Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ For The Love of a Friend ❯ Fragile Friends ( Chapter 32 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, mostly.

 

Fragile Friends

 

Toshiro stared at Momo and then, reluctantly looked at his lieutenant. It wasn't possible to predict how she would react to this casual dismissal of her marriage. She might laugh and joke that Momo was jealous and had a secret crush on her husband, or her feelings might be hurt. There were so many other possible reactions that he feared which one would be the one that was chosen.

 

Her expression hardened and he feared that this was not going to be pleasant. Instead he was astonished by her simple answer. “I told you. I married Captain Kenpachi Zaraki.”

 

Momo turned her attention to Toshiro and he awaited the inevitable question. She always liked to check her facts, unless it was something her deified Aizen had told her. “Tell me the truth, Toshiro. Did Ran really get married or is she making bad jokes again?”

 

The glance he gave Matsumoto revealed that her expression betrayed her increasing anger. “I assure you, Momo that she is telling the truth. My lieutenant is now the wife of Captain Kenpachi Zaraki. I was at the wedding.” Maybe now she could accept this side issue and they could begin to discuss the real reason they were here.

 

Instead Momo was shaking her head as if her denial could change the reality. “No, no. You can't be married to him. When Captain Aizen comes back I'm marrying him and you're marrying Captain Gin Ichimaru. You can't be married to that beast, you can't. I thought you must have married Captain Ichimaru, that he came back. You've always loved him.” Toshiro felt his stomach sink a little as he noticed the signs that Momo was preparing to cry. She'd used her tears as a weapon when they were growing up to get her own way and it still affected him badly, especially when the tears were genuine.

 

Trying to think of something to say, he opened his mouth ready to say anything when he saw Matsumoto make a warning gesture with her hand and then she spoke gently.

 

“I love him, Momo. He loves me and he's not a beast. He wants to have children.”

 

The conversation he'd had with Zaraki after their fight returned to him. He'd promised their children would play together. Then he remembered all the fears that had surfaced later, and tried to hide all the emotions these thoughts summoned. “That's a scary thought; but it's not important now. How are you feeling?”

 

As usual Momo seemed to welcome the conversation returning to her. Toshiro anticipated it would only be a matter of minutes before Aizen was mentioned once more. That had been the usual progress of their recent conversations.

 

“I keep getting sick, I don't know why. I'm tired all the time and I feel heavy. Captain Unohana tells me not to worry and I'll be better soon,” she giggled slightly. “Kira keeps visiting me and he's brought me flowers. He tells me jokes. I haven't seen Renji very often, but Kira told me that he's marrying Rukia. I hope I'm invited to the wedding.”

 

Why hadn't the news of that marriage affected her? Even before that thought had finished he recalled that Momo and Rukia had never been that close. There had been a strange feeling of resentment he'd encountered whenever the topic of Rukia had entered the conversation. Until now he'd never wished to follow the matter further.

 

Fortunately, Matsumoto changed the topic and was bringing it around to the disclosure. He was grateful but wished it could progress faster. “How do you feel about children?”

 

“I love children. I always wanted children, lots of them. Are you pregnant, Ran? Is that why you keep mentioning children? Is that the reason you married the beast?” Momo didn't even seem to recognise that she was being insultingly condescending, or maybe she did.

 

Toshiro felt overwhelming relief that Matsumoto had advised him against offering marriage to Momo. Until now he hadn't realised that there was a deeply petty side of her nature. Had it always been there or was it caused by the trauma?

 

Matsumoto flushed but didn't falter. “I don't think so.”

 

Ignoring her answer Momo continued on with her own concerns. “I wish I was pregnant because then I would be carrying Captain Aizen's child. I love him so much.”

 

At last they had arrived at the point where he could disclose the secret he had been keeping from her. Toshiro took a deep breath, swallowed hard, took another deep breath and asked, “Would you keep his child, even though the father tried to kill you?”

 

“He didn't try to kill me. That was just a misunderstanding. It was Captain Tosen who tried to kill me. He is the leader and he blackmailed Captain Ichimaru and Captain Aizen into forming an alliance with the Hollows. They're both innocent. You shouldn't think badly of Captain Ichimaru, Ran,” her voice held complete assurance.

 

Even as he tried not to look at Matsumoto he almost burst out laughing at the glimpse of the expression on her face. She was almost crossing her eyes as she desperately tried not to laugh or express her disbelief of the last statement. The imploring look she gave him forced him to set his expression so nothing was revealed. Momo had assumed her expression of besotted wonder and he anticipated what she would say next. He wasn't disappointed.

 

“I would keep his child, no matter what.”

 

It was pretty obvious that nothing that was said would change her mind, but he'd try anyway. “Even if you were advised it was a dangerous idea?”

 

Momo shook her head in denial. “It would not be dangerous, don't be silly Toshiro. How could having Captain Aizen's baby be unsafe? I keep hoping I am pregnant, but it would be too wonderful to happen.”

 

The words rankled. How could she accuse him of being silly when she was constantly denying the truth? The look his lieutenant bestowed on him was full of warning but it was too late. They had said too much and now it was time to reveal the secret fully. If only it would make her accept the reality of what Aizen had done, but he was still uncertain what her reaction would be.

 

Trying to keep his voice gentle he said. “Momo, you know how you've been sick and very tired, well there's a reason. You're expecting a baby.”

 

Where he had expected hesitant acceptance he found delirious joy. Momo's eyes opened wide and her excited expression worried him. “I'm pregnant? With Captain Aizen's baby? I must tell him. He'll want to marry me and bring up our child together. I know he loves me and he'll come back when he finds out. Everything will go back to how it was. Maybe we can have a double wedding, Ran and you can marry Captain Ichimaru. Oh, Toshiro. I can't believe it is true!” She clasped her hands over her stomach and he noticed they were trembling.

 

Toshiro wished it wasn't true and he noticed that Momo had again filtered the conversation in order to forget the mention of Matsumoto's marriage. It was unlikely she suggesting bigamy and from his previous conversations he wondered how long it would be before Momo demanded that he bring Aizen back for her and the baby.

 

Her eyes narrowed, his lieutenant leant forward and covered Momo's hand with her own as if to provide reassurance. “It is true, but you should consider it very carefully, Momo. It won't be easy for you.”

 

“I think you should rest now,” Toshiro cut in before Matsumoto could outline how difficult it could become. Momo would not believe her and possibly enter into one of her fanciful dialogues which ended up as a list of instructions for him. “You have to think of the baby.”

 

“I need to tell Captain Aizen. Will you get him for me, Toshiro, please? Tell him that I need to talk to him,” her voice was pleading.

 

He'd enjoy getting Aizen. Getting the man and then subjecting him to all the pain he had put other people through, but instead he once more had to refuse her request without going into details. Details upset his friend. “I can't Momo. It's not possible.” He'd almost lost count of the number of times he'd told her that.

 

“He's telling the truth. It's hard trying to contact that trait… I mean the Captain.” Matsumoto was trying to help but her anger toward Aizen was clearly noticeable in her voice. Now he knew the reason behind her hatred and anger toward the man he found he admired her constraint. It must be extremely painful to have to hear Momo praise the man who had brutalised her and ruined her relationship with her long time love. Earlier conversations with his lieutenant now made sense as he had sensed a reserve whenever he had mentioned Captain Aizen. How it must have stung to have her friend in love with her rapist, while Momo constantly sang his praises.

 

If he did not know these facts he would not believe Matsumoto capable of such restraint. On occasions he'd felt like gibbering when Momo once again mentioned something her captain had said, but that paled into insignificance.

 

Concerned with her own thoughts Momo didn't appear to notice. “But I have to tell him, now. “I want to start planning the wedding. What would be a good name for the baby? I'm sure it will be a boy.” Her voice began to change and he prepared for the sudden realisation that she would again experience until she managed to forget again. “He left me behind. He could have taken me with him; I would never have questioned him. I told him I loved him and he smiled when I said it. We're meant to be together. I knew the first time I saw him when he saved me in the human world. He is my hero.” Momo was sobbing loudly now. Matsumoto's face crumpled but instead of crying, she hugged Momo and patted her gently on the back while murmuring comforting words.

 

Thankful he'd made preparations he summoned Hanatoro who administered a sedative despite Momo's protests. If permitted to continue she would soon become hysterical and even more unreasonable. She would call him names and accuse him of being the real traitor. If she became completely unreasonable she would start talking about Gin Ichimaru in a rather fervid manner. Toshiro usually left at that time, unable to witness the degeneration of his friend.

 

As had happened many times before, Hanatoro wore a grave look as he said, “Please leave now. She will fall asleep soon which is the best thing for her. When she wakes she will remember that she is pregnant with Aizen's baby. I do not know if she will remember anything else. Captain Unohana hoped that a shock, like being told about her pregnancy, might force her to accept reality.”

 

From his few discussions with the 4th Division Captain, Toshiro knew that the hope was slim. There was even the possibility that she might forget her pregnancy and someone would need to break the news to her once more. On this occasion he would not be the one who would perform that task. Let someone else shoulder that responsibility. He'd had enough.

 

“I'll visit again tomorrow,” he said hoping by that time she had at least gained some grasp on her situation. Turning to his lieutenant he asked, “Matsumoto will you visit too?”

 

She paled slightly but nodded. It was possible that she was reluctant in spending time with Momo for obvious reasons. He would not force the issue out of deference to her feelings but he hoped she succumb to her usual generous impulses.

 

“If you do, don't tell her you're married. She is having trouble accepting facts she doesn't like. Lieutenant Izuru informed her of your marriage earlier and she protested vehemently and then forgot it. She won't accept it, for now.” Hanatoro's eyes were shadowed. He glanced back at Momo and shook his head sadly.

 

“I didn't know she had been told before,” Toshiro was shocked but guessed from Hanatoro's expression that Momo had required sedation on that occasion also. “I'll be careful what I say to her.”

 

With a mixture of relief and regret he left 4th Division. Momo Hinamori had suffered and now it was time for her to come to terms with reality. A guilty feeling assailed him as he admitted he wished she was a little more like Soi and Matsumoto. The weakness she displayed was a bad trait in a Shinigami.

 

Reaching his office he realised how much more pleasant it was to have Matsumoto back. After requesting only once she completed some paperwork and filing without complaint and with a high degree of accuracy. For the first hour all seemed to be going well. Matsumoto sighed occasionally and seemed lost in thought, but he let her be. She was proving to be more industrious than normal and a few sighs and occasional lapses of concentration were worth the result.

 

An hour passed.

 

“Toshiro. I want to do something more interesting,” Matsumoto's voice broke through his deliberation.

 

“Once we complete the back log of paperwork,” he said dismissively. The paper he was reading was particularly dull, but it contained some valuable information. A sigh built within him as he realised he had to start from the top of the page to understand the flow of the logic.

 

As he released the sigh, Matsumoto also sighed, even louder than previously. She ruffled through the papers and started to hum slightly under her breath. That was nothing unusual; in the past she often hummed or sang quietly. Her voice was pleasant, which at least kept the irritation level lower than if she sang badly. He recognised the song, or thought he did.

 

Trying to block everything else out he concentrated on the words in front of him and managed to follow the ideas being presented. Looking up he ran the concept through his mind and nodded slightly in approval. It was a good idea, badly expressed. Making a few notes he decided to talk to the author and noted it was Soi's lieutenant.

 

“It has to be her idea and his words,” was his immediate thought. “Soi would think of something like this, but the idea is so badly expressed, it's almost lost in the words. Why doesn't she demote the man? Maybe I should talk to her….”

 

The thought of talking to Soi made him experience an urgent desire to do so immediately and a distinct dread of the outcome. Their recent disastrous encounters made it difficult to anticipate anything other than another unfulfilling fight as he experienced the pain of loss once more. If only there were some way he could make her listen to him, let him explain that he never wanted to marry Momo. Hell, he'd even tell Soi that he cared about her, if she let him, but then she'd probably laugh at him and leave after cutting him to pieces with the vitriol of her bitter wit.

 

“Is there anything interesting to do, Toshiro?” The voice of his lieutenant broke through his musing. He was almost grateful.

 

“No. Finish the filing,” he told her shortly.

 

He watched as she stopped, her face softening as her eyes widened. One hand rose to the base of her throat while the other swept languorously through her hair. He thought he saw her lips form the name of her husband. It was amusing, but sad. If anyone had told him that his friend would fall so comprehensively in love with the Captain of the 11th Division he would have been certain they were joking. Or that the love was returned. Zaraki in love! While it was fact, it was still new enough to shock him a little each time he thought of it and make him jealous. If only he could share a relationship that strong with Soi.

 

Turning to the next batch of papers he'd only read through the first paragraph when he was interrupted for the 3rd time.

 

“Is there anything…”

 

“Get on with what you're doing, Matsumoto,” he said before she could finish. “This has been piling up with everything that's happened.”

 

A faint look of guilt crossed her face. “Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to get abducted…” He was uncertain if there was a trace of sarcasm in her apology.

 

“Or fall in love, or marry,” he finished for her. “It happened and we have to live with the consequences.”

 

She nodded and picked up the next bundle of papers and began singing under her breath once more. Instead of the whole song she began repeating, “Nothing compares with you,” soulfully as she placed each paper where she thought it should be.

 

The document he was reading this time was some direction about completing paperwork promptly. He felt inclined to rip it to shreds and slice and dice the person who'd written it. Administration was not management. Management, being a captain should be more than sitting behind a desk being bored to death by the constant repetition of similar tasks. Once more he regretted agreeing to take on the paperwork of other Divisions, but if he didn't do it, who else would step in?

 

He thrust the document aside and frowned at it. Picking up a brush he signed a few requisitions that were there, before picking up the next bundle of papers. He had let the work pile up, but he didn't understand how it had been generated while they were all supposedly busy. Was there an evil force at work that was creating all these documents to prevent him from doing something interesting? Was there some magic chemistry that caused the papers to increase in volume if he didn't attend to them immediately?

 

“Toshiro, can I do…..”

 

He lost his temper and glared at Matsumoto. “No!”

 

Her cheeks reddened at his tone and the twinge of guilt he felt was more like a punch to his gut. Biting back another sigh he added more gently, “We've nearly finished. Don't ask again or there will be repercussions.”

 

“Okay,” her voice was low. Approaching the desk she took off the papers he'd finished and summoned a messenger to deliver the completed forms. He was pleased to note that he only had one more pile to complete.

 

“I went to Toshiro, and guess what he told me

Guess what he told me…”

 

It was getting even worse now. Instead of singing the original words, Matsumoto was substituting her own as she sang the song over again. He almost laughed at some of the things she sang, struggling to keep a straight face. All the same he didn't like her calling him a fool. Should he reprimand her?

 

The song stopped as she again stood still, her eyes losing focus as her mouth opened slightly. That man, Zaraki had made an enormous impression on his friend. He had never seen her so lost to her surroundings and happy. He could recall the days, which he assumed to be immediately after her encounter with Aizen and how she didn't seem aware of what was going on, nor did she seem to care. He preferred it when she was like this. At least she seemed less inclined to hug him tightly and wordlessly as her body shook with sobs and shudders. So many times he wanted to ask what was wrong, but her quick dismissal and alienation each time he had asked the question had provided ample warning that she would not provide an answer.

 

He hoped Zaraki would kill the bastard, Aizen, painfully. Wipe off the supercilious expression of the traitor as he slowly pushed his sword into the man's stomach, sliding it out then leaving him to die slowly and messily. But would that be enough for all the pain he'd caused so many people? No one had escaped unscathed by the events. The Seireitei was still standing, the buildings being repaired, but the while the façade could be replaced, the foundations were now unsound.

 

He smiled grimly and dismissed the fanciful idea and looked at the object in front of him. It was the last paper. He picked it up, glanced through it and saw he'd already read it. Stretching, he saw his lieutenant had finished her work and was again approaching his desk with a determined look in her eye.

 

“Give me something difficult to do, Captain Hitsugaya. Something less excruciatingly dull. Do you have any…..”

 

She was taking the wrong approach with him and he felt slighted that she would speak to him like this especially as she'd enquired before. “This is the fifth time you've asked me for something interesting and I warned you last time to stop. You need a different form of physical exercise to the one you've been experiencing with your husband. Go for a long walk, you haven't walked much in the last few days, or practice your fighting; there should be someone about who you can pester aside from me.”

 

She flinched. Immediately he felt sorry for how he had reacted and decided to explain. “I'm sorry Matsumoto, but you've been sighing and when you weren't sighing you were asking me for something interesting and when you weren't doing either of those you've been singing under your breath. Normally I wouldn't mind, but you've been singing Nothing Compares to You repeatedly. I think I prefer it when your eyes become unfocused and you wear that stunned expression. I assume you're thinking about your husband?”

 

She flushed again and nodded without saying anything.

 

Toshiro smiled a little. “I liked that song once, but now I don't want to hear it again.”

 

His friend looked down at the floor and then back at him. The next thing she said surprised him, but he was pleased by the change of subject. “Why don't you tell me what happened while I was gone? What's happened with Renji and Rukia?”

 

“Renji and Rukia? Of course, you wouldn't know. They snuck off, with assistance, as an unofficial advance party to Las Noches. Captain Yamamoto seemed aware that they were going and didn't expend any effort on trying to stop them,” This was not gossip. This was factual information and as her husband was on his way to join them, there was little point in trying to hide the facts from her.

 

Matsumoto sat in the chair opposite and smiled at him. “That's so like them. What's happening about their marriage?”

 

For a moment, Toshiro considered not providing a response. This bordered on gossip, but she had been instrumental in causing the engagement. Deciding to humour her he said, “For some reason Rukia wants a long engagement; a very long engagement. I heard she has concerns about making the `right' decision even though she agreed to marry Renji. The story goes that Renji wanted a speedy wedding, almost as fast as your own, but Rukia asked her brother to insist on a minimum of two year's engagement, possibly more, so that the wedding could be properly organised.” He tried to hide his confusion at this, but didn't think he managed to do so. Two years seemed to indicate that Rukia didn't want to marry Renji, but if she didn't why had she agreed? In the human world the two of them often seemed at odds and Rukia treated Renji more like a brother than a lover.

 

His lieutenant frowned slightly as she considered his words. “That's strange. I thought she would be overjoyed and want to marry him as soon as possible, but I was always closer to Renji than Rukia. When we in the human world she seemed to vanish regularly when she wasn't at school or fighting Hollows. Renji often asked me where she was and I didn't know. You don't think that Rukia and Ichigo…No, that doesn't seem right either. They were always arguing and she didn't seem overly concerned when he disappeared or was injured. When Renji wasn't asking me about Rukia's whereabouts, Ichigo was. When she comes back I'll try to find out what's happening.” A momentary pause was followed by, “I suppose Captain Kuchiki is one of the team because Rukia and Renji are already in Las Noches.” He could see she wanted to say more, but she shook her head slightly in denial.

 

“That's one of the reasons. There are others, but I can't discuss them at present.” Any thing else mentioned about the matter was either confidential or speculative and he didn't wish to speculate or divulge information that was not common knowledge. Fortunately she changed the subject.

 

“But why was Captain Kurotsuchi included? I don't trust that man. He's a slimy and unscrupulous cockroach. I hate the way his eyes slither over me; it makes me feel dirty and I know Zaraki hates the man.” Her voice rose slightly. Until now he didn't know that she disliked the 12th Division Captain so much. The man was not his favourite captain but he didn't hate him as much as his lieutenant appeared to. Remembering certain events the truth became clear. The man had caused certain difficulties between his lieutenant and her husband.

 

Truth was easier than lies, and in this case he could provide the story that had been the basis for the decision to include the man. “Hmmm. He declared it would be easier to study the Arrancar if he was a member of the mission. It was a difficult meeting when the membership of the party was being discussed. Your husband insisted on going and no one was stupid enough to refuse him. We can see he feels dishonoured by your abduction and wishes for revenge. Captain Kurotsuchi demanded that he too be included for the sake of research and yelped on about it until Yamamoto gave in just to shut the man up.”

 

Matsumoto frowned and looked puzzled. He decided to explain.

 

“Captain Zaraki insisted on the meeting after I came to find out how you were and then I fought him because he was nearly crazy with rage and grief. That was an interesting fight, but at least it calmed him down enough to stop him trying to kill everyone he saw. 4th Division was having trouble keeping up with the casualties. Once his anger was slightly cooled he began to plan and you know how single minded he can be. It was a fast meeting and the Captain-General seemed bemused by the speed and the events. He didn't even get a chance to chair it and I don't think he was very happy.” Even now he smiled slightly at the memory. Captain Yamamoto was not pleased to be placed in a less than senior role. “I wish the information sessions were always like that. They tend to drag on.”

 

His lieutenant nodded and then her eyes became unfocused once more. It was easy to predict what she was imagining as she smiled languorously. To gain her attention, and to tease her, he handed her a handkerchief which she took immediately. “You might wish to wipe that drool from your chin, Matsumoto.”

 

She took the cloth and dutifully wiped her chin then looked at the cloth. “I wasn't drooling. I was only thinking…”

 

He couldn't help smiling. Normally she didn't follow his instructions so readily. “I can't believe you fell for that.”

 

It felt good to tease her now the paperwork was complete and he could relax. His lieutenant had been returned to him and the pleasure of that realisation made him feel a strange joy he'd relished. She always teased him and it annoyed him. In the future he'd accept the teasing and joke with her in return.

 

“Toshiro, that's not fair,” The small pout made him grin but when she embraced him, he tensed for a second. After all the times he'd resisted this time he accepted and hugged her in return. After she'd been abducted he'd thought he would never feel her arms around him and he was grateful to feel her warmth and love.

 

“I'm sorry Matsumoto,” he said breaking the hug. “I've missed you and I was uncertain that you would be returned alive. Your husband was unwavering in his conviction that he would save you, but knowing Aizen, I was unsure.”

 

This admission embarrassed him and he decided to change the subject to one that had been at the back of his mind. Knowing about it now made him feel there was a lack of trust between them and he wanted to know her reasons.

 

“Can you tell me about the rape now? I've only heard bits and pieces and the rumour mill will distort the facts.” He tried to make the request as bland as possible.

 

Matsumoto looked shocked and then determination crossed her face. The events she related were harrowing and he could see that it hurt her to admit any of them. One thing that came through strongly was her sense of guilt which struck him as absurd. Why did she blame herself? He watched as she clenched and unclenched her hands while she stammered out more words, further explanations that seemed designed to excuse Ichimaru and Aizen of any wrong doing while she centred the blame fully on herself. But then it changed slightly. She mentioned the conversations she'd had with Retsu and her husband and how they both had assured her that she was not to blame. Her voice held no assurance, but the fact she mentioned it meant that she was considering their views and might one day accept them.

 

He wondered why she had held all this in so deeply. Apparently she had told very few people and it seemed it was a mixture of pride and shame that had shaped that decision. Every so often while she spoke, her eyes searched his face as though looking for signs of disgust or anger. He had to keep his face carefully set so she would not misinterpret the increasing feeling of revulsion and anger he felt for her former lover.

 

She faltered to a halt and closed her eyes for a moment and then poured herself a glass of water. Toshiro thought through what he had been told. The only thing he could accuse his lieutenant of was being foolish and trusting too much. His impulse was to reassure her that she wasn't the evil fool who attracted disaster that she seemed to think she was.

 

Carefully choosing his words he remarked, “Captain Unohana protected your privacy. By rights she should have told me.”

 

Before she could object he held up his hand and continued so that she would be forced to accept how the situation had changed. She couldn't be permitted to hide from the truth anymore. “It is easy to see why she chose to keep your secret, but it is a secret no longer.”

 

It struck his as ironic that he would not permit this friend to hide from reality while everyone conspired to keep facts from Momo. He watched as she stared at her hands and he tried to provide reassurance. “No one will think badly of you. You survived. How could they believe it was your fault? The man went on to nearly kill Momo who trusted him completely. As a finale he betrayed us to the Hollows? The man is evil, not you.”

 

She didn't seem to be listening or she was in denial because she was shaking her head. He decided to shock her back to reality by touching on something less important but as it involved Momo, it might attract her attention. “Matsumoto, there is one further problem you may have considered about this rumour spreading, as it will. And of course the abduction and your rescue.”

 

She raised her eyes and whispered. “Momo.”

 

“Yes. I fear the effect on her emotions and mental stability if she does hear of this. You saw how she was today when we visited.”

 

Matsumoto nodded and looked down at her hands again. Then she spoke, her voice husky. “Maybe I should tell her…. No. That would be a bad idea. I wish Zaraki hadn't insisted on telling Yamamoto about it. Who told you, anyway?”

 

There was no point in keeping it a secret and both his informants were absent. He could tell his friend was thinking of explaining to whomever it was forcefully that they had been too eager to open their mouths. “Two sources. Captain Unohana and your husband. Your husband told me Aizen had raped you after we fought and the predicament in which he found you in Hueco Mundo. Captain Unohana filled in the details when I went to visit Momo,” he said heavily. “I told her I knew.”

 

“You said you'd heard rumours!” She seemed shocked. Didn't she know him better than that?

 

“Unless you confirmed it, to me it was only a rumour.” Unless she had admitted the truth he could not trust another person's words. It wasn't that he didn't trust either of the Captains, but her admission at least restored his belief that she trusted him. “Your husband swore to me that he would kill Aizen no matter the cost.”

 

Whatever he'd expected, it didn't match the violent reaction he received. It was a chance comment, probably one he should not have made but it didn't call for this sort of response. “No matter the cost? Any cost is too high. He has to come back to me, Toshiro; I don't think I can bear life without him. The man does not have the right to make that decision. I do not agree. He would know I won't agree. Damned protective, self righteous, egotistical bastard. Captain, I have to go and make him see sense. Now.” Her voice rose and became increasingly excited as she spoke. She gestured with her hands as her eyes flashed with anger.

 

He shook his head. He'd promised Zaraki only hours ago that he would try to keep her safe and letting her go to Las Noches would put her at risk. Rather than reveal that promise he temporised. “You are confined to the Seireitei by order of the Captain General, don't you remember? I do not have authority to give you permission even if I wanted to. Anyway, the passageway is heavily guarded by 2nd Division.” And there was no possible inducement anyone could offer to make him ask a favour of Soi. He didn't want to experience another rejection.

 

Matsumoto sprang to her feet and exclaimed: “I'm going to follow that blasted man and make him see sense; you can't damn well stop me. Zaraki will die and I'll never forgive him or you or anyone. I've only been married to the man for a few days and I was forced apart from him for a third of them. Why did he have to be so eager to go? I'll, I'll…..” she faltered and her mouth opened and closed wordlessly. She was becoming even angrier.

 

If he had doubted the depth of her feeling for her husband, it was now dispelled. He could see she was trying to think of a suitable threat, but seemed lost. It was very rare to see his lieutenant lost for words, and it struck him as funny. He couldn't help but laugh and received an angry glare in response.

 

In an attempt to placate her he tried to explain but couldn't resist teasing her slightly. “He made that vow because of you, in order to protect you. You think Zaraki will die? You've got to be out of your mind Matsumoto. He'll come back. I think if he was nearly dead he'd come back. Stop being a tragedy queen and think sensibly. Anyway we were talking about Momo.” If he changed the subject maybe she would calm down.

 

Matsumoto took a deep breath and leant heavily on the desk and then almost shouted at him. “Momo, always Momo. She's never been very independent. I've noticed she seems to regularly need support.” As if realising she shouted at him, she stood straight, biting her lip and looking embarrassed.

 

All the same, her words shocked him. She had always supported Momo, trying to cheer her up when she was imprisoned, protecting her from Ichimaru and these deeds were not done because of him but because of the friendship between the two. “I thought you were her friend.”

 

Another sigh and Matsumoto spread her hands as she shrugged. Her voice calmer, she explained, “I am, but I can still see her flaws. Her focus has always been very small and she has always wanted support from you, Renji, Kira and from Aizen. I always joked to myself that she had her own little fan club of attractive men. She lost Renji's attention when he realised how he felt about Rukia, but you, Kira and Aizen were always so attentive. You, in particular, have been very careful with Momo.”

 

What she said was true. He had always felt protective of his friend even when they were children because she made bad choices regularly. Once she went to the Academy he couldn't protect her so well, and she began to ignore his advice as she still did. All the same he wouldn't let the insult to his friend go unanswered. Frowning he replied, “But you have your own circle of support.”

 

Nodding his lieutenant smiled gently and wistfully. “You know we're only friends and I don't rely on them to help me make decisions, otherwise I would have asked their advice about Zaraki. If I had I would probably still be mooning about, grieving for Gin and drinking too much. I wonder if I would have been tempted when he came for me in Soul Society if I wasn't with Zaraki.” He did not miss the shudder that accompanied the last sentence.

 

Everything she said was true. He could not deny that he had often placed Momo's needs above all others, even his own. For a long time he thought that was friendship and when he imagined he was in love with her, it had been a willing sacrifice. She had faced a number of very difficult situations, but so had many other Shinigami. “I've been overprotective,” he mused. “I've known Momo for many years and ignored many things about her. She's not really feeble minded, but she does ignore things, important things. I can see why S….someone said cruel words about her.” He almost said Soi's name but stopped himself in time and hoped that Matsumoto would not notice, but even as that hope was born, it died. She'd noticed. He could tell.

 

In an attempt to change the subject he said, “Poor Momo will hear eventually about both matters. It will not be pleasant for her to hear these truths.” After her reaction earlier, he feared how this new information would affect his friend.

 

“It wasn't very pleasant for me.”

 

Again he had made the mistake of thinking about Momo first. Trying to change the subject he stood and moved toward the small kettle. “I think we need some tea.”

 

“Don't try and change the subject Captain. I'll make the tea if you try to be a little more detached.”

 

He could feel his anger begin to build. Detached? He was trying to be a friend to her and all she could do was accuse him? He would remind her he was the Captain. She was pushing the boundaries too far. “You could follow your own advice, Lieutenant. I made the comment without considering your reaction, it is true, but you are more resilient than Momo and you're recovering, aren't you?” Didn't she understand how he had come to rely upon her strength? She was standing here arguing with him days after she nearly died and Momo was still in 4th Division not coping with reality.

 

Matsumoto began to make the tea, measuring out the leaves and setting out the cups. He noticed her hands were shaking as she burst out angrily, “Aside from the recurring memory loss, the absence of my husband, the memory of being trapped between Gin and Aizen as they prepared to rape me, my near death and being accused of being a traitor, I'm just dandy.”

 

He grabbed the kettle before she spilt the boiling water. He had not meant to upset her but he'd once again discounted the effect of the recent events. This time he would take care of her. “Sit down Matsumoto. You'll pour boiling water over your skin if you are not careful.'

 

For once she followed his instructions without debate. He noticed she was struggling to calm down as he poured the tea. She shook and pushed her hands through her hair and swallowed hard.

 

“I apologise,” he told her sincerely. “Momo always seems to want pity and you reject it. I meant what I said about you having more resilience. Momo falls apart when faced with difficult situations. I don't believe she would be either sane or alive if she had experienced what you have, but I have always tried to protect her, emotionally and physically.” It was the truth.

 

Saying it aloud made him see why he was attracted to Soi. Fiercely independent she too would fight back and not expect others to solve her problems. Due to his lack of experience with women he hadn't understood this until now and his interactions with her had been flawed by this lack.

 

Dragging his attention back to the present he watched as she drank to tea. Unwilling as he was to broach the subject he wanted everything clear between them and after taking a deep breath, said, “Matsumoto. I'll give you the rest of the afternoon off if you want but we have to work this out now.”

 

Again he had misjudged the situation. Matsumoto was not calm; nor was she prepared to concede. “No we don't. Momo will just have to live with it, whenever she finds out. Maybe it will make her realise that Aizen is an evil man, not the saviour of the Seireitei.” The bitterness in her voice was profound.

 

“It might break your friendship,” Toshiro reminded her, fearful of the disaster that would result if Momo and Matsumoto were enemies.

 

It seemed every choice he'd made today was wrong. Instead of agreeing or thinking about his comment, his lieutenant turned on him, screaming: “Shut up, Captain. Shut up, Toshiro! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” and then burst into furious tears, while hugging herself and rocking back and forth.

 

Anger raged through him. She'd dared to speak to him in that fashion but his anger cooled as he watched her cry. Pride would not permit him to hug her after she'd insulted him so badly, even though it seemed to be the best solution. Instead he stood there, watching her cry and wishing he was anywhere else.

 

The door opened and he saw Shunsui enter the room. The older man ignored him as he speedily went to Matsumoto. “Ran, dear Ran, what's the matter?' He hugged her the way Toshiro wished he could, and stilled the insistent rocking.

 

Her voice blurred with tears, she seemed to relax slightly and said in a more moderate tone than she had used previously, “Everything's wrong and Toshiro is an idiot. Zaraki is an idiot too. And a bastard. All men are idiots and bastards.” Even as she spoke the inflammatory words her tears abated.

 

Shunsui smiled and patted his friend gently on the back as humour infused his voice. “All women are sluts and fools.”

 

Unbelievingly he watched as Matsumoto wiped her face and laughed. Her voice still roughened by crying she looked at Shunsui and said, “I thought we'd agreed on babes and bimbos.”

 

A frown covered his forehead and his mouth opened in protest. What were these two saying? He wasn't an idiot. Soi wasn't a slut, but possibly a fool where it came to him.

 

Shunsui raised an eyebrow at Toshiro and explained. “Ran has a habit of calling the whole male race idiots and bastards or some other combination when she's upset or has been drinking, or both. It began after Ichimaru severed their relationship and she was hurting pretty badly. Her generalisations put a bit of a cramp in our evenings until we decided to generalise about women in the same way. She liked bitches, or babes and bimbos because it's alliterative. We'd keep generalising until we ended up forgetting which generalisations were used, it could get pretty funny. Didn't you say something about all men wanting to be…?”

 

Before Shunsui could complete that particular revelation, Matsumoto interrupted, obviously not wishing her other generalisation to become public knowledge. He wished he hadn't. “Why are you here?”

 

“He came to see me,” Toshiro said. He'd forgotten the arrangement to meet with the man and felt embarrassed that he'd witnessed their interchange. He'd have to make him promise not to tell everyone, but then again, who'd care?

 

Looking very contrite, his lieutenant stood and bowed very low to him. “Will you please accept my humble apologies? What I said was incorrect and I did not mean the slur on your intelligence. I will accept my reprimand and punishment.”

 

He considered making her wait for his forgiveness, and decided that she was in earnest. “We won't mention it again.” He tried to smile, but his mouth wasn't ready to respond with a full smile. All this emotional upheaval was upsetting and made him feel edgy.

 

“Actually, Ran, while you're here maybe you can help. We're trying to devise a way to get Yamamoto interested in Nanao.” The quick change of subject was a relief and he wondered how she would respond to Shunsui's question.

 

Matsumoto didn't answer immediately. Raising an eyebrow she pursued her lips and let out a slow breath. From her measured response it was apparent she knew the relationship between Nanao and Shunsui was problematic.

 

“Yamamoto? That won't be easy. Have you thought of someone who might be easier, like his lieutenant?”

 

“It has to be a captain, at least. Toshiro has told me he's not interested, you married Kenpachi, Jushiro doesn't like her and we know his interest lies elsewhere, Byakuya is just impossible, Mayuri is too peculiar and I don't think Nanao would be interested in Sajin.” It was interesting to hear Shunsui lay out the list of reasons from the discussion they'd had. He was grateful not to be included as a candidate. Nanao was far from his ideal and she was too bossy.

 

“What about Captain Fong,” Matsumoto had a strange expression on her face that hinted that something may have happened between them.

 

The idea made him queasy and he wanted to demand a full explanation, but in her current mood she might not respond well. He hated the thought of Soi becoming involved with anyone. He had to try again with her. Before any further discussion about this possibility could occur he spoke. “No.” His voice was sharp and he hoped no one would notice and remark on it.

 

“Nanao doesn't swing that way,” Shunsui seemed to regret the reply and Toshiro wondered, but then decided he didn't need to know anything more. “I know. She was in my bed the night you got married, when I finally came home. Fortunately she was asleep, so I snuck off elsewhere.”

 

Even though he knew it was none of his business, he almost asked where he'd gone, but now was not the time. The rest of the conversation turned to methods to interest Yamamoto in Nanao and he only gave it cursory attention. At least it prevented Matsumoto from brooding. Their discussion broadened and he began to reflect on the change in his situation. Now he'd told Momo he might have the time to finally concentrate on Soi. He would tell her that he wasn't marrying Momo. That would help, but what else he could say escaped him.

 

A chance comment drew his attention for a few moments before he began to think of other things. He even responded when Matsumoto mentioned some improbable scheme. The idea was ridiculous and couldn't work.

 

Then he looked at her face. Suddenly she looked tired. Due to the number of events that had involved her recently, it didn't surprise him.

 

When she mentioned she wished to return to Zaraki's place, he immediately offered to escort her. Shunsui took advantage and requested she prepare a meal. After a few sentences of enlightening conversation which indicated that his lieutenant had not even been into her husband's kitchen, they were walking toward the markets. At least a meal and companionship would suppress his impulses which were threatening to drive him toward Soi and the possibility of another doomed encounter.

 

A.N.

 

If you want the full conversations they are in Chapter 20 and 21 of `Different Circumstances'. Some words have been changed.

 

The Byakuya/Kiyone one shot is posted. Its title is `Freedom Lost With Our Innocence'. Further one-shots will be completed as and when I have the interest.

 

It is the time of year to wish you a Happy or Merry something or other. A Happy and Merry whatever. Enjoy it.

 

Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.

 

Thanks to Mors', cancerchick16 and ldymoon for the reviews.