Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Banishing Nightmares ❯ Banishing Nightmares ( One-Shot )

Title: Banishing Nightmares

Author: blue_crystal_9

Rating: PG

Fandom: Bleach

Characters/Pairing: Hitsugaya/Hinamori

Summary: Hinamori has yet another nightmare about Aizen and Hitsugaya goes to comfort her. Comfort!fic.

Warnings: Eh, some mild swearing. And angst. Lots and lots of angst.

Spoilers: Spoilers for episodes 60 to 62.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Tite Kubo does. Nor do I own the little excerpt from the song “Everything” at the beginning of the fic. That song is owned by Buckcherry and not me. I am not gaining any profit from this; I am using it for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Note: *sighs* I write one humorous fic, and then I'm back to angst. Apparently, that's all I can write. *headdesk* I'm going to try to write more humorous fics, I really am. This idea just came to me though…and I had to write it or endure the wrath of the plot bunnies. ;) Oh, and I believe this takes place sometime after the Arrancar arc, but there aren't any spoilers for it. This is also posted on my account on FanFiction.Net and LiveJournal.

 

 

 

Banishing Nightmares

 

 

 

Buried way beneath the sheets,

I think she's having a meltdown.

Finding it hard to fall asleep,

She won't let anyone help her.

The look on her face, a waste of time.

She won't let go, gonna roll the dice.

Losing her grace, starts to cry.

I feel her pain when I look in her eyes.

 

Everything by Buckcherry

 

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

 

Hitsugaya was awakened from the blessed silence of sleep by a knock on his door. Matsumoto's voice filtered through the wood, “Hitsugaya-taicho?”

 

Hitsugaya sighed tiredly. It'd better be something important, to wake him up in the middle of the night. He wasn't getting enough sleep as it is without his annoying vice captain waking him up at all hours of the night. “What is it, Matsumoto?” He mumbled exhaustedly.

 

“I just received a hell butterfly from Unohana-taicho. It's about Hinamori-” As soon as he heard that, he was out of his bed and flinging open the door. Matsumoto jumped in surprise at his sudden appearance and would have laughed at his sleep-tousled hair and rumbled robes if there hadn't been panic in his green eyes.

 

“What is it?!” He said frantically. “What's wrong with her?!”

 

“There's nothing wrong exactly, taicho.” Matsumoto said reassuringly and Hitsugaya relaxed, but only slightly. “It's just that…apparently she had another nightmare, except this one was…worst than the others. She's been freaking out and Unohana wants you to come to the fourth division and see if you could calm her down.”

 

Another nightmare. Damn Aizen. Hitsugaya sighed. “Alright, I'll go.”

 

Matsumoto nodded, and then yawned. “Okay then. Well, I'm going to go back to bed, unless you needed anything…?”

 

“No, that's fine. You can go back to bed.”

 

“Thanks, taicho. G'night.” And with a weary smile, Matsumoto stumbled sleepily down the hall to her room.

 

Hitsugaya hurriedly changed out of his sleep wear and into his shinigami uniform and captain's haori. He quickly ran a hand through his hair to flatten down some of the more unruly spikes and then shunpoed to the fourth division.

 

When he arrived at the entrance to the fourth division, Unohana-taicho was waiting for him. She smiled her usual, patient smile at him. “I'm sorry to have woken you at such an early hour Hitsugaya-taicho, but I would rather not give her more drugs just to calm her down unless it was absolutely necessary.”

 

Hitsugaya nodded. “I understand. It's perfectly fine.” As they began walking toward Hinamori's room, Hitsugaya spoke again. “Another nightmare?”

 

Unohana nodded, a small frown gracing her features. “They seem to be more and more frequent and worst each time.”

 

“About…Aizen?” He spat out the word as though it were poison.

 

“Hmm, apparently. She wouldn't say much about it though, so I don't know what occurred in her dream. But perhaps, since you two are close she may tell you.” They reached Hinamori's room and Unohana turned to look at Hitsugaya. “Hitsugaya-taicho, may I speak frankly?”

 

Hitsugaya blinked, surprised. “Certainly.”

 

“I am beginning to become extremely concerned for Hinamori-fuku taicho. She's made progress in healing physically, but mentally…there is much room for improvement. If these dreams keep continuing…I am afraid for her mental well being. If we cannot pull her out of this and she continues to decline, we may just lose her. After all, it is not entirely impossible to die of a broken heart.” And with a final, pointed look at Hitsugaya, Unohana left in a whirl of her captain's haori.

 

Hitsugaya watched her float down the hallway, a frozen, choked expression on his face. He stood there until Unohana had disappeared from his line of sight.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

 

Hitsugaya entered to see Kotetsu-fuku taicho crouched down beside Hinamori's bed. All he could see of her was a tiny, shaking, sobbing form curled up in blankets. The fourth vice captain was murmuring something to Hinamori but when Hitsugaya came into the room, she stood up and bowed. “I'll leave this to you, Hitsugaya-taicho.” She said quietly and left the room.

 

Hitsugaya walked over to Hinamori's bed and looked down at her. She had her face buried in a pillow and was sobbing her heart out.

 

Damn Aizen. Damn him.

 

He sat on the edge of her bed and stroked a hand through her hair and then rubbed her back comfortingly. “Hinamori?” He murmured quietly.

 

“H-Hitsugaya-kun?” Was the muffled reply. She turned her head to look at him and Hitsugaya could see how overly bright and red-ringed her eyes were from crying.

 

“What can I do?” He asked, slightly awkward.

 

She sat up a little more, not quite meeting his eyes. After a moment, she spoke. “Can you just…hold me?” The words were frail, broken.

 

Oh, how he wanted to kill that vile bastard that had ripped her heart out.

 

“Of course.” Immediately Hinamori threw herself into his arms, sobbing even harder. He continued to rub her back while she sobbed, murmuring soft reassurances.

 

After her sobs had quieted somewhat, Hitsugaya spoke. “What did you dream about?”

 

An intake of breath, and then the subdued reply. “Aizen-taicho.”

 

After all that had happened and she still called him Aizen-taicho.

 

“What happened in your dream?” He prodded, but she was silent, her breathing still slightly erratic. Her heart was beating frantically. “Take a deep, slow breath.” He instructed and she complied. When her pulse had slowed down slightly he said softly, “Tell me, Hinamori.” Even though his tone was gentle, there was still an underlying tone of relentlessness, showing that he would not take no for an answer.

 

After a moment Hinamori said shakily, “I dreamt that Aizen-taicho came to me. He said…h-he said…” A soft sob tore from her throat, and Hitsugaya rubbed her back again. Once she had recovered herself, she continued. “He said that it had all been a dream, that he hadn't gone to Heuco Mundo and done all those things, and that everything would be alright now, and that I was…safe. And then he disappeared, and I couldn`t find him, no matter how hard I tried.” She started crying again and Hitsugaya had to use all his willpower to not let his reiatsu rise in his anger. He cursed Aizen again for the hundredth time.

 

When would she realize that she was safe with him?

 

Never, perhaps, if she stayed in this mindset.

 

Hinamori was slowly beginning to realize that Aizen was not the man she had thought she had known. She was still denying who he truly was, but there was doubt behind her eyes when she said it, and it was hurting her all the more. He had betrayed her in the worst kind of way, and it was killing her.

 

Hitsugaya noticed that Hinamori sobs had quieted down to sniffles. “Are you feeling better now?”

 

She nodded tiredly. He could see her crying jag had taken a toll on her; she looked exhausted.

 

“Good. Well then, I'll guess I'll go back to my own quarters, as you need to get some rest.”

 

He made a move to get up, but Hinamori clutched onto the edge of his captain's haori. “Stay.” She whispered, and he couldn't read the expression in her eyes in the dimness of the candlelight. “Please.”

 

How could he deny her anything when she spoke with that soft, unsure tone?

 

“Alright.” He answered, and lay down on the bed beside her. Suddenly she curled up beside him, laying her head on his chest. He stiffened for a moment, but then forced himself to relax. They hadn't been this close since they were children, and her proximately was freaking him out a little.

 

He curled his arm loosely around her waist and she snuggled a little closer. He could feel her shoulder blades through her robe, reminding him once again of how thin she had become. She was wasting away. He needed to remember to get her to eat something substantial in the morning.

 

He leaned over and blew out the candle so that the room was cloaked in darkness. Hinamori had fallen asleep; her breathing was slow and steady and she wasn't sniffling anymore.

 

How he hated to see her cry.

 

He didn't even remember falling asleep.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

Hitsugaya woke up a few hours later in the pale light of dawn. He looked over at Hinamori who hadn't even shifted an inch in her sleep; she was still curled up against him. He could see her face better now in the pale morning light and almost wished he couldn't. Her face was pale and drawn, with large purple circles under her eyes. She looked positively corpse-like. Hitsugaya didn't like it one bit.

 

It was too much like an omen.

 

What had happened to the rosy cheeked, smiling, bright eyed girl he'd grown up with? Had Aizen snatched that away too, along with her fragile heart and innocence? All she was now was a wisp of what the old Hinamori had been, a pale, fragmented shadow. Defeated.

 

God, how he wanted the old Hinamori back. He wanted her back so much it hurt.

 

He brushed a stray piece of her bang away from her face almost tenderly, and swore to himself that he wasn't going to allow her to stay like this. The old Hinamori was going to return, even if it took him an eternity of chasing away her nightmares.

 

He remembered what Unohana said earlier and his fist tightened so much that his knuckles turned white. “…we may just lose her.” She had said. No. He wouldn't allow it. He could not, would not lose her. For a world without Hinamori was like a world without the sun. It would just be unending blackness if…if he lost her.

 

But, looking at her tired, broken face and frail body, he was deeply, deeply afraid that that just might happen.

 

Hitsugaya clenched his jaw to choke back the sudden sob that wretched its way into his throat, and shut his eyes to prevent the tears that were forming from falling. He took an uneven breath, trying to control his breathing. In, out. In, out. His throat was burning.

 

He felt Hinamori stir but didn't move from his stiff position for fear that he would snap and start crying. Or screaming. Or both. His reiatsu must have woken her; he imagined it was flailing wildly in his current state of emotional imbalance. He was surprised Unohana hadn't busted in with her zanpaktou drawn, demanding to know what the hell was going on.

 

He could tell that Hinamori had seen the expression on his face because she spoke, her voice concerned, with a touch of fear. “Hitsugaya-kun? Hitsugaya-kun, what's wrong?” He wasn't going to say that nothing was wrong, that everything was fine. Because that would have been an utter lie, and Hitsugaya was tired of it all.

 

He forced himself to open his eyes. There must have been something desperate in his gaze because when Hinamori's anxious, brown eyes fixed on his, her eyes widened and she gasped quietly. “H-Hitsugaya-kun?”

 

He refused to let her wither and die. There was more to her than what Aizen had taken.

 

She squeaked when he suddenly yanked her towards him and crushed her to his chest. He leaned his head on her shoulder, his face buried in the crook of her neck. She seemed to be having trouble breathing; she was inhaling and exhaling in strangled gasps. Although, he wasn't really surprised that she was so shocked; hugging was and never had been his thing. It was rather unpredictable of him, really. “You're trembling.” She murmured and he realized that he was indeed shaking from suppressed emotion. He felt her rub his back, and would have laughed if he hadn't been so upset. She was the one comforting him now. How ironic.

 

“…we may just lose her.” Unohana's warning rang through his head again and he bit back another sob. Shut up, shut up!

 

“Hinamori.” He rasped out. “We'll get you through this, you'll recover. Don't…don't die on me.” His voice sounded strangled.

 

“I don't know if I can recover, Hitsugaya-kun.” Her voice was soft, laced with sadness.

 

He clamped his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

 

A while later, after Hitsugaya had managed to get his emotions under control with the ever-present wall of ice, both of them lay there silently, just thinking.

 

Hinamori broke the silence. “Hitsugaya-kun?”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Do…do you ever think of what it might have been like, if Ichimaru-taicho and Tousen-taicho hadn't betrayed the Soul Society and Aizen-taicho hadn't left?”

 

She was still saying left instead of betrayed.

 

“No.” He answered truthfully. “I do not.” However, he did think about what it would have been like if Hinamori had not been so ruthlessly affected by the abandonment from her good for nothing, black hearted ex-captain. He did think about her releasing herself from this depressed, black hole she was trapped in.

 

He did think about her smile, which was non-existent now, all the time.

 

He heard her sigh, but didn't look up. He knew what she was going to say. “Well, I do…so much.”

 

He heard the tremor in her voice and turned on his side to face her. “Well Hinamori, perhaps you shouldn't, if it hurts you so much.”

 

“I can't help it, it just happens.”

 

He sighed quietly. How was he supposed to help her, if she was unwilling to help herself?

 

“You need to distance yourself from this, Hinamori. Stop thinking about it. Otherwise, you won't get better.”

 

“I can't distance myself from it. I can't, Shiro-chan.”

 

“Yes, you can Hinamori. You just don't think you can-”

 

“You don't understand, Hitsugaya-kun. You just don't understand. You weren't the one who was left behind by-”

 

He snapped then. His voice was soft, an almost deadly calm despite the fury raging inside. “I don't understand? You think I don't understand? I've watched you slowly deteriorate to nothing over the past few months. I've watched you cry again and again. I've seen pain in your eyes far too much for my liking. Yes Hinamori, I understand, far better than you think.” He tried to keep the anger in reiatsu from showing, but apparently he hadn't succeeded, as Hinamori was even paler than she normally was. He headed stiffly towards the door, only to whip around and glare at her. “And for the thousandth time, do not call me Shiro-chan. It`s Hitsugaya-taicho.” And then he left, not looking back.

 

His heart ached.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

Hitsugaya was stopped on his way out of the captain's meeting by Unohana later that evening. “Hitsugaya-taicho, I was to inform you that Hinamori-fuku taicho would like to speak to you, if you have time.”

 

Hitsugaya blinked at her. “Alright. Thank you for telling me.”

 

She smiled at him. “Whatever you said to her, it must have worked because she seems to be in better spirits.”

 

…What?

 

Hitsugaya watched wide eyed as Unohana glided away, trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about. This morning Hinamori hadn't seemed better at all; how could she possibly have…? Shaking his head, Hitsugaya made his way to the fourth division.

 

When he walked in through the door of her room he spotted her sitting by the window, looking out at the setting sun.

 

“Hinamori, you wanted to see me?”

 

She turned around, and Hitsugaya had to choke back a gasp.

 

Unohana had been right, she was different. She was still slightly pale, tired and too thin, but there was now some color in her cheeks. She wasn't sitting in a slumped position anymore, and her eyes…they were brighter, somehow.

 

“Hello.” She murmured. “I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being so…well, you know. And that I'm going to try my hardest to get better.”

 

And then she smiled at him.

 

It wasn't a fake smile; Hinamori had always been terrible at lying. It was a genuine smile, one that he hadn't seen for so long.

 

In his state of shock, Hitsugaya was having trouble getting air in and out of his lungs.

 

“Good.” He managed to rasp out. “I'm glad.”

 

And then she hugged him. He stiffened again for only a second and then relaxed in her embrace. He patted her back and said quietly, “I'll be around, if you need to talk…or whatever. Anytime.”

 

“I know. Thank you for looking out for me.” And then she smiled at him again, and Hitsugaya had the sudden feeling that perhaps everything may eventually be alright.

 

She was finally starting to heal.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _____

 

AN2: I hope you enjoyed, and reviews would be great! :)