Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Gratitude ❯ Gratitude ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo.

Author's note: Thanks to Char for the beta! ^_^

Kurotshuchi Nemu bowed low before him, “Thank you for your kindness.”

He couldn't help the startled cry as he jumped a step away from her. It had been a long day and Abarai Renji had just left the 11th division lodge for a drink when she appeared in front of him suddenly out of the darkness. Clearing his throat he did his best to regain his composure. “Ah, yeah, sure, you're welcome.” He had no idea what she was talking about, but really didn't want to ask. Like most Shinigami, he tried his best to avoid anyone from the 12th division.

Nemu raised her head and stared at him, “Was my expression of gratitude not satisfactory?”

“What?” he asked, not only because he had no clue what she was talking about, but also to stall for  some time to think of how to get away from her. She was staring at him with those emotionless eyes. It had to be a joke; someone must have talked Nemu into doing this for them, not that it would be difficult to convince her to do anything. He looked around, desperately hoping to see Ikkaku or someone else from his division hiding in the shadows, amused by his discomfort.

He was so distracted, he didn't see Nemu move towards him. He didn't realize her hands were reaching towards him until they were untying the sash at his waist.

“Hey!” he cried, jumping away from her.

Nemu followed him back into the lodge he had just come out of. “Forgive me. I should have suggested a place with more privacy.” She told him, again reaching for the tie at his waist.

Renji grabbed her wrists, trying to pull her hands away without being too forceful. Her wrists felt so tiny and delicate in his hands, he worried about hurting her. She may have been smaller, but her strength was far greater than her size would suggest, and she easily freed a hand. The hand plunged down the front of his hakama, where she immediately began stroking him.

“What the hell are you doing?” he cried, grabbing her wrist again, stopping the motion.



She stared at him, not understanding what was going on. She'd been with enough men to know he was enjoying what she was doing, yet he was protesting and trying to stop her. “I am showing you my appreciation for your help earlier today. You did not seem pleased before, I thought this might please you better. It seems to please others.”

He suddenly remembered. It was something he'd done without thought. It hadn't been for her at all to be honest; it had been a way to deal with a crappy day. He'd been stuck babysitting the new recruits. Fresh out of the academy, he wasn't sure where they had heard the rumors. They were well known throughout the 13 Gotei, but he didn't think they were circulating through the academy. He wasn't sure he believed the rumors himself, but everyone knew the stories. Nemu could be talked into doing nearly anything given a logical argument as to why she should. He'd only left them alone for a few minutes and when he returned he'd found them slacking off. The fact that a group of them were trying to get Nemu to meet them later had only given him more of a reason to kick some ass.

As the recruits scurried away to avoid more injury, he'd turned to find Ikkaku lounging against a building watching him. It was bad enough the bastard had lied about being busy, but then he had the nerve to make a smart ass comment about Renji being a hero. He hadn't even said anything to Nemu but she must have overheard Ikkaku's comment and thought this was a normal way to thank someone. She had no social skills and no ability to relate to others. Renji suddenly felt sorry for her.

“Look, I appreciate the thought, but it's not necessary.” He told her as gently as he could. From the look on her face, he thought he may have hurt her feelings; it was difficult to tell given her normal expression.

Nemu slowly removed her hand, “I understand.” She said, keeping her eyes on the ground, “I am sorry for troubling you.” She turned to leave still not looking at him.

Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed her hand, “Wait.” She turned towards him again and he saw it. The hurt in her eyes.

Renji was no expert on women. He didn't spend a lot of time with them and the few he did were total opposites. Growing up he'd always been with Rukia, and once he'd been accepted to the academy, he'd spent time with Hinamori. With such limited experience dealing with emotions, he had no idea what to expect from Nemu. If it were Rukia, she would have already been swearing at him, so Nemu must react like Hinamori which meant...He froze, desperately trying to calm the panic threatening to swallow him. What the hell was it you were supposed to do when women started crying? Embrace them?

Yeah, he'd seen that before. Taking a deep breath, he took a step forward and gently pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her.

Nemu found herself against Renji's chest. Her confusion grew. She didn't understand why he'd refused her in the first place, she'd never been refused before. It made even less sense for him to stop her and embrace her. She pulled away slightly so she could look into his face. “I do not understand.”

He loosened his already uncomfortable grip on her. She wasn't crying which was good, but she wasn't angry either, she just looked confused. She wasn't the only one, and Renji realized he was in over his head.

“You refused me, yet you stopped me from leaving. I do not understand.”

At this point, simply looking like a fool would have been a relief and he found himself wishing it was all a joke. “I just, hell, I don't know anymore!” he cried, running his hand through his hair, “You looked upset, that's all!” He turned away quickly, feeling his cheeks burn. What the hell was he blushing for? He was in the 11th division, the toughest division in all of the 13 Gotei, they didn't blush, damn it!

Nemu stared at his back. Nothing about this man made any sense, part of the strongest, most dangerous squad in the 13 Gotei, yet he was kind, almost shy with her. She knew she was no expert on emotions, she made a point of not having them. Her existence was based on being of service to her captain, and as such, emotions were worthless. She'd found that for the most part it was easy enough to manipulate anyone by appealing to their baser emotions and desires. Sex had always been a means to the end. Not that she didn't enjoy sex, even when she was using it she could still find pleasure in it; but she'd given up on her own desires. Something about his man was different, something about him made her desire him. “A kiss.” she suggested.

Renji was afraid to turn around. He could feel the heat increasing on his cheeks,”What?”

“A kiss should be an acceptable form of gratitude.”

He wanted to tell her no, but he also wanted her to leave without having to hurt her feelings. He wasn't a total asshole after all. A kiss seemed a small price to pay. Turning to face her, he was surprised to see she was right behind him. Two seconds, he told himself, it would be over in two seconds. He leaned down, turning his face so she could give him a peck on the cheek. She was fast though, and caught his face in her hands, turning his mouth towards hers. Next thing he knew her lips were crushed against his, her tongue violently trying to force its way between his lips.

“Whoa!” he cried, grabbing her by the shoulders and holding her away from him at arm's length, “What the hell was that?”

Nemu stared at him, “A kiss.” She answered simply.

Renji sighed, for some reason her answer made him feel sorry for her again, “No,” he told her gently, “I'm not sure who told you but...” How the hell could he describe it so she would understand? It would be easier to just show her... looking at her confused face he knew he couldn't just send her away.  Aww, fuck it, if that made him an asshole, then fine, he would be an asshole. He HAD to do something. “It's more like...” she stood in front of him, tense and looking as though she were waiting for his command.

This would not be as easy as he had first thought. “You have to relax.” He lifted one hand, fingers lightly curling around her chin, his thumb gently tracing her bottom lip. The tension slowly left her and her lips parted slightly. He tilted her chin up and leaned towards her.

Nemu watched him lean into her. His lips brushed hers, softly and then moved away. She wasn't sure if it had actually happened until he leaned in and did it a second time. The third time his tongue slid along her bottom lip, parting her lips even more. His tongue eased into her mouth surprising her with his gentle movements. Heat pooled in her belly, quickly moving lower, her heartbeat sped up and she was finding it hard to catch her breath. Her arms reached up, wrapping around his neck. Her eyes slid closed and she lost herself in the sensations.

He pulled back slowly as he ended the kiss. It was supposed to be a quick kiss, just something to make her feel better so she would leave him alone, he hadn't expected it to affect him as much as it did. The effects were made even worse when she slowly opened her eyes and stared up at him. Naked desire shone in the normally emotionless eyes. He would have taken a step away from her, but her hands remained locked around his neck, holding him where he was.

“May I try now?” her voice was soft and throaty, barely above a whisper.

Common decency would have told him to stop right there. The problem was common decency was the last thing on Renji's mind at the point. All he could do was nod.

Nemu pulled his mouth to hers, carefully mimicking his actions. The moan that escaped his lips was involuntary, just as his hands moving away from her shoulders so his arms could encircle her waist. Nemu, on the other hand used the opportunity to push herself
closer, pressing her body against his. One hand trailed over his shoulder, down his chest       
slipping under his uniform gi.

Renji broke the kiss, his hand closing on her wrist. “I told you, you don't have to do this.”

“No,” she told him matter of factly, “this is no longer about expressing gratitude. I want you to show me more.”

“Show you?”

“I was mistaken about a kiss, perhaps there are other things I'm mistaken about.”

He was pretty sure she was talking about sex, but maybe it was just his own wishful thinking, “You don't...” he began but she cut him off.

“I realize it is not necessary. It is something I want to do.”

How could he say no to that? Yet even as the thought went through his head, he hesitated. He couldn't explain what it was, but he sensed a fragility about her. He didn't want to hurt her anymore, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She whispered, moving her hand out of his grip, bringing her lips to his again. And she was sure, for the first time she was actually doing something for no other reason than she wanted to.

As Nemu pulled his face to hers, Renji  saw it in her eyes. She wasn't emotionless, just resigned to her fate. Beneath the desire there was a determination, something he recognized in himself. And he allowed her to slide her hands under his gi and slip it off.

Nemu stared at his naked chest. The tattoos that twisted around his body fascinated her. There was something about them that almost looked electric and she reached out slowly to touch them, unsure if there would be some sort of shock. Her fingers gently traced the patterns and when there was no reaction, she lowered her face so she could traced them with her tongue.

Renji's skin jumped at the feel of her soft, wet tongue. His hands found their way into her silky hair. It had been a long time since he'd been with a woman, not since Rukia, and that was shortly after they'd joined the academy.

The thought of Rukia made him want to pull away from Nemu, made him feel like he was doing something wrong. But it had been a long time since they'd gone their separate ways, and now he was free to do as he pleased.

He reached out and gently took her hands, hoping to guide her over to the couch on the other side of the room, but she pulled away from him. She took a step away from him and untied the sash around her dress, sliding her arms out of it so she could drop it on the floor. With her dress out of the way, she reached for him, allowing him to guide her to the couch. He sat and gently pulled her onto his lap.

That's when he saw them. The scars. They were scattered over her arms, breasts and stomach. Most were small, almost surgical looking, but there were some that were obviously wounds. They'd all been well treated to minimize their size, but there were a few more recent ones that looked like they had just begun to heal. Part of him wanted to ask her about them, but the more logical part of his brain told him he would not be able to listen to her describing the horrible things her captain had done to her in that calm voice she used. Instead, he began to explore her body with his hands and mouth, thinking that maybe by making her feel good he could make her forget the horror she lived with every day, even if it were only for a little while.   

His large calloused hands seemed to be everywhere. Running over her body while his mouth was alternating between her breasts. She slid her hand inside his hakama pants and wrapped her fingers around his member. His sudden gasp made her smile and she began to move her hand up and down.

Renji grabbed her wrist to stop her hand. “Not so rough.” He whispered in her ear before he released her wrist. His hand hovered above it waiting to see if he would need to stop her again, but her grip loosened and her hand began to move slowly. He buried his face in her shoulder, the slow, soft movements kept him from moving for a moment.

The muffled moan she heard told her she was doing better. And she wanted to do better; she wanted to repay him. He'd been so patient with her and kind to her, she owed him something. She pushed on his shoulder  and he allowed her to push him onto his back.

Even though he allowed her to push him on his back so she could kneel above him, Renji was still a bit nervous about what she was going to do. She'd been rough and forceful since they'd started and putting her in charge could be a bad idea. He tensed as she pulled his hakama pants lower and leaned down to take him in her mouth. She was slow and gentle and he was able to lay back and enjoy the sensation of her mouth moving slowly up and down.

Nemu knew she would be able to please him this way. She'd been beaten more than once for doing it wrong. Judging by the look on his face, eyes closed, teeth sunk into his bottom lip and the quivering in his thighs as he fought the urge to thrust into her mouth, she knew she was pleasing him. A moan escaped his lips and she sped up her motions.

“Stop.” His voice sounded choked as he reached out to pull her away. He wouldn't last much longer if she continued.

Nemu sat up, looking down at him curiously, “Is there something I've done wrong?” she asked, confused by his actions. She was pretty sure he was enjoying what she was doing and had no clue why he would make her stop.

He ran his hand through his hair, “No, you didn't do anything wrong, it's just that...” He didn't want to have to explain to her what the problem was, so he pulled her into his arms and kissed her again, easing her back onto the couch. He ran his hands over her legs, slowly pulling them apart so he could kneel between them. “Okay?” he asked as he positioned himself at her entrance.

She nodded and he slid into her. She stared up at him, still trying to figure out why he had stopped her, but he slowly started moving and she was lost in the pleasure he was creating. Her legs wrapped around him and she moaned without thinking.

Renji moved slowly, watching her face carefully for any sign that she was not enjoying what he was doing. Her normally emotionless face clearly showed her pleasure. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, now and then a moan would escape her lips.

Nemu couldn't stop the moans. It was the first time a man had taken his time with her. And it was good. The slow, gently movements began to speed up and she wrapped her arms around him, her nails digging into his back.

As he began to move faster, she clung to him. He was surprised when she suddenly began pushing on his shoulders, but he let her push him onto his back again so she could ride him. Her hands splayed across his chest, her eyes were closed and her jaw was set in determination. He reached up and covered her breasts with his large hands, kneading them softly, rolling her nipples between his fingers.

Her moans became louder, her nails dug into the flesh on his chest and her movements were becoming erratic. He reached up and grabbed her legs so he could get her to change positions. Laying her on  her back he was able to speed up his thrusts. Her arms
and legs quickly locked around him. Her entire body clamped down on him and her moan was loud enough he was afraid it could be heard throughout the entire Gotei. A few more thrusts and he spilled his seed in her, collapsing gently on her.

They lay still a few minutes catching their breath before Renji rose and began to gather their clothes. He had no idea what to say to her now that they'd...done what they'd done. Even thinking about it caused a blush to rise on his cheeks. What was he supposed to do now?

He handed her her dress unable to meet her eyes as he did so. She took it and bowed, “Thank you, now I know what I should be doing.”

“No, that's not what...” he was unsure of how to explain it to her.

“You can show me more next time.” she told him as she slid her dress on.

“No!” he cried, “That's not why we...did what we did!”

“Then why did we?”

“It was...”

The door banged open, “What's keeping you, Abarai?” Ikkaku bellowed as he barged into the lodge. He stopped when he noticed the two of them together. “Huh.”

“Okay, come on.” Renji told Ikkaku, finishing straightening his robes. He turned back to Nemu, “I'll see you later and...uh...thank you.” He was immediately caught up in a headlock as he tried to walk past Ikkaku.

He missed the quick glance Ikkaku gave Nemu as they left.

Nemu finished straightening her dress and watched Ikkaku dragging Renji out  for a drink and thought there would definitely be as second time.