Bastard!! Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Macross Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Shades of Humanity ❯ Chapter 10

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter 10

~>|<~

There are moments in everybody's life, when they sit down and they
think about death. Life is the dying process, naturally. For some
races, it's slow and for others, they don't last more than eighty
years on average. And when these people think about death, they
usually picture it far off down the road. Years, decades, centuries.
But it never occurs to them consciously, that death could come take
them that very afternoon. The only reason, I believe, humans are able
to cope with life, is that the human brain, that huge computer, that
gigantic storage system, stores things away where a human can't find
it. The brain is like a parasite. It controls and manipulates and
pretty much feeds off the body. If the brain knows thinking about
death will make the person depressed or suicidal, it will try to lock
it away. Sometimes, most of the time, it succeeds. But there are
always people out there who either deal with death often, or just
can't stop thinking about it, can't stop dragging it back from the
abyss of forgotten memories, ideas, plans and regrets. And then they
think like me.

So when people think about death, they think about dying when they're
old and their lives have been completed. By my race's standards, and
my own unique powers, I'm still a child. And while I may be
emotionally, I am not mentally. I am ready to die today, if I have to.
But I suppose even though I act like I'm different from everybody, I'm
really just like them. I picture myself dying in bed with my wife of
over one hundred years, our three or four children mourning us for a
while before moving on with their lives and dying in a similar
fashion. I picture my life being ended perfectly, no loose ends, no
regrets, no grudges and no enemies. But life is rarely ever that
perfect. If it were, we would all live in some ethereal Utopia, and we
would not die. We would be immortal. We wouldn't be angels, well, some
of us would, but just supreme beings with more power than the mortals.
We'd be happy. We'd frolic in endless meadows and dance in the rain
without catching cold. Life would be eerily pleasant, and grief, anger
and sorrow would not exist.

But what kind of life would that be? Because of my anger, I managed to
save my sister from endless humiliation. But because of lust, we were
victims to begin with. Because of my compassion, latent though it
often seems, I have managed to fall in love three times. And I'm not
sure how many people can honestly say that. But also, because of my
blind, unthinking rage, I have killed millions of people. Innocents,
in some way or another. And it's on days like these, when their
screams, and their begging for mercy, or begging me them to spare
their children which I never did, comes back to haunt me. It's days
like these that I sit down and I think about death. And I wonder if
I'm truly pre-pared.

"Freedan?" Phoebe poked her head in. He put down his pen and smoothed
back his hair with a sigh.

"Yeah?" He turned around and looked at her. He hadn't fed on human
blood since he returned three days ago, and most of his blood had been
drained from him in that freak spider accident to begin with. Phoebe
watched as he closed the book, before she walked forward and sat down
beside him on the bed.

"How are you doing?"
"Ok, I guess." He tucked the book under his pillow before leaning back
on his elbows. His eyes were dark blue. Ever since it happened, he
hadn't been hiding his emotions from anybody. He only felt
indifference. "Now what really brings you here, Phoebe?" He asked,
turning narrowed eyes towards her. "You've been busy with the wounded
men and women and those still recovering from the giant massacre."

"I know, you'd think they'd be fine by now but..." she sighed. "This
is what healers do." Freedan was glaring and she glared back, but
answered his question. "There was a woman who made it here right
before the Portals were destroyed."

"Really? Where is she?"
"Waiting in the lobby. Ice, Airiad and Sadi are giving her a hard time
as we speak." Freedan pushed himself off the bed and strode from the
room.

"Thank God for friends," he grumbled.

He threw open the double doors leading to the lobby and four sets of
eyes turned to him. The woman stood, trying to shove away the men but
they pushed her back down into the chair she had been sitting in.
Freedan sat down in another one not a yard away from her and she
paled, looking into those mirthless eyes. Sadi moved right behind the
High Lord with Ice to his left and Airiad to his right, conveniently
stopping her plans of escape before they could be put in motion.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Freedan asked in his soft
voice.

She gave him a stubborn look. "I already told them. I'm here to see
you!"

"What for?" Freedan asked.

"I won't talk about it in front of those three imbeciles!" She
snapped.

Freedan smirked, sitting back. "I think you will."

"What makes you so certain?"

The movement was so fast she completely missed it. Ice was standing
behind her, a freezing cold sword held to her throat. She swallowed
carefully.

"Your powers of deduction astound me," she said dryly. "I'll talk only
if he's back over there with your other minions."
"Hey! I'm nobody's minion, got that?" Sadi fixed her with angry red
eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Can I get on with my story?"

Freedan rolled a hand encouragingly. "Please do."

"Ok..." She smoothed back her mane of blond hair before meeting the
High Lord's gaze directly. "My name is Crysantheum Scallions. I am a
warrior priestess from the lands of Toan."
"Where is Toan?" Airiad asked.

She glared at him. "It's from a distant realm long since forgotten. I
have been traveling all across the Universe to find others like me."

"Like... you?" Freedan raised an eyebrow and then took her face in.
She had long, healthy blond hair, falling far past her shoulders. She
had open blue eyes, with slightly oblong pupils, giving her face a
slightly demonic quality. She had high cheekbones and full, sensual
lips. At the moment, she was studying his face as intently. "Ok, why
did you come to me?"
"I'm looking for my blood in you." She said softly, weaving a small
spell around him. He struggled slightly, but held up a hand when Ice
made another move for the girl. When she finished, she sat back,
looking disappointed. "But there isn't any."
"And what kind of blood were you looking for?"

"Eyrian."

Freedan's mouth dropped. "Eyrian? You have wings like Dragons, right?"
"Not exactly like Dragons. We're a variation off of them, our wings
are feathery." She removed her cloak, her movements slow, and long,
beautiful wings unfolded. Freedan took them in and measured the
wingspan at roughly thirty feet. About as long as Nerouki's. Silence
descended.

"So..."
"Yes?"

"If you're related to the Dragons, would you be able to find one?"

"Well, of course. I sensed all the Dragons had migrated here, so I
followed, thinking maybe they were attracted to an Eyrian. What I
found, when I came here, was mass destruction and your blood soaked
front lawn. What happened here?"

"Well," Freedan exchanged a look with his three comrades. "I was
chosen to help a woman save the Universe and along the way we
recruited a whole bunch of people and eventually her brother came and
attacked us, being the root of all this evil and in the end I got a
headache that could knock out Satan."

"What?"

"Take him seriously," Ice said. "He has an uncanny knack for having no
tact at all, but it also means he's blunt and hard to get lost with.
Misinterpretation is a whole other matter."
"Shut up, Ice." Freedan snapped. "So, what are Eyrians and what
happened to them all?" He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs
and leaning his head into his right hand, the left smoothing the
velvet cover of his chair.

Crysantheum took her seat and draped her cloak over her body. "Eyrians
are fierce fighters, closely related to both Griffins and Dragons. A
century ago my grandparents left the Eyrian Realm and took their
father, to the Vampire Domain. I was raised a Vampire, my lack of
fangs hidden from the public lest we be figured out. But my father was
abducted late one night three years ago and I've been on the run since
then. I am on a mission to find others of my race. My mother died
during birth, and so I never really knew her." She raised her
determined blue eyes to those of the High Lord's. "And I will not rest
until I find the power I have been sensing, the power of an Eyrian."

"Touching tale. Look Freno, I'm out. I have some other things I'd
rather get involved in, ok? Nice to meet you, Lady Scallions." Sadi
bowed curtly to Freedan and the stranger, before leaving. Airiad
watched him go before turning back. Ice had crossed his arms and
looked terribly bored with the whole situation.

"So the power is definitely here, in Shadowia?" Airiad asked to break
the silence.

She nodded. "I am positive."
"No chance that you could be wrong?"

"Damn it!" Freedan slammed a fist down and stood. "She's human, so of
course there's a chance she could be wrong! How big a chance can only
be determined." Freedan began to pace. "What does this power feel
like?"
"Oh Freedan..." Ice suddenly looked very sad and lost. "You don't
think..."
Freedan whipped around angrily. "I don't know!"

"What's happening? What are they talking about?" Crysantheum asked
Airiad.

The Elemental shrugged, his pale eyes locked on the High Lord. "We're
looking for somebody too..." he whispered after a while.

Crysantheum frowned.

~>|<~

"This is your room. You already know where the healer is, the High
Lord, Ice and myself. Sleep well."

"When do I get my weapons back?" Crysantheum asked, turning to look at
the tall man. Airiad smiled.

"Maybe when you find the Eyrian."

"Maybe? Maybe! Maybe?!" Her voice rose steadily in pitch until Airiad
winced.

"Dude, I don't control the High Lord's mood swings! Just stay on his
good side, as difficult as that will be, and don't let him forget he
has them. He does that with a lot of my expensive things too."

Crysantheum couldn't help but laugh. Seeing his joke hadn't been
missed, he offered a hesitant smile.

"We eat early around here. You want me to swing by and wake you when
it's time? I'm sure the High Lord will want to talk to you about your
past some more, and question you about this power you sense."
"Who is missing?"

Airiad sighed. "You see, there was a very enigmatic person that once
stayed here. She had the ability to melt even the coldest heart here,
and soon had even the High Lord chasing after her. Freedan doesn't
particularly like people that much, but she is just so different that
we all couldn't resist. Like moths to flame, ya know? So just a week
or so ago she suddenly went missing. Look, you'll hear more tomorrow
and you'll meet everybody too. I have a feeling I should say welcome
to the team."

"Team?"
"Yeah, you're gonna help us find her."
"But--"

"And we're gonna help you find them." He added quickly.

"Fair enough, I suppose."
"Good night Lady Scallions."

"Good night Lor Airiad?"

"No, Lors are everyday men, merchants, accountants and whatnot. A Lord
has power of the people like a Ruler. But Elementalis like myself are
referred to as TaliAiriad, or TaliIce."
"Are there any other Elementalis here?"
"Yes. Thousands, but I think you'll only meet Flaem tomorrow."

"Alright then. Thank you."

"Good night." The door closed quietly in his face and he turned on his
heel, walking towards his room. He rounded a corner and Ice abruptly
fell in step with him. "So, you were listening in, of course."
"I sometimes think you know me too well, Air." Ice said blandly.

"I sometimes think that too."

"Disturbing isn't it?"
"Very."

"So what do you think of her?" Ice asked.

"She's nice... Why? What do you think of her?"

"I think she's suspicious." They entered Airiad's room and Ice took
the couch while Airiad undressed and climbed into bed. He yawned but
propped himself up on an elbow, locking his eyes with Ice's. "First of
all, what was she doing with Elementalis weaponry, but not a hint of
Element in her blood?"
"She's an Aquarius, Ice. She holds some of the water Element in her."
"But not enough required to own weapons such as the Water Lance and
Watery Demise. And she couldn't have stolen them, as she'd have to
kill an Elementalis and then inhabit its soul, thus forfeiting her
own. She seems like she's her."

"Ice, you and your introspective thoughts. You've been brooding for a
while now, haven't you?"
"I once thought Des of Death was too introspective."

Airiad smiled peacefully. "That wacky screelish!"
"Indeed. Well, good night, Air."
"You're leaving already Ice? You just got here! You've only begun your
tirade!"
"I know." Ice walked over towards the door and leaned against the
frame. "I think I'll wait until tomorrow to learn more about her. Hey,
do me a favour?"
Airiad had his eyes closed by now. "Sure. Anything you want."
"Challenge her to a Shadowian duel tomorrow."

They shot open. "Ice!"

"Just do it!" And the door slammed shut.

~>|<~

Airiad knocked on the door, chagrined when it slid open to reveal
Crysantheum's back. She was staring out the window of her room, but
when she heard the door swing open she turned around. She was more
wiry than she at first seemed, but other things caught Airiad's
attention. The light from the torches hit her hair, making it shine
almost angelically beautifully like her eyes. She wore a form-fitting
red shirt and a long, sweeping black skirt. She smiled warmly at him.

"I didn't get any sleep. But I did think about you a lot."
"All the women do," he said without thinking. "It's obviously my
charisma." He felt a blush creep into his cheeks at the realization
that he had, in fact, used his `out loud' voice. He was an idiot.

"Or your modesty, it's a tie between the two," she laughed. "No, I
just wanted to thank you for treating me like a guest when really, I
am a prisoner."
"Prisoner my arse. The High Lord always had a soft spot for the lovely
ladies."
"I thought he didn't like people much."
Airiad shrugged. "What do you say we let me shut the Hel up and hurry
on down to the dining room? Freedan is one helluva cook, although I'm
sure Yamaria fixed something today. And really, despite what the
others say, she's really not that bad."

"Ok." She smiled again.

She entered the large dining room to absolute chaos. Airiad mentioned
that this was normal; that any quiet breakfast with less than fifteen
people would have been unusual. She sat down in an empty seat next to
the man who had accosted her the night before, and what could have
been a brother to Airiad. Freedan was sitting at the front of the
table, facedown on the table and hands at his sides. Loud snores could
be heard, but they were coming from Phoebe, who was slumped over at
the other end of the table.

"Um... what's going on, TaliIce?" She asked in a whisper.

He looked down at her and offered her half a smile. "This is our
wakeup ritual. The fresh fruit will come in and the High Lord will sit
up and pretend he wasn't lying facedown on the table. When the tea is
brought in, Phoebe will be awakened and will drink half of the tea.
Then Airiad will complain and get more tea. When the French toast is
brought in here, Ambergris and Camille, the two kids, will gorge
themselves until they get sick and have to be excused. Then we all go
outside and workout."

"Fresh fruit is here," a middle aged woman announced, bearing a large
plate. She set it in the center of the circular table and Freedan
pushed himself upright. He ran a hand through his hair and, using his
Gyft, elevated a peach over to his hand. He bit into it, his teeth
looking white and sharp in the bright dining room. Crysantheum
shivered and reached for an orange. She slowly began to peel it
carefully, until the skin was off and in one piece. Ice whistled. Then
elbowed the High Lord.

"I told you it was possible!" He sneered.

Freedan's eyes narrowed. "Well I knew it was physically, I've just
never seen it done! So shut up and choke on those grapes!"

"What are we talking about?" Crysantheum asked the maid sitting beside
her.

The girl smiled. "You left the peel in one piece. Ever since I've been
here, the Elementals have been placing bets on who could do it."
"Elementals?"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm but a plain girl from the Human World. I believe,
here they're called Elementalis. By the way, my name is Noelle. What's
yours?"
"Crysantheum. You can call me Crys or Crysan if you like."
"What a gorgeous name! Like crysthanemums?"
"Yes." Crysantheum smiled. She liked this modest girl.

They began to eat, and Noelle seemed unnerved at being in the High
Lord's presence.

-Hey, sorry...-

-High Lord? I'm not very comfortable `pathing to you.-

-I know, I'll make it brief. What's your name?-

-Noelle. Noelle Havaway. Why do you ask High Lord?-

-You never thanked me for laying out the bandages and making the tea,
or giving you some strength.- Her eyes turned his way, but he was
talking amiably with Ambergris, trying to figure out why Amber was
dating somebody ten years older than her.

"Well you fell in love with somebody sixteen years younger than you!"
Amber snapped. Airiad's arm snaked around the girl's shoulders
affectionately.

"Easy girl, easy." Airiad laughed.

-T-thank you, High Lord.-

-Noelle, can you fight?-

-I'd like to think all Shadowian residents can.- She snorted.

-Then join my team.-

-Your team? High Lord?-

-Every time I go out, you'll notice I was always with Ice, Airiad,
Rhiannon, Joseph, Nerouki, Sadi and Flaem. How would you like to join
us?-

-I haven't the training!- She stammered.

-Did it seem like I was making idle chit-chat? I meant to convey that
I was willing to teach you, were you willing to learn.-

-I don't know, High Lord. I feel as if my skill lies within healing.-

-Suit yourself. You know where we spar after breakfast.-

-Indeed I do, High Lord.-

-Good. I'll take you on someday.-

"Pancakes and French toast are here," Yamaria served the food and the
tea Airiad was complaining about, and then she joined them, feasting
on the food.

~>|<~

Noelle meekly walked out on the front lawns. Freedan had managed to
rid it of all the blood and body debris that had littered it not ten
minutes earlier. She looked at all the men, wearing nothing but their
pants and boots, and Flaem's female companions wearing lycra shorts
and sports bras. She winced. It was unusual anybody looked good in
lycra, but these women did and she was jealous. Noelle quickly ran
back inside and changed into a sports bra of her own, and some baggy
pants. She tucked them into the tops of shin high combat boots and
pulled on a wrist guard for her right hand, before going back out.

Freedan was fighting with Ice at the moment. Freedan dodged a punch
aimed for his head, came up under it and decked Ice in the jaw, making
the man take a small step back when any normal person would have
fallen or at least let out a stream of obscenities. Ice jumped in the
air and kicked Freedan in the chest, and as he landed on his left
foot, kicked the High Lord again, knocking his legs out from
underneath him. The instant his back hit the ground, he pushed his
feet up and forward, launching himself into a standing position, and
sweeping down and forward to avoid Ice's punch. He kept moving and
rammed the Elemental in the midriff before Ice swung his arm down and
knocked Freedan over. Noelle stepped forward and Freedan slowly looked
up, until he met her grey eyes.

"Noelle!" He said, quickly climbing to his feet. "I didn't expect you
to come!"
She smiled shyly. "Yamaria overheard your offer and thought I would do
better learning about things other than healing."
Freedan winked. "I do too. I have an eye for this sort of thing."

Ice walked over and put a hand on Noelle's shoulder. "You do, don't
you?" Ice smirked before offering his hand. "Good match."
Freedan took it. "My ass. You're out of shape."
"Still had you on the defense more than most."

"Ice! Stop talking and fight!" Fieria snapped, waving a hand. Giving
Freedan a wink, he walked over to Flaem's companion, and the other
woman, Ignitia, said she wanted to take on the winner. Their fight
began.

"Noelle, do you fight at all?"
She shook her head.

"Well, as you know, there are different styles. I personally, prefer
Capoeta, Ice uses Tae Kwon Do, Airiad Kenpo and Flaem Muai Thai
Kickboxing. We're all different but equally effective."
"Will you explain these different types?" She asked, as she followed
him to a bench where they could see the others sparring.

"Sure. Point to somebody you think is using an interesting technique."

"I was impressed by Ice," she said sheepishly.

"Ice uses words," Freedan replied, rolling his eyes. "And Tae Kwon Do
is an integrated and complete system for self-defense and personal
improvement. The aim of training is to improve the whole person, body
mind and spirit. You'll learn to use virtually every part of your
body--""
"High Lord!"
Freedan turned and groaned inwardly. The Galbarsch Universe had a
complex government where everybody had a boss, everybody that is,
except the Pass of Hand. Who just happened to be walking towards him.
Freedan excused himself from his conversation with Noelle, who looked
on curiously as Freedan grabbed a shirt, pulling it on over his head.
He bowed briefly to Jilopshi Verdezzni before tucking his hands in his
pockets and fixing the older man with a look of intense hatred.

"High Lord, you look well."
"Well enough to fight." Freedan snarled.

Verdezzni winked. "Just the words I wanted to hear from you, my man.
You see, there are nine Universes, can you name them all?"

Freedan glared at this condescending man. "You know I can."

"Then do it!" Verdezzni snapped.

"Starting at the top and going clockwise there is Galbarsch,
Halbarsch, Kanarsch, Danarsch, Junarsch, Unbarsch, Oparsch and in the
center Leundia."
"Excellent." Verdezzni crossed his arms. A map materialized before
them and Freedan studied it. It was the map of the Galaxy they were
in, with a large planet on the outer rim, beneath Junarsch by quite
some distance. "That there, is planet X, and they have launched an
attack on Oparsch. Our planets protect Leundia, but nobody knows why.
We've never met the Leundians, nor had we made any contact with them,
or they with us. We are loyal to strangers. The Handonian Galaxy is a
strong thing, and we will protect Leundia regardless."
"I don't care." Freedan shrugged and turned away.

"This is intergalactic war and you don't care!"
"No, I don't. I told you Verdezzni," Freedan looked at the ground,
still not turning around to face the man. "I am a loner, and I care
only for my people. This is below me. Go on and fight your silly
wars."
"You're fighting this war too."
"What makes you think I will?" Freedan turned around, a malicious
glint in his eye. He was angry, and Verdezzni didn't like the High
Lord when he was angry. He was dangerous when angered, and Verdezzni
knew when to tread carefully, although he very rarely did.

"The inhabitants of planet X are a particular race that live among us.
They originated on planet X and some have migrated here. You know one
such man, and he ended up almost destroying your people. The
inhabitants of X are Ban'nin de Morte."

Freedan stared. "No!"
"Yes. You're going to fight in this war, Freno; whether you like it or
not."
"There's not to much I can do when the fighting is in outer space."

Verdezzni smirked and turned to his female assistant. "Suzaku, please
bring in the battloid."

"Battloid?" Freedan whispered.

And then he saw it. Just like from Robotech and Gundam Wing.

"The idea came from anime series like Gundam Wing and Robotech. The
idea originated from Transformers. Now it has manifested into our only
hope for survival."

"This mecha..." Freedan frowned up at it. "It's huge!"

The people who had been sparring not a yard away walked up to whisper
about the large robot-like jet thing on Geria's front lawns.

"I have a whole legion of them at your personal disposal. You'll take
orders from General Commander Dante." A man with long white hair,
dressed all in black stepped forward and removed his glasses. Pale
blue eyes stared at Freedan with an intense gaze that unnerved the
man. They shook hands.

"I've heard a lot about you, Freedan." Dante said, his expression
indifferent.

"None of it good, I suppose."
"You are correct. You'd better not step out of line during this
Freedan. Or I'll make sure you lose everything dear to you."

"In that case, Dante, you're too late." Freedan seethed. He turned to
Verdezzni. "What do I have to do?"
"Dante has some men waiting for you to command. You will go through
the training simulations in one hour before heading out into space.
The men you'll lead are experienced and will coach you and help you
make decisions, although ultimately, they cannot disobey you."
"I refuse. I will lead my own men."

"Who?" Dante smirked.

"Us!" Noelle snapped before she realized what she was doing. A slow
smile spread across his face.

"I have a list in my office of those I usually rely on to help me with
missions. Why don't we all go inside and have Phoebe make us some
curayet."
"We don't drink on duty."
"Well I sure as Hel do. Are you coming or not?"

Freedan came out of his study a moment later with a thick file. He
pulled forth a single piece of paper and handed it to Dante who looked
it over with a critical eye.

"All these people with the exception of Las Havaway, are expert
fighters with more than one weapon and they all control the Gyft. How
interesting."
"Yes, and they'll take the courses with me or we don't take them at
all."
"Fine. I will bring in the flight instructors now." Dante stood and
left briefly, returning with a man and a woman, both in flight suits.
The woman was tall with long green hair and grey eyes, a startling
contrast, as was the man beside her by comparison. He had shoulder
length black hair; so black it seemed unnatural. And his eyes were the
most startling brown Freedan had ever seen. Not your typical brown,
but somehow light and dark at the same time, with a friendly feel as
well a malicious undertone. Freedan was stunned. They both bowed
briefly.

"I am Chief Instructor Jezebel Gibson, and this here is my partner in
crime Gideon Setsukazi."

Setsukazi made direct eye contact with Freedan, a lingering look with
no real emotion behind it. Just sort of saying I know you exist.
Freedan frowned but the moment was so brief, that he was frowning
because he was not so sure if the moment existed.

~>|<~

"Freno! You're not concentrating on the simulation!" Setsukazi was
yelling above the din of gunfire and destruction.

Freedan jerked back on the controls with a grimace and suddenly turned
off his jets. He set the craft down in the middle of the open field in
the Human World and looked out at Gideon who was stalking up to his
plane. Freedan opened the Plexiglas top and hopped down from the tall
mecha, coming easily up to Gideon's shoulders. Hm, it appears somebody
uses their height as well as I. Freedan squared his broad shoulders,
thinking angrily at Setsukazi You don't intimidate me!

"What the hell do you think you were doing up there?" Gideon was
yelling. "You were not only spacing out, but had that been a real
battle, you could have destroyed your life and your crews' lives! What
in the world is so important that you can't concentrate on learning
the vital tactics that will save your life up there?"

Freedan's eyes narrowed. He would not have this, this commoner...
condescend-ing him in part of his own bloody territory!

"Forgive me, Lor Setsukazi. I was wrong to have been thinking of
irrelevant issues up there. I could have killed my friends. I am
sorry."

Gideon crossed his arms. "I see that's something that's been
rehearsed. What's your deal Freno? You've got the words right, but the
feeling isn't there."
Freedan raised his eyes. How could this man ever understand the
humiliation he had gone through? Of having to be the best... of having
to be worthy!

"What are you thinking?" Setsukazi asked so softly, so gently that
Freedan blinked.

"That I was wrong." He turned to climb back up into his carrier. And
that I'm weak. I had my rage concentrated on you, but I didn't
explode. Why?

"You're very bad at lying." Gideon was saying blandly.

Freedan smirked and turned around. "You should have seen me when I had
a love life." He closed the Plexiglas and fired up the engines. He
roared back into the simulation and concentrated on everything he
learned. That night, things proved to be even tougher. There was going
to be a banquet. He groaned. In their honour.

~>|<~

"And our newest recruits, and men of reputation are, in alphabetical
order, the following." Verdezzni held up a hand to cease the clapping
just waiting to commence. "My wonderful assistant here, Julie Anders,
will be happy to present to them, their official UGG uniforms!"
Thunderous clapping ensued and Freedan wanted to drown the Pass of
Hand in his bowl of soup.

"Truisch Syphon Belhelmel, class G. Kuririn Flaem Burnheart, class G.
Airiad Calyphis, class G. Greshym Ice Diarnia, class G. Mr. Joseph
Elliott, class G. Freedan Phoebus Freno, class G. Phoebe Felicia
Freno, class G. Noelle Marie Havaway, class G. SaDiablos, class G.
Rhiannon "The Word" Rahl, class G. Crysantheum "Monkey" Scallions,
class G. And finally, Ukatani Murasame Takashi, class G." The applause
was explosive and Freedan felt the beginning of a migraine that would
last him for his entire space expedition.

Freedan was looking at Setsukazi for most of the meal, and towards the
end, when he had to stand beside Jezebel, he turned and saw Freedan's
gaze. Something about how Setsukazi took it all in stride made Freedan
wonder if the man knew he had been watching him, his every spoonful,
his every amiable laugh, his every intake of breath before launching
into a war story. He had a few war stories of his own.

~>|<~

"Freedan! What is the matter with you? You've been acting strangely
ever since the Pass of Hand gave you this mission!"
Freedan opened his eyes and looked up at Noelle, who was peering down
at him.

"Noelle, it's the middle of the god damn night. We have to fly out
tomorrow. I don't know what the Hel the joystick to the left of my
seat is and I haven't devised some sort of way to destroy Verdezzni.
Would you please go to sleep?"
"Destroy the Pass of Hand? That would make our entire government
crumble!"
"One can only hope," Freedan muttered, rolling over on his side.

"Freedan, what is the one thing I hear disgusts you more than anything
else?"

He could almost picture her standing there, long hair hanging over one
shoulder as she cocked her head, placing a hand on her hip.

"Women pestering me in the middle of the night," he suggested
helpfully.

"Weakness."
He was listening now, and she knew it.

"Well lemme me tell you a little something about weakness. As a healer
I know all about it. You're weak, Freedan. And I'm weak. We're all
weak in some way or another, but it's our strong points that define
us. And at the moment, you're running away from everything, from
everything that makes you strong, that could help make you strong.
Jesus Christ Freedan, that's the weakest thing of all. When you can't
even confront anything. Where's the strength in running away?"
"I'm not running away from anything," he snarled, more at the wall
than at her.

"What. Are you regrouping? Doing a little reconnaissance? You tell me
what exactly you are doing. You're risking not only your life, but
eight others, just because of some weakness. What happened to the
strong man Shadowia both feared and loved? What happened to him that
made him so weak and feeble minded, that he couldn't operate a simple
battalion when somebody asked him to on a whim? Who couldn't even find
the strength to look when a woman, a commoner, a healer of little
talent, is reprimanding him on something he holds so dear. What
happened to you!" She yelled suddenly.

The door quietly opened and an icy presence filled the room.

"You have overstepped several boundaries this night, Las Havaway."
She clenched her teeth and turned around, scared for her life, but
proving to the High Lord she was strong. "Indeed I have, TaliIce. But
I believe I have good reason and I will stand by them this night."
"Stand by them in the privacy of your own room them. We don't need you
keeping us all up trying to convince Freedan to crawl out of his
hole."

"Fuck you, Diarnia." Freedan growled, pulling the blankets tighter
around him.

"I offered you once but you calmly refused," Ice said smoothly. Noelle
was staring at him and he offered her a sly smile. "I was curious.
Now, would you like an escort back to your room?"
"I am perfectly capable of making it back myself."
"I'm sure you are, however, that is not what I asked."
"I don't care what you're going to ask, it will not make me leave this
room until I have the answers I have sought." She stuck her chin out
stubbornly, trying not to look so deeply into those inhuman eyes.
Those unfeeling eyes.

"You will leave this instant. You will take your answer and cram it in
your loud, insensitive mouth as you leave this room."

"Fine. What's my answer?"
"Fuck you," Freedan mumbled.

"Precisely. But the answer to your question is merely another
question, simple in form, but not always so easily answered."
"Your riddles are not appreciated!" Noelle snapped.

"Nor is your intrusion!" Ice gripped her arm painfully, but suddenly
relaxed his grip and his presence became sexual. It always startled
her how Ice, Airiad and the High Lord could do that with their auras.
Make a woman so full of lust, but then to have her left unfulfilled,
only to find it was some sick joke played by the trio. "Tell me
Havaway, have you ever been in love?"

And with that, she found herself on the other side of the door.

What happened to the High Lord? He fell in love?

~>|<~

They were up in space and talking freely about monopoly when Noelle
contacted Freedan on a secure line not even Headquarters could tap
into. She expected sorrow, introspection, confession, but what she got
was blind rage.

"What! More questioning? More uncaring intrusions upon my personal
life? Wasn't satisfied with the answer Diarnia gave you? What is it
you want from me Noelle? I take you in under my wing to offer you more
than just being stuck in Geria healing the wounded, however rarely
they got wounded, and this is how you repay me?"
"I care, High Lord." She said quietly when he paused for breath.

"Care about your own selfish inquiries! You wanna know what happened?
Take it up with Death Himself!" She found he had disconnected her. She
turned her screen on to see Freedan shoot ahead of his troops and then
they were quickly following suit.

Did something happen? Did somebody you love die?

Without warning they were being attacked and Noelle found herself at
loss for everything she had learned in the previous three days worth
of training. She could only gape as she saw an enemy missile headed
right for her head. And a jet shot in front of her and took the blow
before exploding and sending her craft back from impact. Her carrier
slammed into Ice's, who cursed profusely at her and shoved her away
before continuing trying to fight off whoever he was dealing with at
the moment. Little did he know he was fooling around with a rubix cube
in outer space. She learned this later from a bemused Freedan, who was
impossibly drunk while telling the tale.

But I digress...

The enemy attacked fiercely and the numbers were too large.
Setsuzaki's voice was screaming through their collective intercom,
telling them to self destruct, to take a few more of them out. Freedan
had punched his screen, shattering his fist, spraying acidic blood
everywhere.

I have been lead down hard paths, and I was born running down one, now
that I think of it. I have walked with Death many times, and I have
succumbed even more. By my choice and taken, not of my choice. But I
have died and because of the Gods' sick twisted humor, I am unable to
die completely, and I always come back. I always come back. Back to
this sorry life of mine. But then she came along. And God, even though
she radiated death from her, she was a ray of sunshine. I would gladly
die a thousand times more for her, and knowing what death is like, I
feel I am qualified to say that, and have those words hold some
weight.

So I did die for her. Several times, no more than three, but I did not
get to do the one thing I wanted to do to her more than anything. I
need to do this with her, for her, for myself. Because what am I if I
am unable to fulfill her every desire? What kind of husband would I
make? And here I am, about to die for her again, and thinking about
what kind of husband I would be. The imposter kind. That's what. So I
am looking, right now, at the Ban'nin de Morte fighter pilot, his face
twisted with hate on my screen, and I am completely calm. How can I
consider her people my enemy? How could I betray her in any way? On
some l suppose I have betrayed her as I am here now, instead of with
her. My dream though... Just once I would have loved to make slow love
to her. I find myself slightly taken aback by such a tender thought,
but when it comes to her, I am always amazed.

The fist punched through the Plexiglas but his thoughts continued on.

She may be dead, but I am not human. Although she is a rotting corpse
in theory, I love her for her personality. The body she has taken on
embodies all that I associate with beauty now. She has reshaped my
life and she was right. I am weak.

He was lifted into space, his air rapidly running out. His men were
unconscious in other battloid hands.

Nerouki. I never told you enough I loved you, and how you made me
realize that falling in love more than once is a gift I have been
throwing back at the Gods. Gods. Hah! We are Gods now. But what God am
I if I can only wallow in my self- pity when you're lying there, soul
totally obliterated. Just once, I would like to have seen your body in
the candlelight, your sweet face snuggled up against my shoulder, as
we lay there, exhausted but satisfied. Just once, I would like to
have...

His brain gave up, and darkness fell in.

~>|<~

"This is pathetic!" She spat, slamming her fist down on the table. "I
was rescued and brought to this wasteland? How can I perceive this as
being rescued?!" She hooked buzzed black hair behind her small ears,
her eyes glaring hotly at the ambassadors sitting before her, looking
uncomfortable and unsure of their words.

"Lady Death," Ambassador Kalsein said softly. "We are doing all we can
to destroy the Galaxy."

"I suppose telling you to try harder would not make things Magickally
better." She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Your best is not good enough
for me! It was from that Galaxy that I was brought forth and turned
into this creature of such fearsome loathing and now I will pay them
back tenfold! However, unless you up your standards and what you call
`your best' I will never achieve my goal and the Ban'nin de Morte will
never rule supreme! Because that is all you people really want, isn't
it?"
"Lady Death, people want to be ruled. They spit with disdain at the
weak and swear fealty to the strong. It only makes sense that we, one
of the nearly indestructible races take the upper hand and make those
pathetic mortals bow down to their rightful Gods!"
Lady Death fixed him with her black gaze. "And who are we to judge?
Are we Gods? What is a God, how is one recognized as such? I don't
think us Gods, Sarcastor, I just think us powerful."

Sarcastor was rolling his eyes, about to come back with a sarcastic
retort when a man walked in, hostages in his grip. One opened his
almond shaped eyes and looked up, confused by her presence. "Who are
these pathetic humans?"
"This is the High Lord. A Class G Fighter Pilot from the Galbarsch
Universe and man of high political status. He was hired to fly his
crew and destroy our attempts at overtaking the Leundian Universe."
The woman in black narrowed her eyes. My God... He looks so
familiar...

Freedan shrugged his guards off and stood tall and proud. "Who are
you?"
"Lady Death." She said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her
legs.

"What am I doing here?" He spat a moment after uncomfortable silence
ensued.
"That is an excellent question. What are you doing here?" Sarcastor
snapped.

"I was sent out here by the Pass of Hand to have you cease your
attacks and possibly negotiate with you, to try to reach some sort of
truce."
"Tell me High Lord, do you know what it is like to be dead, and unable
to fit in with the living? To crave blood and flesh every time you
make eye contact with them? That is what being Ban'nin de Morte is all
about. And High Lord, do you also know how to kill a Ban'nin de Morte?
Because that is all we truly crave, death. To be saved from this
eternal lust and suffering."
"Sounds tragic but I really don't think I can help you. We don't want
killing, we want peace."
"Ban'nin can never live peacefully with man!"
"Not true, Lady Death." His eyes got misty and he took on a sort of
sad smile. "I was in love with a Ban'nin de Morte. She... her name was
Nerouki--""
A jolt rushed through her body. ...Nerouki?

"And she was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me."
"And me!" Ice perked up, showing Freedan his toothy grin. Freedan
rolled his eyes and turned around to see Lady Death right before him.
That's funny; she looks almost exactly like Nerouki did when she
didn't have her shields in place. But she has no face, so how can I
really be that sure.

"You fell in love with a Ban'nin? Even though she looked like the rest
of us." A bland statement.
He smiled. "I did. And if I had to go back in time, to go through the
hardships required in order to meet her, I would. I'd do it all over
again."

"Hmph. Pathetic human. What happened to this Nerouki?"
"She... died." He said, his eyes dropping.

"How?"
"I don't know, dammit! She was with us in battle and had just regrown
her legs which had been cut off, and when we were preparing to leave,
she was gone!"
"So you presumed her dead?" Lady Death raised an eyebrow.
"Wouldn't you? It's been a month."
"Maybe she realized that the ways of battle are unnecessary, or maybe
she realized that love is for the weak. Somebody once told me that
emotions were for the weak, and it took me months to realize he was
right."

"To deny emotions is to ignore life. To purposefully not live it to
its fullest, which is the point of all existence. To live, and to die.
To be happy..."
"Are you happy?" She asked, standing up suddenly. A long black cape
fell from her shoulders to the ground, flowing about her dramatically
as she tucked almost unnaturally black hair behind her ear.

"No. I never have been, and at the rate things are going, I never will
be." Freedan said darkly.

"So with that attitude, you will ignore an emotion, a facet of life as
you have it, and thus negate your purpose for existence?"
He blinked. "No. No! That's not what I meant at all."
She smirked. "What did you mean?"
"I merely meant the strong can recognize their emotions and use them
to their greatest ability, thus living a fuller life."

"But what about an autistic person, High Lord? Are they destined to
live only part of their lives?"
"There are deformities in everything that is created, to create a
balance, Death. Autism cannot be helped, just as dyslexia, and those
goofy three-legged dogs cannot be helped. Unless the dog gets a
prosthetic leg, but who the Hel would pay all the money to do it in
the first place? I mean, they'd have to really love that dog--"

"Enough!" She yelled suddenly.

He shut up and a blush crept up his cheeks. She seriously reminds me
of...

"Guards, take them to the dungeons. But leave this one," her eyes
settled on a startled Ice, "with me."

Freedan gave Ice a look before he was dragged away.

"Lady Death," Ice bowed.

"Please, TaliIce. Have a seat."
"Thank you milady." He waited until she had sat back down before he
did so. "What is it you wish to speak to me about?" He tried not to
wince looking into those dead eyes, into that rotting face. She was
the same race as Nerouki, just without visual shields. He had not
found Nerouki so disgusting. And this woman had a most peculiar
scent...

"I just want to hear your arguments for peace, that's all."
"The High Lord was sent here to negotiate, Lady Death. I am here
merely as a supporter."
"If you support him, you must have reason, yes?"
"Boy, you certainly love to debate, don't you?" He snapped, irritation
showing briefly in those pale, beautiful eyes.

She smirked. "Indeed."
"Attacks on Oparsch and Junarsch have drawn the attention of the UGG,
Universal Garbarschian Government's attention. We just want the
fighting to end."
"Do you not fight on your home planet?"
"Indeed we do, and that is enough violence we need in our lives. We do
not need outside interference."

"You remind me of the High Lord. You're both so damn sure of yourself,
you both speak with such conviction in your voices." She leaned her
chin on her palm and threw up visual shields. Ice felt as if his
entire world shattered. "I like that." She grinned viciously, showing
sharpened teeth, hideously deforming her beautiful face.

No! She's... she's!

Never made it as a wise man

Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'

Tired of living as a blind man

Sick of sight without a sense of feeling

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry

I was waiting on a different story

This time I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down, into the bottom of every bottle

And these five words in my head scream are we having fun yet?

It's not like you didn't know that

I said I love you and I swear I still do

It must have so bad

Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

Never made it as a wise man

Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'

And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me of what I really am

Lyrics by Chad Kroeger