Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Somehow, Someday ❯ Saying Goodbye ( Chapter 4 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]
CHAPTER FOUR: SAYING GOODBYE

Belldandy was sitting quietly beside Keiichi inside the living room, worriedly sipping her Darjeeling tea as she waited for her younger sister to return. She and Urd had decided to leave their sister after seeing her disagreement with who was probably her only mortal friend, since they were sure Skuld needed some time alone. When the clock struck 8 pm and Skuld still hadn't returned however, Belldandy was having doubts.

Just before she was about to stand up and ask Urd if they could look for their sister, Skuld slid the shoji open and quietly stepped inside the house. Keiichi had just looked up from the television as Belldandy moved to greet her sister home when he realized that someone had beaten his girlfriend to it.

"Where have you been?" Urd asked, her voice stern as she watched Skuld slip on a pair of slippers.

"Nowhere . . ." Skuld answered quietly, moving past her sister on her way to her laboratory.

Urd followed her. "What do you mean 'nowhere'? Do you know what time it is?!"

"Goddesses don't have curfews . . ." Skuld mumbled.

"What did you say? You know better than to come home late. Something could have happened to you out there!"

"Oh, just leave me alone!"

"Don't you dare speak to your older sister like that! What is wrong with you?!"

Skuld suddenly turned around, startling Urd and surprising both Belldandy and Keiichi, who were watching from a distance. "Wrong? *Everything* is wrong!! It has been since yesterday!! And who cares if something happens to me? I'll be gone tomorrow anyway, right?"

"That doesn't give you an excuse to act that way!"

"Why are you even bothering with me anyway? I'll bet you're happy! I'll bet you're glad you won't be having your sniveling can't-do-anything-right-always-mess-everything-up brat for a sister around anymore after tomorrow, right?!"

Urd reeled back, stunned.

"I'll bet onee-sama and Keiichi are also happy, because they won't be having any pesky little kid around to interfere with them either!!"

Keiichi stepped forward, a hurt look on his face. "Skuld, you *know* that's not the way we feel about you!"

Skuld stubbornly shook her head. "No, I don't know! I'm just a failure!! I can't even develop any of my powers! That's why Kami-sama is calling me back! That's why he doesn't care what I feel! He's going to terminate me as soon as I get back because I'm nothing to him!"

"DON'T SAY THAT!"

Everyone, including Skuld, stared at Belldandy, stunned with her sudden outburst. The middle Norn was looking at her sister with a stern look on her face, which softened when Skuld bowed her head and stared at the wooden floor. She closed the distance between them and hugged her. Skuld didn't return the embrace.

"Kami-sama would *never* do that to you!" Belldandy said, her voice slightly strained as she tried to remain strong for her sister's sake.

"Then why does it feel that way, Onee-sama?" Skuld asked in a tiny, wavering voice. Her lips quivered, and unsuppressed tears fell down her cheeks. "Ever since Sentaro and I . . . this morning . . . Why do I feel so worthless as a goddess? Am I really just a bother to everyone? Someone who would show up just to hurt the feelings of those around me?"

Belldandy could feel her sister's hurt and confusion as she pulled her sister even closer to her. "Whatever you may feel, Skuld, you will *never* be worthless, and you are never a bother!"

'Then why . . . ?"

"You only have the best intentions at heart. You never mean to hurt anyone! And you had helped us in more ways than you're aware of. Believe me . . ."

Keiichi felt sad as he watched his girlfriend embrace her sister. True, he had thought of Skuld as a bother most of the time, especially with his relationship with Belldandy and her constant interference with the temple's electrical system. [ But if you do look at it overall, some of the stuff she created had actually made our lives a lot easier . . . and safe . . . ] he thought, thinking of Banpei and how he and Urd had once considered him a useless robot until it managed to ward Mara off from the temple. He kept staring at Skuld, wondering with a heavy heart what their home would be like without the ingenious young goddess who had managed to touch his life, one way or the other.

Urd, on the other hand, stared thoughtfully, almost guiltily, at her youngest sister's blank expression, Skuld's accusing words echoing in her head. She and Skuld fought all the time since Skuld first came down from the heavens, and whenever one of Skuld's inventions accidentally messed with her plans Urd always called her a brat, yet she never thought of the consequences that this might result - the conclusion that Skuld could have gathered from her thoughtless comments.

She hesitated, but Urd reached out and held Belldandy's shoulder. Belldandy turned to look at her before stepping aside and letting the oldest of the Norns move closer to the youngest one.

"You . . . stupid . . . idiot . . ."

It was all Urd could say as she and Skuld looked at each other. Yet Belldandy and Keiichi could understand the deeper meaning of her words.

Skuld's face scrunched up. She rushed forward to hug Urd and sobbed.

*****

Belldandy silently closed the shoji behind her as she followed Urd out of their bedroom and towards the living room, where Keiichi was waiting. "How is she?" Keiichi asked.

Urd shook her head. "Terrible. Cried herself to sleep. Again."

"This never happened to her before . . ." Belldandy said as she sat beside Keiichi, a troubled look on her face. "And I'm afraid she couldn't handle it very well."

"This never happened to her before because she never really went down from the heavens until she followed us," Urd reminded her sister. "If she had stayed up there and maintained her job as system debugger, then she could have saved herself a lot of pain."

Keiichi shrugged. "I don't know, Urd. If it weren't for her, this place would have still been full of bugs. Besides, she would have felt pretty lonely up there without you guys."

"Keiichi-san's right. Skuld doesn't really have that much friends up in the heavens either. Her . . . nature . . . keeps her away from others, and she seems happiest when she's on her own, surrounded by machines . . ." Belldandy sighed. "She's only begun to accept the presence of someone else in her life other than us. But now she's deprived even of that."

"Isn't there any way to stop the gate from forming and taking her away?" Keiichi asked.

"Kami-sama had said 'no more excuses.' I guess he already got pretty fed up with our petty excuses not to return . . ." Urd said awkwardly.

"You mean *your* petty excuses not to return. What if there was another accident? Didn't Skuld quoted something from some article or other that would prevent you from going back?"

Belldandy laid her clasped hands on the table. "'Article Twenty-Five, Section Sixteen - Should forced repatriation prove impossible at the scheduled time of said repatriation, the implementation of the decision shall be suspended.' Possibly. But Kami-sama would find some other way. He was really serious this time, Keiichi-san."

"He should give the kid some slack. The excuse he gave was quite flimsy too, you know," Urd commented, slightly insulted that He was not satisfied with how she and Belldandy took care of their own sister.

"Perhaps Skuld would have taken this a little more lightly if Sentaro had been more understanding of her situation," Belldandy said quietly.

Urd clenched her fists upon hearing the young boy's name. "That heartless brat!! As the goddess of love, I'm going to curse him so bad he won't find a decent woman even when he's already six feet under!"

Keiichi shook his head. "I think he's just acting the same way Skuld is right now, Urd. We can't blame him. Especially since he doesn't know that you're goddesses."

"Yes, I'm sure Sentaro's heartbroken as well . . ." Belldandy agreed.

"Then . . . I guess . . . I won't be seeing Skuld anymore . . . ?" Keiichi said softly as he leaned back. He was as depressed as he once was when it was Urd who was being ordered to go back. Skuld was almost equivalent to what he could consider a younger sister, much like the way he looked at Megumi, and both he and Belldandy always found the need to protect her, being the "youngest" one in their "family," even if, being a goddess, she probably *was* pretty older than Keiichi was.

"I suppose . . . all we can do now is hope that Skuld would return to us some time in the near future, which hopefully won't be more than a thousand years . . ."

Keiichi winced.

"You know . . . this shouldn't be too much of a problem for us, Bell." Urd said quietly. "After all, you and I could still visit her whenever we want to."

Belldandy nodded slightly. "I . . . I suppose . . ."

She bit her lip.

[ . . . Then why am I not relieved? ]

Belldandy looked at her sister.

Urd did not seem convinced by her own words either.

*****

Skuld packed the latest issue of her favorite manga inside her backpack, which, strangely enough, already contained far more than it could have handled. Pulling on a string to close the bag's opening, she stood up, slung the pack to her back - which perhaps did not even weigh more than a few pounds - and turned to face Urd, who had been watching her from the door to her room.

"Are you sure you want to leave early?" Urd asked, as Skuld's eyes averted from her gaze.

"Is there anything left for me here?" Skuld replied bitterly.

Urd bit her lips to resist the urge to say that her family was still there, and that they were not in any hurry to let her go. Belldandy had warned her not to upset their sister more, so when Skuld had announced that she planned to return on her own without waiting for the gate to appear, it had been difficult for Urd to swallow her anger and keep her mouth shut. But she was managing it somehow so far, and she intended to keep it that way. There was no need for the both of them to be at each other's throats before her little sister leaves.

". . . I thought maybe you'd like to spend the rest of your time here with Belldandy . . ." Urd said, rephrasing her thoughts. "I mean, she was the real reason why you were here in the first place . . ."

Skuld frowned. That *was* true, although all she really wanted was to get rid of the loneliness she felt when she was left to manage Yggdrasil without her sisters to keep her company. "I think I've bothered her quite enough," she said quietly, knowing all too well her unreasonable behavior during her early months on the mortal realm.

With Urd slightly behind her, Skuld walked towards the living room, where she hoped to say goodbye to her elder sister before she left. As soon as she got there, however, she was greeted with the sight of an empty room, where two cups of tea, still warm, were the only indications that there were people there earlier.

"Skuld! Over here!" Belldandy called from outside.

Sighing, Skuld made her way towards the small pond at their backyard, where she thought she heard her sister's voice came from. Belldandy stood there, together with Keiichi . . .

. . . and Sentaro . . .

Suddenly blinded by tears, Skuld turned around and ran back inside the house.

Sentaro ran after her. And though Urd glared at him angrily as he passed by her, she made no move to stop him.

"Skuld, wait! Skuld!" Sentaro pleaded as Skuld ran inside her room and slid it shut in front of him. Stunned for a moment, Sentaro laid his palm on the shoji. "Skuld . . ."

"I was ready to go home . . ." Skuld whispered, her back against the door, her entire weight leaning against the wooden frame. "I was ready to forget about *you*!! But you came . . . why are you doing this to me?!"

"Skuld . . . did I hurt you that much?" Sentaro asked softly.

She did not reply.

Sentaro balled his hand into a fist as he rested his forehead on the shoji. "I never meant to . . . the last thing that I wanted to do was to hurt you, especially since I may never see you again . . .

Skuld bit her lip.

"I just . . . I was so confused. I was so angry that you could not tell me everything that I had asked for, without even taking into consideration that you must have had a good reason why," Sentaro continued.

". . . I . . . I wish . . . that you could just stay here with me forever . . ."

Upon hearing what he longed for, a searing pain struck Skuld as if she had been shot by a high level magic spell. Feeling as if her energy had been drained from her, her knees buckled and she sank to the floor, sobs shaking her entire frame.

For although Sentaro's voiced out longing was so much similar to that of Keiichi's wish, *she did not have the power to grant it.* She was a sysop in Yggdrasil - her license dictated that she was a Type One goddess, one who is not meant to conduct business with humans. One who does not have the power to make wishes come true.

Sentaro gingerly tried to slide the shoji open. Upon noticing that there was no protest, he opened the door and, his heart constricting as he saw Skuld crying, knelt down beside her. Hesitant at first, he gathered up his courage and wrapped his arms around her trembling frame. "I'm sorry . . ." he whispered, barely able to trust the normal tone of his voice as he felt himself choking on his rising emotions. "I'm so sorry . . ."

As she was seated in an awkward position, Skuld did not, could not, embrace him back, much as she wanted to. Instead, she leaned against him, and perhaps no one will ever know if her tears at that moment were those of sadness or of bitter joy.

*****

Sentaro watched as Skuld's family made the final preparations for her trip home. Keiichi swung a single bag into his motorcycle's attached passenger seat, while Belldandy gave her little sister a red helmet to wear on the trip. For a while, Sentaro wondered why Skuld's sisters were not accompanying her to the "airport", but he felt that he was in no position to ask. He was intruding enough with their goodbyes as it was.

"Have a safe trip," Belldandy told Skuld, hugging her tight.

After making sure that Sentaro was out of reach, Urd leaned down towards her youngest sister. "We'll meet you there . . ." she whispered.

Skuld nodded. Slowly, she turned towards Sentaro, who looked at her awkwardly.

"I . . . I noticed that you only had one bag to take home . . ." Sentaro said, placing his palm at the back of his neck. "It . . . it kind of raised my hopes that you will be back someday, seeing that you didn't carry all of your stuff and all . . .

. . . but then . . . I guess your sisters can just have the rest of your stuff delivered, ne?"

Skuld turned her eyes away from Sentaro. Gazing at him pulled strings in her heart, resulting in emotions that were almost too painful to bear, and she did not wish to cry again as she had earlier.

"I promise."

Skuld looked up, surprised.

Sentaro walked towards her, daring to come so close that he could almost feel her breath on his face. He saw the pendant that he had given her during one of his trips hanging around her neck, and he reached out and grasped it gently within his palm.

"I swear that I will never forget you."

Noble Scarlet need not intervene this time. On her own accord, Skuld leaned forward and kissed his cheek, transferring the look of surprise from her face to his.

She cannot make a contract with him. Even if she did not have the capability of granting wishes, she cannot make promises with him. But she can make promises with herself. One that she was sure she would be able to keep. "I promise . . . I will never forget you, either."

Keiichi nervously looked up at the skies, which were starting to gather ominously above them. "Skuld . . ."

Sentaro released her pendant, and Skuld ran towards Keiichi's motorcycle, a hand over the treasured necklace. [ And may this be a witness to that promise . . . ] she thought to herself.

Sentaro stayed in front of the temple steps until the motorcycle was out of sight, failing to notice that Belldandy and Urd had disappeared from behind him. It was only when he was riding on his bike on his way back home that he remembered that he had forgotten to say goodbye . . .

*****

Somewhere, in a small lake hidden by trees just behind the temple, a young goddess bade goodbye to her sisters and the one mortal that knew of her divine origins, content with how she and her friend had parted. And as she magically started to return to the heavens, she prayed with all her heart that a parting without goodbyes will grant them a future together.

Somehow. Someday . . .



Japanese words used:
kami-sama - Almighty
onee-sama - big sister
shoji - sliding panel door