Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ For The Love of a Friend ❯ Fallible Friends ( Chapter 34 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, mostly.

 

Fallible Friends

 

A short time later he was walking through the door of Zaraki's quarters. His hands were full as were Shunsui's after his lieutenant had made her selection of ingredients for their meal. He wondered why she had purchased so much but was pleasantly assured that he would not be hungry.

 

Appearing uncertain, Matsumoto led them to a room which he imagined was the kitchen. The furnishings were sparse except for a jumble of things in one corner and there was the requisite cooking area. His stomach protested quietly and he hoped no one would notice. It seemed a long time since he had last eaten a meal in friendly company.

 

As Matsumoto busied herself, he volunteered to cook the rice for the meal. He'd prepared rice when he made the sushi and as his friend looked so tired, he wanted to help and it might make the meal appear faster. It didn't surprise him at all when Ikkaku and Yumichika appeared at the door way and then he understood that his lieutenant might have also guessed they would turn up which would explain the extra food. They'd probably been following, but were too lazy to help carry the parcels or had been guarding them from any possible attack. He was inclined to believe the latter due to the way the men regarded their captain who had issued strict orders for them to protect his wife.

 

Conversation at dinner was interesting, but not relevant to his main concerns. Yumichika seemed distracted, Matsumoto was distracted, Ikkaku was distracted... If he was honest everyone seemed to be thinking of something, or someone else, himself included. His mind constantly strayed between Soi and Momo. To try to force those thoughts out, he teased Matsumoto about her abstraction and while it resulted in a certain amount of amusement, he remained despondent and tried to hide that emotion.

 

Matsumoto soon retired, after giving them permission to stay and entertain themselves, while restricting their use of the good sake. He almost left, but knew it would be a mistake. Going back to his quarters alone would only give him time to brood on the problems he was facing and he'd done that too often.

 

He noticed with relief when Ikkaku produced a bottle of sake and poured a cup for each of them. “To women,” he proclaimed raising his cup.

 

“No!” Yumichika said. “I won't make that toast.”

 

Looking at the man, Toshiro wondered what was going on. He bit back a sigh wondering if Yumichika was another person who was involved in a disastrous relationship. There had been some banter about women with Yumichika at dinner, but Toshiro's interest had been non-existent. The man must have more experience than he did and probably knew how to deal with unfortunate emotions.

 

Ikkaku raised an eyebrow and placing his cup on the table crossed his arms. “Forget her.”

 

Yumichika glared at his friend and shook his head. “I don't want to forget and I can't forget. You won't follow your own advice.”

 

“That's different,” Ikkaku stammered. “The Captain won't like it, her father doesn't like me, and you don't like it. I know it's doomed.”

 

“But you haven't given up!” Yumichika shot back vehemently. “No matter what threats are made, you don't give up. Why should I?”

 

“Because the woman you're infatuated with is engaged to someone else,” Ikkaku said harshly.

 

Yumichika went white except for the flush that mounted his cheeks. He almost stood and knocked the table hard. Sake spilled from the cups, causing them all to quickly mop up the spilled liquid. After that distraction, Toshiro looked at the three men closely. Shunsui appeared intrigued and unhappy, which did not surprise him. Yumichika was angry and sad while Ikkaku only looked sad.

 

“Ah, women,” Shunsui said lightly. “The blossoms that grace our lives while they cause our downfall. Is it better to have loved and lost?”

 

“No!”

 

The explosive negative made them all look at Yumichika again. “I won't believe I've lost her, no matter how many times she gets engaged.”

 

Despite himself, Toshiro was beginning to understand the situation. There was only one female Shinigami he knew of who was engaged. With a mixture of respect and disbelief he spoke. “Rukia is engaged to Renji and her brother had given his blessing.”

 

“She doesn't want to marry him!” While his voice was steady, there was the element of fear in Yumichika's voice. “She can't! Not now.”

 

“Give up,” Ikkaku said. His face twisted with pain as he spoke.

 

“You haven't! And I fucking won't!”

 

The silence that descended on the room was sudden. Shunsui picked up the bottle of sake and refilled the cups. “Let's drink. Forget women; forget pride and most of all forget love. It only brings complications.”

 

Toshiro found he was nodding in agreement. “To deceit,” he said and raised his cup.

 

The reaction of the three men was unexpected. They stared at him as if he had spoken in a foreign language.

 

“What's that mean?” Ikkaku said, the curiosity almost palpable.

 

Now he thought about it, he had made a rather strange toast. He had been deceiving himself all this time about his feelings for Soi. He was certain that Shunsui was involved with Isane or had been and that had not worked out. The man was in denial, that was clear from some of their conversations. Each of them was lying to himself to some extent but to state it aloud might sour the mood considerably.

 

He thought quickly and uttered something he thought might please them all. “Women deceive us all the time, about how they feel about us, what they want. Let's not toast their beauty, but their deceit.”

 

Each man nodded in agreement and drank the contents of their cup quickly. This time Toshiro refilled them.

 

“To the lies we tell ourselves,” Ikkaku said loudly, pointedly looking at Yumichika.

 

"We all lie," Shunsui said quickly with an accompanying slow smile. "Lying is part of life as we all know. Some of us are better liars than lovers, but I prefer to be the better lover."

 

"Who is it this week?" Ikkaku asked with poorly feigned interest.

 

Toshiro welcomed the change of topic and suggested, "Maybe we can guess who will be broken hearted next week."

 

"Not Rukia," Yumichika asserted very quickly.

 

"She's not even here. Anyone who's not here can't be included." Ikkaku said.

 

"Matsumoto," Toshiro threw in attempting to lighten the atmosphere.

 

For a second there was silence and they all started laughing.

 

"I want my testicles to remain intact," Shunsui said, wiping the tears of laughter from his eyes. "I don't know who to fear the most. You three, Kenpachi or Ran."

 

That comment set them laughing again and the atmosphere lightened.

 

Another round of sake was poured which they drank and then another.

 

"Why won't Nanao leave me alone?"

 

Hearing that question shocked Toshiro. Rather than mourning the love he had lost, Shunsui seemed more concerned by the approaches of his lieutenant.

 

"Get a wife. Nanao will leave you alone if you're married," Ikkaku said laughing and then stopped suddenly and fell silent.

 

The silence spread and they all seemed to reach for the sake at the one time. Toshiro gulped the sake as his mind considered the possibility of marrying Soi. It was a distant possibility as they weren't even speaking and she hated him. While he loved her, persuading her to marry him would be a problem if she continued to feel that way. If they did marry and she didn't love or like him, living with her would be impossible. She was too moody and serious. The few times he's seen her smile had passed too quickly for him to enjoy. Being shackled to the impossible woman would be unbearable. Thinking about it was ridiculous. He'd mentioned having children with her, but marry the woman?

 

He wouldn't find unwanted women in his bed. The situation with Kiyone would not have occurred if he was married to Soi. He wouldn't have to worry about competing for other men for her attention. It would protect her from her useless lieutenant, but she would protest she didn't need protection.

 

Becoming aware that he was shaking his head in response to his thoughts, he swallowed and looked at the others. Each of them seemed distracted by their own thoughts and from the expression on their faces, their thoughts were as unhelpful as his had been. Nemu was in Hueco Mundo and her father would never permit her to marry Ikkaku, Rukia was engaged to Renji and Isane had rejected Shunsui and was also in Hueco Mundo. Of all the failed relationships the one that seemed salvageable was Shunsui's with Isane if he could find the courage to take bad his foolish words and if she could forgive him. Neither seemed likely.

 

"Should I try again?" Shunsui muttered apparently talking to himself. "Each time I try to talk to another woman, I think of her and how she would respond to what I say."

 

"Who is it?" Ikkaku apparently couldn't resist asking the question and Toshiro was curious as to how the Captain would reply. Until now he had failed to answer direct and indirect questions about his love life and Toshiro only knew because of a verbal slip. But then, he too was keeping the identity of the woman involved in his failed relationship a secret.

 

Instead of trying to change the subject, this time, Shunsui blinked tiredly and Toshiro was not sure if he had imagined those traces of moisture in the man's eyes. "Isane," he whispered.

 

"You're not serious? The shyest woman in the Seireitei and you? You've got nothing in common," Ikkaku burst out incredulously.

 

Shunsui seemed to realise what he'd said and gave the 11th Division third seat a cool look. "And you have so much in common with Nemu?'

 

The small flush that rose in Ikkaku's cheeks indicated that he'd been forced to acknowledge the insult he'd delivered. "Isane's shy. You would be the last person she'd get involved with," he tried to counter. "You're with a different woman every week."

 

"Not now. Not for some time," Shunsui replied. "And we can't forget when you rampaged through the female population with the assistance of Renji."

 

Ikkaku looked even more abashed. "I was trying to make him stop obsessing about Rukia," he admitted sadly.

 

The small silence that fell at the mention of her name drew attention to Yumichika who looked even more dismayed before he suddenly spoke with none of his usual calm. "If he was so taken with her, why did he ignore her?"

 

Ikkaku looked dismayed. "I made a suggestion that he try to act like he didn't care so much. I told him to see other women and he did. He helped my Captain's wife to recover from Aizen's rape, before she got involved with Captain Zaraki, of course. I thought it would make Rukia become interested, if Renji started seeing other women."

 

Toshiro gulped slightly. That meant that Matsumoto and Renji had..... Was that why Zaraki had stated he owed the guy? His lieutenant's secret would not remain a secret much longer, and he wondered how it would affect her. Any sympathy would be rejected and while she might appear to be ignorant of the gossip, she would know and it would hurt. If only there was a possibility that she could leave the hot bed of gossip that was the Seireitei before this story became general knowledge.

 

Yumichika's eyes widened and then narrowed. He obviously had not known about either incident and then he nodded firmly, as a piece of information had confirmed something he suspected. The stare he turned on Ikkaku was bereft of friendship and contained only calculation and mistrust.

 

Shunsui's look of surprise faded into bemusement as he shrugged. "So that's the whole story now. I wondered, but didn't want to ask Ran. Her reactions were too extreme to question."

 

Toshiro began to understand. In trying to help his friend cope with love apparently unreturned, Ikkaku had attempted to help Renji. As the problem was ongoing he didn't mention it to anyone and advised a course of action which might have helped in some situations but only compounded the problems related to this one.

 

Despite any feelings she might have held for Renji, due to his apparent disinterest Rukia had found companionship with Yumichika. This added to her brother's apparent distaste for her friend would have only served to foster the burgeoning romance.

 

No matter what assurance anyone could provide Ikkaku might feel responsible for the current situation. He seemed to be drinking faster, pouring out cup after cup and gulping them down and fetching a fresh bottle. It was very evident that he was not looking at anyone as he kept his eyes firmly on the table.

 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Yumichika was standing now, his hands on his hips and his attitude embodying his anger. Toshiro could not remember seeing the man angry before and would not have expected this anger to be directed at his best friend. "I thought Renji had given up. You told me they were friends and everything was in the past."

 

"I promised Renji it would be a secret and it was nothing to do with you and then I warned you to leave her alone. You didn't tell me about Rukia until too late, did you? If I'd known earlier I would have told you what I'd discussed with Renji and this mess wouldn't have happened."

 

"What? I was supposed to tell you I'd fallen in love with her before I knew how she felt? I'm not some lovesick teenager who tells his friends everything. Do you think I'm like Keigo? Or Ichigo? You should have told me what you'd advised that other love sick fool. I thought we didn't keep secrets."

 

Ikkaku sat back, the stunned look on his face showing he had not expected that reaction, but Yumichika continued. "You didn't tell me about Nemu until her freaking father threatened you and then you asked me to do something about him."

 

"Why would I tell you? It wasn't my secret?" Ikkaku was beginning to sound angry.

 

"Why would you tell me? We're friends, or meant to be. Your relationship with Nemu is important!" Yumichika drew himself up tall and seemed to be both cold and angry.

 

"So was yours with Rukia!" Ikkaku was becoming more heated.

 

Toshiro looked from one to the other and tried to think of a way of breaking the increasing tension.

 

Suddenly Shunsui interrupted with a laugh that sounded bitter and forced. "Friends and lovers. We should trust our friends because our lovers betray us."

 

"So do our friends," Yumichika said looking pointedly at Ikkaku.

 

Ikkaku now rose and faced his friend his hand on the handle of his zanpakuto. "I didn't betray you. Hell, why did you have to fall for her? Why didn't you ask?"

 

"I could ask you the same." Yumichika's hand was on the handle of his blade now. The level of stress that was leaking from the two men had increased dramatically.

 

This was degenerating fast and Toshiro did not think Matsumoto would like her husband's subordinates fighting in her kitchen while she was sleeping. The sake was slowing his thought processes and he struggled to find a solution. He had come to like both Ikkaku and Yumichika and respected their close and long standing friendship and didn't want it to be broken by a dispute over their disastrous love affairs.

 

Nothing came to mind. As the two bent closer to each other he finally remembered something that had worked once before. Concentrating his power he lowered the temperature around the bodies of the two men, but more quickly than he'd anticipated. Within seconds the two men started to shiver while they stood staring, each trying to intimidate the other. When their teeth began to chatter and their bodies shake with the increasing cold they removed their hands from their weapons and wrapped their arms around their bodies.

 

"I think you can stop now, Toshiro," Shunsui voice this time was amused. "I remember you did that to me and it sobers you up pretty quickly."

 

Before he did so he gave quick touch of chill to himself and Shunsui in an effort to restore some sobriety. The shock of the cool made his head spin and a sudden headache form behind his eyes.

 

"Love makes fools of us all, even without the help of women," the gravity in Shunsui's voice impressed Toshiro. It was also a deflection of blame, forcing their attention to the emotion rather than those who roused that feeling.

 

"I never wanted to fall in love. The sex was the main objective." Surprisingly, this admission came from Ikkaku. "Nemu is not the type of woman I usually find attractive..." His voice trailed off and his face twisted with anguish.

 

"Rukia was unobtainable, or at least I thought so. I'd never considered.... It didn't.... I wasn't," Yumichika paused and then held out his hands in supplication. "It happened."

 

Toshiro found he was nodding in agreement. It had happened. Why or how didn't matter anymore. The geneses of these problems were in the past and nothing could alter what had already occurred.

 

"I'd swear off love, but each time I have, I fall in love once more," Shunsui said lightly.

 

"Let's get drunk and talk about something else," Ikkaku said as he poured more sake for each of them. "Not friendship, or love or women."

 

"Or sex, Aizen, the traitors or gossip," Toshiro added thinking that those subjects could also prove dangerous.

 

Yumichika pouted slightly as he raised his eyebrows. "Is there anything left to discuss?"

 

Ikkaku pounded his friend on the shoulder. "Fighting and food," he exclaimed.

 

"We could work out a roster for who sleeps here until Captain Zaraki returns," Toshiro suggested. It would solve a number of problems if that could be worked out early.

 

The two 11th Division men looked at him and burst out laughing. Shunsui added his chuckle and said, "Drinking and working out a roster. Toshiro, you've got much to learn about having a good time."

 

Feeling his face flush at the implied insult he tried to protest, but found a sake cup had been placed in each hand.

 

"Drink and stop thinking," Ikkaku urged.

 

"Thinking got me into this mess," Shunsui stated. "I was trying to protect my freedom and instead ended it."

 

"Yeah, if you think too much you'll end up looking like Yamamoto," Yumichika said and shuddered delicately. "Drink."

 

Encouraged he drank, matching them drink for drink until his eyes began to close. They discussed nothing much, while carefully avoiding further discussion of love and women.

 

"Captain, I think it's time we slept," a slurred but familiar voice said and Toshiro started awake to find his head was resting on the table.

 

"It's not going to be comfortable. There are only two sleeping mats, but I think we're all too wasted to care." Ikkaku continued. The man was standing, swaying slightly as he seemed to be trying to focus.

 

Staggering, Toshiro got to his feet, and together, clutching at each other, the four men made their way to the mats spread on the floor. As he fell in the approximate position of one he felt Shunsui fall on him. Grunting slightly, he pushed the man away and then...

 

He was awoken by screaming. Loud, hysterical screaming roused him and he opened his eyes immediately and then shut them, fearing they would fall out of their sockets. An aching head and dry mouth in addition to his eyes proved he'd too much to drink and he vaguely recalled why.

 

Trying to rise to his feet proved problematic. There was a weight pressing down on his legs and another one on his chest. Once more he opened his eyes only to see a bare foot immediately in front of his face. Hearing a groan, he saw the foot was withdrawn and another answering groan was soon followed by the weight being removed from his leg. As fast as he could he got to his feet and followed by Shunsui, Ikkaku and Yumichika they moved as swiftly as four hung over men could to the door of the bedroom. There was no doubt that the screaming issued from that room and Toshiro found enough energy to feel concern about what they might find inside.

 

The door seemed stuck and together they pushed at it until it broke. Entering the room, he blinked. There seemed to be a shadowy figure reaching toward his lieutenant. He shouted a warning and the figure dissipated, fading like smoke into the air.

"Search the room," he ordered. There was something wrong and the room carried an ominous presence that made the back of his neck prickle.

 

Matsumoto was lying flat on the bed, almost like someone was holding her down and while she was trying desperately to get free of her invisible assailant she was trying to free her arms. As fast as he could he moved beside her and tried to shake her awake.

 

"Matsumoto, wake up," he said loudly. At his touch her arms flailed out and her fist connected painfully with his shoulder. The impact nearly knocked him off his feet and her response alarmed him. She hadn't even opened her eyes, but continued to struggle as if she was fighting for her life, or something even more important.

 

Trying to remain calm he tried talking to her again, hoping that his familiar voice would wake her. “That hurt! Good thing that was my shoulder and not my face. It's me. Calm down, lieutenant.” The shoulder ached so he rubbed at it when Matsumoto finally opened her eyes. Fortunately she stopped screaming at the same time and the sudden cessation of noise made his ears ring.

 

“What the hell is going on? We were sleeping and then you started screaming like a banshee,” Shunsui, sounded unusually angry, as he looked sharply through the room. Toshiro had never heard that edge of anger in his voice before and it made him recognise once more that he cared for his friend, despite his regular teasing comments.

 

Matsumoto gasped and didn't even try to wipe the tears that were streaming down her face. Shudders wracked her body and her voice was indistinct and choked. “Aizen. He was pretending to be Zaraki and was raping me again. He told me Zaraki was dead.”

 

Toshiro looked around the room very carefully again. There was no sign of forced entry except the one they had caused to enter. He did this carefully as he didn't want to think about what she'd said. Aizen was invading her dreams and after her previous experience he was loathe to say anything that might make matters worse. Instinctively he wanted to hug her, but years of repression made the action difficult.

 

To his combined relief and shame, Shunsui took the woman into his arms, with gentle care. “Nightmares. There was no one here. We had to break the door to get inside. Oh, Ran, poor, Ran. You're still not over it.”

 

Trying to hide his emotions Toshiro observed with some relief, “I assume that means you haven't lost your memory today." Honesty forced him to add what he had observed. "That's one thing I don't have to think about, but when I came into the room I could have sworn I saw a shadowy figure bent over you. It vanished as soon as we came into the room.”

 

A look of alarm flickered through Matsumoto's eyes and she looked around the room fearfully. Further concerned by that reaction he moved to the window and opened it to see if there was any evidence of entry. The sun was rising and watching it let his mind escape from the tedium of trying to work out what had happened. He'd need to rid himself of the raging headache before he attempted to decipher any meaning from these events. Being attacked while sleeping through the dreams sounded like some plot of a bizarre movie he'd watched while staying in the human world. It couldn't be possible that Aizen had found a way to invade dreams.

 

“I can't see anything to show that anyone was here,” Ikkaku said. The man moved next to Toshiro and also stared out the window. From his earlier interaction with him, he guessed Ikkaku was experiencing a sense of failure. He'd been entrusted with the safety of his Captain's wife and some of the evidence indicated that she'd been attacked while he'd slept in the other room.

 

“It was a nightmare," Shunsui said comforting Matsumoto. Toshiro let some of the tension evaporate but the next words he spoke, made the stress increase. "You've heard the rumours about what happened between that bastard Aizen and Ran."

 

Both Ikkaku and Toshiro turned and stared at Shunsui.

 

"Why did he have to mention that now?" was Toshiro's immediate thought. When she had explained about the events to him on the previous day he could tell how the admission had hurt her. He didn't know much about women, but it seemed she had been ashamed and felt guilty and while he felt sympathetic, it made no sense that she seemed to take the full blame. Captain Unohana had explained that this was normal, yet he wondered why. Did a crime survivor always feel guilt for the aggravated actions of their attacker?

 

Instead of replying, Ikkaku and Yumichika simply nodded. The expression on Matsumoto's face made him decide to quickly change the subject before she began to cry again.

 

“Seeing you're awake, and after hearing those screams I don't think I'll go back to sleep, we should go and see Hanatoro." Maybe the episodes of memory loss where gone, but this new manifestation of bad dreams might be another symptom. The fact that he always associated 4th Division with Soi and sex was not the reason he was so eager to go there. He wanted to make certain that Momo had not deteriorated further after the revelation. Soi would not be there. From now she would probably avoid the place unless she was dying and had no choice but to go there.

 

Shunsui looked at him and then understanding flared in his eyes. “I think I'll go and try to catch up on my sleep. It's not easy sharing two sleeping mats amongst four people, nor was it very comfortable. Get some more mats, or something for next time.”

 

Matsumoto made some protest to which Ikkaku replied, but Toshiro wasn't interested. The next words uttered by Shunsui seemed particularly pertinent and nearly accusatory.

 

“We were drinking, drowning our sorrows and talking, you know how it is. I had no reason to go home, fearing what I might find in my bed and Toshiro here drank too much. You snore when you've been drinking,” Shunsui said.

 

He could reply that Shunsui was not innocent of that last claim. When he'd partially woken during the night he noticed that at least two of the others were rending the night with their breathing difficulties. Instead he kept silent and wondered if he should try to get everyone moving.

 

Eventually Matsumoto forced the issue, asking them to leave the room so she could dress. They drifted toward the kitchen and each of them drank large quantities of water while Shunsui made tea and each of them took turns to use the other bathroom.

 

"We should eat," Yumichika said. "It might help with the nausea."

 

"Not eggs," Toshiro said.

 

"Rice porridge," Ikkaku said. "Anyone can make that and it's bland enough."

 

"I want some toast." He didn't know he wanted toast until he mentioned it.

 

Working together it took a short time before the toast and rice porridge was prepared. They sat at the table and ate while sipping at the welcome tea.

 

Ikkaku burped loudly and patted his chest. "That's better. More tea."

 

"Manners," Yumichika said sternly and then went red as he tried to hide his own burp.

 

"Manners," Ikkaku said. "I hear movement. I think Ran's nearly here.

 

“Breakfast, Ran,” Shunsui said as she entered the kitchen.

 

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

 

“Because you've had a hard time of it,” Shunsui said.

 

Ikkaku grinned. “Our Captain insisted.”

 

"And you're our friend,” Yumichika added hastily.

 

Feeling an unfamiliar surge of sentiment Toshiro added, "I missed you."

 

He then turned his attention elsewhere, not wishing to hear any response that would further tax his emotions. Mercifully his lieutenant quickly finished her meal and he stood as soon as she placed her emptied cup on the table. Last night was a bad memory and he wished to leave the scene of those incidents. Tonight, when he was alone there might be the chance to reflect upon any possible options he could take to regain Soi's friendship. Friendship was not the right word, but it did not seem any simple way to categorise the situation between them.

 

Switching his attention he considered the events of that morning. That figure standing in the bedroom, the difficulty in waking Matsumoto and his hangover all required attention. While he was in 4th Division he would discuss these matters with some of the people who might be able to provide answers. Discussions he'd had with Hanatoro had disclosed that Iemura had been spending some time with Momo. The man might be able to disclose if there were any factors he could identify that would help his friend.

 

“I'll visit Momo while I'm at 4th Division,” Matsumoto said as they began to walk.

 

Gratefully he nodded. It was kind of her to remember his earlier request. “This time I think it would be best if we visited her separately. I would like to talk to Iemura and Hanatoro about a few things I've noticed,” Toshiro looked very solemn as he longingly thought of relief from his pounding headache.

 

 

A.N.

 

Don't really have much to say except to request, ask, demand, reviews.

 

I appreciate the support from Bastion and ldymoon.

 

Soundtrack

'Love Phantom' Bz's

'Boys Don't Cry' The Cure

'So Many Nights' The Cat Empire

'Badimo' Juno Reactor

 

Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.