Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Aa! Megami-sensei! ❯ Matchmaker, Matchmaker ( Chapter 12 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Aa! Megami-sensei!

by Peter Ward

Episode 12: Matchmaker, Matchmaker



The bell rang as Urd stood up in front of her last class of the
day. As one of the lab teams handed their assignment to her in
the typical last-minute fashion, she called out, "Okay, everyone,
don't forget to read chapter four of your alchemy manuals for the
weekend, as well as reviewing your compound charts. Class
dismissed!"

Urd stepped out of the class while the students gave a universal
moan in dismay. As much as she sympathized with her students,
she had other matters to attend to today. Minutes later, she
reached the teachers' lounge, where her apprentice Jun, carrying
Joe, was waiting.

"Hiya kid!" Urd greeted Jun. "Classes went well for you today?"

"For the most part, yeah." Jun replied as she stepped into the
lounge with Urd, preparing for another teleport home to the
temple.

"Good. Listen, I won't be going home right away, so I'll just
'port you on ahead. Don't forget to go through the drills I gave
you this week, and tell Belldandy that I might not be home in
time for dinner since I've got some people to meet today. Got
all that?"

"Gotcha!" Jun said as she hefted her heavier-than-usual bookbag
in preparation for the teleport.

"Hey, what's with the bag? Looks like it got stuffed to the
gills!"

"Um, well, you know that costume you came up with for me last
weekend..."

"Oh? You mean that it got the boys' attention and all that bulk
is love notes?" Urd asked, in reference to the skimpy costume
that she put Jun in for the talent show the previous weekend.

"Well, these are the better ones...most of them are still in my
locker waiting to be cleaned out..."

"Oooo...a bigger success than I thought it would be! I love it
when a plan comes together!" Urd exclaimed as she started up the
spell to send Jun home. Before Jun could reply, the spell took
effect and she found herself at the temple again.

"Damn, I hate it when she does that..." Jun muttered as she
headed off for her room.

A couple minutes later, back at the teachers' lounge, there was a
knock at the door which Urd answered. She opened the door to let
Suzie Cabbit into the room and showed her to one of the tables.

"So, what is it that you wanted, sensei?" Suzie asked as she sat
down.

"Well, I was wondering how things were going between you and
Saotome Ranma..."

"Wha..wha...what?!" Suzie stammered. "Whatever gave you the idea
that Ranma and I were an item?"

"From what I understand, you've been known to hang around the
Tendo dojo from time to time, and that's where Ranma lives...."
Urd said with a glint in her eye.

"Hey, that's because my friend Nabiki lives, and where Buffy's
been training. That's all!" Suzie exclaimed. "I'm only friends
with Ranma, if you can call it that with his phobia of cats..."

"I see. I guess that phobia makes it tough on you."

"Well, part of the reason why I'm hanging out there is that it's
part of Nabiki's plan to get Ranma used to folks like me. It's
also pretty fun to watch him squirm, I gotta admit."

Urd laughed, then continued, "And you don't have any feelings for
Ranma, huh?"

"Well, his cat phobia aside, he is pretty cute for a human, but
he's a bit of a jerk. Besides, he's already engaged to Akane, so
I'm not going to mess with that."

"Not to mention his being engaged to Shampoo and Ukyo..." Urd
muttered.

"I knew about the 'engagement' to Shampoo, if you can call it
that, but Ukyo? I know that she's one of his classmates and best
friends, but another fiancee? Geez, that guy gets around..."

"And I don't know what to make of Kuno's sister chasing after
him." Urd said in disgust.

"That psycho? I'm sure Ranma doesn't have any feelings for her
other than fear and loathing."

"That's good. I don't think this plane will take any more growth
in that particular family tree. What about Buffy? Is she after
Ranma as well?"

"Naaa....she and Ranma are just good friends and fellow martial
artists, that's all. In fact, I think they enjoy irritating the
hell out of each other since she's an amazon and he's, well, he's
a product of this culture, let's just say."

"True. I guess those two get along really well...not."

"Actually, they're good friends. She and I know about his
engagement to Akane and respect it. The girl Ranma really
doesn't get along with most of the time is Akane, of all people.
Then again, I did say that he is a jerk."

"Yeah, I saw that at the talent show." Urd laughed as she remem-
bered Akane sending Ranma into the lower stratosphere that night.
"At least she can keep him in line. Anyway, you can go and enjoy
the weekend. Just don't forget your assignment."

"Yes, sensei!" Suzie replied as she stepped out of the lounge and
over to where Nabiki and Buffy were waiting down the hall and
around the corner.

"So what was that all about?" Nabiki asked.

"Yeah. If we don't get going, I'll be late for my training
session!" Buffy added.

"To be honest, I'm not sure. I thought I was in trouble about
something, but all Urd-sensei did was ask all sorts of questions
about Ranma's relationships."

"Really?" Nabiki asked with an arched eyebrow. "From what the
Info Babes told me, she has this reputation for meddling in other
people's affairs at NIT."

"Oh? You don't think she's going to meddle in Ranma's affairs,
do you?" Suzie asked.

"I'd say the odds of that are very good." Nabiki answered.
"It'll be amusing to see what she does. Let's follow her."

"But what about my training session?" Buffy asked.

"Don't worry about it. Missing one session won't hurt you one
bit." Nabiki reassured the alien amazon. "However, we do have
the opportunity to watch our sensei in action. What do you say?"

"I'm in!" Suzie answered.

"Same here." Buffy said grudgingly.

"Okay, let me get some stuff out of my locker and we'll get
going. Suzie, keep an eye on the teachers' lounge and let us
know when Urd-sensei goes on the move..."

"She's already on the move, Nabiki!" Suzie whispered. "She's
heading this way!"

"Damn! No time to get the stuff. Act normal!" Nabiki whispered
as the three straightened out and acted as if they were just
hanging out.

"Hi guys!" Urd said as she passed the three girls by. "How come
you're still here and not getting out of this place for the
weekend?"

"Ohhh....just trying to decide where to go, that's all." Nabiki
replied.

"Well, have a good weekend!" Urd said as she walked away.

As soon as she was out of sight, all three let out a sigh. "That
was close." Nabiki said. "I don't think she clued in on us
tailing her today."

"That's unusual, since she seems to have mind-reading powers."
Buffy countered.

"True." Nabiki considered for a moment. "Whether or not she read
our minds doesn't matter at the moment, though. You two follow
her. I'll catch up as soon as I get the equipment out of my
locker."

"What equipment?" Suzie asked as Buffy went on ahead.

"You'll see." Nabiki replied. "Just a little something I bor-
rowed from Michiko and Kiddy a while back for just such an
occasion."

"Can't wait to see it!" Suzie said as she ran to catch up with
Buffy.

None of the three noticed a tiny figure hiding around the corner
from where they were standing. As Nabiki strode quickly back to
her classroom to get the equipment she mentioned, the tiny figure
followed discretely.

"So, we're gonna play follow the leader, huh?" the Mini-Urd said
with a grin. "Good thing I split off here while the rest of me
went on. Gotta keep one step ahead of Nabiki at all times, it
seems."

* * * * * * * * * *

Eventually, Urd made her way to the first of her destinations:
the Nekohanten. Stepping inside, she frowned at first. She
didn't expect the Chinese restaurant to be so popular, but then
she saw the reason why. Shampoo, one of Ranma's fiancees, was a
waitress there. As she stood at the door, Urd observed that the
customers (the male ones, at least), all but fawned over the
purple-haired Chinese girl. Shampoo, for her part, acted cute
and friendly to all of her customers.

"Well, if Ranma ends up with her, it wouldn't be all bad." Urd
commented, thinking that no one was able to hear.

"No, it wouldn't." an ancient voice answered back beside her.

Urd nearly jumped when she saw Cologne balancing on her staff
beside her. <Damn...that old crone surprised me there!> Urd
thought as she regained her composure.

"Sorry to catch you off guard." Cologne continued. "I would have
thought that you were incapable of being surprised. I guess that
just means you're not completely infallible."

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about..." Urd replied
warily.

"Oh, but I'm sure you do. But this is not the place to discuss
such matters. Come, come, we'll talk in the kitchen." Cologne
said as she hopped on her staff over toward a doorway in the back
of the dining room. As she passed Shampoo, she whispered. "Take
care of the customers, great-granddaughter. I have matters to
discuss with Miss Urd here."

Entering the kitchen, Urd saw that Mousse was busy washing
dishes. "Get out there and help Shampoo with the customers!"
Cologne commanded him. "I need to talk with Miss Urd alone."

"Yes, ma'am!" Mousse replied with delight as he rushed headlong
into a nearby wall.

"Put your glasses on first!" Cologne finished in irritation.

A moment later, after Mousse did as suggested, Urd asked, "So,
how did you know that I was coming?"

"I knew that your curiosity was aroused when it was mentioned at
the show last weekend that Shampoo is to marry Ranma. I figured
that you'd make your way here eventually. Besides, I was down
the block when you entered the restaurant."

"Aha." Urd commented with a smile. "I figured that there's more
to you than meets the eye, Cologne."

"You would be one who knows about such things, I would think."
Cologne replied simply. "I can tell what you are, and you are no
alien..."

"Hold on for a moment." Urd cut her off.

* * * * * * * * * *

Down the block from the Nekohanten, Nabiki and her cohorts were
busy setting up the equipment she brought with her.

"So, you think this telescopic mike will do the trick?" Suzie
asked.

"Yup." Nabiki replied. "Kiddy designed it herself, and I've
gotten a lot of respect for her skills with surveillance equip-
ment in the past couple of months. According to her, this
thing's powerful enough to pick up conversations through several
walls, and yet selective enough to pick out a whisper in a noisy
room if we wanted to."

"That's impressive." Buffy commented. "Now, where was I supposed
to plug this cable into?"

"Right here." Nabiki said in irritation while pointing to the
"mic in" jack. "Not into the power coupling."

"Sorry!" Buffy said as she did what she was told.

"Are you this bad with all electric stuff?" Suzie asked incredu-
lously.

"Okay," Buffy snapped back, "So I'm no good with most technical
stuff. Most I can do is maybe drive one of your cars or some-
thing, but hooking up stuff is something else."

"Hmmmm...have I ever asked you about joining the Auto Tech Club?"
Nabiki asked, seeing another possible source of club fees (and
thus more money for her as the treasurer).

"Nope."

"Remind me to ask you later. We need someone that can attract
more members and keep Tetsuo in line." Nabiki commented as she
plugged in one final cable. "There, now we're all set. Let's
hit the power switch and eavesdrop on our ever-meddling teacher."

Nabiki pushed the switch and started aiming the microphone, which
resembled a scale model of the energy cannon with the parabolic
dish from the Godzilla movies. After a few seconds of nudging
the antenna around and fiddling with the controls, she smiled as
she hit paydirt.

Cologne's voice came in through the amplifier/tape deck setup:
"You would be one who knows about such things, I would think. I
can tell what you are, and you are no alien..."

Urd's voice suddenly came up. "Hold on for a moment."

"WHATCHA DOING????"

Nabiki quickly yanked the headphones off of her ringing ears and
dropped them to the ground. Shaking her head for a moment, she
joined Buffy and Suzie in staring in shock at the Mini-Urd
standing by the mike pickup.

"Seh-seh-sensei?!" Suzie barely recovered. "Is that you???"

"Yup!" Mini-Urd grinned at the three girls. "Now, tell me what
are you girls doing here with a telescopic microphone!"

"Umm...err....testing it out?" Nabiki stammered.

"That sound like fun!" the Mini-Urd said excitedly. "Lemme try!"

"Actually, we were just leaving..." Nabiki said, realizing that
the mike was still set up for eavesdropping on their teacher and
Cologne.

"Awww...you're no fun at all!" Mini-Urd said in mock disappoint-
ment as the three girls scrambled off, barely remembering to take
the microphone with them.

* * * * * * * * * *

Back inside the restaurant, Urd started giggling and commented,
"And that takes care of that for the moment."

"Eh?" Cologne asked.

"Oh, Tendo Nabiki and a couple of her friends had a telescopic
microphone set up outside to eavesdrop on us. I took care of it
before we got to sensitive matters here."

"Hmmm...would one of them have long pink hair and the other one
being a cat-girl of some sort?"

"As a matter of fact, yeah. Why? Do you know them?"

"Only indirectly. It seems they both have upset great-grand-
daughter a couple of months back. Especially the pink-haired
one, since she's also an amazon."

"Lemme guess, you also have trouble with them." Urd commented.

"No. While they both associate with son-in-law, they present no
competition for great-granddaughter for the moment. Obstacles,
yes, since they seem intent on defending son-in-law's engagement
to Tendo Akane, but not competition. In fact, I like the fact
that they associate with son-in-law. The amazon is training with
son-in-law and is helping him become a better fighter, which is
important to us. As for the cat-girl, she's helping son-in-law
overcome his phobia of cats, which will ultimately make things
easier for great-granddaughter. For the time being, I've told
great-granddaughter to leave them be."
"It seems you've done your homework around here." Urd commented.

"One does not reach my age or status without attending to such
things." Cologne replied. "As I was saying earlier, I know that
you're not an alien. I've been around too long to be fooled by
that."

"Whatever do you mean?" Urd said weakly, hoping that her cover
story wasn't blown.

"I know that you're a goddess, Urd. When you get to be over a
hundred like I am, you learn certain things. Like the fact that
the marks on your face aren't merely tattoos, birthmarks, or
religious marks. I know that they are goddess marks. I've seen
them on others before."

"Damn...there's no getting anything past you, is there?"

"No, there isn't." Cologne replied with what passed for a grin on
her prune-like face. "Anyway, I won't give away your secret,
since it isn't to anyone's best interest for me to do so. I just
thought you should know that you weren't fooling everybody."

"Thanks." Urd said, relieved that her cover was partly kept for
the moment.

"So, why are you so curious about son-in-law?"

"Well, having a guy around who has three fiancees does raise
eyebrows, you've got to admit. Besides, a lot of the disturbanc-
es around school tend to center around him and at least one of
those fiancees."

"So it's gotten to be a disciplinary matter as well, then. I was
wondering when the situation would reach that point."

"You know, I'm surprised that you haven't made any requests or
demands that I get Ranma together with Shampoo. Especially since
you know that I'm a goddess."

"True, I could try to take advantage of that knowledge, but I
think you will find for yourself that great-granddaughter's
engagement to son-in-law is the most desirable one."

"And what if Ranma doesn't see it that way?"

"He will. I will see to that. Anyway, I'm sure you've seen
great-granddaughter's affections towards him. You will find that
she will make the better wife out of the three. But don't let
that stop you from investigating the others."

"We'll see." Urd replied as she got up. "As you said, I'll be
checking up on the others as well. By the way, has anyone ever
taught Shampoo to use a door? I mean, it's one thing to impress
the person you love, but it's taking a toll on the school's
maintenance budget! Besides, the act's gotten really old!"

"Hmmmmm...I shall speak to great-granddaughter about that, then."

"Thanks! See ya!"

"Until next time." Cologne said as Urd stepped out. When Urd was
gone, Cologne thought, <Yes, it would be good if we got a goddess
to back great-granddaughter's claim to son-in-law. If not, it
wouldn't matter anyway. I will see to it that the two are
married according to tribal law.>

* * * * * * * * * *

"Any sign of the small Urd?"

"None that I can see, Nabiki..." Suzie answered uncertainly.

"Problem is, there's no telling where the small one could be."
Buffy added.

"True." Nabiki agreed. "The regular-sized one just entered
Ucchan's, but that mini one's hard to spot. Now, let's turn this
baby on," patting the microphone, "and listen in on the big one."

Nabiki pushed the power switch on the battery pack, and was
rewarded with a flash of flame as the microphone went up in
smoke. A quick look revealed that the power cable was hooked up
to the microphone's jack. "Buffy!"

"Ooops." was Buffy's only reply.

Nabiki sighed. She was either going to have to come up with
quite a bit of money to pay back Kiddy for the microphone, or owe
some favors at the very least. She popped the tape out of the
undamaged but powerless deck and put into a walkman she had for
the occasion. "Let's see what we did get from the Nekohanten, at
least..."

All she got when she hit "play" was an awful idol song.

"I'm not going to ask. I'm not going to ask." Nabiki muttered as
she removed the walkman's headphones. "Okay, now what?"

"Maybe we can eavesdrop on them ourselves..." Buffy mused.

"We could, but we might get flushed out by that Mini-Urd." Nabiki
answered. "Now that I think about it, it's really weird that Urd
can shrink herself like that..."

"You mean like this?" Buffy asked just as she disappeared from
their sight. A moment of searching later, Suzie spotted her.

"There she is!" Suzie exclaimed, pointing to the five-inch-tall
Buffy standing exactly where she was when she was full-sized.

"What do you think?" Buffy asked with a smirk.

"You mean you can do that too?" Nabiki asked. "Maybe Urd being
so small isn't suspicious, but how do you explain her being in
two places at once?"

"I've seen some friends back home pull it off." Buffy explained.
"Now, why don't we turn the tables on our teacher, huh?"

"What do you mean?" Suzie asked.

"Why don't all three of us shrink down? Like this!" Buffy
answered as she touched Suzie. Instantly, Suzie found herself at
less than four inches tall. Buffy did the same with Nabiki, who
wound up falling between the two in height.

"What the?" Nabiki said in shock.

"Hey! How come I'm still shorter than you guys? Can't you
fine-tune my height so that I can at least see you guys eye-to-
eye?" Suzie complained.

"All right, all right." Buffy capitulated and raised Suzie's
height enough to make her happy.

"Ooooo....now this is nice!" Suzie said as she enjoyed her new
relative stature. "Hey, Buffy, when we return to normal size,
can you make these proportions permanent?"

"Sorry, my power only works for about thirty minutes at a time."

"Awwwww...it was worth a shot though! Just think, no more short
jokes!"

"Enough already." Nabiki said, having gotten used to being only a
few inches tall. "Now, let's split up and head for the alley by
Ucchan's, and hurry up about it. We've got a time limit here!"

As the three scurried off, a figure with long purple hair stepped
out from where she was hiding behind a tree.

"So. Greedy girl and friends go make trouble. Good thing
great-grandmother tell Shampoo to go follow alien teacher. Find
out what she up to. Also good thing great-grandmother tell
Shampoo to keep eye out for other girls. Now where did other
girls go now that they so tiny?"

As Shampoo dashed off, Mini-Urd leaped down from the tree with an
irritated look on her face. "Geez! Not only does Shampoo have
to get into the act, but Nabiki and her friends are using some of
the same tricks I use. This is getting to be a bit much!"

* * * * * * * * * * *

"So this is how a rat would see things?" Nabiki mused as the
three darted along the alley next to Ucchan's.

"Yeah...let's just hope we don't run across any cats." Buffy
answered back while keeping a wary eye out. "I especially don't
want to run across Shampoo at this size."

"Hey, come on, we're not *that* bad about chasing our prey!"
Suzie protested.

"Yeah? Tell that to any alley cats we might run into." Nabiki
shot back as she made it to the delivery door. Looking at how
high up the doorknob was, she added, "Um, Buffy, maybe we should
have shrunk down *after* we got inside."

"It'd be a lot harder to sneak in that way!" Buffy explained.

"It's a lot harder to sneak in *now* since we can't even reach
the doorknob!" Nabiki told the amazon.

"Cool it, you two!" Suzie said to break up the argument before
their raised voices attracted attention. "I can reach it easy!"
With that, Suzie climbed up to the doorknob, giving it a twist.
She nearly fell when the door opened up for her, but she recov-
ered quickly enough and jumped down to where the other two were.

"Okay, let's go!" Nabiki whispered and the three girls scrambled
inside.

In a matter of minutes, the three snuck into the main dining
area, took separate hiding places, and began to listen in on Urd,
who was munching on an okonomiyaki, and Ukyo.

"So, let me get this straight. Ranma's dad engaged him to you
even though he already did that with one of the Tendo girls.
Then he ran off with Ranma and the cart, only to ditch the cart
later?"

"Yup." Ukyo replied, not happy to be reliving the memory.

<Geez...Mr. Saotome strikes again!> Suzie thought darkly.

"Then you caught up with them last year, got your revenge on
Genma, only to fall in love with Ranma." Urd finished.

"I nearly nailed him as well. But he called me 'cute', which no
one had ever done. He was also fighting with Akane, so I figured
that I might actually have a shot at him after all."

"Mind if I ask a question, Ukyo?"

"Go right ahead, sensei."

"Are they always fighting like that?"

"Most times that I see them, yeah. A lot of those times, that
girl clobbers on poor Ranchan. I mean, you have to wonder why he
puts up with that when he can have me! I'd never treat him like
that at all!"

"Why do you think he's still with Akane, then?"

"Because of that stupid promise that his father and Mr. Tendo
made. I don't think Ranma and Akane would stick together if they
had a choice in the matter at all."

"Wasn't your engagement to Ranma a promise as well? Sure sounds
like Mr. Saotome doesn't keep his promises at all." Urd pressed.

"But, aren't promises supposed to be kept? Even if the promise
was made to both me and Akane, I should still be the one to marry
Ranchan! I treat him way nicer than she ever does, and he knows
how good a cook I am. All Akane would do is poison him with her
so-called cooking!"

"Now, let's not exaggerate..."

"I'm not exaggerating! Ranchan practically crawls over here all
the time to try to escape her meals."

"Does Ranma return any of your affections, might I ask?"

Ukyo sighed and said, "No. I wish that he would, but all he ever
does is treat me like a friend, that's all."

"Maybe that'll change. Give it time." Urd replied. "Anyway,
enough of this depressing talk. I can see why Ranma's always
coming here."

"Why's that?" Ukyo asked, perking up a bit.

"This okonomiyaki's great! I don't think I've tasted anything
like it!"

Ukyo laughed and replied, "That's the house special. I've been
developing the recipe for most of my life. Don't worry, it's on
the house!"

<Geez...bribe the teacher, why don't you?> Buffy thought,
resisting the urge to go show Ukyo a thing or two about fair
play.

Nabiki, from her vantage point in one of the booths, saw that Urd
was getting up to leave. She hissed a warning signal to the
other two and they scrambled back out the way they came.

"This is not looking good." Nabiki muttered once they were out
the side door.

"It's about to get even worse!" Buffy shouted as she looked
beyond where Nabiki was standing.

"Shampoo find this amusing." the Chinese amazon said with a smug
look on her face from where she was leaning against a wall.
"Great-grandmother tell Shampoo follow alien teacher and look out
for trouble-making girls. Shampoo saw trouble-making girls turn
small and sneak into Ucchan's. Now Shampoo get revenge on alien
amazon girl and cat girl for making trouble for Shampoo."

"Run for it!" Nabiki yelled, certain that Shampoo wouldn't stop
at her friends.

"No need to tell us!" Suzie yelled back as the three scrambled
behind a dumpster.

"Here, give me your hands!" Buffy said as they approached the
other side of the dumpster. However, as the three joined hands,
Shampoo's face peeked in from the end they were running for.

"You no hide from Shampoo! Shampoo stop you from interfering in
marriage to Ranma!"

"Quick, double back!" Nabiki yelled and the trio did so. They
barely managed to beat Shampoo back the way they came. Once
clear of the confines behind the dumpster, Buffy gave her
friends' hands a squeeze and they found themselves back at their
normal sizes.

"Aiya! How you do that?" Shampoo exclaimed, nearly slamming
right into Buffy.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Buffy said with a wink as she
grabbed Shampoo's top and held part of it in a fist. "So, you
wanted to get revenge on us when we were small, huh? Doesn't
sound very honorable to me."

"And didn't your great-grandmother tell you to leave them alone?"
the Mini-Urd asked from on top of a stack of crates.

"Aiya! Alien teacher also so tiny! What go on?" Shampoo cried
out.

"That's a secret." the full-sized Urd said as she stepped out
from the side door, with Ukyo standing behind her. The Mini-Urd
hopped down from her stack of crates, leaped over to where her
bigger self was, and merged instantly.

"Shampoo see two teachers become one. Shampoo must be going
crazy!"

"Not really. Just one of my tricks, that's all." Urd said.
"However, I am getting tired of having you girls sneaking around
following me like this. Tell you what, I'm going over to the
Tendos now. If you want to come with me, fine. If not, fine.
Just stop it with this stupid sneaking around, okay?"

"Teacher go see Ranma? Shampoo go back to Nekohanten and get
food for Ranma. Shampoo show teacher how much Shampoo love
Ranma!"

"Not if I beat you to it." Ukyo declared.

"Ranma like Shampoo food better! Shampoo win Ranma's heart with
food!"

"Well, Ranchan's been eating my okonomiyaki longer than he's
known you, you purple-haired hussy!"

As the argument between the two fiancees devolved into another
fight, Urd shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever. You three
coming?" she asked Nabiki and her friends.

"Why not?" Nabiki answered. "I'm sure they're probably worried
about us at home anyway." she added as the four left Shampoo and
Ukyo to their dispute.

As the ladies walked through the neighborhood, Urd asked, "So,
what's your take on Ranma and Akane's constant fighting?"

"1000 yen, please." Nabiki replied, her hand held out.

"I get it. I want info, I'm gonna have to pay for it, huh?" Urd
muttered as she reached for her wallet.

"You got it." Nabiki said as she was paid. "That should do it.
In my opinion, the bickering's gotten tiresome."

"Ranma's usually the one who starts them." Buffy added.

"Gotta expect it with that big mouth of his." Suzie agreed.

"True, he does put his foot in it from time to time." Urd consid-
ered. "Of course, Akane doesn't help matters with the way she
pounds him..."

"Of course. Why settle differences peacefully when you can just
pound him flat or send him into the stratosphere?" Nabiki dead-
panned.

"One would think that Ranma would go for either Shampoo or Ukyo
with that going on." Urd mused. "After all, both of them treat
him better than that."

"True, but as stubborn as those two are, Ranma and Akane do tend
to be there for each other when the chips are down." Nabiki said.

"Really?" Urd answered. "Maybe there's hope for those two yet.
You know, I don't think they'd argue if they didn't care deep
down."

"Sometimes you have to wonder." Nabiki said.

"Anyway, why is it that you have to pester me all the time,
Nabiki? It's bad enough that you invade your sister and future
in-law's privacy, but your own teacher?"

"Let's just say that a lot of things about you don't add up. I
think there's a lot of money waiting for the person who finds out
about you."

"Mercenary to the last, huh?" Urd muttered.

"If that's what you want to call it, that's fine by me. Anyway,
we only followed you to see how much you're going to meddle in
Ranma's lovelife, that's all."

"Hey, someone's gotta do something about him having more than one
fiancee, right? That's right up my alley!" Urd said.

"You'll probably make some enemies no matter who you pick."
Nabiki warned.

"That's what you get in a situation like this." Urd agreed. "I'm
not worried, though. I can handle them easily."

Nabiki laughed at this. "That, I have no doubt. If you can
flash-fry Happosai on a regular basis, I think you can handle the
others."

"Too bad we can't send him on a one-way trip to hell." Buffy
muttered.

"I'm sure that can be arranged." Urd said half-jokingly.

"You're going to have to get in line for that." Nabiki replied.
"A lot of people around here have a grudge against the old man.
I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a lynch mob in the near fu-
ture."

"Where can I sign up?" Suzie said menacingly. Like just about
any young female in the district, she too had been petted improp-
erly by the lech.

They turned the corner and walked into the front gate of the
Tendo home and dojo. There, they were greeted by the familiar
sounds of Ranma and Akane arguing coming from the kitchen area.

"Hmmmmm...maybe it would be better if I set things up between
Ukyo and Ranma..." Urd mused, not liking the arguing one bit.
Even though it wasn't meant to be heard, Nabiki picked up on it
and gave her teacher the eye.

Suzie, not hearing what Urd said, commented, "Uh, oh. If they're
arguing in the kitchen, that can only mean one thing."

"She cooked something." Buffy completed the thought with dread in
her voice.

"Didn't Shampoo and Ukyo say they were coming over with food?"
Nabiki said with a bit of hope in her voice.

"That's right. We can eat it while Ranma ends up eating her
cooking." Buffy said, also with a bit of hope. "I might have
some degree of invulnerability, but it can't protect me against
Akane in the kitchen!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Urd said in interruption. "What are you
girls talking about? Ukyo said that Akane's cooking was bad, but
is it really that horrible?"

"You better believe it!" Suzie replied, getting a tinge of green
in her brown fur at the memory of trying out Akane's cooking
within the first week of school.

"Well, I'll believe it when I taste it." Urd said, thinking that
the girls were exaggerating.

"You like to live dangerously, don't you?" Nabiki remarked. Just
then, there was a crash and Ranma was seen flying through the
roof at a steep angle. A moment later, he made splashdown in the
koi pond.

"Hmmmm...Akane must have been easy on him if he remained in the
yard." Buffy commented as Ranma-chan popped up out of the water.

"Yeah," Suzie agreed, "she usually knocks him into the river
these days."

"Where were you??" Ranma-chan shouted as she got out of the pond.
"If you got here right after school, we'd still be sparring and
Akane wouldn't be in the kitchen making dinner!"

"I heard that, Ranma!" Akane shouted from the kitchen window.
This was followed by a huge pot hitting Ranma-chan in the head.

"This is getting old..." Nabiki muttered. "You sure you want to
stick around, sensei? Unless you've got some secret power to
protect you from food poisoning, your life's in danger here."

"I think I'll chance it." Urd said. "I can't believe Akane's
cooking is *that* bad."

"Your funeral." Suzie quipped.

"Why, hello there!" Kasumi greeted them as the four ladies
stepped into the house. "We didn't expect you to bring home so
many guests, Nabiki, but there's plenty of food for everyone.
Akane helped out in the kitchen today."

"Um, er, I just remembered that my host family's probably worried
about me, so I think I'd better get going..." Suzie said waver-
ingly.

"Same here!" Buffy added as she started to back away with Suzie.
"My grandparents don't like it when I don't spend enough time
with them...eheh..."

As the two started to leave, Kasumi turned to Urd and said, "Oh
my, this is a surprise visit, sensei! Are you going to stay for
dinner?"

"Um, sure, I guess." Urd answered.

"That's good." Kasumi said while smiling brightly. "That way,
there wouldn't be any leftovers since we have so much tonight."

<Good. The authorities won't try to nail us for illegal toxic
waste disposal...> Nabiki translated in her head.

"By the way," Kasumi continued, "how are your sisters doing,
sensei?"

"They're doing fine." Urd answered, slightly puzzled by the
question.

"That's good to hear. I was just thinking that it would be good
to have you and them over for dinner one of these days. I'm sure
it'll be good to get to know each other better."

"Eheh...I'm sure it would..." Urd said. Then she thought, <Maybe
it wouldn't be such a bad idea. If Kasumi's anything like
Belldandy, the food'll be good at least. I just gotta remember
that they're not clones of each other, even though they act that
way.>

"Anyway, I've got to get back to the kitchen and help Akane with
dinner. Please make yourself at home." Kasumi finished as she
turned to go back inside.

"So, what brings you here, sensei?" Ranma-chan asked from where
she stood beside Urd and Nabiki.

"You do." Urd answered.

"Huh?"

"More rather, your multiple-fiancee problem."

"What business is that of yours?" Ranma-chan asked crossly.
"You're not my sensei."

"Not until next year." Urd answered. "Besides, this little
problem of yours is a problem with school discipline. So, in a
way, it is my business as a member of the faculty."

"Hey, I didn't ask for any of these fiancees in the first place,
sensei. It's not like it's my fault or anything!"

"From what I heard, your engagement to Shampoo *is* your fault,
since you defeated her in combat in the first place." Urd coun-
tered.

"That was an accident! I didn't mean to do it...it just hap-
pened!"

"And what about the other two fiancees?" Urd asked.

"Blame my dad for those. He's the one who arranged both of
them."

"Why not just pick one fiancee and be done with it, then?"

"What if I don't want any of them? No one asked me how I felt
about the whole thing!"

"Well, I'm asking you now." Urd stated.

"Well, I don't want to get married now. If only my stupid father
and Mr. Tendo would stop forcing me and Akane together..."

<Hmmmmm...interesting.> Urd mused as Ranma-chan continued to
bitch about how the two fathers continued to meddle in his and
Akane's affairs. <He didn't rule out marriage completely, just
for the immediate future. He's also not mentioning Ukyo or
Shampoo, just Akane. He does have some feelings for her. But
how to bring those out...>

Urd's train of thought was interrupted with a loud clang as a
kettle of water hit Ranma-chan on the head. "I heard that too,
jerk!" Akane shouted from the doorway as Ranma changed back into
a boy from the spilled water.

"And so it goes." Nabiki said with a shrug.

"Dinner's ready!" Kasumi's voice called out from inside.

"Last chance to back out, sensei." Nabiki warned as she, Urd, and
Ranma trudged inside.

"I'll be okay. Geez, you make it sound like she's one of the
horsemen of the apocalypse or something."

"She might as well be." Ranma muttered. "She'd be right up there
with Death and Pestilence."

"You're really pushing it today, Ranma." Nabiki commented.
"Akane's probably going to kill you if you keep it up, and how am
I supposed to collect what you owe me when you're dead?"

"I'm gonna be dead anyway, thanks to that uncute girl's cooking."

"I've got a bit of good news in that department" Nabiki whis-
pered. "Shampoo and Ukyo will probably visit us with some decent
food later on...if they ever stop fighting."

"Gotcha! So all I have to do is stall long enough for them to
get here, right?"

"That's the plan." Nabiki winked.

"Ah, Nabiki, where were you all day?" Tendo Soun said in tears as
they walked into the dining room. "We were so worried for you!"

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Tendo." Urd answered. "She and her
friends were following me around all afternoon.

Nabiki gave Urd a glare, then told her father, "Well, Urd-sen-
sei's been looking into Ranma having fiancees other than sis."

Urd stiffened at this. Soun ran up to Urd and cried out, "Oh, to
think that one of the teachers is taking an interest in our
children's affairs! Isn't this just wonderful, Saotome!"

Genma, being a panda yet again, held up a sign saying, "Yes.
This will bring our bickering children closer together!"

"Is he usually like this?" Urd asked Nabiki in a whisper while
pointing to Soun.

"Yes. Pathetic, isn't it?" Nabiki whispered back.

"Here we go." Kasumi said as she walked in with Akane carrying
the night's meal. As usual, it was easy to tell which dishes
were made by Kasumi and which ones were Akane's just by sight
alone.

"Here, Ranma, have some tempura." Akane said brightly while
holding a dish of carbonized lumps in front of him. "I know I
might have overcooked it a little, but..."

"'A little'?! That's like saying the sun's a little hot!" Ranma
snapped at Akane.

Akane's face rapidly switched from a cheerful look, to a hurt
one, then to one of pure anger. "Why you jerk! You don't even
know how it tastes yet!"

"I don't have to!" Ranma yelled back. "Don't you even know when
something's burned to a cinder?!"

"Children, children! We have a guest here!" Soun cried out,
heartbroken for the umpteenth time that Ranma and Akane were
fighting again.

It was just then that the sliding door leading outside was
smashed down. "Nihao!" Shampoo greeted as her bike came through
the door. "I bring ramen for husband as good wife should!"

Genma held up another sign that said, "Edible food! We're
saved!"

"Ramen not for you, for husband instead!" Shampoo shouted as
Genma, Soun, and Nabiki rushed over like victims of a famine.

"That's okay." Ukyo said as she stepped through the hole in the
door. "I've got some okonomiyaki for Ranchan, so go ahead and
give your ramen to the others..."

"No! You give okonomiyaki to rest of family. I give ramen to
Ranma!"

"He's eating my food, you guys!" Akane yelled to the two rivals.
"See, he's enjoying it!"

Ranma was quite busy turning various shades of green and purple
while having a pair of chopsticks forced into his mouth by Akane.

"Aiya! Violent girl go and poison husband! Shampoo no stand for
this!"

"You get that set of chopsticks out of Ranchan's mouth, Akane..."

While the three girls stood there (or sat, in the case of Akane)
bathing the room with the blue light from their collective auras,
Urd looked over one of the dishes that Akane made. "Hmmmm...I
guess this is supposed to be gyoza." Urd said unnoticed as she
picked up a gray lump that had parts sloughing off as she held it
in her chopsticks.

"Oh, well, here goes..." Urd said as she brought the lump in
towards her mouth...

* * * * * * * * * *

"Are you sure Urd didn't say when she was going to be back?"
Belldandy asked Jun as they sat in the tea room with Keiichi,
Skuld, and Joe. The clock on the wall read 9:30.

"No, she didn't. All she said was that she wouldn't be back for
dinner." Jun said with a worried look on her face.

"It isn't like Urd to be away for this long." Keiichi remarked.
"I would've expected her back a few hours ago, if only to bug
us..."

"Keiichi!" Belldandy said, a bit hurt that he would say something
like that at a time like this.

"Well, it's true!" Skuld piped in, defending Keiichi for once.
"She's usually hanging around here to make trouble."

"Skuld! You and Keiichi should be ashamed of yourselves."
Belldandy said in reproach. "After all, we don't know if she
fell victim to one of Marller's schemes or not."

"Sorry." Keiichi said. "Maybe we're all a bit edgy."

"Yeah." Skuld agreed. Even though she wouldn't admit it out
loud, even she was worried about Urd deep down.

Just then, the phone rang. Jun jumped up and grabbed it.
"Hello! Morisato residence. Kokashi Jun speaking."

"Hello. May I speak with one of Urd-sensei's sisters, please?" a
voice on the other end said, sounding an awful lot like Bell-
dandy.

Jun gave a quizzical look at Belldandy, then asked, "Who is
this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm Tendo Kasumi..."

"Oh, right, Nabiki's big sister. Here, I'll put Belldandy on for
you!"

As Jun passed the handset to Belldandy, she thought, <Geez, those
two sound a hell of a lot alike. That's scary!>

"Hello?" Belldandy asked as she held the handset to her head.

"Hello, Belldandy? It's me, Kasumi. I'm afraid we've got an
emergency here. Urd ate some bad food and none of Dr. Tofu's
treatments seem to be working. Can you come right over? I don't
know if you can teleport like your sisters, but..."

"Yes, I'll be right over! Thanks for telling us!" Belldandy said
hurriedly as she put down the phone. She turned to the others
and said, "I'll be back in a while. Urd fell victim to food
poisoning at the Tendos, it seems..."

"Is that even possible, with you being goddesses and all?"
Keiichi asked in confusion and worry.

"I didn't think so, but this might be a special case." Belldandy
answered, also uncertain of the situation.

"Hey, mind if I come along? After all, she is my sensei." Jun
asked as Belldandy headed for the nearest mirror.

"Hurry up, then." Belldandy told her as she prepared to teleport.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Keep away from me, you maniac!!!!"

Ranma, Nabiki, Soun, Genma, and Akane winced in the hallway as
Urd's voice boomed from Nabiki's room. They had called for Dr.
Tofu a couple of hours earlier while Urd was unconscious from
that taste of Akane's gyoza. After an hour of Tofu trying
various treatments, Urd came to and gave them the phone number to
the temple. Unfortunately, that was when Kasumi walked into the
room.

Akane risked sneaking a peek into Nabiki's room and saw that it
was a disaster area, a result of Tofu's condition whenever
Kasumi's around. She saw Dr. Tofu standing in the middle of the
room pleading with Urd to come down from where she was hovering
in a corner. She also noticed that Urd's head was tilted ninety
degrees to the left. Again, the result of Dr. Tofu's distracted
handiwork.

Sighing, Akane closed the door and noticed a flash of light from
behind the bathroom door. Nabiki noticed this too, and walked
over to find Belldandy and Jun stepping out of the bathroom.

"Hello." a worried Belldandy said. "Where's my sister?"

"In my room over there." Nabiki answered. "Or what's left of
it..."

"What?" Belldandy asked, the worry deepening on her face. "Did
she lose control of her powers?"

"Naaaaa." Ranma replied for Nabiki. "The doc always loses it
whenever Kasumi's nearby. I knew asking him over was a mistake."

"Oh?" Akane snapped. "I don't suppose *you* could treat medical
emergencies, you jerk."

"Well, no." Ranma said. "It's just that it's dangerous whenever
Kasumi's near the doc...."

"Well, excuse me for trying to help out by calling for him!"
Akane said in a haughty voice.

"Enough, you two." Nabiki said as she stepped between them.

Belldandy stepped into the room and was shocked by what she saw.
"Urd! What happened to your neck? They told me that it was food
poisoning over the phone."

"It was, but this damned quack made things worse by going crazy
and twisting my neck!" Urd spat out. She leaned around her
sister and shouted at Tofu, "Where'd you get your license,
anyway? Out of a damn UFO catcher machine??"

Jun, standing off to the side, took a look at Tofu and noticed
something odd about him. "Um, Doctor?" she asked. "Are you all
right?"

Ranma looked over to see what Jun was talking about and recog-
nized the look that was slowly forming on his face. The goofy
smile. The steamed-up glasses. It was the same look that he got
whenever Kasumi stopped by his office.

"Aw, geez! Pop! Mr. Tendo! Help me get Dr. Tofu out of the
room before he does any more damage." Ranma shouted as Tofu
started to twitch. "Akane, make sure Kasumi stays in the kitchen
while we get the doc on his way."

"Why, Ranma?" Akane asked in confusion.

"I don't know! All I know is that he's starting to act the same
way he does around Kasumi!"

Jun, having heard the horror stories about when those two are
together, helped by holding the door open as Ranma and the two
fathers roughly escorted the doctor, who was gibbering Kasumi's
name, out of the room and on his way out of the house. <Hmmmm.>
Jun thought as she saw them trudge down the staircase. <It might
make sense. Kasumi and Belldandy did sound a lot alike over the
phone, so maybe the doc picked up on that...>

Meanwhile, Belldandy was firing up a healing spell. She first
applied it, in the form of a glowing sphere, to Urd's neck.
Almost instantly, Urd was able to straighten it out.

However, when Belldandy applied the sphere to Urd's belly, she
frowned and gave a look of deep concentration as she held the
sphere in place for several minutes. Jun noticed this and
wondered if the food poisoning was really that bad, since healing
was normally instantaneous.

After what seemed to be a long while, Belldandy pulled back her
hand and the sphere dimmed out. Jun saw that she had a very
tired look on her face and knelt by her in case she needed some
support.

Urd also stirred a bit. She looked better than she did a while
earlier, but not quite up to her usual energetic self.

Belldandy lifted her head and said weakly, "Thanks, Jun. I'm
afraid it was worse than I thought it would be. The poison was a
very potent one."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious, sis." Urd mumbled as she
sat up and winced. "And only from one bite, too."

"One bite?" Jun asked incredulously. "Man, that must've been
something nasty!"

"Just another of Akane's meals." Ranma said as he stepped back
into the doorway.

"Would you just lay off of that, Ranma!" Akane shouted as she
slugged Ranma's side as she squeezed in from behind him.

"Would you just cool it for once?" Nabiki spat out very irrita-
bly. Having Dr. Tofu trash her room did not help her mood at
all.

"I couldn't completely heal you," Belldandy said apologetically
to Urd, choosing to ignore the bickering teenagers. "But you
should get over it in a few hours. I'm afraid I don't have the
energy to teleport you back home, though."

"We can put her up for the night, if you'd like." Kasumi offered
as she looked in on the crowd in Nabiki's room.

"Thanks, Kasumi." Belldandy replied as she slowly got up. "We
really wouldn't want to intrude."

"It's no problem, really." Kasumi said brightly. "I was just
telling Urd how I'd like to have you all over for dinner some-
time, anyway. I'm sorry that this had to come up."

"Thanks. Maybe we'll take you up on that offer soon." Belldandy
said.

"As long as Akane's not cooking and that quack isn't around!" Urd
added.

"Hey," Jun interrupted, "maybe I should stay over as well, since
you don't look too hot, Belldandy. Besides, I can help look
after Urd here."

"Thanks, Jun." Belldandy said. "I'll be by in the morning in
case Urd's not up to teleporting. I should be okay by then,
since all I need is some sleep."

After Jun, Akane, Ranma, and Kasumi saw Belldandy leave by the
bathroom mirror, Jun walked back into Nabiki's room and over to
where Urd was. "Hey, you up for moving around some?"

"Hell no." was Urd's reply. "Just give me a few hours in this
debris and I might be able to crawl a few inches."

"Here we go." Kasumi said as she walked in with Nabiki carrying a
couple of spare futons with pillows and blankets. "I'm sorry for
how things are. We usually don't let things go like this."

"That's okay." Jun said. "It's not your fault. We'll make do
with this."

"Just great." Nabiki muttered as she laid out one of the futons.
"My room's a disaster area and I end up hosting a slumber party
with one of my teachers and her prize pupil."

"Now, now, Nabiki." Kasumi chided. "Let's be gracious hosts
here."

"Yeah, yeah."

As soon as they were finished laying out the spare futons and
getting Urd settled in for the night, Kasumi left the room and
bade the three good night.

Urd gave out a low moan from where she lay on the floor. Nabiki
shifted to look at her teacher and said, "We warned you."

"Warned her about what? Akane's cooking?" Jun asked.

"Yup." Nabiki answered.

"Okay, okay, you told me so." Urd muttered. "You sure that the
bioweapons industry isn't trying to get her recipe book?"

"Not that I know of, but now that I think about it, that would be
a good source of revenue..." Nabiki mused.

"Before you try to sell off those recipes, let me analyze a
sample at home. I've got to find out exactly what it was that
knocked me for a loop."

"Not a bad idea." Nabiki replied.

"Hey, Urd, what were you doing over here anyway?" Jun asked.

Nabiki answered for Urd, "She was trying to find out more about
Ranma's fiancees"

"Oh, that." Jun said as she crinkled up her nose. "I can't
understand why a guy needs more than one fiancee!"

"Hey, I heard that you've got ninety percent of the male students
after you, Jun, so I wouldn't talk."

"It's not my fault! Urd here's the one who designed that outfit
last weekend."

"Now there's gratitude for you." Urd muttered.

"Well, I really shouldn't complain." Nabiki said. "After all, it
added to my revenues..."

"You didn't." Urd said.

"You took pictures of me in that outfit, didn't you?"

"Hey, it wasn't as if it was against the rules or anything."
Nabiki said slyly.

"Well, you've already taken the pictures and started selling
them," Jun drawled, "so if you gave me a fifteen percent cut,
I'll be happy."

"Ten and you've got a deal." Nabiki said in her deal-making tone
of voice.

"Done. I really should be resentful, but then again, I did look
good in the outfit, didn't I?"

Nabiki laughed and said, "I heard that they had to spend an hour
mopping the drool off the auditorium floor that night. Anyway,
Urd, have you figured out who you're going back as Ranma's
fiancee?"

Urd lay there for a minute before answering the question. "I
think I'll back Ukyo's claim."

Nabiki narrowed her eyes in the darkness and said, "I hope you
know what you're doing, sensei. Daddy's not going to stand for
this."

"Perhaps, but Ukyo *does* treat him better and is certainly a
better cook." Urd answered as she lay back. "Besides, Akane
might fight for him if she really cared..."

"Is that the real plan, sensei?" Nabiki asked, a sly look cross-
ing her face. When Urd gave her a grin as an answer, Nabiki
continued. "Y'know, it does remind me of the time when I was
Ranma's fiancee instead of Akane..."

"What?" Jun asked, startled at the revelation. "You were Ranma's
fiancee once?"

"Yeah. It was one of my plans, though. I was just pretending to
be in love with him in order to get Akane jealous enough to buy
him back." Nabiki grinned.

"Did it work?" Urd asked.

"Well, it got them closer together for a while, but I didn't get
paid. A mixed success, really."

"Think this plan will stand a chance of working? I mean, Ukyo's
really in love with Ranma, so that might be a problem." Jun
pointed out.

"Nothing I can't handle." Urd answered. "Besides, I won't be
making any guarantees, so they can't nail me on that."

"Well, it'll be tricky to pull off." Nabiki mused, then added,
"But I like it. Count me in on the plan. I'll just pretend to
oppose it."

"Good." Urd said. "I'll probably trust you with love potion
antidotes and such. That way, if Ukyo slips a potion on him,
you'll be able to counteract it when the time's right."

"Similar to the one you slipped Kuno-baby?" Nabiki asked.

"I don't know what you mean." Urd said in mock indignation.
However, Urd knew that Nabiki was on to her regarding that
incident.

"Forget I said it, then" Nabiki said with a wink. "Truce?"

"Truce." Urd replied. "I'd shake your hand on it, but my sto-
mach's still in pain. At least this plan might give Akane the
push she needs to improve her cooking..."

"Heaven help us." Nabiki deadpanned. While Nabiki didn't quite
realize the implication of what she said, Jun and Urd ended up
laughing themselves to sleep.



Next Episode: Demonic Pranks

After two months of surveillance, Marller, Sayoko, and Dorller
make their move in trying to get rid of Urd. After goading
Joat-mon into one of his biggest pranks in class, they use the
incident to try to turn neighborhood opinion against the new
teacher. Will they get away with it? Find out next time in Aa!
Megami-sensei!

All Aa! Megamisama and Ranma 1/2 characters copyright Fujishima
Kosuke and Takahashi Rumiko, respectively. All other characters
copyright Peter Ward, Tim Dunn, Tim Holt, "Snafu", and Ray Yeen.

E-mail all comments, suggestions, etc. to falcon@best.com.
They're always welcome...even the flames to a certain extent ^^;