She put her arms around him, rubbing his neck with her fingertips, urging him on as she felt him sigh beneath her touch.

Vash lay full-length on top of her, and it only took a small movement for her to shift her legs so that he lay between them. Without consciously considering her actions, she lifted her hips, rubbing against Vash and giving delicious pressure to the spot that had begun to burn with the need. Vash stiffened in surprise, ceasing his motions, and she took the opportunity to push him onto his side, shrugging off her shirt as they went. Wriggling down so she could reach, cursing their difference in height all the while, Meryl kissed his chest and let her fingertips trace over the hard muscles of his stomach and then lower to the waistband of his pants.

Slowly, unsure of what would give him the most pleasure, Meryl brushed her fingers over the bulge in his pants, a ghost of a touch. The little hitching breath he gave encouraged her to give him a firmer stroke. She smiled with some amount of pride at the quiet growl that seemed to emanate from the back of his throat. Nipping at the skin on his neck, she carefully slipped her hand into the front of his pants.

The strangled moan Vash made as her fingers closed around his erection was all the reinforcement Meryl needed. The waistband of his pajamas restricted her angle of attack, but she was able to press the heel of her palm against the head of his penis while she grasped the rest of the shaft. A very pleased grin spread over Meryl's face as she took stock of how Vash sized up compared to other men she had been with. His length was certainly... proportional. A needy whimper from Vash encouraged her to continue her explorations, and she slid her hand further down to find the rest of him.

The pants had to go. Meryl slid her hands around to his hips and hooked the elastic under her thumbs. She pulled gently at the fabric and lifted it up and away so that it didn't catch on anything vital. Vash seemed to agree with her idea, and she suddenly found another pair of hands helping her to take the worn pajamas off. With the pants gone, Meryl was free to press herself against him, skin to skin, and she reveled in the heat of his naked body. Vash's length burned against her, and she reluctantly separated herself from him to touch him once more. The thought of Vash, his head thrown back in orgasm, sent hot shivers through her and Meryl licked her lips in anticipation.

He was moving almost unconsciously, grinding his hips against the steady motion of her hand. Meryl brought some of the wetness gathering at the tip of his penis down to the place where the head met the shaft and stroked firmly with her thumb. Vash's breathing grew more labored and she heard him moan softly with every motion. She quickened her pace, resisting the urge to run her tongue along his length and really give him something to yell about.

But tonight... she didn't want tonight to end that way. Instead, she eased up on her motions, stroking his belly instead as she waited for his breathing to slow. Vash caught her hand in his and brought it up to his mouth so he could kiss the back of her hand. She started to chuckle, but the sound was cut off when he abruptly pressed her hand to the pillow behind her head, rolling her onto her back. Before she could blink, Vash's mouth slid down her neck, and he paused briefly to nibble at her breasts before continuing to her stomach. Any ticklish feelings were immediately quashed when Vash reached between her legs, touching her through the useless cotton of her panties.

Meryl was sure he could feel through the material how wet she already was. This was confirmed when he wasted barely a moment, immediately grasping the elastic and sliding her panties down her legs. He tossed them somewhere over his shoulder. Meryl didn't particularly care; it seemed that nothing existed outside of this bed, outside the warm circle of Vash's arms. When he returned to her, she hugged him close and kissed him, delving deeply into his mouth, reveling in the power of the moment. For the time being Vash was hers and she was his, and nobody and nothing else mattered. Hands roved as they kissed, feeling and teasing, pressing against one another tightly.

After a short time the growing need in between her legs overshadowed Meryl's desire for closeness. Smiling impishly, though he couldn't see it, she rolled Vash onto his back. Pushing herself onto her knees, she climbed on top of him, straddling his hips. The feeling of him lying beneath her, totally under her power, was intoxicating. Vash reached between her legs to touch her and she breathed something between a sigh and a moan. Not wanting to wait any longer, she tried to lift herself up to take him inside, and found to her surprise that she couldn't move an inch.

Vash's left hand was firm on her hip, keeping her in place so that Meryl had no choice but to stay where she was. The feeling of power she had over him quickly gave way to an exposed vulnerability. Her legs were spread over him, denying him no measure of access, and from the slow and lazy motion of Vash's fingers between her legs, she knew he was aware of that. Meryl gritted her teeth and tried to control the moans gathering in her throat.

Probing fingertips parted her folds, and Meryl was unable to suppress a loud and shuddering sigh when Vash found the spot he was looking for. Her arms began to tremble under her weight, but Vash didn't let her hips move at all. He brought some of the moisture between her legs up over the center of her pleasure and began to stroke with more pressure, circling the area with two fingertips. Meryl moaned imploringly, the need between her legs building further with every motion. His touch was delicate and careful, and she bit her lip hard against a loud cry when he caught her swollen flesh between thumb and forefinger to work it back and forth.

Her breath started to come faster, and before long, Meryl was panting hard and straining against Vash's teasing hand. She still couldn't move, but she found she could rock her hips a little, and the wonderful frustration of needing more and not being able to get it was driving her crazy. She sobbed, dropping her head down to Vash's shoulder, and she heard him groan in response. His fingers pressed harder into her, sliding over her in earnest.

Heat was spreading down her legs, and Meryl squinched her eyes shut as she felt the muscles in her belly begin to flutter. She bit at Vash's neck, and she heard his breath hiss through his teeth. Just a little more... please... The grip on her hips suddenly relaxed, and Meryl cried out as she was finally freed to move her hips against his hand as hard as she wanted. Her control faded completely in the rush of heat cascading through her groin, and Meryl felt herself dissolve into orgasm, her inner muscles clutching at emptiness as Vash's touch brought her to the peak.

Vash's arms went around Meryl, catching her as she collapsed in his arms. She clutched at him as her body relaxed against him, her mind fuzzy in the aftermath of orgasm. He stroked her back and shoulders, surrounding her with warmth as she recovered. They lay together that way for a long while, and Meryl tried commit every detail of what it felt like to memory. His breathing was deep and even, a reassuring sound in the darkness. She pondered breaking the silence to ask him what he felt, but she was too afraid of shattering the moment.

After who-knew-how-long, Meryl shifted position to ease the feeling of pins and needles in one leg and realized exactly what he must be feeling when she brushed against his lingering erection. The poor man was being so patient and he hadn't even had the chance to take his own pleasure yet. She closed her eyes briefly, an involuntary purr growing in the back of her throat at what he'd been able to do to her. Still, it wasn't fair for her to be the only one who had been satisfied, and she had yet to feel Vash inside of her. It was something a large part of her desperately wanted to know before he left, and they might never have the chance again.

Meryl nibbled on Vash's throat, provoking a groan from him before she rolled herself out of her languorous pose. Reaching down to gauge the appropriate distance, she brushed her fingers against his penis and felt an answering thrill shoot straight to her core. A wicked smile spread over Meryl's lips. Vash was blindly unaware of the revenge she had in mind, and that was just fine by her.

Meryl straddled his hips once more, bracing herself with one hand while lifting his shaft up to just touch against her. A deep groan from Vash indicated how much he wished that she would continue, but she held him so that the tip of him just brushed her entrance - enough for him to feel how ready she was. He pushed against her, and she cocked her hips so he slid against her without entering. Meryl rubbed him against her, raising and lowering her hips, until Vash was slick with her wetness and still very unsatisfied. A strangled gasp emanated from his throat, prompting a chuckle. His hips jerked upwards - perhaps she had just gotten lost? - and she returned for a brief moment, just long enough for him to feel her nearness, before pulling away once more. Vash whimpered, and Meryl didn't have to be an expert in non-verbal communication to interpret the sound as "You are evil."

Her laugh could easily be understood as "Turnabout is fair play."

Meryl leaned forward on her elbows to kiss Vash, amazed at how ardently he responded when she knew that other parts of him were crying for attention. She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd finally just rolled her over and taken her. In truth, it might have been fun, but she was tired of playing. Slowly, wanting the feeling to last this time, she moved back on him, guided him to the right spot with her hands, and sank back on him, letting him slide into her ever so slowly.

Soft, pleading gasps followed her progress down. Meryl bit her lip, thrusting her hips against him a little at a time, giving her body time to adjust to Vash's length. Vash's breath was harsh and irregular, and she wondered how long it had been for him. A little voice in the back of her head reminded Meryl that she herself hadn't been interested in anyone since she'd been assigned to Vash. Well, we're taking care of that now, aren't we, she thought.

Meryl settled herself on his hips and remained motionless for a moment, making sure that she was ready for him. There was no question that Vash was ready for her - his hips lifted under her, trying to move into her even as she pinned him to the bed with her weight. Meryl shifted forward and placed her hands just above his shoulders, lifting her hips for another stroke. She leaned down and found Vash's lips in the dark, and the two of them kissed while Meryl established a slow and steady rhythm. Before long, the sweet pressure began to build up between her legs again, and it excited her even more to realize that this time they were working for it together.

Vash's heat filled her and touched all the right places inside. A whimper escaped her lips as her body began to scream at her for more speed, more friction. His answering cry filled her ears, and Meryl suddenly felt his hands come up to clasp her hips. His fingers dug into her, encouraging her to move, and Meryl closed her eyes at the shock of excitement it brought. That's it, she thought, following the pace his hands were setting. Show me. Show me what you want…

Meryl shifted all her weight forward onto her arms, letting Vash work her on him, leaning down to put her lips against his throat. His head was thrown back, and the sounds of his pleasure vibrated against her mouth. The muscles surrounding him were hot and loose, and all she could feel was Vash moving with her and inside of her. Meryl rocked her hips with his beat, wanting to hear him, feel him, taste him all over her. It seemed like she had been waiting forever for this perfect union, no matter what Vash really was. It didn't matter. She loved him, desperately and absolutely, and if this was the only language that they had, then she would have to make sure he understood in this one unreal moment.

Meryl tried to deepen their thrusts even as Vash increased their pace. The tiny portion of her mind that was still capable of thinking coherently didn't want this feeling to ever end, though her need for release built with every stroke. As long as he was with her, inside her, she could keep him safe. Make him happy.

She moved to kiss him again, but a sudden series of involuntary whimpers leading to gasps impeded her progress. There it was again - the delicious tightening of the muscles in her lower belly. Her back stiffened as she tried to stave it off and let the moment continue, but Vash's unrelenting motions just pushed her closer to the edge. A thrust, and another, and she froze completely, mouth open in a silent cry as she convulsed around him, all sensation rushing to where they touched and leaving her lightheaded with pleasure.

The fingers still gripping her hips flexed with an almost painful force, and Meryl felt Vash writhing underneath her as she rode out the last shocks of her orgasm. His motion inside her was almost frictionless, and his limited thrusts came short and fast and shallow. Meryl ground her hips hard against him, willing him to lose control, wanting to hear him as he climaxed. Vash's breathing was harsh and guttural, and he began to shake as she continued to work on top of him.

A sudden tightening of his grip was Meryl's only warning as Vash lost all control. A harsh moan tore from his throat as he thrust wildly, giving no thought to gentleness as he pumped into her again and again. Vash arched into her and froze for one long instant, issuing one long, low cry as he spasmed inside her. His last deep, desperate thrust was almost painful, but then he relaxed all at once and went limp, still breathing hard. Meryl followed him down to put her head on his chest. Vash's heart beat quickly, and he shivered under her in the tiny shocks of afterglow.

It was difficult to move through the post-orgasmic languor, but when she felt Vash begin to go soft within her, Meryl lifted herself away and resettled herself next to him. Vash's arm curled protectively around her back, and Meryl rested her head on his shoulder, feeling only his warmth next to her and not the rough patches of scar. Her hand moved in idle patterns on his chest, memorizing him with touch this time, never wanting to forget this moment if she should never see him again.

Vash seemed to be doing the same, because his light touch was exploring the lines of her face, gently tracing her cheekbones and the curve of her lips. Meryl kissed his wandering fingertip, and his chest shook in a noiseless laugh under her cheek. He cuddled her close, his hand tangling in her short hair. In return, she fit herself against him, reaching up to pet the stubble along his jaw. A moment of whimsy prompted her to finish the caress that had started this whole unexpected tumble in the dark, and Meryl slid her fingers into Vash's hair. It was damp with sweat, and she smiled, remembering why that was so.

Meryl pushed his hair away from his face and gently ran her nails along his head. Vash made a very happy noise, and she scratched a little harder, stifling a giggle. What would the insurance company say if they knew that the most feared man on the planet liked to have his head scritched like a big cat? She kept up the motion until Vash caught her wrist and brought her hand down to his lips to press a kiss into the palm of her hand. Sudden tears sprang to her eyes at his tenderness, and Meryl buried her head in his chest and bit her lip hard to keep from crying.

Vash tightened his arms around her and Meryl felt his breath grow slow and even. She closed her own eyes but didn't try to sleep. The feel of his heart beating under her cheek, his warmth surrounding her…no matter how tired she was, there were no dreams that could compete with this feeling.

Meryl wondered if she had made a mistake. They said, whoever "they" were, that ignorance was bliss. She'd never believed it. Knowledge was a good thing. Knowledge gave you power, gave you means to carve out something resembling a decent life on this wreck of a planet. A few hours ago, she'd been ignorant. She hadn't known what it would feel like to give in to her feelings or have Vash acknowledge that he felt the same. Now she did know, and the pain that tore at her heart was almost enough to make her want to take it back. She knew what it felt like to really love Vash, and she knew for the first time just how much she would lose if he didn't win the fight with Knives. Knowing all this, she still had to let him walk away. I have to let you go. But how the hell can I?

Meryl didn't move for a long time. Only when the light of the rising moons began to filter back into the room did she stir. She couldn't be here in the morning when he awoke. What they had shared was wonderful and indescribably precious to her, but it was something that could not exist in the daylight until Vash had taken care of his business and freed himself to live without fear. Besides, if she spent the entire night in his arms, Meryl knew there was no way she could watch him leave her without breaking down entirely.

Vash's arms grasped for her when she sat up. There was enough light in the room now for her to look at him and see that he was looking at her questioningly. She just smiled sadly at him. I can't stay. You know that.

He nodded once, slowly.

Meryl sighed and fumbled around the pillows for her nightshirt. Vash handed it to her and she slipped it over her shoulders, not bothering to button the entire thing. He rolled onto his side and didn't even pretend not to watch her. For a second Meryl thought she glimpsed tears shining in his eyes, but no, that had to be a trick of the moonlight. Vash reached up to touch her face and she leaned in to kiss him one last time.

His lips were warm and soft and sweet against hers, and Meryl concentrated hard on the feeling. Tears threatened again and she knew that if she didn't leave soon, she never would. Vash's arms encircled her in a tight hug, and she unwillingly broke the kiss, snuggling into his bare shoulder. Come back, she thought, unaware that her mouth had breathed the words as well until a nearly inaudible "I will" tickled her ear.

You had better, Meryl thought, making sure to keep her words to herself this time. Relief and hope began to lighten the sense of anxiety and despair she felt at the thought of him going. You had just better. I'm not through with you yet, Vash the Stampede, and for the first time I think you're not through with me either. This time I can let you go, because I think you really will come back.

The moons rose higher in the sky, and Meryl knew it was time. Leaving Vash was the hardest thing she had ever done, but she did it. One last caress, her delicate fingers over his callused gunman's hands, and she padded across the cold floor to the hallway and then to her own bed. Meryl's cheek was cold with the tears that had finally flowed after she closed Vash's door, but there was happiness mixed with the loss. The darkness was kind, and sleep came quickly once she had crawled back into her own bed, still feeling the warmth of Vash's body. A last, fleeting thought flashed through her mind before she sank into unconsciousness.

He'll come back. He promised.

"Hmm?" Meryl tore her thoughts back to the present. Milly was watching her with happy, hopeful eyes. "Of course he will." Meryl smiled into the sun and remembered a whispered promise in the dark, a promise made only to her. She thought of the last words he'd said to her that weren't hampered by the too-bright daylight.

"He wouldn't dare keep a good woman like me waiting."

Leave us reviews! We're plotting a sequel. We like encouragement.

Arafel: arafel@oceandreaming.com
Jaina: lhanson@bgnet.bgsu.edu