Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ Why did I choose this life ❯ My Thoughts ( Chapter 3 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
By: silent_guardian_angel 
Anime/Manga: Beyblade Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.13.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 633 | Visits: 223 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Beyblade Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.13.2005 | Pages: 1 | Words: 633 | Visits: 223 | Status: Completed
My Thoughts
Walking home I found out that since I chose to stay with Rei, that I hadn’t missed much. When we got home Emily opened the door and we were greeted by all of our friends. “SURPRISE!!!” My face lit up as I saw all the people I hadn’t seen since BIOVOLT went down. “Mariah, Emily how are you?” Max and Kenny asked. “Great!” we answered. By the end of the night Emily and I had been hugged by Robert, Kenny, Max, Oliver, Enrique, Michel, Eddy, Steven, Johnny, and Tyson. Even Tala and Bryan came, but said that their team mates had something come up. It was a totally awesome surprise Rei and Kai had planned and Emily and I didn’t have the heart to get them back from earlier. We stayed up dancing and hanging out till a little past ten then the party calmed down, and we all headed for bed. The Majestics and All Stars stayed in the living room and the White Tigers and Tala and Bryan stayed with Kai and Rei.
After lying on my bed for about half an hour I started thinking as well as writing in my beloved Diary. *If my life is so good with my friends and all them why do I hurt so much and why am I so confused. I know I have great friend that care about me so much and I should be totally happy, but I’m not.* I stared at the roof for a while then continued.*What would everyone do if I died or just disappeared? Would they worry or would they even care? I never liked the idea of suicide or even the idea of dying. To tell you the truth I’m terrified of dying. Suicide is permanent! I don’t think that most people who commit suicide just want to die, but instead just want away out and don’t realize that if they die there’s no way to reverse it. I’m only 17 and I don’t even have a will yet.* I start to cry. I end up getting out of bed and dressing and walk to the park.
When I arrive at the park I head for one of the tree’s near the pond, and sit down. Then I remember what I wrote in my Diary yesterday. *Would I be remembered when I die? I’m normally so happy. So why do I always think about death? Should someone like me with so much to live for and friends that care about me so much, even want to die? Why is there even death? Stupid question. Why did I choose to stay with Rei?* I start crying again. *Life isn’t fair! Right now I could slit my wrists with my jack knife, or go and overdose on Tylenol, or throw myself off a bridge or something. I could die so easily. But I hurt too much, and I’m so confused. I love life so much, that I hate it. I could imagine the headlines now ‘Young woman found dead in Central Park, Friends can’t understand why she died.’ Then I think about Rei, and Emily my best friend and then I think about the White Tigers, Lee would die if anything happened to me.* I start to cry harder. *Why do I want to die so much and do I really want to die. I never thought about how my death could affect my friends. It would hurt them so much if anything happened to me. How would they get over it? But their young still they could manage.* After calming myself down I decided I wanted coffee. So getting up I headed to the nearest ‘Coffee Shack’.
Walking home I found out that since I chose to stay with Rei, that I hadn’t missed much. When we got home Emily opened the door and we were greeted by all of our friends. “SURPRISE!!!” My face lit up as I saw all the people I hadn’t seen since BIOVOLT went down. “Mariah, Emily how are you?” Max and Kenny asked. “Great!” we answered. By the end of the night Emily and I had been hugged by Robert, Kenny, Max, Oliver, Enrique, Michel, Eddy, Steven, Johnny, and Tyson. Even Tala and Bryan came, but said that their team mates had something come up. It was a totally awesome surprise Rei and Kai had planned and Emily and I didn’t have the heart to get them back from earlier. We stayed up dancing and hanging out till a little past ten then the party calmed down, and we all headed for bed. The Majestics and All Stars stayed in the living room and the White Tigers and Tala and Bryan stayed with Kai and Rei.
After lying on my bed for about half an hour I started thinking as well as writing in my beloved Diary. *If my life is so good with my friends and all them why do I hurt so much and why am I so confused. I know I have great friend that care about me so much and I should be totally happy, but I’m not.* I stared at the roof for a while then continued.*What would everyone do if I died or just disappeared? Would they worry or would they even care? I never liked the idea of suicide or even the idea of dying. To tell you the truth I’m terrified of dying. Suicide is permanent! I don’t think that most people who commit suicide just want to die, but instead just want away out and don’t realize that if they die there’s no way to reverse it. I’m only 17 and I don’t even have a will yet.* I start to cry. I end up getting out of bed and dressing and walk to the park.
When I arrive at the park I head for one of the tree’s near the pond, and sit down. Then I remember what I wrote in my Diary yesterday. *Would I be remembered when I die? I’m normally so happy. So why do I always think about death? Should someone like me with so much to live for and friends that care about me so much, even want to die? Why is there even death? Stupid question. Why did I choose to stay with Rei?* I start crying again. *Life isn’t fair! Right now I could slit my wrists with my jack knife, or go and overdose on Tylenol, or throw myself off a bridge or something. I could die so easily. But I hurt too much, and I’m so confused. I love life so much, that I hate it. I could imagine the headlines now ‘Young woman found dead in Central Park, Friends can’t understand why she died.’ Then I think about Rei, and Emily my best friend and then I think about the White Tigers, Lee would die if anything happened to me.* I start to cry harder. *Why do I want to die so much and do I really want to die. I never thought about how my death could affect my friends. It would hurt them so much if anything happened to me. How would they get over it? But their young still they could manage.* After calming myself down I decided I wanted coffee. So getting up I headed to the nearest ‘Coffee Shack’.