Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction ❯ Abstinence Education ❯ Part Twenty-One ( Chapter 21 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Madame Manga 
Words have power to soothe and to arouse, but the sword speaks loudest of all...
Anime/Manga: Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Samurai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.11.2006 | Updated On: 06.13.2006 | Pages: 8 | Words: 9.9K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Words have power to soothe and to arouse, but the sword speaks loudest of all...
Anime/Manga: Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Samurai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 03.11.2006 | Updated On: 06.13.2006 | Pages: 8 | Words: 9.9K | Visits: 1.1K | Status: Completed
Words have power to soothe and to arouse, but the sword speaks loudest of all...
The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyrighted by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.
Feedback, crit, bitter complaints and offers of smutty fanfic gratefully received! Send 'em all to MmeManga@aol.com or put them up for public viewing here.
Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a 16-year-old female paired with an adult male. Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any Blade of the Immortal fic, so be prepared.
Note: I’ve taken a small historical liberty with Japanese bathing customs; public baths weren’t often segregated by sex until the middle of the nineteenth century. (But they still tend to have flimsy partitions!)
The lyrics of the song are adapted from various classical Japanese poems.
Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga
Part Twenty-One
“Back to civilization at last! I’m SO hungry…” Rin put a hand over her stomach and gave Manji a beseeching look. “Let’s eat, please. At the first noodle vendor’s cart we see!”
“First things first.” He frowned and peered over the heads of the throngs in the street. “We’d better find a place to stay before all the damn inns fill up again.”
“I do want a bath. And to get my clothes washed, and my hair combed, and…oh, big brother, I don’t ever want to spend a night outdoors again!”
“No ‘livin’ free in the woods’?” Manji chortled. “C’mon, I got you dried out and comfortable, didn’t I?”
Rin picked at a bit of pitch in her hair; after driving out the river’s chill by the fire Manji had built, they had bedded down on a heap of green pine boughs and fallen into exhausted sleep almost immediately. “Yes, thank you. I’m glad you know how to manage it so well–compared to how I’ve had to camp sometimes, last night was paradise.”
He grunted. “So Anotsu don’t know how to find dry wood after a rain, eh?”
“What?” Rin followed close behind as Manji cleared a path through the crowd with the aid of his jutting twin scabbards. “Oh, no–we couldn’t have a fire because there were people after us. They would have seen the smoke.”
“Uh-huh. Or maybe he figured you could keep him warm instead?”
Rin felt a twinge of irritation; ever since he had joked about the notion of Anotsu marrying her, Manji seemed to have framed it as grounds for suspicion. “Honestly, Manji! If you’re going to tease me, feed me first.” Her stomach growled with wrenching insistence. “I’m SO hungry…”
“Yeah, I think I got the picture. Hey, let’s hit that one.” Manji strode right past a food stall while heading for an inn sign.
“Fine, you ask for a room while I buy a meal!” She broke away from him and slipped between pedestrians to reach the stall.
“Hey!”
“I’ll be right here when you come back. I’ll get you something too, don’t worry!” Rin joined the line at the busy counter and dug into her bag for cash. Manji forced his way to her, shoved aside a man who stepped in front of him and took her by the shoulder.
“We’ll get some food sent up to the room. Come with me, dammit.”
“That’ll take too long! I’m hungry now.” She glanced up into his face; her eyes dilated.
Her bodyguard’s gaze was fixed on her; he looked flushed and avid. “Woman...indoors.” He tried to put his arm around her waist.
“Hey!” She pushed his hand away, blushing, and spoke in a loud whisper. “Can’t you wait half an hour?”
Manji gave her a tight grin. “I’m hungry now.”
The people packed around them obviously caught the gist of the exchange. Most of them politely pretended not to listen, assuming heaven knew what, but a couple of young women tittered into their sleeves. Rin drew herself up and treated Manji to a disdainful look. “I prefer not to be spoken to that way in public, Manji-san. I am going to buy a meal. Then I suppose I will come with you. If I must.”
He scowled and narrowed his eye at her, but looked to the side and took note of their audience. “I’ll be back in five minutes, max. Eat fast.” He turned and stalked away towards the inn. If there hadn’t been people watching, Rin had an impression that he might have picked her up and carried her with him no matter how much she protested.
She felt a number of gazes on her and flushed, but held her head high. It didn’t matter what anyone thought; she knew who she was and what she was doing. Mostly...
Waking under a roof of branches at sunrise with her smoky-smelling clothes tucked over her like a blanket, she had sensed a fresh dawn of emotion for the man snoring into her hair. The campfire outside the cozy shelter still smoldered. Though his care of her usually came out as big-brotherly condescension, Manji did his best for her in every respect. One who serves: the sole foundation of a samurai’s life. Her yojimbo ridiculed unthinking obedience to any master, but he retained a stubborn devotion to the duty that still defined him. He needed to feel like the guardian and rescuer no matter who had rescued whom: how endearingly male of him.
Rin eased her half-unraveled braids from under Manji’s cheek and turned over to look at him. His arm curved over her hip in an unconscious caress. She smiled at the hint of vulnerability that crept into his face when he slept: his lips parted, his heavy brows relaxed. The thoughts and cares that hardened his waking looks smoothed away. She had always had plenty of opportunity to contemplate his quieter aspect, since he dozed every afternoon when there was nothing to demand his attention. But he was like a soldier fighting an unending battle who had to snatch every bit of rest he could. For as long as she remained his responsibility, she would be able to count on her bodyguard’s tireless vigilance.
Right then, while he still slumbered and she watched him with tender gaze, she had wondered if their physical relationship was drawing to its inevitable conclusion. He had stopped her when she offered to relieve him in the woods; only a few days before she couldn’t have imagined him having the strength to refuse.
Rin felt a queer stab of pain as she snuggled a little closer to his warmth. She was grateful that he could keep his desire on a short leash, but she realized that she had almost wished he would lose control. A stupid fantasy–Manji declaring he couldn’t resist her womanly allure any longer and carrying her off to make her entirely his…
A warm liquid shudder moved through her from breasts to groin. No matter how stupid, that longing’s source sprang deep within her body and she couldn’t stop it up. She’d never let Manji know; he would think she hadn’t listened to his warnings at all. He had tried his best to teach her caution, and Rin was determined to be a dutiful student. Perhaps her sensei could look at the situation with a cooler head now that he had sated some of his needs. He might be planning to pull back while the original arrangement remained clear-cut.
Certainly the lessons ought to have a definite time limit, and not a distant one. Delaying opened doors to all sorts of complications…
Rin crossed her arms with an unsettling quiver in her stomach and stared at the fir-cone patterned obi of the woman ahead of her in line at the counter. She had been wrong; Manji wasn’t pulling back at all.
On a sweet impulse that morning she had woken him with a kiss: a delicate brush of her lips on his, waiting for him to stir and stretch and smile at her. Instead she felt a powerful arm clamp around her shoulders and Manji’s mouth capture hers in a response that left her fighting for breath. Then he rolled her over, pinned her to the bed of pine boughs and started to ravage her with a vigor that signaled a long and strenuous bout ahead. He was never inclined to release her until he was sure he had worn her out with pleasure.
Only her repeated protests had stopped him. A branch was digging into her back, the pine needles felt prickly on her bare skin and she hadn’t eaten since the afternoon before–couldn’t they hike to a village and locate some food and lodging before he settled down to the day’s activities? She didn’t want sunset to find them again still on the road.
He grudgingly consented to move along, though not before caressing her as much as she would allow. The process of getting dressed was a slow one since Manji’s helping hands strayed often. Between her legs she felt lingering stickiness; she hadn’t escaped without going there while restrained on his lap, his fingertips teasing through her maidenhair. He didn't take his own pleasure; all he seemed to need right then was hers. She had assumed that in pillowing a man preferred a woman to focus only on him, but Manji always seemed to like it best when she let slip how much she enjoyed his touch. Maybe something about urging her to let go made him feel in better command of himself…
“Order?”
“Yes, it sort of has to do with the order of the world as he sees it…”
“What, miss?”
Rin looked up at the girl behind the counter. “Oh! Um…”
“Order? Plain, pickles, fish or bean paste?”
“Oh, uh…two fish, two pickles, two plain. To go, please.” She put down the coins and waited while the cook wrapped the rice balls. Manji hadn’t come out of the inn yet; she might have a moment to relax before he whisked her away. She chose a seat on a bench next to a large and boisterous family, divided the meal into two portions and daintily picked up a fish-stuffed ball, reminding herself to take small bites no matter how hungry she was. Manji didn’t care about table manners, but her mother had. Not just in honor of her memory, Rin preferred to maintain some polite standards even in a noisy public food stall. Her mouth watered at the smell of fresh rice.
Someone stepped in front of her and she glanced up. A stranger, a conservatively dressed man with a shaved forelock and pomaded topknot. He wore a single short sword in his obi. Rin met his eyes for a moment, not sure why he wasn't moving on, and looked back down at her food.
“Not going to eat all that yourself, are you?”
Rin stopped on the point of a mouthful and gave the man another wary look.
“Ah, just wondering. A young lady like you wouldn’t have so big an appetite, generally.” He twitched his brows and smiled; she wondered if he meant to make a joke. “Were you expecting someone to join you?”
“My, uh, yojimbo. He’ll be here in another moment or two.” She nudged her bag into the empty space next to her to discourage any attempt to sit.
“Will he? All right, I’ll wait.” The man eased himself down, shifting her bag with his hip.
Rin scooted a little away from him and bumped into the broad back of a woman nursing an infant on the other side of the bench. “Um…for what?”
“Well…let’s just say I’d like to discuss something with him.” He made a subtle but unmistakable once-over of her wrinkled, mud-stained clothes. “Lost your home in the floods, have you?”
“No, not really.” Did he think she was destitute, and if so, did he assume she was willing to do something in exchange for money? Rin narrowed her eyes at him.
“How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Sixteen. And a half.” She sat up straight and squared her shoulders. Before speaking too sharply she wanted to be sure of his intentions, but what they were she couldn’t quite tell yet. He certainly wasn’t a gambler or a procurer; he could have been a schoolmaster. Even solid citizens had their commonplace vices!
“That young?” He raised his brows. “You must be new in town–I’d have remembered you if I’d seen you, I’m sure. Who are your parents?”
“My parents are both dead, and I’m just passing through. With my bodyguard. Look, um, mister, I think you might have made a little mistake–”
“A mistake?” He frowned and examined Rin’s sword, which he had apparently just noticed. “That’s a handsome weapon. Are you taking care of it for your, ahem, bodyguard?”
“No, he’s got plenty of blades of his own. This one is mine, and I do know how to use it.”
“Ah, is that so? Young lady–I’ll just ask you flat out…”
Rin turned red and stared at him.
“My wife and I were passing by, and we saw how that scruffy-looking fellow was handling you–it was hard to miss.” He gave her a concerned and kindly look. “I can tell you’re accustomed to much better treatment. I promised her I’d investigate.”
Was he a policeman? Rin clapped a hand over her mouth, her heart pounding. She couldn’t see a jitte sword-catcher in his sash, but one might be hidden under his coat.
“If you have no family, I can understand why you accepted a man’s protection, even his. I’m sure you didn’t realize his true intentions at first.” He shook his head, obviously disturbed. “This is such a cruel world for a young woman all on her own.”
“Uh…I guess it could be...”
He glanced across the street; Rin noticed a tidily dressed matron about her mother’s age discreetly observing them from under the eaves of a tea shop. “My wife is very anxious for you–please come and speak to her. We have two little daughters, and if anything happened to us, I’d pray for someone to help my precious girls out of trouble. Will you trust me enough to let me do that?”
“Help…me? That’s OK, thanks.” She smiled in some relief–if he wasn’t an official, he wouldn’t try to haul Manji in for questioning. She wouldn’t have liked to see the man lose a limb or be run through; although he wasn’t samurai, his bearing reminded her a little of her own father. “Really, I’m perfectly all right, and you probably ought to get back to your wife to tell her so.”
She made a quick check over her shoulder. If Manji noticed this would-be benefactor paying her such close attention, he was liable to ask questions last…
“You can escape him. Even if he has, ah, injured your honor.” The man gently urged her with a touch on her arm. “Don’t put stock in any threats he’s made. I’ll inform the authorities of the situation and put you up for as long as you need. Please, my dear, come home with me.”
“No, but thank you.” Again she nervously glanced around, but the crowd was too thick for her to spot anything from her seat. “Mister, you’d better not sit here any longer–”
He tapped his sword guard. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.”
Rin’s jaw dropped. “Uh…you did say you saw him?” She bobbed her head in the direction of the inn where Manji had gone. “The samurai with a scarred face?”
“Yes, I did, and from the look of him I can imagine he’s capable of anything. Damn it, some of those filthy renegades make common bandits seem like honorable men. There’s no scum worse than samurai scum!”
“Shh!” She flapped a hand at the level of the bench. “If he heard you say something like–”
“Get your fucking mitts off my woman.”
Right behind her–Rin jumped. The helpful man’s gaze lifted to a point above her head and stopped there, obviously having encountered Manji’s one-eyed glare. His face went slack and pale; he jerked his hand away from Rin’s arm.
“What’s this asshole got to say, huh? Besides the ‘filthy renegade’ crack…”
“It wasn’t anything important, big brother! Here, would you like something to eat?” She offered the packet of rice balls.
Manji brushed her aside and came around the end of the bench. “No thanks, little sister. I’m busy.” The helpful man stumbled to his feet and backed away, one hand up. Manji beckoned to him. “You can handle me, dude? Come on, don’t be shy–you looked bold as brass a minute ago.”
“Um–did you get a room?” Rin grabbed Manji’s sleeve and yanked hard. “Let’s go, OK? I thought you were, uh, hungry?” She tilted her head and tried out a playful smile.
Manji glanced down with an expression that made her flinch. “I didn’t get a room. The old biddy didn’t want to rent me one, that is. You could say I’m a little pissed off right now.” He directed a snarl at the helpful man, who raised both hands as if in prayer. People turned around to watch.
“If you charged in looking like that, I can see why you scared the innkeeper! Don’t hurt that poor man–he and his wife were just making sure I was OK.” The woman across the street looked ready to faint.
“Aw, bullshit! He offers you a bed outta the goodness of his heart?”
“Like there aren’t any good people in the world? Listen to me for once–”
“I humbly apologize for my offense, sir…” The man offered a low bow with trembling dignity. “I had sincere concerns for the young lady’s welfare, which I see were perhaps unwarranted–”
“Welfare? You son of a bitch.” Manji snapped his side-hooked knife into his grip. The spectators gasped and a few women shrieked. “There ain’t any man on earth who can take better care of her than me!”
“Stop that!” Rin seized his elbow in both hands. “You wouldn’t!”
“Samurai scum’s capable of anything.” He grinned at the man, who looked like he wanted to cry, or possibly throw up.
“Oh, let it drop! This isn’t like you!” She kept hold of Manji’s arm and jerked her chin at the man, who took the hint and left the stall in haste to comfort his hysterical wife. “Gee, Manji! That was totally uncalled for. Now he’s probably going to report you to the police for threatening him.” People murmured and stared.
“Screw the police–aw, crap.” He replaced his knife in his sleeve and puffed out a long breath with a hand to his forehead. “He really wasn’t hitting on you? Dammit, woman, you looked scared–”
“Because I knew he was courting death, with the mood you’re in! What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing getting a room won’t fix.” He hooked her under the arm and pulled her with him. The crowd parted like water. Rin barely had time to grab the food before he dragged her out of the stall and down the street. She stowed the packet of rice balls in her bag and licked a few grains from her fingers. That was all she’d managed to eat yet; she felt a little dizzy from hunger.
“Slow down, please. My ankle’s still sore!”
He shortened his strides. “Aw, you won’t need to stand up much longer.” The fire in his glance sent a shock through her; he seemed nearly wild with impatience. “’Cause the moment we get behind a shoji you’re gonna be on your back...or on top of me.” Manji gave her an almost shaky grin. “Damn, woman…what the hell are you doing to me?”
“I…I don’t know.” She stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you feeling all right? You almost look like you could have a fever…”
“Never felt better.” He took her into a large inn a little farther down the street and looked around the ground floor. Oddly, no one was waiting to welcome guests, though there seemed to be plenty of people in the teahouse adjoining the entrance area. Rin heard a murmur of voices and the clink of cups, and then a woman began to sing to the accompaniment of a samisen. All conversation stopped and a hush fell over the crowd.
“What the hell? Everybody run off somewhere?” Manji thumped on a post and called. “Hey! Customer!”
“Shh!” Rin touched his chest and moved closer to the teahouse door. “Oh, listen…”
“The autumn wind chills my bones
as cold as the one I hope for
in the dark, night after night.
“When in sleep–
is only what we see then to be called a dream?
This fleeting world, too,
I cannot see as reality.
Was I lost in thoughts of love
when I closed my eyes? My love appeared;
had I but known it for a dream,
I would never have awakened...”
She didn’t know the song, but it was a haunting nagauta tune, the words lovely and longing. The singer’s clarity and aching emotion sent shivers through her; it was like hearing the lament of a wandering spirit who had suffered every wound of fate.
“Aching with love
in the depths of sleep
I trod to my love a straight dream road:
If only it had been real!
More than my life
what I most regret
is a dream left unfinished
as my eyes open.
“From now on
coldly, autumn winds will blow.
How can I bear to sleep the long night through?”
After a pause as the musician drew the last few notes from her instrument, an admiring hum grew. The audience crowded too thick for Rin to see her, though she craned to look. She heard the chink of coins; the singer had earned some monetary appreciation as well, and no wonder.
“Gosh, that’s incredible…” Rin smiled and wiped tears from her eyes. “I’ve never heard a voice like that. She cuts right through you, doesn’t she?”
“Uh…right. Real nice.” Manji hadn’t said a word since Rin had shushed him; she had been so entranced she had almost forgotten his presence. He seemed a little subdued now and frowned at the backs of the spectators. “Can we get some service out here?”
The innkeeper bowed his way out of the teahouse, shooed the maids along and begged their honorable pardon for the delay. Rin lingered in the entry hoping to hear the singer again, but she had ceased for the time being and Manji urged her to follow the maid to their room.
She slowly trailed down the corridors behind him and sat on the tatami. The maid laid out yukata and informed them that the fire had just been lit and the inn’s ofuro would soon be hot. Rin sighed–she really did need a wash, and a warm soak would do wonders for her aches and strained muscles. Manji wouldn’t want to let her out of the room for a while, and it might be best to humor him...
“Here, let’s eat.” Manji gestured at her bag. Rin brought out the rice balls in some surprise; she had expected him to unroll a futon as soon as the maid left. “Go ahead and hit the bath when you’re done.”
“Really?”
“Hey, I’m paying for the hot water.” He scratched under one arm. “You might as well use it.”
“Um…what about you?”
“Hnn? I had a bath only yesterday. Got dunked twice, matter of fact.” He continued a trail of vigorous scratching up to the crown of his head and checked his grimy fingernails.
Rin wrinkled her nose. “You mean you fell in a cold, muddy river with all your clothes on? That doesn’t count.”
“Who’s counting?”
“Don’t you even like a hot bath?”
“Eh…maybe if I don't got to share.” Manji chuckled and reached for a rice ball. “I don’t like crowds, especially when I’m bare-assed.”
He ate quickly, stripped down and put on a yukata. Rin followed suit and collected their dirty clothes for the maids to launder and mend.
“I won’t take long, Manji, I promise.” She undid her braids and set her hair rings next to the pile he had made of his weapons.
“I got to grease down all my blades anyhow. Take your time.” Rin gave him a startled look. “Go on…before I change my mind.” Manji reached for a jar of oil and a rag and glanced up from under his brows with a brief hot spark in his eye. She took the hint and quickly closed the shoji behind her.
An elderly grandmother tending a little boy was already soaking in the large communal tub. A stocky younger woman fastened up her just-washed hair before climbing in, her front decorously shielded by her towel. Rin undressed, dipped up a bucketful of hot water and scrubbed with a few handfuls of fine sand until her body glowed. She chose a spot between the two women and eased into the steaming water with a grateful sigh.
Here was a chance to catch her breath for a few minutes and think. The little boy giggled and splashed, gently reproved by his grandmother. She lifted him out to let him run on the slatted wooden floor. Leaving a trail of tiny wet footprints, he squeezed around the end of the shoulder-high partition that marked the division between the men’s and women’s sides of the bathhouse. This early in the day, no men were bathing; Manji could have enjoyed all the privacy he liked if he’d come along.
Rin propped her foot on the plank seat and massaged her sore ankle under the water. It wasn’t that she dreaded returning to the room, or that Manji’s mood actually frightened her. He might be testy and antsy and horny, but he hadn’t gone insane. Perhaps he hadn’t slept as well as she had. Considering his usual habits, he probably wanted a drink and a full pipe as soon as he could get them.
Two men entered from the other side, undressed and splashed water on themselves. The little boy clambered into the men’s end of the bath along with them and walked along the seating plank to the partition, which came down to a handspan above the surface of the water. Frustrated, he banged his hands on it and cried until his grandmother reached underneath and helped him duck under and come through. She sat him on her lap and cooed and soothed him. Soon he was splashing and giggling again. The stocky woman seemed somewhat put out at the commotion, but said nothing. Rin smiled at the child, who looked at her with wide eyes and fell silent.
The bath attendant’s voice rose from behind the curtain that covered the entranceway. “Excuse me, sir…if you would like me to take a message to your young mistress–no, please don’t go in there–”
The curtain swept open. “Hey, Rin! You about finished? How long do I got to cool my heels out in the waiting room?”
Rin clapped a hand over her mouth and stared down into the water. That hadn’t taken him long…
“Sir, that’s the women’s section! Please close that and use the men’s side.”
“Ah, whatever…” She heard Manji’s footsteps on the other side of the partition and the thump of a sheathed sword dropped into a clothing basket. “Fine. If you ain’t coming out, I’ll join you.”
He couldn’t possibly mean that the way it sounded. “Um…Manji-san…”
“Huh? Speak up.” He was undoing knots and pulling the ends through.
Rin scooted over to the partition and spoke low again. “I only need to wash my hair, OK? I’ll be just a–”
His obi slithered free and dropped into the basket, quickly followed by the louder rustle of his yukata. “Nah, I decided to take a dip. Sit tight, I’ll be right with ya.”
Rin jumped out of the bath and fetched a bucket. If she moved fast enough, maybe he wouldn’t be so boorish as to invade the women’s bath, but as far as she knew he was perfectly capable of committing that particular offense. She heard his last piece of clothing hit the pile and a large splash as he vaulted into the men’s end of the bath without washing first. A wave propagated into the women’s end and sloshed over the sides. Both female occupants studiously avoided looking in Rin’s direction. She flushed and dipped up a bucketful of water.
“Hey, you don’t like it, you can clear out.” Manji spoke to the other men, who had obviously given him dirty looks. He blew his nose with a loud honk and gave an aggressive sniff. Water dripped as the men hastily climbed out and dried off. The grandmother followed suit, looking scandalized. She lifted out her grandson and dressed him. Rin shivered on a stool with her comb in hand, wondering what was next. When the curtain swished shut behind the old woman and boy, Manji rapped on the partition.
“Everybody left yet? Here I come.”
“Big brother, no!”
He ducked under the partition and came up on the women’s side, stark naked and with no towel to shield his groin. “There you are, little sister.” The stocky bather let out a loud huff and crossed her arms over her chest. Manji glanced at her and took a seat on the other side of the bath. He beckoned to Rin in a proprietary way. “Come on in…plenty of room.”
Cringing, Rin complied and sat some distance away from him. He slid a little closer, but when the stocky woman cleared her throat in a warning manner, he stopped, yanked out his hair tie and dunked his head in the water, another breach of bathing etiquette. When he surfaced, he shook himself and showered the whole room.
The woman flicked droplets from her nose, folded her arms and narrowed her eyes; she seemed to dare him to dislodge her from her place. Manji raised a brow at the ceiling. Rin sighed to herself, hoping he would give up and just take a bath, even if in the wrong end. The stocky woman smirked, and then Manji screwed up his face, leaned a little to one side and broke wind.
The woman leaped from the bath, dressed and stormed out. Her expostulations to the bath attendant were loud and indignant until the sound of her clacking geta receded down the steps. Manji chuckled in satisfaction and sat back.
“Well, that was really disgusting.” Rin rolled her eyes and fanned the air. “Why didn’t you just yell, ‘Beat it, folks. I prefer the place all to myself!’”
“But this way’s more fun.” Manji grinned, ducked under the water again and came up between her knees.
“Hey!” Rin clutched her towel to her front and tried to climb out. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her throat.
“Where are you going, little sister?”
“To finish washing my hair. It’s too warm in here.”
“Says who?” His lips wandered across her face and he circled a nipple with one wet thumb.
She pushed Manji away before he could kiss her on the mouth. “Stop that! The attendant’s probably going to come in and–”
“Then he’ll leave quick, won’t he?”
Rin struggled out of his grasp, jumped from the bath and stuck out her tongue at him. “Honestly! Wait until I’m clean!”
“Clean, dirty...who cares?” He watched with one elbow propped on the edge of the bath as she worked the snarls out of her hair and slowly poured a bucket of hot water over her head. “Damn, you’re pretty.”
He spoke with surprising fervor. Rin blinked water out of her eyes. “Big brother?”
“I can’t believe it sometimes–you cuddle up in my arms, all warm and sweet, and I can’t believe I ever got this lucky. I try to stay awake just to watch you sleepin’ so peaceful…” Manji dunked his head again.
Rin sat with a hand over her lips and her heart throbbing. She wondered if she would be able to meet his gaze when he turned to her, but he stayed underwater for several long minutes. When he emerged he took a deep breath and looked a little desperate, as if he had been trying to resolve a dilemma before his air ran out.
“Rin…uh…”
“M-Manji? 221;
“I’m tryin’, OK? It ain’t so easy.”
“What’s not easy?”
“Uh…keeping a handle on it. You know…the insatiable thing.”
Rin hid her breasts with her towel and huddled up her body. Ever since she had told him why she wouldn’t want him as a lover, she had sensed something unusual in his manner. Attempting the impossible: to mend his ways a little for her. He’d never succeed, but that he had even made the effort kicked the breath from her lungs.
“I feel, I feel kind of…I swear, you look prettier every time I turn around, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. About you. Sorry.” Once more he vanished under the surface, though only for a moment. Was he trying to hide his obvious flush in the heat?
“I…I don’t mind…” Rin rubbed chilling water from her skin and shivered. He wanted to get as much as he could out of the arrangement before it ended, of course. No wonder he felt edgy after more than a day’s deprivation. There probably wasn’t much time left before they would have to make the decision, and from the way he spoke he was just as aware of that as she was. She was glad that he still meant to consider her feelings. “Oh, Manji–I wish–you always make me feel so wonderful…”
“Yeah? You like sharing my pillow?” He partly rose from the bath. A strange expression moved over his features: half hopeful, half apprehensive.
“D-didn’t you know?”
His face transformed to commanding ardor; he wouldn’t wait a moment longer. Rin gave way to emotion and hid her face in her hands. She heard a surging rush and felt warm spattering as Manji heaved all the way out of the bath and streamed water on the floor. Immediately his arms circled her. He knelt by her stool, plastered her body against his naked wetness and kissed her.
Rin felt inundated with need, as if Manji’s spilled-over desire washed through her as well. His touch burned and flowed on her skin and the beat of his heart pounded through her whole body. Did she feel this because he felt it too? Did embracing her seem like the only thing he wanted any more? He kissed her cheeks and eyelids and returned to her mouth, blazing hot and cold with some great awareness. He fought it still: he clenched his jaw and dug his fingers into her flesh before helplessly pressing his lips to hers again, softening, opening.
Manji suddenly yanked her to her feet, grabbed her yukata and dressed her with shaking hands. He almost left the bathhouse naked, but retrieved his own clothing, wrapped it around himself in haste and hurried her back to their room. Dizzy, Rin sank to the floor and watched him lay out a futon. Squatting by the bed, he put a hand over his face and groaned as if he were in pain.
Rin shuffled over to him on her knees. “Manji? Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”
He made an inclination of the head and put an arm around her when she embraced him. “Kiss me, huh?” She raised her face and pressed her lips to his jaw, then to his mouth. Expecting to be smothered with kisses again and wrestled flat, she was surprised to feel only a slight response. Rin pulled back and looked at Manji; his eye was closed and his brows raised as if he asked a question of an inner voice.
“What is it?”
“Aw, nothing. Just listening…for once.” He patted her back, eased her robe off her shoulders and lowered her to the bed. “Rin-chan, you want me?”
Rin’s heart quaked at the endearment. “I…I always have.”
Manji smiled and closed her mouth with his.
She’d never felt so lost in the turbulent flow of sex. Learning how her body responded hadn’t allowed her to stand apart from desire and keep control. She had only made it far easier for desire to overwhelm her…
Manji’s body was blood-warm, softened from the bath like hers. Their damp skin clung and sealed to skin, and every parting hurt like a flaying. When the lightest touch was agony she couldn’t bear to avoid the deepest of contacts any more. He hadn’t said that much, had he? It was enough. Weeks ago Rin had believed her feelings were too huge to express, and she had learned nothing about real longing then. Did it multiply forever with every fresh piece of knowledge? Already she wondered if it would tear her apart.
She hungered for definition and finality and an end to wondering; all caution had to perish or this enormous question would turn to lies. The ink-black of his hair drew lines across her flesh like writing she could not yet read. If he meant to answer her now, she would listen…
Rin pulled Manji up to her and parted her legs around his body. His stiff henoko measured the distance between them. He dug his face into her shoulder and groaned; did he think she was teasing when she felt so deadly serious? With a hand wrapped around his hips she arched up to meet him, wishing in her delirium that he would close the gap forever.
“I do want you. I do…” She whispered in his ear and stroked his head; he panted against her breasts and ground his teeth. “Please…”
Arms scooped under her. Manji rolled over and seated her straddling his thighs. Did he want to make certain she was choosing her own course? He lay back and didn’t move, his erection rising just in front of her groin. Rin licked her fingers and moistened the smooth head as she’d seen done in illustrations. Manji’s chest heaved and his eye squeezed shut. His hands curved around her bare bottom and urged her for a moment, then released their grip as if forced open.
Rin moved forward on hands and knees, not sure how to proceed. Why wasn’t he showing her what to do, or even taking over? He knew exactly what she wanted. The realization vibrated in him bone-deep; he looked almost sick with it, his face sweating and pale.
There she paused, trembling all over. Surely it wouldn’t hurt very much? Manji’s fingers and the harigata toy had already explored past the barrier of her maidenhead. So there might only be a brief pain, a thin streak of blood to commemorate the death of her virginity. What greater pain might swiftly follow, she couldn’t say…
Rin clamped her lip in her teeth and tried to force all thought beneath the surface. Concentrating her resolve, she drew her spine into a tense arc and felt every sinew tighten like a strung instrument. Tears flew from her lashes and dripped on Manji’s chest. She grabbed his henoko with shaking hands and awkwardly maneuvered her hips into position.
Manji grasped her shoulders, laid her down beside him and pulled her into his arms. Although he was breathing so hard her ears roared, he didn’t make any move to continue what she had tried to start. He only stroked her back and rocked her slightly in a soothing way. “Naw…naw.”
Rin sobbed and pressed her knuckles against her mouth. She felt both ashamed and enormously relieved. Of course Manji wouldn’t allow her to come to harm in any way, even from herself–after all, he was her bodyguard. Now that he’d pulled her back from the brink, he’d let her know just how stupid she had been…
He touched her under the chin and looked into her face with a quizzical expression. “What’s the matter, Rin-chan?”
“I…I don’t know.” She hid against his chest, trembling with humiliation. “M-Manji, I’m sorry!”
“What for?” He ruffled her hair; under her cheek she felt his heart beating in deep rapid strokes.
“You should be yelling your head off at me, because I deserve it.” She sniffled. “I’m such an idiot–you must be really angry…”
Manji laughed out loud. “Damn, woman! Angry?”
“You’ve told me over and over…and I just didn’t care…I was really going to do it, and that was so incredibly dumb and it’s all my fault, and now–”
He rolled her over and pinned her hands down. “Aw, shut up.” His kiss felt like he was claiming a prize; he was bursting with ill-constrained exultation. “Oh, girl, I’m gonna take my slow sweet time getting you there. And once you are–you’re staying.”
#
“Hungry yet?”
“Mmm? Not really.” Rin stirred and stretched luxuriously in the crook of Manji’s arm. “Are you?”
“Naw…just thought you might–” He kissed her. “Thanks.”
Rin stroked his cheek when he raised his head. “You’re welcome. For what?”
Manji grinned. “Being an idiot.”
She blushed with lowered gaze. “But you didn’t take me up on it…”
“Not like I don’t appreciate the thought.” He kissed her again more thoroughly. Her lips felt soft and bruised and her whole body ripe, like an autumn fruit ready to be gathered. When Rin began to respond, Manji pulled back. “Um…you hungry?”
“What is it, Manji?”
He sat up naked in her arms. “Just thought we’d go out for a little while.”
“Go out?” Her eyes went wide. “What for?”
“Take a walk, eat a bite. We’ll be here for a few days–might as well check out the town.” He glanced at the walls and ceiling with a faintly oppressed air. “Anyway…I gotta look around.”
“Why is that?”
He cast another glance at the folding screen that stood in front of the window to block the sun. It threw a long cool shadow over the futon where they had spent the past few hours. “I got a feeling there’s something here we ought to watch out for.”
“Watch out for? What?”
“Dunno. The moment we walked into this joint my hackles went up.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s nothing I can put a finger on yet…and I pretty much forgot about it until now.” Smiling, he ran a hand along her bare thigh and squeezed.
“Oh, Manji…” Rin sat up and put her arms around his neck.
“How you feeling? A little better?”
“Yes. Very…happy. How about you?”
“Happy? Could be.” He cradled her head against his shoulder. “Feels kinda strange, anyhow.”
She giggled and kissed the curve of his throat. “I guess it might.”
“So I’ll sit easier if I can sniff around a bit and put this notion of mine to rest. I don’t want any more distractions.”
The maid had brought back their clean clothes and left them folded outside the shoji. They dressed, Rin braided her hair, and Manji slung his weapons under his kosode. She rose and turned to him; he looked at her with a crease between his brows.
“Manji?”
“Here, let me check something. Stand up straight.” Manji put his hand on her head and moved behind her. He flattened his palm, slid it over the top of her skull and measured it against his chest. “Well…damn.”
“What is it?”
“You’re reaching higher than you were a few months ago. By maybe a sun, or a sun and a half.” He marked off on his right thumb and showed her. “How tall was your mother?”
“Um…” She indicated a point slightly above her head.
“Yeah, you’ll hit that in another year or so. But you’ve got a little way to go.” Manji made a grimace. “I gotta feed you better.”
Outside the afternoon sun had started to lose some of its heat and a breeze had come up. Rin smelled mountain pines and cooking fires and a tinge of autumn. It was the harvest season, and it was the doorway to winter, but winter seemed remote on a warm day with such clear skies. She detected another odor that piqued her attention and turned her head.
“Oh, it’s a sweet-noodle vendor. Those look awfully good…”
“Hungry after all…at least when it’s dessert?” Manji shook his head with an indulgent smile. “Whatever; I’ll treat you to a bowl.”
“Don’t you want anything?”
“Since when have I had a sweet tooth? Hey...” He stopped short and looked at a shop sign in the shape of an oversized tobacco pipe. “Damn, that’s a sight for sore eyes. How long has it been since I had a smoke?”
Rin laughed. “You might not like dessert, Manji, but don’t say I’m the only one of us who enjoys treats!”
He cocked his head and laughed with her. “There’s one we can agree on, yeah.” A flick of the brow changed that to a less innocent remark, and Rin blushed in nervous pleasure. Manji had said nothing very definite, nor done anything yet that would leave a mark on her. A tacit understanding seemed to hold them, something delicate and finely wound. Rin didn’t want to disturb the smallest strand of that fragile web of anticipation. She sensed that the next few days, or even hours, might dictate a direction for the rest of her life.
Rin ordered a bowl of translucent noodles in cool syrup and found a bench to sit on while she ate. Although Manji had said he wanted to buy tobacco, he lingered next to her, scanning the passersby. One thumb absently tapped a hilt cap.
“Have you figured out what was bothering you?” Rin slurped a long noodle and looked up at Manji.
“Naw…I’m probably imagining things.” He probed one ear with his little finger. “Hearing things, anyway.”
“You did seem out of sorts earlier...like when I went to get the food.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been kinda jumpy all day, but I guess I popped off a little.” He sat down, raised one knee and gave her a half-grin. “Eh…I don’t like getting taken for a scumbag of a ronin.”
“I’m sorry he said that. He seemed nice…but he must really hate that sort of criminal.” Rin blinked in comprehension. “I bet someone in his family was attacked by ronin, and he holds a grudge!”
“Could be. There’s plenty of guys carrying two swords who use them for what they shouldn’t.” Manji puffed out his cheeks. “Hey, I could’ve ended up a highway robber, or just gone around challenging everybody who bumped my scabbard in the street.”
“Of course you wouldn’t have. You’re not that kind of man!”
He chewed his jaw back and forth and propped a forearm on his raised knee. “Rin…you know what they call me.”
Her face felt a little cold; she knew.
“The ‘hundred-man murderer’. That was me…just two years ago.”
“It’s not what you are now!”
“Yeah?” Manji looked at her. “That guy was dead on the mark, in a manner of speaking–a hundred cops ended up on the point of my blade. How is that not me?”
“Well…well, because you just aren’t.” She swallowed against a tightness in her throat. “You take such good care of me…”
“Do I? Am I really thinkin’ about what’s good for you right now?” His jaw muscles knotted. “If taking care of you is the only thing that keeps me from being just what that guy called me…then I damn well got to do it right, don’t I?”
Rin stared into her bowl, her eyes brimming.
“Rin-chan…” Manji covered both his mismatched eyelids for a moment. “It ain’t easy. It’s never easy. That’s how you know when you’re facing facts, because it’s so damn hard. When it seems plain and clear and you got all the answers…watch out. It’s when you’re not even looking for it that karma turns around and takes a big bleeding chunk out of your backside.” He put a hand on his ribcage and moved it a little higher.
“Isn’t there anything…that tells you how to act? Like following your duty?”
“If my duty’s putting a sword through the right necks, I can do my duty. I got the tools, see?” Slowly he turned his head towards her. “I know what my cock’s telling me to do–he don’t change his tune. Maybe I know something about what you want to tell me. You’re a kid. In another five years–hell, in another two–you’re not gonna be a kid any more, and you won’t be thinking anything like you do now or wanting anything like you do now. You get my drift?”
She nodded, blinking back tears. “I understand, Manji…but you haven’t said what you want to tell yourself.”
His eye closed and he looked pained. “I’m tryin’ to face facts, that’s what. About you. About me…and how I feel when I think about where duty’s likely to take me. It ain’t a happy thought, that’s for sure.”
“Couldn’t you let yourself be happy? For a little while, at least?”
“God…” He lowered his head and clenched his hands on his knees. “God, woman, I wish…so goddamn much sometimes…”
“Manji…I don’t think it’s wrong to want that. I don’t think it’s wrong to do some things in your life just to be happy. Life is so short–” She stopped, gulping. “Or…or it’s longer than you ever imagined, and wouldn’t it be terrible if your whole life long you couldn’t ever be happy again? Or if you didn’t even have a memory…of a time when you just let yourself be human.”
Manji raised his head. Again the fire in his expression shocked her, but this was the light of another blaze entirely. Lit from the same source but burning deeper, clear through the grimes and the stinks and the heaviness of flesh. This wasn’t a fire to be quenched in the mingling of sweat or the flooding of seed. All their bodies could be was fuel…
“B-big brother?”
“Let’s get back to our room now.” He sounded thick and hoarse. “OK, little sister?”
Rin nodded, her chin trembling. She started to rise, but he made a gesture at her nearly full bowl. “I’ll buy that tobacco. You go on and finish your treat–I’ll be right back.”
“Yes.” He stood up, took a few steps and looked back at her, and Rin echoed herself. “Yes, Manji. Yes.”
She thought, at the moment he turned to go across the street, that she would remember the look in his face for the rest of her life, and be able to take that with her to the other side of the river.
Rin watched until Manji disappeared into the tobacconist’s shop, then addressed her noodles. The sweetness seemed childish and cloying now, and she lowered her chopsticks. Hearing things? What had it been about that teahouse song that so riveted her attention? It hadn’t been the words or music alone, but the haunting ache in the singer’s voice. Emotion, sad or happy, was universally understood. It didn’t have to be spoken to be an unbreakable bond between human beings…
Manji came out of the tobacconist’s with his lit pipe in his teeth and tucked his pouch into the front of his kosode. He glanced down into his palm and seemed to be counting his change.
“Hello, Rin.”
A woman’s voice, low and melodious. Rin looked around in startlement. The person who stood beside her had a beautiful face, and the saddest eyes she had ever seen. The short ragged haircut was an odd contrast with ivory skin and perfect lips–
Otonotachibana Makie. The deadliest fighter she had ever imagined.
Rin gasped; her bowl dropped from her hands and broke. Manji’s head jerked up at the smash. His pipe and money bounced to the ground. He shouldered through a group of pedestrians to reach her, knocking one man on his backside, and simultaneously lashed an arm across his body to seize the hilt of a sword.
“Rin! What the–”
Half-drawn: and then he recognized Makie too and let the blade drop back into the scabbard as if his fingers had lost their strength. He took an unsteady breath, flexed his hands and kept his eye fixed on the samisen Makie carried. It served as concealment for her lethal three-part pike, but she made no move to open it yet.
“Makie-san?” Rin fell to her knees on the ground and grabbed Manji around the thighs. Her heart pounded like thunder. His skills and the bloodworms could delay the inevitable, but if Manji drew a weapon against her, Makie would show no mercy. She could sever a limb or strike off a head with the unconcerned precision of a dancer wielding a fan. “P-please–why are you here?”
“Leggo of me!” Manji shook Rin off and took a step forward to shield her with his body. “Rin, run like hell.”
“Wh-what?”
“Don’t stop for anything.” He glanced over his shoulder, his expression again strangely alight. Even glad. “If the lady’s in a genuine killing mood today…I might be able to buy you ten minutes.”
Continued...
The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyrighted by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.
Feedback, crit, bitter complaints and offers of smutty fanfic gratefully received! Send 'em all to MmeManga@aol.com or put them up for public viewing here.
Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a 16-year-old female paired with an adult male. Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any Blade of the Immortal fic, so be prepared.
Note: I’ve taken a small historical liberty with Japanese bathing customs; public baths weren’t often segregated by sex until the middle of the nineteenth century. (But they still tend to have flimsy partitions!)
The lyrics of the song are adapted from various classical Japanese poems.
Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga
Part Twenty-One
“Back to civilization at last! I’m SO hungry…” Rin put a hand over her stomach and gave Manji a beseeching look. “Let’s eat, please. At the first noodle vendor’s cart we see!”
“First things first.” He frowned and peered over the heads of the throngs in the street. “We’d better find a place to stay before all the damn inns fill up again.”
“I do want a bath. And to get my clothes washed, and my hair combed, and…oh, big brother, I don’t ever want to spend a night outdoors again!”
“No ‘livin’ free in the woods’?” Manji chortled. “C’mon, I got you dried out and comfortable, didn’t I?”
Rin picked at a bit of pitch in her hair; after driving out the river’s chill by the fire Manji had built, they had bedded down on a heap of green pine boughs and fallen into exhausted sleep almost immediately. “Yes, thank you. I’m glad you know how to manage it so well–compared to how I’ve had to camp sometimes, last night was paradise.”
He grunted. “So Anotsu don’t know how to find dry wood after a rain, eh?”
“What?” Rin followed close behind as Manji cleared a path through the crowd with the aid of his jutting twin scabbards. “Oh, no–we couldn’t have a fire because there were people after us. They would have seen the smoke.”
“Uh-huh. Or maybe he figured you could keep him warm instead?”
Rin felt a twinge of irritation; ever since he had joked about the notion of Anotsu marrying her, Manji seemed to have framed it as grounds for suspicion. “Honestly, Manji! If you’re going to tease me, feed me first.” Her stomach growled with wrenching insistence. “I’m SO hungry…”
“Yeah, I think I got the picture. Hey, let’s hit that one.” Manji strode right past a food stall while heading for an inn sign.
“Fine, you ask for a room while I buy a meal!” She broke away from him and slipped between pedestrians to reach the stall.
“Hey!”
“I’ll be right here when you come back. I’ll get you something too, don’t worry!” Rin joined the line at the busy counter and dug into her bag for cash. Manji forced his way to her, shoved aside a man who stepped in front of him and took her by the shoulder.
“We’ll get some food sent up to the room. Come with me, dammit.”
“That’ll take too long! I’m hungry now.” She glanced up into his face; her eyes dilated.
Her bodyguard’s gaze was fixed on her; he looked flushed and avid. “Woman...indoors.” He tried to put his arm around her waist.
“Hey!” She pushed his hand away, blushing, and spoke in a loud whisper. “Can’t you wait half an hour?”
Manji gave her a tight grin. “I’m hungry now.”
The people packed around them obviously caught the gist of the exchange. Most of them politely pretended not to listen, assuming heaven knew what, but a couple of young women tittered into their sleeves. Rin drew herself up and treated Manji to a disdainful look. “I prefer not to be spoken to that way in public, Manji-san. I am going to buy a meal. Then I suppose I will come with you. If I must.”
He scowled and narrowed his eye at her, but looked to the side and took note of their audience. “I’ll be back in five minutes, max. Eat fast.” He turned and stalked away towards the inn. If there hadn’t been people watching, Rin had an impression that he might have picked her up and carried her with him no matter how much she protested.
She felt a number of gazes on her and flushed, but held her head high. It didn’t matter what anyone thought; she knew who she was and what she was doing. Mostly...
Waking under a roof of branches at sunrise with her smoky-smelling clothes tucked over her like a blanket, she had sensed a fresh dawn of emotion for the man snoring into her hair. The campfire outside the cozy shelter still smoldered. Though his care of her usually came out as big-brotherly condescension, Manji did his best for her in every respect. One who serves: the sole foundation of a samurai’s life. Her yojimbo ridiculed unthinking obedience to any master, but he retained a stubborn devotion to the duty that still defined him. He needed to feel like the guardian and rescuer no matter who had rescued whom: how endearingly male of him.
Rin eased her half-unraveled braids from under Manji’s cheek and turned over to look at him. His arm curved over her hip in an unconscious caress. She smiled at the hint of vulnerability that crept into his face when he slept: his lips parted, his heavy brows relaxed. The thoughts and cares that hardened his waking looks smoothed away. She had always had plenty of opportunity to contemplate his quieter aspect, since he dozed every afternoon when there was nothing to demand his attention. But he was like a soldier fighting an unending battle who had to snatch every bit of rest he could. For as long as she remained his responsibility, she would be able to count on her bodyguard’s tireless vigilance.
Right then, while he still slumbered and she watched him with tender gaze, she had wondered if their physical relationship was drawing to its inevitable conclusion. He had stopped her when she offered to relieve him in the woods; only a few days before she couldn’t have imagined him having the strength to refuse.
Rin felt a queer stab of pain as she snuggled a little closer to his warmth. She was grateful that he could keep his desire on a short leash, but she realized that she had almost wished he would lose control. A stupid fantasy–Manji declaring he couldn’t resist her womanly allure any longer and carrying her off to make her entirely his…
A warm liquid shudder moved through her from breasts to groin. No matter how stupid, that longing’s source sprang deep within her body and she couldn’t stop it up. She’d never let Manji know; he would think she hadn’t listened to his warnings at all. He had tried his best to teach her caution, and Rin was determined to be a dutiful student. Perhaps her sensei could look at the situation with a cooler head now that he had sated some of his needs. He might be planning to pull back while the original arrangement remained clear-cut.
Certainly the lessons ought to have a definite time limit, and not a distant one. Delaying opened doors to all sorts of complications…
Rin crossed her arms with an unsettling quiver in her stomach and stared at the fir-cone patterned obi of the woman ahead of her in line at the counter. She had been wrong; Manji wasn’t pulling back at all.
On a sweet impulse that morning she had woken him with a kiss: a delicate brush of her lips on his, waiting for him to stir and stretch and smile at her. Instead she felt a powerful arm clamp around her shoulders and Manji’s mouth capture hers in a response that left her fighting for breath. Then he rolled her over, pinned her to the bed of pine boughs and started to ravage her with a vigor that signaled a long and strenuous bout ahead. He was never inclined to release her until he was sure he had worn her out with pleasure.
Only her repeated protests had stopped him. A branch was digging into her back, the pine needles felt prickly on her bare skin and she hadn’t eaten since the afternoon before–couldn’t they hike to a village and locate some food and lodging before he settled down to the day’s activities? She didn’t want sunset to find them again still on the road.
He grudgingly consented to move along, though not before caressing her as much as she would allow. The process of getting dressed was a slow one since Manji’s helping hands strayed often. Between her legs she felt lingering stickiness; she hadn’t escaped without going there while restrained on his lap, his fingertips teasing through her maidenhair. He didn't take his own pleasure; all he seemed to need right then was hers. She had assumed that in pillowing a man preferred a woman to focus only on him, but Manji always seemed to like it best when she let slip how much she enjoyed his touch. Maybe something about urging her to let go made him feel in better command of himself…
“Order?”
“Yes, it sort of has to do with the order of the world as he sees it…”
“What, miss?”
Rin looked up at the girl behind the counter. “Oh! Um…”
“Order? Plain, pickles, fish or bean paste?”
“Oh, uh…two fish, two pickles, two plain. To go, please.” She put down the coins and waited while the cook wrapped the rice balls. Manji hadn’t come out of the inn yet; she might have a moment to relax before he whisked her away. She chose a seat on a bench next to a large and boisterous family, divided the meal into two portions and daintily picked up a fish-stuffed ball, reminding herself to take small bites no matter how hungry she was. Manji didn’t care about table manners, but her mother had. Not just in honor of her memory, Rin preferred to maintain some polite standards even in a noisy public food stall. Her mouth watered at the smell of fresh rice.
Someone stepped in front of her and she glanced up. A stranger, a conservatively dressed man with a shaved forelock and pomaded topknot. He wore a single short sword in his obi. Rin met his eyes for a moment, not sure why he wasn't moving on, and looked back down at her food.
“Not going to eat all that yourself, are you?”
Rin stopped on the point of a mouthful and gave the man another wary look.
“Ah, just wondering. A young lady like you wouldn’t have so big an appetite, generally.” He twitched his brows and smiled; she wondered if he meant to make a joke. “Were you expecting someone to join you?”
“My, uh, yojimbo. He’ll be here in another moment or two.” She nudged her bag into the empty space next to her to discourage any attempt to sit.
“Will he? All right, I’ll wait.” The man eased himself down, shifting her bag with his hip.
Rin scooted a little away from him and bumped into the broad back of a woman nursing an infant on the other side of the bench. “Um…for what?”
“Well…let’s just say I’d like to discuss something with him.” He made a subtle but unmistakable once-over of her wrinkled, mud-stained clothes. “Lost your home in the floods, have you?”
“No, not really.” Did he think she was destitute, and if so, did he assume she was willing to do something in exchange for money? Rin narrowed her eyes at him.
“How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”
“Sixteen. And a half.” She sat up straight and squared her shoulders. Before speaking too sharply she wanted to be sure of his intentions, but what they were she couldn’t quite tell yet. He certainly wasn’t a gambler or a procurer; he could have been a schoolmaster. Even solid citizens had their commonplace vices!
“That young?” He raised his brows. “You must be new in town–I’d have remembered you if I’d seen you, I’m sure. Who are your parents?”
“My parents are both dead, and I’m just passing through. With my bodyguard. Look, um, mister, I think you might have made a little mistake–”
“A mistake?” He frowned and examined Rin’s sword, which he had apparently just noticed. “That’s a handsome weapon. Are you taking care of it for your, ahem, bodyguard?”
“No, he’s got plenty of blades of his own. This one is mine, and I do know how to use it.”
“Ah, is that so? Young lady–I’ll just ask you flat out…”
Rin turned red and stared at him.
“My wife and I were passing by, and we saw how that scruffy-looking fellow was handling you–it was hard to miss.” He gave her a concerned and kindly look. “I can tell you’re accustomed to much better treatment. I promised her I’d investigate.”
Was he a policeman? Rin clapped a hand over her mouth, her heart pounding. She couldn’t see a jitte sword-catcher in his sash, but one might be hidden under his coat.
“If you have no family, I can understand why you accepted a man’s protection, even his. I’m sure you didn’t realize his true intentions at first.” He shook his head, obviously disturbed. “This is such a cruel world for a young woman all on her own.”
“Uh…I guess it could be...”
He glanced across the street; Rin noticed a tidily dressed matron about her mother’s age discreetly observing them from under the eaves of a tea shop. “My wife is very anxious for you–please come and speak to her. We have two little daughters, and if anything happened to us, I’d pray for someone to help my precious girls out of trouble. Will you trust me enough to let me do that?”
“Help…me? That’s OK, thanks.” She smiled in some relief–if he wasn’t an official, he wouldn’t try to haul Manji in for questioning. She wouldn’t have liked to see the man lose a limb or be run through; although he wasn’t samurai, his bearing reminded her a little of her own father. “Really, I’m perfectly all right, and you probably ought to get back to your wife to tell her so.”
She made a quick check over her shoulder. If Manji noticed this would-be benefactor paying her such close attention, he was liable to ask questions last…
“You can escape him. Even if he has, ah, injured your honor.” The man gently urged her with a touch on her arm. “Don’t put stock in any threats he’s made. I’ll inform the authorities of the situation and put you up for as long as you need. Please, my dear, come home with me.”
“No, but thank you.” Again she nervously glanced around, but the crowd was too thick for her to spot anything from her seat. “Mister, you’d better not sit here any longer–”
He tapped his sword guard. “Don’t worry, I can handle him.”
Rin’s jaw dropped. “Uh…you did say you saw him?” She bobbed her head in the direction of the inn where Manji had gone. “The samurai with a scarred face?”
“Yes, I did, and from the look of him I can imagine he’s capable of anything. Damn it, some of those filthy renegades make common bandits seem like honorable men. There’s no scum worse than samurai scum!”
“Shh!” She flapped a hand at the level of the bench. “If he heard you say something like–”
“Get your fucking mitts off my woman.”
Right behind her–Rin jumped. The helpful man’s gaze lifted to a point above her head and stopped there, obviously having encountered Manji’s one-eyed glare. His face went slack and pale; he jerked his hand away from Rin’s arm.
“What’s this asshole got to say, huh? Besides the ‘filthy renegade’ crack…”
“It wasn’t anything important, big brother! Here, would you like something to eat?” She offered the packet of rice balls.
Manji brushed her aside and came around the end of the bench. “No thanks, little sister. I’m busy.” The helpful man stumbled to his feet and backed away, one hand up. Manji beckoned to him. “You can handle me, dude? Come on, don’t be shy–you looked bold as brass a minute ago.”
“Um–did you get a room?” Rin grabbed Manji’s sleeve and yanked hard. “Let’s go, OK? I thought you were, uh, hungry?” She tilted her head and tried out a playful smile.
Manji glanced down with an expression that made her flinch. “I didn’t get a room. The old biddy didn’t want to rent me one, that is. You could say I’m a little pissed off right now.” He directed a snarl at the helpful man, who raised both hands as if in prayer. People turned around to watch.
“If you charged in looking like that, I can see why you scared the innkeeper! Don’t hurt that poor man–he and his wife were just making sure I was OK.” The woman across the street looked ready to faint.
“Aw, bullshit! He offers you a bed outta the goodness of his heart?”
“Like there aren’t any good people in the world? Listen to me for once–”
“I humbly apologize for my offense, sir…” The man offered a low bow with trembling dignity. “I had sincere concerns for the young lady’s welfare, which I see were perhaps unwarranted–”
“Welfare? You son of a bitch.” Manji snapped his side-hooked knife into his grip. The spectators gasped and a few women shrieked. “There ain’t any man on earth who can take better care of her than me!”
“Stop that!” Rin seized his elbow in both hands. “You wouldn’t!”
“Samurai scum’s capable of anything.” He grinned at the man, who looked like he wanted to cry, or possibly throw up.
“Oh, let it drop! This isn’t like you!” She kept hold of Manji’s arm and jerked her chin at the man, who took the hint and left the stall in haste to comfort his hysterical wife. “Gee, Manji! That was totally uncalled for. Now he’s probably going to report you to the police for threatening him.” People murmured and stared.
“Screw the police–aw, crap.” He replaced his knife in his sleeve and puffed out a long breath with a hand to his forehead. “He really wasn’t hitting on you? Dammit, woman, you looked scared–”
“Because I knew he was courting death, with the mood you’re in! What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing getting a room won’t fix.” He hooked her under the arm and pulled her with him. The crowd parted like water. Rin barely had time to grab the food before he dragged her out of the stall and down the street. She stowed the packet of rice balls in her bag and licked a few grains from her fingers. That was all she’d managed to eat yet; she felt a little dizzy from hunger.
“Slow down, please. My ankle’s still sore!”
He shortened his strides. “Aw, you won’t need to stand up much longer.” The fire in his glance sent a shock through her; he seemed nearly wild with impatience. “’Cause the moment we get behind a shoji you’re gonna be on your back...or on top of me.” Manji gave her an almost shaky grin. “Damn, woman…what the hell are you doing to me?”
“I…I don’t know.” She stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you feeling all right? You almost look like you could have a fever…”
“Never felt better.” He took her into a large inn a little farther down the street and looked around the ground floor. Oddly, no one was waiting to welcome guests, though there seemed to be plenty of people in the teahouse adjoining the entrance area. Rin heard a murmur of voices and the clink of cups, and then a woman began to sing to the accompaniment of a samisen. All conversation stopped and a hush fell over the crowd.
“What the hell? Everybody run off somewhere?” Manji thumped on a post and called. “Hey! Customer!”
“Shh!” Rin touched his chest and moved closer to the teahouse door. “Oh, listen…”
“The autumn wind chills my bones
as cold as the one I hope for
in the dark, night after night.
“When in sleep–
is only what we see then to be called a dream?
This fleeting world, too,
I cannot see as reality.
Was I lost in thoughts of love
when I closed my eyes? My love appeared;
had I but known it for a dream,
I would never have awakened...”
She didn’t know the song, but it was a haunting nagauta tune, the words lovely and longing. The singer’s clarity and aching emotion sent shivers through her; it was like hearing the lament of a wandering spirit who had suffered every wound of fate.
“Aching with love
in the depths of sleep
I trod to my love a straight dream road:
If only it had been real!
More than my life
what I most regret
is a dream left unfinished
as my eyes open.
“From now on
coldly, autumn winds will blow.
How can I bear to sleep the long night through?”
After a pause as the musician drew the last few notes from her instrument, an admiring hum grew. The audience crowded too thick for Rin to see her, though she craned to look. She heard the chink of coins; the singer had earned some monetary appreciation as well, and no wonder.
“Gosh, that’s incredible…” Rin smiled and wiped tears from her eyes. “I’ve never heard a voice like that. She cuts right through you, doesn’t she?”
“Uh…right. Real nice.” Manji hadn’t said a word since Rin had shushed him; she had been so entranced she had almost forgotten his presence. He seemed a little subdued now and frowned at the backs of the spectators. “Can we get some service out here?”
The innkeeper bowed his way out of the teahouse, shooed the maids along and begged their honorable pardon for the delay. Rin lingered in the entry hoping to hear the singer again, but she had ceased for the time being and Manji urged her to follow the maid to their room.
She slowly trailed down the corridors behind him and sat on the tatami. The maid laid out yukata and informed them that the fire had just been lit and the inn’s ofuro would soon be hot. Rin sighed–she really did need a wash, and a warm soak would do wonders for her aches and strained muscles. Manji wouldn’t want to let her out of the room for a while, and it might be best to humor him...
“Here, let’s eat.” Manji gestured at her bag. Rin brought out the rice balls in some surprise; she had expected him to unroll a futon as soon as the maid left. “Go ahead and hit the bath when you’re done.”
“Really?”
“Hey, I’m paying for the hot water.” He scratched under one arm. “You might as well use it.”
“Um…what about you?”
“Hnn? I had a bath only yesterday. Got dunked twice, matter of fact.” He continued a trail of vigorous scratching up to the crown of his head and checked his grimy fingernails.
Rin wrinkled her nose. “You mean you fell in a cold, muddy river with all your clothes on? That doesn’t count.”
“Who’s counting?”
“Don’t you even like a hot bath?”
“Eh…maybe if I don't got to share.” Manji chuckled and reached for a rice ball. “I don’t like crowds, especially when I’m bare-assed.”
He ate quickly, stripped down and put on a yukata. Rin followed suit and collected their dirty clothes for the maids to launder and mend.
“I won’t take long, Manji, I promise.” She undid her braids and set her hair rings next to the pile he had made of his weapons.
“I got to grease down all my blades anyhow. Take your time.” Rin gave him a startled look. “Go on…before I change my mind.” Manji reached for a jar of oil and a rag and glanced up from under his brows with a brief hot spark in his eye. She took the hint and quickly closed the shoji behind her.
An elderly grandmother tending a little boy was already soaking in the large communal tub. A stocky younger woman fastened up her just-washed hair before climbing in, her front decorously shielded by her towel. Rin undressed, dipped up a bucketful of hot water and scrubbed with a few handfuls of fine sand until her body glowed. She chose a spot between the two women and eased into the steaming water with a grateful sigh.
Here was a chance to catch her breath for a few minutes and think. The little boy giggled and splashed, gently reproved by his grandmother. She lifted him out to let him run on the slatted wooden floor. Leaving a trail of tiny wet footprints, he squeezed around the end of the shoulder-high partition that marked the division between the men’s and women’s sides of the bathhouse. This early in the day, no men were bathing; Manji could have enjoyed all the privacy he liked if he’d come along.
Rin propped her foot on the plank seat and massaged her sore ankle under the water. It wasn’t that she dreaded returning to the room, or that Manji’s mood actually frightened her. He might be testy and antsy and horny, but he hadn’t gone insane. Perhaps he hadn’t slept as well as she had. Considering his usual habits, he probably wanted a drink and a full pipe as soon as he could get them.
Two men entered from the other side, undressed and splashed water on themselves. The little boy clambered into the men’s end of the bath along with them and walked along the seating plank to the partition, which came down to a handspan above the surface of the water. Frustrated, he banged his hands on it and cried until his grandmother reached underneath and helped him duck under and come through. She sat him on her lap and cooed and soothed him. Soon he was splashing and giggling again. The stocky woman seemed somewhat put out at the commotion, but said nothing. Rin smiled at the child, who looked at her with wide eyes and fell silent.
The bath attendant’s voice rose from behind the curtain that covered the entranceway. “Excuse me, sir…if you would like me to take a message to your young mistress–no, please don’t go in there–”
The curtain swept open. “Hey, Rin! You about finished? How long do I got to cool my heels out in the waiting room?”
Rin clapped a hand over her mouth and stared down into the water. That hadn’t taken him long…
“Sir, that’s the women’s section! Please close that and use the men’s side.”
“Ah, whatever…” She heard Manji’s footsteps on the other side of the partition and the thump of a sheathed sword dropped into a clothing basket. “Fine. If you ain’t coming out, I’ll join you.”
He couldn’t possibly mean that the way it sounded. “Um…Manji-san…”
“Huh? Speak up.” He was undoing knots and pulling the ends through.
Rin scooted over to the partition and spoke low again. “I only need to wash my hair, OK? I’ll be just a–”
His obi slithered free and dropped into the basket, quickly followed by the louder rustle of his yukata. “Nah, I decided to take a dip. Sit tight, I’ll be right with ya.”
Rin jumped out of the bath and fetched a bucket. If she moved fast enough, maybe he wouldn’t be so boorish as to invade the women’s bath, but as far as she knew he was perfectly capable of committing that particular offense. She heard his last piece of clothing hit the pile and a large splash as he vaulted into the men’s end of the bath without washing first. A wave propagated into the women’s end and sloshed over the sides. Both female occupants studiously avoided looking in Rin’s direction. She flushed and dipped up a bucketful of water.
“Hey, you don’t like it, you can clear out.” Manji spoke to the other men, who had obviously given him dirty looks. He blew his nose with a loud honk and gave an aggressive sniff. Water dripped as the men hastily climbed out and dried off. The grandmother followed suit, looking scandalized. She lifted out her grandson and dressed him. Rin shivered on a stool with her comb in hand, wondering what was next. When the curtain swished shut behind the old woman and boy, Manji rapped on the partition.
“Everybody left yet? Here I come.”
“Big brother, no!”
He ducked under the partition and came up on the women’s side, stark naked and with no towel to shield his groin. “There you are, little sister.” The stocky bather let out a loud huff and crossed her arms over her chest. Manji glanced at her and took a seat on the other side of the bath. He beckoned to Rin in a proprietary way. “Come on in…plenty of room.”
Cringing, Rin complied and sat some distance away from him. He slid a little closer, but when the stocky woman cleared her throat in a warning manner, he stopped, yanked out his hair tie and dunked his head in the water, another breach of bathing etiquette. When he surfaced, he shook himself and showered the whole room.
The woman flicked droplets from her nose, folded her arms and narrowed her eyes; she seemed to dare him to dislodge her from her place. Manji raised a brow at the ceiling. Rin sighed to herself, hoping he would give up and just take a bath, even if in the wrong end. The stocky woman smirked, and then Manji screwed up his face, leaned a little to one side and broke wind.
The woman leaped from the bath, dressed and stormed out. Her expostulations to the bath attendant were loud and indignant until the sound of her clacking geta receded down the steps. Manji chuckled in satisfaction and sat back.
“Well, that was really disgusting.” Rin rolled her eyes and fanned the air. “Why didn’t you just yell, ‘Beat it, folks. I prefer the place all to myself!’”
“But this way’s more fun.” Manji grinned, ducked under the water again and came up between her knees.
“Hey!” Rin clutched her towel to her front and tried to climb out. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her throat.
“Where are you going, little sister?”
“To finish washing my hair. It’s too warm in here.”
“Says who?” His lips wandered across her face and he circled a nipple with one wet thumb.
She pushed Manji away before he could kiss her on the mouth. “Stop that! The attendant’s probably going to come in and–”
“Then he’ll leave quick, won’t he?”
Rin struggled out of his grasp, jumped from the bath and stuck out her tongue at him. “Honestly! Wait until I’m clean!”
“Clean, dirty...who cares?” He watched with one elbow propped on the edge of the bath as she worked the snarls out of her hair and slowly poured a bucket of hot water over her head. “Damn, you’re pretty.”
He spoke with surprising fervor. Rin blinked water out of her eyes. “Big brother?”
“I can’t believe it sometimes–you cuddle up in my arms, all warm and sweet, and I can’t believe I ever got this lucky. I try to stay awake just to watch you sleepin’ so peaceful…” Manji dunked his head again.
Rin sat with a hand over her lips and her heart throbbing. She wondered if she would be able to meet his gaze when he turned to her, but he stayed underwater for several long minutes. When he emerged he took a deep breath and looked a little desperate, as if he had been trying to resolve a dilemma before his air ran out.
“Rin…uh…”
“M-Manji? 221;
“I’m tryin’, OK? It ain’t so easy.”
“What’s not easy?”
“Uh…keeping a handle on it. You know…the insatiable thing.”
Rin hid her breasts with her towel and huddled up her body. Ever since she had told him why she wouldn’t want him as a lover, she had sensed something unusual in his manner. Attempting the impossible: to mend his ways a little for her. He’d never succeed, but that he had even made the effort kicked the breath from her lungs.
“I feel, I feel kind of…I swear, you look prettier every time I turn around, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. About you. Sorry.” Once more he vanished under the surface, though only for a moment. Was he trying to hide his obvious flush in the heat?
“I…I don’t mind…” Rin rubbed chilling water from her skin and shivered. He wanted to get as much as he could out of the arrangement before it ended, of course. No wonder he felt edgy after more than a day’s deprivation. There probably wasn’t much time left before they would have to make the decision, and from the way he spoke he was just as aware of that as she was. She was glad that he still meant to consider her feelings. “Oh, Manji–I wish–you always make me feel so wonderful…”
“Yeah? You like sharing my pillow?” He partly rose from the bath. A strange expression moved over his features: half hopeful, half apprehensive.
“D-didn’t you know?”
His face transformed to commanding ardor; he wouldn’t wait a moment longer. Rin gave way to emotion and hid her face in her hands. She heard a surging rush and felt warm spattering as Manji heaved all the way out of the bath and streamed water on the floor. Immediately his arms circled her. He knelt by her stool, plastered her body against his naked wetness and kissed her.
Rin felt inundated with need, as if Manji’s spilled-over desire washed through her as well. His touch burned and flowed on her skin and the beat of his heart pounded through her whole body. Did she feel this because he felt it too? Did embracing her seem like the only thing he wanted any more? He kissed her cheeks and eyelids and returned to her mouth, blazing hot and cold with some great awareness. He fought it still: he clenched his jaw and dug his fingers into her flesh before helplessly pressing his lips to hers again, softening, opening.
Manji suddenly yanked her to her feet, grabbed her yukata and dressed her with shaking hands. He almost left the bathhouse naked, but retrieved his own clothing, wrapped it around himself in haste and hurried her back to their room. Dizzy, Rin sank to the floor and watched him lay out a futon. Squatting by the bed, he put a hand over his face and groaned as if he were in pain.
Rin shuffled over to him on her knees. “Manji? Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”
He made an inclination of the head and put an arm around her when she embraced him. “Kiss me, huh?” She raised her face and pressed her lips to his jaw, then to his mouth. Expecting to be smothered with kisses again and wrestled flat, she was surprised to feel only a slight response. Rin pulled back and looked at Manji; his eye was closed and his brows raised as if he asked a question of an inner voice.
“What is it?”
“Aw, nothing. Just listening…for once.” He patted her back, eased her robe off her shoulders and lowered her to the bed. “Rin-chan, you want me?”
Rin’s heart quaked at the endearment. “I…I always have.”
Manji smiled and closed her mouth with his.
She’d never felt so lost in the turbulent flow of sex. Learning how her body responded hadn’t allowed her to stand apart from desire and keep control. She had only made it far easier for desire to overwhelm her…
Manji’s body was blood-warm, softened from the bath like hers. Their damp skin clung and sealed to skin, and every parting hurt like a flaying. When the lightest touch was agony she couldn’t bear to avoid the deepest of contacts any more. He hadn’t said that much, had he? It was enough. Weeks ago Rin had believed her feelings were too huge to express, and she had learned nothing about real longing then. Did it multiply forever with every fresh piece of knowledge? Already she wondered if it would tear her apart.
She hungered for definition and finality and an end to wondering; all caution had to perish or this enormous question would turn to lies. The ink-black of his hair drew lines across her flesh like writing she could not yet read. If he meant to answer her now, she would listen…
Rin pulled Manji up to her and parted her legs around his body. His stiff henoko measured the distance between them. He dug his face into her shoulder and groaned; did he think she was teasing when she felt so deadly serious? With a hand wrapped around his hips she arched up to meet him, wishing in her delirium that he would close the gap forever.
“I do want you. I do…” She whispered in his ear and stroked his head; he panted against her breasts and ground his teeth. “Please…”
Arms scooped under her. Manji rolled over and seated her straddling his thighs. Did he want to make certain she was choosing her own course? He lay back and didn’t move, his erection rising just in front of her groin. Rin licked her fingers and moistened the smooth head as she’d seen done in illustrations. Manji’s chest heaved and his eye squeezed shut. His hands curved around her bare bottom and urged her for a moment, then released their grip as if forced open.
Rin moved forward on hands and knees, not sure how to proceed. Why wasn’t he showing her what to do, or even taking over? He knew exactly what she wanted. The realization vibrated in him bone-deep; he looked almost sick with it, his face sweating and pale.
There she paused, trembling all over. Surely it wouldn’t hurt very much? Manji’s fingers and the harigata toy had already explored past the barrier of her maidenhead. So there might only be a brief pain, a thin streak of blood to commemorate the death of her virginity. What greater pain might swiftly follow, she couldn’t say…
Rin clamped her lip in her teeth and tried to force all thought beneath the surface. Concentrating her resolve, she drew her spine into a tense arc and felt every sinew tighten like a strung instrument. Tears flew from her lashes and dripped on Manji’s chest. She grabbed his henoko with shaking hands and awkwardly maneuvered her hips into position.
Manji grasped her shoulders, laid her down beside him and pulled her into his arms. Although he was breathing so hard her ears roared, he didn’t make any move to continue what she had tried to start. He only stroked her back and rocked her slightly in a soothing way. “Naw…naw.”
Rin sobbed and pressed her knuckles against her mouth. She felt both ashamed and enormously relieved. Of course Manji wouldn’t allow her to come to harm in any way, even from herself–after all, he was her bodyguard. Now that he’d pulled her back from the brink, he’d let her know just how stupid she had been…
He touched her under the chin and looked into her face with a quizzical expression. “What’s the matter, Rin-chan?”
“I…I don’t know.” She hid against his chest, trembling with humiliation. “M-Manji, I’m sorry!”
“What for?” He ruffled her hair; under her cheek she felt his heart beating in deep rapid strokes.
“You should be yelling your head off at me, because I deserve it.” She sniffled. “I’m such an idiot–you must be really angry…”
Manji laughed out loud. “Damn, woman! Angry?”
“You’ve told me over and over…and I just didn’t care…I was really going to do it, and that was so incredibly dumb and it’s all my fault, and now–”
He rolled her over and pinned her hands down. “Aw, shut up.” His kiss felt like he was claiming a prize; he was bursting with ill-constrained exultation. “Oh, girl, I’m gonna take my slow sweet time getting you there. And once you are–you’re staying.”
#
“Hungry yet?”
“Mmm? Not really.” Rin stirred and stretched luxuriously in the crook of Manji’s arm. “Are you?”
“Naw…just thought you might–” He kissed her. “Thanks.”
Rin stroked his cheek when he raised his head. “You’re welcome. For what?”
Manji grinned. “Being an idiot.”
She blushed with lowered gaze. “But you didn’t take me up on it…”
“Not like I don’t appreciate the thought.” He kissed her again more thoroughly. Her lips felt soft and bruised and her whole body ripe, like an autumn fruit ready to be gathered. When Rin began to respond, Manji pulled back. “Um…you hungry?”
“What is it, Manji?”
He sat up naked in her arms. “Just thought we’d go out for a little while.”
“Go out?” Her eyes went wide. “What for?”
“Take a walk, eat a bite. We’ll be here for a few days–might as well check out the town.” He glanced at the walls and ceiling with a faintly oppressed air. “Anyway…I gotta look around.”
“Why is that?”
He cast another glance at the folding screen that stood in front of the window to block the sun. It threw a long cool shadow over the futon where they had spent the past few hours. “I got a feeling there’s something here we ought to watch out for.”
“Watch out for? What?”
“Dunno. The moment we walked into this joint my hackles went up.” He rubbed his chin. “It’s nothing I can put a finger on yet…and I pretty much forgot about it until now.” Smiling, he ran a hand along her bare thigh and squeezed.
“Oh, Manji…” Rin sat up and put her arms around his neck.
“How you feeling? A little better?”
“Yes. Very…happy. How about you?”
“Happy? Could be.” He cradled her head against his shoulder. “Feels kinda strange, anyhow.”
She giggled and kissed the curve of his throat. “I guess it might.”
“So I’ll sit easier if I can sniff around a bit and put this notion of mine to rest. I don’t want any more distractions.”
The maid had brought back their clean clothes and left them folded outside the shoji. They dressed, Rin braided her hair, and Manji slung his weapons under his kosode. She rose and turned to him; he looked at her with a crease between his brows.
“Manji?”
“Here, let me check something. Stand up straight.” Manji put his hand on her head and moved behind her. He flattened his palm, slid it over the top of her skull and measured it against his chest. “Well…damn.”
“What is it?”
“You’re reaching higher than you were a few months ago. By maybe a sun, or a sun and a half.” He marked off on his right thumb and showed her. “How tall was your mother?”
“Um…” She indicated a point slightly above her head.
“Yeah, you’ll hit that in another year or so. But you’ve got a little way to go.” Manji made a grimace. “I gotta feed you better.”
Outside the afternoon sun had started to lose some of its heat and a breeze had come up. Rin smelled mountain pines and cooking fires and a tinge of autumn. It was the harvest season, and it was the doorway to winter, but winter seemed remote on a warm day with such clear skies. She detected another odor that piqued her attention and turned her head.
“Oh, it’s a sweet-noodle vendor. Those look awfully good…”
“Hungry after all…at least when it’s dessert?” Manji shook his head with an indulgent smile. “Whatever; I’ll treat you to a bowl.”
“Don’t you want anything?”
“Since when have I had a sweet tooth? Hey...” He stopped short and looked at a shop sign in the shape of an oversized tobacco pipe. “Damn, that’s a sight for sore eyes. How long has it been since I had a smoke?”
Rin laughed. “You might not like dessert, Manji, but don’t say I’m the only one of us who enjoys treats!”
He cocked his head and laughed with her. “There’s one we can agree on, yeah.” A flick of the brow changed that to a less innocent remark, and Rin blushed in nervous pleasure. Manji had said nothing very definite, nor done anything yet that would leave a mark on her. A tacit understanding seemed to hold them, something delicate and finely wound. Rin didn’t want to disturb the smallest strand of that fragile web of anticipation. She sensed that the next few days, or even hours, might dictate a direction for the rest of her life.
Rin ordered a bowl of translucent noodles in cool syrup and found a bench to sit on while she ate. Although Manji had said he wanted to buy tobacco, he lingered next to her, scanning the passersby. One thumb absently tapped a hilt cap.
“Have you figured out what was bothering you?” Rin slurped a long noodle and looked up at Manji.
“Naw…I’m probably imagining things.” He probed one ear with his little finger. “Hearing things, anyway.”
“You did seem out of sorts earlier...like when I went to get the food.”
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been kinda jumpy all day, but I guess I popped off a little.” He sat down, raised one knee and gave her a half-grin. “Eh…I don’t like getting taken for a scumbag of a ronin.”
“I’m sorry he said that. He seemed nice…but he must really hate that sort of criminal.” Rin blinked in comprehension. “I bet someone in his family was attacked by ronin, and he holds a grudge!”
“Could be. There’s plenty of guys carrying two swords who use them for what they shouldn’t.” Manji puffed out his cheeks. “Hey, I could’ve ended up a highway robber, or just gone around challenging everybody who bumped my scabbard in the street.”
“Of course you wouldn’t have. You’re not that kind of man!”
He chewed his jaw back and forth and propped a forearm on his raised knee. “Rin…you know what they call me.”
Her face felt a little cold; she knew.
“The ‘hundred-man murderer’. That was me…just two years ago.”
“It’s not what you are now!”
“Yeah?” Manji looked at her. “That guy was dead on the mark, in a manner of speaking–a hundred cops ended up on the point of my blade. How is that not me?”
“Well…well, because you just aren’t.” She swallowed against a tightness in her throat. “You take such good care of me…”
“Do I? Am I really thinkin’ about what’s good for you right now?” His jaw muscles knotted. “If taking care of you is the only thing that keeps me from being just what that guy called me…then I damn well got to do it right, don’t I?”
Rin stared into her bowl, her eyes brimming.
“Rin-chan…” Manji covered both his mismatched eyelids for a moment. “It ain’t easy. It’s never easy. That’s how you know when you’re facing facts, because it’s so damn hard. When it seems plain and clear and you got all the answers…watch out. It’s when you’re not even looking for it that karma turns around and takes a big bleeding chunk out of your backside.” He put a hand on his ribcage and moved it a little higher.
“Isn’t there anything…that tells you how to act? Like following your duty?”
“If my duty’s putting a sword through the right necks, I can do my duty. I got the tools, see?” Slowly he turned his head towards her. “I know what my cock’s telling me to do–he don’t change his tune. Maybe I know something about what you want to tell me. You’re a kid. In another five years–hell, in another two–you’re not gonna be a kid any more, and you won’t be thinking anything like you do now or wanting anything like you do now. You get my drift?”
She nodded, blinking back tears. “I understand, Manji…but you haven’t said what you want to tell yourself.”
His eye closed and he looked pained. “I’m tryin’ to face facts, that’s what. About you. About me…and how I feel when I think about where duty’s likely to take me. It ain’t a happy thought, that’s for sure.”
“Couldn’t you let yourself be happy? For a little while, at least?”
“God…” He lowered his head and clenched his hands on his knees. “God, woman, I wish…so goddamn much sometimes…”
“Manji…I don’t think it’s wrong to want that. I don’t think it’s wrong to do some things in your life just to be happy. Life is so short–” She stopped, gulping. “Or…or it’s longer than you ever imagined, and wouldn’t it be terrible if your whole life long you couldn’t ever be happy again? Or if you didn’t even have a memory…of a time when you just let yourself be human.”
Manji raised his head. Again the fire in his expression shocked her, but this was the light of another blaze entirely. Lit from the same source but burning deeper, clear through the grimes and the stinks and the heaviness of flesh. This wasn’t a fire to be quenched in the mingling of sweat or the flooding of seed. All their bodies could be was fuel…
“B-big brother?”
“Let’s get back to our room now.” He sounded thick and hoarse. “OK, little sister?”
Rin nodded, her chin trembling. She started to rise, but he made a gesture at her nearly full bowl. “I’ll buy that tobacco. You go on and finish your treat–I’ll be right back.”
“Yes.” He stood up, took a few steps and looked back at her, and Rin echoed herself. “Yes, Manji. Yes.”
She thought, at the moment he turned to go across the street, that she would remember the look in his face for the rest of her life, and be able to take that with her to the other side of the river.
Rin watched until Manji disappeared into the tobacconist’s shop, then addressed her noodles. The sweetness seemed childish and cloying now, and she lowered her chopsticks. Hearing things? What had it been about that teahouse song that so riveted her attention? It hadn’t been the words or music alone, but the haunting ache in the singer’s voice. Emotion, sad or happy, was universally understood. It didn’t have to be spoken to be an unbreakable bond between human beings…
Manji came out of the tobacconist’s with his lit pipe in his teeth and tucked his pouch into the front of his kosode. He glanced down into his palm and seemed to be counting his change.
“Hello, Rin.”
A woman’s voice, low and melodious. Rin looked around in startlement. The person who stood beside her had a beautiful face, and the saddest eyes she had ever seen. The short ragged haircut was an odd contrast with ivory skin and perfect lips–
Otonotachibana Makie. The deadliest fighter she had ever imagined.
Rin gasped; her bowl dropped from her hands and broke. Manji’s head jerked up at the smash. His pipe and money bounced to the ground. He shouldered through a group of pedestrians to reach her, knocking one man on his backside, and simultaneously lashed an arm across his body to seize the hilt of a sword.
“Rin! What the–”
Half-drawn: and then he recognized Makie too and let the blade drop back into the scabbard as if his fingers had lost their strength. He took an unsteady breath, flexed his hands and kept his eye fixed on the samisen Makie carried. It served as concealment for her lethal three-part pike, but she made no move to open it yet.
“Makie-san?” Rin fell to her knees on the ground and grabbed Manji around the thighs. Her heart pounded like thunder. His skills and the bloodworms could delay the inevitable, but if Manji drew a weapon against her, Makie would show no mercy. She could sever a limb or strike off a head with the unconcerned precision of a dancer wielding a fan. “P-please–why are you here?”
“Leggo of me!” Manji shook Rin off and took a step forward to shield her with his body. “Rin, run like hell.”
“Wh-what?”
“Don’t stop for anything.” He glanced over his shoulder, his expression again strangely alight. Even glad. “If the lady’s in a genuine killing mood today…I might be able to buy you ten minutes.”
Continued...