/ ❯ Temptation Waits ❯ There is no God ( Chapter 1 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

A/N - I got the idea for this fic a while ago while I was still working on Project 109, I wanted to write a comedy fic but I didn't want to stray too far from the lemon category since that's what I'm good at writing, so we have here my first romantic comedy and I promise you all that I'm going to make this my best story yet! The funny parts don't really happen until Vegeta goes into heat and gets flirtatious though!

Thanks and please remember to review!

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"Damn it!!" Bulma brought her finger to her mouth and sucked at the tiny cut, her eyes glaring at the offending bit of wire that had sliced open her finger, "That's it! You're going down Mr. Wire." She raised the wire snipper and cut an inch of the long copped wire, watching with malicious eyes as the inch of wire fell to the floor and was crunched by Bulma's boot.

"Well, you sure showed him." The mocking voice came from behind her and Bulma resisted the urge to turn and glare at Vegeta, "I know I'm scared."

She ignored his presence and turned back to re-wiring the navigation system of the space capsule, how did he sneak aboard? I'll have to remember to lock the door next time…red-to-red…orange-to-orange…blue-to-white… NO…Blue-to-blue…white-to-white…green-to…

Bulma paused as she stared at the four remaining wires that appeared, to her eyes at least, to be all of the same colour, "Oh-oh…"

"What is it now woman?" She felt, rather then saw him come up behind her.

"I can't tell which of these wires go to which, can you tell?" she moved over slightly and Vegeta moved next to her,

"Err…that one goes to…that one." Vegeta pointed at the wire in her fingers and another wire.

"Are you sure?" She squinted and wired them together, "I guess you can see better then me. I hope your right though because if this isn't the correct wiring your going to have absolutely no control over your navigation system."

"Of course I'm sure woman, now how long till I can leave?" Vegeta snapped as he moved away, "I want to leave this God forsaken mud ball as soon as possible."

"I don't know how long Vegeta…maybe you can leave tomorrow morning, maybe you'll have to wait a week."

"A week?" Vegeta grumbled and walked out muttering about her stupidity.

"Stupid saiyan." Bulma ground her teeth and stared at the hundreds of tiny little circuit boards and delicate wires that she'd already spent two weeks replacing. This ship was like her baby now, and she didn't want to give it up to Vegeta.

Of course it wasn't like she had much choice.

"Damn…" Bulma muttered as she realised she didn't have the right tools to finish fixing the console, "Oh screw it, I'll get them later."

Bulma replaced the top of the console and packed up her tools, carefully placing them to the side of the room, out of the way of Vegeta, she stood up and yawned again, bed, she needed sleep…Bulma took a step towards the door, then she screamed suddenly as her foot hit the inch of wire she had snipped off before and her ankle twisted sideways.

Bulma lurched sideways, her head hitting the corner of the console and knocking her out cold as she fell to the floor and slid across the polished floor, her body coming to rest beside her toolbox.

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Vegeta strode out the door of Capsule Corp towards his space ship that the annoying woman had been working on. He paused at the door but heard no noise from inside it, he shrugged and strode the rest of the way in, if the woman wasn't here then she was most likely inside sleeping.

He paused by the console she had been replacing yesterday; it looked like it was finished now. Vegeta glanced about the room but saw nothing other then the woman's toolbox and a pile of rags on the floor.

Maybe the woman was finished and he could leave…His eyes slid back to the console, or rather they slid back to the large green button that rested in the middle of the console.

Vegeta had a secret; he was a natural born button pusher

He looked around the room again, then once again his eyes returned to look at the green button.

It was big.

It was green.

It was a button.

His gloved hand hovered over the button as he deliberated his dilemma. On one hand he had a button he could push, on the other the console might not be fixed yet. Vegeta bit his lip and tried to fight it as his hand began to descend to the button. Closer and closer…

"Huh? What happened? Where…Vegeta? No!" What Vegeta had though was a pile of rags sat up just as Vegeta pushed the big green button.

A roaring sound filled the space ship as the atmospheric thrusters engaged and the space ship blasted off. Both Bulma and Vegeta scrambled for the single chair in the middle of the room.

Vegeta got their first and strapped himself in.

"You bastard get out of that chair!" Bulma shrieked and tried unsuccessfully to move the saiyan Prince.

"Are you mad woman? I'm not moving!" Vegeta grabbed the woman's wrist, "Go find another chair to strap into!"

"This is the only chair you…chair thieving thief!" She sank to her knees as the ship blasted higher and the G force began to affect her.

"Damn it woman!" Vegeta huffed, easily reaching down and pulling Bulma securely into his arms despite the high gravity. Bulma only mumbled something incoherent, but nasty sounding, into his chest as she held on tightly.

Very slowly the ship fought free of the atmosphere and gravity lessened until they were in zero gravity. Vegeta let go of Bulma and she pushed away from him with an indignant look and a "bastard!"

"Oh come on woman, admit it, you loved it…" Vegeta looked horrified at what he had said and covered his mouth with his hands.

"What did you just say?" Bulma tried to turn around but instead accidentally sent herself careening into a wall, "Ooof! Computer engage normal gravity!"

"Woman I wouldn't…" Vegeta tried to say more when the computer interrupted him

"Gravity Engaged."

Bulma squealed as she fell to the floor with a thump, "Ow! That hurt."

"I did try to warn you." Vegeta unstrapped himself and stood up, "Now why was it that you looked so horrified when we blasted off?"

"Because I haven't fixed the navigation system yet you idiot!" She pulled herself up off the floor and glared at Vegeta, "I knocked myself out last night before I could return to the house to get the right tools."

"So fix it now." Vegeta shrugged.

"You're not listening to me, I said I knocked myself out before I could get the right tools, in other words Mr. High 'N' Might Saiyan Prince, we're totally screwed."

Vegeta's mouth dropped open, "Are you trying to tell me woman that we have no control over where we're going and that we can't fix the problem?"

Bulma didn't bother to dignify that with an answer, "I'm going to go lie down and try to think of some way I can fix the consol. I would suggest that you stay away from me."

"Or what?" Vegeta's eyes flashed and Bulma glared right back,

"Or this…" She took a deep breath and let out the loudest, shrillest scream she could muster.

Vegeta shrieked in return and dropped to the floor holding his ears, "Aaaaaah! My ears! My ears!"

Bulma stopped screaming and nodded to herself, that'd show him to oppose the might of the Beautiful Brainy Bulma.

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"Bulma!" Vegeta rapped on the door and came in, "We have another problem."

"What now Vegeta?" She raised her head and tried to glare at him but couldn't seem to muster enough hatred to do it; depression had sapped all her energy.

She knew she wasn't going to be able to fix that console, she was doomed to be stuck in a ship with Vegeta for all eternity…or until they flew into a sun and died.

"I'm going into…mamain mayaing sasasn." Vegeta mumbled the last few words so incoherently that Bulma wasn't able to make any of it out.

"Huh? You're going into what? Denial? Trust me Vegeta we're on the brink of Hell, nothing can possibly make this situation any worse then it is.

"Believe me woman," Vegeta glared at her coldly, "This is going to make it worse."

"Fine Vegeta, what's wrong?" Bulma rolled her eyes,

"I'm going into…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, God this is so embarrassing, "Saiyan Mating Season."

Bulma stared at him, horrified, "There is no God."

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