Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ For The Love of a Friend ❯ Friends or Lovers? ( Chapter 44 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: orionshadow 
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.26.2012 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.0K | Visits: 213 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Bleach Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 06.26.2012 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.0K | Visits: 213 | Status: Work In Progress
Tite Kubo owns Bleach and the characters depicted therein. The characters in this story are not mine, except for the original characters. I make no money from the publication of this work.
Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath didn't slow the thudding of her heart and having her eyes closed made it impossible to read the letter. Resolutely she opened them and began to read the letter.
Soi,
No 'dear', or other salutation, just her name.
You are the only Captain I trust to exercise good judgement in these difficult circumstances
.
What did he mean? Was he praising her or wanting advice?
I regret the misunderstandings, which have come between us and caused what seems to be an irreparable rift. Most of the fault is mine. Words were spoken without due consideration to the situation. Momo is to be married to a member of 4th Division and my obligation to her on this matter is at an end.
Her cheeks flushed. He admitted his fault? A man admitted he had done something wrong? Toshiro had admitted he'd made a mistake! She re-read the paragraph again; hardly able to believe her eyes and then dwelt longingly on the last sentence. He used the word obligation, not love or compassion regarding Momo.
Is it possible to put the past behind us? For us to meet and with the wisdom of experience talk to each other and reach an understanding, which may, eventually, lead to friendship?
Now she was confused. He wanted to be friends? Only friends? Putting the past behind them meant forgetting about the sex and she wasn't certain she could, especially as she was carrying their child.
I have missed hearing your thoughts about the events which are taking place too rapidly. Please, Soi, forgive me.
He missed her. She hugged the letter. Forgiveness? Maybe if he gave her good sex. Wait, what was she thinking? No more snap decisions. This time it was essential all the repercussions of any action were examined and re-examined before she took any action.
As a token of my sincerity, I send this statuette to you and hope you will accept it in the spirit in which it is given.
Did that mean the hornet was a love token, or one of friendship?
With deep respect and love,
Toshiro Hitsugaya
Wait. Hold on. He said love and respect.
Toshiro loved her.
She loved him.
They were having a child and Momo was no longer an obligation. This was what she'd hoped for, even when she was denying her emotional attachment to Toshiro. If he had never mentioned Momo that fateful time all the problems and fights might not have happened, but then they may have fought about other issues. Now she admitted that trying to be in a relationship, even one that was only about sex, was not easy. Not when emotions became involved, no matter how much she denied they were there.
What was the next step? What should she say in her reply? It was against her nature to forgive anyone quickly, except Yoruichi, yet she wanted to forgive him. There were so many things she needed to say to him, to share with him. If they worked together, it was possible they could overcome some of the problems in the Seireitei and devise a plan to overcome the threat of the Winter War.
How could she reply? What could she say? Words on paper. She didn't enjoy writing reports, but this was more important than any report. The words might commit her to an action she wasn't prepared to take or perhaps express emotion she was not yet ready to admit to anyone except herself, and that was a very deep secret.
She'd simply reply with a few brief words.
Lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed the arrival of another member of 11th Division who walked past her into the room she had recently vacated. The man who had spoken so firmly to the troublemaker was talking to Matsumoto.
“As Captain Zaraki ordered me to serve you, I had been ordered to stay with you at all times,” he said as he straightened, a friendly smile on his face.
A strange but telling look passed over Matsumoto's face. “I don’t want someone following me around all the time,” she said.
Interesting. Did the woman really dislike the idea or was she planning something reckless? Considering the events of the last few weeks, Soi decided to intervene. As she replaced the letter in the envelope she re-entered the room. “I agree with the decision,” she said.
“Okay, fine. Just stay your distance. I hate being crowded,” Matsumoto replied to the man, her frustration obvious.
Soi almost laughed. Hated being crowded? Not if it was Zaraki, but she decided to change the subject. It was imperative the situation with Toshiro be resolved and quickly so she could abandon the feeling of abandonment. The time for brooding over his mistakes and her errors was over and she wanted to be in his arms again, making him give her pleasure. She didn't want to commit anything compromising to paper, but wished to provide a clear message.
“Lieutenant, do you have paper and a pen? I wish to reply to your Captain,” she asked.
It was obvious the woman was not very well acquainted with the room. She hesitated when asked and then headed toward a table which she smiled at with a strange expression and then returned with the requested paper and pen.
A few seconds thought and she quickly wrote:
"Toshiro, we should talk. I'll be waiting in the Linen Room in 4th Division. Meet me there. Soi"
She glanced at it, sealed it and handed it to Toshiro's lieutenant before she could change her mind. "Would you hand this to your Captain before I speak with him?" Then she thought of an excuse she could use to be at 4th Division. "I believe I should check on Lieutenant Hinamori before we return to the Captain-General so that I can assure him of her continuing recovery,” then she decided to change the subject. “Why are you carrying a bag?”
Another strange smile crossed the women's face. “I thought I’d take a few things to Momo."
Momo was the excuse of the day, it seemed. Well, she'd been an excuse for so many things, why not for both of them. She didn't really believe that Ran was carrying things to Momo, but then she didn't really have an excuse to visit 4th Division. Instead of asking further questions, she pretended to agree.
The walk to 4th Division was silent. Matsumoto didn't say anything, her eyes seemed firmly fixed on the sky. Her new companion followed with a small frown and Soi wondered if she too was frowning. There was so much to think about.
Toshiro loved her. Then she noticed the thought made her smile. Quickly losing the smiled, she tried to think of other things, but her mind kept drifting back to the letter. He loved her, he missed her, and didn't want to marry Momo.
She HAD to think of something else. Anything. Her mind was constantly returning to thoughts and questions that could not be answered by logic alone. Physical exercise might help and she'd made a vague promise to Toshiro's lieutenant. Why not take advantage of it now, work off some of the stress and tension she was experiencing and pay back a favour. The fewer favours she owed the less the feeling of obligation and her life was already too cluttered with difficult factors.
Including her lieutenant. It was preferable not to think of the man, but she'd have to address the issue and soon. Maybe Toshiro would have some advice on how to deal with a lazy, unruly and useless subordinate, not that she believed his subordinate was useless, or lazy. Possibly unruly, but it was not her problem.
She saw the large grassy area near 4th Division, stopped and spoke to Matsumoto. “Lieutenant, I made an offer to you earlier and I feel in need of some exercise. Would you care for some training?”
The surprised look was quickly replaced with one of pleasure. "Yes, thank you," the lieutenant said as she handed her bag to Arai.
Soi waited until she was ready and facing her, noticing her well balanced stance. “Good. Draw your zanpakuto. I take it that you have communed with the spirit of your blade?”
There was a small pause and then the woman nodded. Possibly, there was some problem with her spirit, but it often too time, diplomacy or sheer bloody mindedness to work with some of the creatures. None of the moves were predictable or easy to manage and a few were downright maddening.
Instead of prying further, she provided some advice. “Try to establish that communion within your mind as we fight. Try to rouse it’s emotions as you fight so that they blend with your own.” Waiting a few beats, Soi attacked, not holding back.
Matsumoto seemed unprepared for the attack and backed away quickly. She had a strange, unfocused look which might mean she was scared, or trying to talk to the spirit of her zanpakuto. Soi hoped it was the latter.
She waited seconds and attacked again. To Soi's surprise, she met the blow and pushed back.
Briefly, Soi wondered if the problem had been that too many people treated this woman gently, not forcing her to take control and fight back properly, or maybe she had made a breakthrough. Whichever it was, Soi was very pleased and from the shocked and joyful look on her opponents face, so was she. “That shows promise. Do it again.”
They joined battle. Slowly Matsumoto loosened up, and instead of continual defensive moves, produced a few offensive ones. The longer they battled, the more impressive her skills were. Of course, she was using many of the fighting techniques taught at the Academy, even some of the difficult ones, but it proved that Soi might be correct. Since graduating her skills hadn't been tested often enough. Probably more time was spent on the paperwork than on maintaining her skills. It took discipline to keep working on skills already learnt in order to keep them sharp and from her observation many Shinigami lost interest over time, becoming complacent, except when exposed to one of the more difficult Hollows.
Soi began to warm up as well and began employing something one of her instructors had always said was a disadvantage: her height. She was small and lithe and even now while pregnant, she still had speed on her side. She kept attempting to get under Matsumoto's guard and stab her, not hard, but enough to draw blood and prove her victory. Or somersaulting behind her to slash there. On one such closing, when a long slash was barely avoided, she had one tiny moment of distraction, convinced she'd felt Toshiro's reiatsu somewhere nearby. Feeling a pain in her arm and she looked down and noticed a long, narrow cut. The fight abruptly stopped and she looked at Matsumoto in surprise.
What could she say? How could she cover her mistake? “Heck. I let my mind get distracted by something,” she said looking at her arm with anger. 'Heck'? She never used that word. Why use it now?
The lieutenant looked stricken. "We better get this seen to immediately” but the words seemed to come from some distance as her vision blurred.
********************************************************* *************************
Toshiro was bored and agitated at the same time. It was unpleasant. How long before he received a response to his letter? Waiting around here, trying to protect Momo from her actions felt like a waste of time. Reports were coming back that the visits of Soi and Matsumoto to the troubled Divisions were making a difference. Something very odd had happened in 11th Division and instead of being on the verge of explosive violence toward 12th Division; they seemed to be training with 2nd Division. Very odd combination and one, which caused him some surprise. It proved that Soi was serious about helping, despite her own feelings.
Momo was wittering on again about her wedding and Toshiro was no longer paying attention. What did it matter the colour she wore, or the flowers or any of the other damn detail she was obsessing about? He felt immensely grateful he wasn't marrying her, as he was certain she'd expect his input in every dull decision. So many damn details. Did any of it matter? Who cared if they released doves, threw confetti, got married in both a Western and Traditional ceremony, or turned up to the wedding naked? On second thoughts, he didn't like the idea of a naked wedding.
It was interesting how his occasional nonsensical comment didn't alert his friend to the fact he wasn't listening. He mumbled something unintelligible to what appeared to be a question and resumed thinking about Soi. Every time he thought about her, he felt a sense of loss and anger. Anger wasn't a good emotion. It blunted all the other more positive emotions and increased his irritation at the barrage of words aimed in his direction.
"What do you think, Shiro?"
"The name is Toshiro or Captain as I've told you countless times, Lieutenant. I think you should make up your own mind about that detail," he improvised cautiously. "After all, it is your wedding, not mine."
"But I thought you might be interested in the selection of music," she said.
Music? Why would he care, he wondered. It didn't make any sense, as music was such a personal thing.
Not really considering his answer he said, "Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap," and then realised his mistake. The song didn't have a meaning unless you took it apart and then carefully analysed the possibilities.
Her mouth open, Momo looked at him. "I don't think I know the song," she said.
"Forget I mentioned it. It's a pleasant enough song," the he decided it might be best to leave before he was asked to answer any more direct questions. "Momo, I need to go outside and check if there are any new developments," he said. It was either he leave the room or his brains might leak out his ears. "I'll be outside if you need anything," he said as her face fell.
She blinked a little and then nodded. "Thank you for listening to me, Toshiro, and for being a good friend."
He tried to prevent the colour creeping into his face. If only she knew some of his more recent thoughts.
Leaving the room, he leant on the wall. What was taking Soi so long to reply? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget about the note he'd sent and how the reply was important to him. What would she say? Was there any chance she might forgive him and they could become friends or even closer?
He always seemed to be waiting. The eternal waiting was infuriating and had to end sometime, didn't it?
Thinking he heard footsteps, he looked up and saw Matsumoto walking toward him. Maybe she had the answer, which would put him out of his misery and let him resume his life.
Before he could ask her any question, she produced a piece of paper which she handed to him. "Toshiro, Captain Fong asked me to give this to you."
Finally, he had the reply and he opened the note. Despite the brevity of the note and the lack of information, he felt his face break into a smile. She was prepared to see him and talk to him! “Where is the Captain?” was his eager question.
Matsumoto shifted uncomfortably and refused to meet his gaze. Then she uttered the words he hadn't expected. “She’s being treated for an injury that I caused." There was little doubt in his mind that his lieutenant felt very guilty about this.
In his astonishment, he accused instead of simply asking. “What did you do to her? There’s no way you could have hurt Soi!”
Her bottom lip protruded somewhat and she replied unhappily, “She was training me and I cut her arm. She fainted and we brought her here as soon as we could.”
Not a full explanation, but he could probe more later. The important thing was to see Soi and assess how bad her injuries were. “Where is she?”
As soon as she told him, he moved in the direction of the room and his lieutenant appeared to be following. He wanted to see Soi without any witnesses and anyway, Momo might enjoy talking about the wedding with Matsumoto. It might prove a fitting punishment for injuring Soi.
“Don’t follow me. Stay here. Talk to Momo. She’s been making my ears hurt with wedding plans and if I’m asked about the colour of the flowers one more time, I’ll insist that she should invite Aizen to the wedding or that a bunch of stinking weeds would make a statement. You’re a woman. You talk to her,” he said and left as fast as he could.
Soi wanted to talk with him. Soi actually wanted to talk to him! He wasn't going to miss this chance to repair the damage done by his careless words.
Entering the room he was gratified to see she was alone. A small bandage was wrapped around her arm and her eyes were closed. Instead of immediately rushing to her side, he looked at her. She looked tired and the corners of her mouth turned down slightly as if she was sad. Was she sad because of him? Had he caused her pain?
Moving quietly he stood next to the bed, looking down at her face. Despite his resolve, he reached down and touched her lips gently and she stirred slightly. Throwing caution to the wind, he hugged her, holding her close to him needing to be assured she was alive. Breathing in the scent of her hair he knew letting her go would be very difficult and being only a friend might prove the biggest problem he had yet encountered.
***************************************************** *****************************
She woke up as someone seemed to be touching her, hugging her. Who would hug her? Why? Where was she? Had she acted like a weak female and fainted? Opening her eyes, she saw two large green eyes staring at her intently. Toshiro was frowning.
"Soi. You fainted. It's not like you to faint. Are you sick? Is there anything wrong?"
Quickly glancing around the room to make certain no one else was there, she tried to sit up. Toshiro helped her. He arms remained around her, providing support and comfort.
"Matsumoto gave me your note. We do have to talk."
She was going to reply but was prevented from doing so as Hanatoro bustled into the room. "You seem fine, Captain. Everything checks out. You fainted as you haven't been eating and we all know what happens if you don't eat properly."
Soi flushed and looked down angrily. She wasn't a child and felt like she was being reprimanded for not eating her vegetables. She'd been busy. Many demands on her time meant she hadn't eaten today.
"I'll make certain the Captain eats something," Toshiro said with a meaningful look.
The look made Soi blush even more. There could be so many interpretations and she suppressed a small shudder at certain images which passed through her mind. She wanted to talk, to make definite boundaries and rules about their 'relationship' but instead her major urge was to relax in Toshiro's arms and forget about the past.
"You are free to go, Captain, but don't forget you need a check up in the next week to see..."
Soi guessed he might mention the baby. "I'll be here tomorrow and you can check how I'm recovering then," she said quickly and louder than she expected. Toshiro mustn't know she was pregnant, not yet, not until they sorted out all the confusion which had dogged their relationship until this point.
"Ummm, Soi..." Toshiro seemed uncomfortable and then she noticed Hanatoro staring at them. He seemed very curious about the two of them being in physical contact.
"Thank you Captain Hitsugaya. I don't need your physical support and am quite capable of getting to my feet by myself," she said pointedly. Gossip spread quickly and she didn't want anything said about the two of them, yet. Not until they had a chance to work out exactly what they meant to each other.
Toshiro backed away rapidly. "Yes, Captain. I was simply helping you as you seemed a little disorientated."
Hanatoro blinked and looked away and Soi wondered if he was convinced or simply dismissing their words.
"See you later, Captain. Thank you for taking care of my lieutenant today. You made more progress with those visits to the Divisions than I expected," Toshiro bowed slightly as he exited.
As he left the room, Soi got to her feet. "Thank you for binding my arm, Hanatoro," she said as she left the room, trying to move slowly despite her urge to run. Would Toshiro be waiting for her in the Linen room? Or had everything changed due to her abrupt dismissal of him?
Walking as casually as she could down the hallway, she kept her eyes lowered, hoping no one spoke to her. There weren't many people she passed but she paused outside the linen room door, waiting to be certain no one observed her.
Pulling the door open, she slipped inside and felt a quickly repressed surge of relief. Toshiro was waiting for her. Before she had a chance to say anything, his arms were around her and he was kissing her. For a moment she resisted, they had to talk, but quickly gave in and kissed him back. They spent minutes, lips joined, eyes closed tongues seeking each other but she exercised as much strength of will as possible and pulled away.
"Toshiro..."
He interrupted. "Soi, I was a fool. You know it and now I know it. I never really wanted to marry Momo once we ummmm...," he stopped, flustered and at a loss. He looked at her and then said, "Once we became involved."
An interesting way of explaining their relationship, but she didn't reply, waiting for him to finish what he wanted to say.
"I've known Momo most of my life and loved her, but didn't understand my love for her is the sort of love you have for a sister; at least that is how I feel about her now."
So, did he always feel the brotherly love for Momo? The question might be asked later, but for now she continued to listen.
"Soi, I love you."
There was no method she knew of to stop the flush rising through her body. It was so hard to keep quiet, but something told her to wait.
"When we stopped talking and started fighting I wanted to blame you for all the problems. It worked for a little while, but then it didn't. We both made mistakes and each mistake led to bigger ones until it was almost impossible to find a way to talk to you without both of us hurting. I've missed you, Soi. Please forgive me."
Now it was time for her to reply. What could she say? Reluctantly she opened her mouth. "Toshiro, this was meant to be nothing: no relationship, no friendship, it was meant to be about the sex."
She heard him gasp at her words, but it had to be said. Pausing for a moment to give him some time to respond she was pleased he let the silence continue until she chose to break it.
"I didn't want to fall in love again or even like someone. Not after Yoruichi," she said by way of explanation. "Caring about someone else hurts when they leave you or fall in love with someone else.
Again she paused. Was she going to use the 'L' word? No. Not now, maybe never. It was too much to say now after everything. Once this mad rush of emotion was over, if they settled into a steady period where they became friends, maybe then.
"Despite everything, even though I think this is a mistake, I care about you and forgive you." There, she'd said something, without really meaning to reveal that much but thankfully without the sugar coating.
Toshiro pursed his lips slightly almost as if he was disappointed in the small admission but then he nodded and dipped his head as if in thought.
Soi waited, wondering what to do next.
"Thank you Soi, for admitting you care," he said quietly, "and for your forgiveness." He smiled slightly. "You didn't ask for me to forgive you."
What had he said? Was he implying she should ask him for forgiveness? She hadn't done anything wrong, well not much. No, she hadn't done anything for which she needed to request forgiveness from him. She folded her arms and glared at him. "I don't need to ask. I didn't do anything wrong."
Instead of replying, he simply looked at her, his face carefully expressionless. Obviously, he thought she did owe him an apology. Did she? If she apologised now, wouldn't that place too much power in his hands.
"Forget it, Toshiro. If you want an apology you will be waiting a long time."
He folded his arms slightly. It didn't matter if he was stubborn, she wasn't giving in. She tightened her arms and scowled at him, her elation at this meeting rapidly disappearing. The old anger, resentment and growling unhappiness began to encroach upon her again.
Suddenly Toshiro laughed and she stared at him in surprise. What was funny about this situation? The brief accord had vanished and she was preparing to give up, once more.
"Soi, one day you'll say sorry and mean it. Now, I'm just so glad to see you again when you are prepared to talk to me."
The man was crazy if he thought she'd ever say sorry to him and mean it, or ask him to forgive her. It was important he know this, but before she could say anything, his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her with passion. For one tiny second she thought of pulling away and continuing the discussion, but didn't want to. Feeling his mouth on hers was the best experience she'd had for days and after all the sadness, she felt entitled to some happiness.
They stood there, kissing her arms finally reaching around his neck as his encircled her waist. 'Why had they fought over such stupid things', she wondered in her intoxicated state. 'Pride,' was her immediate response, but was pride worth any of this?
Of course it was, she reasoned. Without pride there was only duty and being like the other Shinigami whom she despised. Pride was all, but love seemed pretty good now.
"Soi, don't fight with me again. Sometimes I say stupid things or do stupid things, but everyone does."
She stiffened slightly. Was he implying that she said or did stupid things?
"See, I said another stupid thing," Toshiro said quickly as she began to remove her arms. "I'm so glad to have you kiss me once again I'll probably say lots of stupid things."
"Toshiro, why did you wait so long?" She couldn't help but ask.
He stared at her and bit his lip. "I was angry, with you, with Momo, with everyone. Everything I said to you made you angrier, but then you did some things I didn't understand. You helped Kiyone, you continued to protect Momo. In trying to work it out, it seemed you were doing it in spite of me, or to spite me."
How could anyone misinterpret her actions so badly? Wasn't it obvious in helping the other people she was trying to help him?
"Kiyone tried to make her problem yours. That was wrong," she said simply. "Captain Kuchiki has caused some ill feeling amongst certain Captains due to his intolerance and superior attitude," she paused before hastily adding, "I wanted him to accept his flaws, even briefly."
She'd admitted the truth and though it was petty, it was better than trying to dress up her actions as noble.
Toshiro hugged her and laughed. "You made him quake, just a little," then he sighed and said sadly, "Poor Kiyone."
Why did he pity Kiyone? The Captain had promised to marry the woman despite her foolishness.
"I think she may really have some genuine affection for him, but he has none for her," Toshiro continued.
A slight chill touched Soi. Marrying a man, having a child with him when he didn't have any emotional attachment was an awful thought.
Toshiro didn't know she was pregnant. If he found out, would he think she wanted marriage? That her pregnancy was not an accident and she wanted him to marry her?
She shook her head, trying to shake out the ridiculous thoughts. Marriage wasn't something she'd really considered, or only pretended to contemplate. Retsu didn't plan on marrying; wouldn't even name the father of her child. Why did Soi need to marry? As a Captain, she made life and death decisions for all her Division. It was her decision, if she wanted to have a baby.
Talking was making her think too much. Pulling Toshiro close she kissed him to prevent him saying anything else. The force of her embrace made them bump against the door and all the memories of the great sex they'd had returned. Her hands were on his sash, tugging at it, trying to undo it. Toshiro lurched against her, kissing her harder and she thought they again banged into the door. Why was his sash being stubborn?
Moving away from the door, she found she was pressed against a shelf. The kissing was good, but she wanted the rest of it. She pulled even harder on the sash when she heard a voice.
“Toshiro?” queried a surprised voice.
The kissing stopped and Toshiro said in a slightly accusing voice, “I thought you’d locked the door.”
How dare he accuse her? He could have locked the door. “I would have but you began kissing me and I forgot."
Toshiro returned her glare and then smiled. “I like it when you glare at me. It makes me want to kiss you again."
Before he could kiss her again, the intruder, who proved to be Toshiro's lieutenant, grabbed him by the shoulder once more.
“Captains! What are you doing?” She asked, as if it wasn't obvious.
The woman was married to Zaraki! She must know what they were doing, or trying to do.
Toshiro smiled at her, his eyes gleaming with desire. “What’s it look like? We’re sorting linen,” he told his lieutenant.
No one would believe that explanation, but it amused her. “I’ve only heard it called that once before.”
Despite herself, she felt drawn to Toshiro and he felt the same way. She smiled at him, feeling shy and happy remembering the first time they'd kissed and then they were kissing and she didn't care if the lieutenant was watching. She'd had to watch her kiss Zaraki too many times.
Soi was unsure how much time had passed when she heard the woman shuffle and cough slightly, “Um, Captain.”
They had provided the opportunity and Ran would use it. Having witnessed her longing and fretting for her husband made it easy to guess her demands. “Let me guess. If we let you use the passageway, so you can rejoin Zaraki, you won’t tell anyone.”
A small shock at her guess was quickly replaced with relief. Her earlier suspicions were correct. Ran was seeking a way of joining her husband even though he'd forbidden her to follow him, or so the rumours went. “Yes.”
Toshiro pulled away and with a certain amount of displeasure tidied his clothes. “The Captain-General forbade you to follow your husband, remember? You have to stay here.”
The woman thought for a moment and then said questioningly “He didn’t forbid me, just said I had to stay in the Seireitei?"
If she joined her husband she wouldn't be staying in the Seireitei anyway, so why make the argument unless she was trying to make Toshiro forget some other declaration. His next words proved Soi correct.
“Your husband told me that you were not permitted to accompany him,” Toshiro answered pointedly.
Ran nodded unhappily. Then quietly and with a great amount of earnest request, “Maybe I’m following him but maybe we could make it official, like an important message that needs to be delivered?”
The attempt at being guileless was so unconvincing and the situation so absurd, Soi laughed. She was with Toshiro who was holding her hand firmly and they she had forgiven him. The laughter made her feel generous. “Not only does she want our help to break the restrictions upon her, she requires official sanction to follow her husband. Your lieutenant is full of surprises, Toshiro.”
Toshiro frowned slightly and stared at Soi. Their recent experiences with the Captain Yamamoto had been stormy. “But it will annoy the Captain-General if we help her,” he replied. Soi nodded slightly. Annoying the Captain might be one idea.
“We don’t want to do that, do we?" she didn't try to hard the sarcasm.
Toshiro nodded slightly but his tone was firm. ‘No, we don’t, Soi. Not after all the care he’s shown for his subordinates.”
“What has the Captain-General done?” Ran asked.
There was no point in saying anything. The information was personal and the history complex. As she might be leaving soon it was important that only the message they wished to be conveyed be sent, rather than any problems, which might only confuse the issue.
“What makes you think he’s done anything?” Toshiro said, but his expression betrayed his thoughts.
To cover, Soi quickly said, “Captain Yamamoto owes us no explanations. He is our Commander and we do not have the authority to question his orders.”
Placing an arm around her shoulders, Toshiro hugged her close. “If you say it often enough, you might believe it,” he told her quietly. Soi stifled a gasp at his impetuous pronouncement.
The words stung and she pulled away from him. “Never. If I suspect you believe it, you might find a hornet stinging you.” It was a way of obliquely mentioning she appreciated the thoughtfulness of his gift, a little late, but he'd distracted her.
Toshiro's eyes shone with a strange mix of anger and amusement. “Is that likely? That I’ll believe it, especially with you to remind me?”
“No.” It was true.
With a large amount of uncertainty, Ran said unhappily, “If you help me it will annoy Captain Yamamoto and Zaraki.” There was a catch to her voice indicating she might be close to tears. Did she honestly miss her husband that much?
Remembering Zaraki's fury and passion when she'd been abducted it was clear he missed his wife and hated the thought of her being under any threat. If they let her try to rejoin him she may again be under threat, but the Seireitei was not safe. Recent events proved how single actions inflamed strong emotions almost causing major fighting amongst divisions. The woman was a focus and someone or more than one person was trying to kill or capture her.
Zaraki wouldn't forgive them if his wife was injured or dead. If she was with him, he could take care of her.
“You can handle your husband and we will deal with any issues from the Captain-General,” Soi said and then turned to Toshiro, suddenly realising he had been correct in his assessment of his lieutenant, but had severely underestimated her abilities. “You never told me your lieutenant had an ability to obtain what she needs. She’s more intelligent than I thought.”
Toshiro nodded and hugged Soi close. “Yes, she is. Very well, Matsumoto. I feel indebted to you so I’ll help."
This time she did not resist and looped one arm around his neck. “And if it will exasperate the Old Man, I’m for it,” she said and sighed, but another, more pleasant thought crossed her mind. “It looks like we may as well get this moving and then we can go back to your place, Toshiro.”
Toshiro smiled.
All they had to do was break a few rules, a few promises and possibly a few heads. Easy.
A.N.
Demands on time are like buses. They arrive in bunches.
Soundtrack
'Be Together (Electro Funk Lovers Remix)' John Course
'Lost in Thought' Jon Hopkins
'Hide and Seek' Imogen Heap
'Ward 10 (Voodoo Mix)' Monkey Mafia
Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.
Friends or Lovers?
Leaving the room, as fast as was acceptable for a Captain, she was astonished to see her fingers trembling as she slowly opened the letter. She barely cleared to doorway and stood to one side, just out of sight range, or so she hoped, but with luck she had enough privacy so no one could read the letter over her shoulder. Why was she scared? There was nothing to fear from seeing words written on paper. If anything, it would be the final interaction between them, which had anything to do with feelings.Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath didn't slow the thudding of her heart and having her eyes closed made it impossible to read the letter. Resolutely she opened them and began to read the letter.
Soi,
No 'dear', or other salutation, just her name.
You are the only Captain I trust to exercise good judgement in these difficult circumstances
.
What did he mean? Was he praising her or wanting advice?
I regret the misunderstandings, which have come between us and caused what seems to be an irreparable rift. Most of the fault is mine. Words were spoken without due consideration to the situation. Momo is to be married to a member of 4th Division and my obligation to her on this matter is at an end.
Her cheeks flushed. He admitted his fault? A man admitted he had done something wrong? Toshiro had admitted he'd made a mistake! She re-read the paragraph again; hardly able to believe her eyes and then dwelt longingly on the last sentence. He used the word obligation, not love or compassion regarding Momo.
Is it possible to put the past behind us? For us to meet and with the wisdom of experience talk to each other and reach an understanding, which may, eventually, lead to friendship?
Now she was confused. He wanted to be friends? Only friends? Putting the past behind them meant forgetting about the sex and she wasn't certain she could, especially as she was carrying their child.
I have missed hearing your thoughts about the events which are taking place too rapidly. Please, Soi, forgive me.
He missed her. She hugged the letter. Forgiveness? Maybe if he gave her good sex. Wait, what was she thinking? No more snap decisions. This time it was essential all the repercussions of any action were examined and re-examined before she took any action.
As a token of my sincerity, I send this statuette to you and hope you will accept it in the spirit in which it is given.
Did that mean the hornet was a love token, or one of friendship?
With deep respect and love,
Toshiro Hitsugaya
Wait. Hold on. He said love and respect.
Toshiro loved her.
She loved him.
They were having a child and Momo was no longer an obligation. This was what she'd hoped for, even when she was denying her emotional attachment to Toshiro. If he had never mentioned Momo that fateful time all the problems and fights might not have happened, but then they may have fought about other issues. Now she admitted that trying to be in a relationship, even one that was only about sex, was not easy. Not when emotions became involved, no matter how much she denied they were there.
What was the next step? What should she say in her reply? It was against her nature to forgive anyone quickly, except Yoruichi, yet she wanted to forgive him. There were so many things she needed to say to him, to share with him. If they worked together, it was possible they could overcome some of the problems in the Seireitei and devise a plan to overcome the threat of the Winter War.
How could she reply? What could she say? Words on paper. She didn't enjoy writing reports, but this was more important than any report. The words might commit her to an action she wasn't prepared to take or perhaps express emotion she was not yet ready to admit to anyone except herself, and that was a very deep secret.
She'd simply reply with a few brief words.
Lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed the arrival of another member of 11th Division who walked past her into the room she had recently vacated. The man who had spoken so firmly to the troublemaker was talking to Matsumoto.
“As Captain Zaraki ordered me to serve you, I had been ordered to stay with you at all times,” he said as he straightened, a friendly smile on his face.
A strange but telling look passed over Matsumoto's face. “I don’t want someone following me around all the time,” she said.
Interesting. Did the woman really dislike the idea or was she planning something reckless? Considering the events of the last few weeks, Soi decided to intervene. As she replaced the letter in the envelope she re-entered the room. “I agree with the decision,” she said.
“Okay, fine. Just stay your distance. I hate being crowded,” Matsumoto replied to the man, her frustration obvious.
Soi almost laughed. Hated being crowded? Not if it was Zaraki, but she decided to change the subject. It was imperative the situation with Toshiro be resolved and quickly so she could abandon the feeling of abandonment. The time for brooding over his mistakes and her errors was over and she wanted to be in his arms again, making him give her pleasure. She didn't want to commit anything compromising to paper, but wished to provide a clear message.
“Lieutenant, do you have paper and a pen? I wish to reply to your Captain,” she asked.
It was obvious the woman was not very well acquainted with the room. She hesitated when asked and then headed toward a table which she smiled at with a strange expression and then returned with the requested paper and pen.
A few seconds thought and she quickly wrote:
"Toshiro, we should talk. I'll be waiting in the Linen Room in 4th Division. Meet me there. Soi"
She glanced at it, sealed it and handed it to Toshiro's lieutenant before she could change her mind. "Would you hand this to your Captain before I speak with him?" Then she thought of an excuse she could use to be at 4th Division. "I believe I should check on Lieutenant Hinamori before we return to the Captain-General so that I can assure him of her continuing recovery,” then she decided to change the subject. “Why are you carrying a bag?”
Another strange smile crossed the women's face. “I thought I’d take a few things to Momo."
Momo was the excuse of the day, it seemed. Well, she'd been an excuse for so many things, why not for both of them. She didn't really believe that Ran was carrying things to Momo, but then she didn't really have an excuse to visit 4th Division. Instead of asking further questions, she pretended to agree.
The walk to 4th Division was silent. Matsumoto didn't say anything, her eyes seemed firmly fixed on the sky. Her new companion followed with a small frown and Soi wondered if she too was frowning. There was so much to think about.
Toshiro loved her. Then she noticed the thought made her smile. Quickly losing the smiled, she tried to think of other things, but her mind kept drifting back to the letter. He loved her, he missed her, and didn't want to marry Momo.
She HAD to think of something else. Anything. Her mind was constantly returning to thoughts and questions that could not be answered by logic alone. Physical exercise might help and she'd made a vague promise to Toshiro's lieutenant. Why not take advantage of it now, work off some of the stress and tension she was experiencing and pay back a favour. The fewer favours she owed the less the feeling of obligation and her life was already too cluttered with difficult factors.
Including her lieutenant. It was preferable not to think of the man, but she'd have to address the issue and soon. Maybe Toshiro would have some advice on how to deal with a lazy, unruly and useless subordinate, not that she believed his subordinate was useless, or lazy. Possibly unruly, but it was not her problem.
She saw the large grassy area near 4th Division, stopped and spoke to Matsumoto. “Lieutenant, I made an offer to you earlier and I feel in need of some exercise. Would you care for some training?”
The surprised look was quickly replaced with one of pleasure. "Yes, thank you," the lieutenant said as she handed her bag to Arai.
Soi waited until she was ready and facing her, noticing her well balanced stance. “Good. Draw your zanpakuto. I take it that you have communed with the spirit of your blade?”
There was a small pause and then the woman nodded. Possibly, there was some problem with her spirit, but it often too time, diplomacy or sheer bloody mindedness to work with some of the creatures. None of the moves were predictable or easy to manage and a few were downright maddening.
Instead of prying further, she provided some advice. “Try to establish that communion within your mind as we fight. Try to rouse it’s emotions as you fight so that they blend with your own.” Waiting a few beats, Soi attacked, not holding back.
Matsumoto seemed unprepared for the attack and backed away quickly. She had a strange, unfocused look which might mean she was scared, or trying to talk to the spirit of her zanpakuto. Soi hoped it was the latter.
She waited seconds and attacked again. To Soi's surprise, she met the blow and pushed back.
Briefly, Soi wondered if the problem had been that too many people treated this woman gently, not forcing her to take control and fight back properly, or maybe she had made a breakthrough. Whichever it was, Soi was very pleased and from the shocked and joyful look on her opponents face, so was she. “That shows promise. Do it again.”
They joined battle. Slowly Matsumoto loosened up, and instead of continual defensive moves, produced a few offensive ones. The longer they battled, the more impressive her skills were. Of course, she was using many of the fighting techniques taught at the Academy, even some of the difficult ones, but it proved that Soi might be correct. Since graduating her skills hadn't been tested often enough. Probably more time was spent on the paperwork than on maintaining her skills. It took discipline to keep working on skills already learnt in order to keep them sharp and from her observation many Shinigami lost interest over time, becoming complacent, except when exposed to one of the more difficult Hollows.
Soi began to warm up as well and began employing something one of her instructors had always said was a disadvantage: her height. She was small and lithe and even now while pregnant, she still had speed on her side. She kept attempting to get under Matsumoto's guard and stab her, not hard, but enough to draw blood and prove her victory. Or somersaulting behind her to slash there. On one such closing, when a long slash was barely avoided, she had one tiny moment of distraction, convinced she'd felt Toshiro's reiatsu somewhere nearby. Feeling a pain in her arm and she looked down and noticed a long, narrow cut. The fight abruptly stopped and she looked at Matsumoto in surprise.
What could she say? How could she cover her mistake? “Heck. I let my mind get distracted by something,” she said looking at her arm with anger. 'Heck'? She never used that word. Why use it now?
The lieutenant looked stricken. "We better get this seen to immediately” but the words seemed to come from some distance as her vision blurred.
********************************************************* *************************
Toshiro was bored and agitated at the same time. It was unpleasant. How long before he received a response to his letter? Waiting around here, trying to protect Momo from her actions felt like a waste of time. Reports were coming back that the visits of Soi and Matsumoto to the troubled Divisions were making a difference. Something very odd had happened in 11th Division and instead of being on the verge of explosive violence toward 12th Division; they seemed to be training with 2nd Division. Very odd combination and one, which caused him some surprise. It proved that Soi was serious about helping, despite her own feelings.
Momo was wittering on again about her wedding and Toshiro was no longer paying attention. What did it matter the colour she wore, or the flowers or any of the other damn detail she was obsessing about? He felt immensely grateful he wasn't marrying her, as he was certain she'd expect his input in every dull decision. So many damn details. Did any of it matter? Who cared if they released doves, threw confetti, got married in both a Western and Traditional ceremony, or turned up to the wedding naked? On second thoughts, he didn't like the idea of a naked wedding.
It was interesting how his occasional nonsensical comment didn't alert his friend to the fact he wasn't listening. He mumbled something unintelligible to what appeared to be a question and resumed thinking about Soi. Every time he thought about her, he felt a sense of loss and anger. Anger wasn't a good emotion. It blunted all the other more positive emotions and increased his irritation at the barrage of words aimed in his direction.
"What do you think, Shiro?"
"The name is Toshiro or Captain as I've told you countless times, Lieutenant. I think you should make up your own mind about that detail," he improvised cautiously. "After all, it is your wedding, not mine."
"But I thought you might be interested in the selection of music," she said.
Music? Why would he care, he wondered. It didn't make any sense, as music was such a personal thing.
Not really considering his answer he said, "Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap," and then realised his mistake. The song didn't have a meaning unless you took it apart and then carefully analysed the possibilities.
Her mouth open, Momo looked at him. "I don't think I know the song," she said.
"Forget I mentioned it. It's a pleasant enough song," the he decided it might be best to leave before he was asked to answer any more direct questions. "Momo, I need to go outside and check if there are any new developments," he said. It was either he leave the room or his brains might leak out his ears. "I'll be outside if you need anything," he said as her face fell.
She blinked a little and then nodded. "Thank you for listening to me, Toshiro, and for being a good friend."
He tried to prevent the colour creeping into his face. If only she knew some of his more recent thoughts.
Leaving the room, he leant on the wall. What was taking Soi so long to reply? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't forget about the note he'd sent and how the reply was important to him. What would she say? Was there any chance she might forgive him and they could become friends or even closer?
He always seemed to be waiting. The eternal waiting was infuriating and had to end sometime, didn't it?
Thinking he heard footsteps, he looked up and saw Matsumoto walking toward him. Maybe she had the answer, which would put him out of his misery and let him resume his life.
Before he could ask her any question, she produced a piece of paper which she handed to him. "Toshiro, Captain Fong asked me to give this to you."
Finally, he had the reply and he opened the note. Despite the brevity of the note and the lack of information, he felt his face break into a smile. She was prepared to see him and talk to him! “Where is the Captain?” was his eager question.
Matsumoto shifted uncomfortably and refused to meet his gaze. Then she uttered the words he hadn't expected. “She’s being treated for an injury that I caused." There was little doubt in his mind that his lieutenant felt very guilty about this.
In his astonishment, he accused instead of simply asking. “What did you do to her? There’s no way you could have hurt Soi!”
Her bottom lip protruded somewhat and she replied unhappily, “She was training me and I cut her arm. She fainted and we brought her here as soon as we could.”
Not a full explanation, but he could probe more later. The important thing was to see Soi and assess how bad her injuries were. “Where is she?”
As soon as she told him, he moved in the direction of the room and his lieutenant appeared to be following. He wanted to see Soi without any witnesses and anyway, Momo might enjoy talking about the wedding with Matsumoto. It might prove a fitting punishment for injuring Soi.
“Don’t follow me. Stay here. Talk to Momo. She’s been making my ears hurt with wedding plans and if I’m asked about the colour of the flowers one more time, I’ll insist that she should invite Aizen to the wedding or that a bunch of stinking weeds would make a statement. You’re a woman. You talk to her,” he said and left as fast as he could.
Soi wanted to talk with him. Soi actually wanted to talk to him! He wasn't going to miss this chance to repair the damage done by his careless words.
Entering the room he was gratified to see she was alone. A small bandage was wrapped around her arm and her eyes were closed. Instead of immediately rushing to her side, he looked at her. She looked tired and the corners of her mouth turned down slightly as if she was sad. Was she sad because of him? Had he caused her pain?
Moving quietly he stood next to the bed, looking down at her face. Despite his resolve, he reached down and touched her lips gently and she stirred slightly. Throwing caution to the wind, he hugged her, holding her close to him needing to be assured she was alive. Breathing in the scent of her hair he knew letting her go would be very difficult and being only a friend might prove the biggest problem he had yet encountered.
***************************************************** *****************************
She woke up as someone seemed to be touching her, hugging her. Who would hug her? Why? Where was she? Had she acted like a weak female and fainted? Opening her eyes, she saw two large green eyes staring at her intently. Toshiro was frowning.
"Soi. You fainted. It's not like you to faint. Are you sick? Is there anything wrong?"
Quickly glancing around the room to make certain no one else was there, she tried to sit up. Toshiro helped her. He arms remained around her, providing support and comfort.
"Matsumoto gave me your note. We do have to talk."
She was going to reply but was prevented from doing so as Hanatoro bustled into the room. "You seem fine, Captain. Everything checks out. You fainted as you haven't been eating and we all know what happens if you don't eat properly."
Soi flushed and looked down angrily. She wasn't a child and felt like she was being reprimanded for not eating her vegetables. She'd been busy. Many demands on her time meant she hadn't eaten today.
"I'll make certain the Captain eats something," Toshiro said with a meaningful look.
The look made Soi blush even more. There could be so many interpretations and she suppressed a small shudder at certain images which passed through her mind. She wanted to talk, to make definite boundaries and rules about their 'relationship' but instead her major urge was to relax in Toshiro's arms and forget about the past.
"You are free to go, Captain, but don't forget you need a check up in the next week to see..."
Soi guessed he might mention the baby. "I'll be here tomorrow and you can check how I'm recovering then," she said quickly and louder than she expected. Toshiro mustn't know she was pregnant, not yet, not until they sorted out all the confusion which had dogged their relationship until this point.
"Ummm, Soi..." Toshiro seemed uncomfortable and then she noticed Hanatoro staring at them. He seemed very curious about the two of them being in physical contact.
"Thank you Captain Hitsugaya. I don't need your physical support and am quite capable of getting to my feet by myself," she said pointedly. Gossip spread quickly and she didn't want anything said about the two of them, yet. Not until they had a chance to work out exactly what they meant to each other.
Toshiro backed away rapidly. "Yes, Captain. I was simply helping you as you seemed a little disorientated."
Hanatoro blinked and looked away and Soi wondered if he was convinced or simply dismissing their words.
"See you later, Captain. Thank you for taking care of my lieutenant today. You made more progress with those visits to the Divisions than I expected," Toshiro bowed slightly as he exited.
As he left the room, Soi got to her feet. "Thank you for binding my arm, Hanatoro," she said as she left the room, trying to move slowly despite her urge to run. Would Toshiro be waiting for her in the Linen room? Or had everything changed due to her abrupt dismissal of him?
Walking as casually as she could down the hallway, she kept her eyes lowered, hoping no one spoke to her. There weren't many people she passed but she paused outside the linen room door, waiting to be certain no one observed her.
Pulling the door open, she slipped inside and felt a quickly repressed surge of relief. Toshiro was waiting for her. Before she had a chance to say anything, his arms were around her and he was kissing her. For a moment she resisted, they had to talk, but quickly gave in and kissed him back. They spent minutes, lips joined, eyes closed tongues seeking each other but she exercised as much strength of will as possible and pulled away.
"Toshiro..."
He interrupted. "Soi, I was a fool. You know it and now I know it. I never really wanted to marry Momo once we ummmm...," he stopped, flustered and at a loss. He looked at her and then said, "Once we became involved."
An interesting way of explaining their relationship, but she didn't reply, waiting for him to finish what he wanted to say.
"I've known Momo most of my life and loved her, but didn't understand my love for her is the sort of love you have for a sister; at least that is how I feel about her now."
So, did he always feel the brotherly love for Momo? The question might be asked later, but for now she continued to listen.
"Soi, I love you."
There was no method she knew of to stop the flush rising through her body. It was so hard to keep quiet, but something told her to wait.
"When we stopped talking and started fighting I wanted to blame you for all the problems. It worked for a little while, but then it didn't. We both made mistakes and each mistake led to bigger ones until it was almost impossible to find a way to talk to you without both of us hurting. I've missed you, Soi. Please forgive me."
Now it was time for her to reply. What could she say? Reluctantly she opened her mouth. "Toshiro, this was meant to be nothing: no relationship, no friendship, it was meant to be about the sex."
She heard him gasp at her words, but it had to be said. Pausing for a moment to give him some time to respond she was pleased he let the silence continue until she chose to break it.
"I didn't want to fall in love again or even like someone. Not after Yoruichi," she said by way of explanation. "Caring about someone else hurts when they leave you or fall in love with someone else.
Again she paused. Was she going to use the 'L' word? No. Not now, maybe never. It was too much to say now after everything. Once this mad rush of emotion was over, if they settled into a steady period where they became friends, maybe then.
"Despite everything, even though I think this is a mistake, I care about you and forgive you." There, she'd said something, without really meaning to reveal that much but thankfully without the sugar coating.
Toshiro pursed his lips slightly almost as if he was disappointed in the small admission but then he nodded and dipped his head as if in thought.
Soi waited, wondering what to do next.
"Thank you Soi, for admitting you care," he said quietly, "and for your forgiveness." He smiled slightly. "You didn't ask for me to forgive you."
What had he said? Was he implying she should ask him for forgiveness? She hadn't done anything wrong, well not much. No, she hadn't done anything for which she needed to request forgiveness from him. She folded her arms and glared at him. "I don't need to ask. I didn't do anything wrong."
Instead of replying, he simply looked at her, his face carefully expressionless. Obviously, he thought she did owe him an apology. Did she? If she apologised now, wouldn't that place too much power in his hands.
"Forget it, Toshiro. If you want an apology you will be waiting a long time."
He folded his arms slightly. It didn't matter if he was stubborn, she wasn't giving in. She tightened her arms and scowled at him, her elation at this meeting rapidly disappearing. The old anger, resentment and growling unhappiness began to encroach upon her again.
Suddenly Toshiro laughed and she stared at him in surprise. What was funny about this situation? The brief accord had vanished and she was preparing to give up, once more.
"Soi, one day you'll say sorry and mean it. Now, I'm just so glad to see you again when you are prepared to talk to me."
The man was crazy if he thought she'd ever say sorry to him and mean it, or ask him to forgive her. It was important he know this, but before she could say anything, his mouth was on hers and he was kissing her with passion. For one tiny second she thought of pulling away and continuing the discussion, but didn't want to. Feeling his mouth on hers was the best experience she'd had for days and after all the sadness, she felt entitled to some happiness.
They stood there, kissing her arms finally reaching around his neck as his encircled her waist. 'Why had they fought over such stupid things', she wondered in her intoxicated state. 'Pride,' was her immediate response, but was pride worth any of this?
Of course it was, she reasoned. Without pride there was only duty and being like the other Shinigami whom she despised. Pride was all, but love seemed pretty good now.
"Soi, don't fight with me again. Sometimes I say stupid things or do stupid things, but everyone does."
She stiffened slightly. Was he implying that she said or did stupid things?
"See, I said another stupid thing," Toshiro said quickly as she began to remove her arms. "I'm so glad to have you kiss me once again I'll probably say lots of stupid things."
"Toshiro, why did you wait so long?" She couldn't help but ask.
He stared at her and bit his lip. "I was angry, with you, with Momo, with everyone. Everything I said to you made you angrier, but then you did some things I didn't understand. You helped Kiyone, you continued to protect Momo. In trying to work it out, it seemed you were doing it in spite of me, or to spite me."
How could anyone misinterpret her actions so badly? Wasn't it obvious in helping the other people she was trying to help him?
"Kiyone tried to make her problem yours. That was wrong," she said simply. "Captain Kuchiki has caused some ill feeling amongst certain Captains due to his intolerance and superior attitude," she paused before hastily adding, "I wanted him to accept his flaws, even briefly."
She'd admitted the truth and though it was petty, it was better than trying to dress up her actions as noble.
Toshiro hugged her and laughed. "You made him quake, just a little," then he sighed and said sadly, "Poor Kiyone."
Why did he pity Kiyone? The Captain had promised to marry the woman despite her foolishness.
"I think she may really have some genuine affection for him, but he has none for her," Toshiro continued.
A slight chill touched Soi. Marrying a man, having a child with him when he didn't have any emotional attachment was an awful thought.
Toshiro didn't know she was pregnant. If he found out, would he think she wanted marriage? That her pregnancy was not an accident and she wanted him to marry her?
She shook her head, trying to shake out the ridiculous thoughts. Marriage wasn't something she'd really considered, or only pretended to contemplate. Retsu didn't plan on marrying; wouldn't even name the father of her child. Why did Soi need to marry? As a Captain, she made life and death decisions for all her Division. It was her decision, if she wanted to have a baby.
Talking was making her think too much. Pulling Toshiro close she kissed him to prevent him saying anything else. The force of her embrace made them bump against the door and all the memories of the great sex they'd had returned. Her hands were on his sash, tugging at it, trying to undo it. Toshiro lurched against her, kissing her harder and she thought they again banged into the door. Why was his sash being stubborn?
Moving away from the door, she found she was pressed against a shelf. The kissing was good, but she wanted the rest of it. She pulled even harder on the sash when she heard a voice.
“Toshiro?” queried a surprised voice.
The kissing stopped and Toshiro said in a slightly accusing voice, “I thought you’d locked the door.”
How dare he accuse her? He could have locked the door. “I would have but you began kissing me and I forgot."
Toshiro returned her glare and then smiled. “I like it when you glare at me. It makes me want to kiss you again."
Before he could kiss her again, the intruder, who proved to be Toshiro's lieutenant, grabbed him by the shoulder once more.
“Captains! What are you doing?” She asked, as if it wasn't obvious.
The woman was married to Zaraki! She must know what they were doing, or trying to do.
Toshiro smiled at her, his eyes gleaming with desire. “What’s it look like? We’re sorting linen,” he told his lieutenant.
No one would believe that explanation, but it amused her. “I’ve only heard it called that once before.”
Despite herself, she felt drawn to Toshiro and he felt the same way. She smiled at him, feeling shy and happy remembering the first time they'd kissed and then they were kissing and she didn't care if the lieutenant was watching. She'd had to watch her kiss Zaraki too many times.
Soi was unsure how much time had passed when she heard the woman shuffle and cough slightly, “Um, Captain.”
They had provided the opportunity and Ran would use it. Having witnessed her longing and fretting for her husband made it easy to guess her demands. “Let me guess. If we let you use the passageway, so you can rejoin Zaraki, you won’t tell anyone.”
A small shock at her guess was quickly replaced with relief. Her earlier suspicions were correct. Ran was seeking a way of joining her husband even though he'd forbidden her to follow him, or so the rumours went. “Yes.”
Toshiro pulled away and with a certain amount of displeasure tidied his clothes. “The Captain-General forbade you to follow your husband, remember? You have to stay here.”
The woman thought for a moment and then said questioningly “He didn’t forbid me, just said I had to stay in the Seireitei?"
If she joined her husband she wouldn't be staying in the Seireitei anyway, so why make the argument unless she was trying to make Toshiro forget some other declaration. His next words proved Soi correct.
“Your husband told me that you were not permitted to accompany him,” Toshiro answered pointedly.
Ran nodded unhappily. Then quietly and with a great amount of earnest request, “Maybe I’m following him but maybe we could make it official, like an important message that needs to be delivered?”
The attempt at being guileless was so unconvincing and the situation so absurd, Soi laughed. She was with Toshiro who was holding her hand firmly and they she had forgiven him. The laughter made her feel generous. “Not only does she want our help to break the restrictions upon her, she requires official sanction to follow her husband. Your lieutenant is full of surprises, Toshiro.”
Toshiro frowned slightly and stared at Soi. Their recent experiences with the Captain Yamamoto had been stormy. “But it will annoy the Captain-General if we help her,” he replied. Soi nodded slightly. Annoying the Captain might be one idea.
“We don’t want to do that, do we?" she didn't try to hard the sarcasm.
Toshiro nodded slightly but his tone was firm. ‘No, we don’t, Soi. Not after all the care he’s shown for his subordinates.”
“What has the Captain-General done?” Ran asked.
There was no point in saying anything. The information was personal and the history complex. As she might be leaving soon it was important that only the message they wished to be conveyed be sent, rather than any problems, which might only confuse the issue.
“What makes you think he’s done anything?” Toshiro said, but his expression betrayed his thoughts.
To cover, Soi quickly said, “Captain Yamamoto owes us no explanations. He is our Commander and we do not have the authority to question his orders.”
Placing an arm around her shoulders, Toshiro hugged her close. “If you say it often enough, you might believe it,” he told her quietly. Soi stifled a gasp at his impetuous pronouncement.
The words stung and she pulled away from him. “Never. If I suspect you believe it, you might find a hornet stinging you.” It was a way of obliquely mentioning she appreciated the thoughtfulness of his gift, a little late, but he'd distracted her.
Toshiro's eyes shone with a strange mix of anger and amusement. “Is that likely? That I’ll believe it, especially with you to remind me?”
“No.” It was true.
With a large amount of uncertainty, Ran said unhappily, “If you help me it will annoy Captain Yamamoto and Zaraki.” There was a catch to her voice indicating she might be close to tears. Did she honestly miss her husband that much?
Remembering Zaraki's fury and passion when she'd been abducted it was clear he missed his wife and hated the thought of her being under any threat. If they let her try to rejoin him she may again be under threat, but the Seireitei was not safe. Recent events proved how single actions inflamed strong emotions almost causing major fighting amongst divisions. The woman was a focus and someone or more than one person was trying to kill or capture her.
Zaraki wouldn't forgive them if his wife was injured or dead. If she was with him, he could take care of her.
“You can handle your husband and we will deal with any issues from the Captain-General,” Soi said and then turned to Toshiro, suddenly realising he had been correct in his assessment of his lieutenant, but had severely underestimated her abilities. “You never told me your lieutenant had an ability to obtain what she needs. She’s more intelligent than I thought.”
Toshiro nodded and hugged Soi close. “Yes, she is. Very well, Matsumoto. I feel indebted to you so I’ll help."
This time she did not resist and looped one arm around his neck. “And if it will exasperate the Old Man, I’m for it,” she said and sighed, but another, more pleasant thought crossed her mind. “It looks like we may as well get this moving and then we can go back to your place, Toshiro.”
Toshiro smiled.
All they had to do was break a few rules, a few promises and possibly a few heads. Easy.
A.N.
Demands on time are like buses. They arrive in bunches.
Soundtrack
'Be Together (Electro Funk Lovers Remix)' John Course
'Lost in Thought' Jon Hopkins
'Hide and Seek' Imogen Heap
'Ward 10 (Voodoo Mix)' Monkey Mafia
Review. Reviews sometimes amuse.