Big O Fan Fiction ❯ 15 Shades of gray ❯ A delusion of a memory, a feeling, a request ( Chapter 1 )

15 shades of gray By: Haruka-chan

AN: My first Big O fic so be nice because I just started to watch the show. I thought I would write one and see how it does. Now those who are not familiar with my work, I have a "dumb code" which is below. I have very bad spelling and grammar so excuse me. Tell me what you think, if you like it then I'll continue and name the chapter but if not then well then it will stay just the way it is finished. Enjoy!

A delusion of a memory, a feeling, a request...Chapter 0

It was one of those days that you sit and just sort of look out the window and wonder what life really is about, not in general; but to you. Then you discover that you would be perfect for a black and white movie about a lost soul trying to look for a release. She shook her head as her hands went back to the keys once more.

'I am nothing but a shade' she thought.

This so-called world of life is nothing but a phony excuse for those who drug themselves with life. They think that if they tried hard enough they will find what they desire within something. That is why man kill man and they have no pity for the weak. However, how was anyone different from anyone else other then his or her DNA code? There is no difference, the physical form is what made people different, and that difference turned into an emotional issue. She pressed down on one key. Life what a wonderful word that was, she herself had no life; course not generally speaking but literally.

She was a machine, she pressed harder. She was nothing but an excuse for a lost soul, a replacement, nothing more. She knew that they tried to make her think other wise and sometimes she followed acting as if she understood, and didn't know any better. She was child to them, a child that they could teach to speak and act the way they wanted her to. Her anger she couldn't explain why she was angry, actually she couldn't any emotion she felt, though she is capable of feeling she found no need for such things; well that was until she got to know them. She touched the keys slowly once more.

He stood at the doorway watching as her face made the most expression he had ever seen on her. He wondered what was bothering her. He knew her; actually that isn't true he didn't know her, matter of fact he didn't know himself. He thought minding out mysteries and bring back memories lost would help him understand himself, but the truth of the matter is that he didn't understand. A scared child, yes that's what he was a scared child looking for a way out, answers to fill that desire, and most of all a hand. Not just a hand, but also a certain hand, to hold, to love, to be with forever.

That phase always made him anger. Forever they say that memories last forever, that was a lot of crap! They don't last forever one way or the other memories fade, whether it is done by will, by mistake, or by old age it just doesn't matter in the end, you don't have those memory. Even if you gain them back, they don't matter as much as they did, they are no longer gold but they aren't dirt either. He knew very well that his quest will lead him to loose the memories most important to him yet he couldn't help but wonder if the memories he has now are even a match for what he lost. He looked at her and looked down at his hands. No maybe they are no match for what he had now, excluding the desire for that certain thing.

"Roger is there something I can help you with?" asked Dorothy finally stop playing and looking towards him.

He shook his head and smiled at her. "No I was just listening to you play" said Roger with a smile.

She started at him and found herself just wonder what he was thinking; did they have the same feelings towards anything?

"Dorothy are you busy?" he asked suddenly.

"No I don't have anything to do at all," she said.

"Good, then let's go for a walk," he said.

"A walk?" she asked confused.

Roger Smith does not go for a walk for no reason, so why was he asking her now? She found that curiosities take over and she nodded. He waited for her to come towards him. He look a good look at her. She was stunning even if she looked depressed to no ends, but still stunning. They walked out and he walked towards his car.

"You said you wanted to go for a walk," she said.

"I do just not here so where else" he said.

She nodded and got in. He drove quietly, and looked towards her, she was looking a head, her eyes giving that same depressed looked.

He had to wonder what the real Dorothy was like, what the Dorothy that she was designed after was like. He found he wanted to know if the Dorothy that was human was as charming as the android. He looked towards her and this time she was looking at him too.

"Can I ask you a question?" asked suddenly.

"Yes" she said.

"What was the actual Dorothy like?" he asked.

If she was human, she would have chuckled and just ignored him as if it didn't matter, but the truth was it did matter to her, it hurt.

"I suppose from the memories that were implanted in me she was very different from me. Though I have her memory I choose not to comply with them, I act the way I think suitable for me." She said.

"And that satisfies you?" Roger asked.

"The man that you are; does it not satisfy you?" she asked.

He looked at her. "I suppose that it does for now" said Roger.

"My memories of the human me are just guides, they help me understand you humans, but other then that it does me no other good. I was given the choice of how I want to be, and I decided on what I thought was best for me," said Dorothy.

It hurt her more then she wanted to admit, and she knew that she was no better then the humans she looked down on most of the time. The truth was that when he had asked her what her Human form was like she felt as if he wasn't happy with who she was and the first thing that came to her mind was to answer him back with an insult, but then she decided she will tell me the honest answer, even if it hurt. She had known from the start that he was not happy with who he was, but he confirmed her that it did matter to him, who he was, how he was. She wanted to explain to him that searching for the missing piece of a puzzle is good but then you could always start over and build slowly, that missing piece shouldn't always stand in your way, that you did have a choice. Memories do nothing but teach.

He could tell that the question he asked had hurt her but he couldn't help but wonder why she would get hurt. She couldn't care what they human thought of her, she had always made that clear, but then he would watch her from the side line, when she was with Norman talking to him and telling him things that a child would do, but to him she wasn't a child but a beautiful young woman, his wonders about her always made him question why? Why had he taken on protecting her? Why had he given her the chance of a life with him? And then he would think back to those time that she had come to save him, instead of prince saving the android, it was the android saving the prince, that was the fairy tales that took place in the time and place they live in. He was a broken bird, and she a forgotten princess.