Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Trial By Tenderness ❯ Part 7 - Encounters ( Chapter 7 )

Part 7: Encounters

 

The night was subdued with quiet in the temple. Each room's dreamers were gifted to a deep slumber. Keiichi woke up at dawn and saw his love, Belldandy, curled up next to him, sound asleep. His mind raced momentarily at the unexpected sight, until he recalled that she had climbed in his futon while he was asleep last night. His mind replayed those magical words...when Bell-chan told him that she wanted to spend the night with him, in his bed. She appeared so out of place nestled next to him, but he felt in his heart of hearts that she did belong in his bed. Her small mouth was smiling, and her eyelids would occasionally flutter her long eyelashes. Her hair billowed out onto the futon and sprayed against his chest. She was curled up, her feet warmly tucked under his legs and her arms pulled tight to her chest. Keiichi felt a dream-like awe at the simple beauty of this waking moment.

Keiichi sighed with relief when he realized that he didn't wake up with his hands touching her someplace where they didn't belong. He had been worried that somehow his hands would wander inside of her pajamas while he was asleep. Having never slept with a woman, he had no idea about what would happen. Happily, his arm was draped over Belldandy's waist and his other arm was under her pillow. He felt a pins-and-needles sensation in the arm she was sleeping on, and he gently pulled it out from under her pillow, trying not to wake her. 

"So this is what sleeping together is like: arms falling asleep, laying still next to each other, watching each other's serene beauty in the midst of a downy slumber," he whispered. He wondered how long Belldandy had looked at him before she joined him in his futon bed. 

Keiichi was a restless sleeper by nature and often moved around a lot in his sleep, sometimes waking up with his head at the base of his futon. But with Belldandy sleeping next to him, he had somehow slept in the same position all night. For indeed, he awakened to find her cuddled snugly against him, sleeping in his arms.

He looked closely at her. He had kissed her enough times to know what her face looked like, really close up. But seeing her this still, this...precious...stirred a strong sense of love in him. He reflected on how much she must trust him, because she was willing to sleep in his bed. She was gracefully innocent and vulnerable from this vantage point.

His appreciative mood was cut short by the sound of rapid footfalls in the hallway. He heard a door slam open.

"Big Sister!!! Belldandy!!!" Then he heard steps racing up and down the hall: thump, thump, thump!

"Oh NO!" he thought with dismay. Belldandy stirred at the noise, and woke up, smiling at her beloved Keiichi, then noticing the anxious look flushing over his face. The romping footfalls stopped in front of his door, and an agitated Skuld slid his door open. Her eyes flashed large with emotion as she saw her sister lying next to him, looking back at her with a slugabed eyes. She fixed her eyes on Keiichi, who, by this time, had instantly broken out in a cold sweat.

"You...p..pervert!!! You...sex fiend! What did you do to my sister? How could she...? How could you? What did she...? What did you...?" Keiichi felt a tingling sensation on his forehead. Skuld's power of word projection, no doubt.

Belldandy laughed despite herself when the words "Sex Fiend" appeared on Keiichi's forehead. There was a delicious irony in the situation that wasn't lost on her: Keiichi's guilt-flushed mien seemingly cast him in the role of a sex fiend who was caught red-handed...while in reality, he was anything but. It was so hilarious!!! She grabbed a small mirror and held it up so Keiichi could speculate upon his own image in the mirror.

"Sorry, tee hee, my dear Keiichi, but...it's so funny because it's so...wrong! You're anything but a sex fiend, dear!" 

Keiichi looked at her with an expression that shouted "and you think this is funny?" Then he turned to Skuld and fixed her with his resentment.

"Ehh! Can't you knock before coming in, Skuld?" Keiichi said in exasperation, as he looked at the handiwork of Skuld's 'power' in the hand-held mirror. The power she had discovered a year and a half ago.

"You tell me, ecchi Keiichi! That's my sister in your bed! Explain that why don't you?" she replied icily.

"I am not a sex fiend, Skuld! Not even close! I really would like to, oops...well I want to someday...uh, I mean that I have often thought about... Errh, well, I'm a man and men really like to have s..." He was a picture of frustration as he indicted his inner feelings while trying to explain his innocence. Keiichi was hanging himself with his own attempts to explain himself.

"SEX FIEND! You better not have touched my sister, Keiichi, or I'll...I'll... Ugggh! This is so sick, a mortal and a Goddess doing the...I can't even say it, it's too horrible to think about! If you tried anything with her, I'll... You let her in your bed, so obviously you two must have... Y..You're the worst! It's unspeakable!" she stammered angrily.

"You'll do what, Skuld?" Belldandy said to her younger sister. Belldandy had a disarming smile on her face, but the tone of her voice made it clear who was the elder sister in this discussion.

Keiichi had quickly ducked under the covers when Skuld started up anew with invective. He slowly lowered the bedcover, peering over it as he sat up in bed. Belldandy pulled herself up and sat up next to him, leaning back against his chest and shoulder as if she belonged there.

"No, no, no, no, nonononono!" Skuld said agitatedly. Unconsciously, Skuld was stamping her right foot on the floor with righteous anger.

"Skuld, dear, we need to clear this up before there's any misunderstanding and someone gets hurt. Okay?" The youngest Goddess scowled, and then reluctantly nodded her head. Belldandy patted a spot next to the bed.

"Come sit down here Skuld, and we'll discuss this."

"N..no way! He touched you...how do I know that he won't touch me?" she said suspiciously. Keiichi held his hand to his forehead in frustration.

"Skuld! Sit!" Belldandy growled, her voice scaring Keiichi more that it seemed to intimidate Skuld. Skuld cautiously sat down on the mat next to the bed. She was worried that whatever 'bug' had caused Belldandy to fall in love with a mortal would somehow be contagious, and that she would catch it! She delicately arranged her feet under her and folded her arms tightly over her chest.

"Skuld, Keiichi-san and I have been together over three years, right?"

"Yeah? So? That still doesn't make it right!" she declared.

"You know how I feel about my dear Keiichi, Skuld. You've known for a long time, yet still you haven't accepted it."

"And I won't, either! Nevernevernever!!!" Belldandy sighed loudly at her younger sibling's resolute stubbornness.

"Sometimes in life, Skuld, there comes a time when one has to let go...because holding on would cause greater harm. Do you know what I mean, Skuld?"

"He's making you try to trick me, Elder Sister!"

"Skuld, nobody is trying to fool anyone here. Do you remember the time we went to the house in the country, and that ghost-lady Chieko Honda confused Keiichi with his grandfather, Hotaru-no-suke?" Skuld nodded her head at this memory of a vacation gone bad.

"Well, if I hadn't let go of Keiichi-san, just for an afternoon, so he could fulfill his grandfather's promise to her...well, Chieko would probably be still be haunting us right at this moment. And you know what that would mean?..." Skuld gave a little shudder when she thought of a ghost in the house.

Skuld had a total and absolute revulsion towards any kind of ghosts. She swallowed her breath as she remembered when Keiichi brought that weird friend of his from school. Shiho Sakakibara, the girl who thought she was a spiritualist. Instead of exorcising the ghosts, Shiho accidentally invited a bunch of ghosts into the house...which almost frightened Skuld all the way back to Yggdrasil. 

"But what did ghosts have to do with Keiichi and Big Sister Belldandy?" she wondered. She grudgingly admitted that Belldandy had a point...whatever, as long as there were no spooks in the house.

"You want me to be happy, don't you, dear sister?" Belldandy asked after seeing dawning comprehension on Skuld's face.

"Yes. Of course! But with a mortal...it's just not right. You deserve better than Keiichi!" Keiichi heard this and hung his head in shame. Her thoughts wandered down corridors that were painted with the words "What if she's right? Skuld is the Norn of the Future." A filigree of sadness and fear pierced her heart.

"How would you know what I do or don't deserve?" Belldandy gently remonstrated. "Every being is different in the universe; no single being can full understand another's purpose in life. That is what is beautiful about this thing we call existence. We all have paths, which remain a mystery to ourselves as well as a curiosity to others. What you may think is bad for me, Skuld, may actually be good. Remember back when I broke my divine seal when Urd was possessed by the Ultimate Destruction Program. You felt that it would be very bad for me, remember. You were terrified that I would be punished for breaking the seal..." Skuld nodded her head in assent.

"But yet, it helped defeat the Ultimate Destruction Program, and more importantly, it saved our dear sister. And the Almighty overlooked it despite the fact that it was a flagrant breach of regulations."

"Belldandy...Elder Sister...but you're a Goddess and he's only a mortal. What if you fall in love? What if you have children?"

"Skuld, I am already in love with Keiichi-san! If you were just a little older, you would easily understand this fact. Your Big Sister Urd already knows that I love him. Why can't you accept it? The Ultimate Force must have brought him into my life so that I could learn how to love him!"

Skuld couldn't argue with this. But she was still opposed to such an open display of affection as Belldandy sleeping in this mere mortal's bed.

"But I want you to sleep in the room with me! I can't have...snfff...just Urd there with me, I need you too!" she stubbornly demanded, then started to cry. Belldandy was touched to the quick by her sister's strong display of affection. She knew that Skuld felt very protective towards her. But now it was time for Skuld to be protective of her in a new way.

"Skuld, I know that you care deeply for me. Please listen to what I'm about to say. I plan on spending the rest of my life with Keiichi-san," she said, almost as if she was announcing it for the first time. Keiichi's feelings of inadequacy dissolved as he heard the determined air of her pronouncement.

"If you're opposed to my decision, Skuld...then I will feel much less happy, because my love for Keiichi would always draw ire from you. By protecting me in your own mind, you will cause both Keiichi-san and I to feel uncomfortable. But if, instead of opposing how I feel about him, why can't you try to learn to live with it? Please? Keiichi-san is a good man, a decent man. I slept with him last night, and he didn't do anything wrong. He didn't do anything sexual, the type of thing that a man would normally do."

Blushing, Keiichi hung his head in acute embarrassment at her remark. Belldandy noticed that she had once again shamed his manhood, and covered her mouth in apology.

"What I meant was...that he respected me, like a real gentleman would do. And that is why I love him so much, because he does respect me!" she exclaimed with a beaming smile.

Skuld had to nod her head in acknowledgment of this point. Keiichi had never mistreated Belldandy before, except by actions of omission, like the instance he couldn't buy her a ring after the race two years ago. She remembered how he stayed out late during the holiday season working odd jobs in order to save money to buy her a ring that first X-mas. He definitely had never forced Bell to do anything against her will, nor did he ever harm her intentionally. The only harm he had caused her sister was due to the meddling of Urd or Mara. Then Skuld regarded her own relationship with him...about how Keiichi had treated her.

"Keiichi has always been nice to me, except for treating me like a kid all the time and teasing me about Sentaro and Tomohisa," she remembered.

"Maybe he is right for my dear sister. Just a little bit..." she thought to herself with some reluctance. Belldandy could see the conflicting emotions on her little sister's face.

"Skuld, after three years with Keiichi, I have decided that we need to get closer. I need your acceptance and help with this, because I have never loved a mortal before. I just don't know what to do some of the times when I'm with him. Those are the times when I need to draw upon my courage and face the unknown. I'm going to ask you to draw on your own courage and try to accept Keiichi into your life. If you try to look within your heart, you know that Keiichi is the right man for me. Please give this some thought!"

"But sister, what about?..." Skuld protested falteringly.

"Please, Skuld," Belldandy asked, looking at her younger sister with pleading eyes. Keiichi knew that no one could resist his girlfriend when she looked at them 'that way' with her sapphire eyes. Skuld knew it too, and reluctantly backed down her ire.

"Okay, Elder Sister," Skuld replied deferentially. "But you have to promise to sleep in our room every six days for each day you sleep...here!" Belldandy agreed to this, much to Keiichi's disapproval. He had been so excited at the prospects of Belldandy sleeping with him every night...and now his hopes were dashed!

"Don't pout, Keiichi!" Skuld said, noticing the face he pulled.

"And if you so much as hurt her, or touch her like a pervert, I will make Banpei turn you into a big pile of sashimi...verrrrry slowly!" She turned on her heel and walked out of the room.

Keiichi looked at Belldandy, "One night a week?"

Belldandy looked at Keiichi, "Sashimi?"

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

I woke up to polyphony of birdsong. It was late in the morning, and the house was already up and about. I meditated on the events of the past weekend: the possession by Mara; Keiichi's winning the International Solar Car race; the whole strange trip about the God's Music. Strangely, my face didn't feel tender. I touched my face in several places, expecting pain to shoot out from any pressure on the skin, but I felt nothing.

I walked down the hall to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. All the injuries to my face were gone! I gasped with astonishment, and then the realization sank in that one of the Goddesses must have somehow healed me. I breathed a silent thanks and soaked myself in the bath.

Clean as a whistle, I cantered into the kitchen. Keiichi and Belldandy had already left on a walk, Megumi told me. Skuld was in her room finishing her invention and Urd was nowhere to be seen. The house was quiet. I looked at the clock! It was 10 am already! I was going to miss my appointment with Dr. Ogawa!

Megumi noticed the panicked look written on my face and asked what was wrong. I told her that I was going to be late to an appointment.

"You can borrow my Honda Metro scooter. Keiichi and I just got it back this morning, right before he and Bell left," she offered.

"You're a godsend, Megumi!"

I told her that I wasn't good on motorbikes, but she countered my arguments with a promise to show me how to operate it. We went out to the garage and she pointed out to me all the brakes, accelerators, etc.

"It's just like riding a bicycle, Cevn," she smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, right!" I thought to myself. I took it out on a test drive around the temple grounds. To my surprise, it did seem pretty easy to drive! I thanked Megumi for letting me borrow her scooter and drove off to find Dr. Ogawa's office.

Sometimes, being in Japan creates the impression that everything was intentionally confounded here, just to confuse Westerners. This was one of those times. I was disoriented moments after joining traffic on the street in front of the temple grounds. For one thing, traffic flows to the left, just like in England and many European nations. Motoring against my instincts, I found out what the reversed traffic situation was like when I made my first right turn and choose the inner right lane, only to face oncoming traffic and a bevy of horns honking their irritation. Everything was opposite what I was used to in America. I rode the scooter like a beginner, much to the consternation of my fellow commuters.

"Thank God it isn't morning rush hour!" I silently rejoiced.

After a short ride, I arrived at my destination, the familiar butterflies on the building catching my eye. I parked the motor scooter and climbed off of it, feeling a slight aftercase of tremors resulting from my nerves being assaulted by the vicissitudes of my ride here. Hypervigilant, I entered the building and strode up the stairs, down the hall and into her office.

After a short wait, Dr. Ogawa opened the door and greeted me. We engaged in some small talk, including the big news of the town: the racing victory last weekend by the N.I.T. Motor Club. She had nothing but praise for the "college kids", as she invited me into her office.

She began the process known in therapeutic circles as social history data gathering. She asked me my age, address (I gave my postal box #), identification, etc. Then she asked me about my family.

I told her about my stepparents, how I was raised in an alcoholic household. When I started, I felt the huge soul-eating pain rise up and I just went off. Usually, I could narrate these events with a detached air, but my feelings were charged today.

"I can remember when I was, three or four. My dad had come home drunk, and was angry at something at work. He picked me up and threw me against the wall a couple of times, then started slapping me. My mother was screaming at him to stop, and then he started swinging me around the living room and let go. I remember crashing through the front window of our house. There I was, on the lawn about ten feet past the house. The front door crashed open and I could hear my father screaming, 'why'd you break the window?' Then he started kicking me while I lay on the ground. Then he turned on my mother when she tried to calm him down. The next day, I couldn't stand up. My father acted like nothing happened. Later, as an adult, I realized that he was in a blackout, and that I had several broken ribs and a concussion. But I never was taken to a hospital."

I looked up and saw tears streaming down Dr. Ogawa's aged face. She looked at me with sadness and pity.

"I don't think we should talk any more about your parents today."

"That was just one incident, Dr. Ogawa. There were a whole lot more." She looked at me and explained that she was too upset to continue with this part of my history, and that it wouldn't help matters if she was too emotional to be able to maintain a professional detachment.

I agreed to this, so she shifted to questions about my drug use history. I told her about using marijuana at age 7 with my older brother, then graduating to harder drugs. By age 14, I had used all the drugs out on the streets, and had begun to inject. I told her about taking 50 yellows and getting my stomach pumped at 14. Then I told her about the many overdoses that I had between 14 and 18, when I got clean. She listened and furiously took notes. She was visibly upset by my drug history.

"What made you get clean from drugs?"

I described to her how my live-in girlfriend, with whom I had a common-law marriage with, had left with everything after I was hospitalized for one more overdose. In the next two weeks, I tried to kill myself by drug overdoses, and wound up in a coma for almost two weeks. After coming out of the coma, I felt like I didn't need to destroy my life with drugs any more; in effect, I had received an awakening of the spirit.

She asked me about my recovery, and I told her of my involvement in NA. I described all the activities, friends, stepwork and such that had blessed my life. I had been richly gifted with all the best that recovery had to offer and I had worked hard to get it. Humility and surrender were major directions in my life today, and I deliberately afforded kindness and respect to anyone I met. I described to her the time that I was called on to help someone get off drugs: how I had 'babysat' them through withdrawals, then worked with the initial emotional detoxification, and counseled he and his fiancTe on how to rebuild their relationship. Dr. Ogawa told me that how impressed she was that I had turned around my life, and was now being of service to others, instead of a drain on their resources.

The remaining time of the interview was spent on discussing my 'presenting problem'-- what I thought was the reason I was coming to her to seek help through therapy.

I told her that I had suddenly had to move here from Hawaii, and as a newcomer to Japan, I was experiencing major culture shock. Also, I told her that I had been living with a major depression in the US, and that I was afraid that it would continue to crush my life. I mentioned that I was just hired at N.I.T., and would begin teaching tomorrow.

"I have lot's of stuff that is coming up right now, that I can't really discuss specifics with you. But this stuff has generated a whole lot of emotional crazymaking on my part, and I need you to help me examine it," I finished, eyeing the clock.

"Can you meet with me weekly?" she suggested. I assented to this and she scheduled me in the first slot on Monday mornings. She told me that the next time, she would give me a few tests, and continue with the social history. Then she curtly dismissed me.

On the ride back, I observed how upset she became when I started telling her about my family life and my drug use. I pondered on whether she had dealt with any Japanese clients who had 'been through the ringer' like me. It was curious that she was unable to maintain her professional distance, but I had experienced this several times before. In counseling situations, the therapist would get upset when I really went into my 'stuff', especially the abusive stuff. I still felt some cloying of my feelings in relation to the hells of my earlier life. I hoped that I could keep her as a therapist, even though she got emotionally wrapped in my pain. At least she was objective enough to tell me to stop, so she could recover herself.

I stopped at the Hasegawa Noodle Shop for lunch. The noren was hanging out, surrounded by a colorful arrangement of balloons and pennants. The place was packed with customers and well-wishers; both parents were busy orbiting the restaurant lauding their daughter with beaming smiles of pride. The bright atmosphere was rife with cheer. Copies of the Asahi Shimbun and Chiba Mimpo newspapers were taped to the front door with pictures of the N.I.T. winning team, Sora circled in red magic marker. Several bunches of flowers brought in by patrons decorated the ramen counter, and the walls had congratulatory banners.

"Service will be slow today, but I don't think anyone will care!" I noted good-humoredly to myself. The elder Ms. Hasegawa recognized me from a couple of weeks ago.

"You're the friend of our daughter that came a few days back!" she announced ebulliently. "Isn't it wonderful that our Sora was on the winning team. And from N.I.T., no less! Who would have thought?"

She launched into a reverie of praise for her daughter, the team, N.I.T., Makuhari, Chiba Prefecture and Japan. I listened with empathy, nodding my head patiently. She definitely was allowed braggadocio on this day after the race! I ordered some soba and gyoza and ate hungrily. A group of elderly men behind me were animatedly discussing the race last night, and noted that there would be a victory parade this weekend! The whole city would come out in a festive spirit to celebrate the astonishing victory of the local college kids.

I was grateful that the whole team was playing hooky from school today, until I overheard that N.I.T. was closed today due to the extraordinary nature of the victory. I imagined that it would be a madhouse when they returned to school; they need a break from all the attention heaped on them. I didn't think that the college faculty would mind too much; they should know that the club members would need some downtime after the intensity of the last two days. No doubt this why Keiichi and Belldandy were off somewhere, having some quality alone time. Or at least decompressing from the media blitz.

After eating, I was sorely tempted to ride around town, but I returned home, after doing a few errands. I stopped by the local library and picked up some books, then bought a sack of groceries. I had decided on the fly that I would cook a Japanese-style celebration dinner for tonight. I got home around 3, and saw the note Keiichi had left:

Bell and I are going to the Atami Hot Springs

for the day. Will be back in the evening.

K-1

I had read somewhere that the Atami hot springs, located on the Izu Peninsula, were renowned as a daylong excursion for Tokyoites. Once more, I was glad that they would be getting a much-deserved rest.

"One of these days, I'll check out a hot spring" I promised myself. I had read several books praising the rustic qualities of onsen.

I went to the kitchen and started preparing the dinner. I decided to cook agadashi-tofu, with vegetable sushi and teriyaki beef strips. For dessert, strawberry cake and rice gluten. Tea and soy milk would be the beverages. I studied the recipe cards, and embarked on the surest road to disaster: a guest cooking a foreign cuisine in an unfamiliar kitchen. I had neglected to concern myself with the fact that Japanese kitchens were equipped differently than my own kitchen.

"Ha ha ha! What are you doing? That's not how you do it!" I looked up to see Sora and Megumi laughing at my efforts to cook the tofu. I explained to them that I was going to cook a celebration meal.

"Well you're going to need a lot of help, or a miracle, if you're going to cook dinner. You can't even cook as well as I can, and I flunked Home Economics in middle school!" Sora managed between delighted giggles.

"Your tofu looks like lumpy curry..." Megumi and Sora rounded into more levity.

"That's why they don't have guys take Home Economics, because it would drive the teacher to commit hara-kiri out of frustration! By the way, how did your cooking sensei survive, Sora and Megumi? I've never seen Megumi cook here...perhaps her cooking is even worse than yours, Sora?" I teased. This brought on more laughter from Sora and a scowl from Megumi.

"You take that back right this instant, or neither one of us will lift a finger...and you'll have to deal with your own ruination! Not to mention Belldandy, when she finds out you messed up our dinner and her kitchen," Megumi shot back. I apologized and they both helped me, on the condition that I would do the actual cooking and they would instruct me on procedure. Soon, the 'disaster area' began to look a little more like a kitchen with a meal in progress. After a couple of hours, most of the cooking was done...with no injuries. Urd arrived at this point, and started teasing me about being a woman in man's clothing, since I was in the kitchen. I felt weird about this comment, and explained that I was taking the opportunity to cook a 'victory dinner' for everyone.

"Well in that case, I'm eating out!" Urd remarked icily.

"You know Urd, bachelors usually cook for themselves, and can cook pretty well sometimes. Of course you wouldn't know that, because you've never known a single man long enough to learn this," I replied indignantly. Megumi and Sora laughed at this, while Urd knitted her brows, thinking up a reply.

"You wouldn't know what is would be like to have a woman cook for you, because you're too busy avoiding them. No wonder you have to cook so much...or is it TV dinners? Must be, cuz it surely looks like these two rescued you from culinary disaster, Cev!" I rolled up some sticky rice into a ball and tossed it at her. I flushed red when it hit her squarely on her left breast.

Urd looked at me and smiled, making some comment about how my aim with rice was much better than my jokes, then threw the ball back at me, aiming below the waist and barely missing my groin. She walked out of the room to clean up the 'mess' I had made of her blouse.

Suddenly I felt a sense of panic, as this whole thing was getting too sexual for my comfortability. I excused myself and went to my room. Once inside, I found that I hyperventilating with panic. After about 10 minutes, I returned to the kitchen. Now Skuld had joined the little crowd of observers watching me stumble around trying to cook dinner. Skuld had an excited air about her, and I asked what had lifted her spirits.

"I'm almost finished! I finished the scanner for the Cypheratron Mk. III! You wanna check it out?" Skuld inquired excitedly. Megumi glanced at Sora and suggested to Skuld that we wait after dinner. Sora understood her friend's hint, and began to chat with Skuld about some engineering physics.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

After a couple of hours, Belldandy and Keiichi returned. They both were glowing with...something. They told me about the day at the hot springs. Keiichi looked extremely happy, and Belldandy had smiling eyes all the way through.

Skuld looked at her sister and Keiichi wistfully, as if she was deep in thought. Keiichi related the day's events.

"We got there around 9 and the place was packed. I went over the reservations list with the guy and all the springs and bathrooms were booked up until 6 in the afternoon. Then some couple behind us went 'Hey, aren't you two from the Nekomi team that won the solar race?' This started a reaction from the crowd; they were actually asking me for my autograph!" he related with enthusiasm and surprise.

"Then this nice man offered to let us take his place. He had a private hot spring and bathhouse! We tried to get him to let us pay for it, but he refused. Then he told us that we had done a lot for the nation. Turns out he was some kind of executive for Honda, and when we had beaten the Toyota team, he had won some bets with his co-workers. That was so nice of him!" Belldandy explained, finishing Keiichi's narrative.

"Skip the details! Did you guys get naked, huh? A guy and a gal...alone...in a private hot spring! Sounds pretty sexy to me! Soooo...did you guys get nude and soak in the hot spring together?" Urd asked as she put an arm around their shoulders and poked her head between them.

"Urd, whattaya think? Of course not," Keiichi said as he rolled his eyes at Bell-chan, a tinge of a blush on his face.

"Bell and I both wore our bathing suits, if you have to know!"

"I bet you both wore your birthday suits, and just aren't telling. Hhmmm... On second thought, knowing you two...it probably was swimsuits..." she said with a hint of disappointment. "Whatta drag!"

"You guys better have not have done anything!" Skuld added, finishing the discussion.

Seeing that things had reached an impasse, I told them about the dinner I had prepared to celebrate their victory in the race yesterday.

"I didn't know men could cook, maybe you should talk to the other man in our house about helping out with the meals once in a while," Urd taunted as Keiichi's face turned a little red.

"I do too know how to cook, it's just that Bell-chan is so much better at it than I am!" Keiichi defended. His weak reply drew laughter from all, albeit I laughed less vigorously than the women.

The dinner went over well with everyone. I made sure to thank Megumi and Sora for their assist in the preparation of many of the dishes. The agadashi-tofu had turned out excellent, and the donburi was a great addition. I felt very satisfied with myself that I was able to share this gesture of respect with them. For tomorrow, they and I would be going to school.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

The N.I.T. campus was unusually festive this week, as the school was basking in the glory of recognition resulting from last weekend's racing victory. I saw Dr. Kintaro walking with a bounce to his stride to the Admin. Building; he was completely the opposite of the dour-faced academic I had met during my interview. He did do a double take as he saw that I was wearing a red beret with my black-blonde hair streaming out from underneath.

I searched until I found Watanabe Hall, the miserable excuse for the Humanities Dept. Actually, the building was well kept, compact and at least 80 years old.

"92" the familiar voice in my head said.

Downstairs in the basement, I found my 'office'; a small desk sat against the wall in a small room (broom closet?) with three desks in the room, separated by movable dividers. I was disappointed at first, but then I realized that I didn't have a lot of knick-knacks to cause clutter, so I guess that the small cubicle would do me fine.

I walked into my first class at 10:30 and sat down in the front. There were about 30 students, in desks arranged in rows. I looked over the whole class, and noticed that the whole gang was here!

"Great..." I muttered in exasperation to myself in a low voice. This would make things even more complicated. I would have preferred a class with all unknowns. Except for Megumi, who I knew would be here. Apparently, the school had decided to combine another class with the Yamashita-sensei's Asian studies course. I looked over the class: Megumi, Sayoko, Sora, Toshiyuki Aoshima and...Tamiya and Ootaki. They all had fatigue-laced rings under their eyes.

"Heheh!" I laughed to myself as I saw the two sempai. They were animatedly chatting with some classmates, and when they saw me, all conversation was stifled with shock.

"I'll have to tell Keiichi about this later," I chuckled.

I took a roll call, noticing some very approving stares from the five female students. Megumi was all smiles, her eyes expressing "I know who you are!" Sora grinned sheepishly from under her glasses and I nodded at her. Tamiya and Ootaki both shouted "present!" loudly with feigned militia respect, bringing a brief tittering from their female classmates. Sayoko looked very disinterested and hungover, and Aoshima was blatantly flippant with his response.

"Hello, my name is Cevn. You don't have to call me Cevn-sensei unless you want an 'F' on your next project or you need to do some serious brown-nosing on something relating to the class. The only time you need to call me 'sensei' is in the presence of other faculty. We must at least keep up the appearance of academic decorum." I scanned the room for reactions to this; many of the students were outright taken aback by my informal introduction.

"The reason that I don't want to be called 'sensei' is because I am a student, just like you. I have three BAs: in Psychology, Philosophy, and Asian Studies with emphasis on Japan and China. I have a Masters in East Asian Literature, and a second Masters in Psychology, with emphasis on addiction studies. I am finishing a Doctorate in Conscience Studies that I designed in cooperation with faculty at universities in Hawaii and Beijing. Circumstances have forced me to finish my program here...somehow," I explained. I heard a couple students say "cool!" when I recited my qualifications.

"I have had 4 years college-level Japanese, and two years graduate level. I am fluent in several other languages, including Chinese and obviously, English," I joked.

"Please excuse me if I need you to repeat yourself because I didn't catch it the first time, but be aware that I might know more written Kanji than most of you, and I will expect your papers reflect your best effort!"

"I feel regret at the circumstances that have led me to fill in for Yamashita-sensei. I visited him recently, and he wanted me to tell you all to try hard to work with me, and that he misses you." I looked over the class and saw several students nod approvingly.

"I also received his blessing to teach this class. Incidentally, I plan to have a little party for him at his house at the end of the school year, for our last day in class. It's a surprise, so don't blow it by telling him during these last two weeks of school!"

I didn't like how the classroom was arranged, so I asked the students to pull their chairs to the sides of the class, so as to create a circle. The sounds of shuffling chairs and the faces of curious students filled the air.

"Since I don't know where we left off, I want you guys to teach me what you learned in this course up to the point before Yamashita-sensei got ill," I asked, then started picking students to tell me about the recent subject material. I noticed that Sayoko was inattentive and grilled her.

"Sayoko, since China in the late Ming was undergoing vast economic decline, would you mind explaining the mechanics of the socio-political catalysts of the macroeconomic or transnational milieu?"

"I don't know," she said with a bored voice. I asked her several other questions, and after a series of non-responses, requested her to see me after class. I didn't mean to shame her, but I was worried...it seemed as if she wasn't even present in her body.

I walked up to the chalkboard, wrote "Ming-Qing" at the top, drew several columns and asked them to portray the last century of Ming rule. I noticed that Aoshima was monopolizing the answers, so I prompted him to let the other students have a say. I concluded the class with a brief statement.

"You guys are in for a treat. This is no longer a lecture class. I am going to run this class like the seminar-style classes we have in the USA. Further, I want you to really think beyond dates, places, and names; I want you to be aware of the events as if you had lived them yourselves. This will be difficult for some of you, but I'm going to teach you how to do this. I have taught undergrads and some grad students, so be aware that I'm not exactly fresh-off-the-boat as far as being an instructor. Let's pick up tomorrow with the late Ming literature and what it discloses about the socio-aesthetic world of 15-17th century China."

After the students piled out of the class, a subdued Sayoko came over to me.

"What do you want?" she asked guardedly. I leveled with her. 

"Either you have amnesia, or you've slept in class for almost two months, or you're too shy to answer simple questions in class. Or...you're stoned out of your mind." She seemed to dip her head lower at the last 'guess'. After asking her a few questions about herself, I was strongly suspicious that she was using drugs. She was lethargic in her responses, and she seemed 'dulled'.

"Look, Sayoko, if you are having problems and they are interfering with your academic work, I'm not going to hold them against you, if you talk to me about them. I'm your ally in this class, but I can't help you with whatever, if I don't know what it is!"

"Leave me alone! What do you know about anything!" She stood up, teary-eyed, and rushed out of the classroom.

"That's as clear as an admission that there's a problem in your life...as you could have ever possibly given me, Sayoko," I said aloud to the classroom door. I'm not going to let her keep screwing up like this. And if she is using drugs, she's not going to be able to pull a cover-up past me. Is she in for a surprise if she does!

I taught two other classes, and then my day was over. I wrote an announcement offering to tutor English for free and posted it. I knew that college-level English was difficult, and tutors were expensive. So I thought that I would help some students, since there probably wasn't very many gaijin around who spoke English as a native language. I went back to my office, met one of the grad students who was serving as a TA (they put me in with TAs?) in a History of Engineering class. I made a mental shopping list, and embarked on my walk back home.

I arrived home with two bags of stuff. I had bought a laptop computer for use at school, a couple of Lake Biwa posters, an alarm clock, and various office supplies. Settling down from a tense first day at work, Keiichi walked over and asked me how my day had gone.

It turned out that he was 'the big guy on campus' today. All sorts of attention were cast on him.

"For God's sake, they applauded me in my first class when I arrived!" he said with full-on exasperation.

"Then there were all these girls bothering me all the time. It's not as if they didn't know that I had been going out with Belldandy. Even the teachers were treating me weird. The guys at the Speech Club asked me to give a speech at their next meeting. The gals at the Photography Club wanted me to pose in my racing gear, pin-up style. Geez!" He related to me how this request reminded him of his experience three years ago with Sayoko's 'Art Club', soon after Bell-chan had entered his life. His 'buddy' Ootaki had set him up with a job, which turned out to be as a model for an all-women's painting class! We both laughed at this.

"Hey, that's the price of fame, buddy! Do you think they were going to let you get away with one of the biggest sports upsets in Japanese history?" I comically commented.

"Well, my Keiichi is a hero, you know!" Belldandy said proudly as she joined us. Tuesday was usually her night off as cook, but she had responded to my 'victory dinner' yesterday with one of her own.

"Now I get to see what a real victory dinner tastes like!" I complimented her. The whole compound was filled with a succulent aroma as we settled down for dinner, and Belldandy set out a huge array of dishes. Tempura, donburi, soba, miso soup, teriyaki chicken, and a variety of dessert cakes. It was totally exquisite!

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

After dinner, Skuld had excitedly announced for the second day in a row that she had completed work on her new invention, the Cypheratron Mk. III. Everyone was hopeful, as this invention of Skuld's would be vital in cracking the mystery of the book that Cevn had in his room. If anyone could do it, it was Skuld. After all, this was the same girl who created a bug-zapper dimensional transportation device out of a rice cooker...

Still, there was the problem of Mara. If she was present during the deciphering of the mysterious contents of the book, she could cause a lot of problems.

"We need to be really careful. After all, Mara knew of the book's existence, and had even called it a 'Demon Instruction Manual!'" Belldandy recalled with concern.

"That's simple! Let's just erect a Demon-warding field in his room, and then put Skuld's machine to work!" Urd suggested. Everyone agreed to this, and Cevn's bedroom became a flurry of divine activity, as Skuld set up her Demon Detection System while Urd and Belldandy placed lucky charms in each corner of the room, then sealed the door with a warding spell. Assured that the room was airtight, at least to Demons, the three Goddesses and three humans sat in a circle around Skuld's machine.

From the side, Skuld's Cypheratron looked like a classroom overhead projector: a flat glass base on which to place whatever object was being scanned with an overhead apparatus housing what appeared to be numerous lasers. From there, any resemblance with human technology ended. The base was circular, looking like a flattened sphere, with three 'wing's, one on each side, that would fold up and over, covering the book. Three booms extended up from it equidistantly. It had a circular ring mounted on it halfway up, which extended outwards. It appeared to be a focusing lens for the lighted unit at the top of the mecha. At the top was a triangular piece that housed a very intricate set of machinery. It was reminiscent of the Greek god Argus, with hundreds of lenses and filters, rods sticking out of it at odd angles, and a large set of cabling that ran out of an opening in its back to a display screen and computer housed in a separate machine.

As usual, Skuld's creation looked otherworldly, except for the "Cypheratron Mk. III" painted on it. Skuld was beaming with pride at this invention, her eyes aspark with the kind of gleam a parent has when their kids win a little league game. She stroked the metallic and plastic surface with her gloved hands with an almost sexual caress while explaining its attributes.

"The Cypheratron Mk. III is a polyheuralistic endolingustic scanner and demodulator. It is adept at transferring context polychronicly. The artificial intelligence unit can intuit meaning and value by asymptotic inference channels within cultural data matrices. It possesses a database consisting of all the known language patterns of the Universe, freshly downloaded from Yggdrasil," she noted, her voice as rich as a carillon. She continued with further esoteric claims, and concluded with a bow. Urd patted Skuld on the head.

"Now let's see if it works!" she said dryly, drawing an irritated scowl from Skuld. Urd had heard her share of the younger Goddess's praises for a machine that later turned out to be ineffective.

Urd attempted to pick the book up...and was thrown to the floor, as if she had received an electric jolt. Everybody's eyes grew wide at this. Belldandy and Skuld rushed over to their sister in panic. Urd had a dizzy expression to her face, as if she had been knocked out and was 'seeing stars'. As if once wasn't enough, she tried it again, and once more was tossed across the room.

"Urd! Don't try it again!" Belldandy yelled. Urd looked around sheepishly as she was collapsed in a pile against the wall.

Everyone discussed why the book was doing this. Keiichi volunteered to try and pick it up, despite protestations from Belldandy. He tentatively reached out and touched the book, then grabbed it with the other hand. Belldandy put her hands in front of her mouth while Skuld covered her eyes with her gloved hands. Try as he might, he couldn't lift it.

"Whew!" he sighed aloud; at least he didn't get tossed across the room like the unfortunate Urd. Cevn was shocked by this.

"Why is it doing that? I don't have a problem lifting it up at all!"

"Well, go on! Why don't you lift it then!" Urd urged. "Don't blame me if you get zapped like I just did!" Urd secretly hoped that nothing would happen to Cevn, but expected something unforeseen to occur.

Cevn closed his eyes and reached towards the book. With a flinch, he lifted it up off of the ground.

"Well, put it in Skuld's machine," Urd told him. Cevn set the book square on the machine. Belldandy noted that the book seemed harmless to its owner, but was unmovable to all others. Definitely the work of the Almighty, she concluded.

Skuld pushed a button on a hand-held control, and the three 'wings' closed over the book. Together, they formed a green window lidding over the scanning area. Rays of light poured down from the overhead unit, and were dispersed by the middle lens into millions of sparkles. Inside, the book was being scanned both vertically and horizontally. Skuld flipped a switch on the outboard computer display and images raced across the screen. After over an hour of tense waiting, the images stopped.

"Here it comes," Skuld announced. This was it! The contents of the mysterious book would be theirs! Her smile turned to a frown as the machine displayed:

 

Contents of scanned material are indecipherable.

50% of the inclusive linguistic material matches known language-group 'God's Language" with 100%

correlation. 50% of the inclusive linguistic material is anomalous and indecipherable.

The inclusive linguistic material can only be extrapolated to be theoretical

'Demon's Language' as it fails to correspond with all known languages.

 

"What!" Skuld screamed. "That's impossible. It cannot be written in both the God's Language and the Demon's Language!"

Belldandy put a comforting hand on her younger sister, as she knew that Skuld was bitterly disappointed. This created another, potentially larger mystery. If the 'mystery book' contained both languages, then that ruled out any possibility that the Almighty had created it. This line of reasoning led Skuld to a very uncomfortable conclusion; what if there was something more powerful than the Almighty?

Belldandy's face was feverish with thought.

"Why would this book have Demon's Language, the only language in the Universe that Yggdrasil does not have in its databanks?" she wondered aloud.

"And the only language that we Goddess's cannot read!" Urd added.

"It must be written in the Demon's Language. That's why Mara has been hanging around here so much!" Keiichi exclaimed.

Everyone looked at him. He had stated the obvious, but his words expressed a profound gravity that wasn't lost on anyone, especially the three Goddesses. Cevn looked visibly relieved.

"Then it isn't me!" he said with relief.

"Not so fast!" countered Urd. "How is it that every time we try to move the book off the ground, something happens? But when you try, nothing happens to you?" Cevn looked at her with a guilty face.

"I don't have a clue why, Urd! Believe me, I'm not at all comfortable with this book anyway. Since it's acting so weird, why don't we just get rid of it?"

"So typical of you, thinking with one oar in the water!" Urd groused. Megumi shook her head in the negative.

"No, it is probably indestructible. If it can toss a Goddess on her butt, imagine what it might do if we tried to destroy it. Boom!" she gestured expansively with her hands.

"So if you guys can't read it...and Mara can't read it...what good is it?" Cevn asked in puzzlement.

"If there was only some way we could get Mara here, so that we could work on it together..." Belldandy wondered aloud.

"And have that royal pain in the ass learn the secrets of that book! No way!" Skuld exclaimed.

"Skuld, such language!" Belldandy remonstrated with a parental tone of censure. "But still, you have a very good point, Skuld, even if you didn't need to say it so...forcefully!"

"Sorry, but I'm really fed up with Mara right now. She made Cevn nearly destroy our house, and then made Urd believe it was her fault. And Banpei was nearly wrecked in the process! If she was here right now, I'd..." Skuld shot back.

"Now, Skuld, you're only a kid who's just learning the extent of her powers," Urd said with a disarming smile. "I don't mean to insult you, but Mara is as strong as me, and as focused as Belldandy. She'd be more than a match for you, and I'd hate to see my little sister get hurt even more by her!" Skuld glared at her older sister.

"I am not a kid!!!" she protested with a shout. Then her face softened as she understood the deep concern for her that Urd had just mentioned in front of everybody. She reached over and hugged her oldest sister.

"I love you, Big Sister, even if you are crazy most of the time!"

"What if I could somehow read the book? If Urd could teach me the God's Language, I should be able to piece it together. After all, it was sent to me...which must mean that I was intended to read it," Cevn said slowly, watching all of this with a distant look in his eyes. Urd looked at Cevn, suddenly uncomfortable that he had suggested her as a tutor.

"Why me?" she asked, ready to argue.

"Why not you?" Cevn asked back. "Actually, it would give you an opportunity to make amends and unload some of that guilt you're still running on from the rampage of a couple of weeks ago."

Urd was shocked by Cevn's correct estimation of her remaining feelings from the Mara-Sake Incident of two weekends ago. But she was also touched by the thoughtfulness of his offer: she did feel at a loss to make up for her part, albeit unwilling, in the incident.

"I'll share the duties with Skuld and Belldandy! You need all the perspective you can get, and what better than to get it from all three Norns! But you have to promise that you don't run out of the room if I sit next to you!" she chided Cevn.

"Urd, I cannot promise that. There's a life within me, deeply mired, which causes me to be flighty around women. I'll try my best, but don't expect me just to act like you're not there." Cevn replied.

"Keiichi, you don't mind if I 'borrow' Belldandy for this?" Keiichi looked at Cevn thoughtfully for a moment.

"Well, I guess so, if this will help get rid of Mara! But you'll have to do it when I'm away at school or something, because Bell-chan and I don't get enough time together as it is."

"Understood! How about you, Skuld?" The young Goddess looked at him with mixed emotions, playing with her hair then crossing her arms.

"Skuld, I can't do this without your help. You may have the key to unlock this mystery. And you know that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you...that's why I want you to help so bad!" Skuld looked at Cevn, deep into his eyes, and saw that he was totally sincere. She smiled angelically.

"Yes, I suppose I could lend my expertise and genius!" she said, dishing out the hubris. This brought some much-needed laughter to all present.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

It was getting late, and the house had quieted down considerably since the excitement of the evening. I heard a knock on the door, and Megumi came in, dressed in bright red and orange striped pajamas, and seated herself down on the end of my futon. I felt a moment of panic, my usual fear of being close to women welling up in my throat.

"It's only Megumi," I told myself, trying to quell the urge to run out of the room. I got up and paced around the room a moment.

"Cevn-san, what's wrong?" Megumi asked.

"It's not you, Megumi, it's this damn anxiety around women I have! It's acting up again! I..I can't help it!" I stopped, took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. Then I sat back down on the futon facing her.

"I'm okay now. What brings you to my 'office'?" I joked. Megumi looked at me, confused by my sudden shift from anxiety to light humor.

"I felt a little weird having you teach my class this morning. But that's okay, you did pretty good. What actually brings me here...is that there's this guy."

"Ahhhh, a guy!" I sighed. "Tell me as much as you can feel comfortable sharing, Megumi."

"There's this guy in our Motor Club...his name is Genji. I introduced you to him the other time. Well, he has an older sister who is a lovelorn admirer of Keiichi. Her name is Sayoko, the same one that's in your class with me."

"Yes. I had a talk with her after class. She seems to have a lot of troubles."

"Anyway, Genji seems to like me, but I don't know for sure. He's done some stuff that guys would do when they like a girl."

"Like what, Megumi?"

"Well, he almost always sits down with me at study hall, and he helped me with a major test a few weeks ago, reading my flash cards for me and stuff like that. And he always seems to 'light up' with a big smile whenever he sees me."

"So what's the problem?" I asked, not feeling very comfortable with the fact that she was possibly going to seek my advice. Megumi hesitated, then lowered her voice.

"I really, really like him. I would love it if he asked me to go out on a date with him. But I can't ask him, because if Sayoko found out, it'd be hell for both of us. She doesn't like Belldandy, and it would be awkward if her younger brother was involved with someone who was so close to her rival for Keiichi."

"And in Japan, even more so than in the US, the woman has to wait for the man to ask. And also in Japan, the younger brother has to respect his older sister, right?" I added.

"Yep!" she assented with a half-smile, half-grimace.

"I think that if he spends enough time around you, away from the club and school, you can 'go to work' on him. What does he like to do for hobbies?"

"He likes traditional theatre, for some reason. But I find theatre totally boring!"

"Megumi! That's precisely the point. You need to expand your mind! You just haven't gone to the theatre with the right person. It's like going to an art museum; if you go with someone who appreciates art, then it's a blast! But if you go with someone who's into sports, for example, it can be a tedious mess."

"But I can't afford something like that! Genji and Sayoko come from a rich family. Their parents would frown upon it if their son went out with someone like me." I could see her throwing on the velvet cloth and the crystal ball...

"Hey, you're jumping ahead. You and Genji are not Elizabeth and Darcy, at least not yet."

"Who and who?"

"They're characters from a novel by the English author, Jane Austin. You should read some of her stuff when you get a chance." I gave her a brief synopsis of "Pride and Prejudice" and related it to her situation.

"Sometimes in life, Megumi, one has to jump beyond their own perception of what their limitation are. You say that Sayoko is an obstacle, but if you and Genji really end up liking each other, your love...if you guys fall in love...will be a obstacle to her as well. She'll have to learn to live with it! To accommodate it."

Megumi looked at me, her expression one of sudden insight. It was obvious that she hadn't considered this aspect in her 'future gazing'.

"You know, the Japanese have an idiom that says 'the nail that stands up taller than the rest gets pounded down'. You, Megumi, are that nail. From what little I've seen, as a woman you are far more assertive than what is socially acceptable here. So is Sayoko, from what bits and pieces I've heard. So here's Genji, caught in between two strong women. You know what's going to make him choose you over his sister?"

Megumi seemed threatened by the intimacy of this examination of her personality. She seemed hesitant, and a hint of fear crossed her eyes. I saw it, and reached over and grabbed her lightly on the arm.

"You did want to have an older brother, didn't you? Well, you just have to trust me. I mean...trust in the fact that if sometimes I can see deeper into you then what you may be comfortable with...that I won't use that familiarity with you to hurt you, Megumi." She nodded her head, and I squeezed her shoulder affectionately.

"Well, to revisit what I was suggesting earlier, you're going to have to allow Genji to feel his own strength. You need to empower him, so that when you and he get together, he'll feel confident around you and be able to stand up to his older sister. To do that, you need to meet him on his own turf, so to speak." Megumi absorbed this thoughtfully, then fixed me with an expression that indicated that she agreed.

"Okay, so how do I do that?"

"How do we do that, you mean? I'm going to be a go-between between you two. I've been dying all my life to go see a NÅh play!"

"No way...you'll screw things up!" she said, semi-seriously.

"In the interests of cultural acclimation, I'm going to invite one of my students and her friend who is well-versed in Japanese theatre to a live NÅh performance next weekend, or the following week if there are no tickets available." I said with mock formality.

"My treat for the both of you, too!" I added. This was a forward suggestion from me, and I saw that Megumi had a moment's worth of fear to digest. She very quickly recovered from this, and smiled broadly. 

"You would do that for me?" she said excitedly.

"Of course I would, for my 'little sister'!" I lightheartedly replied. "Hey, it would get you and Genji together outside of school; it would be especially appealing to him since he likes traditional theatre, so he could 'show off'. It will also give me time to get to know him better, so I can help you with your 'situation' with him. Besides, I need to know more about his sister. I think she has a...problem that may require my help."

I was so glad to see how Megumi was receiving this so enthusiastically. She was literally transformed with excitement.

"In exchange, I want you to sit down with me some time and tell me all you know about Sayoko. Okay, Megumi?"

"Sure! Wow! Thank you so much, Cevn!" she said in a thrilled voice.

"Hey, don't mention it!" Megumi gave me an affectionate hug, and walked out of my room, a picture of excitement

"That seemed pretty easy," I complemented myself.

But it was weird as well. I spent so much of my time in fear of women, because of the sexual abuse stuff in my past. But this exchange with Megumi had gone really smooth, despite my initial anxiety. What was up here? I knew that, since Megumi was interested in Genji, this would be a safe topic for us to talk about. But what if a woman showed an interest in me? Would I still freak out? Would I be able to handle it? I thanked Megumi silently; her willingness to spend time with me was lowering my defensiveness towards women in general.

"Maybe, someday, some woman will find something in me that she likes. Maybe I can feel what it's like to be in love again," I said to myself. It had been a long day, but a calm one, I reflected as I went to sleep.