Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Heart's Desires ❯ Chapter 3

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Dark Heart's Desires

By Lord Raa

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Disclaim-me-do: We politicians live in the real world.

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Part 3 (of X)

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Nabiki stared at Ranma. She was not sure what to make of her sister's transformation from a housekeeper to a bizarre magical girl with penchant for cleaning.

“Are you sure that's what Kasumi wanted?” Nodoka asked hesitantly. “I know that a life of domestic servitude is boring, but I'm not sure that she approved of the costume.”

“Meh,” Ranma shrugged. “Personally, I like it. But that's because it's going to arouse desires in people. If Kasumi wants to go back to the life she knows, then all she has to do is ask me.”

All eyes in the room turned to a cleaning Kasumi.

“Is there a problem?” the Domesticator asked as she finished sweeping up the panda hair.

“Kasumi, are you really happy about this magical girl thing? I mean, you'll have to fend off the perverts,” Nabiki explained. `I hope that this means that I'm not going to be in trouble.'

“Or it means that she'll get some attention from men,” Urd amended.

Kasumi blushed. “Attention, like from Doctor Tofu?”

“I can't see him turning you down, Kasumi,” Mara smiled warmly. “Trust me, if you walk up to him dressed like that and kiss him, you'll know how he feels about you.”

“But I really shouldn't go out dressed like this,” the magical girl protested. “It's most improper.”

“No-one said that you have to fight evil, Kasumi,” Ranma said. “If you want to, you can go back to cooking and cleaning for your family. Hell, if you want to, you can still do that and fight injustice by night.”

“I don't think that that's a good idea, Ranma,” Nabiki said cautiously. “I mean, what if she meets up with Happosai?”

“Shhh! Don't mention his name!” Soun frantically gestured.

“Sweeto!” came a cry from a bouncing bundle.

“I think not!” Kasumi declared. “Dirty thoughts lead to big messes!”

The Domesticator reached into one of her apron pockets and pulled out a bar of industrial soap. “Sneaky Soap Surprise!”

Happosai was stopped dead in his tracks and began to choke on the item that had been unexpectedly thrust into his mouth.

Coughing up the soap, the diminutive pervert looked at Kasumi with an expression similar to that of a whipped puppy. “Kasumi-chan, how could you?”

A kick to the back of Happosai's head cut off any more attempts at manipulation.

“Quite easily,” Ranma smirked. “You've got a lot to answer for, old freak.”

“Ranma?” the pervert asked from the floor. “What happened, why can't I get up?”

“Because I have got my strength back, you old goat,” Ranma laughed. “And I feel the need to repay you for that moxibustion point. Ooohh, you want to bury your face in cleavage, do you? Well, that can be arranged. Would someone be so kind as to hold Pops down?”

“Son, what are you planning?” Nodoka asked. “I'm not sure that I like where this is going.”

“Don't worry, Mother, I'm just granting a desire. It's what I do these days,” Ranma winked.

As Mara and Urd help an unconscious Genma down, Ranma hoisted Happi up by his neck. “Prepare for a rude awakening.”

The early evening was filled with the screams of the Grandmaster of Anything Goes as the Lord of Desire forced the face of the most prolific pervert in Nerima into the ward's most notorious glutton's ass cleavage.

“Oh my, that's just wrong, Ranma-kun,” Kasumi admonished.

“I know,” Ranma smiled evilly. “But to make up for it, I think it's time to grant a desire in the manner it was intended. Does anyone have any suggestions?”

“You could get a huge fortune,” Nabiki casually mentioned, “with no strings attached.”

“And why would Ranma want to do that?” asked a smirking Urd. “I mean what would you learn if you to just acquire a large some of money?”

“I'd learn how much I like shopping,” Nabiki smirked back. “Come on Ranma, make with the wish-granting!”

“It is a rather selfish desire,” Ranma mused. “I'm not sure if I should. What do you think, Mara-chan?”

“It's all relative, you know,” the demoness shrugged. “What constitutes a large sum of money varies from place to place.”

“You are absolutely right,” Ranma flashed his demonic girlfriend a killer smile. “Here, Nabiki, try this.”

Clicking his fingers, Ranma made a square box appear on the table next to the teapot.

Hesitantly opening the velvet covered box, Nabiki peered inside. “Uncut diamonds?”

“Yep, approximately half a million US dollars' worth, but before you get too excited,” Ranma started his warning, “you can't spend them because they're what's known as `conflict diamonds'.”

“What are those?” Kasumi asked.

“The gems that are mined by child labourers in war-torn Third World countries and have international embargoes on their trade,” Urd clarified helpfully.

“Thanks,” Nabiki muttered bitterly. “This is hardly what I had in mind, Ranma.”

“Well you should have realised that you have to give in order to receive. Kasumi has parted with an amount of dignity for her magical powers. The old freak is suffering for his desire to nuzzle cleavage,” Ranma said in a lecturer's tone. “You wanted something for nothing, and I'm not prepared to do that at the moment.”

“Ok then, I understand now,” Nabiki smiled. “What sort of thing do I have to give up for some wealth that I can use as I want?”

“I want you to help Akane,” Ranma answered after a moment's contemplation.

Nabiki was surprised by this condition. “Help her how, exactly?”

“I want you to help her find happiness,” Ranma replied with a smile. “I want you to make amends for the way you treated her.”

“What do you mean, Ranma-kun?” Kasumi asked.

“Selling pictures of her to Kuno,” Urd added. “That was pretty low of you, Nabiki-chan.”

“Now, now,” Mara defended, “she did need to make some spending money, since her father did nothing but lounge around the house all day.”

“That's awful!” Nodoka gasped. “And you call yourself a man?!” she scolded the Tendo patriarch.

Soun looked suitably ashamed when the kimono clad woman pointed her katana at him.

“Can you believe that he and the panda had the nerve to lecture me about honour?” Ranma said in an aside to Urd and Mara.

“Such hypocrisy,” Urd shook her head. “What do you think, Mara?”

“I'm shocked and appalled, Urd. Personally, I think that we should leave this place and get to know Ranma a lot better,” the blonde said as she stroked Ranma's chest. “Let's leave these not so nice people and spend some time getting to know each other a lot better.”

“That sounds like a plan,” Urd nodded. “Where shall we go?”

“You should come with me to your home, son,” Nodoka suggested. “I would like to hear about your adventures.”

Ranma considered that option. “Will there be food?”

“Yes,” Mrs. Saotome said happily.

“Then, I think it's time I got reacquainted with my mother,” Ranma announced. “Mara-chan, Urd-chan, let's go.”

The immortals all held hands and followed Nodoka out of the house.

“Hey! What about my fortune?” Nabiki shouted after the visitors.

“I changed my mind. You get nothing,” Ranma replied not even turning to face her.

“You can't do that! You promised me a fortune!” Nabiki called out.

Ranma turned around and showed her his most arrogant smirk. “I decide what desires I grant and how, not you. Before you plot your petty revenge, I think you should know that I can alter people's desires. How do you feel about Kuno?”

Nabiki's face lost its colour. “Y-you wouldn't…”

“Let's just say that I don't have the inclination at the moment,” the Lord of Desire grinned. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get reacquainted with my mother. Do what you wish with the panda.”

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A while later and Akane was slowly walking home. She wondered how her off-and-on fiancé was doing. Her arrival at the dojo was made only slightly more notable when she saw that Genma was panicking about something.

“Probably wondering what to do about Ranma's problem,” she mused. “Or more likely what he's going to do about joining the schools.”

What she didn't expect to see was a severely traumatised Happosai shivering and complaining that “he'd never be clean again!”.

But that was until Kasumi took notice.

“Did I miss something?” the brunette asked innocently. Striking a pose, she called out what sounded like some freaky magical girl's activation phrase.

“I call upon the power of the Cosmic Purifier!”

A swirling mist around seemed to make her conservative yellow house dress disappear, though it kept her modesty. Soon it had dissipated and revealed the Domesticator in all her uniformed glory.

Akane blinked as she took in the sight of her oldest sister dressed in a scandalous ensemble. “K-kasumi?”

“No, young lady, I am The Domesticator!” the apron clad girl corrected. “I shall assist you momentarily.”

She turned to her target. “So, old man, you insisted that I have not performed my duties? Well, take this: Scrubbing Bubble Blast!”

Steel hard bubbles slammed into the diminutive pervert, knocking him out of the house.

“Hmm, I don't think that was enough,” the deranged magical girl said as she considered her next move. “Antiseptic Arrow Storm!”

“GAH!” Happosai screamed in agony as his very soul was cleansed.

“I do not think that he shall bother any of us again. Now, young lady, what is it that I can help you with?” Kasumi's alter ego asked with a pleasant smile.

“What happened while I was gone?” Akane asked, with a hint of panic on her face. “And where is Kasumi?”

The ringing doorbell interrupted the scene.

“I'll get it,” Akane said, not wanting people to think that her family were complete weirdoes.

She was surprised to see a courier standing at attention.

“Can I help you?”

“Good afternoon, I have a package for Akane Tendo. Are you able to sign for it?”

“Yes,” Akane nodded as she made her mark on the clipboard. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” the courier bowed.

Tearing open the padded envelope, Akane saw that she'd received a letter.

`Dear Akane,

By the time you read this, the Ranma you know will be no more.

Don't worry, I'm not dead, but we can never marry.

I want you to know that I want you be happy, and I don't think that us marrying will make that happen.

I'll explain why in this letter, but you should read it somewhere more private.'

Akane looked around to see that Nabiki was curious as to why Akane was standing there with the door open.

“What is it, Akane?” Nabiki asked calmly.

“It's personal,” Akane shot back. “Call me when dinner's ready.”

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Nabiki sat in her room, thinking about the sudden and, quite frankly, bizarre change in Ranma.

`He's supposed to be an easily manipulated jock,' she thought angrily, `when the hell did he get the kind of power to make diamonds appear?'

“And what has that idiot done to Kasumi?” she asked out loud. Sighing, she realised that answers weren't going to come to her is she sat in her room. This called for a plan of action.

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Akane lay face down on her bed as she read the letter.

`Akane, you were one of the few people to be unconditionally nice to me, and for that I am grateful.

No doubt you're wondering how I've managed to spell correctly and write in such legible handwriting. Well, the answer is that I'm no longer human.'

Akane frowned when she read that part.

`Yes, you read that correctly. I'm now the Lord of Desire. I grant people's desires as and when I see fit. Sometimes that means good things happening to bad people, but there is supposed to be balance.

`That is why you may see me in the company of two women. One of them is a goddess, the other is a demoness. Their job is to make sure that nothing too evil or too good happens.'

“A likely story,” Akane snorted. “I bet he's doing all sorts of perverted things with them.”

`Yes, I will be doing all sorts of perverted things with Urd and Mara. It's part of my new nature to do that sort of thing. Besides, ask your sisters what they look like.

`Because you never tried to manipulate me for personal gain, I'll do my best to make sure that Kuno never gets his filthy hands on you.'

“Thank the gods for that,” the youngest Tendo sighed in relief. She continued Ranma's letter.

`In case you're wondering why I'm explaining things like this in an adult manner, you always wanted me to understand your feelings better. I'm sorry for being such a jerk, I hope that you're not too heart broken about this “Dear Jane” letter. It's just that I'm pretty sure that things wouldn't have gone so well if I'd told you this in person.

`I know that you're a great person; you just need to take it easy when trying out new things.

`Be strong, Akane, and look after yourself and your friends.

`Take care,

Your friend,

Ranma Saotome.'

Akane sniffed when she finished the letter. “Baka,” she whispered.

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Ranma smiled as Mara and Urd snuggled up to him on the Saotome family sofa. “You two are just so much fun to hug, you know that?”

Nodoka looked on in approval. “So then, Ranma, what did you learn on your trip?”

“From Genma? Not that much,” Ranma shrugged slightly. “I mean he taught me the basics or martial arts, but after that, he always had me learn things from other masters…”

“Is something wrong, son?” Nodoka asked, concerned evident in her voice.

“No, it's just that the Saotome style wasn't really taught by Pops, but by others. I'll be sure to thank him for that,” Ranma muttered darkly.

“I see,” Nodoka nodded. “Well, what can you tell me about your new calling?”

“I'm still a little fuzzy on the details, but that's because of the reincarnation process,” Ranma explained. “Urd-chan and Mara-chan know more about it than I do.”

“Ranma can grant and deny people's desires,” Mara said with a smile as she traced patterns on Ranma's chest with her index finger. “He can twist them into hideous mockeries of what people want, or he can make their dreams come true.”

“Ranma is also drawn to desires,” Urd started added as she too started to play with Ranma's pigtail, “that's why we met you when we did.”

A thought occurred to Nodoka. “Will you grant my desire and give me a number of grandchildren?”

“I see your plan,” Ranma teased. “The answer is not just yet. To tell you the truth, I need to spend some time with both Urd-chan and Mara-chan to get to know them better and I need to get into my groove for dealing with people's wants and needs.”

“And then you'll have children?”

“Of course, the only question is do I stagger the pregnancies or do I make it so they match up to make remembering birthdays easier?” the Lord of Desire replied. He yawned. “But first, it's nap time. Which room is mine again, Mom?”

“First on the left at the top of the stairs,” Nodoka answered. “But what about Urd and Mara? Where are they going to sleep?”

“I thought we were sharing a bed, Ranma,” Mara answered in a slightly hurt tone.

“We will be, Mara-chan,” Ranma insisted, “it's just that I'm not sure that my bed is big enough for three. You can't expect me to choose one of you by Scissors/Paper/Stone.”

Urd was a little relieved at that comment; she never was very good at that game.

“But first, I need to stop Nabiki from doing something silly.”

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Nabiki sat in her room examining the diamonds that Ranma had left her.

“They don't look too bad,” she mused.

::: POOF:::

Blinking the smoke from her eyes, she looked back at her desk and frowned.

The box had been replaced with a note.

`Nabiki, those diamonds have been returned to their country of origin. It would have been a bad idea to sell them.

Ranma'

“That jerk, I'll show him,” Nabiki vowed, her clenched fist crumpling the paper.

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To be continued…

Pre-reading was done by Chi Vayne as usual.

Well, you probably want to know why I put in the part about Genma's training of Ranma.

Well, it was suggested that aside from the Umisenken and Yamisenken, all Genma taught Ranma was the basics and left the advanced stuff to other teachers. I mean, how often did we see Genma use a Saotome special attack that would actually be useful against something like the Amaguriken? The Cradle from Hell? I think not.

Also, I have decided that being mean to Akane is too easy. That's why she's getting off lightly in this story.

Nabiki is fair game, though.

Are there any other questions?

Until laterer comes