Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Caged Flower ❯ Give Up (93) ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Give Up (93)

Author: Theablackthorn

Rating: NC-14

Pairing: Byakuya/Renji

Warnings: BL

Note: Part of my 100 Themes Challenge.

 

Renji walked through the halls of the sixth division heading for a small, secluded area at its heart. He had been so busy of late that he hadn't managed to get out to where he was headed, but now - finally - he could.

 

It was his day off and what a relief that was.

 

He felt like he had done nothing but work for months on end. Sighing in sheer relief, he thought about the day ahead of him, doing things he wished with no interruptions. He walked down one last hall, natural light seeping in through the paper covered shoji giving the interior a warm glow.

 

Renji sent his reiatsu questing out, not looking to run into anyone as he took care of one of his more, unusual hobbies. The red headed lieutenant couldn't feel anyone in the courtyard beyond and continued on his way towards the door a little further down.

 

He carried his warasaji in one hand, the straw of the sandal's scraping against his finger's as they swung with stride, his tabi making quiet swishing noises as he walked across the well trodden board's under his feet.

 

When he arrived at the door, he checked that he had everything he needed tucked into the cotton bag he carried, eye's searching through the small array of tool's and glancing over the variegated ivy that contrasted with the creamy cotton that was carefully nestled inside the bag.

 

Once his inspection was complete he reached out, finger's catching the polished wooden frame of the door and sliding it slowly open. The door was only open a matter of inch's before he looked out and froze in place, surprise clear on his face as his crimson eyes widened at the sight that greeted him. The one man he really didn't want to see today, was stood under the sakura blossom in the centre of the small courtyard.

 

A lone word left Renji's mouth on a dry whisper, “Taicho.”

The red head clapped a hand across his mouth and hoped the noble hadn't heard him. He shifted back into the shadow created by the canopy covering the open walkway beyond, which wrapped around the courtyard garden. He felt something tighten in his chest as he watched the brunet from his hiding place.

Byakuya hadn't noticed him, or hadn't turned to acknowledge his presence. Renji felt both relieved and bereft at the noble's apparent ignorance of his presence. The burning ache that followed the red head around everyday day intensified, tightening his throat and making his heart feel infinitely heavier.

Renji had hoped he wouldn't run into the Captain of the sixth today, the only day he would manage to have some time free of the noble. He didn't even realise his hand remained clamped over his lips, fingertips digging into the skin, a physical restraint against the need to speak, to scream, to just make the other man acknowledge his existence.

The need he had for Byakuya was a constant burn in his belly, an ache in his heart that went so deep he didn't believe he would ever be whole again. But he never spoke, never told the noble about those intensely private emotions. Choosing instead, to watch from the sideline's day after day.

Renji was not a weak man, he knew these emotions's well, and they were a constant plague to him.

What he knew was fact.

Kuchiki Byakuya was a noble, the head of the most prestigious noble house in Sereitei, a Captain of the Gotei Thirteen and above all else - straight as the driven snow. He had been married to a woman, though many years had passed since he had been widowed.

Renji was more than aware of his very masculine form and behaviour. What he wanted, needed, desired from his Taicho he would never have.

Renji felt a weight press down on his shoulders, though there was nothing truly there but the pressure of emptiness and loneliness, that was partly self inflicted. Every time the realisation hit, he couldn't help the deep echoing sadness that filled him, and the burden he chose to bare in silence.

If he told Byakuya what he wanted from him, he wouldn't be a member of the sixth for long. Renji had no doubt that the noble would put him down with great decorum, but he knew he wouldn't feel his feet touch the floor until he was being reassigned somewhere else, far from his division.

Renji had spent a great deal of his time thinking about this and had resolved himself to remain silent. He would bear the pain in his heart if it meant he could be close to the man he desired. He wasn't truly certain he would survive as a whole being if that was taken from him.

Renji looked out at the elusive figure, absorbing the sight of the regal frame, strands of rich umber blowing lightly in the breeze. He could see that his Captain held a single blooming cherry blossom in his open palm and, if only for an instant, he thought he saw a tiny smile tilt the normally tight-lipped mouth.

He sighed at his own silly fantasy.

Kuchiki-Taicho was not someone who smiled at a single cherry blossom. He was the regal and unwavering Captain of the sixth division after all.

Renji felt something twist and crack inside him, the pain was a wave of rippling agony that swamped him. He turned away from the almost genteel sight of his Captain, all thought's of tending to the small garden were instead buried by pain, sadness and a despairing loneliness that felt like it was wrenching his very soul asunder.

What Renji didn't see as he moved silently away down the corridor was the way Kuchiki Byakuya turned, eyes focusing on the door the lieutenant had stood behind. Sharp steel coloured eyes took in the partially opened door way and a frown dipped the smooth brow. Those eye's clouded over, his once open palm closing, finger's curling to form a cage around the tiny blossom that he had held so carefully.

The Captain of the sixth looked down at his hand, seeing the tiny flower captured by his slender finger's and a soft, almost inaudible sigh filtered through the tiny courtyard. His eye's lifted to the now empty corridor, feeling Abarai's reiatsu fade and sensing the strain's of discord within it.

He turned away from the feeling, carrying the tiny blossom with him and walking to the other doorway onto the courtyard. Slipping from his sandal's and stepping onto the platform, he walked though the partially open doorway, pausing to look back at the wash of bright colour's that filled every inch of the courtyard garden he had charged his fukutaicho to care for centuries ago.

The frown slipped away as he turned, his mask of indifference sliding back into place as the red head's name caressed from his lip's, “Renji.”