Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Terror ( Chapter 15 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine.

 

Warning: Writing this chapter made my chest ache. It's bitter and brutal and will probably be hard to read.

 

 

The Terror

 

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself; I was shivering and didn't know why. For a moment I wondered at his timely arrival; it seemed too opportune. Zaraki would not be happy seeing me look like this, but I wondered if he would he be pleased to see me. It didn't matter because I was overjoyed to see him. I ran toward him, wanting to be in his arms once more. He would take me away from here and I could find out if Yachiru had survived. I hoped she did because I didn't want anyone else to suffer on my behalf. The tall figure in front of me, turned toward me, gradually.

 

I faltered and slowed. He wasn't smiling at me; he gave no sign he was pleased to see me and his expression was severe, while he was holding himself rigid in an unfamiliar posture. So forbidding did he look, that I stopped running, and stood still, nervously waiting for him to speak. We looked at each other, silently, each expecting the other to start the conversation. Pleased as I was to see Zaraki, I felt terrible. My face ached from the slaps and my head throbbed, while my stomach, still unsettled by Gin's punches, suddenly began to churn, making me feel ill. It was as if it was reacting to something I couldn't see. The sensation reminded me of a well remembered terror, but I could not recognise the source of the fear.

 

“Where have you been, wife? Have you been playing with your lover, Gin? It must have got a little rough as I see you're marked?” The words sounded roughly like something Zaraki would say, but he didn't normally talk to me like that. Playing with Gin? That sounded wrong. Zaraki would have said something about screwing him and the anger in his voice would have been unmistakable. This person seemed extraordinarily calm.

 

“He's not my lover; we've already talked about that a few times. Why do you keep mentioning it? He's nothing to me. He means less than that bastard Aizen, who I hope rots in the depths of hell,” I answered automatically, watching him, trying to see if there was something I had overlooked. He looked like Zaraki, didn't he?

 

“Of course he's your lover, Ran. You're here, aren't you? He's here. To me it's obvious that you came with him willingly, despite all the things you said about loving me. You fucked me and all the time you were waiting to spread your legs for him. It was all a farce when you let me get inside you and pretend that I satisfied you. You wanted Gin all the time, didn't you? Why did I have to marry a lying bitch?” I flinched at the words. Even when he was furious with me the worst thing Zaraki had called me was a fool and a liar. He had never called me names and he was calling me Ran again. His eyes were not on my face, but seemed fixed on my cleavage.

 

The rising terror was making it hard for me to think rationally. I remembered my major concern, the thing that had been on my mind since Gin abducted me. “How's Yachiru?” I asked staying my distance. I could not judge if he was angry and that was odd. His moods had been easy to read back in the Seireitei. Even as I asked the question I wondered if this person in front of me even knew the answer.

 

“She's dead. She died trying to protect you. Are you happy now that my lieutenant is dead and you're here?” he continued ignoring my gasp. I started to cry. Hearing of her death distressed me and it was my fault. I'd never have the chance to become friends with her. I didn't know if it was the truth, but I had feared this answer. “Isn't that what you wanted, Ran? My friend is dead because of you. You're the cause of her death even though you didn't stab her. I'll never forgive you for that.” He still did not look me in the face as he replied and his attitude was detached. I would have expected to be subject to his hate filled glare by now, but he didn't raise his eyes.

 

Even while I thought there was something wrong, his words made my heart sink. As I continued to sob, my stomach became even more unsettled. I wondered if it was the news of her death that was causing this feeling. Zaraki did not move closer toward me, he stayed where he was, his expression impassive, and his stance inflexible.

 

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't want her to die. I didn't want anyone to die and I certainly didn't wish to come here. Please take me home,” I remained standing where I was, uncertain how he would react if I moved any nearer.

 

“I don't believe you, but that's not important now.” Zaraki seized me by the arm and dragged me through a nearby door into an empty bedroom. He started to undo my sash, tugging at it while I stood there not knowing what to do. The man looked like Zaraki, but he didn't talk like him. When he told me of Yachiru's death, he had seemed unmoved. Now I was closer to him I could inhale his scent, and he smelt slightly wrong. The reiatsu was strong, very strong, but it didn't feel like my husband. I felt no flicker of desire for the man attempting to undress me and Zaraki would have ripped my clothes off by now if he wanted sex. One other fact that kept irritating me was, even if Zaraki was furious with me I would have expected him to glare at me, not stare at my cleavage.

 

Testing a theory, I gingerly put my arms around him, scared to touch this person, but needing to judge his reaction. He stopped trying to undress me and pushed me away. His body was cold and did not warm me like Zaraki's. “I don't want that, I just want to fuck what's between your legs. Get your clothes off, whore and I might let you live. I see the bite is gone, I'll give you more, all over your body, to replace that one.”

 

I looked at him closely, trying to see Aizen under the exterior of Zaraki. It had to be him. He resembled Zaraki perfectly in the way he looked, but how could he hope to make me believe he was my husband? I knew Aizen's zanpaku-to had the power to take over the mind, but the feeling in my stomach had alerted me that something was wrong. He didn't speak like Zaraki, but like a bad actor who didn't know the lines or the character he was playing, and he'd rejected my embrace, something Zaraki had never done. Even in extreme anger he had permitted me to hold him. I remembered Gin was going to bind me and bring Aizen into the room. He might have been lurking in the corridor waiting for his chance, but why hadn't he come to help Gin?

 

“You don't have to do that, Kenpachi,” I said, using the name deliberately.

 

“How dare you contradict me? I am your husband and you will be quiet and do as I command,” the harsh voice addressed me.

 

I dropped my eyes to hide my sudden knowledge. “I'm so sorry Kenpachi. I didn't mean to question you.” If he thought I was submissive with Zaraki, I'd allow the farce to continue.

 

“Don't ever question me again, slut,” the man ordered me. “Lie down and spread your legs.”

 

My eyes darted around the room. Could I escape? If I lay on the bed this man would rape me and I never wanted him to touch me again.

 

A hand grasped my throat hard. “Why are you're hesitating. Why Ran? Do you enjoy it when I'm angry with you or aren't you scared of incurring my displeasure?'

 

I choked under the pressure of the fingers. It brought back memories of when Aizen had raped me and had kept a hand hard on my throat to prevent me screaming. At one point I had nearly lost consciousness and he released the force so I wouldn't escape into oblivion. He'd wanted me to experience the rape fully. His hand still on my throat he dragged me to the bed. I hit out at him, but he ignored me, increasing the pressure slightly. I had no breath for kido and I began to panic. Was I going to die first, or was he going to rape me then kill me, or worse keep me alive and keep raping me? For a moment he let go of my throat as he pulled at my shirt and hakama and I felt them give under his hand. I struggled and pushed at him, but I did not seem to be able to make contact. My head was throbbing and I struggled to regain my breath

 

“Get off me, Aizen, you bastard,” I yelled and tried to remember a kido while I brought my knee up. He avoided my futile attacks and tore at my clothes.

 

“So, you worked out I'm not Kenpachi, did you? I'm surprised. Gin told me you were stupid, but I think he underestimated you; maybe he always did. Do you remember the last time we fucked, Ran? It was good, wasn't it?” He said and then shattered the illusion. It was now Aizen holding me down, forcing my legs apart.

 

“That was rape and you know it. I'd never let you touch me if I had the choice,” I began, only stopping when he punched me in the eye and then grabbed me by the throat again squeezing tightly.

 

“It was just a fuck. Words like rape don't scare me, but I want you aware of everything. When I'm fucking you, I want you to know it, feel everything and fight against me, otherwise it's not entertaining,” he said as his fingers tightened even further.

 

The air in my lungs was giving out and I thought sadly of Zaraki. I hoped he would not hate me too much for dying.

 

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I tried to open my eyes but one was swollen shut. My throat hurt; it was hard to swallow and I couldn't move. I was naked, very cold, tied to a bed and my body was a mass of pain. My face ached, my stomach. I tried looking down and noticed bruises, bites and scratches defaced my body, little of the skin remaining unmarked.

 

“You're finally awake. Did you sleep well, Ran? You must be feeling refreshed because you've slept for a whole day. For a short time I thought you were dying which would have been a shame; it would have interfered badly with how I planned our reunion this time. Last time was a disappointment for me, and for you too I'm sure. I was going to get the girl to heal you, but Aizen decided that we'd see if you pleased us first. Oh, don't worry. I know you would have hated it if we had screwed you while you were asleep. We decided to wait until you were awake so you could enjoy it, but we had to do something to pass the time. I suggested that we give you a few bite marks because you seemed so upset to lose the one your loving husband gave you. It wasn't as pleasurable as I'd hoped, because you didn't react, no matter what we did. You are so lucky to have me here to care for you, I hope you appreciate it. By the way, I've changed my mind about marrying you. I don't marry pets and that is what you are. My little pet. If you're good I'll feed you and play with you. If you're not, I'll let everyone play with you,” his voice dropped and became hard. “I haven't forgotten your kind words when you left me tied up, Ran. I think you'll find size doesn't matter very soon. I used those bonds to tie you this time so you can't escape. Don't hope that your husband will come and rescue you; I don't think he cares that much.”

 

I tried to say something but only a harsh croak emerged from my throat.

 

“How amusing. You can't talk, poor little pet. Aizen became a little too enthusiastic when he was with you; you must have really excited him because he was furious when he came to free me. He said you passed out before he could get inside you and he tried to wake you up by hitting you, but you wouldn't rouse. So we had a talk and decided that when you woke up we'd fuck you at the same time. Aizen will be here shortly, but I may as well start enjoying myself now. You don't mind do you?”

 

My efforts to talk were ignored as Gin lay on me fully dressed his mouth on level with my chest. The pressure of his body on mine made me hurt so badly, the pain almost making me cry, but I refused to weep. He would want tears. He covered my nipple with his mouth and the contact between his mouth and my flesh made me feel nauseous and I retched, but he ignored me, suckling at me. A look of bliss crossed his face as he continued to pull on my nipple with his mouth. At one time I had thought it was sweet how much he liked sucking my breasts, but it was never for my pleasure. I felt his penis stir as he became more excited and I shut my eyes, trying to pretend it wasn't happening, trying to ignore the pain.

 

“This must be making you hot, is it Ran?” Gin asked. He pushed a hand between my legs and thrust a finger into me.

 

The movement awakened more pain and I tried to scream as his finger penetrated me. It hurt badly and I was so dry.

 

“You're not even slightly wet but it doesn't matter. I'll fuck you anyway. I wish Aizen would get here. I don't want to wait any longer.”

 

“Get away from my wife,” said a thunderous voice and for a moment my heart leapt as Zaraki came into the room.

 

Gin quickly got up, his smile wide but his attitude was guarded. Then he did a double-take and laughed. `You're really going to do it? You're going to screw her pretending to be Kenpachi?”

 

“Yeah, why not,” he said in a familiar growl. “It might make it a little more interesting if I'm fucking her up the arse while in the form of her husband.”

 

It was what I had feared. I swallowed hard and tried to clear my throat but they ignored me. Gin was untying my hands and I began to struggle, attempting to free myself, but I was too weak and moving hurt too much. He turned me onto my side and tied my hands to the bed again while Aizen tied one of my feet. Why had he left one foot free? Then it dawned on me. Kicking out, I managed to make contact with one of them but received a punch in my kidneys for my attempt at resistance.

 

“Can we get on with this? I don't want to wait anymore Aizen; sorry I mean Kenpachi.”

 

“Yeah. Let's do this.”

 

I heard the sounds of fabric being dropped to the floor as they undressed.

 

“You took your time getting here,” Gin complained.

 

“I'm here now. You were enjoying yourself anyway,”

 

“I brought some lube. You might just want to lube the head to make sure you can get in. She's going to be very tight, I know,” Gin offered.

 

My heart was pounding in my chest as the terror overwhelmed me. Zaraki wouldn't want me now, not ever again. He'd almost gone insane when he thought I'd fucked Gin and Aizen at the same time and now it was going to happen. Maybe I could anger them enough so that they would kill me soon and I would not have to live this way. I felt the bed dip as Gin settled in front of me and Aizen behind me the slight movement of the bed causing my body to stiffen in pain. I gasped silently as they pressed their bodies against me and felt their hands touch me. I tried to scream and I thrashed as much as I could despite the agony of moving, knowing that it was pointless, that there was no escape. Aizen put his hands on my buttocks as Gin parted me with his fingers. My body was racked with shudders as I anticipated the worst.

 

“Stop.”

 

I opened my good eye which was closest to the bed, wondering who had spoken. The command seemed to work and both Aizen and Gin froze. I was too scared to move, thinking I recognised the voice, but at the same time scared that it was another trick. I felt Zaraki's reiatsu and began to hope.

 

“Aizen, remove your hands or I'll cut them off and get off the bed, fast. I might cut your hands off anyway. Ikkaku, tie the bastard up, and make him stop pretending to be me. I'm almost inclined to stab him just to see what happens when he dies.”

 

“Why should I get up, Kenpachi? I'm going to fuck your wife. You can watch if you like, see what it looks like when you're screwing.”

 

As they spoke Gin had removed his hands, but was still pressing his body against mine, pushing his penis between my legs. I hated the feel of his skin on mine. At one time I would have been prepared for any indignity just to have him this near to me. Now I couldn't bear his touch.

 

I heard a hiss of anger and felt a rush of air pass me, followed by the sensation of hot liquid splashing on my back. The man behind me was dragged from the bed, squealing in outrage. “You can't do that to me.”

 

“Gag him. Knock him out. I thought that cutting him would be enough to make the fucker shut up,” fury resounded through Zaraki's voice. “There's no fun in just sticking a guy. I'd prefer to fight this useless traitor, because I don't think killing him will be enough.”

 

`You promised not to kill them,” a calm voice advised Zaraki.

 

“Retsu, I know I told the old man I'd bring them back alive, but you'll understand if I just kill them now. He doesn't know we're here, at least not yet, because we came early without permission. Let me kill them,” Zaraki demanded. I didn't know if he would listen to reason.

 

“Even if we are not officially here or meant to be here, you did make that promise, Zaraki,” Retsu reminded him. “They have to stand trial and be judged. A rushed execution here would achieve nothing and proper procedures should be followed.”

 

“But Retsu, they hurt her. They hurt my beloved Matsumoto. They took her away from me. Ichimaru tried to kill Yachiru. They don't deserve justice,” Zaraki sounded like he was losing his ability to restrain his temper.

 

I heard a loud thump and the sound of a body falling to the floor.

 

As Aizen was dragged off the bed, Gin was being hoisted away by Yumichika whose face was set in a mask of anger. There was a smudge of dirt on his face and his hair was not as smoothly arranged as normal. He refused to look at me, totally focused on the man he was removing from the bed.

 

“I think we managed to drive your husband over the edge, I've never heard him sound so weak; calling you `beloved'. He was close to going insane anyway. So sorry to disappoint you, Ran. I know you were looking forward to both of us screwing you. Don't worry, I'll repay you one day,” Gin murmured as he was pulled away from me. I heard another thump as a second body dropped. I started to panic again.

 

The bed dipped again and I tensed, scared that the attempt to rescue me had meant more deaths, but gentle hands undid the cords that tied my hands and then the cord that tied my leg. I rolled over onto my back, wincing at the pain I felt. Captain Unohana covered me with a sheet her face a picture of distress.

 

With my one good eye I glanced around and saw who was in the room. Zaraki was standing there, his zanpaku-to's tip pointed at an unconscious Aizen's throat, but his eyes were on me. I could see that he'd been fighting, there were cuts and marks on him, signs that he had fought hard. I scanned his face. Never before had I seen an expression there like the one I witnessed now. Rage, pain, fear and regret. I shut my eye. Regret. He didn't want me anymore. He'd seen me on the bed with two of the people he hated the most and that was the end of it.

 

`Lieutenant Rangiku, can you talk?” Captain Unohana asked quietly.

 

I opened my mouth trying to speak, but could only croak.

 

“Could you please take the prisoners and leave the room? I need to examine the Lieutenant. I'm worried about the damage that may have been done to her,” Captain Unohana said.

 

I heard footsteps and the sound of dragging as the room emptied.

 

“I'm staying Retsu. You can't make me leave,” Zaraki's voice said harshly.

 

“I wouldn't ask you to leave, Captain. I need you here to reassure your wife. I'm almost scared to touch her. Lieutenant, this may hurt, but I need to see how I can help you. Will you allow me to examine you?”

 

I nodded, my eyes still shut, not wishing to see the compassion on her face or the regret on Zaraki's.

 

She touched my eye. I jerked back from the pain of the contact. “This didn't happen today. It is bad if it's still this swollen.”

 

Her fingers gently touched the bruises on my cheeks and jaw line. She pulled the sheet down and I heard her gasp. “It looks like someone tried to strangle her and nearly succeeded.”

 

I felt the sheet pulled back and a hand grasped mine. At least my hand didn't hurt. Zaraki wouldn't be holding my hand because he would be too angry with me for not fighting back, for leaving him. He probably thought I'd been fucking them willingly even if I was tied up. I didn't know. I felt sad at hurting him again. It was nice of Captain Urahara to try to provide the reassurance by holding my hand as she examined me. Her hand was so warm and it made me feel like someone cared. She was so kind, but why was she kissing my hand? Did she like me that much?

 

“Her body is covered with bites and cuts. She has been punched, many times, in the chest, in the stomach, and a number of other places. All these injuries have occurred within the last day and have caused extensive damage. Zaraki, this is bad. She hasn't just been beaten, they did it in such a way as to cause as much pain and damage as possible.” Her voice shook as she continued listing my injuries as her hands continued to examine me. Her hands? Who was holding mine?

 

I opened my eye reluctantly to see Zaraki pressing my hand to his lips again. He looked shaken and angrier than I had ever seen him and he was watching Retsu not looking at me. My heart beat a little less painfully now I knew he was holding my hand.

 

I needed to ask something. It was important. I opened my mouth and tried to croak out one word. I heard a small sound and tried again to say “Yachiru?”

 

A startled look crossed Zaraki's face and he looked at me, wincing a little as he saw my face. “Yachiru? You look like you're dying and you want to know how Yachiru is? She's recovering. You must have distracted Ichimaru when he tried to kill her because he didn't hit any vital organs. She's eating plenty of sweets and is being well looked after and she insisted I come to get you back. She heard the conversation between you and Ichimaru when you were under the influence of the drugs and said she doesn't hate you anymore.” His voice was tired as he continued to hold my hand.

 

I felt a surge of relief at his words. I had not caused Yachiru's death. I almost smiled, but the muscles in my face weren't working too well.

 

“I need to get your wife back to the Seireitei as soon as possible. I'm worried about internal injuries which are very probable, considering the extensive bruising,' Captain Unohana said as briskly as she could.

 

“I'm not letting her out of my sight,” Zaraki said bluntly his hand squeezing mine painfully.

 

“One of my major concerns is how to get her back. I think I'll have to use my zanpaku-to to convey her or the pain will be too much.” I could hear an element of worry behind the steady tone the Captain was using.

 

Zaraki cleared his throat as if hesitating to ask the next question. “Retsu, did they…”

 

I wondered what he was driving at and I noticed Retsu was examining my sex. “No. No sign of intercourse. I think we must have interrupted them. That surprises me. I thought they would have raped her by now. Lieutenant, please drink this. It will soothe your throat and may make it possible to answer some questions.”

 

She lifted my head and held a cup at my mouth. I drank the contents greedily, feeling the liquid soothe the fire that was in my throat.

 

“They wanted me awake. I've been unconscious,” I rasped, trying to answer the unspoken question.

 

Comprehension dawned on Retsu's face. “You mean you'd just become conscious and they were both going to take you? While you were like this?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Those pricks have to die,” Zaraki yelled.

 

“Calm down, Zaraki. You're making this more difficult and you're upsetting Lieutenant Rangiku,” Retsu was giving me an injection of some kind. I didn't even feel the sting of the needle.

 

Zaraki was trying to embrace me and I whimpered as my body was moved. I wanted him to hold me, I wanted him close to me, but the pain made me cry. Their voices were becoming fainter. Were they moving away?

 

“Please, be careful, Zaraki. If you hold her like that you may hurt her even more. We shouldn't be having this discussion now. I'm taking her back to 4th Division; don't even begin to argue. In matters of health I have the final say.” The firmness in Captain Unohana's voice brooked no refusal.

 

“Whatever. I'm going with her. I want her back in my arms again. I didn't know I could miss holding someone,” Zaraki said, holding my hand, but I couldn't feel it too well.

 

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A pair of lips were pressed against mine. I struggled against the contact, loathing the feeling of anyone being close to me. I couldn't bear the touch of anyone. Gin hated me, Aizen had raped me, I was worthless and I wanted to die. If anyone touched me it meant they would be contaminated by their contact with me. If only Gin had loved me in return, then none of this would have happened.

 

“Matsumoto, open your eyes. Please, beloved.”

 

I knew the voice. The voice belonged to Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, the captain of 11th Division. Why was he here? Why was he calling me beloved and kissing me? It didn't make any sense. I flinched as I opened my eyes. One of them felt sore but it seemed to work. I looked at the man sitting beside the bed who had one of my hands in his. It was Captain Zaraki. Why was he holding my hand? What the hell was going on?

 

“I'm sorry to bother you, Captain but where is Captain Ichimaru? Has he forgiven me?” My voice sounded croaky and my throat hurt when I talked and then I shivered; cold even in the warmth of the bed.

 

The Captain dropped my hand and almost ran to the door. “Retsu; Retsu, get your butt in here. Now! She doesn't know who I am. She's asking for that bastard Ichimaru.” His voice was loud and hurt my ears. I flinched at the noise, hoping the loud, scary man would go away.

 

Captain Unohana came rushing into the room and looked at me. She tried to compose herself and smiled at me. “Hello Lieutenant. Do you know who I am?”

 

“Yes. You're Captain Unohana.” I answered. Of course I knew who she was. I wondered where Gin was. Would he come and visit me if I was hurt?

 

“And do you know who this man is, the one frowning at you,” she indicated the alarming man standing near the bed.

 

“He's Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, head of 11th Division. I don't know why he's here. I don't think we've ever talked. Why is he looking at me like that?” I was scared by the ferocity of his gaze, but secretly I'd always wished he would notice me. Not when I was with Gin, of course, well, not openly, but this Captain fascinated me. His strength, his size had always made me feel small, something very few people could do. I gazed at his chest and flushed at the way my thoughts were progressing.

 

`Retsu, she's forgotten me. What the hell's happened?” The Captain was looking at me and shouting at the head of 4th Division. Why was he angry with her?

 

“It was a new cure but you insisted I save her at any cost. She was dying, Zaraki, remember, the internal injuries were too great for normal treatment and you insisted you didn't care as long as she survived. Memory loss was a potential side effect, I warned you of that, but it didn't seem likely.”

 

What were they talking about? Oh, that's right. These two were rumoured to be lovers, but why were they talking about me like this? I was dying? From what?

 

“Lieutenant Rangiku, do you remember the Ryoka?” Captain Retsu asked very casually as she took a small bag from her pocket and extracted a vial of liquid and a syringe. “I'll give her this. It might help her memory,” she said quietly to Captain Zaraki.

 

“Ryoka? Were there Ryoka? What were they doing?” The question seemed most peculiar.

 

“Do you remember Ichigo?” Captain Zaraki demanded.

 

I felt a small sting of pain in my arms, but I ignored it, wanting to concentrate on what the Captain was saying. I shook my head. Why would I remember a particular strawberry? Captain Unohana whispered something to the 11th Division Captain and they both stared at me as if waiting for something.

 

I looked at the tall Captain and wondered why I felt a sudden rush of passion as I looked at his face. His teeth were barred at me and he looked angry. I was suddenly terrified he was going to bite me on the neck.

 

My head truly hurt and I felt a wave of pain travel through my body. “You bit me. You bit me on the neck and I hadn't done anything wrong. Why did you bite me so hard? Do you hate me, Zaraki? I love you so much and you hate me. Zaraki, please don't hate me, please call me beloved, just once more. I'll do anything you want; keep me with you,” I sobbed suddenly remembering the love I had for this man. I'd hurt him so badly without meaning to and lost his love.

 

I felt a pair of strong arms embrace me. “That bite keeps coming back to haunt me, but this time it's making you remember.” I felt his lips press tightly against mine and I kissed him back, uncertain if this was the right thing to do, in front of his lover, but unable to prevent myself. I put my arms around him, wanting to remove his clothes and mine.

 

“Who am I beloved? Who am I to you?” The arms continued to hold me close and I wanted to remain within that embrace.

 

I shook my head still very confused, unable to believe I thought I loved this man. “Aren't you two lovers?” I asked Captain Unohana.

 

“Not for a very long time. The Captain is married now,” Captain Unohana said watching for my reaction.

 

I flushed again. I'd just kissed a married man and wanted to take it further. What sort of woman was I? I pushed the embracing arms away. “I'm sorry Captain. I'll apologise to your wife. I hope she won't hate me too much.” I felt another wave of pain and remembered seeing Captain Zaraki naked, smiling and looking down at me as we fucked. The accompanying rush of lust was intense and I almost gasped at the need I felt. “We were lovers,” I exclaimed, embarrassed at how my hands were reaching out for the man, greedily.

 

“Yeah,” he took my hands in his and looked at me again. “Beloved, I order you to remember me.”

 

“I don't think you should call me beloved. Your wife won't like it,” removing my hands from his. I envied his wife whoever she was. If I were married to Zaraki I'd be allowed to have sex with him. We'd been lovers once and then I'd told him I loved him and then scared at what I had said, mocked him, asking how I could love him. How could I have said that to him? No wonder he married someone else.

 

“You were at the wedding. Don't you remember?” Captain Unohana prompted gently.

 

I had an image of holding hands with Zaraki in front of the Captain-General and was overcome by a third wave of pain that made me scream, as surges of agony passed through me. “Oh, let me die. Zaraki, I don't want to live without you. Gin and Aizen are going to rape me and I want to die.”

 

Zaraki lifted me off the bed and crushed me to his chest as I wept, overcome by the memories. “Beloved, they didn't rape you, remember? They hurt you badly, you almost died. I couldn't let you die.”

 

“Captain Zaraki, put your wife down. I have to check her immediately and I can't do so if you're squeezing the life out of her.”

 

I felt Zaraki replace me gently on the bed. After a few minutes of examination Captain Unohana said, “I must go and check my notes; this reaction worries me badly. Those episodes of extreme pain are not usual and I worry that they will recur. The treatment seems to have removed much of the bruising, but she is still exceedingly weak and needs to be handled very carefully. I will allow you 10 minutes alone. Captain Zaraki, do not try to resume marital relations in that time. Your wife is fragile and needs time to recover.” She left the room and I suddenly didn't know what to say. My memory was still very patchy.

 

“We're married,” I said, fumbling with my memories. I had to think. If I stopped thinking I could feel Gin and Aizen pressing against me.

 

“To each other. We have been for five days now,” Zaraki grated.

 

“It can't be five days. We got married the day the Arrancar attacked, I remember. We had that party the next day when Gin…” I stopped not wanting to pursue that particular memory.

 

“We've been married five days. You were taken from me on the second day and I couldn't get you back until two days later and you've been unconscious since then. Out of five days of marriage we've been together not quite two.”

 

“How's Yachiru?” I remembered that Gin had tried to kill her.

 

“She's fine. She's been in and out of here checking up on you since you returned.” Zaraki was quick to reassure me, but looked at me wonderingly. I wondered what I had said.

 

“What about Gin and Aizen?” I had to know. Mentioning their names made me recall being trapped between them, terrified of the contact.

 

“Yeah, about that,” Zaraki was rubbing the back of his neck, uncomfortably and would not look at me. “I have to go back to Los Noches and help Ichigo. Somehow Aizen got his hands on his zanpaku-to and he and Gin escaped, while they were naked. Must have been a bit of a shock for the Arrancar.”

 

My heart dropped. They had escaped and Zaraki was going back, leaving me here. “No, no. You can't go.” I reached up and wrapped my arms around his waist holding onto him as tightly as I could, wanting him and his body heat. I had to feel his body against me. My face was jammed against him and I noticed something hard pressing into my cheek. I looked up to see an unmistakable glint in his eye. I began to undo his hakama, needing him so badly my hands were shaking, but he pulled away.

 

“Didn't you hear what Captain Unohana said?” His voice was stern.

 

“She said marital relations. She didn't forbid me to suck you, did she?” That wasn't marital relations, it was something else.

 

“I say you can't.” he sat on the bed and pulled me close, kissing me. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I licked it gently, wanting to show him my love.

 

I wanted the kiss to go on forever. He was holding me so close and I felt all the unconscious fear slip away the longer he held me, his touch warding away the other bodies that had been close to me so recently. Opening my eyes at the withdrawal of his lips, I felt his hands pull my robe apart. I hoped it meant he was going to make love to me, but instead he was looking intently at my throat. “Retsu won't let me see the bruises because it upsets me too much. I had to go and fight when I saw the damage done to you. I tried to take on my whole Division, just to get rid of some of the rage but it was no challenge. Luckily your Captain came to see me, to find out how you were and what had happened. He got irate when I told him what had happened and fought me in order to calm down. He's a good fighter, your Captain, especially when he's angry and he was; I've never seen him so mad. Muttered something about people hurting his older sister; I suppose that's you. He's got some clever moves.”

 

I felt a slight twinge of sadness that he had not stayed with me, but he continued,

 

“I wanted to stay with you, but Retsu wouldn't let me in the room. You were crying in your sleep and I kept trying to hold you, but it hurt you and made you moan in pain. I only want to hear you moan in pleasure.” He kissed me longingly before asking, “Who strangled you?”

 

“Aizen. He was trying to rape me, but I fought back and he squeezed too hard. I blacked out and he wanted me aware of what he was doing.” I would not lie.

 

“What was Gin squealing about?”

 

I explained as briefly as I could everything I could remember. As I talked, Zaraki was examining my body looking at the marks. He didn't try to touch me to arouse me and I felt sad. Didn't I appeal to him anymore?

 

Pulling me close he kissed me again, a sweet loving kiss with none of the urgency I wanted. I pulled away. “I'm sorry. You don't want me anymore. I understand; you saw me with Aizen and Gin and now you don't desire me. You don't have to pretend, Zaraki.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about woman?” He grabbed my hand and put it on his erection. “You felt this before. Not want you? I'm fighting the urge to pin you down and screw you until neither of us can move, which in your case would be now. Beloved, I want you to get better, and then we can have sex for days. You heard Retsu.”

 

“Lieutenant, please stop arousing your husband. I don't think he can take much more,” Captain Unohana's amused voice interrupted.

 

I looked down and noticed my hand was stroking Zaraki lingeringly. I wanted to touch him so much but I grabbed Zaraki's hands instead. “Captain Unohana, when can I go home? I don't want to be here.”

 

“Lieutenant, did you even listen? You almost died and I used a treatment that is basically untested. I didn't want to but your husband insisted I try everything I my power. I have no idea what the side effects will be, but you are alive. You have to stay here until all the wounds heal and you regain your strength and I need to monitor your progress. I advise you to go to sleep now, to assist the healing process. As a former rape victim you may need counselling before you're interested in having sex again.”

 

“Interested in sex? I want Zaraki now. I want him so badly it hurts,” I said, not caring what she heard. My head still ached but that didn't seem important. I wanted to apologise the best way I could for all the trouble I'd caused him and I wanted to rid myself of the memory of Gin and Aizen being near me.

 

“I don't know, maybe the drug has an effect on the libido,” Captain Unohana began.

 

“No, that's just how I feel. I always feel like that when I'm near him. I want him all the time,” I said my eyes fixed on Zaraki's. He looked at me and, grudgingly, smiled a little.

 

“I've never seen any one behave like this before. I wonder what combination of chemicals caused this. Lieutenant, please exercise some control.” Captain Unohana said but was interrupted.

 

“She always talks to me like that, now. I want to hear her talk like that,” Zaraki stated.

 

Retsu shook her head at his words. “Look Lieutenant, I have to keep you here overnight. I'll try to accelerate your healing but I don't know how much I can do. I've told you before, you need to sleep.”

 

“Do what you want, I'm leaving here tomorrow and going home with my husband. He's going back and I have to be with him before he goes. Zaraki, when are you going back to Los Noches?” I asked and noticed a strange look pass between the two of them. “You're going back together, to help Ichigo, aren't you?”

 

“Yeah, we are. But I've been putting it off, waiting until I knew you were going to live,” Zaraki answered slowly. He would have already been there if it wasn't for me.

 

“When are you going?” I made the demand again.

 

“We're going tomorrow,” Zaraki said, very reluctantly.

 

I tried to get out of the bed and I felt both Captain Unohana and Zaraki striving to keep me still. “You can't keep me here. I told you, I have to be with Zaraki. I want his body on mine to take away the memory of Gin and Aizen. I can't bear the memory of their touch on my skin. I feel like they're still handling me and it makes me nauseous. Only Zaraki can take that away.”

 

Captain Unohana was shaking her head. “I can't allow that. You need rest.”

 

I collapsed on the bed, and turned away from them. I couldn't bear the sight of Zaraki. He told me his feelings hadn't changed but I didn't believe him. How could he still care for me after all he had seen and heard?

 

Every time I moved I felt the loathed touch of Gin and Aizen against me. I gagged, trying not to be sick. I shut my eyes and the images rose before my eyes: Aizen holding me down, Gin punching me and other moments in Los Noches; the terror overcame me and I started shaking uncontrollably, mewling my fear aloud.

 

“Retsu?” There was a commanding quality in Zaraki's voice.

 

“No. Be reasonable, both of you. I'll give her something to calm her down.”

 

“That will only work for a short time. Retsu, leave now. I need to talk to my wife in private.” The force in Zaraki's voice scared me.

 

“This is against my orders, Captain. I'll summon Captain Yamamoto if you do not take my advice. I'm warning you, Zaraki; it's too soon and you'll hurt her.” Despite her brave words, Captain Unohana sounded scared.

 

“Don't you think I know that? Call who you like, do what you want, I'm not listening. I know what I have to do and it's not what you think. Get out, or I'll throw you out and I'll kill anyone who comes to this room tonight. Keep everyone away.” The compelling nature of his words seemed to strike Captain Unohana.

 

I heard her sigh. “Violence is not always the answer. I have no idea what you plan, but I'm warning you, Zaraki.” I heard her leave the room and the sound of a key turning in the lock. Loving hands pulled down the sheet and removed my clothes, gently touching me, soothing me. Lips claimed mine as the hands stroked the few uninjured parts of my body. The terror died a little.

 

“I love you, Matsumoto,” Zaraki murmured, releasing me for a few moments as he took his clothes off, including the band around his neck.

 

My heart leapt. We were going to have sex, despite what Retsu said. Zaraki picked me up, softly cradling me against him and then lay down in the bed arranging me on top of him, holding me close and pulling the covers over us both. His erection was between us and I expected him to start arousing me, but instead he kissed me, the gentle lip to lip kiss that I had missed so much.

 

`I love you too, Zaraki. Are we going to make love?” I asked, hopefully.

 

I felt his chest shake a little as he laughed. “Make love? I don't know if I've ever done that before. No, we're not. You said that you still felt those bastards' bodies touching you. I thought if I held you like this, it might help,” his hands rubbed my back, all the places he could touch, removing the taint of those other hands. “Close your eyes.”

 

I obeyed and gloried in feeling his skin against mine, his erection straining against me and his warm hands stroking me. The terror faded further the longer his flesh was in contact with mine. The unwanted feel of Gin and Aizen was being replaced by the touch of the man who loved me. I inhaled his scent again and kissed the skin that was closest to me. The rhythm of his breathing pacified me and made me relax even further. I cuddled as close to him as I could, feeling warm and safe for the first time since I'd been abducted.

 

_________________________________________________________________ _______

 

A.N.

 

Thanks for the reviews. Here, have some cocoa, or some sake.

 

Yeah, another chapter with lots of plot. Smut will feature in the next chapter (maybe), when I find time to write it.

 

Review this chapter and I might even post it. :p Don't disappoint me.

 

Sorry about the delay. Life keeps getting in the way.