Ai No Kusabi Fan Fiction ❯ Remember ❯ Guy Remembers ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5 - Guy Remembers

 

I remember how at first I was tempted to tell Katze to go suck himself when he approached me with his request. Me go live with that Blondie cock sucking mongrel punk, Riki the Dark? Not on your life or rather not on mine. I knew that I was going to die out on the streets soon. Ceres wasn't kind to the weak, to cripples with no money.

 

But I was proud and Riki had gone beyond the pale to become a willing Pet of a Blondie. Oh yes, I understand that he had no choice at first but later when he actually came to love that bastard over me, I grew to hate him. So he was grieving over his Master's mind wipe? So Fucking What?

 

But then Katze played dirty, he offered to pay for my next meal and I was so damn hungry. Hadn't eaten in three days because I spent the last of my money days ago. When you have no money in Ceres, you have no friends. The wolves were circling just waiting for my most vulnerable moment. Waiting to claim that they killed Guy Haven, second in command of the famous gang called Bison when Riki the Dark was king. And then I was leader of that gang when Riki mysteriously disappeared. Fuck! If only they knew where that little prick really disappeared to I'd get a metal if I killed him. The thought of him being fucked by that Blondie bastard, it made my blood boil. And loving it, doing it willingly with Iason Mink and degrading himself to do it as that Blondie bastard's damn Pet, how could he?

 

What matter if I was a cripple, if the Bison was gone for over a year now? At least I was no God damn Pet taking it in the ass for a Blondie freak. I was still remembered even if the respect I once had was leaking away like the blood of a vic stabbed twenty times by some Lysome addict, I was still famous for being the last leader of the Bison and if anyone was to become infamous for killing me, it better happen before I was totally forgotten. "Bring it on you fucking bastards."

 

I remember…

 

The world looked so much less bleak with a full belly and the prospect of dying looked less inviting. With a show of reluctance, that was only half hearted I agreed to accompany Katze back to Riki's apartment where I could shower, clean my clothes, and get a full night's sleep. I hadn't slept well in weeks trying to stay awake to keep the wolves at bay for a little while longer but I was running out of time and maybe I could stomach putting up with Riki for 3 hots a day and a clean, safe bed. I was trying to convince myself that I wasn't desperate, just in an accommodating mood, for old times sake I kept telling myself.

 

I remember how I entered that apartment with a chip on my shoulder and a sneer on my face that lasted until I saw Riki. He was in worse shape than I was. When he walked out of his bedroom he was holding on to the wall as if he couldn't stand without it.

His hair was wild as if he hadn't brushed it in weeks, on his face was a look…so sad, so alone, and when he saw me, at first it lit up with a look of joy and welcome until he remembered what I said to him the last time we saw each other. When I warned him to never come back to Ceres because we would beat the crap out of him for being a fucking pet. I saw his mouth move as he silently said my name…”Guy” and turned away.

 

God he was pathetic looking, tear streaks on his face, a weary sadness in his eyes. I couldn't resist, he was hurting so bad. I took a step forward and held out my hand to him and like the little brother he was to me for so many years before we became lovers he rushed into my open arm and cried on my shoulder.

 

Sobbing my name and Iason's over an over as if trying wordlessly to explain to me what had happened. Even buried in Ceres living on the streets I had heard of what happened almost five years ago.

 

Logically, he should have gotten over it by now but Riki lived by throwing his heart into his world, he had always lived with that crazy impulse to follow his heart first and his mind second. He'd loved me lik that once and the thought that his grief was for a Blondie bastard flashed through my mind only to be banished the moment he put his arms around my stinking body and hugged me close, whispering that he was so tired he just wanted to die. From the time he was a child he depended on me for protection, to keep him safe and find the two of us a safe place to sleep for the night. Right now he needed a safe place to sleep and I knew it was in my arms or anyway one arm would have to do. He needed to love someone without reservation, someone who would love him the same way. That used to be me but for along time now, it was that Blondie Bastard but now it was my turn again, at least I hoped it was.

 

It was obvious that his heart was still with that damn Blondie Fuck but perhaps, I remember thinking then, perhaps I could at least fill in the blank spot where his heart used to be and let him rest safe again like he hadn't felt safe enough to do for years without his damn bastard Blondie who didn't even remember him now. I remembered the beautiful, laughing child he was and I remembered how much I had loved him once upon a time. Maybe that memory could be enough for both of us for now.

 

I remember…

 

He seemed happier after I moved in. Moved in, that was a laugh, I didn't have a thing to bring with me, not that I would have wanted to carry it into that beautiful clean apartment if I had anything of value. He stuck to me like glue, like a lost child who finally found a safe haven. I held him at night and woke him up when he cried out in a nightmare. I was his safe harbor, the reason he could sleep safe and rested for the first time in years. It felt good.

 

We were not really lovers at first, it was as if we had gone back in time and he was just the little kid who stayed by my side for safety, who snuggled into my side when we slept and dreamed good dreams while we lived in the orphanage. Finally, he cried less, ate better and eventually we did become lovers again. I knew every time I was in him when he was thinking of Iason because when we were through fucking, he would cry for a long time afterwards but there were times when we snuggled afterwards and kissed long soulful kisses and I knew that he was with me then, not Iason. After all the years he was mine again at least most of the time,

 

I shared Riki with a living ghost but I had come a long way since I was the arrogant youth who was the leader of the Bison. Sharing wasn't so bad. Later we did some traveling and he bought the two of us the latest matching bikes. I didn't even mind that he had all the money. When he tried to give some to me I refused to take it. It was his money from Iason Mink and I was content to let him have it all.

 

He bought me whatever I happened to admire so I learned to keep my enthusiasm about an item to myself or I would find it on my pillow or beside my dinner plate or in the garage. He was a generous lover and friend. I told him once that the best present he could give me was a smile or his laughter and I meant it, they were still so rare that when they happened it was a gift.

 

But then, some times we would fight for no apparent reason. It was mostly my insecurities biting me in the butt that caused our fights. I couldn't be convinced that if Iason came to get Riki that he wouldn't leave me flat in an minute. Even though Riki promised on his honor as Riki the Dark that he never would do that to me even if he didn't leave me his heart would. It ate at me sometimes and I would be a bastard and make Riki unhappy because I was such an insecure fool.

 

I remember…

 

Months before the anniversary of out fifth year together we heard that Jupiter was dead, a group of Blondies and lower Elite had finally brought her down. Amoi was free of her tyranny. I heard that instrumental in her demise was Iason Mink and Raoul Am.

 

I remember being afraid that Riki would leave me and return to Iason's side as soon as he heard. Then I remembered that the Blondie bastard had been mind wiped and didn't even remember his mongrel Pet and selfishly, I was happy about that. But still there was that nagging fear that Riki would go out one day and rush to see him, hoping to revive his memory, after all it had happened with that other Blondie, Yoshie or something like that, who had almost regained his full memory.

 

But Riki stayed by my side and seemed to be happy living with me. That made me very happy. We really did love each other even if I had to share his heart with that Bastard. Life with Riki was very good but I was restless sometimes and would go out without him, which he was Ok with it since he was not so wild for riding the edge anymore. I would ride my bike at top speed for the thrill of it. Sometimes I missed a life on the edge and riding my bike fast gave me that same feeling. I would come back to Riki renewed.

 

On the day we celebrated our fifth year together, he gave me the new bike I wanted and bought one for himself. We went riding the next day to test their limits.