Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ 30Kisses ❯ Practical Jokers ( Chapter 20 )

 

Of course, it was all Renji's fault.

 

It started before the wedding. Byakuya, Rukia and Renji were in the 6th Division offices. Byakuya was finishing some last minute paperwork and making arrangements for Renji to have control of 6th Division while Byakuya and Rukia were on their honeymoon. Rukia had made some off-hand comment that had attracted the red-head's attention.

 

"Wait, are you still going to call him 'Niisama' after the two of you are married?" The 6th Division lieutenant looked a little green about the gills.

 

Rukia was about to exclaim, 'Of course not!' but then something changed her mind. Instead she smiled very sweetly and said, "But we were siblings before we fell in love. It would feel very strange if I called him just Byakuya."

 

Renji could have sworn she was sparkling. He stuttered and mumbled, then turned to his captain to back him up. "Um, you think this is a little weird, don't you sir?"

 

Byakuya merely gave him a condescending glance. "I deem it most appropriate."

 

Renji quickly excused himself. He never could tell if the two siblings were serious or joking.

 

"I suppose," said Hitsugay. "It was too much to expect that any Division, even the 6th, takes its duties completely seriously." Behind him, Matsumoto cheerfully toasted them with a bottle of sake.

 

"Well, that will make for a kinky honeymoon."

 

"Sir, what the Kuchikis choose to call each other in the privacy of their own home is none of your business. And could you please sign these forms <i>before</i> you take a nap? The deadline for the Division's extra budget requests is today."

 

"But Nanao-chan, I'd love for you to call me Daddy while I-"

 

SMACK!

 

"So they're not really siblings though, right?"

 

"Right," Ikkaku was attempting to explain why so many people were freaking out about the Kuchikis recent behavior. "But she's calling him that even after she found out the truth so-"

 

"If they weren't getting married would any one care?"

 

"Well, no, I mean, she has been calling him that for fifty years. Everyone would understand it's just a habit."

 

"So what's different?"

 

"Because they are getting married. It's like, if you were marrying . . ." The bald man cast about for an appropriate example. "Yachiru, would you still refer to her as your daughter?"

 

A single burning eye focused on the Third Seat. "One, Yachiru isn't my daughter. Two, you have a sick mind. Now get out of here."

 

Ikkaku got.

 

"Still," mused Kenpachi to himself. "It's nice to see that those stuck up prigs do have a sense of humor."

 

But to be fair, it was Byakuya who took it a step further.

 

He was sitting with Ukitate, Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryusai and Sasakibe, arranging for Rukia to participate in the next 13th Division officer seating competitions. The joke was starting to get around, although plenty of people still twitched when Rukia talked about her wonderful Niisama.

 

So when Ukitate asked if Byakuya was sure he wanted to allow Rukia to take a seat, he was a little startled by his answer.

 

"Ah, excuse me, but could you repeat that?"

 

With a perfectly straight face, Byakuya replied, "I have full confidence that my darling Imouto-chan will uphold the family honor perfectly."

 

Sasakibe went as green as Renji had, Yamamoto's eyebrow shot up like a cork out of a bottle of cheap sparkling wine and Ukitate tried to cover up his laughter with a coughing fit.

 

Naturally, the residents of Karakura were the least surprised. Ishida hmphed, Chad was . . . Chad, and Orihime squealed about how cute it was and how she wished her brother was still around so she could call him her husband.

 

And Ichigo?

 

"Yeah, that sounds like Rukia alright. And of course Byakuya would play along. He draws just like her, why wouldn't he have the same sense of humor?"