Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Different Circumstances ❯ The Food ( Chapter 39 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, except for Arai and a few other random OC's invented to move the plot along.

The Food

Rolling over, I groaned. The food was gone. Gin was gone. I'd stolen enough food for a few days, but when I got home last night the place was empty of both Gin and food. It didn't take me long to work out what had happened. I groaned again. It'd be days before I saw him. The rat did this too often. Waited til I stole a large amount of food and then took it and left.

Why I didn't go with other kids, I couldn't work out. Yeah, he'd saved me once by giving me food and explaining I needed it for my reiatsu, but since then I'd done most of the stealing. He said something about men letting pretty girls get away with more than boys. It was flattery, even when he said it, I knew. All the same, I let him talk me into it. He'd create a diversion, I'd stuff whatever I could inside my shirt and run.

If I got caught, I'd be in trouble. He wouldn't as he never had any of the stuff on him. It bugged me that I took the risks. Each time he'd explain again that he made the plans, all I had to do was do what he said.

"Who'd hurt a pretty girl? Let them kiss you, touch you, then kick 'em and run," he'd suggested one day when I'd complained about another near capture.

Kissing? Kissing these old ugly men for food? Let them touch me? And then what? I wondered, but never let it bother me too much. If he tried to make me do it, I might run and this time he'd be the one left alone without food. I'd never come back.

Problem was, even though I didn't want to, I sort of trusted the smiling slug. Not that he was really a creep; I liked him, I liked him a lot and wanted to spend all my time with him. When he was in the mood, which wasn't often enough, he was funny, clever and made cruel but accurate observations of the people we met. Those were the times I knew we were friends forever.

Until he left me on my own again, with no food or water. Then I cursed him for the meanie he was.

Sometimes he'd talk about a person he'd met; some boy with a name starting with am 'S'. I only knew that because he started to mention his name once, but stopped as soon as he'd said the 'S'. Maybe it was a big secret, maybe not. Whatever. The boy sounded like a cross between a hero and devil. It was easy to see he fascinated Gin who couldn't seem to work out whether he liked or hated the guy. I had the same trouble with Gin, working out if he was a hero or a devil. I'd decided devil and changed my mind lots of times.

Once I'd asked to meet this boy, friend, boss, or whatever the Hell he was. Gin had almost opened his eyes before shaking his head. "He's not interested in girls," he'd nearly sneered. "He wants to talk about serious topics, not the airhead things you babble on about."

That stung. Every time I'd tried to talk about important things with Gin he'd tell me to stick to things I knew. Like flowers, food or theft. I'd given up trying to have serious talks with him. If he thought I was an air head, then, fine. It didn't matter to me. Yeah, I told myself that time after time but was no closer to believing it.

The thing that got me most was it was unfair. I knew how to read. I'd stolen some books and read them. One was about this guy called Genji who acted like a right twerp. Always looking for the perfect woman or something. And there was that other book about being a Samurai. The man who'd written that had a really low opinion of women and I guessed he might not like women, in any way. Some of his advice was good, but a lot of it was garbage. I was sure he was more to his master, maybe even a body servant. I giggled a few times at that idea, but didn't tell anyone else. It was okay to think it, but saying it was bad.

My eyes were still shut. The old, falling down shack where we lived was bad at any time, but without food it was even worse.

"Ran."

I almost stopped breathing. The voice was familiar, but not familiar. It sounded like someone I knew, but changed.

"Rangiku."

Almost like Gin's voice, but deeper, with more of an edge to it than normal.

"Rangiku Matsumoto. Are you awake?"

Every time he spoke it sounded more like Gin. I was almost tempted to open my eyes, but didn't want to. If it was Gin and why did he sound so different, yelling at him might make me feel better, but there was no way he'd care. If it wasn't Gin, then it was a problem and one that made me feel slightly sick. There were stories about some of the men in Soul Society and how they liked young girls. They should have been in Hell, not here. I tensed, ready for action in case it was one of the sickos.

'Ran. Come on Ran. Open your eyes. I've watched you sleep long enough and I want to talk." A hand touched me on the shoulder. Immediately I rolled to one side and jumped to my feet, my hands forming into fists as I opened my eyes, ready to fight whoever the person was. Then I stopped.

The grey hair, sly expression, nearly shut eyes were present, but there was so much wrong. He was wearing a white thingy that looked like a robe and black socks and he was years older. Was it Gin's father? He'd never talked about his family and after a few questions got no answer, I stopped asking.

"Who the Hell are you?" Why be polite to this guy for all he looked like Gin? "Don't you come near me, creep , or I'll bite."

A small smile curved his lips. "Biting me? Happy memories. Happy days."

Those words seriously freaked me out. The guy had a serious kink if he was happy about the idea of being bitten. I bared my teeth at him and growled. "I will bite you. I'll bite your nose off and spit it at your feet."

A strange look crossed his face. "Ran, it will work out. Yeah, you've been taken from the thug again, and you were slightly damaged the last time you were here...."

Nothing he said made sense. Who was the thug? Looking around the place, I knew I'd never seen it before, so why did he think I'd been here before?

"I'll bite you if you don't tell me who you are."

I'm Gin, ya know. Gin Ichimaru." His voice rose.

"No you're not. Gin is about my age. He's not an old freak like you." There was no way he was Gin. I'd only seen him yesterday as he walked away from me.

Slowly his expression cleared and he nodded as if he finally understood something. "The slinking traitor was correct."

"What about? I'm a kid and you better leave me alone. I'll tell a Shinigami on you if you hurt me." It was a hollow threat. Why would one of them listen to me? And they were never there when you needed them.

He stepped toward me and I backed away, growling low in my throat in warning. He reached out a hand and I batted it away harder than I believed. "Don't you touch me. I'll scream." Yeah, like screaming would help in this strange place.

"Ran, there's a mirror over there," the man said pointing at the left wall. "Go look in it."

It wasn't a mirror. It was a moving picture of this old broad. She had my beauty mark, and the hair and eyes seemed the same colour as mine, but she wasn't me. "That's not me. It's a trick. No way my bits would get that big."

"Simply move and see if the image copies you," he said with bitter patience.

I did and it did. There was another way I could check. I looked down and there were the big bits I'd seen in the mirror. Overnight I'd gotten old, grown up, grown out, all without remembering.

Straight away, I began shaking my head. What had happened? I'd gotten old without having any fun or doing the things I wanted to. And why was I wearing a black Shinigami uniform? Was Gin playing another joke on me? Did that guy with the 'S' name help him? What was the point of doing it anyway? I pinched myself, but nothing changed. Shutting my eyes was the only thing I could think of. If I shut them and opened them, everything might return to normal.

It changed nothing. I was still old and fat. Gin was still old and had that stupid smirk plastered over his mouth. He looked pleased about something and from experience it meant that he felt he'd pulled a swift one over someone he didn't like, but feared. I wondered who it was, this time.

Then it became obvious there was little chance of knowing who the person was, or why Gin held a grudge. Obviously decades had passed and I wouldn't recall any of the people around us now. Whoever it was would be annoyed at whatever Gin had done, but he'd find a way to get out of trouble. He always did.

Looking at him I wondered if I was the person he'd decided to punish. It might be true as I didn't know what our relationship was or even if we were still friends. The way he looked at me might mean he was a friend, or he had a plan where I might be useful. Gin liked useful people or liked using people. It wasn't easy to work out which, so I didn't try. He was staring on me and it could end up being either good or bad for me. This time I hoped it was good.

"What did you do to me?" I wanted answers. Yeah, answers from Gin. Like that was going to happen.

"Nothing. Ran, trust me."

Trust him? I'd done that before and ended up hungry and alone. Did he expect me to always follow his ideas?

"Then why am I old and why are you old and even more full of yourself? And where are we? " I was scared. Our history made it hard for me to forget the bad times and for some reason I didn't think I liked him. Secretly I knew I loved him, but there was no way I'd tell him. He'd tease me.

That was one idea broken. Love didn't mean trust. Trust didn't mean love. Trusting Gin was about as sensible as trying to fetch water with a sieve. Could I love him and not trust him? He wasn't the same. I'd thought loved the boy, but what sort of man was he? Had he been changed by the mysterious 'S' into becoming even less nice?

Nice. Funny word to say about Gin. Sometimes he could act like a human being, not the smarmy git he presented to the rest of the world. From the looks of things he was even worse than before. Smarmy had become smug and cruel, and he'd changed into a meanie, or so it seemed. All the trust I'd woken with vanished as his face turned sly. I'd seen him look like that a few times and it usually ended with me running away very fast. With all the wobbly flesh I now had, running might be a problem and I'd be slow.

"What is it, Gin?" I didn't expect an answer.

The smile spread further across his face. It meant he was going to tell me very little.

"Aren't you pleased to see me?"

It was even worse. He didn't want to tell me anything.

"I saw you yesterday when you left with all the stuff I'd stolen. It was meant to last a week. Pleased? No."

So far he hadn't provided one answer to any of my questions.

"It's been at least a week since I've seen you, and you weren't at your best," the smile vanished as he said the words.

What had happened? It seemed weird that he stopped smiling.

I sighed. "Where am I?"

"You're safe and with me."

My hands were on my hips and I leant close to him, trying to scare him. It wouldn't work. "Where am I?"

"Hueco Mundo," he said reluctantly.

He'd told me? But it was a name I hadn't heard before. "What's that? And why am I here?"

"I missed you."

He missed me? He'd never said it before.

"Yeah? For sure!" Did he think I was a big a moron as some of the other kids?

"I did."

"You didn't. Liar."

"I did."

"Didn't."

"Ran, I missed you."

"Liar. You didn't, you didn't, you didn't to infinity. I won, so you didn't miss me."

A small laugh shook him. "I'd forgotten you did that."

"I still do that." I did. I'd done it two days ago when we were fighting.

It wasn't two days ago. This was awful. Who was I? I wasn't the girl who went to sleep worrying about food and water and a stupid boy who kept running away. I stuck my tongue at him and waggled it while I pulled down my eye.

He laughed even harder. He'd been a strange kid, but now he was peculiar.

"Stop it. Stop laughing at me, you meanie! I hate you!" I yelled.

How many times had I yelled that at him?

"No, you don't hate me. You love me. You always have." Gin sounded smug.

I had loved him. I remembered loving him. Now it seemed hard to believe. He'd been kind to me sometimes when he wasn't acting like a know it all.

I tried to see my Gin. Some things looked the same, but not everything. The lines around his mouth had grown deeper and it added a touch of cruelty to his face. Did I still love this man?

"I don't love you." It was better to say that.

He came closer and I backed away. "Don't! No!" I screamed. I didn't want this stranger to touch me.

"I won't hurt you. We were, we are lovers," he said softly.

I almost threw up. Lovers? Sex? I'd heard about it but didn't want to know. Yeah I made a few jokes about it, but so what? I was a kid and too young for that stuff. Thinking about having sex with Gin was yucky. Old people did it when they got married. They did it to have children.

"Do we have children?"

Gin shuddered. He tried to hide it. Did that mean we did, or didn't?

"No, we don't have children."

"Are we married?" People had children when they were married.

Gin laughed loudly, stopped and looked worried. It was weird. He was hiding something. "No."

"Do you love me?"

The shifty look was back. He'd said we were lovers but not married. That must have been wrong. Looking at my finger I saw a ring, like a wedding ring. Was I married? He wasn't going to answer my question.

"Am I married?"

"What?" He looked shocked.

I held out my hand and pointed to the ring. "This ring. Am I married?"

Was his forehead getting wet? He wiped it and tried to smile. "Take it off. I was trying to see if it fitted."

There was a chair. I sat on it. He was lying. "You want to marry me?"

"I was considering the matter."

Yeah. Right. But where did the ring come from? I looked at it. It was pretty. I tugged at it, but it wouldn't budge.

"You take it off," I told him, holding out my hand. I didn't want him to touch me, but I didn't want any ring he gave me either.

He pulled but it didn't move for him either.

"Your fingers are too fat," he said.

I punched him on the side of the head. I didn't mean to but I was sick of this. He rocked on his feet and moved back fast, checked himself and reached for me.

I jumped up, pushing over the chair. "Don't you touch me. I'm a kid," I screamed.

He stopped, but his face was angry. "You're an adult."

"My fingers aren't fat!"

"There was no need to punch me."

There was. I was sure of it. He'd insulted me, called me fat and wouldn't tell me anything. I had an idea. "I am married, but not to you," I blurted out.

Was it true? Who'd I marry if it wasn't Gin? Or was I making things up? Everything that had happened had mixed me up. I thought I was a kid, but I was old. For some reason I was dressed like a Shinigami and Gin looked like a dill.

He cleared his throat a little. When we were kids it meant he was going to lie. "You aren't married."

The words hurt but I didn't believe him. "You hate him." Then I remembered he'd said he'd taken me from the Thug. Who was the Thug? Was he my husband?

Gin cleared his throat again and shook his head. "Hardly know him."

Could the man tell the truth, ever? As a child he'd lied for fun. Had it become a habit?

"I'm married to someone you know and hate. The Thug. Who is the Thug?"

There was no smile on his face and the meanness came through. I didn't like this man. He was bad.

"Let me explain, dear Ran," he said as he tried to smile. As he walked toward me, his hands outstretched, I backed away. It was dumb because I ended up backed into a wall. A hand came close, I grabbed it and bit it hard.

"Bitch," he screamed, jerking the hand from my mouth and slapping me across the face with the other. I'd bitten deep enough to draw blood. I didn't care. I wanted him to bleed. My face hurt from his slap, but not as much as my bite. He wiped at the blood and I saw my teeth marks.

"I told you not to touch me. I told you I'd bite," I sang at him.

"You're acting like a child," he said, and he was trying to be calm.

"I am a child! I am! I am! I don't want to be grown up and here with you. I don't like this place and I don't like you." Pushing past him I ran toward the door. Why hadn't I thought of it before. I'd run away from him and hide and he wouldn't find me. Then I could get back home and everything would be okay.

"Ran, you don't mean that, do you sweetie?"

He was in front of me. How did he do that? Sweetie? What a silly name. Was it meant to make me like him?

This was scary. My eyes were filling but I wouldn't cry, not in front of a stranger. I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. "Let me go." I said, but the words didn't help. My face was wet and I began t sob. "I don't want to be here. I want to go home."

Gin sighed loudly. "This is not what I expected, and it's not what I was promised."

Someone had promised him something. Adults! Who could understand them? They had sex and babies and expected kids to behave or disappear. I didn't want to be an adult. I wanted to be small and fast, running away from danger and toward my home. Make myself tiny to hide in a place no one would look and I'd be safe. No Gin, no strange old people, and no big bits. So what if I was a Shinigami? How could I fight? I didn't know which end of the blade I had to hit with, or the side, or, it was all too hard.

I'd covered my face now and was rocking back and forth as I cried. Weak. So weak. I should have kicked him in the shins and run past him, but how would I get home? Trapped. I hated being in a place like this.

"Ouch." Something sharp stabbed me in the arm. I opened my eye and saw Gin was holding a needle of some kind. He was trying to kill me. I knew it.

"Why?" I asked panic in my voice. Maybe now I was dying he'd tell me. I'd been scared before but now I was terrified. Dying now, when I didn't know who I was, was wrong.

"I don't want the child. I want the woman."

"You're killing me because I'm a kid?" I shrieked. He was even meaner than I thought.

"Wait," was all he said.

"No!" I started hitting at him. If he'd killed me I wanted to hurt him before I died. He simply put up his arms to protect his face and I tried to hit him harder.

"Enough!" He grabbed me and held me close, keeping my arms by my sides.

Wriggling, I tried to escape. He shouldn't be holding me like this. It was wrong and I didn't want to be this close to him. The more I pulled away the closer he drew me.

Then the pain came. Pain like I'd never felt before. I screamed as I jerked. It hurt so bad. He'd lied. He had killed me and I was dying now. My mouth snapped shut from the pain and I felt the teeth grind together. I was scared they'd break. To stop that I bit at anything nearby.

There was something between my teeth. I didn't know what it was and didn't much care. As the pain built further I screamed around what I was biting, digging my teeth in deeper. Grinding and pulling, sucking at the fluid that was flowing into my mouth. There was no taste, just the pain.

Memory returned. Not slowly, but all at once and I almost fell as all the things I'd forgotten came flooding back.

I stopped biting whatever it was as the pain subsided and then pushed at the arms surrounding me, but didn't manage to escape. I could taste blood in my mouth and touched my fingers to my lips. Red stained my flesh and I quickly wiped my mouth. I'd been swallowing Gin's blood.

I threw up. As soon as I realised what I'd been swallowing, my stomach convulsed and wouldn't let the blood remain. Red splattered his already bloody clothes as I retched over and over, my body bowing from the need to remove all that liquid. The wound on his shoulder was covered with the blood I'd sucked from it. Disgusted, I tried to stop, but couldn't. My body rejected him completely and in all ways.

When I finished emptying my stomach, I pushed him away, or he let me go. He'd always hated the unnecessary messy parts of life, unless he was responsible for causing them. I'd bitten him, hit him, hurt him. The last time I'd done that he'd tried to rape me and then with Aizen's help beaten me until I nearly died, or I think that was what I remembered. Maybe Aizen had beaten me? I didn't like thinking about it.

With a disgusted look on his face, Gin stripped off the coat that was spattered with blood and vomit, throwing it on the floor. Crossing to the chair he sat, and stared at me. At least, I thought he stared at me. It was hard to tell as I couldn't see his eyes. He seemed to be looking in my direction, but that meant nothing.

No matter who had beaten me then, I'd hurt Gin now. Throwing up over him would not have endeared me to him and he hated being bested. Retaliation was normally swift and I waited for the beating. He'd shown he was capable of hitting, hurting and attempting to kill me the last time I was here and I'd bitten him, punched him and slapped him many times. Gin believed in vengeance and was quite prepared to be pre-emptive about it.

Again I prepared for death. This was getting old, fast. If I died, people might stop trying to kill me. Then again, with my track record, why would my death prevent them? Maybe crazy Kurotsuchi would find a way to bring me back so he could kill me once more, for fun. Then again so Aizen could kill me.

Nothing happened. Why didn't Gin hit me? I'd braced, awaiting the blow that didn't connect. I was still waiting.

As I dragged my sleeve over my open mouth once more to remove the taste of Gin's blood,I sadly thought of my husband. I'd completely forgotten him again. Zaraki probably knew I'd been taken once more. It was absurd. Abduct, and try to kill, or try to kill and abduct. I only wanted to have an uninterrupted honeymoon and set up home with Zaraki while preparing for the birth of our child. This man was my past and I preferred my present and future.

Gin still hadn't moved any closer but I could feel him watching me. What was he planning this time? Would it be a slow, tortuous retribution for my attacks on him, or were words going to be his initial weapons to be later followed by physical assault?

I'd had an important thought and ignored it while worrying about forthcoming pain. I'd forgotten about our child. No. I refused to die. Our child had to be born; I'd promised Zaraki and Yachiru. Retsu's child would need a playmate as would Captain Kuchiki's and Isane's and my Captain's. I wanted to hold Zaraki's baby in my arms and look into the face that would grow dear to me. Death was not an option.

Facing Gin was hard, but I did. "Where's Rukia?" He might move fast and beat me down within seconds, but there was no reason not to ask questions until then.

He frowned. "Not a demand to return to your husband?" There was no movement. He remained seated, watching me carefully as if he expected me to attack him any moment. Neither of us seemed to trust the other.

I flinched, but tried to pretend I hadn't. "Where is Rukia?"

"Not here." Voice terse, body tensed. It was only a matter of time before the first blow landed, I was sure of it. He could move very fast and it was doubtful I'd manage to evade him for long.

Great. He was once more going to make me work for an answer. "I can see she's not here."

"She wasn't taken. Given a letter to deliver, but she's safe."

A small amount of relief broke through the fear. It mattered less that I was here, as long as she was safe. She'd suffered enough.

"Let me go. I want to go back to my husband." There might be harm in asking, but there would be harm even if I didn't.

"No."

I expected the answer but all the same, a small sliver of hope had existed. Moving to the mirror I tried to tidy up. A washbasin was near and I washed my face and rinsed my mouth. Then I dabbed at the blood on my uniform. It was a hopeless task. So much blood.

"You're still a fun date," Gin said wryly when I paused.

A date? This was nothing like any date I'd been on. Most dates didn't contain violence, memory loss and bloodshed, or maybe my dating experience was too limited. Then again, I was in no position to ever try dating again and resented the comment.

"This isn't a date," I said firmly. "This is an abduction."

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A.N.

Soundtrack

'One Way or Another' Blondie

'Bad Chemistry' Apollo 440

'Smooth Criminal' Michael Jackson

'In Memory' Orion Riders

Thanks to Bastion as always I appreciate your comments. Kyon I'm trying to write faster. Fatal Mars, flattery will keep me updating.

Yeah, delays are inevitable for some reason. Giving up sleep is not an option.