Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ Guilt ❯ Shattered hopes ( Chapter 6 )

The whole of France was passing by Faith as she sat in the train. But she wasn't really paying attention to the scenery. Instead she was reading a letter that had been in the envelope Robert had given to her.

Dear Faith

Do you now understand why I told you to open it on the train? Because otherwise you would've given it back to me, looking at me stubbornly and ending up missing your train. You never really did learn to accept that we like giving things away. Definitely when it can get you out of trouble.

After a lot of digging we were able to get everything in order. You exist now as a person with a name, a nationality and a bank account. We put the code near the card, but I think you realize that that paper has to be memorized very quickly and burnt. Did you really believe that we would let you go to Belgium empty handed? I know what you are thinking, we already did so much and that you're going to pay it back, but if we find any money sent to us, we'll send it back to you with double the amount you sent.

You need that money Faith, just in case Belgium is not what you expected it to be. I don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but a lot changes in 14 years. That's evolution for you. There's enough money on your account to give you shelter, and if you want to return there's more than enough on it to get you a ticket back to us.

You are always welcome to come back. Even though you might not have been gone for very long yet, we already miss you very much. The house and the team will never be the same without you ever again.

We hope to hear from you again soon

Sincerely yours

Robert, Enrique, Johnny and Oliver

She felt tears travelling over her cheeks, but she didn't know if it were tears of joy or sadness. She didn't even know why she was crying. She felt so guilty to not be able to repay their kindness and gifts. They had done so much for her and she did so little in return. After reading the letter another time she looked at the stuff that had been inside the envelope. They'd given her a wallet that held her new ID, her only ID in fact, Robert had been right, before she had only been a nameless face. Then there was her passport that was entirely in order, from her move to Russia to her move to Belgium. And then there was her banc card and even a fair amount of money stashed in there.

She sighed; she owed them so much already. But it wasn't over yet. They had given her a cell phone as well, fully charged and with all their numbers. Realizing that people were staring at her she put everything in her old backpack, which was lying on her lap, quite empty now that she possessed the suitcase, but patched up and looking a lot better than before.

She propped an elbow on the table, and putting her head on it she gazed out of the window, not really looking at the scenery that flashed by. She was thinking, trying to remember Belgium, and found her memory surprisingly void. All she could remember was Christmas with her mother, Chester's first birthday, and the stairs of her house, and other random things of her home. She smiled. She would be home again soon.

Though she full well realised that there were probably people living in her home she hoped that they would allow her to step into her home at least once more, just to say goodbye to it all. Then she could find an apartment with a mind that knew that she hadn't imagined her childhood, that there had been something nice before Biovolt, that she had been loved.

She ended up dozing of in a light sleep, smiling lightly as she dreamt of all the good things. She seemed so peaceful that even the man who checked the tickets doubted whether or not he should wake her up. But in the end his duty forced itself upon him and he tapped her shoulder lightly. As she looked at him questioningly he asked her for her ticket in French.

“Euh…”
She stared at him strangely. Even though she'd spent a lot of time in France, she hadn't really bothered to learn it. Everybody spoke English, why bother then? Then he asked her again in a language that sounded familiar. It was only later that she realised it was Dutch. When she still didn't seem to comprehend he asked her in English.

A blush appeared on her cheeks as it dawned on her that the only reason someone would come to you on a train is to check your ticket. Embarrassed she handed it to him. He just smiled and said that it happened all the time. He also told her that they would be arriving at her destination soon. And indeed soon enough she was standing in Bruges. And again she had to admit Robert was right. Things do change.

The whole station was in chaos, it obviously being remodelled, so far only her platform seemed to be finished. As people pushed past her to get to their connecting train a lot of realisations struck her at the same time. She realised to late how drastic her decision had been. If it hadn't been for Robert she would've stood here with no money, no knowledge of the language nor of the place. So at least she had money. But she knew that it wouldn't last her forever, she would need to find a job, learn the language and most of all…the way. She'd never felt as alone as she did now. What was she going to do?

-Maybe I should go down first- And so she did. The hallway below was even more chaotic than the platform, especially because there were so many people running about, trying to catch their train. Compared to the rest of the people her pace was slow and insecure, but she managed to get out onto the street a few moments later. She looked around. Where to now? All she had was a street name and a number, not exactly enough to just start walking. Then her eye landed on a map. Thank heavens, she thought as she went towards it, but her mood quickly changed when she saw that her street wasn't on the map.

There were a lot of people around, so she tried asking around. But they were either tourist, to busy or they didn't speak English. She felt like sitting on the curb and moping when she noticed a group of people looking at her amused. They looked local enough, but she wasn't really sure whether she wanted to ask them. It looked like they would laugh at her face instead of answering. But after another half hour of asking around she gave up, swallowed her pride and went towards the group.

She must have been glaring because as soon as they realised she was nearing, nearly all of them vanished, leaving only two guys left. They seemed unaffected because they were still peacefully smoking their cigarette.
“I know that people like me are funny to look at, but I just need help alright? Now can you help me or not?”
The tallest directed his chocolate brown eyes at her, smiling around his cigarette. He took it out and chuckled slightly and then bursting out in a small cough. Done coughing he smiled again.
“Chill lady, it was only the look on your face that was funny. Not you, you're very easy on the eyes you know that?”
She quirked an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed and regretting the fact that she even bothered. She was going to turn again when the shorter one took out his cigarette too and asked her what she needed. She pointed at the address on the back of her photo. He looked at it and then at the photo and then shrugged.

“Never heard of that place, sorry.”
She took back the photo, shrugged, thanked them for their trouble and left. She was almost at the big map again when she felt a hand on her shoulder; it was the tall guy again.
“Look, it's not because we don't know that it means we're not going to help you. Come with us, we'll find that street for ya.”
She nodded and they led her towards a building that was some sort of bus office. On the way she learned that the tall guy was called Maarten and the shorter one Nathan. As Nathan stepped towards the info desk Maarten let her to a stool.
“It's best not to gang up on those people, they get intimidated quickly and then you get no help at all.”
She just nodded, twirling one of the straps of her backpack around her fingers. She didn't mind the silence, but it seemed he didn't like it.
“So, where are you from? Denmark?”
“No, I've lived in Russia for a long time. Though I've been travelling a lot lately.”

“Ah, I was close wasn't I...sooo you decided to put Belgium on your passport too then?”
“No, actually I was born here; I just wanted to go back to my land of birth.”
“You never struck me as Belgian. But looks can be deceiving eh.”
He couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. She could understand the reason; for one thing she didn't really have the Belgian looks, being much paler than the standard one, not to mention her hair. But that stood out no matter where she went. She saw him looking in Nathan's direction and looked as well. He seemed to be in a hefty conversation with the person behind the glass.

Not really interested she looked at her backpack again. This was all so confusing, especially the language; everywhere around her people were talking Dutch, she knew, it sounded so familiar; but she couldn't make out a word. Noticing her frown, Maarten looked at her by bending over and putting his head on her backpack.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to find out if I can still understand the language.”
“Any luck?”
She shook her head. When answering the question about how long she'd been gone from Belgium he understood why she couldn't understand anything. She simply had been gone too long.

“Why did you come back after all these years?”
“There was nothing left in Russia for me.”
The small hint of sadness in her voice made Maarten ask no more. Instead he just talked about the perks and downsides of the small land and that she should really visit the chocolate museum, if only it was to see the biggest chocolate egg. At that she had laughed and even harder when he had looked offended.
“What? I can't help it if we're good at making chocolate. In my opinion we're even better than the Swiss.”
“I'm sure you are… but before I go visit anything I want to see my old home again, and maybe start looking for a hotel or something, not to mention a job.”
“Well, Nathan is looking into your old home, and if I remember right he's got a room for rent, don't know if it's still for rent though. The only thing you need to find on your own is a job. What are you good at?”

“Euh, beyblading, and that's about it.”
She smiled at him sheepishly. She never had had the time to learn anything else but beyblading. But he reassured her and told her to go to the local gym. They were always looking for decent bladers there, and the pay was fairly nice. Just then Nathan returned, smiling.
“You nearly gave the guy a headache you did. The guy was wracking his brain for half an hour. But it turns out your street was turned into a lane years ago. Changed name and the whole enchilada. It's quite far from here, but according to him there's a bus stop nearby. Here's your ticket. Now let's go.”

“Huh what?”
“You didn't think we'd just shove you on the bus did ya? We're going to be your personal guide for the day.”
“But you hardly even know me.”
“One word. Care. Now come on, that's the bus we need.”
They pulled her with them and got onto the buss. During the ride she took her time to inspect her two new comrades. They were nice, friendly and all in all very helpful. She didn't know why really, but then again, she never did. While Maarten was a person girls easily drool over, Nathan was more the jolly guy next door. Like a Santa clause, but without the big beard. They were talking while she gazed out the window. Bruges was best described as a city that was still like it had been hundreds of years. The streets were littered with tourists, taking pictures with their new flashy cameras. And occasionally you'd see the odd local looking cross because yet another tourist had nearly knocked him over.

“So, Maarten tells me you need a place to stay?”
“Wha…oh, yeah, do you know any cheap hotels?”
“Well, since you seem nice enough, I got a room for rent, didn't he tell you? The rent is fairly cheap and the extra billing will be shared. What do you say?”
“When can I move in?”
Laughing loudly he patted her on the shoulder and wiping away a small tear he told her she was quite alright. They ended up talking about some movie called monty python and were reliving the funniest bits. Faith had never seen it, but it seemed to be hilarious.
“Ah, here's our stop. After you madam.”

When they got out things were looking a little more familiar to Faith. She recognized the little bookshop across the street. And not much further was a small supermarket.
“That used to be a different one, wasn't it?”
She went into the street, the two Belgians following her. When she was getting closer to her house number she felt her heart beat faster. Would she still recognize the front? Would it still be the same mailbox? Was her old room still painted baby blue? Would there be a little girl living in that room too?
15…17…If her heart beat any faster she was sure it was going to burst…19…21…Grass
She stopped as she noticed there were no more houses past nr 21. There was only a park for children with swings and piles of sand. She didn't understand. She looked at Nathan frowning.

“This should be the place. Hang on.”
He walked over to an elderly lady with shopping bags in her hands. After a minute or so he called Faith over.
“She says this used to be the street you seek. So we're right.”
“What happened to the rest of the houses then?”
He asked and from the look on his face she could tell that it wouldn't be good news.
“They demolished everything past 21 when they made this lane. The people were crying for a safe place for children to play. I'm sorry.”

Her legs gave way and she fell to the ground. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to do anything to get rid of the huge gaping hole that had just been burned in her soul. But she just sat there, feeling very lost, and very alone. Her only wish had been to see her house again. The sole reason for going to Belgium was that house and the memories. But it was all gone, it had been torn down. A hand was placed on her shoulder and she saw the elderly woman look at her with pity. In very broken English she asked if she had any family living in there.

“I used to live in nr 27.”
“Can't be, dear, the only family that lived there was the Caels, and they moved to Russia years ago…sad really, the whole street liked them so much. We were all outraged when they tore that place down.”
“It can be. The Caels family doesn't live in Russia anymore. Lilian and Paul were buried there shortly after they moved. Chester, their son, was murdered and their daughter would have been too. But she ran and survived for the sole reason of returning home. But she realised too late that she survived for nothing but a pile of dirt. Her home and memories gone forever.”

“Faith?”The girl nodded, still not looking up at the woman, fighting against the tears of her lost hopes
“You've grown so much. I can't believe I didn't recognize you, but it's been so long, and you've been through so much. Come in for a cup of tea dear, it'll soothe your nerves.”
“No thank you.” She responded, her voice hollow. She needed time, time to think. Before she realised anything Joanne, for that was her old neighbours name, had gone into her house and came out with a big book.
“Here, this might ease the pain a little I think. My door is always open if you wish to talk.”

Acting on auto pilot she grabbed the book and stood up wiping a sleeve along her eyes. She didn't dare to look at Nathan and Maarten. They had found out more than she wanted them to know. She didn't want to see pity, not now.
But neither of the two made a move to pity her. It even seemed like they hadn't even heard anything. They led her back to the bus and it was only when she was in a foreign house that she came to herself a little. She looked at the both of them.
“You were going to rent a room here remember? There's no rent fee until you get back on your feet okay.”
She pulled out her wallet and shook her head. She had intruded on to many people when she voiced that opinion Nathan put a hand on hers.

“Look, I'm not doing this out of pity. I'm doing this because I've gone through shit myself and I had people helping me through it too. You could say I'm sort of returning the favour.”
She just nodded, not really in any shape to discuss. He showed her to her new room and she let herself fall onto the bed, too tired to do anything, even cry. She didn't know when exactly she had fallen asleep, but when she woke up it was around noon. Going to the living room she came across Nathan and Maarten, obviously home for lunch. They offered her a place to sit, but she went to sit in the sofa, looking at the television without even realising that it wasn't even turned on.

“You're going to have to eat you know.”
She didn't answer. She didn't see the two looking at her worried. She never even noticed that the men had gone until she saw that the table was empty. She scolded herself. How could she be so weak? It was only a house right? Wrong, her heart answered, it wasn't just a house, it had been home. A happy home.

Sighing, she decided that she couldn't just sit there and feel sorry for herself. She needed some fresh air. She wrote a quick note for Nathan and left, making sure to write down the street and number the house was in. After that she let her feet guide her. Even though it was a dangerous thing to do since she didn't know this city yet. But she ended up in her old street again. She didn't know how, but there she was, looking at the children's park. It seemed to be fairly unused by the looks of it. She guessed that her feet had been guided by her heart, to mourn and get over the loss.

“Looking at it won't get it back you know.” It was Joanne. Faith just nodded as a response. She knew that her house would never be back, just like her parents would never return, or her brother. They were all part of the past now, nothing connecting them to the present anymore. But she didn't want to let go of them. They were her only family, her only happy childhood memories. But they were fading fast.

“I'm trying to remember what it looked like. But it's hard now that it's all gone.”

“Not everything is gone dear. Not everything.”

----------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------

Oh boy, has it really been that long since i updated (hits self) Shame on me...shaaaaaaaaaaaame

Notes: Just clarifying some general stuff.

Man who checked the tickets - I have no idea how this guy is called in english...and ticketchecker sounded too weird
Maarten and Nathan: RL peeps i know, though I didn't use their real names duuuuh. They're great dudes and they would act like that to a perfect stranger...if they liked said stranger that is
Care: Word frequently used in my class, usually in a verrrrrrrrrry sarcastic tone...Friendly way to say i don't give a rat's ass
Monty Python: When I first entered Informatics I had absolutely no idea what or who monty python was. By the end of the year I knew all jokes by heart even though I still hadn't seen the movie :p
Bruges: it really looks like that, peeps can't even change their front door to something modern without going through shitloads of paperwork
Chocolate: I swear to god that you can't even turn a corner in Bruges without seeing a chocolate shop, nor go into another country. You should've seen my face when I saw belgian chocolates lying in a shop in sweden. i was like...WTF? The museum of chocolate exists!!! they even give you free chocolate when you enter
Tourists: Helas but true, most of the tourists I meet when shopping with pals do not move. Got a bruise on my shoulder from one particulary rude one. Strangely they only act like that in Bruges, something to do with the ancientness of the place? or maybe too much chocolate :p

Last but not least: Spelling: If you find any strange stuff or mistakes, do tell me(via mail ofc) I usually double check my stuff, but I overlook stuff a lot it seems. I should really get a beta...Anyone interested:p

That was my ranting...Hope you liked the chappie, and very sorry for the extreme lateness of my updating.

Read, Review, Flame...ur choice