Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Trial By Tenderness ❯ Part 44 - Chimes and Balloons ( Chapter 44 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Part 44 Chimes and Balloons



Shiwasu.
I had overheard this Japanese term with increasing frequency during the past two weeks. Walking amidst the cafeteria buzz at N.I.T., my ears fielded random bursts of "shiwasu" couched in oblique terms. Like it was some kind of secret verbal handshake.
My curiosity piqued, I finally broke out the dictionary and searched it up.
"Shiwasu is an archaic term for the last month of the year," the Shinseido dictionary noted. I naively assumed it was a slang reference to the finals at the end of the Fall term...until I heard Belldandy discussing shiwasu with Keiichi and Megumi. Then, I asked Megumi what this Shiwasu business was all about. Between poignant anecdotes of her brief stay in 2050 and the time she and Sora snuck out of their houses under cover-story of a 'sleepover' and went to Tokyo to see X Japan at the Tokyo Dome on New Year's Eve 1996, she dropped hints about an aspect of everyday Japanese life that I didn't have a clue about. In America, the primary locus of year-end activities was Christmas. But in Japan, a turn of the stone around the sun meant a whole different realm of celebrations. Three days' worth. Finally, Keiichi informed me that Shiwasu was a term used to describe the end-of-the-year frenetic madness that gripped the entire country.
Under Keiichi and Megumi's expert tutelage, I drew up a list of people I 'owed' year-end gifts to. I enclosed proofs of my dissertation book "Magnum Organum: First Consciousness" to Dr. Kintaro, the N.I.T. President who had hired me; Dr. Zhao and Chancellor Wang from BeiDa; all the TAs that shared the cramped little space in Watanabe Hall that we reluctantly called an “office”; not to mention myriad others at N.I.T. Beyond this, it was customary to send New Year's greeting cards to pretty much everyone I knew. There was also the matter of the traditional housecleaning, the special foods and condiments, buying a mon-tsuki-hakama to wear, getting a child's gift for Skuld, the music contest shows on TV, the pilgrimage to a nearby shrine to pray for the upcoming year...
Just a *few* things.
"*If* there's an upcoming year. What's the point of drafting a list if we fail to overcome this stuffed animal situation? By tomorrow, we won't be able to contain them in the house...and then all hell will break loose," I mentally scrawled in frustration. It seemed like making plans was an exercise in futility.

* * * * * * * *

The Ninjettes had departed several days ago for the Snow Country to undergo the traditional mid-winter martial arts training session, Kangeiko. Genji and Megumi had also traveled north, jetting to Hokkaido for a much-deserved ski adventure.
"The Shinobi Girls seem to have the right idea," Keiichi mused. "I could go for some Kangeiko myself." A martial arts image formed in his mind: the traditional misogi practice of sitting under an ice-chill waterfall in a pair of shorts--Keiichi couldn't picture himself wearing the fundoshi loincloth he had worn for 13 years, now that he was back in the 21st century--and meditating on the rewards of disciplined austerity. He fathomed a secret wish; that he wanted to leave with the Ninjettes on their exploits. Better leave it as an unavowed desire. He needed *something*. Sometimes, being with Belldandy alone didn't do it for him. His life right now seemed to have a lot of blanks; which remained as unfilled as a box of mochi after Skuld got into it.
He was still pretty disturbed about Cevn's revelation. Yet, he was comforted by Belldandy's assurance that her sister and Cevn *would* somehow remain together, despite Cevn's reservations.
"Once Urd has a goal in mind, *nothing* will deter her," Belldandy affirmed. Keiichi had to agree. So he had to sit tight and wait. He wished Megumi and Genji were here, sharing in the misery of a house full of stuffed animals.

* * * * * * * *

Being who I am, I didn't have TV or pills to distract or deaden me; my mind with riotous neon clarity kept honing in on my relationship with Urd...like a radar blip illuminating an otherwise foggy screen. My life would remain an unclear haze until I talked to her. I couldn't claw my way past my obsessions; my constant ring of feelings around her. Interpreter of my heart or not, I just couldn't get her out of my mind. If the Greek astronomers knew that Saturn had rings, they would have named them after me. I just hoped she would return soon, so I could grit past my despair and start the process of annulment. Right now, I felt like a wax figure standing in fear of the summer sunrise...
My thoughts returned to the Ninjettes. If Kodoma and Co. came back, they would probably find themselves employed in the wanton slaughter of several thousand textile-crafted animals.
"Do cotton and polyfiber animals have cotton entrails?" I wondered perversely. I almost wished the Ninja Masters *were* here, because I was really starting to hate the unending cacovisio screech of flurried motion. I was wormed into my room because of the damned things.
The house was filled chest deep with stuffed animals.
Fortunately, Belldandy could float...so she volunteered to navigate between our rooms and the kitchen. Keiichi, Tomohisa and I were basically confined to our rooms; the press of stuffed animals made moving around the house quite difficult. Any movement within the house was like struggling through waist-deep snowdrifts. Instead of having meals, I was having collations.
The effluence of the felt-covered bestiary was enigmatic.
Even more enigmatic was the fact that Belldandy's Goddess Powers were somehow rendered useless against the toys. Otherwise she could have just teleported the lot to Yggdrasil, and let *them* deal with it. For some reason, the word "tribble" kept flashing in my mind.
There still wasn't any word from Yggdrasil. Urd, Skuld and Peorth had only departed on their 'mission' yesterday, but I was already pluckily impatient for a resolution to our problem.
My conscience still protested its reprobation on a minute-by-minute basis. I felt like a broken and muddied heel after informing Keiichi and Belldandy about my decision concerning Urd. I could see a moment's trace of pain in Belldandy's exquisite face, an obvious foreshadowing of things to come. Plain as milk, I knew that she was covetously trying to protect her sister from getting hurt. In fact, I wish *I* could protect Urd as well. But I knew that attempting this would be an exercise in frustration; I couldn't even protect myself from my emotional cul-de-sacs, so how would I protect her from her own alcohol-fueled peccadillos?
Yet Belldandy sometimes possessed a Titaniaesque air; a regal sort of unflappability. After recovering from her emotions, she offered a lecture on love that was pinpoint accurate. Who was I to question the wisdom of millennia? Nor could I question her experience in the Present; she so closely bound to Keiichi by the heart, I imagined an invisible aorta pumping love between the two's Souls.
"We're all commanded by Kami-sama to love...this is why love exists in our hearts. When one fails to recognize that love is service, then one is unable to risk deepening their understanding of themselves," she had said last night. Those words *hurt*...the thing I wanted most was to exchange love. But it was impossible, with or without Urd.
A mental vision haunted me: being in a room filled with several Chinese folded screens depicting mountainous vistas; the art was only a meager echo of *real* scenery...yet it could evoke stronger passions within an observer than an uphill climb through the woods, with its verdant tedium. Was I alone all this time because I was enamored of the *fantasy* of being in love...while reality was too intense? I recalled an incident from the second time I was in Beijing; it was forever engrained upon my memory. While strolling through Tiananmen, I heard several members of a tourist group complaining vigorously. "If they show me another old Chinese castle or stone garden, I'm going to get sick," was the gist of their griping. What was precious to some...was ignoble to others. What was precious to me then was the inerasable blood stains on the tarmac; the lifeblood of some anonymous freedom fighter who was standing firm in his or her convictions. To the unnamed martyr, his or her freedom was precious.
Urd was precious to me, but yet I had to put myself first. So I felt uncomfortably ignoble.
I realized that it would probably be for the best good if I moved out of the house after I discussed things with Urd. Living amidst assumed or real hostility from Belldandy and Skuld would only manufacture an oppressive insecurity. Deep in my heart, I *knew* that Skuld would be pissed. If she displayed any of the protective qualities towards Urd that she brandished in Keiichi's face when he was courting Belldandy, then she would be crushed by my announcement.
Keiichi and Megumi would probably feel betrayed as well. I already betrayed them once when I covertly departed for China last summer.
"Why do I keep betraying the ones I am close to?" I wondered, once again examining my motives unsuccessfully. The heart is always suspect terrain, it seems.
But the worst pangs of betrayal and sorrow would be in the witnessing of how Urd would react. I don't think I could handle *that*. My mind had spun loops through estimated prophecies of how she would react...heartbroken, resentful, betrayed, uncomprehending, shocked...but mostly *heartshattered*.
Because of what I was going to do, after New Year's.
Sometimes, I didn't feel like myself. Keiichi had ascertained our situation with an uncanny intuitiveness. This 'year', we had spent 31 weeks in 1384, but only three weeks in 20XX. So I wasn't myself...I was still very much a 14th century samurai one-handed courtier.
I wanted to talk with a *woman*, letting fears slide through my fingertips like so much drifting woodsmoke. Just to have a feminine presence of empathy, so I could try to crucify my guilt and shame. But Megumi, Sayoko and Lin were all out of town. There was no one who could listen. Who *would* want to tune in to my private turmoil?
I wanted to pour gasoline all over my self-pity and set it aflame...

* * * * * * * *

Belldandy kept repairing the damage between Skuld and Urd's hobby rooms, but the stuffed animals responded by mindlessly breaking the wall down again and again. They kept mobbing Skuld's Lab with instinctual abandon, taxing Belldandy by causing her to have to constantly reinforce her shield spells around the house.
Her energy was slowly drained from having to float all day. Having to cast seals and shields all over the house to corral the animals, not to mention physically removing them from the bathroom so Keiichi could take a bath...well, it just plain exhausted her.
Her powers gradually depleted themselves against the stuffed animal onslaught...so she fell asleep in her lover's arms late in the evening. Keiichi knew Bell was bone-tired; he gingerly carried her to her room and tucked her in. Having to wade through the hallway that was crammed to the rafters with stuffed animals, with his arms filled the weightiest concern of his moment, required an enormous physical struggle. Then he spent the next hour physically evacuating the sister's bedroom of its plush occupants.
Belldandy would need a good long sleep to powerup.

* * * * * * * *

Keiichi woke up the next day, dreading the excursion into the hallway. Sliding the shoji door aside, he was relieved to see that the chest-high swarm of animals was significantly diminished. Which meant that Urd and Skuld had found a solution.
His relief dissolved when he felt and saw the chill December air rushing into his room from the hallway.
"Oh...shit!" he thought as he dashed into the living room, almost tripping over several catwhales that were swimming along the floor.
"BELLDANDY!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, despite the certain knowledge that she would awaken only when her power was restored. The pink flush of her face indicated that she would need another couple of hours of sleep.
Every window in the living room was broken.
The animals were on the loose.

* * * * * * * *

"In what is perhaps the most bizarre story of 20XX, Makuhari, Narashino, Inage, Funabushi, Chiba and Ichikawa have been infested by *animated stuffed toys*. Late night workers coming off their shifts last night started reporting herds of 'mutated small animals' darting to and fro in Makuhari. By early morning, thousands of the stuffed animals were observed in the vicinity, capering in open daylight.
"Scientists are at a loss to explain this phenomenon. The animals appear to be harmless, except that certain types tend to attack humans, albeit without any effect. Their behavior appears to mimic real animals. Pedestrians with young children and the elderly are encouraged to *stay indoors* until this crisis is over.
Despite your child's adamant desire to take one of these creatures home for a 'pet', government authorities strongly urge you to not give in to their demands. Authorities are still baffled as the origin or purpose of this infestation. The Self Defense Force has been mobilized to collect and store these creatures until more is known about them. We now have Shino Akahara interviewing Dr. Kenji Nishihara, director of the Xenobiological Theoretics Institute.

(switch to videotape)

"Dr. Nishihara, what do we know about these stuffed animals?
"Well, we have isolated a few specimens for study at the Institute. Dissection is useless, since our scans have indicated that the animals have no special physiology. Physically, they *are* stuffed animals in every respect. What causes their sentiency is unknown, since they do not have a brain as such.
"Citizens have reported that the animals appear to procreate. Can you explain this?"
"Under controlled observation, we've noted that they appear to have a strong mating drive."
"Which accounts for the unusual hybrids of animal types reported by citizens."
"Correct, Ms. Akahara. It appears that they duplicate every eight hours. This could become a problem if it is allowed to continue. We know that the animals can be destroyed by conventional means, such as burning. And at the present, they are mostly harmless, since they are made of cotton and other fibers."
"Various groups claim that they are of extraterrestrial origin. Can you discuss your theory on their origin?"
"I doubt this very much. Each animal carries the manufacturer's tag of one of its 'parents'. We've seen Bandai, Mattel, Disney, Fuji and many other name brands. All investigations indicate that they are of terrestrial materials and elements."
"Do they pose a threat?"
"Most certainly, if they continue to reproduce. Every 24 hours, their numbers increase by a factor of eight. Which doesn't sound like much, but in two days, one billion of these toys would become 64 billion. That represents a significant increase in population and physical mass. Unless we discover a mechanism to stall out their reproduction rate, their sheer numbers could be very deadly."
"Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. This is Shino Akahara, reporting the improbable for you on behalf of NHK Network News."

(switch to anchor)

"Until more is known, the Government advises citizens to leave the stuffed animals alone. This story may bring a wry face because of...its unusual nature...but we will keep you abreast of any developments."

* * * * * * * *

"Damn you, Peorth," Keiichi cursed under his breath as the newscast continued into less spectacular items of interest. The NHK anchorwoman had said it best when she said it was "the improbable". None of the Goddesses, Mara, or anyone else could have possible cooked up such a ridiculous scenario. Worst of all, he knew how deadly it would be for everyone if unchecked. Choked out of our environment by our own toys. What an epitaph for a species!
"When are they coming back, Belldandy? Can't you call Yggdrasil or something?"
"I could, if we went to a payphone. The lines are down, probably because of Skuld's animals. And poor Banpei...they've swarmed him all day," his girlfriend responded.
"How could they knock out the *phone lines*?" Keiichi asked, his face taunt with incredulity. This was beginning to feel like the last seveal years in 14th century Kyushu; watching the inevitable destruction of everything he had worked so hard on.
"Well, you know how much cats and monkeys like to climb..."
Keiichi bit his lip to keep from darting her a glare, while absurd images of stuffed animals setting electrical outwiring and phone junction boxes on fire as they burned up on the power lines filled his thoughts

* * * * * * * *

"Hey Cevn! They're back!" Belldandy shouted in my bedroom door.
Already?
"This must be a first," I muttered, surprised at the timeliness of the Goddesses' return. Despite the fact that it was Dec 30th, and the animals had been on the loose for two days. They were already starting to snarl traffic...as they had spread all over Japan. The international news reported sightings in every country in the world. Despite Dr. Nishihara's statements, the stuffed animals were inflammable.
Indestructible.
I breathed a moment's gratitude for the return of the Goddesses as I turned down the hallway, Belldandy excitedly gesturing for us to go to Skuld Labs.

* * * * * * * *

Peorth and Urd looked like they were going to morph into laughing raccoons at a moment's notice. Skuld was even struggling to avoid bursting into giggles.
Their lightheartedness caught Keiichi off-guard, which immediately put him *on guard*. In the 14th century, laughter was often used to guise murderous intentions. It was just instinctual for him to be wary when he heard laughter. Female laughter especially evoked dissuasive reactions, as several of the provincial lords routinely employed female assassins posing as pleasure-quarter girls.
"How can I fight my very instincts?" he asked himself for the hundredth time since he had been returned to modern 20XX Japan.
In his mind, the reaction of the three Goddesses to this situation was totally ludicrous. This wasn't akin to a life-or-death scenario created by Mara...this was as bad as the Ultimate Destruction Program debacle three years ago! And it wasn't some Goddess problem that the Ultimate Force intended, with inscrutable blind logic, to humiliate only *him*. At times, it was clear that he was the target; as in the time his and Belldandy's hands were stuck together as if by glue...because he had wished that "he never wanted to let her go."
"Well, Bell *was* kinda drunk at the time," he remembered. But this 'stuffed animal crisis' was gravely serious...the welfare of the entire planet was hanging in the pinch.
"And here are the three Goddesses who were sent on a delegation to Yggdrasil to find a solution to this chaos...and they're on the edge of hysterical laughter as soon as they return," he mentally scowled. Especially Urd, who had that mocking, condescending yet capricious glimmer in her eyes...
"How can you three *this* is funny!" he shouted, using his forearm to snappily deflect a half-tiger/half-hippo that kept leaping at his face with feral purposelessness. His exclamation of dismay tipped the iceberg over, casting waves of laughter.
"Hahah aha ha ha hee hah hee...."
"It's *not* funny! This stupid thing doesn't even know why it's doing what its doing, trying to bite me in the face!"
"Heehhaa hah hah he...."
"STOP IT ALREADY!" Keiichi screamed, his nerves as frayed as a violoncello bow after an Ives symphony.
"Ha hahahaha ha huu ha hooo..."
Peorth, Urd and Skuld were completely dissolved into whipped cream levity by some seemingly private jest. This rankled Keiichi even more, as he had often been the laughingstock of Skuld and Urd more than a few times...especially the hazard of Urd and her 'pranks'.
"What'd I do?" he groaned in exasperation.
"Heeyah haha ha heeha ha ha..."
Finally, Belldandy tried to rein in the giggling Goddesses.
"You three...quit ignoring Keiichi! You're *Goddesses*...so start behaving as such! This is a very important matter! Just think how Kami-sama would feel if He saw you acting this way! The safety of the entire Earthrealm is at stake! Not to mention Keiichi's fragile self-esteem. He can get upset so easily...you *know* how sensitive my dear Keiichi becomes when he assumes that people are laughing at him. Even more so now that he's returned from the past with such a strong sense of self-importance from serving in that..." Belldandy realized once more that she had said *too* much, as her intervention was rewarded by another flurry of sidesplitting laughter. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at Keiichi with an apologetic face.
"Thanks, Bell," Keiichi muttered irritably, barely audible. Bell's face deepened into the rouge zone.
Finally, Tomohisa whistled loudly, then started picking up stuffed animals and throwing them at the three Goddesses. Fast and hard, like pitched baseballs. His years of expertise in archery was paying off...every throw connected.
For some strange reason, the brunt of his aim was directed against Skuld...
"Cool it! Just chill out!" he shouted. His hotflash ire seemed to bring Skuld to her senses and she choked away any further laughter. The joke was unavoidable at this point anyway. Their ranks diminished by one, Peorth and Urd's hooting laughter gradually mellowed.
After a couple moments' pause to catch their breath, Urd and Peorth excitedly disclosed that they had indeed found a solution to the problem. And it didn't involve nuking Tokyo or killing all of Skuld's stuffed animals. Skuld noted adamantly that this was *not* an option, at least the part about her stuffed animals.
"So what do we do?" Keiichi asked, clearly relieved that they had promptly found a resolution. His question ignited another round of laughter from the Goddesses. Except for Skuld, who almost appeared embarrassed.
"A..all you have to do, all three..heehee..of you guys, is to..hahahah..walk once around the Imperial Palace...in...get this!..in bunny outfits! That's it! That's a..huh haha hee...that's all you hahahave to do," Urd said, then dissolved into howling laughter so intense that it brought tears to her squinched eyes.
Cevn looked at Urd with a nonplussed expression; he was not amused with her idea of a prank. Especially now, after the Christmas debacle and her last drinking boost.
"Okay, I understand that this is a totally corny situation we have here with these stuffed...things. But really, you three went to seek some answers. Are you going to tell us how we are going to get rid of them...*before* they get rid of us?" he asked.
Keiichi watched as Peorth floated over to Cevn and ran her hand under his jaw in a sensuous mock-soothing manner, just like she used to do to him when she first visited. He knew that, even after 13 years in Ashikaga Japan, his gaijin friend was *still* afraid of the closeness of women. As expected, Cevn recoiled and cringed with fear. And as usual, Keiichi could tell that Urd was privately amused by his boyish reaction. He found himself wondering if Cevn's impending breakup with Urd was more clear-headed and sensible than he had previous suspected.
"You guys...Urd *wasn't* kidding! I promise I'll try and get through this...hee hee...without laughing too much. We inputted the parameters of the wish-request, extraploating any malfunctions that occurred because of the misdirection of the confirmation and activation signal. We then we queried the Yggdrasil Mainframe to formulate how the wish activation was modified by Urd's alchemical efforts. This was the solution it generated. Of course, we replicated the data input paramenters and ran the sim several times to confirm it. And it was hard to do, because each time the Ygg Mainframe gave us the same answer, we...heehee...ended up laughing even harder. So here it is: all the men present in the house at the time of the wish...have to parade once around the Imperial Palace in bunny suits," Peorth confirmed.
"*What* kind of bunny outfits?" Keiichi asked, deadpan serious.
"You know, le bonne femme de nu bar hostess types, of course!" Peorth said. With a vivid bright rose-hued flash, she reappeared in a pink faux-Playboy bunny suit. Keiichi felt all the blood drain out of his face as his imagination drowned in a sea of wordless embarrassment.
"WHATNOWAYUNNHHUNHNEVERNOWAY!!!"
Belldandy stared crossly at Urd and Peorth, her face vigorously projecting "if you laugh once more, I'll snap on you." Urd sucked in a deep breath and struggled to maintain her composure as the three male voices pierced the very air with exclamations of dismay.
"Let me try to clarify the sequence of events that caused this mishap. Cevn caused a beaker of partially completed memory-purging formula to crash into my sink a week ago," Urd started to explain. Keiichi watched Cevn's face fill with disbelief while Urd continued; his friend clearly didn't have a clue about the incident she was describing.
"Then, while Peorth was granting Banpei-kun's wish, the gravity distortion caused another accident with the Lustmuster potion I was mixing. The resulting explosion from the synergism of the two arcane formulas created a gas that somehow infected the animals at the point of their being animated. So now they are..hee hee...lust-driven amnesiacs. Which proves that I *did* mix up the batch of Lustmuster correctly!" Urd finished proudly.
"Well, isn't *that* just peachy keen to know, Big Sister," Skuld interjected sarcastically, then continued upon Urd's explanation. The technical part.
"Yggdrasil Mainframe reported that the original wish as it was filed was granted. The fulfillment conditions strictly authorized that only five stuffed animals at a time were to be animated. They would be available whenever my Banpei-kun wanted to have extra companionship. Since Peorth attempted to grant a wish that was far beyond her technical abilities, the wish got screwed up. Urd's magical chemistry poisons...er, I mean potions...complicated it even more," Skuld explained, satisfied with the grimace on Urd's face in response to her deliberate homophonic taunt.
"Ah...I think I understand now!" Belldandy said with a flash of insight.
"Because this mishap involved all the *Goddesses* in the house at the time...it's now up to the *men* to offset it. By masquerading as females, their gender embarrassment factor will increase to the point where the Lustmuster 'infection' of the stuffed animals will be eliminated."
Urd and Peorth nodded, amused that Belldandy actually thought she had cleverly discovered a new facet to this situation.
"Don't ask me how...this is just the solution Yggdrasil outputted when we fed it the hard data," Skuld said in an attempt to soften the blow. With a dramatic flair, Peorth waved her hands and three pink boxes appeared on the tatami.
"And we brought just the very thing for you guys! Here...the best bunny outfits we could find in Yggdrasil. For you boys to wear!" Peorth added, her eyes sparkling with feigned good cheer. Knowing that she was faced with a potential license suspension, this was the only thing that could keep her cheerful.
Keiichi knew that the Goddesses were eating this up. Even Belldandy had a slyly mirthful smile on her lips.
"Yggdrasil is many things, but if they have bunny suits up there...does that imply that they have divine hostess bars too?" someone asked.
Keiichi wondered off into a tangent, his head swimming in a pool of pitch-black discomfort.

* * * * * * * *

It turned out that the bunny suits were not at all what they seemed.
They were highly sophisticated devices. The bunny ears had built in transmitters that served as broadcast antennae. Concealed in the little white bunny tails were 'embarrassment collectors'. The little black bowties covered very powerful microamplifiers. I sensed that Skuld had a major hand in this...
The bunny suits were *everything* that they seemed. Disgustingly, flamboyantly, oppressively so. The stereotypical Tokyo Ginza strip hostess bar bunny suit...complete with black fishnet stockings, a bustier, a strap-on bowtie and collar, perched ears, and shiny black pumps. I was staring morosely at it as it lay in a corner of my bedroom in its pink box.
It was the enemy.
"I am *not* a transvestite or a pervert," my mind repeated in a mantra intended to fend off the extreme embarrassment that I knew was forthcoming. I could tell by Keiichi and Tomohisa's astonished expressions that they didn't groove on this idea at all. I had almost asked the Goddesses to go back to Yggdrasil to try and find another solution...but my 'metallect' informed me that this was the only way. Besides, time was of the essence.
There was no choice.
"Fuck it!!! Love all, serve all," I grumbled as I fumbled to get one of my legs into the fishnet hosiery. I was going much further than any Hard Rock Cafe employee sloganeer had ever gone. Embarrassing myself to near-death to save the planet.

* * * * * * * *

"T..this is kinda funny, I guess," Tomohisa said with a chuckle after the feminine peals of laughter finally died down. Even the well-behaved Belldandy had broken into undignified hysterics when she saw her beloved Keiichi dressed up in his bunny outfit. She kept pinching his cotton tail...and anything else nearby. This brought the house down with laughter, edging Keiichi into a realm of squirmish embarrassment punctuated with flashes of anger towards his girlfriend, who was milking the situation for every drop of amusement she could get away with.
Even Skuld thought it was hilarious that Belldandy was so forthright with her examination of Keiichi. In her mind, this kind of touching wasn't sexual per se. It was soooo fun! Pure, enjoyable, delectable...'Keiichi humiliation’! Deciding that this will probably be the only time she'll ever get to see him dressed like this, Skuld pinched Keiichi's tail too; her hand barely dodging his swats after the fourth time.
"I'm *really* glad that I didn't have to wear one of those," Skuld said with deep relief. For some unknown reason, this comment drew a glare from Tomohisa. On impulse, Skuld decided to pinch *his* tail...
"No way. Ohhh, no you *don't*!" Tomohisa shouted as Skuld chased him around the living room. She eventually grabbed his cottony tail as he tripped over the couch he tried to hurdle...causing Skuld to collide with him and crash into the floor. Keiichi was both amazed and disgusted at this display of clumsiness. Tomohisa was one of Lord Mori's most skilled warriors; but after a couple weeks back among the moderns of 20XX Japan, he was tripping over his own feet. Then he remembered that running in high-heel pumps wasn't exactly covered in the warrior tradition; so it really wasn't Tomohisa's fault. It was the 21st Century's fault...and Skuld's!
Keiichi felt even more morose.
"Skuld, I didn't realize you knew how to wrestle mortal teenagers," Urd taunted. Both Skuld and Tomohisa turned cherry red, and then Skuld leapt back to her feet like a lightning strike.
Urd was hovering over Cevn while she flicked his bunny 'ears'. Seeing Skuld and Belldandy, she decided to pinch his tail while making all sorts of comments about his 'cute' appearance. Cevn looked like he was almost ready to bolt out of the room, then finally he turned on Urd and gave her a civil tonguelashing.
Keiichi felt a little less morose; Cevn's verbal blasting of Urd was almost an exact duplicate of how he used to chew out his top students at Lord Mori's "academy" where he taught fine arts in Oita. Urd was rendered speechless by his commanding confrontation and censuring admonitions. Maybe they would retain their hard-earned skills from the 14th century after all.
"Serves you right, Big Sister!" Skuld said with a malicious grin after it was all over. To her shock, Urd was thoroughly cowed by Cevn. She thought this was a great payback for Urd's snide remark...she liked it when her sister got confronted by her mortal boyfriend. The more people that could keep Urd in line, the merrier Skuld's life would be.
"Okay. Enough playing with your 'boy toys', you three Norns!" Peorth announced loudly, causing a half dozen blushes...then glares. She thrilled secretly to the fact that she had tongue-tied everyone in the house with the thorn-like sting of her wit.
"Belldandy will transport you to the Imperial Palace at noon. We want you to be there when there are the most people around to observe. That way, you'll all get good and embarrassed. She'll drop you in Budokan Hall, through the men's room mirrors. Then you walk south past the Hirakawamon Gate, then west past the Otemon, then circle back up north to the Sakuradamon Gate. After this, you just walk up Uchibori St. until you reach the Budokan. Then you have to go back inside the grounds through the Hirakawamon Gate..." Peorth directed.
"I thought you said we just had to circle the Imperial Palace *once*! Isn't it kinda cold to be outdoors dressed like *this*?" Keiichi anguished, disappointment written all over his face. He was well versed in sufferance of hostile weather elements...they had evacuated Oita to avoid capture by Imagawa's approaching troops...in November. An unseasonable strong snowstorm and cold front had caught them in the mountains...
Peorth's voice jarred him back to reality. *This* reality.
"Once outside, then once inside. A complete circle. Anyway, once inside the Palace walls, you start at the East Garden and walk along the jogging course, including Kitanomaru Park. A single lap will bring you back to the gate. Then you turn back north to the Budokan. There's an ice-sculpted rosette there, right in front of the arena. Stand by it, and I'll transport you back home," Peorth finished.
"This...is going to be an absolute nightmare," Cevn said. Both Keiichi and Tomohisa nodded their heads.
"This *really* sucks!" Tomohisa declared.
Urd felt a slight glimmer sympathy for them as she surveyed their miserable faces. Cevn was looking at the ground, his face pinched up with mopery. Urd had wanted to see him thoroughly humiliated after the Christmas sans her ring...but now that this was happening, she felt artlessly reserved, rather than triumphant. Part of her was caught up in the sillysally adventure of it all, relishing in his comeuppance.
Yet another part of her felt admiration for all three men...undergoing this trial to save the Earthrealm. And yet one more field of emotion sprouted disappointment, because their humiliation wasn't the result of her *own* initiative. Yes...each of the three men was sacrificing his masculinity. And Urd *knew* how mortal men worried about their male self-images. Over a few thousand years, she had observed frequent occurrences of the males of the species going to war over loss of 'face'.
"Are you ready, Keiichi?" Belldandy asked. She was filled with respect for her beloved. She held both of his hands in hers and leaning forward, kissing him for good luck. Anything to wither away just a little of his fear. She really wanted to ask him if he was okay, but the dour look on his face made it clear how he felt about this costumed unsavoriness.
Keiichi sensed a moment's flush of hesitation in returning Bell's kiss. After all, he *was* dressed obscenely in some gaudy bunnygirl outfit. He blushed, wondering once again how women could wear something like this. But he looked into her azure crystal eyes and felt becalmed. He would do anything for this Goddess. Once more, he was trying to save the world...and she would love him through it.
"Ohh, Keiichi, it'll be okay. Besides, you look so *cuuuute* in your bunny-wunny suit," Peorth commented with milksour sweetness. "Tres panache!"
"Let's go," he said with a grim set to his voice, "...before I end up losing the last remaining sliver of my dignity."

* * * * * * * *

The air was bracing, even indoors. At least it wasn't superfrigid, as the late December pool of Siberian winds from the northwest had abated for a few days. The first thing I noticed was the stares as we popped into the men's room at the Budokan. Despite the infestation of stuffed animals, we were still considered *strange*.
As we exited the restroom, deliberately avoiding looking into the mirrors, I caught a glimpse of the preparations for a concert by Yes. Which I had planned to go to with Urd. But now, these plans were ruined. I was amazed that they were still planning to go ahead with the concert despite the animal epidemic.
It was then that I realized that we were probably going to be filmed. The astonished looks on the faces of the men in the restroom were just a prelude of coming distractions...
Sure enough, by the time we had emerged from the octagon-shaped performance hall, we were caught on video by a group of French tourists. Their laughing jeers painted my mood darkling.
We walked along the perimeter of the Imperial Palace, drawing stares as we went. To try and keep my mind occupied, I recounted the historical incidents attached to the locale. Granted, back when we were living in the 14th century, there was no Imperial Palace in Edo. But this site had seen so much history. As we passed the Sakuradamon Gate, I could almost hear in my mind the angry shouts of the Mito clan's assassins as they ambushed and cut down Ii Naosuke, the Chief Minister to the Shogun. A desperate rouge group of men who aspired to topple the Shogunate killed him right here in 1860. To the Japanese, this event possessed a context and place in their cultural history akin to that of Boothe's assassination of Lincoln.
Snowdrifts piled themselves jaggedly along the walkways. The elder poets chronicled winter as the thief of life; its snow blanketing the rainbow of colors to create a cast-metal liquicloud that concealed the organic fabric of Life. But looking at the ice-covered cherry blossom trees through the gate, I felt that winter was a preserver...a renewer of life. Guised by lifelessness, it served as a sort of natural laundry machine, creating a blue-white crystalline pureness from which new life would abound. After all, billions of years before the primeval organic soup, there was the meganova flash of the Big Bang. From black and white was forged *all of this*...
The various plazas within the Imperial Palace grounds were filled with visual delights, even while gripped in the vigor of algidity. The pedestrian-only walkways offered glimpses of the Imperial grounds proper. I cast a mental note to myself to come visit again in the spring.
As we rounded up north, I noticed a distinct change in masonry along the battlements, turrets and walls. The Norzura style walls of uncut quarry stones was replaced by the more regular Uchikomi style of rounded brick-like stones. I looked over at Keiichi and Tomohisa, the friends who were sharing the silence of this torturous trek. They were bearing up well.
We had been gripped by the mummery of our embarrassment since we left the Budokan Hall; a manifesting of our doleful state. To our credit, we hadn't attacked any of the clueless people who mockingly taunted us. Well actually, they were clued in to the fact that men walking around in bunny suits was a bit strange, I reminded myself. In the 14th century, any one of us could have broken their necks in an instant...or worse. Our motives would have been completely defensible to Lord Mori. Between ourselves, avenging a besmirch of honor was simply a given.
We continued on our 'long march'.
"You guys...since we're dressed in such an outrageous fashion, shouldn't we *act outrageously* as well?" Keiichi abruptly interrupted our silence, suggesting that we take advantage of the moment.
"Huh?"
"I mean that we should act with a complete abandon of decorum. It beats walking around in an embarrassed sulk. Why not make light of it...and have some major *fun*!" he elaborated.
This didn't even occur to me; I had been so focused on the Sturm und Drang melodrama aspect of this humiliation that I couldn't see any other way to endure our trials. His idea was attractive in the same way that nooks and crannies draw upon a cat's exploratory instincts. In other words, Keiichi was saying that we should be totally silly, act completely asinine...and trust our instincts.
"This is already disgusting, so why not act like true maniacs? Maybe that'll make it feel less perverted!" Tomohisa echoed. So I started singing the theme from "Private Actress", a late 90s Japanese TV drama that I had seen in China. Part comedy, part detective story, it centered on a young girl who was the secret daughter of a famous actress. She would be hired as a 'stand in', depending on her acting skill to impersonate people in real life. Her efforts to try and influence situations often produced comedic and unpredictable results. The Chinese students in BeiDa had loved it.
Keiichi and Tomohisa looked at me with funny expressions. They told me that they thought "Private Actress" was just another TBS soap-operaish slapdash.
"Ah, I see. Soooo, how come you both know the song?" I asked, watching their faces quiver with embarrassment.
"Okay...okay. We're off to see the wizard..." Keiichi replied. We started singing "Off to See the Wizard", just like we did on the road to Oita all those centuries ago. Next, we decided to offer a little bit of street vaudeville, playing three gay men caught in a love triangle. Soon, we had a crowd following us from a discreet distance, snapping pictures and laughing at our hijinks. My knowledge of Japanese rakugo, Three Stooges, and Beijing slapstick was coming in handy, for once in my life.
What was totally weird about this...was the fact that the stuffed animals were on every continent in the globe, and the tourists were acting like nothing was awry as we goofed around.

* * * * * * * *

"This isn't working! They're supposed to be *embarrassed*!!! Instead, they're having fun...clowning around like idiots!" Urd said punchily. Four Goddesses were huddled in the shambles of Skuld's lab, watching the three bunnymen on a video monitor that Skuld jury-rigged to hang from the ceiling, because the floor was almost 2 meters deep with writhing stuffed animals. The cottonish fauna seemed to gravitate to Skuld's room for some reason.
"Well, of course they are, Urd. This is happening because of the resiliency of the human spirit," Belldandy observed. "Rather than being downcast, my Keiichi has found a way to cheer their spirits. Look how much fun they're having! Mortals never relinquish their enjoyment of life, you know."
"Yes, but it isn't going to help our cause any," Peorth said worriedly. "If they end up making this into some kind of entertainment for themselves, the 'embarrassment collectors' won't accumulate a fraction of the needed energy!
"And then...fin de monde mortale!"
"Hmmm...what can we do from here to make this more embarrassing?" Urd asked with a devious grin on her face. Belldandy looked at her older sister, alarmed with the frankness of her request.
"I'm on it! Skuld Dynamic Embarrassment Contingency Plan A-1!" Skuld said as she floated out of the room.
Her younger sister's enthusiasm worried Belldandy even more.

* * * * * * * *

Tomohisa examined the expansive grounds of the Imperial Palace, calculating how much manpower was employed to build its battlements and grounds. Lord Mori and Shimazu's castles required the labors of hundreds of conscripts; yet their fortifications were only a *fraction* of the size of the Imperial Palace. It was *huge*.
In the 14th century, Lords Mori's castle was the hub of Bungo province. In much the same manner, the Imperial Palace was the hub of all Japan. Tomohisa felt a renewed sense of reverence for the national icon, an appreciation that was absent before he traveled back in time. All the years of being a loyal retainer had imbued him with a deep sense of affinity for what it was to be Japanese.
Even in his present attire.
"After all, I'm saving humanity. This is my task today...a task that I'm honored to fulfill. Not bad for a first year high school student!" he cheerily said to himself, drawing knowing smiles from Keiichi and Cevn who overheard him.
The walkway around the moats and Kitanomaru Park covered about six kilometers. Even now, midday joggers were running about, zigzagging around stuffed animals; only briefly turning their heads to glimpse the three men in bunny suits.
Being in high school was worse than this ordeal in some ways, Tomohisa reasoned. This would only last a few hours. But high school would run for another three years. Tomohisa knew that in terms of maturity, he was *older* than Takimasu-sensei, his homeroom teacher. She was only 26. His classmates were *so* facile. It drove him crazy to see how undisciplined they were according to the standards he was accustomed to.
Furibiki High School was a model high school, complete with prestigious academic credentials and a host of graduates annually placed into the 'better' universities. Yet, it was nothing compared to the samurai training he undertook. Lord Mori had basically treated him as a foster son. Cevn-sensei had found a manuscript copy of an old book called the Tsurezuregusa by a priest named Kenko; Tomohisa ended up having to memorize numerous passages from this book and other classics. Genji bouted with him numerous times with spear, sword, fan and ax. Keiichi had spent hours discussing military generalship with him, drawing upon the Chinese and Japanese master strategists. Lord Mori's archery instructors had hailed him as the best archer they had trained in generations. Compared to the standards he had to face in the 14th century, 21st century high school was a breeze.
He was amused by the notion that he, Keiichi and Cevn were linked by a common mission...like the three heroes of the "Three Kingdoms" saga. Although they hadn't taken a 'peach tree oath', they were out to achieve something noble, at any expense of self-sacrifice. Imported over from China by some Buddhist missionaries, the folktales of the Han Dynasty heroes were the talk of the court in 1377-8.
He returned to the present as he glimpsed the Budokan arena off in the distance. It was getting cold, as the sun was increasingly covered by gray late afternoon clouds.
"This is the home stretch," Tomohisa thought thankfully. There was a throng ahead as they approached the ice sculptures, he noted.
"What now?" he wondered.

* * * * * * * *

"YOU WHAT!" Belldandy shouted at Skuld. The waifish Goddess sat cross-legged on a pillow above a heap of stuffed animals, looking at her older sister with a smug self-satisfied smile of defiance.
"Why Skuld, I didn't know you had it in you! They'll *really* be humiliated! My little baby sister... Wow! She's taking after me, sure enough! Even *I* would be hard pressed to come up with something so devious. So ruthless!" Urd pronounced proudly, patting Skuld excitedly on the head from her floating position.
All Belldandy could do was glare at her two sisters. Skuld responded with by flashing her tongue and eye at Belldandy.
"Biiii-DA!"
"This is going to be really interesting!" Peorth whispered to herself with glee. Skuld's plan would really cause the three mortals to be totally wracked with mortification. On the monitor, a crowd converged on the three mortal men in their bunny suits...
A few moments later, without so much as a "pop!" all the stuffed animals disappeared from sight, leaving Skuld's original set of fifty-or-so toys scattered around the temple home.
"This is coming out of *your* allowance, Skuld!" Belldandy said threateningly, referring to the damages in the house.

* * * * * * * *

This is a *nightmare*!" Keiichi thought as he saw the NHK camera crew approaching them. Some news reporter was pushing a microphone in his face, asking about his opinions concerning the rights of transvestites to dress up in drag in public.
"Mr. Morisato, isn't this too brave of a statement about the need for Japan to reexamine the societal constraints upon transvestites like yourself?" the reporter asked.
"They know my *name*!" Keiichi thought in shock, too stunned to make heads or tails of things. Another interviewer was asking Cevn if it was appropriate for a faculty member of a technical institute to be parading in public in a bunny outfit.
Keiichi felt like he was going to pass out; his head was as light as windborne snow...
Then the police swooped in and arrested Tomohisa, Cevn and him.
On camera.
"You are under arrest for shoplifting!" the Tokyo police officer explained as he handcuffed them. Keiichi fought back an instinctual urge to resist being taken into custody. The policemen looked uncertain as they escorted he and his friends to a waiting van.
He cast a sidelong glance at Cevn and Tomohisa...a single nod from either of them and they would have taken out all 11 policeman within a minute. Just like they had done when those brigands surprised them on their return trip to Oita in 1379. Back then, Genji was among their number. Back then, there were 57 men for the four of them to fight. That was how Keiichi had gotten the long slashing scar from his shoulderblade to his hip, because one of the curs had tried to cut him down from behind. Genji quickly beheaded the scoundrel, but the only way to seal the wound was with course hempen thread and medicinal herbs. As they were on the road, proper medical care wasn't possible, so Keiichi recuperated at an inn along with his three comrades-in-arms. His scar suitably impressed Lord Mori and the rest of the inner circle.
The vicious scar had disappeared, but the memory of the pain remained.
"On what charges?" Cevn demanded, sensing a repeat of his misadventure in Beijing. He *knew* that he hadn't shoplifted anything for years...it just wasn't a part of his personal recovery program. And a crime punishable by death, if the thief was ranked among Lord Mori's personal retainers.
"You're wearing the evidence! You stole those outfits that you're wearing. A shop owner named Skurudo Hayasaki tipped us off," he said as he reached behind the bustier Cevn was wearing and tore off the owner's tag. "See here! This is the owner's rental tag!"
Sure enough, it read: Skurudo Hayasaki Rentals.
"Sku..ru..do. Ha..ya..saki. Is gonna pay *dearly* for this!" Keiichi growled lividly.

* * * * * * * *

The funniest thing happened at the Tokyo Police Station, Kanda Branch. The police captain was still trying to explain it to the Chief over the phone; the station staff standing in a semicircle around him with expressions of concern. They or their boss could lose their jobs for this! They *still* couldn't believe what happened, despite the fact that they were direct eyewitnesses!
"Yessir! We brought in these three guys dressed as women, based on the shop owner's phone call. Funny, how she knew just where they were. And her personal name...Skurudo. How unusual! It certainly isn't Japanese.
"Yeah, the men were *really* hentai! True perverts...dressed in these black bunny outfits you see the hostesses wear! You don't say, sir? Don't worry, I didn't tell anyone about our last little staff party, sir!"
A number of the junior police officers snickered knowingly.
"Yessir! Once they were here, we started the standard booking process. We lined the first one of them up for a mugshot, and 'poof!'...he simply disappeared! It almost looked like he was sucked *into the camera*!
"Yessir! I know it sounds unbelievable. But it happened with the other two as well. One was a gaijin, the other was a kid, probably 16 or 17. Yessir, I agree that TV is a bad influence on kids. They should have never filmed that arrest! Yes, we'll arrest some drunks and suit 'em up in bunny suits, so if any reporters come snooping around, we can show 'em some perverts.
"Oh, we'll definitely take of that, sir! Not a word to the newspapers! I know that it makes us look bad, but what can we do? After the three bunnymen disappeared, we couldn't find any records of the original complaint. The station video camera went snafu the moment we brought them in, sir. First time in years. And there are *no* arrest records to be found! It's not even logged on the computer system either, sir!
"Yes, it is funny how all those stuffed animals disappeared. I wonder if there is a connection? You don't say, sir! The only explanation I have is that we just experienced an X-File Incident. Yes, I'll make the call to the Self Defense Forces. But there's nothing more I can do on this end.
"Thanks sir. By the way, have a good golf game on the rooftop this evening."

* * * * * * * *

"WHERE IS SHE!" Keiichi shouted, a murderous look in his eyes. Belldandy kept shifting in front of him, trying to bodyblock him away from Skuld.
"K..Keiichi-san. Look! You succeeded...a..all the animals are gone! I..isn't that wonderful?" she said innocently, trying to disarm her boyfriend's anger.
"Where is the little *brat*!" Tomohisa yelled. He spied Skuld standing behind her sister, almost using Belldandy as a shield. She seemed to flinch rhythmically while called her "spoiled brat, little girl, rotten kid, irritating urchin, troublesome imp, immature little know-it-all, pre-adolescent scoundrel, good-for-nothing idiot, selfish curmudgeon, pampered little Goddess princess." With a few shouts of 'Baka!' thrown in for good measure.
He stopped just short of using expletives.
"I can't believe she did that to us! She *framed* us to the media and the police!" Cevn shouted in exasperation.
"Hey, lay off the little one! She meant well. If you guys hadn't decided that this walk in the park should be a comedic tour de farce, there wouldn't have been any problems!" Peorth shouted above the fray.
"Yeah...but *whose* fault was this in the first place, Peorth?" Keiichi retorted. Peorth felt herself cringe at his sharp words.
Skuld stepped out from behind her older sisters and aggressively postured towards Keiichi, hands on hips. Keiichi looked at her and noticed that, despite her girlish form, there was that ancient essence in her eyes that bespoke of Yggdrasilian wisdom.
"I did it for duty...and humanity," Skuld stated, filled with aplomb. To her, this was all the justification that was needed. The authority of dire necessity should abrogate any qualms the guys had. The mortals had gone astray again, and it was up to *her* to resolve the problem. So she put a damper on their fun...with a clamp of embarrassment.
Keiichi wanted to bend her over his knee and spank her!
Belldandy quickly seized the moment and explicated why Skuld acted as she did, which seemed to calm Keiichi's dander. Despite her disavowal of Skuld's methods, it was clear to the Norn of the Present that Skuld had acted for the best good. And she wasn't going to let Keiichi act viciously towards her little sister, no matter what!
All three mortal men scowled angrily, knowing that they were outclassed and outpowered by the Goddesses.
Revenge would have to wait until another day...
And this is how Banpei and mini-Banpei made friends with Skuld's stuffed animals...

* * * * * * * *

Keiichi was lying in bed, feeling morose. He was worried about the camera crews, the police station, and most of all how his Belldandy would see view him in light of today's incidents.
He was swarmed by feelings of inadequacy and shame, daring him to regain his masculinity. Being small of stature for most of his life was one thing that he couldn't change, but having to wear women's clothes... As a man, he was feeling very hang-headed. Bell-chan was sitting on the futon next to him in her pajamas, knees curled up to her chest.
Neither of them wanted to say a word. He had become ragefully resentful at Skuld. She had become irontough protective of Skuld.
Therein lay the clash of their emotions.
"What is she thinking?" he wondered. He opened his mouth to speak when she turned to him.
"My dear Keiichi, you were so brave today. For someone to willingly risk their dignity like you did...well, it just seems so *chivalric* to me!" she said with a beaming smile. This was exactly what Keiichi needed to hear...and what he least expected to hear.
"Belldandy...thanks. I'm just feeling weird ever since I had to wear those stupid bunnygirl outfits. In fact, most of these clothes that I'm wearing make me feel so...lamed. I'm used to a whole different set of clothes. Back then, the clothes *really* made the man. Now...I don't even feel comfortable in my shorts!"
"I understand completely, my love. I was just thinking of a way to help you regain your manhood..." She waved her hands over her head. Keiichi flinched as a flash of light filled his bedroom. When his eyes readjusted, he saw her anew.
She was dressed in a light blue bunny outfit that matched her eyes.
"Keiichi, I just thought...that since you've been such a courageous boyfriend...that I'd show you how a bunny suit should *really* look like, when worn properly," she said matter-of-factly, seemingly naive to the intense effect she was having on him.
"I'm your bunny tonight.."
Keiichi looked at her with hot embarrassed lust. Belldandy definitely didn't look like a hostess girl...but yet he felt a truckload of reservations as he beheld her dressed as one. His mind flashed briefly on the possibility that she was making fun of him. But her eyes were complete in their sincerity; he could almost see the regret she must have felt while he endured this punishing trial-by-humiliation.
"This is something better left for the fetishists," he thought. Yet...her auburn hair was delicately swept back beneath the light blue bunny ears...the small white fluff of cotton kept drawing his attention downwards.
"Geez, I didn't know that these outfits were so...tight, Keiichi-san. I'm sure that you can help me...wiggle my tail...out of this predicament, huh?" she said provocatively.
"Bell...dan...dy," he gasped. Once more, she had surprised him with an outrageous whim-wham. Keiichi had to admit the Bell looked *totally* awesome dressed as a bunny...and that he was going to share absolute bliss with her once she was no longer bunnyfied.
"Oooo, Keiichi! I see *you* aren't wasting any time regaining your manhood..."

* * * * * * * *

There was a certain work ethic enjoined in the temple household as the residents cleaned everything in sight.
While in 2050 Japan, Megumi had spent just a couple weeks with Abbess Sora and Abbess Chihiro. But she felt like she had learned *years* worth of wisdom in the company of the elderly nuns.
Every morning, Abbess Sora would spend an hour washing the sandals of the new novices. When Megumi asked her what she was doing, she replied "Cleaning, cleaning, clean"...and nothing more. Initially irritated by Abbess Sora's tenuous and evasive answer, Megumi watched her at work. Over the course of a week, Abbess Sora cleaned hundreds of sandals. Megumi was even more mystified when Abbess Chihiro emerged from one of the bathrooms every morning with a mopbucket. These two women were the leaders of an organization of nuns that numbered over 10,000, whose spiritual insights had been disseminated worldwide. They were *famous* personages in the Buddhist world...she remembered her stunned reaction when Abbess Chihiro offhandedly noted that one of her books had been translated into *sixty* languages! And now she was cleaning the bathrooms!
So one day, she and Sayoko volunteered to accompany the two Abbesses on their chores. Neither NIT coed was allowed to speak; Chihiro had actually whacked Megumi with the mop handle when she asked a question.
"Cleaning, cleaning, clean" had become a riddle.
A few days before they were whisked back to 20XX, the two Abbesses came in and cleaned the guest quarters where she and Sayoko were rooming. The two spiritual leaders spent *three hours* cleaning the floors, walls...even the ceiling rafters. Megumi thought they were overdoing it, until she noticed that Abbess Sora and Abbess Chihiro looked *relaxed and peaceful* during the whole cleaning process! No huffing and puffing, no cursing, no struggling to reach a corner with a damp rag. It was as if they were meditating in motion.
After they were finished, the two Abbesses lectured Megumi and Sayoko on the principle of cleanliness. They readily admitted that they could have cleaned the guest room inside of an hour. But it wouldn't have been *clean*. It would only have *appeared* clean; the real cleaning is the polishing of the soul. Abbess Sora and Abbess Chihiro both admitted that they had looked forward to this room cleaning for days...it was one of the highlights of their week.
When Megumi asked why, she expected some Voltairesque justification of the importance of physical work. Instead, she was given a lesson in loving service.
"All service is loving service. In a convent such as ours, the most important step to enlightenment begins and ends with cleaning the floors. In cleaning, the purity of the Truth is most clear...is most clean."
Much of her experience in 2050 had troubled Megumi since she returned. To be sure, her adjustment wasn't even a tenth as difficult as that with which the men were facing...but the difficulty for her lay not in the length of time, but in the depth of time.
Abbess Sora and Abbess Chihiro had challenged the very roots of her spirit. It was as if something had been awakened in her. Megumi had heard and seen Cevn meditating many times. He had suggested several times that she should sit for meditation, in order to gain perspective on her life. Of course, he suggested that to everybody.
After spending time with the two Abbesses, Megumi finally understood that she would remained trapped in the passions of life...until she did something different, something that would break the routine of exercise, school, homelife, and Genji. To her surprise, she found herself sitting alone one morning soon after she woke up, trying to practice the simple meditation the two Abbesses had taught her. When she phoned Sayoko that day...Sayoko being the only other person who could possibly understand what she was going through...she found out that Sayoko had also sat for meditation that same morning.
Megumi started to sense the importance of the moment. It had allowed her to reach deep within herself to remain patient with Genji. Genji was *changed*...his whole masculinity had been altered to a different mold. He was no longer shy; he was demanding, aggressive, uppity. He actually pressured her for sex...and when she rebuffed him, he grew angry...and then cried. He was a basket case, trying to blend together two completely different lives. And yet, she allowed him his space and his struggles to adjust. But she *didn't* allow him to have power over her. It seemed that she was seeking power in spiritual consolation, for the first time in her life.
The New Year's cleaning was no longer a chore to Megumi. It was an act of service, an expression of love, a manifestation of gratitude.
Belldandy quickly noted the change in her and complimented her sweetly. She praised Megumi, observing that she "had leapt forward". Encouraged, Meggumi felt inspired to try even harder to stay in the moment and appreciate her life more.
For the first time in her life, Megumi found herself enjoying "life in the slow lane".
She hummed to herself as she scrubbed the wooden decking on the veranda that wrapped their temple house, grateful to see the blowing snowflakes dancing in the air...

* * * * * * * *

Of course, Urd chose to watch TV while the others scrubbed, vacuumed, dusted, and disinfected everything in sight. She was amused at how they drew lots to see who got what room, rather than cooperate in the cleaning of the whole. And Megumi, fool that she was, actually *volunteered* to do the outdoors cleaning!
"Tomorrow..." she sighed.
Tomorrow was New Year's Day. Tonight was stay-at-home day. She planned to watch the Kohaku Uta Gassen...the annual Red vs. White song contest that was still the most popular TV show ever in Japan. This year, she was going to cheer for the Red Team. The show was silly, at times even ridiculously outdated with its homily to the caprice that "Japan is all one big family." Urd thought *that* was a load of crap, but she was a fool for the boyish idol singers. Last year, it drew a respectable 53.4 percent rating for NHK, completely smothering the broadcast of all six Star Wars installments and the world TV premiere of the Yamato 3K live-action drama.
The house reeked of ammonia, dust, soap and bleach. Urd floated into a relaxed curl and watched one of Skuld's DVDs, a live concert by SMAP.
"Those guys were *soooo* cute when they were younger," she observed to herself.

* * * * * * * *

I made a grimace in the mirror. The black mon-tsuki that I wore looked pretty ridiculous on me, especially since it was mon-less. I didn't have a family crest...in fact I didn't even have a family registry. I did have rank and crest back when I was in service to Lord Mori; the Lord had granted me this favor despite the objections that I was a gaijin. But it wouldn't be right to wear that crest now; I would only be dishonoring my memories of the long-departed Lord and his act of kindness to a foreigner.
So my dress kimono substituted generic oblique designs. I pulled the gray pinstriped hakama over the kimono and tied the sash. The dress wear of the 14th century was so much more appealing than this. I felt like I was wearing a costume, despite the fact that almost every Japanese household had men dressed like me at this time of the year. It just wasn't something I was accustomed to. When I wore court dress under my service to Lord Mori, the attire possessed a strong significance. Certain types of clothing required certain types of service; they had to be earned by their wearers. But here, this bland outerwear felt simply out of place. It was about as significant as the blasé business suits I swore I'd never wear.
Megumi cautioned me that I would probably draw a few stares tomorrow when we went to the shrine to pray for the New Year. Some Japanese still clung to the belief that gaijin didn't belong in traditional Japanese attire. Which was surprising in an ironic sort of way, because my motives were to *honor* the traditional culture.
Urd had been pestering me all day, wanting to play Karuta-tori. This was a card game along the lines of 'Concentration' or 'Husker Du'. One hundred cards were laid out on the floor, each with a stanza or illustration from the Hyaku-nin-Isshu. A referee would read out a line from the famous anthology that was comprised of one hundred tanka poems, and players would make a grab for the corresponding card. Urd knew about my penchant for poetry, so she had bought the modern version of the game, complete with an electronic referee and a lighted timer button.
Truth is, I just wanted to withdraw from her. Whenever I was around her, I was suffused with fear and guilt. Urd seemed to pick up on my mood, which I waved off as disappointment for her lack of willingness to help in the end-of-year housecleaning. True, I *was* disappointed in her. Much more than she realized.
As I fell asleep, I could hear the surreal ringing of the joya-no-kane; the 108 peals of temple bells that were supposed to drive out the sins that Man is heir to...

* * * * * * * *

I decided to get up before sunrise to enjoy the dawning of 2007. The hatsuhinode...the first dawn of the year...was beautiful, as the waxing sun underlit the wispy cirrus clouds of the early morning day. After a breakfast of special soba noodles exquisitely prepared by Belldandy, we embarked on an early start to go to the shrine. Urd and Skuld insisted that they stay behind, to housesit. They argued that, since they were *Goddesses*, there was no need for them to participate in the hastsumoude--the first day's attendance at the shrine. In Makuhari, the nearest shrine was almost a kilometer-long walk. The weather was still cold, so we wrapped ourselves in winter coats. Because of the supertyphoon, the streets were still filled with huge snowpiles due to the shortage of snowplows.
As we walked down the streets, I couldn't help but admire Megumi and Belldandy in their kimono. Makuhari displayed liberal afterravages from Supertyphoon Akira; the news last night said it would probably take the entire new year before the city was finally back to normal. In contrast to the bulldozed lots and damaged buildings, the two ladies walking with us were at the height of feminine grace and beauty, even to my untrained eye.
I could tell that Keiichi was completely taken aback to see that Genji and Megumi had returned for the day from skiing in Hokkaido. Well, I guess Genji could afford it, since his family was worth somewhere in the vicinity of 1470 billion yen. *I* knew why they had taken a day away from the slopes, however.
While we walked, Megumi explained that she and Belldandy were both wearing furisode, the 'butterfly sleeved' kimonos appropriate for young unmarried women. Her kimono had a woven key pattern background with peach and silver lines, allowing the gold, orange and pink floral flourishes to highlight the print. The white obi sash wrapped around her waist had delicate silver chrysanthemum patterns and was tied with cherry red obi-jime cord. She and Belldandy both sported fakefur fluffled white wraps around their neck and collars.
Belldandy was appareled in a kimono with a misty green-blue background gradient weave, highlighted with silver, light blue and red landscape scenes. Her dark green obi sash represented the pine trees in winter; it was tied with a light jade colored cord. I had no idea that the obi sash could take as long as a half-hour to tie, especially Megumi's, which had an elaborate knotting in the back. Megumi told me that this pattern was taught to her by her mother; it had been passed down through the generations of young Morisato women.
Their sleeves hanging down almost to the ground, the two ladies walked with a dainty gait on their geta, more than likely due to the tightness of their kimono. Both also wore floral print koto overjackets, with delicate silken patterns. I could see the open admiration in Keiichi's eyes for his Divine girlfriend and sister; from where we had come from, women 'dressed up' using crudely-sewn overrobes. Culture shock again, it was.
Passing a confectionery shop, I recalled this morning's breakfast. Skuld had been the recipient of several otoshi-dama cash gifts from the adults in the house. Funny, for as much as she begged off being compared to a child...she ripped each envelope open with juvenile haste, gleefully looking for the cash gift inside. Urd had teased her about "being too old for otoshi-dama", which brought a round of vigorous protestation from Skuld.
"Why hasn't Peorth returned to Yggdrasil after the stuffed animal craziness?" Keiichi asked me. I just shrugged my shoulders in response. I ventured to guess that he was in a reflective mood. Appropriate, considering that we had starved for over three months out of 'this' year. Neither one of us had to play words around the sense of gratitude we felt for being back *home*.
After the visit to the shrine, we were going to call upon a number of friends, including Tamiya, Ootaki, Sayoko, Sora, Chihiro and others. I was going to venture out and visit the residences of several N.I.T. professors and grad students while Keiichi and the rest met up with their sempai for lunch.
The shrine was already filled with worshipers when we reached it. We joined a line of gaily-dressed families. Still recovering from the ravages of Akira, the shrine was swathed in the nets and scaffolds of recent reconstruction efforts. I watched as each family approached the kami platform, hung special New Years papers on the wall, lit their joss sticks and added them to the piles in the cauldron, dropped off a cash donation, then turned and left.
I prayed that this year would be better than the last. I prayed that Urd would understand why I had to end it between us. I prayed that I would find out what my wish was really all about. And I prayed for the welfare of all sentient beings.
I *still* felt like a stranger in a strange land. My mind reeled as I recalled that, up until February of last year, the AMG Universe had existed for me only in the dimension of paper imagination and some anime episodes. Back then, I was living in a deep morosion. Then, I resided in a slummy neighborhood in Hawaii, complete with an array of illiterate wifebeaters, drug addicts, drunks, and neglected children. I was struggling through the University, each day a fight between my depression and my education. I was depressed, and my circumstances were an ongoing opprobrium.
I had given up on life.
Now, after a miraculous encounter with Urd, I was in the midst of the AMG Universe, which had somehow become real. Making real decisions for the first time in years. As I recounted the past year, it struck me anew that my depression had been greatly diminished.
An oft-repeated wish had seemingly been granted...I was free once again.
Here I was, in Japan, trying to 'go native' into a culture that I knew from the inside out, at least within an academic and hobbyist perspective.
Yet, I still was an "etranger", as Peorth would put it.

* * * * * * * *

As the sky repainted itself with darker hues of blue, Megumi realized that she had purposefully delayed Belldandy and Keiichi long enough. Urd and Skuld made it clear that they needed at least eight hours to get things ready. It was already late afternoon when the group started strolling back to the temple.
Cevn rejoined them after visiting several N.I.T. faculty members. Megumi had expected him to make some mishaps, since this was his first New Years. But he seemed to do okay. In fact, she was enjoying his wide-eyed interest in the proceedings. His apt enthusiasm suggested to her what it must be like to take a young child to the fair for the first time.
During lunch, Keiichi had told her about Cevn's decision to leave Urd. Megumi was very disappointed, especially since Cevn hadn't confided this to her personally. But she could empathize with his reasoning, at least a slight bit. Even if the two broke up, she would remain his friend. After all, he was her adopted older brother. But the news was still a shock to her system.
She returned her thoughts to more important matters such as the surprise awaiting them at home. The plan was simple. Once they called on each of their friends at home, it served as a cue for that friend to go join the gathering crowd at the temple. Tamiya and Ootaki had met them for a late lunch at Ootaki's parents, where Tamiya was staying until the Men's Dorm reopened. This had burned at least a couple of hour's time.
From Megumi's standpoint, everything was in place. Keiichi wasn't even wondering why *everyone* they were visiting was at home, rather than being out and about making rounds themselves. Their route took a *huge* amount of timetable coordination by Megumi. Having to keep to a schedule that accommodated almost all of the other's New Year's Day activities was almost impossible...but it was worth it.
*Would* be worth it, if everything Urd promised came true...

* * * * * * * *

Belldandy wondered why there was a whole bunch of people at the temple. Urd hadn't mentioned anything about a party. With a moment's dawning horror, she suspected that her older sister was up to her annual New Year's pranks. Like Life Sugoroku. Or Lustmuster.
"Oh no...Urd mixed up another batch of Lustmuster and invited everyone here. She's planning to dose them...and have an orgy!" Belldandy thought, gripped with dire panic.
"Bell dear, what's wrong?" Keiichi inquired.
"Ohh, I was just caught up in a little passing of fear," she replied, worried that her fears had snatched a moment's peace away from her. Of course, Urd wouldn't pull something strange, especially just after visiting Yggdrasil.
Or would she?
It was fairly obvious who was here, as she recognized the scores of cars parked around the vehicle garage. But what wasn't visually obvious was the large number of colored auras she sensed around their temple home. Or the *very high* level of divine energy...
"So that's why Keiichi was shoveling out that large patch of snow!" she said to herself with a smile. As almost in a response, Keiichi's hand tightened its clutch on hers. Belldandy realized that her mortal boyfriend also didn't have a clue as to why a crowd was gathered at her house.
They mounted the porch steps and stood on the enagawa that wrapped their temple home with a smooth wooden walkway. Freshly waxed yesterday by Megumi, Cevn and Tomohisa. She slid the large framed door open and looked inwards. The living room was totally dark, as if someone had snuffed out the lights. Since it was late afternoon, the sky was already purple with sunset. Belldandy felt a sense of apprehension as she noticed a powerful shielding spell blocking her from sensing what was going on in the house...
"Could it be Mara?" she thought, sensing some out-of-place distributions of divine energy. But even Mara wouldn't violate the Rule that prohibited conflicts between Goddesses and Demons on New Year's Day.
Sensing a quickening of her breath, Belldandy tried to pierce the darkroom-like interior of their living room...

***** *****
***** Surprise!!!! *****
***** *****

The temple burst into light, its glare almost blinding Belldandy. She jumped as her spine snapped its reaction to the sudden flood of flashes and sounds, casting a shimmer up and down her kimono. She could hear the sounds of noisemakers, whistles, clapping and popping...the latter as evidence of Skuld's penchant for pyrotechnics.


HAPPYYYYY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!!


"W...what?" she heard Keiichi stammer as her senses reeled.
"W..whose?"
"Happy Twenty-Fifth Decamillennium Day...ahem, er, 25th birthday, Little Sister!" Urd shouted roundly above the noise as she advanced and put an arm around Belldandy and shook her with sisterly affection before hugging her tightly. It was then that Bell noticed her mother and father's faces in the crowd, while Urd fastened a small gather of flowers into her hair.
"We wouldn't forget your birthday, Big Sister!" Skuld said as she dashed forwards and gripped Bell's hands, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Bell-chan, *what* is going on here? You didn't tell me it was your *birthday*!" Keiichi said in a high-pitched voice that betrayed his nervousness at the sudden explosion of people and sound.
Belldandy didn't know what to say, after all, it...
"I'll explain for her later, Keiichi. You really don't have anything to worry about, big boy!" Urd said, aiming a knowing smile at Belldandy.
"Thanks for the rescue, Urd!" Belldandy thought with silent gratitude. A moment later, several friends came up to her.
"So ah finally got ta meet yuh're folks!" Tamiya shouted as he hugged Belldandy and fastened a party hat on her.
"Yuh're Pa's even biggah than me!" the mesomorphic sempai exclaimed cheerily.
"It *must* be my birthday," Belldandy concluded as she whispered into Keiichi's ear. She hoped that he wouldn't be too confused by the fact that this was a much a surprise to her as it was to him.
"B'dandy dahling!!!" Mother's voice boomed in her ear. A split second later, Mother was whisking her away to the sister's bedroom for a private chat. Belldandy caught a glimpse of a bewildered Keiichi standing in the middle of the living room, surveying the abundant birthday decorations as Ootaki slapped a paper bowler hat on him...

* * * * * * * *

*Everyone* was here, Keiichi realized. Peorth, Bell's parents Odeyn and Freiija, a host of Belldandy's coworkers from the GRO that he had never met. Mara had sent birthdays wishes in absentia, as she was visiting her parents in Vanagdrasil. All the guys and gals from Whirlwind and the N.I.T.M.C.C. Lin and two of her friends, also transfer students from overseas. His two sempai were here with their girlfriends.
"*Serious* babe factor!" he heard Ootaki observe out loud, summing up the presence of a dozen or so Goddesses. This drew a nasty sidelong glance from his girlfriend, Satoko Yamano. Satoko was a junior, majoring in electronics. She had gotten together with Ootaki in her freshman year. With a little 'anonymous' help from Keiichi and Belldandy...
"Don't you forget who my father is, Ootaki!" she teased. Ootaki knew who her father was...Dean Yamano of the Electronics Dept. at N.I.T.
"J..just making an observation," Ootaki murmured in a subdued voice. Keiichi suppressed a snicker at his sudden change in manner.
"And that's *all* you'll make!" Satoko added. Ootaki had really lucked out...Satoko was considered the fifth most popular coed at N.I.T. And the most promising student in her class...finishing at the top of her class every term.
Actually, Ootaki had taken really good care of Satoko, as far as Keiichi was concerned. They were centers of gossip at N.I.T., because of his antics and her father's high position. Keiichi had spent many nights assisting Ootaki in extricating himself from one inexplicable situation after another. Despite Ootaki's rapscallion nature, Satoko really admired and loved him. After all, his quick thinking had prevented her home from burning down the first time she invited him to visit.
Keiichi found himself looking at his sister, realizing that *she knew* all about this little surprise party for Belldandy.

* * * * * * * *

Sora had arrived with Aoshima, much to Megumi's pleasant surprise. She still felt chills when she saw *this* Aoshima...because his appearance nakedly reminded her of *that* Aoshima, 40 years hence. After she returned to 20XX, Belldandy had 'debriefed' her, explaining that there was no way that 'this' Aoshima could develop into the megalomanic monster that had imprisoned her and Sayoko. In the first place, the temporal anomaly that created 'that' Aoshima was the result of their disappearance from 20XX...the fact that they successfully returned to the present negated any possible future Toshishima Imperiums. Despite being assured, Megumi was still a little edgy around him.
Sayoko was carefully eyeing Belldandy's coworkers, admiring the fantastic designs they wore. Several were dressed in skimpy outfits like Peorth, while others were dressed in fancifully elaborate styles bordering which pushed the envelope of avant-garde fashion. She *knew* that they were Goddesses, thanks to Megumi. The sci-fi dressed women were magnets to the male eyes in the room. She held Tamiya's arm tighter...a silent reminder to him that he daren't not let his eyes stray *too* far and long. Tamiya playfully bumped her with his hip, silently acknowledging her concern. His knowing grin was enough to allay her fears.
"Keiichi's parents are here!" Belldandy noted with alarm as she reemerged from her chat with Mother. Mother had given her the most meaningful Decamillennium Day present she had ever received. Belldandy still had tears on her face. Mother had basically offered her approval for Belldandy to date Keiichi. Belldandy had immediately broken down into tears of joy. She hurriedly composed herself, wiping her tears with the sleeves of her kimono.
She remembered how Keiichi's father had been dismissive of her in the extreme while she was nursing Keiichi back to health after his injuries during Supertyphoon Akira. But Kei's mother had warmed up to her almost instinctively. To his parents, she was just another gaijin...a transfer student who was living with their son. To Reiko Morisato, she was the apple of her son's eye...which made her every move sweetness personified.
Keiichi and Megumi's mother came up to her and hugged her grandly; her husband eyeing Belldandy icily.
"Just ignore ol' sourpuss over there, my dear! How's school going for you?" she asked. Belldandy almost had to laugh at the deceit, it was so ludicrous.
"Mom thinks that I'm a senior at N.I.T.," she thought, then chided herself. "Well, aren't I getting a little ahead of myself. I just called her *Mom*! Oh well, I'm allowed. After all, I'm the birthday girl!"
"How old are you, my dear? I'm sorry, but I forgot," Reiko Morisato asked.
"Twenty-five Deca...er, 25 ma'am," Belldandy replied politely. Bell reminded herself to *really* keep a eye on how she answered some questions tonight...several of the birthday party members didn't know about her divine nature. Fortunately, Urd had briefed all the divines who were visiting from Yggdrasil; Bell wouldn't have to worry about any slipups from them.
"Well, if you ask me, you don't look a day over 21," kind Mrs. Morisato said, ignoring Bell's trip of the tongue. She was dressed in a matronly dark navy blue kimono with short sleeves, contrasted by an intricately knotted a pearl-colored obi. Soon, Belldandy was making fetching comments about her kimono, and the subject swiftly moved onto lighter grounds.
Looking out of the corner of her eye, she could see Osamu Morisato and her father chuckling over some piece of discussion that Ootaki was trying to plead.
"Ahhh...*that's* is a good sign," she sighed with relief.
"My husband seems quite attached to your father, doesn't he? Who would have thought..." Keiichi's mother observed.
Belldandy noticed Kodama, Hikari and Senrigan stealthily toting away a bottle of White Horse sake, presumably to party with Ganjin the Rat somewhere under the house. Which made sense, as Urd was too busy to break away a mini-Urd or two for him to share in the celebration of the New Years with a blissful inebriation.
"After all, they *all* were rodents at one time," Belldandy thought with a chuckle, remembering the origin of 'Mara's' Ninjettes.
All three shinobi girls had matching t-shirts which read "NINjette Grrlz", using the new Nine Inch Nails logo for the first three letters.

* * * * * * * *

Between Tamiya and Ootaki's antics, Sora's attempts to monopolize Aoshima all to herself, Skuld's show-and-tell with Banpei, Urd's liberal tippling of sake, Sayoko's lip and arm lock on Tamiya, Megumi and Genji's attempts to excuse themselves to return to Hokkaido, Cevn's sullen mulling around, Peorth's overdramatic elan and Bell's embarrassment at being the center of attention...this really wasn't a bad party in Keiichi's esteem.
It was certainly cool to see Bell's father and his dad getting along well. Bell's mother was still pretty standoffish to him, but she was bearing up well in the midst of the party. Keiichi could still see a noticeable condescension in her manner, but she was loosening up. Especially since Urd kept her afloat with glasses of iced Pepsi. Like mother, like daughter. Besides, it was obvious that Freiija was proud of how her daughter handled herself around so many mortals.
"Psst...Keiichi. Come'ere," Urd whispered in his ear. Keiichi looked at her with a "what now" expression. Urd was obviously basking in the glow of intoxication.
"I juss wanted to tell you about the deal wiff Bell's birffday, before I get too blasted," she said in a quiet voice for his ears only. Keiichi thought she was *already* 'too blasted', but this he wanted to hear. It had been bugging him all evening...
"Anyway, all Gods 'n Goddesses come into existence on New Year's Day. And because of the Ul'mate Forss, no one can remember when their 'birffday' is. Izzat cool or what, huh?"
"What's so cool about that?" Keiichi didn't know if this was another one of Urd's drunk meanderings or if it was the truth.
"Is's for real, K1! Because Belldandy doeshn't know when her Millennium Day is...is's alwayz a surprise! Our 'birffdays' have to be remembermembered by *someone else*! Don' you get it?" Urd said, weaving a bit where she stood as she rapped Keiichi's head with her knuckles, trying to drive the point home.
"Urd..." Keiichi complained as he brushed her arms away. She *was* pretty drunk. He thought for a moment...then experienced the "aha!" Urd was implying that it was necessary for a Goddess like Belldandy to rely on others in order to celebrate birthdays, because she truly didn't know when she was born. So the ones who cared for her the most were the ones who would know when to celebrate her birthday. It was upon to them to create a celebration for her.
And Urd had kept it a secret from *him* as well, so it would be a surprise for him too. Keiichi didn't know how to reckon with *this*. But after a moment, his face relaxed as he realized how the Goddess Birthday System represented another facet of interdependence among the divines.
"Ah...I see you unnerstand now!" Urd said as she refilled his cup, missing completely and ending up refilling his sleeve instead.

* * * * * * * *

After the party broke up, Keiichi could hear Urd cursing at Cevn. He had just fallen asleep when he was startled awake by her screaming something about "rings".
"Shut up, Urd," he muttered with a somnambulant voice. A moment later, he heard a loud crash. What now? Reluctantly getting out of bed, he walked into the hallway to see what the ruckus was about. He saw Urd with fearful expression, her face pallid as she held the broken neck of a bottle. Cevn was sitting against the wall holding his forehead, moaning in pain, blood dripping between his fingers.
"T..this is Bell's birthday party...and you had to do *this*!" Keiichi said angrily. Urd just shook her head at him.
"You *really* did it this time, Urd!" Keiichi thought sadly as he helped Cevn to his feet and took him to the hospital.