Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Adequacy ❯ 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Adequacy

By: Aya

Disclaimers don't make fanfiction particularly legal, so I'm not going to bother.

 

It was really all Renji's fault. He has not, is not, and will never be, good enough. First of all, even as a child he was the lowest of the low. Second, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop his friends from dying. Third, he couldn't make Rukia happy. Oh no. It had to be Kuchiki fucking taichou to do that, accept her into the clan, give her opportunities Renji could never, ever provide. Luxury, for one. And social standing, for another. Rukia was not the lowest of the low anymore. Now, she was near the top.

Renji was stronger than Rukia. When they were children it was the opposite way around, but he had worked like a madman once she decided to join the Kuchiki clan. In the end, he had become a lieutenant, and she a regular-level Soul Reaper. Still, it wasn't enough. He had never once defeated his captain. His taichou was simply on a whole other level. It was like the difference between a rock and a mountain.

And so, he wasn't good enough. He couldn't save Rukia from death row. Renji could never hope to defeat his taichou in a fair battle, and he didn't have the social standing to object to the level of her punishment.

He had helped take Rukia back to Soul Society, had even planned to kill Kurosaki Ichigo for leeching her power. Because of him, she couldn't even bruise a hollow, couldn't even live against an attack. Renji hated Kurosaki Ichigo. The stupid human had taken away her livelihood. How could she dare show her face in Soul Society now? How could she ever get home?

Renji hated Ichigo for what he had done, wanted to strew his guts all over Soul Society as a warning to anyone who dared to even think about hurting Kuchiki Rukia. Renji had long ago gotten tired of failing to save his friends -his family, really. She would be free of Ichigo. She would regain her powers. There were people who hadn't even heard of Rukia, but even so, she would still be respected. Complete strangers would still defer to her. She was a Kuchiki, damn it. So for her own good, he had helped his taichou take Rukia back.

Not only was he not good enough, He wasn't smart enough, either. Renji was wrong. About everything. Rukia actually liked Ichigo. She liked being on Earth, liked discovering what it was to live. Taking her back had not helped her in the slightest bit. In fact, she had been both happier and safer on Earth. Still, by the time of their battle, his hatred of Ichigo had not diminished.

He had lost to Ichigo in a fair battle. For all his years of experience, he had been laid low by a mere human. A small part of him was glad, though. Renji doubted Ichigo had even the slightest inkling of his true potential. He could only dream of pounding Kuchiki taichou into the floor, but Ichigo could actually do it. More importantly, he could save Rukia. And so Renji had cast away the last of his pride, and begged for the first time in his life. Not only had he begged someone to do something he desperately wanted to do himself, he had begged a teenager. In the end, he had recognized that his opponent was better than him in each and every way. The most he could hope for was to be able to see his captain's face when the human defeated him.

Renji wasn't smart enough. He wasn't strong enough. But he'd let himself be destroyed before letting it be said he was incapable of improvement. When his wounds healed, he had a feeling he'd be training like a madman again. However, he would not be near Rukia. It was possible he would never see her precious face again. Ichigo would return her to earth and make sure all charges against her were dropped. Since the human had attained his own power, she would slowly regain hers. Rukia simply didn't need him anymore. And obviously, she was happier without him in her life. She had outgrown him long ago. He was just too fucking blind to realize it. Their parting had not been a good one, and that, too, was his fault.

All he could do now was train long and hard and hope against hope that someday, somehow, Abarai Renji would be worthy. That he would be enough.

 

 

I know this piece had no dialogue and no plot. But please review and tell me if you liked it anyway. Maybe one day I'll actually write a real story.