Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Don't Touch Me! Darn, Dirty Soul Reaper! ❯ The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Nice ( Prologue )

Disclaimerific: I can't call Bleach or Planet of the Apes mine, but if Youroichi-san wants to call me hers…well, that's fine. P.S. Please don't sue or kneecap me…thanks

 

Key:

Thoughts

“Speech”

Don't Touch Me! Damn, Dirty Soul Reaper!

(Bleach x Planet of the Apes fic)

Prologue: The Weather is Here…Wish You Were Nice.

 

Date: 04/22/2420

 

An old, yet strong-looking man dressed in a dark suit walked down the street through the bustling streets of Kurakara town. As the man made his way through the streets that had once been home to him and his friends, he encountered a man with messy grey hair and piercing eyes hidden by an almost trademark green and white stripped hat. This man also appeared as though he could be 30 or 40 years the older man's junior. The older man smiled and motioned towards an inviting looking bar.

 

As the two men sat at a booth, the older-looking man spoke first. “Well, Kiskue-san, you always knew how to be discrete. Good thing too, if she knew we were here, she'd have both our asses!”

Urahara Kiskue smiled mysteriously and said, “That's true, even though we do this to honor a mutual friend, she still objects to going into the real world for something as trivial as having a drink.” Kiskue continued: “And I see that she still has you on a rather short leash, ne, Kurosaki-soutaichou? “

Kiskue smiled again as he ribbed the now reddening older man. Kurosaki Ichigo, calmer than in his youth, looked as if he were about to begin throwing fists, but then he sat down slowly and heaved a sigh as he replied: “Yeah, well, it's better than sleeping in the office…and you know she'd make me too!”

The men shared a laugh as they both knew the legendary temper of the diminutive lieutenant and wife of Kurosaki Ichigo.

As the first round of drinks came, they became quiet and taped the bottlenecks of their glasses together. They didn't say his name anymore…they'd been doing this so long that they didn't need to. ”He said he'd only be gone for a year.” Kurosaki-soutaichou thought aloud. Urahara-taichou nodded in acknowledgement, but Kurosaki-Soutaichou began reminiscing, like he usually did on this day. Part of his mind wondered if he was prone to reminiscence because he had died at age 89.

Rukia and I were standing in the 1st squad office the day he came in and asked for a leave of absence. The request was out of the ordinary, to say the least, but we were sure that it would go as planned. Not to mention that he considered it a great honor to be chosen and even though he'd already made his share of history, we couldn't bring ourselves to take the chance away from him. I thank the gods that Rukia and I never had children, we'd have given in to them as surely as we gave into him.

He had been the first living Gotei 13 captain, and also the first to take a leave of absence to travel faster than light. Of course, Urahara Kisuke had said he'd fill in. No one had told him that there was a captain taking a leave of absence, he just seemed to know, just like he always did.

But that was 120 years ago today, they mused as they sat, drinking beer together. They both knew that after that much time the chances of seeing their friend again were practically zero, so these drinks were to his memory, not the hope of reunion as they had been so many years ago. However, events had just begun that would bring the prodigal 12th squad captain back at the most critical moment. A call rang on Ichigo's Mobile Unit, and he gently pressed a finger to his temple to accept the call.

“Hello, Kurosaki-soutaichou speaking.” He said calmly. It was probably his wife. Abari-taichou often dropped his dime just to get a laugh in.

“Soutaichou!” Said the troubled voice of a Seireitei Communications Center operator. “There is a major disturbance on earth! We have reports of massive deaths and now hollows have begun to take advantage of the abundance of wandering spirits!”

Ichigo tensed up and indicated for Kisuke to tap into the call. Kisuke nodded as he placed two fingers on his left temple. Ichigo spoke next. “Alert all captains and lieutenants and have them mobilize their respective squads completely! Give this command the highest priority! We will attempt to gain some information from the earth news services for the next 30 minutes and then we will return to our units. Also, have a small number of soul reapers stand by in the various rukonkai districts to intercept the ryoka that are sure to be arriving! We need to maintain control of the situation, and having mass panic in Soul Society will not help us!”

The SCC operator replied, noticeably relieved by the captain-general's words. “Yes, Sir! Proceeding as instructed, Sir! SCC, out!”

The two men put their drinks down and prepared to go and reconnoiter, but they didn't have to go far. The news suddenly interrupted the live game being displayed on the bar's television set. The rather flustered newscaster looked off-screen and wore a horrified and questioning look on her face. She than began her live report of events that were of interest to people of various importance in both the living world and soul society.

“We now have a breaking report,” she began. “…of major Dark-Particle Missile attacks that appear to have been initiated by the United States of America on the nations of the United Islamic Republic, and curiously, Russia. We have received a statement from the U.S. government stating that an unknown person managed to infiltrate a facility containing aging DP-ICBM's and was able to get past the fail-safe devices. At this time we have received reports of retaliatory and pre-emptive launches by Russia, the UIR, and various other nations in support of their respective allies. Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain calm, and remain indoors. This coming time is going to be trying, good luck to you all.”

The two captains looked at one another, and shook their heads. It had been the same in Ichigo's time, and His father's time also.

The only difference between the doomsday of my life, and that of now, is the name of the particular horse it rode in on. Ichigo mused.

“Well, Kisuke, let's get back and get things ready. We'll have to have large teams deployed and we had better get back and help organize the teams.” Ichigo said after a moment.

Kisuke nodded his agreement and followed Ichigo out of the bar and into the alley to return to soul society. Sometimes, good business was very bad news. And this much business was really bad news; the kind that never left things the same afterwards.

 

Date: Unknown

 

I can't say that I'm too surprised that things went wrong with the flight. ~`It'll be simple'~. They said. ~`You'll be back in your classroom talking about faster than light travel in no time!'~ They said.

A tall man with brown, unruly hair, olive skin, and grey eyes hidden behind an antique pair of Oakley sunglasses, sat on an abandoned beach, slumped next to a small pile of supplies, staring at two sets of ownerless dog tags and a strange diamond-shaped badge with a skull on it. He'd always hated performing that rite, it made him sad.

“Simple my ass!” The weary man shouted to no one in particular.

Had he thought to check the time display within the ruined cockpit, he would have undoubtedly started to use more choice words.

The astronaut, clothed in a form-fitting blue atmospheric suit that bore three emblems on it, stood and trudged toward the dense jungle that bordered the beach, dragging a pile of salvaged supplies on a tarp. He did not realize that the American flag and NASA patches he bore had lost their meaning many centuries ago.

Having pitched camp and gathered what he could from the area and the ship, the astronaut decided that it would be best to reconnoiter as quietly as possible and he hid himself within the camouflaged emergency tent, pressed the small badge to his hip, and his soul was forced from his body. His soul was clothed in a black robe with a white great coat that bore a symbol identical to the third symbol on his suit. He walked through the wall of the tent and jumped roughly 20 feet up and on to a branch. He bounded through the tree canopy; he clutched the hilt of his katana firmly out of habit.

As he moved along the dense jungle, he mused.

I haven't seen hide or hair of a human being in a while…living or dead.

He began to take stock of what he knew: I know that this could possibly be earth, or some other planet, I know that the possibility of another habitable planet in the range we were supposed to travel is almost astronomically small (no pun intended). So, earth is the most likely possibility, but how can that be? We had just started the return jump when the computer malfunctioned; I blacked out and awoke in time to brace for the impact. I know that if this is earth, it shouldn't be more than a year since we left, and that this kind of vast, unspoiled land is really rare in 2300 CE.

As he was bounding through the jungle before him, it began to rain heavily. “Fuckin' Great!” He swore under his breath. “At least I had the common sense to get into the tent and close it before using the battle certificate!!”

What the Astronaut/Soul Reaper did not realize as he moved through the rain was that the symbol on his great coat, a diamond with black corners that held an equal-armed cross over two horizontal lines, was in danger of following the others he bore into history.