Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction ❯ Abstinence Education ❯ Part Thirty-Nine ( Chapter 39 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

As always, feedback/comments/crit are my bread and butter... or my green tea, steamed rice and furikake sprinkle.

Not out of the woods yet, but fires are burning in the forest...

The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyright by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.

Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a sixteen-year-old female paired with an adult male. (Yeah, this also applies to future chapters!) Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any BotI fic... and more of that stuff is coming as well...

Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga

Part Thirty-Nine



“Are we lost?”

Anotsu slightly turned his head, but didn’t stop. “Why would you say that?”

“Oh... I don’t know.”

So he’d realized it too. Rin rubbed her lips and tried to distinguish the stars through the black cage of crisscrossing branches overhead. Only a slice of the waxing moon gave a little light tonight, and it had sunk so low she could no longer tell where it was. Even if she could have seen much of the sky, she had no idea how to take precise bearings: but she thought that they had veered to the east and gone too far downhill.

Still, losing their direction didn’t disturb Rin as much as she thought it ought to. As long as they kept walking, she wouldn’t arrive at her destination. She wouldn’t have to face Manji. Maybe she would have wandered all night, half-consciously steering away from the place where he waited for her, while assuring herself she was still searching for him.

To put off the inevitable. Or make it no longer a necessity. She ought to disappear from Manji’s life as cleanly as possible. Not a sister; not a lover; not even a charge to protect. All she could be to him now was a pair of shackles... so she should free him. Cut herself off from him forever –

Just like cutting off his head.

Rin’s stomach trembled and tightened. Somewhere in this forest Manji lay helpless, maimed, with no one but her willing to aid him. Before any other consideration, she had to bring him back what he had lost – her arm hugged her bag with its grisly cargo closer to her side. That task she couldn’t possibly sidestep, and she almost looked forward to it. A peculiar ache softened her tension for a moment – Manji needed her. She could cradle her yojimbo’s wounded body again, tenderly minister to his needs and do her best to restore him to health.

If he healed at all, he’d be back to normal in a few days, no more. After that?

Nothing. She couldn’t offer him any other payment for his suffering, especially not the one she had longed so much to give him. She’d never be able to forget what it was like to give her body, and to have his. Sharp memories stung her: Manji holding her from behind and kissing her ear while his hands invaded the openings of her clothes and he chuckled at her blushes. The tickle of his hair in her face, and the rippled slide of muscle under his skin when he bared his torso for her caresses; her heart beating fast with anticipation when he let her untie his belt and pull off the last of his garments. The cloth warm and a little sweat-damp to the touch, holding his male aroma.

Rin’s pulse thumped under her jaw. She had learned how to tend to her sensei’s pleasure with her hands and her mouth and her closed thighs, but the elaborate routes they had skirted around the most prominent matter of all seemed almost ridiculous now. Even what she and Manji had done yesterday was partly a charade, a way to dodge their real destination. With the best of intentions, maybe. Honor be damned when all the rules could change in one night’s bed...

Rin struggled to hold her sobs in her throat and keep them silent. She wouldn’t give Anotsu the satisfaction – he must know exactly how she felt right now, anyway. Didn’t he? Hadn’t he meant to strip away her fond illusions, like tearing the wrappings from a gift she had coyly hidden away to open later? No matter how she wrestled with her conflicts, she couldn’t force her mind to any other conclusion than the one he had laid into her hands. She had sown poison where she had meant to bestow joy; she could never be part of Manji’s atonement again.

Of course that was what just Anotsu had meant to do: guide the whole question into a direction that suited him, and she had walked straight into a trap that would not release its grip. But Anotsu, of all people – could he really have peered through the muddle of a young woman’s mind when she could barely discern its mysteries herself? Maybe from an outside perspective, the darkness seemed less obscure...

Hadn’t someone else advised him where to look? Whispered all her confided secrets into his ear? Rin set her teeth on edge. Who had said she could trust the motives of a woman like Makie, anyway?

Rin hastily jogged to catch up with Anotsu and the small glow of the lantern as he continued ahead. He wasn’t walking fast, however; he shifted his burden from one shoulder to the other, as he had done three or four times already. A dense copse of shrubs interrupted their path, and he paused in apparent indecision. He raised the lantern and looked from side to side; the light fell on his face in profile. He seemed on the edge of exhaustion, the lines around his eyes deeper and his color drained. Rin’s flagging energies revived somewhat at the sight, as if his weakness fed her strength.

“Are those weapons getting heavy?” She gestured at the bundles slung over Anotsu’s shoulder. “Do you want me to take some of – ”

“No. Thank you.” He turned to the right to avoid the copse and stalked on as if offended by the suggestion. Rin followed, listening to his labored breathing in the darkness. In the Kaga mountains, he had refused to let her carry his heavy ax even when he couldn’t stand under his own power. She wondered if it shamed him ever to have depended on a woman.

“So... um, where is Makie-san?”

Anotsu didn’t reply for so long that she wondered if she should repeat the question. “Makie-san,” he eventually murmured, almost to himself.

“I thought she was traveling with you. You know, staying in the same inn? Wow, that landlord sure seems to have fallen head over heels – ”

He took a deep breath and let it out. “Makie has her own destination to reach.”

“Then who’s been with you on the way home from Kaga? Just Magatsu? I thought Makie might be protecting you... since she’s a lot more than just a wonderful singer. And, uh, a poet and really beautiful... but you knew that. Right?”

“Protecting me?” He emitted a short laugh. “Do you think I need a bodyguard?”

“Well... you know. You were wounded. On top of it all.” Rin made a speculative grimace behind his back. How deep did Anotsu’s own feelings run? This felt like the right direction, but he’d show her no signposts. “I thought you might still be, uh, recovering... it hasn’t been that long, not really.”

“Hmn.” She couldn’t tell if her concern displeased him or not.

“I thought you might have asked her anyway, even if you didn’t think you needed help. To come with you, I mean.”

“Eh?”

“Well, Makie-san would have agreed to come with you to Edo if you asked her, wouldn’t she?” Rin chewed on a fingernail, a little wary of venturing too far but deciding to persist at least until he cut her off. “Or she would have just come even if you hadn’t asked, because she... er, she seems to be concerned about you, you know, like following you to where all those guys caught us and turning them into one big heap of body parts in maybe five minutes flat. I guess you’re, uh, really good friends?”

Anotsu gave a slow sigh. “Makie is my kinswoman. My grandfather’s sister’s grandaughter.”

“Oh! Uh?” Then they were related? Rin felt a peculiar shock. Had she been thinking of Makie as an honorary relative because of her connection to the Mutenichi-ryu? What did that make Anotsu?

“If you think you’ve noted some marks of particular regard between us, our family ties must account for... most of that.”

“But...” Could that be true? He and Makie saw each other as brother and sister? Rin blew out a breath and shook her head. Their kinship wasn’t nearly that close, only second cousins, and from what hints she could sort out, they hadn’t grown up together. He was just trying to deflect her, because she was hitting some kind of target after all. Rin smiled and rolled her eyes. “Well, come on – what she told me – the way she looked – I mean, aren’t you and she in... err...”

“Told you something?” Anotsu looked over his shoulder. “On what occasion could you have spoken with her?”

Rin smacked her fingers to her lips, silently cursing her own stupidity. She shouldn’t assume anything about what Makie had told him!

“Ah... you must mean when she dueled with your bodyguard on your behalf.” He nodded and looked away again.

“Wh-WHAT?” The skin tightened on the back of Rin’s neck. “Me? Uh, but, didn’t she say it was about insults in public – ”

“Makie told me in confidence that she saw you assisting Manji-san to walk while he was drunk, and that in the dark she mistook it for an improper familiarity on his part.” Anotsu rubbed his shoulder and rolled it back and forth as if he felt a cramp. “She didn’t want to say as much in front of my men. Out of concern for your reputation, naturally.”

“Oh... ehrr...” Rin bit down on the end of her tongue as she walked, trying to calm her pounding heart. Makie had attacked Manji with terrifying fury – after witnessing, beyond any possible doubt or darkness, a guardian forcing a kiss on the girl he was supposed to protect. But apparently the swordswoman had judged it best not to reveal the whole truth... because Anotsu might have reacted exactly as she had? “My reputation, huh? What’s that to you?” Her voice cracked.

“I beg your pardon, Rin-dono. I don’t mean to give offense... especially since I know that you are capable of taking every possible measure to preserve your honor.” Anotsu shifted his load again, sighing. “Your bodyguard is a man like most other men. Well, perhaps not just any other... aheh... but who could fault him simply for experiencing a man’s natural urges?”

“Haah?”

“His manner with you in recent days – well, no need to repeat townsmen’s gossip. Manji-san may not bother to veil his impulses before the world, but Makie assured me that he would never stoop to offer you deliberate harm. Though Mado’s report gave me an, ahem, much stronger impression – ”

Rin stumbled and stopped dead. Panic pressed the air out of her lungs.

Anotsu took another step or two and paused in front of her. Had he only put off dealing with Manji until he could remove her from the scene? Maybe Anotsu was only pretending to wander out of his reckoning so they wouldn’t get back before – oh, God, did Magatsu have secret orders to let his danna keep his own hands clean?

She wheezed loudly, fighting the crushing sensation in her chest. Anotsu turned and looked at her with apparent concern. “What’s wrong?”

With a heroic effort and a few thumps from her fist, Rin regained something resembling normal breathing. She waved a hand at him since she still couldn’t speak.

“I apologize, Rin-dono.” Anotsu made a slight grimace, as if he had spilt an inkblot while copying out a letter. “I should remember that a young woman isn’t used to discussing... such an indelicate subject. I don’t wonder that your ordeal has left you feeling vulnerable. But I only meant to reassure you.”

Her mouth dropped open. Reassure – what?

“As I was saying – a foreigner could never fully grasp a bushi’s motives... even when observing such a seemingly straightforward man as your yojimbo.” Anotsu held up a palm and looked a little contrite. “I’m sorry I took that report at face value, even for a moment, because that frightened you. On longer reflection... if an outlaw with a price on his head had been able to propose honorable marriage, I suppose he might have done so. Lacking that... well...”

Rin remained silent, staring at Anotsu’s feet. Then he knew. Or did he?

“Was Manji-san very angry? When he left you behind on the road this afternoon?”

Her face blazed. “Wh... what... well, he – ah...”

“I think I understand. To have disappointed his impossible hopes, as you must, and then to see him turn back to defend you anyway? Who would not be moved by such loyalty? It’s no sin to return that... with compassion.”

“You... understand?”

Anotsu shook his head with an almost indulgent air. “I don’t attach undue importance to such matters – that would be foolish. Perhaps I couldn’t say that of many girls of sixteen.” He nodded to her and smiled with a condescension that suddenly infuriated her. “But to lose great aims for trifles accomplishes nothing.” He moved forward again, Rin in pursuit.

“...What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Even the most sincere emotions are formed from drifting sand. They must collapse under the burden of any profound choice.” Anotsu sounded quiet and meditative; Rin had to strain a little to make out his deep voice over the scrape and crackle of their footfalls, though she had never been so conscious of the measured rhythms of his words. “Duty and principle – those alone are wrought in stone, and can build the foundations of a life. Most women aren’t capable of weighing their true importance... but you are not an ordinary woman, Rin-dono. Even at so young an age, you demonstrate your duty to family at every test. Do not doubt your own strength... even when it causes you pain.”

Nothing of undue importance... like all emotions. His own, everyone else’s – did he have any idea what love was? She almost felt sorry for the patronizing jerk, though her brain whirled and sweat soaked her inner clothing. If he had realized how far she and Manji had actually carried their involvement, would he have felt so magnanimous? But then why should he care about a girlish flirtation or even another man’s unconsummated lust, if he never intended to base any choice in life on human feelings? If so, perhaps his was the best way to think about it after all...

Rin put a hand over her mouth and breathed steadily through her fingers until her mind settled a little. All right, so Anotsu Kagehisa was pretty damn good at putting two and two together. She had expected that. But even if he’d suspected a little more than he could prove, he’d probably still have arrived at the same conclusion. Because he’d forgotten something even more important than all his information and analysis, if he’d ever realized it at all; a woman – a girl – could feel passion too.

The hell with Anotsu. The hell with his calculations, his plans and his foresight and his stupid stiff-necked ideas. A samurai woman’s chastity and honor! That was hers to decide, not for him to decree. Rin stuck out her jaw and screwed up her defiance. He couldn’t take that decision away from her with all his insinuations, not unless she let him lead her around like a kitten on a string. Manji’s intentions should count much more than Anotsu’s, anyway.

Rin aimed a hostile glare at Anotsu’s back. Manji was her only real ally, as far as that went... and wasn’t she his? Without each other, who else did they have in the world? Even if they couldn’t continue to sleep together, she hadn’t abandoned her vendetta, no matter if things might appear otherwise right now. Once Manji was strong enough to make his wishes known – and for the moment she hoped, pushing away all other concerns, that he meant to insist she at least remain under his protection – then they’d see about that!

Wouldn’t they, though? Rin smiled and sighed to herself in anticipation of a fervent demonstration of feeling on both sides, and as if stricken by her triumph, Anotsu hooked a toe in a root and staggered. “Uhrr...”

“Hey!” Rin ran forward and grabbed the lantern before he could drop it. “Are you OK?”

“I – uh, let’s stop here. Take our bearings.” He groped his way to a tree and leaned on it, propping his head on his forearm. She wondered for a moment if he was about to faint. “I think... we may have veered... from our direction.”

Rin set the lantern on a boulder and hunkered down beside it. “Oh... no kidding?”

“We should have crossed the path some time ago.” He dabbed his face with his scarf and let his shoulders slump against the tree. “I might have chosen the downhill turns too often...”

“So now what?” The lantern flickered, and Rin glanced at it. “Oh – quick, give me another candle! This is about to go out again.”

Anotsu eased Manji’s weapons to the ground with a groan of relief. He untied his bundle and handed Rin the candle. “There’s only one more left, by the way.”

Rin made a face and slid up the lantern’s panel. “I guess we used them up kind of fast.”

“This has gone dead. Guard the flame, or else we’ll have no light at all.” Anotsu dumped the ashes from his charcoal holder.

The flame guttered in a pool of melted wax; the wind nearly extinguished it before she could shield it with her hand. Rin gingerly waved the new wick above the old, trying to warm it before she touched it directly to the weakening flame. Just as the lantern’s candle sputtered out, she caught the last of its life on the one she held. She fervently hoped they wouldn’t have to make camp until daylight, and not just because she hated sleeping outdoors. How long could Manji wait for his missing pieces to be restored, especially with the chewed fragments of his right hand in such a miserable state? She thought of him weak and in pain, huddled on the cold ground without a fire or even a blanket, and her chin trembled.

Before the smoulder moved down the twist of paper wick and began to draw on the melting wax, she sensed another light rising in the darkness. It touched the high treetops above and grew brighter. The moon had already set. Not an approaching lantern? Rin quickly set the burning candle in place, closed the lantern and stood up to look for the source of the new light. In the sky to her left hung an orange glow that had nothing to do with the long-vanished sunset. She frowned and climbed up on the boulder for a better view.

Anotsu opened his eyes and looked up at her. “What is it?”

Rin pointed, and he straightened and raised his head. “It sort of looks like a big fire... but I don’t think the trees themselves are burning.”

Anotsu’s lips parted and he stood away from the trunk that supported him. “A signal!”

“You think that’s for us? It could just be a woodcutter’s camp... or bandits.” She shivered. “Maybe we shouldn’t go anywhere near it!”

“An ordinary campfire wouldn’t be a twentieth that size. Why else use up so much fuel at once?” Anotsu seemed to have received a new charge of vigor; he hoisted the weapons again and headed uphill towards the light. Rin snatched up the lantern and followed. The direction struck her as roughly correct, or at least not obviously wrong. They worked their way through a thickly wooded gulch where they lost sight of the fire, then emerged onto a rough, hummocky slope strewn with boulders and loose rounded rocks. The light glowed near the top of the steep hill, and they aimed straight for it. Rin struggled with the uncertain footing; she had to pick her way with the aid of the lantern and kept bruising her lightly shod soles on rocks. From what she could see by starlight, they were climbing up the jumble left by a long, wide-spread landslide that had torn away the whole side of the hill. The slide was only a few years old, judging from the small size of the spindly trees dotting it here and there. She peered up at the bright beacon.

“Magatsu must have thought you were a little late getting back?”

“Undoubtedly.” Anotsu panted and paused often for breath as they approached the fire’s position. He had to go on all fours sometimes to keep his balance on the steeper bits, but he sounded much less tired than he had twenty minutes before. “You’re right – his help has been indispensable to me. I realize that you may not have good impressions of him – ”

Rin shrugged and grimaced. “Gosh, I dunno. He threw my mother a dagger and told her to kill herself over my father’s dead body. Then he took my grandfather’s sword for a trophy and left. Why wouldn’t I have a ‘good impression’?” She gripped the hilt of that re-won sword, now riding in the sling of her shoulder bag. “Though he did help Manji out a couple of times... I guess.”

Anotsu chuckled. “He can throw harder than anyone I know. A gold coin as a missile?” He climbed an abrupt vertical bank and knelt at the top to offer her a hand up.

“Yeah, Magatsu ‘paid’ Manji back, didn’t he?” Rin accepted the hand since she was encumbered with the lantern, scrambled up the bank and dusted her knees. Anotsu laughed more heartily than the small quip deserved. “Then can you tell me why he’s so angry at him now? I mean, other than because Manji didn’t need to kill Hebi, and I guess he liked Hebi?” Anotsu turned to head up the hill towards the fire, which she could now see a little distance above them. Rin followed. “Or... is it really that he’s mad at – ”

Anotsu stopped with a sudden warning gesture. “Wait.”

“What?” Rin halted behind the barrier he made of his arm and looked around his shoulder. “Is it bandits after all?” Between two big boulders, a tall pyramid of uncut logs sent flames in a high, twisting column. No, Anotsu had to be right – that couldn’t be anything but a signal. Too hot for a campfire, and built on stony open ground where no one could have found a place to sleep in any sort of comfort. Dry dead trees leaned here and there or lay flat, their roots exposed by the landslide, and fresh rain-cut gullies slashed the raw earth.

“I don’t see Magatsu watching for us.” He glanced from side to side and began a more cautious approach, paralleling the deepest gully. “That fire was lit less than half an hour ago. So where is...?”

“Getting more wood?”

“The bigger logs have barely caught yet. And...” He shifted his load as if preparing to drop it. His voice hardened.

“What?”

“We’re nowhere near the horses.”

A chill disturbed her, though she could feel the fire’s heat even from here. A trap, baited by the firelight? Rin felt for the hilt of her sword again. Weren’t there people looking for her disguised companion? What could she do to convince a bakufu spy that she wasn’t actually with Anotsu... other than trying to stab him in the back right now? That didn’t seem like the brightest idea she’d had today –

A dark figure vaulted from the gully beside them. Rin yelped and shrank towards Anotsu. He grasped her arm, knocked the lantern from her hand and shed the weapon bundle with a rattling crash of steel. Just as he laid hold of his sword, the man side-stepped him and grabbed for Rin. He seized her wrist and jerked her towards him.

She stumbled in a half-circle and opened her mouth to scream again, but the ambusher’s silhouette loomed black against the firelight. Broader shoulders than Anotsu’s – a well-marked profile – a spiky topknot.

“Manji-san!” She opened her arms and flew to him, sobbing in relief. “Oh... you frightened me!”

He smelled of smoke and pitch, and against her cheek his chest felt firm. He’d thrust his lone shido through his belt; the sleeve of the indigo kosode Anotsu had lent him covered the stump of his right arm. “Are you feeling better? Did you eat some more food? We found your – well, most of it – ”

A backlit aura of fire partly illuminated Manji’s face, but his expression was dark. He looked straight at Anotsu over Rin’s head. Taking her arm above the elbow with his good hand, he detached her hold, set her aside and took a deep raspy breath. She tried to embrace him again, but he turned to avoid her and held up his palm. He wanted to be ready to draw? No – Anotsu had recognized Manji even before Rin had, and his sword had never left the scabbard.

He turned his back on them and stooped, busying himself with the fallen lantern. Maybe he meant to give them a little privacy. Once more Rin grasped her bodyguard by the front of his clothing and buried her face in his chest. “Manji – b-big brother – ”

He shoved her away with a growl.

Rin’s face flamed; a burning prickle of near-nausea rushed up from her stomach to her throat, and the back of her mouth seemed bathed in acid. Manji didn’t want her to touch him? He didn’t want her? She stood back and stared at the dark ground, too stunned to think.

“Rin-dono is carrying what we could recover of your hand, and your severed tongue.” Anotsu made to lift the dropped bundles. “We’ve also brought – ”

Manji elbowed him aside to seize his weapons. He extracted his sheathed katana and wakizashi and immediately thrust the dai-sho pair side by side into his belt. With only one hand, he couldn’t tie the scabbard cords very well, but he set the hilts at an aggressive angle and rolled his shoulders back.

“I see that you are glad to, ah, fully arm yourself again.”

Manji grinned at Anotsu with his head cocked a little on one side and patted the hilts, as if acknowledging thanks for returning his possessions, but also emphasizing his ownership and the bushi’s distinction of twin swords. Then he bent and hoisted the remaining weapons without a sign of effort, slung them carelessly around his neck and walked up to the fire. He kicked the splayed-out ends of the long logs and the whole structure collapsed in a cascade of sparks. Broken apart and fallen to the damp earth, the roaring fire rapidly diminished to a scattered smoulder. Manji rolled over a few logs with his sandal to kill some of the remaining flames. Then he fanned smoke out of his face and pointed out past the open area with an unintelligible sound.

Out of Rin’s mazy shock and hurt, angry petulance crashed through. What was the big jerk doing, already recovering so much of his strength by himself? No tender nursing for HIM!

“That’s the way back to the others? Is Mado...?”

Manji gave a short grunt at Anotsu’s question, then drew a thumb across his throat and made a gesture like throwing a shovelful of dirt on a pile. “I... see.” Anotsu let out a tired sigh. Manji shrugged. He beckoned with his head and led them around the fire, down a short slope and back to the path.

-

“Hah!” Magatsu heaved Mado’s harpoon high over his head. With a hard thrust, he planted it deep into the earth at the side of the double grave, a pace to the left of Hebi’s sword. He tapped it to check if it would fall, and when it didn’t he dusted his hands and went to the tethered horses to rummage in the saddlebags.

Rin stared at the tidy pile of dirt for a few moments, whispered “Namu...” and glanced back at Manji.

Her bodyguard sat on a log with two fingers of his left hand stuck halfway down his throat; his bandage-wrapped right hand hung immobile in a sling over his chest. Rin cringed a little, remembering the look of utter disgust he’d given her when she showed him what she’d brought back from the clearing. All of them had participated in the complicated repair job. Anotsu had accomplished most of the actual re-assembly and bandaging, joint by joint, while Rin sat a few paces away, tearing long strips from a towel and handing Anotsu the wooden splints that Magatsu whittled at his direction. Manji himself supported the whole scaffolding with his good hand and raised and tilted it as necessary. She supposed nothing more could be done to encourage his healing, if that was going to happen at all.

Now Manji withdrew his hand from his mouth and experimentally stuck out his grafted tongue. It moved sluggishly from side to side and didn’t protrude very far. Manji creased his brows and closed his lips. Rin hugged her knees and huddled up in as small a ball as she could manage while sitting on the ground. It was getting cold, though no one else seemed to notice. She wished she had just stayed right by that oversized fire on the hilltop until it burned to coals.

Anotsu half-reclined on the mat, eyes shut. Although he’d been resting since they finished the splinting operation, he looked drawn and pale. Magatsu offered him a canteen for the third or fourth time and he shook his head to decline. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes and sat up with what seemed like a considerable effort. “Manji-san? Are you able to speak yet?”

“Rhhow...” said Manji, then made a face. “Hrr yrrh.”

“That’s perfect,” said Magatsu with deadpan sincerity. “Keep it just like that.”

“Fuuh uu, puh.” Manji replied with an obscene finger and a dry chuckle.

“At least it’s not as disabling as it might have been.” Anotsu smiled slightly and leaned back on his elbow again. Manji lifted a brow. “Ah, yes, you were unconscious at the time.” Anotsu’s smile grew a little broader, though he dropped his gaze. “According to Mado, your tongue was not the courtesan’s original target, but she apparently... reconsidered.” Manji looked perplexed for a moment, then opened his eye wide.

“Holy shit – she was going to chop THAT off?” Magatsu grinned with a queasy edge. “Pretty harsh, man. I mean, what could it ever have done to her?”

Manji threw Magatsu a just-try-me glare, then turned his gaze to Rin. His brows creased with a query. She gave a small, reluctant nod in confirmation and swallowed hard. The corners of Manji’s mouth pulled back: part relief, part a shiver of disgust. He started to shift his seat to cross his legs, thought better of it and straightened his back. He reached for his dirty, bloodied weapons and yanked out a sword at random, whipped it a couple of times through the air, then propped it against his knee and grimly wiped it down with a remnant of bandage rag.

“I meant to tell you... that your escaped tormentors are riding double. They won’t have gone very fast or far, especially not at night.” Manji gave an impatient shake of the head as if to say he knew that already. “However, Mado reported to me that they asked him what to do in case of serious trouble, and he advised them to aim for the border and leave Edo han. That’s their only chance now, I imagine.”

Manji showed his teeth and scraped another blade clean. A thrill tightened Rin’s muscles, almost in bloodlust: to see those two brought to ground and punished as they deserved. To let them escape seemed like the worst injustice of all.

“I doubt they will consider fleeing into the city or throwing themselves on the mercy of the authorities. There’s a huge reward posted for the return of the courtesan to her master, and Lord Tsukue is said to be almost crazed with fury. This matter has reached the ears of the Shogun. If the father wishes to retain his household and name – perhaps even his head – his errant son must not be allowed to escape punishment.”

“Um... what will they do to him if they catch him?”

“For such a conspicuous disgrace to his illustrious family? They will crucify him, Rin-dono. He’ll be slowly speared to death by eta and his body buried in a dunghill. Like a dog, not a samurai.” Anotsu didn’t seem either perturbed or pleased at the grisly prospect. “The only way for him to avoid public execution is to carry out seppuku... and neither his father nor the authorities are likely to allow him such an honor.”

Manji let out a rough, contemptuous laugh. Tsukue Ryonosuke finding the courage to cut his belly, even faced with far worse a death? Rin rolled her eyes. “What about... her?”

“Hnn?”

“O-Hama... the courtesan.” Rin involuntarily glanced at Manji as she said the name, and wished she hadn’t. The ugly distortion of his expression made her shiver, even though she felt a similar anger on his behalf. “What will happen to her if she’s caught?”

Anotsu yawned, as if a woman’s fate concerned him even less. “Oh, nothing much beyond the punishments of the brothel. A beating or two. They’ll add the costs of the reward to her purchase debt, and she’ll warm men’s beds until her youth is gone... or she dies. What else awaits any woman of pleasure?”

“That’s all?” Even as Rin scoffed with indignation, shame edged into her mind. She had reason to want to see that woman suffer, didn’t she? Of course she did, but revenge was only revenge, no matter how great the provocation... such as one woman demanding another’s violation. She clenched her lips together.

Anotsu addressed Manji again. “They will need to get back over the river again if they want to bypass the border checkpoints to the north. So for greatest speed, I’d say they’ll retreat along their original route and stay on the road for some distance before they strike into the woods. Perhaps five or six ri, if sunrise doesn’t catch them.”

Manji grunted and slid his chained sickles into his sleeve.

“But it’s possible that they’ll want to stop to rest long before that... if they aren’t afraid of immediate pursuit. Do you think that they will believe themselves safe enough to halt tonight?” Manji slowly shook his head while chipping the crusted blood from his hooked knife with one thumbnail. “Ah... I see.”

“Speaking of which, we oughta go bed down, danna. It’s near midnight.” Magatsu rolled up a mat and packed a few items into the saddlebags. “I’ve fed the horses, but down here you’ve got to drop a bucket from the bridge to get at the stream. I gave them a little drink, but it’ll be easier to water them at the spring up top.”

“Yes, of course.” Anotsu began to get to his feet, and Magatsu quickly put an arm around him to help. His solicitousness struck Rin; the lantern light was dim and shadowy, but the expression on Magatsu’s face looked nearly tender. Anotsu leaned on him and addressed Manji. “The temple at the top of this path is abandoned, but the buildings are still roofed. There’s plenty of room for all... if you choose to spend the night and take up your pursuit in the morning.” He paused when Manji gave him a narrow look. “It’s possible that your quarry may escape, of course. If they know that you are alive and able to chase them... they may stop for nothing.”

Manji rolled his head back, scanned the sky as if checking the weather, then sprang to his feet. He had stowed all his weapons under the borrowed kosode, and he snapped his fingers at Rin. She had dropped into a half-doze, but awkwardly rubbed her eyes and got up. “Manji-san?”

He headed down the path away from the bridge and tori gate with a rapid stride, not even taking a lantern with him. Rin gasped and ran a few steps after him, then stopped and called. “Manji-san! Please – couldn’t we – ”

He stamped a foot and turned around to glare at her. “Hoh.”

“No? But... oh, God, I’m so tired...” She sagged and hung her head, unhappily close to tears. “Please?”

“Fuukii shii, uumaah!” She flinched at his half-articulate impatience. Manji snarled and spat in obvious frustration. “Hrow!”

Rin followed him, trembling and stumbling in her tattered tabi. What did he think he was going to do? How far did he think they’d be able to go like this? Was he really as healed as he made out, after having lost all that blood? He’d eaten and drunk, he’d rested a while – but she knew that his resources couldn’t be deep. And his right hand was still useless!

Behind her, Anotsu spoke low to Magatsu, who responded in a discontented tone. Both men untied their horses and mounted, still talking. Rin rounded a curve in the path, practically feeling her way with her now exquisitely sore feet. She could hear Manji’s footsteps ahead of her, but he was invisible.

Slow hoofbeats moved up behind her; one rider had followed. Rin stopped and turned in the path, seeing only the glow of a lantern at first. She didn’t have to wonder which man it was. When Anotsu drew closer, he leaned from the saddle to hand her the lantern. She accepted it, not able to speak in thanks.

Manji came stalking back into the circle of light, giving Anotsu an irritated snort and not sparing Rin. “Cuum hohh!”

“I understand that this touches your honor.” Anotsu swung his leg over the back of the saddle and dismounted. “In your place, perhaps I wouldn’t delay either... so if you insist on pursuing them now, please accept one more loan.” He held out the braided reins.

“Haah?” Manji shot Anotsu an incredulous frown.

“I’m not going much farther tonight, so I don’t need to ride.” Anotsu offered the reins again. “Mounted, you’ll find them that much sooner.”

Manji stared at him a moment longer, then eyed the horse. He seemed uneasy, though whether at the loan or the idea of riding wasn’t entirely clear. He scratched the back of his head and made a face.

“Oh! Manji-san, doesn’t that make sense?” Rin held out her hands in entreaty. “You’ll be much better off riding! Please say yes!”

An odd twinge disturbed Manji's features when he looked at her, the first time he’d given her any impression of personal emotion since her return. Before she could read anything into it, his face hardened again.

Magatsu rode up and dismounted as well. “No, danna, give him my horse instead. I can walk – but you’re riding.” He bunched up his reins, stuck them in Manji’s hand without waiting for an answer and helped Anotsu to climb back into his own saddle.

Manji shrugged, wrapped the reins around his wrist and took hold of the horse’s bridle when it tossed its head, then looked sideways at Anotsu. “Rhhdurr?”

“How shall you return the horse? You’ll probably catch your quarry before they reach the river, and...” Anotsu smiled faintly while Magatsu redistributed the contents of the saddlebags. With a motion of the head, he indicated that one or two of the bundles should remain with the loaned horse, and Magatsu obeyed the unspoken command. “Leave the animal with the monks at the Hasu-ji. That should be on your way.”

Manji adjusted his swords and tucked the hem of his kosode into his belt. He put a foot in the steel stirrup cup and swung himself into the saddle, favoring his bad arm. The horse stepped back and forth and tossed its head again while he settled his weight. Rin stood back; she was a little afraid of horses, never having had much to do with them. Her father hadn’t owned one because of the expense. Manji seemed to know what he was doing in the saddle, though he’d said he disliked riding drills. He tightened the reins when the horse kept making skittish movements, and glanced Rin’s way when the animal stood still.

“Uh... what do I do?”

He pointed at his foot in the near stirrup, then at the horse’s hindquarters behind the saddle’s high wooden cantle. He wrapped the reins around his right elbow and held out his left hand. Rin bit her lips and slung her bag and sword across her back. Manji pointed at the lantern; she found a strap and secured it to the wide stirrup flap in front of his leg. Then she reached up, preparing to step on his foot and make the leap. The horse’s hip rose higher than her shoulder and she had to clear the bulky saddlebags as well – this might not be easy. Maybe she ought to hitch up her clothing and ride astride like Manji instead of sitting sidesaddle? She felt shy of doing that in front of the other men.

Before her fingers touched Manji’s, Anotsu spoke again. “Riding single would be much less hazardous, as well as faster... and I will pledge myself for her safety.”

Magatsu drew a hissing breath and locked his gaze on the ground. Rin goggled at Anotsu open-mouthed, then gazed up at Manji in half-frightened anticipation. He’d be absolutely furious, wouldn’t he? At the mere suggestion! He’d seize her and throw her across the saddle like a sack, and gallop off into the night –

To her astonishment, Manji didn’t immediately refuse the offer. His lips compressed and he looked down the dark path; his shoulders rose and fell with a slow, hard breath. He chewed his jaw a few times, back and forth. Then he glanced down at Rin, who returned the look with wide, stunned eyes. Manji’s expression softened again; he seemed to apologize a little, as if he conceded that he’d demanded too much of her. His vengeful imperative might not brook more delay, but her welfare was still his responsibility. He looked around at Anotsu and slowly back at Rin. A tilt of the head and a twitch of both brows: he was asking her what she wanted to do.

He would trust Anotsu with her? After all his suspicions, his possessiveness and jealousy? Rin’s stomach turned over – he didn’t even mean to fight to keep her? Anotsu waited with an air of strategic patience; he wasn’t going to press the point. But no matter if it made common sense for her to stay behind while Manji carried out his task: she would still prove to everyone present – to the world – that she had renounced her bodyguard’s protection for that of another man. For Anotsu Kagehisa!

Maybe, if she gave in to fatigue and convenience, Manji would consider that her final answer. She was only a irritant and a burden to him at this point; his whole manner made that plain. So he might even be glad that she had given him so clear a directive...

Rin’s lips quivered; she lowered her head to avoid meeting the three men’s scrutiny, afraid she would lose control of her tears. She’d wanted to make her own choices, hadn’t she? The others at least allowed her that much credit, as a woman able to decide for herself rather than a child to be led. So she had better live up to those adult expectations, and not break down like a baby.

Manji kept his gaze on her but remained silent, probably unwilling to try to make himself understood. Anotsu sat relaxed on his mount, eyes politely lowered, but with one finger tapping his knuckles as he kept his hands folded on the pommel before him.

Magatsu Taito stood a few paces behind her, his fist clamped on the hilt of his broadsword. Through the air or the earth, Rin sensed the irregular tremors in his body. Whatever for? Ever since he’d arrived, Magatsu had behaved as if he despised this whole enterprise. Still, he’d done everything his danna required of him. Even if he grudged Manji and Rin every moment of attention or assistance, Anotsu’s proposal hadn’t actually surprised him. Unwillingly drawn as if by his nervous energy, Rin turned her head and tentatively met Magatsu’s eyes.

The lantern he held shone full on his face. Until today she’d seen him only briefly without his black mask, and now she had some idea why he liked to cover his expression. He was younger than she’d realized, even younger than Anotsu, with a spare and open clarity to his features that betrayed his feelings too well. Samurai stoicism wasn’t his birthright nor his aspiration – he’d taken up the sword for different reasons entirely. The undisguised contempt in Magatsu’s face stiffened Rin’s spine.

Her, Asano Rin. Her presence angered him even more than his friend’s death at Manji’s hands. She was her parents’ child, heir to a samurai house – he hated what she stood for, he hated that Anotsu took trouble for her safety. Maybe he thought it would have been better just to throw her a dagger! Rin raised her chin and tried to stare him down.

Magatsu’s narrow lips parted and drew back from his teeth. Another color than caste resentment tinged his dislike, something murkier and more personal that she couldn’t entirely make out. He could do nothing about it, perhaps didn’t even want to make it out himself. But she threatened his most precious and guarded treasures, and he would wish her dead before he would admit exactly how she blocked his path.

Both Manji and Anotsu shifted their seats as they took notice of the silent confrontation. Rin’s heart took a deep lurch; her balance felt precarious. Though Magatsu seemed emotional too, more weighed on the scales here than her feelings or anyone else’s. In that sense, Anotsu knew what he was talking about...

Manji looked away from the group; the horse he sat began to paw the earth and toss its head again as if it sensed the disturbance in the air.

“Rii,” he said. Even on so short an utterance, his voice cracked. “I odda...” He grimaced and worked his mouth for a moment, then spat over the horse’s neck and spoke again. “I... godda... go.”

“Do you... want me to come with you, Manji-san?”

A flash of something like fear crossed his face. His cool reserve melted, replaced by confusion. He didn’t want to answer any such question, but Rin suddenly realized why he had pushed her away, and why he had already half decided to leave her with Anotsu. Shame and longing filled his expression all at once; he’d tried too hard to hold himself back, and he’d lost his over-tight grip on his emotions. For a moment Rin saw almost everything she could have wanted in Manji’s face, and she wished she had never asked for anything at all. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to touch him – he harbored an ineradicable desire for her embrace and her willing body. But the pain of that desire: he didn’t want his hands touching her.

She’d heard Anotsu’s quiet, reasonable voice in her ear all along the forest paths, persuading her she could only do her beloved Manji irrecoverable harm. What had Manji listened to while he lay mute in the dark? While he fretted over her long absence, then restlessly dragged logs over stones and built his beacon fire? No voice other than his own.

He wasn't fit to keep her, not even as her protector. His own crimes had exposed her to danger, just as Anotsu had said, and he had let petty resentment draw him into an unforgivable error of omission. Going with him now was her worst possible choice, if her comfort and safety meant anything at all. And in the end, she probably doomed herself to suffer his ultimate loss of control.

Rin took a backwards step, her mouth open. So she shouldn’t force herself on him? If his doubts were so strong and his guilt tormented him so, maybe separation was best after all. Didn’t that solve so many problems on both sides? How simple, how straightforward, to part all knots with one cruel stroke...

Manji’s expression closed down as he watched her face. Rin flushed and dropped her gaze, then realized what message she had just conveyed and frantically tried to catch his eye again. Too late...

“Gonna... hol ya t’ tha, Anotsu.” Manji wheeled his horse around with an abrupt tug on the reins and pointed with his chin. “Shee ya.”

“Manji-san!” He ignored her. Anotsu bowed in farewell; he turned his head away from Rin, but she caught the smooth curve of his cheek stretching in a closed-lipped smile. Yes, he’d take perfect care of her. As if she were his own.

Rin sagged and covered her eyes; she couldn’t watch Manji leave. He took so much of her with him: perhaps never to return. Of course his quarry posed no real threat, even crippled as he was, but maybe she was going to start blubbering after all...

Someone jostled her so hard that she stumbled; her eyes popped open. Magatsu! He shoved Rin out of his way and jumped to catch Manji’s bridle just as the horse started forward.

“Hey! Idiod!” Manji rocked in the saddle and braced his forearm on the horse’s neck. “Whadda hehl?”

“What the hell are YOU doing, man? You can’t leave your little girlie here!”

“Her safety – ” cut in Anotsu.

“You’re nuts!” Beads of sweat ran down Magatsu’s heated face. “Safe? Don’t you remember?”

Manji scowled and jerked his head back, fighting the horse. “Hah?”

“All the way to Ueno, you stupid bastard! Why did you bitch and moan until I wanted to crack your skull? Because your woman ran off without you. Why did you hustle us so goddamn fast and never take a rest? So you could find her and get her back safe. Well, you got her now, man. Take her!” He gave a tense force to the word that left no doubt what he meant; Manji’s frown deepened and Anotsu’s shoulders went stiff. Rin’s heart gave a great thump and she hid her flushed cheeks. “You’re both samurai, right? You fucking deserve each other!”

Anotsu’s lips whitened. He struck his hip and leaned forward in the saddle. “Taito – !”

“Fuck it.” Magatsu let go of Manji’s bridle, spun around and seized Rin by the elbows. She gasped when he yanked her to him, sprawling against his tough, wiry body. He gripped her around the waist, bent his knees and heaved. Rin flew upwards and landed hard on the horse’s hindquarters, panting with surprise.

Manji automatically reached out to steady her, then wrenched his arm from her grasp so he could control the reins. The startled horse side-skipped and stung her face with a swish of its tail. The saddlebags and the fringed harness around the horse’s broad hindquarters saved her from tumbling off, but just barely. So high above the ground! A fall would surely break her neck! Anotsu’s horse caught the other’s agitation and reared; he had to turn his attention to calming his mount.

In terror, Rin threw her arms around Manji’s waist. She got her knee wedged behind the saddle and her bottom planted square, arresting her slide. Manji lurched a little from her shifting weight, but she felt his legs clamp hard around the horse’s barrel like a mounted archer’s on the battlefield. Rin’s bag and sword twisted awkwardly and poked her in the stomach. She crouched lower to help Manji keep his balance and shoved at the sword to work it out from between their bodies. The tip of her scabbard swung around and jabbed into the horse’s underbelly; the end of her long sleeve slipped free and fluttered out.

The horse gave a panicked snort, rolled its eyes and plunged forward. Magatsu whooped and chased it for a few strides as if to encourage it to keep going. Manji yelled and hauled on the reins until his half-healed voice choked on curses, but the horse galloped down the path in full bolt. Anotsu’s mount tried to follow, whinnying to its companion, but he spoke harshly to it and held it back.

Terrified and roughly jolted, sure that they would be thrown at any second, Rin squeezed her eyes shut and clung to her bodyguard, trying to lean and roll to stay with him and the horse. Encumbered with her and one-handed, Manji could do little more than hang on.

Carried away with him into the darkness, Rin pressed her sweating face against Manji’s ribs as he labored to pull the wild ride back under his control, and tried in vain to count the hammering beats of his heart.


Continued...