Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction ❯ Employee of the Month ❯ Tour Guide ( Chapter 14 )

Artemis Fowl: Tour Guide

“And this,” the tour guide droned, “is the Empire State Building, pride of New York City.” Artemis Fowl sunk deeper into the back seat, already wishing that he was far, far, away from this abomination. “Did you know,” the tour guide asked, “that it was once the tallest building in the world?” Artemis winced and whispered to Butler, “Don't you think it would have been better if he had sounded even the slightest bit amused?” Butler ignored him. Huffily, he muttered, “Anyone could do that job!”

 

Juliet, sitting next to Butler, elbowed him, and then stuck out her hand. Butler unhappily placed a roll of bills in her hand. The top was a hundred. Artemis raised pale brows at that rather odd exchange. Holly, who happened to be with them at the moment, answered his unspoken question. “They bet on what you would think of the tour guide.”

 

Artemis turned to glare at the couple. Juliet smiled cherubically, like an angel. Not a good sign. Generally, it meant she was going to murderize you. Butler, on the other hand, seemed to be more normal. For him, anyway. He was frowning in an intimidating manner at the cowed tour guide.

 

The bleached face of the boy genius turned back toward his friends. “I can do it, and better than he can!” Unfortunately, the tour guide also heard this. Fed up with the insolent manner in which he was being treated, he raised his breathy voice and stated, “Mr. Fowl, I am quite fed up with your behavior. I challenge you to a competition, to determine the better of us!” Artemis raised his brows a graceful inch, “Oh?”

 

Sadly, the tour guide took this as consent… And let's just say that Artemis was not a happy camper.

 

Author's Notes:

 

TEGC: Hey! Wow, this is my third story in two days. I feel so proud.

 

Comment Replies!

Hollybridgetpeppermint: Yay! That was fun, and so was the one before it (alcoholics anonymous) :D great job! BANZAI! Thanks! I'm so happy to be back and writing. Anyhow - I've always wondered what “Banzai” means. Could you perhaps enlighten me?

 

Waterdragon719: Janitor. Artemis would kill himself before he became a school janitor. Better, a kindergarten janitor, with all the grubby little kids... Love all of it! Can't wait for the next one! Wow, thanks for the great idea. Though I think committing suicide would be a bit much… maybe just paying obscene amounts of money for someone to pretend to be him?

 

Athleticsrulz: It's good to see you back! And with two updates *squeals* like 2 for 1 deals at places! Ahem. What about Artemis as a vet/vet's assistant? My dog just went to the vet today, and you really didn't need to know that! Keep up the good drabble-ing and have a merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to you as well! It is nice to see that I am greeted with such exuberance! *grins*

 

Nazgulqueen: Heehee, Artemis as a hula dancer-a truly frightening image! Yep~! I got that from a reviewer… who I forget (sorry!).