Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ A Careless Whisper ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: this story is originally on FF.Net but it's being a bitch and won't let me upload right now. So im going to put the story on here too just incase in the future that site tries to eat shit again.

 

Warnings: Shounen-Ai/Yaoi/Self Mutilation

 

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Beyblade or any of its characters

 

A Careless Whisper - Chapter 1

 

Open eyes

Sit up

Get out of bed

Take shower

Put clothes on

Bind hair

Check arms/hands

Right. That, ladies and gentlemen, is my daily morning checklist. Everything on there needs to be done before I can even think about stepping out the door. Obviously one needs to open their eyes before they can sit up. To get out of bed would mean sitting up (unless, of course, I wanted to end up on my ass on the floor). To take a shower would obviously mean getting out of bed because as far as I know of nobody has yet to invent a bed-shower. I could put clothes on before I take a shower but then my clothes would get kind of wet. Now, binding my hair and putting my clothes on are fairly interchangeable. I could do either one first. But I would ultimately rather get dressed before hand because I really don't like the idea of binding my hair while wet, naked, and looking like some boobless version of Pamela Anderson in her Tommy Lee sex tape.

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm not the kid I was awhile ago, I'm not the happy-go-lucky, always smiling 16 year old Ray Kon. No. I'm the screwed up, deep thinking 18 year old Ray Kon. Back. Single and ready to mingle. Eh..not really. But I am back and single. Actually…I've always been here…and I've always been single. So, in retrospect, one could cancel out the last half of this paragraph.

Think im acting weird? I guess I am. Weird I mean.

So maybe I should explain a few things to you.

I cut. Not big time just when I feel like im getting too happy for my own good. Ill give myself a cut or two to remind myself that I am undeserving. That might sound crazy but I really believe that I'm unworthy.

`oh but why, Ray? You TOO are deserving. You're a member of the best Beyblade team around, you have talent and looks.'

Well…yeah. I do. But I don't deserve any of it. Not at all. You're probably asking yourself why I consider myself to be undeserving. The truth is…I am unworthy and undeserving because I really want to bang Kai Hiwatari.

Haha im sure you were expecting something more like “im gay” or “I love him”..eh..naw. Yeah im gay but im not really sure its love here. Infact im positive it's pure, raw lust that I have for the captain, oh my captain. And how does that make me undeserving?

Simple.

Because he is the vision of sex. The definition of a man at only 19 years old. Strong. Smart. Sexy. And very very straight.

And I? I am the vision of pathetic. The definition of a weakling at 18 years old. Tired. Suicidal. Thin. And very very gay.

I stared into the mirror, running my eyes of the image projected back at me. My hair was done. My clothes were on. Wrist bands and gloves covering up the damage done. I looked normal. Almost. I knew I was paler. Thinner. Weaker than I had been. But thankfully this team I call friends are all so oblivious to anything outside their own moments. Even -on-Legs himself hasn't seemed to realize my slowly deteriorating will to live.

Like I said, I'm thankful.

I want my end to come slowly for me but abrupt like a shot of ice water to the face for them.

I want to make sure they can't stop me.

Oh wow. 11 AM already? I need to go start on lunch for Christ sake. Kai said he wanted it ready before she showed up and I whole heartedly agreed to have it ready. Who's she? She my adoring audience is no one other than my captains girlfriend.

TBC..

A/N: I think this was pretty OOC =__= im trying to work on that. When I read a really good story or fan fiction I tend to pick up the writing and wording style of that person. And that's what happened here Dx so im sorry if it's a little out there. Read and review please