Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ Silent Tears ❯ Living or dying? ( Chapter 10 )

Summary/Disclaimer: check the prologue, I don't repeat myself.

“...” speaking

`Italics' thoughts

:: … :: bit beast talking

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Chapter 9... Living or dying?


“NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” a shout was the only thing that broke the silence. Boris looked over the scene, not believing what had happened. “No! It wasn't supposed to be like that! Stupid phoenix, get out of his way!!”

People were running everywhere. Panic was installed. It was all too sudden, too fast, too quick for anyone to truly understand everything that had happened in mere seconds.

Tala's hues glanced around the whole chaotic scene, dread slowly working its way through his bloodstream. His feet were carrying him to the stadium, not that he was noticing, his eyes still watching the unmoving figure on the floor, seemingly so insignificant to everyone else. `No.. Not again…' Unfortunately, he had only realized what was about to happen when it was already too late. When Black Dranzer attacked Iris all of a sudden.

And the rescuer?

Lugiohan intervened. The black phoenix's talons pierced Lugiohan's neck as she stood between him and her Holder. A quiet, sad screech escaped her, the shocked crowd, still in their seats, gasping and crying silently, feeling the phoenix's pain even if they were not connected to her. It seemed like an eternity as silver blood stained the flawless white feathers and the wounded bit beast finally retreated to her beyblade. And only God knew why Iris had fainted, just like that, in the exact same moment as Sarabela.

The black haired girl fell to her knees, her side hitting the floor seconds after. The scratches and ripped clothes were soon forgotten as gashes appeared on the sides of her neck, the blood mixing with the same coloured tips of her hair, making it seem as if she had red highlights instead.

As if in a trance, Kai knelt beside her. He wasn't crying. Such an act - humanity - was beaten out of him a long time ago. Though in the mahogany depths, there was no denying the anger and if one looked closely, worry and regret was in them and even a flicker of fear was seen.

“I should've never let you battle, I should've known better…” his fingers brushed her now wet hair away from her face. Her complexion had paled; the usual healthy glow it had almost gone. The difference between his own skin and hers wasn't big by now. “You're too stupidly stubborn to stop, you just had to win, didn't you?” he wasn't sure if he was whispering to her or if it was just his thoughts. His fear was growing along with the pool of blood at his feet.

His hand gripped her wrist almost painfully, searching in despair for the pulse, strong and steady, which should have been there. He found it, but it was fading, weak and far too fast to be called normal. Instead of the grief and sadness growing, the anger did, his blank expression turning into a narrowing of eyes, hues hardening, “I'm not going to lose you, I'm not! You're everything I have left, I won't let you die.” As carefully as he could, he lifted her in his arms easily, one arm under her knees, the other securing her back, her head tilting back very much unconscious, the wounds there still oozing a steady flow of blood. She would be thought as beautiful, lips parted slightly, silky hair tumbling back and over his arm, but the deadly pallor of her skin and blood put such a thought to the back of anyone's mind.

The remaining BladeBreakers gave way for them to pass, strangely quiet, before following their captain.

Dark onyx eyes looked back at the girl, safe in his previous owner's arms now, the boy who he had first thought was The One, getting farther and farther away. The Praeceptrix(1) was out of his reach for now.

:: No matter. I have waited for years and when I was free for the first time, I had to wait another five long years yet again. I did half of what I intended here. And soon... You will be mine, Iris Blanchett... ::

Chad walked forward, extending his arm, the blade returning to him. Glaring ominously at the teens across the facility, their back to him, he paused. Then, glanced at the black top in his hand. The chip twinkled a faint dark light up to him, reflecting off his own dark eyes.

“Get rid of it…” the small whisper made him blink once and look around.

Kyo and Kyu stood in front of him, Sarabela in between them, her arms across their shoulders so that they supported her. She was paler, if that was even possible, her lips adopting a bluish colour, cold sweat making her hair stick to her forehead. But the odd glint in her eyes, the slightly darker look, the out of place adultery in her was finally gone, her innocence having returned. Her eyes were back to the same pale lavender tinge of hers, “Let it go, it can't be trusted.”

The older teen looked down at the chip in his palm, a glow coming from it again, almost as if a warning of what would come if he indeed let it there. His eyes closed.

The beyblade landed with quick, quiet metallic sounds onto the dish, an odd dark glow involving it. Although, without the bit chip.

A similar pair of pale lavender eyes followed the retreating team, set on the girl's back. Bryan sighed quietly. `I'm sorry, sister. But now, you must learn the rest of your lesson all the way. Just as I did.' Glancing around him one last time, he followed the trail of blood on the floor. After he ha picked up the black fallen top.

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“Tala, w'at `app'ned back the'?” Rosemary appeared at the Russian's side, looking at him. Her eyes were wide with worry and maybe, even a bit of fear. They were all outside the small infirmary the building offered, having been there ever since Kai entered with Iris in his arms.

“That's what we all want to know. But...” the redhead lowered his eyes, voice quiet. Their usual sharpness had faded a bit, clouded by something akin to concern, “I'm not sure if she'll make it. She did lose a lot of blood.”

“What?! No way!” Tyson shouted, a bit down the corridor, but neither the two older teens listened to him.

“Ah'm suwr' she'll make it. She's tough enoug'...” Rosemary's tone was obviously to try to comfort the red-haired teen. Still, not even she was sure of her own words. `It's all up to `er now... We cahn't do much mor'...'

As for Kai, he had only stopped to open the door, closing it in Tyson's face. Inside, there were some people already, many hurt from the hurry to get out of the main dome. One of the doctors came over to him, looking immediately at Iris in his arms. Noticing the blood, the young man pointed to the nearest bed, “Lay her there, careful.” He sighed, obviously tired, checking for the weak pulse on the girl's bloodied neck, “My name is Michael. How did this happen?”

“I'm not sure and right now, I believe that's irrelevant.” Kai's voice was calm, though the doctor did detect the fury behind it. His eyes were lit with silent anger, barely held at bay.

But at least from the outside, Michael didn't seem intimidated, “Too true.” His soft brown eyes looked back at the fallen teen, “She'll need a blood transfusion and, if she can make it through the next few hours, much rest.” Taking the plastered hair out of the way, his face palled as he saw the real damage. Talking in a different language, probably Portuguese, he turned to a couple of other doctors, as they separated to do whatever Michael had asked. He turned to Kai once more, “Please, wait outside. We'll take care of this from now on.”

The boy bared his teeth, arms crossed over his chest. His eyes looked over at Iris, whose breathing was starting to slow down, “I'll stay with her. She'd want that.”

“I'm sorry, I can't let you.” He shook his head, “Intensive care. Not for your eyes.” Seeing the youth open his mouth to retort, the elder raised a hand, “I can see you care a great deal for her, but I just can't let you stay here. Please. Outside. You'll be the first to know if something happens.”

Still glaring, the Russian walked away, fisted hands in his pockets, teeth biting his lip. After seeing as Iris was carried to another room, no longer in sight, he turned around, and out of the facility.

Tala raised his head immediately as the door opened quietly to let the dual-haired teen exit the room, “How is she?”

Kai only shrugged, “They didn't really say much.” His eyes hardened, “Just that she lost a lot of blood.”

Ian muttered under his breath, “Great, just great! Now what? We pray?”

“Ian, there's nothing you or any of us can do, really. Whether you like it or not.” Bryan leaned against a wall, “I'm not comfortable with the situation either.” He put Black Dranzer's top on Kai's hand, “Here. You're its most indicated owner.”

Slowly, the boy in question took the dark top, frowning deeply. He passed the blade to Chief, who, startled to suddenly have such a powerful beyblade in hands almost dropped it, “You can check if it's built of something else other than metal, Kenny. Maybe it can help our training, who knows.”

“Ok, back to the matter at hand, please.” The short purple haired boy glared at Bryan, whom he thought was responsible, “We should be there, giving her our support. She would've wanted it that way. To let her know she's not alone in this! She did that to all of us.” His eyes locked with his captain's, “Especially to you. And you know it. Every time you dropped unconscious and we brought you back, she was the one there beside you, holding your hand and muttering under her breath until you finally answered her. Shouldn't you do the same for her?”

The turquoise eyes narrowed, “I know she did. But even Hiwatari's here; what do you want us to do? Let it rip and enter? Whatever the guys are doing there, it's for her sake. Do you want to go inside and make a racket?”

The other subdued somewhat, opting to sit down instead. The redhead though pulled away from the wall, passing by Tyson and retrieving Lugiohan, feeling the phoenix's presence somewhere at the back of his mind, “She won't die.” Most people stiffened at the mention of such a verb. The captain went on, ignoring the intense glare coming from Kai, “And even if she does, she wouldn't want us to act this way, or would she?”

“Shut up, Ivanov.” Turning on his heels, Kai walked away from them, heading for the exit.

As the World Champion was about to follow him, Spencer's arm shot out, stopping him, “If you want to keep all your bones in one piece, stay here and leave him be.”

The mild air that hit his face outside felt rather good, helping to calm down his inner turmoil. The boy walked over to a tree, leaning against it, then sliding down to the ground, his eyes drifting close. As he did, the image of her at the bey-dish, silently falling to her knees and the wounds appearing at her neck entered his mind, making him shudder.

He had let it all happen, not doing anything. `How could I be stupid to the point of trusting that she wouldn't do such a foolish thing?' His crimson hues opened again. Something rolled down his cheek, almost startling him.

Reaching up, he wiped it away quickly. One single tear had fallen, after a long, long time.

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Tala looked over at his companion from the exit of the building. He found himself in a dilemma. If he stepped forward and said something to the two-toned haired boy, he would probably be risking his well being and Kai's complete recoil. If he didn't, Kai may do something everyone would regret later on. Sighing, he walked over to the other teen, leaning on the tree, one foot pulled up. Still, he decided to keep silent, hoping the other would speak up first. It would be a good sign if he did.

“What are you doing here, Wolf?” said beyblader's features softened somewhat. There was the good sign. And at least, his voice was even. Either he had bottled it all up, or he was now calmer.

“Last time I checked, this was a public place.”

“Don't answer a question with a question, Ivanov.” He could notice a slight smile on his voice, making him smile back. `Good. At least there's sarcasm.'

“You look like you need a bit of company. Before you start thrashing everything around, da?”

A huff, “As if. Sounds like you're pretty used to me doing that.”

“Well, no, but who knows?”

“You're avoiding the subject, Yuriy.”

Tala rolled his eyes, stopping from trying to lift the mood, “Put yourself together, Hiwatari. Iris will not die.” Their eyes locked, and, in turquoise orbs, there seemed to be no doubt of his words, “Not until she gives Boris what he deserves. Then, she may die in peace. But not yet.”

The other lifted an eyebrow at his tone, but did pull back from the tree, starting to walk back. Knowing Iris's personality, what he said was true.

Though life may not always be fair. Actually, it barely ever is.

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Two hours latter, the door opened, revealing Michael. Every head turned immediately to him, Tala getting up half way from sitting next to Rosemary.

The doctor gave them a small smile, “She's holding out. At least, for now.” His eyes grew serious, “Though she's not stable. She might have another break-down and if that's the case, I very much doubt she'll recover.”

“How is she, really?”

“Well, alive, but in a coma. In between her dreams and consciousness. According to her mental activity, she's trying to wake up, but for now, she cannot.”

“And there's nothing we can do to help her, right.” Ian muttered, voicing most teen's thoughts.

Michael only shrugged, “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid not. All we can do now... is wait.” He seemed to ponder something thoughtfully, “Though if it makes you feel better, you can come inside see her. You may speak quietly among yourselves, but any louder and I'll be forced to send you away. Everyone who's inside needs rest, peace and quiet and your friend isn't an exception.”

They all nodded, before following him inside, walking through some doors, until he stopped in front of one and opened it. They entered.

In the room, completely covered in white blankets, was Iris, pale and unmoving. The normal four black triangles were gone from her cheeks, her neck bandaged. Her black and red mane contrasted heavily with the extreme whiteness of the room, becoming the only colour in it. Outside, despite being summer, as if suiting the mood they all felt, the sky started to get cloudy, dark grey clouds gathering. The thick rain started to fall, each time heavier.

“Remember, quiet. For a few minutes, you can all stay here, but then, only one of you can, alright?” The older man exited the room, not waiting for an answer, leaving them alone for the time being.

Ian sat heavily on a chair, giving a glance at everyone, “Now what?”

“Well, you wanted to be here with her, didn't you?” Tala sat beside Iris, brushing away some bangs away from her sweaty forehead. A smirk curved his lips lightly, “But really, isn't it obvious?”

Tyson blinked at that, scratching the back of his head, “Err, not really...”

Kai opened his eyes from leaning against the opposite wall to the bed. He also smirked, a knowing glint in his crimson hues, “We follow them. It shouldn't be hard.” He exchanged a look with Wolborg's Holder.

“What!” Tyson fell out of the chair he was sitting on, “Are you crazy? They almost killed her!! And they sure didn't look like they'd mind doing that to anyone else!”

“That's the main reason.” Tala shrugged casually, crossing his arms. His eyes narrowed dangerously, “No one, and I do mean no one hurts Iris and gets away with it. She'd do the same for us.”

“No, Tala.” Rosemary spoke up, shaking her head. If this was going in the direction she feared, someone had to stop them from accomplishing it. And if it had to be her, she was quite influential, if she ever needed to. `It's too dangerous fo' t'em tah go on their ahwn jus' lik' t'at.' She palled as Tala's eyes narrowed to mere slits, a snarl on his lips, “Be reas'nable, Yuriy. Ya cahn't jus' barge in the'!”

“We can, we must and we will.” Kai continued, looking at the fallen blader, “Enough is enough. They tortured us far too much for us to let them go like that and putting Iris in a coma was the last straw. And besides...” his head leaned down, covering his eyes from view. His smirk grew to a wicked grin, “I want to see Boris and Voltaire's faces as I destroy the Abbey once and for all. Revenge will be sweet.” While the ones who had experienced the horrors of the Abbey smirked among themselves darkly at his words, locking mischievous stares, the other teams looked at them like they had gone mad.

“Look, you may want revenge, I think we all understand that. But you can't just go there, enter the building and ta-dah! Hey, we're going to destroy the place, yay!... it's not like that, alright?” Johnny voiced everyone's thoughts, “We need a plan. Their security is good, you should know that better than we do, and they're sneaky. We-”

“McGregor...” Bryan lifted his head, his icy stare sweeping through them all, “Shut up. You can't understand, unless you were there as well. If you don't like it, don't hear it. This is amongst us; we know what we're doing.”

When Johnny was about to reply to go on with the argument, the door opened. Michael entered, “Come on. Only one of you.”

They all slowly left the room, leaving only Tala and Kai in the end. They locked stares for a brief moment, nodding at the same time in mutual understanding. Tala left swiftly, giving him a last look that clearly said “Watch it or else…”, before the doctor closed the door.

Once alone, the bluenette sat on the edge of the bed, placing his hand over hers, his thumb brushing the back of her hand. Her skin was cold, he noted. Glancing up at the bedside table, he saw Lugiohan, her bit shining gently in the room. As he was about to place her on Iris's hand, the other phoenix's voice was heard in his mind.

:: Master Kai. There is something you need to know. ::

Kai frowned lightly. Her tone, somehow, didn't sound… right. `What is it, Lugiohan?'

:: Her situation. I'm afraid my Mistress will not wake up soon. If at all. :: At those words, his blood ran cold, everything else ceased to exist, except their hands lightly touching. :: She is lost within her own dreams, Master, haunted, plagued, by her past. She needs to find peace with her soul. Whatever Black Dranzer did to her, brought back her memories, her inner demons, which she still has to confront, the same ones she has been feeding, with her suppressed emotions, and ignoring them, without her knowing. ::

`Isn't there anything we can do?'

Pause.

:: It is…. Risky. But Lord Dranzer and I will help you, if you choose this path. But remember, youngling. You fail, you die and she probably won't recover from the coma. :: Another pause. Just as he was about to ask her what he could do, it was Dranzer who spoke up.

:: We must warn you this might be very, very dangerous for both of you, child. We will allow your presence to be in her mind, through the mental connection Iris shares. Do not touch a thing, but her, for it might make a difference. ::

Absently, he nodded.

Lugiohan spoke up again, :: Bring her to reason, make her listen, but keep her under control. She is in her own mind, she can do whatever she wants, youngling. Even kill you. ::

The boy closed his eyes gently, bringing Iris's hands to his lips, brushing them over her knuckles, `I'll risk it.'

Both phoenixes were quiet once more.

:: Please, child. Don't let her fall into Darkness. Not again. ::

He took out Dranzer, placing him beside the black top, which rested on top of its owner's chest. The bit chips of both beyblade's glowed in reply at the same time. It was everything he remembered before blackness took over.

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When he managed to open his eyes again, Kai looked around warily. All he could see was a thick grey fog. He couldn't even say if he was walking in firm ground or not. Probably not. `Not touch anything? There isn't anything to start with.'

The smallest sound caught his attention after trying to listen to something, anything, in the void. Leaning forward instinctively, he listened more closely, letting his senses lead him. There it was again. A sob. Several soft sobs. Crying. Someone was crying, not too far away from him.

The sounds became louder, clearer, as he walked on. He opened his eyes, not even noticing he had had them closed. The fog was gone. But instead, right in front of him, there was a tall, dark, enormous wall. Everything there was dark and gloomy, remembering the usual silence of a graveyard. On the supposed floor, leaning against said wall, he saw a crumpled figure, not too different from the first time he saw her back in Japan, covered in a cloak and shivering from all the rain pouring down on her.

Iris was laying down on her side, one arm stretched out, her head on it, pitch black hair covering her face. It almost looked like someone had picked her up and threw her down again and she didn't even try to move from the position. In her sobbing, now far clearer, he could sense fear. Helplessness. Hatred. Abandon.

Sounds of who had lost their hope long ago, of who resignedly opened their arms to accept death and ignorance from all from then on.

Odd.

But then again, so was she. She was a strange one, Iris. Emotionless on the outside, but she wore her heart in her sleeve. Never let a weakness like crying be heard, her tears were always silent; but here she was, sobbing. A horrible past behind her, but always ready to make someone happy, even if she wasn't; he could see that in her eyes, clear as day.

“Iris?” at the sound of his voice, barely more than a whisper, she looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy, contrasting with the usual sharpness of the silvery blue hues heavily, her tears still falling, following the rivers down her reddened cheeks and bloodied lips, possibly from her biting them. Although, a gleam of hope shone in those mystic silver eyes.

“K-Kai? That you?” she should be crying for a long time now, for her voice was hoarse. “What are you doing here? How-?”

“Never mind that.” he knelt in front of her, only wanting to hold her, but knowing he should not; she had to be the one making the first move, “You're in a coma, Iris. You need to get out of here, to snap out of it.” But she would surprise him yet again.

“No.”

For a moment, he seemed not to know what to say to that. His eyes searched hers. What he saw in them made him doubt if this was the same Iris he knew. The normal bright silver orbs, lit with energy, sarcasm, revenge and even a bit of bossiness and disguised pain and hurt were now dull, hollow. Lifeless. It was as if all the lights were on, but no one was home. “What do you mean?”

“I'm sorry. It's not that simple.” Slowly, she sat up, arms around herself. Her shoulders heaved in a deep sigh. Her eyes fell from his, looking at the wall in a mixture of fear, sorrow and regret.

The boy followed her stare, still not understanding her. When he spoke, his voice was so low she found herself leaning in to listen properly, “What's stopping you?”

“This... this wall... My emotional wall, so to speak, that emotional part that exists in all of us. The emotional barrier that protects me from the outer world. Everything here is dark, morbid and quiet.” A soft sigh. Resignation. “Just like me. All my emotions are kept and suppressed here. Only anger and hatred can shine through, can be shown. And... If it's not destroyed, I...” a pause, in which she continued in a very soft murmur, “I can never get out of here, I suppose... Nor love you... Not by heart, soul and mind at least. This part stops me from managing it thoroughly. It has to be destroyed.” Seeing he was about to snap at her, she quickly clarified, “I want to do it, Kai, believe me, I do, but... I'm not brave enough. I… can't…”

He looked at her, uncharacteristically wide eyed. The exact same thing happened with him. However, he did admit, even if it was only to himself, that he had changed. If only a bit. Ever since meeting the BladeBreakers, especially Tyson. They all contributed for something to change within him, and he appreciated that. And then, when he met her.

But never had he thought that it could become such a problem. Like the one she was voicing right now. He wasn't aware how he would react if he was in her place, no. Maybe he'd do the same. But, for her, wouldn't he, at least, try? Kai got up from his kneeling position, “How can you say that...” her light eyes looked up into his dark ones again, “You're thinking just like them.” He didn't need to specify who were the ones that ruined both their lives, “Why can't you destroy this? Is that really your reason? `I'm not brave enough'?” he walked closer to her menacingly, eyes ablaze with anger and slight hurt, his voice a deathly quiet whisper “Am I not reason enough for you? I'd do the same for you. Hence, I did the same for you, even if you didn't notice it.” The boy pulled back a bit, taking a few breaths to calm himself, “My own situation isn't as simple as you might think either. To ignore everything that was taught to me, to be with you. You weren't the only one with a hard past, Iris…”

“Don't you understand? I can't just destroy this!” Iris scrambled to her feet, “This is what stops me from being broken! This is my world!” her arms spread. Soon, both phoenixes' words became clearer when they told him she could pretty much do whatever she liked here.

From her back, black wings sprouted, ominous and gloomy. Her once bright silver eyes turned dark, cold, steel grey. Her lips twisted in a snarl, “I live in this wretched place ever since my sister died. When I was left alone, away from my family, kidnapped by Boris and thrown into the Abbey, not even knowing the least bit of Russian to begin with. Always alone, made fun of by everyone until I finally met Tala. Half a year later. My scars were too deep by then. Ever since I was six, love, I endured torture beyond your worst imagination.” The snarl turned into an unpleasant grin, “Do your math. It's been seven years. It's too damn long to give up on something just like that. It's my protection, my barrier.” Lightening appeared out of no where.

From Kai's mouth, puffs of condensed air came out. Cold. Ice cold. So cold… Still, he bit his lip. `Let her finish. Just a bit longer. She's too angered to listen to reason at this stage.'

“This is where I belong! Here, away from everything, from everyone. Away from pain, misery and rapists. Away from Boris. I'm free.” It was then that he noticed. Her irises… Not the grey they had just turned into just then. Black. Just like… Black Dranzer's.

Holding her shoulders tightly, he pulled her close, so close that all that they could see was each other's eyes. Her fury, what she could do to him, he ignored it all. He had to make her listen to him, he had to. “Iris, this is not you. Listen to me carefully. Black Dranzer… He's making you think like this. You have to fight him off.” As she was about to start speaking again, he did one of the few things that could make her shut up efficiently. And one of the few most unexpected things to do in such a situation. Kai kissed her, roughly and briefly.

“He's trying to control you through your mind. Through hatred, anger, self-pity.” the realization hit him then like a ton of bricks, “And that's why he didn't try to follow you after you fainted and I took you away. Whatever he wanted to do was already done.”

For a moment, her eyes changed from black, to silver, and back again, “Black Dranzer?”

The hope that had been slowly leaving him came back at full force, “Fight it. Fight him. If you want to get through this, do it, you have to! Please.” He shook her shoulders for emphasis, “Do it, Iris. Fight him off. For you. For me. For us…”

Iris looked at him confusingly. Her eyes changed again briefly, “But… I don't feel him in my mind.” She paused, “On second thought, I don't even feel Lugiohan…” at that, she gasped. Slowly, her eyes changed again, permanently, “Lugiohan! What happened to her?” she tried, in vain, to find the familiar warm presence of her bit beast. No such luck. It was like she had lost her. For good.

“Iris, look at me.” his voice had a hint of urgency as one hand gently turned her chin to lock his eyes with hers. “It's him. He's the one responsible. Black Dranzer is in your mind, somewhere, and he must've severed Lugiohan's bond with you. That's the reason, that's why you can't feel her. You need to find him and fight him off. I can't help you, only you can, and I'm sorry, but you have to. I know you can.” Ever so briefly, he paused, “I love you too much to lose you now.”

Silver eyes widened to their maximum. His words seemed to have hit a nerve, something, inside of her. Her eyes closed as she searched, trying to find that dark feeling. One that she recognized easily, but still didn't know it yet. To her astonishment, there it was, almost imperceptible. Trying as much as she could, it seemed it was working. But very, very slowly. Too slowly. Before she would be able to finish, she wouldn't have enough energy to do it completely.

“I can't do it…” she whispered under her breath, “Not alone!” she did the only think she could think of. Contact was needed, and for that, she kissed him, crushing her lips to his in a bruising manner.

Long minutes passed, several times, it was needed to part the heated kiss, only to restart it again. Kai didn't know what to expect of this, not really. How to act. Only that she needed the contact as much as she needed to breathe. He felt, more than once, the salty taste of her tears, the harsh grip of her hand on his hair. But he didn't pull away. Suddenly, Iris parted the kiss, her eyes shut tightly, teeth barred in a somewhat painful way. Some moments after, an intense wave of relief washed over her features and through her whole being as she sighed. Opening her eyes again, they were their usual silvery light blue tinge he had grown fond of, their sparkle returned. The wings were gone as well.

Finally focusing on Kai, the girl, not back to being herself, could point out the worry in his hues, the hope, the fear, “Kai?”

Her voice pulled him out of the dreading suspense. He let out the breath he wasn't aware he had been holding. Leaning forward, he let his chin rest on her shoulder gently. “I thought I'd lost you back then.”

Somewhat awkwardly, still not sure about what had happened, her arms wrapped around him in a loose hug, “It's alright. I'm right here. Everything's fine. Sorry for worrying you.” Slowly, it was coming back in fragments, but she now knew… sort of. “And thank you for helping me. I would never manage to do it alone.” Her lips brushed against his temple.

Unknown to them, the dark wall started to crumble and break down, beams of light coming from everywhere. When their eyes finally opened, at the exact same time, everything was blurry and different. They seemed to be back. There was distance between them, though they were too tired to fight it. A dreamless sleep overcame them as they sighed deeply in unison.

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The two of them were placed side by side, in two different beds. No one knew what had really happened. All that Tala knew after he entered the room again after being far too silent was that Kai seemed to have fallen asleep, on of Iris's hands tightly clasped on his own. That, or he had fainted. But that wasn't very Kai-like to do.

Still, all of a sudden, Iris seemed to be breathing a lot easier, not to mention that her state returned to the one of a normally knocked out person.

Only in the third day's early sunny morning did they wake up, both at the same time. Before they knew it, both beds were surrounded by everyone, most of them (mainly Tyson) shooting questions at the same time.

“Shut up, Tyson! You're giving me a headache already!” Iris picked up her pillow, throwing it at the navy-haired boy, who was knocked over by it. Then, picking up the blankets, she pulled them over her head and turned her back on them.

Tala grinned lightly as everyone else laughed, ruffling her hair through the covers, earning him a muffled complain, “She's back alright.” The whole-hearted laughs were foreign, the happy sounds kind of odd in these last few stressful days, but, nevertheless, a complete happiness and relief for them all.

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“Do we even have a plan, by the way?”

Kai looked up from packing. They were leaving back to Japan, but first, they would pay a visit to Moscow, which was why Iris was packing as well. Otherwise, she would stay in her home country. Or so he supposed she would. And, due to that small detour, the dual haired teen couldn't help but feel relief, `Some more time together.'

The rest of the team was in the other part of the small apartment, each in their own rooms, also packing, therefore they were alone. And gladly too. “It's unpredictable, and you know it. No good plan will help us. You've been there before, haven't you? And I'm sure their security must be better, after six of their students escaped.”

Even in the situation, the girl found herself snickering softly at that. “Hu huh, what a shame for them... But...” her face saddened a bit, her voice lowering to a soft whisper, “Then what?”

The boy sat down on the bed beside hers, looking at Iris in confusion, “Then? What do you mean?”

She sighed in exasperation, “After all this is over. Then, what will happen? About you, me?” her eyes turned to the ground, “About us...”

Even though he had suspected it, the news hit him by surprise. His head lowered, eyes out of sight by his bangs, “So you're not coming with us.” More like a statement than a question, really.

“Kai…” she half closed her suitcase, walking over to him. She knelt sideways, arms hugging one of his legs, chin on his knee, “I've been wanting to get out of Russia years ago... for obvious reasons. I wanted to come here, back to my house, back to my-” she interrupted herself briefly, “I didn't have time to go around the place yet, but I do have friends here, very good friends I don't see for almost ten years. This is the place I can call mine. My home.”

He didn't have an answer for that. He couldn't deny that; after all, she was right. Although, one thought couldn't help but resurface to his mind. `I've got too used to her presence to think of living without her from now on.' She sighed and got up when he opted for silence and looking away instead of replying.

Making her way over to the window, she sat on the windowsill, looking over at the bright sunset, sending beautiful colours into the sky and the water of the river, deep violets, rich oranges and bright, vivid reds. The silence dragged on and was becoming uncomfortable. “Sorry. I didn't mean to upset you with that thought.”

The boy walked up to her, stopping just behind her, “You didn't. The question remains though. What then?”

Iris turned her head to look at him, placing one hand over his cheek and jaw line, her thumb grazing his lower lip. She leaned forward, murmuring against his lips, “I don't want to lose what we have together, Kai... All I want is for you to promise me that... that this isn't something to waste and forget...” in her eyes, there was a pleading look, a sparkle of hope that all her life had been turned down over and over again. He didn't need to even think about his answer.

“If it wasn't, I wouldn't be here.” Ever so discreetly, he lifted an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side.

Her eyes closed, as she tried her best not to laugh. Sometimes, he was just like Wolf when it came to smart-assed replies. `He'll never change.' Although, what he said was nothing more than the pure truth.

One of his hands rested over her knee lightly, making her reopen her eyes again, “I can't even think of forgetting you, Iris.” She found herself smiling as his lips brushed over hers, barely touching, only to come back more forcefully, but still gently. She kissed him back, arms going around his neck, pulling him as close to her as she could.

In a quick motion, his hands were at the back of her knees, pulling her up from the windowsill and the now dimmed glass due to their body heat. At the loss of balance and sudden change of position, she broke the kiss, surprised.

The boy merely smirked in return while holding her close. Walking over to one of the two beds, he lowered her gently on the soft mattress. Her eyebrow rose, but she made no attempt to stop him. Maybe in her light hues was even a bit of amusement? Or maybe it was just the dim light. Leaning in, he pecked her lips briefly, then her chin. Trailing kisses down her neck, he felt her hands fist his hair, just a fraction below painfully. Her wounds were still there, but luckily, after almost a week, were now almost completely healed and not bandaged any longer.

Reaching her pulse, he sucked at the spot till a reddish mark appeared on the fine skin there, while hearing and feeling her breathing getting quicker under his ministrations. Lifting his head, he noticed she was watching him carefully, even if her eyes were only half-lidded. But no refusal in them. Only trust. And one more thing. One he couldn't identify very well, one that had never been directed towards him before. Kai was brought back from his thoughts by the tugging at his shirt. He quickly discarded it, sitting up, careful as not to put his weight on her.

And as he did it, so did she, along with the black bra she had on from their previous training. Lying back on the bed, she took a deep breath, willing herself to relax. Iris did felt a hint of unease; after all, the only person that had seen her like that had been-

But as their gazes locked, she already knew. That fear nagging at the back of her mind slowly, but surely, calmed down. She trusted him. And he trusted her.

Kai studied her expressions closely, watching the various emotions come across her features. First doubt, then fearful resignation, now a calm that he hoped was real and not just to show him she was ok with this when she wasn't. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, and both of them knew he could. Yet, she made no move to stop this. He could almost feel all the pain she had gone through in that single position, over and over again.

The girl in question seemed to realize his hesitation, or maybe it was for the simple reason he took too long to go on. Much to his relief, she smiled reassuringly at him, eyes glinting with the last few rays of the sun, “I'm not going to stop you, you know. I want this.”

That sentence lifted most of the weight off his shoulders. But not all of it, “But-”

A finger was placed upon his lips. She shook her head silently, sitting up and changing their positions, when he allowed her to, “You won't hurt me, Phoenix. I know you won't or ever will. You'll never give me pain; you take it all away...” she licked the sensitive spot just below his earlobe, listening to his appreciative low growl at both that sensation and their bare torsos touching. Kissing his Adam's apple, she dragged her lips over his pale skin by undoing the knot on his silky scarf, stopping at the joint between the shoulder and neck. She first licked and then let her sharp canines sink into his soft flesh.

He wasn't expecting it. A pained hiss sounded, ending up in a very soft groan, as she lapped at the pouring blood, easing the stinging feeling away. She stopped after some moments, kissing his lips again, the taste of his blood still on hers. Kai took that chance and quickly flipped them over again, smirking down at her, “I started this; I'll finish it.”

Her amused chuckle ended in a quiet, throaty moan, as he took one nipple between his lips and sucked gently. Biting down lightly on the small nub, his fingers were playing with its twin, always listening to her in case he was hurting her in someway or if she made some kind of uncomfortable movement.

But far from it. As she sighed, her eyes closed on their own accord, a very soft, absent smile upon her bow-shaped lips. Her fingers tangled in his hair again, twirling the strands between them, sometimes pulling gently, as an unfamiliar heat inside of her heightened more and more.

Kai lifted his head after a rather painful tug at his hair, looking up at her. She didn't look scared, didn't seem to want him to stop; her smile only grew slightly as they locked eyes. Although, he didn't want to pressure her, he wasn't sure. Kissing her pulse and lips one last time, he started to pull back from her.

A tight grip on his scarf made him pause though. How she had put it back around his neck suddenly, that, he was wondering, even if it was only wrapped about his shoulders. But before he could say anything, he was pulled down again, this time for forcefully, their lips meeting not so gently. “Just what do you think you're doing, pulling away like that, Kai Hiwatari?” the tone of her voice was husky and held slight authority, which made him look into her eyes immediately in question.

Her eyelashes had dropped even more, the silvery blue almost changed to a sapphire tinge, clouded by desire and something else; but, by the lack of light, practically all he could see were the deep black pools of her pupils as they dilated, oddly dark for someone whom had such light eyes. She clarified her question, a small amused smile playing on her lips, “Why did you pull back when I want you this much?”

As soon as they widened slightly, his eyes almost closed again, the hues darkening at her whispered sentence. He leaned in, capturing her lips in his own in an almost mournful kiss.

The small smile never left her face even after he pulled back. Still, she noticed the slight hesitation in his eyes. Despite it being unnecessary, she was thankful for his consideration and that showed in the glinting of her eyes, “Do it. I'm not afraid. Not if I am with you, Phoenix... My Phoenix.”

Never looking away from her eyes in case she considered she wasn't ready yet in any way, the rest of their clothing was quickly removed. Still a bit cautious, and he didn't blame her for it, her legs parted for him on her own free will. To calm her, and as an after thought as well, his fingertips ran along her knee and thigh in a feather-light touch, making a delighted shiver run along her spine. Their lips met passionately, one of his hands holding hers, fingers intertwined, as he felt her free hand tighten its hold on his hair. With no warning, he entered her.

Iris sucked in her breath underneath him. He had surprised her and she had almost bitten down on his tongue due to her surprise. Her body tensed immediately on instinct due to the unexpected move. The boy must have noticed so, since he stopped, parting the kiss slowly.

She turned away from him, memories crashing down on her heavily, making her eyes close tight. Her breathing quickened and she wondered if she was hyperventilating or not. Images of being violated in such a degrading way, a few of them which she unconsciously managed to suppress came back full force, making her awfully dizzy. Not even noticing, a few tears fell down her cheeks, as silent as her memories passing through her mind's eye.

A hand squeezing hers and the gentle, soft touch at her cheek startled her, but also made her forget about that at the same time. All the pain, with only those two gestures, vanished. Gingerly, almost afraid, her eyes opened.

Kai was looking down at her, a sight relief on his expression that she had, at least, locked eyes with him. In his darkened eyes, she could partially see the guilt of what he considered was his fault.

She felt like kicking herself, and she did, mentally. How could she even think of fearing him? Fearing her Phoenix? It was only her memories, the pain of remembering, her own inner demons. His lips parted, possibly to utter some kind of apology, but she placed a finger upon them, whispering back, “Don't speak.” The hand still tangled in his hair pulled him down so that their lips met once more. Her next words were even softer, “Don't stop.”

Still not completely trusting her decision, but admitting she had relaxed, Kai started to move, slowly at first.

The thoughts of before threatened to come back, but this time, Iris fought them back. `I'm not there. I'm not with him. I'm safe. Kai would never hurt me.' As if to make her point across, her lips sought his for a bruising kiss.

Then, a new feeling almost overcame her as she let her body relax further, no other sound in the room other than their slightly faster breathing and the beating of her heart. It started at her abdomen, like a low but steady fire, its heat quickly spreading to every cell of her body. Unconsciously, she moaned against his lips as he withdrew and thrust into her again, the pace increasing.

The kiss parted, their breathing getting heavier, sweat glinting over skin. The moans and growls became louder and more regular. And they felt it, right at the same time.

Throwing her head back and biting down on her lower lip as to keep quiet (after all, Tyson and the others were still around the place), her climax hit her hard. Her back arched, her hips rising one last time, a low groan was what she couldn't stop from tumbling through her lips. She didn't hear, she didn't see, there was only feeling, that consuming feeling. She didn't notice how her fingernails made five, not deep, but enough to leave a mark, scratches on his back, how her other hand fisted the mattress tightly as if her life depended on it. For now, she didn't care, as pleasure took over. Thoughts of the Abbey, what was yet to come tomorrow, of Boris, Black Dranzer, it all disappeared for a few, short, blissful seconds.

As soon as he felt the heat exploding in him, Kai bit down on the same spot she had bitten him. It was instinctive; and the reason he gave himself afterwards was that he simply did it to muffle his own groans.

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Ray paused on his way to the living room, a bowl brimming with popcorns in one hand. Slowly, his head turned to look at the door of the room he was just beside of.

That was odd. Had he imagined it? No, there it was again. Though not the same voice.

His light amber eyes widened, his ebony eyebrows shooting up. His lips formed an “o”, before a wide mischievous grin curved them. “Hehe… Not to worry. Both your reputations are safe with me.” He entered the room where the younger bladers were watching a scary movie with Kenny typing furiously and trying to ignore it.

Tyson brightened at seeing the popcorns, “Snacks!!! Thanks, Ray!” the World Champion winked, taking a bunch. Soon, he frowned lightly, “What's with the goofy grin?”

The White Tiger simple chuckled at that, the grin widening further, “When you're older, I'll tell you.”

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After the few seconds of paradise he just experienced, he laid down beside her heavily, lips partially open to let in more oxygen than usual. Absently pulling the covers over them, Kai pulled her close to him, his hand over her right hip in a possessive gesture.

Iris took the chance to snuggle into him, sighing, still trying to put her slightly calmer breathing under control. Her eyes opened half way, now of a lighter shade, glancing at him. Reaching out a hand, she brushed away the few locks of slate hair that stuck to his forehead gently. His own eyes opened then, looking at her in a somewhat satisfied way. Too tired to lift his voice, he merely whispered, “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head no, a small mysterious smile on her lips. She was healed. He had helped her heal, gone through it with her and still, he was there. Beside her, never to leave her again. He both respected and admired her and that was enough to make her eyes glint, “No. I told you, you wouldn't.” a brief peck to his lips, “Didn't I?”

Kai nodded slowly. “But something happened to you back then… didn't it?”

Her pearl white front teeth caught her lower lip as her eyes looked away from his for a brief moment, “I… remembered certain things. Things I had thought were forgotten.”

Not knowing if it would help her or not, still he said the following words, “They never truly do, no matter what you tell yourself. Nothing is ever really forgotten ” A comprehensive note was on his tone and she appreciated that. Lightly, she smiled.

“Do we have to get up?”

Her captain grinned ever so lightly, “We leave in five hours. There's still plenty of time.” with that said, he closed his eyes, pulling her closer.

Her smile broadened, “Good.” Sighing softly, she allowed herself to sleep, soon followed by him.

A feeling of peace washed over them in the three hours they slept. It would be one of the few moments like that that they would feel in the next few days.

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“What are you doing here.”

The Scottish girl stopped in her tracks at that. His tone wasn't cold, but it wasn't friendly either. Tala was leaning on the railings of the building's terrace, on the roof. The cold air of the evening was gentle, making both his and her hair tousle slightly, the air still partially warm from the sun that had set not long ago, “Ahre ya sur'h ya guys wanna do t'is? Goin' tah t'e Abbey jus' like t'at, Ah mean...” she stood beside the red-head, not looking at him. In a couple of hours, they would go to the airport, each team to their own plane. And this wasn't the good-bye she was expecting... “Ya'll be in dange', Yuriy... An' sum of ya may not retu'n. Ya all kno' t'at bettah t'an anyon' else.”

“I suppose we do.” His tone was thoughtful, as if he wasn't really paying attention to her. Though that was only what his exterior showed her; he was well aware of her and her statements. The redhead still didn't turn to look at her, not just yet. He knew by her tone that she didn't agree with this. But she didn't know about the things he went through, no. About what Iris went through. About what all of them had went through. If she knew, she wouldn't be saying this. `She can't understand. And really, I don't blame her for that. Still, she shouldn't be telling me what to do. We all need to do something about it, not just me. They could've killed us with the trainings. I could be dead as well. His little experience could have killed Iris too.' Unnoticed, turquoise flashed icy blue for a brief moment, `And that was the last straw.'

“I don't wanna lose you...” she went on even if he hadn't elaborated, for the first time, speaking without her usual accent, as worried as she was. That emotion in her voice was perfectly clear, as it was in her eyes, brimming in the dim light.

The Russian finally turned his head to look at her. A pang of guilt was felt as he saw the crystalline tears shining in her lavender hues. His hand reached up to brush them away, but she took a step back, shaking her head. That made her tears roll down her cheeks and chin, falling to the floor right after, a few on his still outstretched hand. “I'm sure you want revenge. I'm sure I would too, if I was in your place.” She shook her head again, “But not like this! Please, think about it, Yuriy... This is not the way. Violence only brings more violence.” she turned around and walked away, not standing to look at him any longer; only his eyes flashed once or twice at her words, the emotions in them too fast, rising, then fading to be replaced by another, for her to catch on. “You're only going to get yourself killed, you and all of you. At least know this...” reaching the door, she turned on her heels again, locking stares with him. Hers, full of hurt, but she still couldn't make out his correctly. It seemed he felt... sadness, confusion? Or none of that, even? “I do love you, Yuriy Ivanov... Shame that you don't feel the same way...” turning around once more, she went through the door, descending the stairs she used previously to meet him. The door slammed closed, matching her temper.

The boy let a soft sigh escape him, turning his stare to the moon, which, seemingly, appeared out of no where. It was full, the silver rays shining down on him brightly. Surrounding it, there were millions of glittering stars over the velvety darkness, winking out of existence, then coming back. He resumed his previous position.

Everything had begun to get so confusing he didn't even know where to start anymore. That's what he was trying to do there on the ceiling of a building, looking up at the night sky for no apparent reason. `The Abbey…'

Not remembering much of anything before he was four, maybe five, he supposed he had no parents. Alright, he had them, but seemingly, they refused to have him. Typical. And the Abbey and Moscow streets were all he practically knew. The places where he had been happy… and hated.

And now that he was going back… The old emotions came back full force.

Would he see her again? Was she even alive?

Who knew. That was one of the reasons why he hadn't replied to Rose's last sentence. Now he was regretting it, but… Would he be telling the truth if he said he reciprocated her feelings?

He shook his head to get rid of such meaningless thoughts, making one of his bangs get caught on his lower lip. Absently, he brushed it away. He should be worried about getting into the Abbey as carefully as they could. To get to the control room and ruin their vigilance. To get to the Investigation and Development Wing quickly. But all he could think about was her. Again, he sighed.

Confusion. That was the only word he could find.



TBC...