Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Beneath You ❯ Thoughts in Opacity ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Please do not sue; I have no money.

It's dark in here. You'd think that with my window open, more moonlight would come in. I hate the silence. It forces me to think about my problems. Problems that I wish would just go away. Or solve themselves; whichever is first.

See, the problem I have is that I'm in love with my captain, Jyuushiro Ukitake. Now, as his new lieutenant, Rukia Kuchiki, I do understand that this is not appropriate. But I can't just turn that off. For those of you who have been in or are currently in my situation, you know it doesn't work that way. I wish it did.

Everyday it gets harder for me to control my feelings for him. Believe me, it's not unbridled lust or anything like that. It's just that I respect him so much that how I feel about him mutated from innocent admiration and reverence to not-so-innocent, deep, heartfelt love. I don't know when it happened or if I had any idea it was happening. All I know is that one morning I woke, saw his beautiful face at breakfast in the eating quarters and a new feeling entered my heart. He bid me good morning with that dazzling smile of his, and I knew right then I would be his if he wanted so. I just knew.

Now, in the darkness of this room my heart and I crave for the light of the sun to shrink these shadows away into the recesses of my mind. I can never let him know that I love him, and while it doesn't seem fair, this burden can never be lifted from my shoulders. Not now.

Maybe one day I will be in a position where I can tell him, but it won't be soon. I have too much to do, time would not allow anyway. But someday he will know what my heart has been aching to say since that morning when I knew his cheerful voice and stunning smile.

Someday.


AN: There is the first chapter. Just a little introspective look at things, I guess. Keep reading and review if you want to.